A lot of people start searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits could make one or both people in the relationship feel as though they are being taken for granted.
Some people may find that they are arguing more often than they are enjoying one another. Other people might find that there's nothing left to say to one another or they merely fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.
Your relationship does not have to be this way.
Frequently the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they do not address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship might be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.
There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you are able to use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are a few relationship rescue suggestions you are able to try to help get you back on the right track.
1. Appreciation
When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, a lot of people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They start to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.
Regrettably, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner could often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.
It is important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You may appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them to begin with.
2. Awareness
Live every day of your relationship as if it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this does not mean it is going to happen to you, consider how you would feel if something did happen and today truly was the final day you had together.
What would you regret most? What would you wish you'd said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?
Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as if it was your last, the romance will return almost at once.
3. Communication
Your partner can not read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you are at bursting point will not make your partner see problems any more clearly and it could compound the negative emotions inside you.
It is important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what you are feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you are able to both make sure you are on the same page.
Relationship rescue is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you are able to communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue attempts will be rewarded.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
Many people find that once the relationship has broken up, there may still be some signs that your ex wants you back. Sometimes people end relationships for the wrong reasons. This could be because of an argument that led to them saying something they didn't really mean, or it could be because they ended up taking the relationship for granted.
If your relationship has ended and you're wondering if those signals you're receiving are signs your ex wants you back, then there are some things you should think about. There are some men who only want to keep in touch so they can get what they need from you when they want it. However, there are some specific signs that your ex wants you back instead of just wanting to get what he can get.
It's important that you distinguish between real signs and things you hope to see. Some women love their partners so much their imagination helps them to visualize their partner making positive signals to get them back. While it's easy to see the positive in anything he does when you're wanting him back, you must remember that some signals will be him just trying to get whatever he can get from you, while there will be definite clear signals that tell you he really wants to fix the relationship and start over.
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
Maybe the biggest sign your ex wants you back is when he starts trying to communicate with you often. You begin to notice you are getting calls or text messages and e-mails more regularly and he seems to want to just keep in touch. This is frequently a good sign that he wants to test the waters to see if you are still angry or if you are willing to talk.
If you notice during conversations with him that he keeps telling you about things he's doing that are new or different, these may be signs that he's trying to impress you by improving himself. In his mind, he had to be thinking he was not good enough to make the relationship work last time, so working to find ways to impress you, such as joining a gym or taking self-help classes or aiming at a new promotion at work or trying to earn more money may be ways for him to try and prove to you that he's a better catch now.
Another way to recognize signs your ex wants you back could be listening carefully to the questions he asks you when you catch up again. If he seems to be really interested in what you are doing and who you spend your time with, then he still has some interest in you. He's testing the waters to be sure you do not have a new guy on the scene.
The biggest possible signs your ex wants you back are unmistakable, yet many women miss them! When he says to you 'I miss you and I want you back', this is an absolutely sure sign he really wants to come back. It is surprising how many men tell their ex-girlfriends this, yet the emotionally worried woman simply does not hear it – or worse, she does not believe it. She thinks it is a trick or that there's a catch.
The truth is, if he looks you in the eye and tells you he wants to come back, then do not quiz him or accuse him or be doubtful about his signs. Smile. Be the happy, confident person he fell in love with and that he enjoys spending time with. After all, it is the positive signs your ex wants you back that you should be looking for.
If your relationship has ended and you're wondering if those signals you're receiving are signs your ex wants you back, then there are some things you should think about. There are some men who only want to keep in touch so they can get what they need from you when they want it. However, there are some specific signs that your ex wants you back instead of just wanting to get what he can get.
It's important that you distinguish between real signs and things you hope to see. Some women love their partners so much their imagination helps them to visualize their partner making positive signals to get them back. While it's easy to see the positive in anything he does when you're wanting him back, you must remember that some signals will be him just trying to get whatever he can get from you, while there will be definite clear signals that tell you he really wants to fix the relationship and start over.
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
Maybe the biggest sign your ex wants you back is when he starts trying to communicate with you often. You begin to notice you are getting calls or text messages and e-mails more regularly and he seems to want to just keep in touch. This is frequently a good sign that he wants to test the waters to see if you are still angry or if you are willing to talk.
If you notice during conversations with him that he keeps telling you about things he's doing that are new or different, these may be signs that he's trying to impress you by improving himself. In his mind, he had to be thinking he was not good enough to make the relationship work last time, so working to find ways to impress you, such as joining a gym or taking self-help classes or aiming at a new promotion at work or trying to earn more money may be ways for him to try and prove to you that he's a better catch now.
Another way to recognize signs your ex wants you back could be listening carefully to the questions he asks you when you catch up again. If he seems to be really interested in what you are doing and who you spend your time with, then he still has some interest in you. He's testing the waters to be sure you do not have a new guy on the scene.
The biggest possible signs your ex wants you back are unmistakable, yet many women miss them! When he says to you 'I miss you and I want you back', this is an absolutely sure sign he really wants to come back. It is surprising how many men tell their ex-girlfriends this, yet the emotionally worried woman simply does not hear it – or worse, she does not believe it. She thinks it is a trick or that there's a catch.
The truth is, if he looks you in the eye and tells you he wants to come back, then do not quiz him or accuse him or be doubtful about his signs. Smile. Be the happy, confident person he fell in love with and that he enjoys spending time with. After all, it is the positive signs your ex wants you back that you should be looking for.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
How To Stop A Divorce
Are you worried that you may not be able to find ways how to stop a divorce? If you are like most people, you would have tried everything you are able to think of in an effort to keep your relationship and stop it from falling apart.
Regrettably, if you are also like most people, some of those things you have been doing to try and figure out how to stop a divorce are actually pushing your partner further away.
Here are a couple of the things most people do when they think they know how to stop a divorce.
1. Reassurance
Most people try hard to tell their partner that they will change. They reassure them that if they stay in the relationship, things will be different. If you have been pleading with your partner to stay and reassuring him that everything will be better, then you may be pushing him further away.
2. Desperation
The majority of women trying to stop a divorce tell their partner over and over again 'I love you'. They want him to see how much they care in the hope that it will make him stay. Trying to make your partner understand how much you love him and how much you need him is almost certain to make him want to pull away. After all, if you keep telling him that you can not live without him and he's the only one who can make you happy, then he's seeing that act of desperation as coming from a person who no longer has the confidence of the woman he originally fell in love with.
3. Talking
Many women spend endless hours talking, arguing, reasoning, analyzing and trying to fix a failing relationship. This tactic never works. As a matter of fact, it merely reinforces to a man that the relationship must be in serious trouble if it requires this much arguing and analyzing, so why keep trying? Nobody wants to be married to somebody who constantly wants to focus on the negative aspects of everything that's going on.
While these things are almost normal instinctive behaviors for a lot of women, they do not actually work when it comes to finding ways how to stop a divorce. What works is taking a step back and looking at your relationship a little differently. It is time to remove the emotion for just a moment and work on the dynamics of how you and your partner connected to begin with.
Think about when you first met. You would both have been happy and confident and cheerful. It was just fun to be in each others company. You would have been quite happy to accept your partner for who he was and you would have both made an effort to be sure to compromise on some things so you were both happy. Your partner would have fallen madly in love with you because you made him feel happy when you were together.
In order to find a real way how to stop a divorce, you need to work out how to get back that happy, confident woman your husband fell in love with in the first place. This isn't the same thing as getting a make-over. Your physical appearance isn't going to change a person's emotions. You will need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of what's going on and work on your own inner happiness. When you are happy and confident on the inside, you suddenly become more like the person your partner loves and respects. That's the woman he enjoys spending time with and that will also be the woman he will stop pulling away from.
When you can raise your confidence levels to that point and avoid all the usual triggers that push men away, you'll have learned the easiest way of how to stop a divorce.
Regrettably, if you are also like most people, some of those things you have been doing to try and figure out how to stop a divorce are actually pushing your partner further away.
Here are a couple of the things most people do when they think they know how to stop a divorce.
1. Reassurance
Most people try hard to tell their partner that they will change. They reassure them that if they stay in the relationship, things will be different. If you have been pleading with your partner to stay and reassuring him that everything will be better, then you may be pushing him further away.
2. Desperation
The majority of women trying to stop a divorce tell their partner over and over again 'I love you'. They want him to see how much they care in the hope that it will make him stay. Trying to make your partner understand how much you love him and how much you need him is almost certain to make him want to pull away. After all, if you keep telling him that you can not live without him and he's the only one who can make you happy, then he's seeing that act of desperation as coming from a person who no longer has the confidence of the woman he originally fell in love with.
3. Talking
Many women spend endless hours talking, arguing, reasoning, analyzing and trying to fix a failing relationship. This tactic never works. As a matter of fact, it merely reinforces to a man that the relationship must be in serious trouble if it requires this much arguing and analyzing, so why keep trying? Nobody wants to be married to somebody who constantly wants to focus on the negative aspects of everything that's going on.
While these things are almost normal instinctive behaviors for a lot of women, they do not actually work when it comes to finding ways how to stop a divorce. What works is taking a step back and looking at your relationship a little differently. It is time to remove the emotion for just a moment and work on the dynamics of how you and your partner connected to begin with.
Think about when you first met. You would both have been happy and confident and cheerful. It was just fun to be in each others company. You would have been quite happy to accept your partner for who he was and you would have both made an effort to be sure to compromise on some things so you were both happy. Your partner would have fallen madly in love with you because you made him feel happy when you were together.
In order to find a real way how to stop a divorce, you need to work out how to get back that happy, confident woman your husband fell in love with in the first place. This isn't the same thing as getting a make-over. Your physical appearance isn't going to change a person's emotions. You will need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of what's going on and work on your own inner happiness. When you are happy and confident on the inside, you suddenly become more like the person your partner loves and respects. That's the woman he enjoys spending time with and that will also be the woman he will stop pulling away from.
When you can raise your confidence levels to that point and avoid all the usual triggers that push men away, you'll have learned the easiest way of how to stop a divorce.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
How To Win Love Back
It is easy to fall into routines and habits in relationships where we all end up taking what we have for granted. We merely expect the other person to be there until one day the relationship comes crumbling down around you. Luckily learning how to win love back is easier than most people believe.
The problem with most 'how to win love back' tactics is that they do not take into consideration the primary differences between the way men and women think. Women will try really hard to make their man understand how much they love him and need him, while men view actions as speaking louder than any words you are able to say.
If you are serious about learning how to win love back, then you will need to spend a bit of time removing the words from your relationship's memories and having a look at what your actions were saying.
Most women can think of times when they were trying hard to tell their man that they love him and want him to stay. You know the words you said, but what did your actions say? To a man, you would have been showing him how upset you were and how hurt you were. In his mind, he would have been thinking that he's the cause of all your misery, so you would be better off if he just broke up with you. This means all your reassurances of how much you love him actually pushed him away!
Think about all the times where you both argued and got angry. Your words may have been trying to make him see reason and understand your point of view, but your actions were telling him something very different. Your man would not have heard the words you shouted at him. He would only have seen a really unhappy woman who truly was not happy with the man before her. His mind would instantly have thought he was the cause of your misery and he's believe it is easier to break up with you instead of keep making you so unhappy. The same thing is true if you give him the silent treatment.
When you are learning how to win back love, you have to recognize that your actions will speak far louder than any words you are able to say. Your partner wants you to be happy. He also wants to believe you are happy when you are spending time with him. The best possible way to show him that he's the right man for you is to go out and work on your own self-confidence levels.
When you feel happy within yourself and you are confident and brimming with life, you are irresistible to the man who fell in love with you. After all, when the relationship was still new and exciting, you were both bubbly and happy and pleased to spend time with each other. This is the version of you your partner fell in love with.
Spend some time working on things that make you happy. Hang out with friends or take a walk to clear your unhappy thoughts. Watch a fun movie and then suggest that you catch up with your man over a friendly cup of coffee. Your actions will show that you are a more pleasant person to be with and his feelings will begin to re-kindle as though by magic.
The problem with most 'how to win love back' tactics is that they do not take into consideration the primary differences between the way men and women think. Women will try really hard to make their man understand how much they love him and need him, while men view actions as speaking louder than any words you are able to say.
If you are serious about learning how to win love back, then you will need to spend a bit of time removing the words from your relationship's memories and having a look at what your actions were saying.
Most women can think of times when they were trying hard to tell their man that they love him and want him to stay. You know the words you said, but what did your actions say? To a man, you would have been showing him how upset you were and how hurt you were. In his mind, he would have been thinking that he's the cause of all your misery, so you would be better off if he just broke up with you. This means all your reassurances of how much you love him actually pushed him away!
Think about all the times where you both argued and got angry. Your words may have been trying to make him see reason and understand your point of view, but your actions were telling him something very different. Your man would not have heard the words you shouted at him. He would only have seen a really unhappy woman who truly was not happy with the man before her. His mind would instantly have thought he was the cause of your misery and he's believe it is easier to break up with you instead of keep making you so unhappy. The same thing is true if you give him the silent treatment.
When you are learning how to win back love, you have to recognize that your actions will speak far louder than any words you are able to say. Your partner wants you to be happy. He also wants to believe you are happy when you are spending time with him. The best possible way to show him that he's the right man for you is to go out and work on your own self-confidence levels.
When you feel happy within yourself and you are confident and brimming with life, you are irresistible to the man who fell in love with you. After all, when the relationship was still new and exciting, you were both bubbly and happy and pleased to spend time with each other. This is the version of you your partner fell in love with.
Spend some time working on things that make you happy. Hang out with friends or take a walk to clear your unhappy thoughts. Watch a fun movie and then suggest that you catch up with your man over a friendly cup of coffee. Your actions will show that you are a more pleasant person to be with and his feelings will begin to re-kindle as though by magic.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend - How To Get Her Back
A lot of men tell me 'I am still in love with my ex girlfriend.' They want to know if there's anything they can do to get her back. The very first question to ask men who think they want their ex back is to ask what they have already tried.
A man who's serious about getting his ex girlfriend back will generally say he's repeatedly tried to tell her how much he loves her and needs her. He's reassured her that he will change and the relationship will be different if she gives him a second chance. This sort of begging and pleading merely shows a woman that you are desperate and frequently drives them even further away.
Some men will try the opposite maneuver to pleading and they will turn to bribery. Buying her costly gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants in an attempt to impress her will not work either. She might accept your tokens, but bribery Is not the way to win back love.
The vast majority of women want to be in a relationship with a man who will listen to what she has to say. Even if she's just making small talk, it is important to her that she's heard. This does not mean you have to agree with everything she says. You just need to hear.
When asked if they are willing to listen to their ex girlfriends, men who are trying hard to get back their ex frequently say 'I have tried to listen, but she does not listen to a word I say.' Sometimes when men think they are listening, what they are actually doing is hearing the problem and then immediately talking back to offer a solution to fix whatever problem his girlfriend is having. He believes because she does not hear a word he says that she's not listening.
However, only hearing the parts of the conversation you think you are able to help her with and then trying to make her listen to you first isn't the same as YOU listening to your girlfriend's needs. Women appreciate men who listen to them. Regrettably, men communicate in slightly different ways, which could probably have been a contributing factor to your break up to begin with.
If you are still thinking 'I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend and want to get her back', then practice listening. Ask her a question and then listen to what she says intently. Make a comment about her response or ask another question relating to her response, but do not try to fix it or dismiss it as unimportant. Simply listen to her.
Women assume that a man who listens to her truly cares. It tells you that you understand and that you are truly interested. The next time you receive an opportunity to get together with your ex, take some time to establish eye contact and really listen intently to what she says.
At first, you may find your ex-girlfriend is a little confused or guarded about your sudden change, but when she realizes that you are interested in what she's saying she will start to relax and realize that you do care. She will immediately begin wondering why her feelings for you went away and they should come rushing back when she understands that you really do still love your ex and really do want her back.
A man who's serious about getting his ex girlfriend back will generally say he's repeatedly tried to tell her how much he loves her and needs her. He's reassured her that he will change and the relationship will be different if she gives him a second chance. This sort of begging and pleading merely shows a woman that you are desperate and frequently drives them even further away.
Some men will try the opposite maneuver to pleading and they will turn to bribery. Buying her costly gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants in an attempt to impress her will not work either. She might accept your tokens, but bribery Is not the way to win back love.
The vast majority of women want to be in a relationship with a man who will listen to what she has to say. Even if she's just making small talk, it is important to her that she's heard. This does not mean you have to agree with everything she says. You just need to hear.
When asked if they are willing to listen to their ex girlfriends, men who are trying hard to get back their ex frequently say 'I have tried to listen, but she does not listen to a word I say.' Sometimes when men think they are listening, what they are actually doing is hearing the problem and then immediately talking back to offer a solution to fix whatever problem his girlfriend is having. He believes because she does not hear a word he says that she's not listening.
However, only hearing the parts of the conversation you think you are able to help her with and then trying to make her listen to you first isn't the same as YOU listening to your girlfriend's needs. Women appreciate men who listen to them. Regrettably, men communicate in slightly different ways, which could probably have been a contributing factor to your break up to begin with.
If you are still thinking 'I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend and want to get her back', then practice listening. Ask her a question and then listen to what she says intently. Make a comment about her response or ask another question relating to her response, but do not try to fix it or dismiss it as unimportant. Simply listen to her.
Women assume that a man who listens to her truly cares. It tells you that you understand and that you are truly interested. The next time you receive an opportunity to get together with your ex, take some time to establish eye contact and really listen intently to what she says.
At first, you may find your ex-girlfriend is a little confused or guarded about your sudden change, but when she realizes that you are interested in what she's saying she will start to relax and realize that you do care. She will immediately begin wondering why her feelings for you went away and they should come rushing back when she understands that you really do still love your ex and really do want her back.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
How To Save A Relationship - Take Baby Steps
Well the good news is that if both of you are agreeable, the actual process of how to save a relationship is reasonably easy. If both of you still want to be life partners then you know that you love one another; but for some reason are finding it difficult to communicate right now.
Life gets in the way of relationships. There's no two ways around that. Regrettably we are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. We could spend time sorting out our kids problems, our friends problems perhaps even those of our work colleagues only to arrive home in a heap worn out. We frequently assume that our partner can read our mind and know that we love and care about them.
But no matter how secure somebody is, if they constantly feel or are made feel that they belong at the bottom of a really long list of priorities, they might leave. Feelings of resentment could grow over time and become rather like a snowball - small to start but soon takes on large proportions.
The first step would be to arrange a night where both of you are free to concentrate 100% on your relationship. Get a babysitter for the children and head out someplace for the evening. If you pick a public place, you're less likely to let your resentments boil over into an argument.
Agree that both of you want this relationship to work and reassure one another that you're committed to your partnership. Arrange a series of date nights - these nights are for you two as a couple. You could each write out a list of what you would like to try in the relationship be it a night at the Opera or a particular technique in the bedroom. Then alternate trying to fulfil the other person's wishes.
Likewise the lists of treats you would like, you also should make a list of all that you enjoy about the relationship and then a list of the problem areas as you each see them.
Spending time together away from the hassles of real life will help you to rediscover the magic that brought you together. Sharing the above lists will help you to recognize what you have and what you need to work on.
Now it may be easy for one party to become offended at what is written down. You both need to know that this exercise has been done exclusively to increase the satisfaction level in your relationship not to knock the other person's confidence or blame them for the problems. Try not to become defensive but listen to both the good parts and the bad. Try not to go to bed on an argument as unresolved conflict could cause more bitterness. Showing love and appreciation goes a long way believe me.
By encouraging open communication and time for each other you should find that your commitment to each other becomes stronger and your friends will soon be asking you for advice on how to save a relationship.
Life gets in the way of relationships. There's no two ways around that. Regrettably we are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. We could spend time sorting out our kids problems, our friends problems perhaps even those of our work colleagues only to arrive home in a heap worn out. We frequently assume that our partner can read our mind and know that we love and care about them.
But no matter how secure somebody is, if they constantly feel or are made feel that they belong at the bottom of a really long list of priorities, they might leave. Feelings of resentment could grow over time and become rather like a snowball - small to start but soon takes on large proportions.
The first step would be to arrange a night where both of you are free to concentrate 100% on your relationship. Get a babysitter for the children and head out someplace for the evening. If you pick a public place, you're less likely to let your resentments boil over into an argument.
Agree that both of you want this relationship to work and reassure one another that you're committed to your partnership. Arrange a series of date nights - these nights are for you two as a couple. You could each write out a list of what you would like to try in the relationship be it a night at the Opera or a particular technique in the bedroom. Then alternate trying to fulfil the other person's wishes.
Likewise the lists of treats you would like, you also should make a list of all that you enjoy about the relationship and then a list of the problem areas as you each see them.
Spending time together away from the hassles of real life will help you to rediscover the magic that brought you together. Sharing the above lists will help you to recognize what you have and what you need to work on.
Now it may be easy for one party to become offended at what is written down. You both need to know that this exercise has been done exclusively to increase the satisfaction level in your relationship not to knock the other person's confidence or blame them for the problems. Try not to become defensive but listen to both the good parts and the bad. Try not to go to bed on an argument as unresolved conflict could cause more bitterness. Showing love and appreciation goes a long way believe me.
By encouraging open communication and time for each other you should find that your commitment to each other becomes stronger and your friends will soon be asking you for advice on how to save a relationship.
Monday, August 24, 2009
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.
But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:
1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.
2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.
3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.
4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.
5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.
6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.
All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.
But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:
1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.
2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.
3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.
4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.
5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.
6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.
All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Best Relationship Quotes I Know
I love reading relationship quotes and today I thought I would share a couple of my favorite ones with you. Where possible, proper credit has been given to the person who wrote or spoke the original quote. However in some cases that may not have been possible.
You know love funny quotes as I believe humour is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:
"What can you say to a man who has just had sex? Anything you like as he is asleep".
Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"
Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes.
“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.
As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”
Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time. Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."
While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behaviour it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.
"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.
As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread". Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.
You know love funny quotes as I believe humour is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:
"What can you say to a man who has just had sex? Anything you like as he is asleep".
Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"
Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes.
“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.
As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”
Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time. Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."
While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behaviour it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.
"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.
As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread". Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.
Friday, August 21, 2009
How A Rebound Relationship Can Work
Are you worried about your new partner and whether they're committed to you? Do you wonder how a rebound relationship can work particularly if there are unresolved feelings left from the previous affair?
Frequently rebound relationships could be a quick fix solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the individual getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Normally people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event really takes place. By the time they get to finish it, they might have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.
This does not apply to the individual who did not instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people can't bear to be on their own so will fit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They're used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for somebody to love them and need them and therefore they could become deeply emotionally involved really quickly. Ironically this is frequently the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swamped by the level of neediness.
It's worth noting that often somebody on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They're hurting emotionally and mentally and could crave comfort from another human being. This could mean that they wind up in a relationship for the sake of having someone to hold rather than to be with that individual. Their new partner could get very hurt as the realization kicks in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they could provide a band aid solution to a painful situation.
It's always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make certain that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everybody needs time on their own especially if they come out of a long term partnership.
It's a bit like grieving - there's a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it. For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everybody will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.
If you do find yourself involved with somebody who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date others. Keep in contact with them if you're interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although perhaps not immediately. This is actually the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.
Frequently rebound relationships could be a quick fix solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the individual getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Normally people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event really takes place. By the time they get to finish it, they might have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.
This does not apply to the individual who did not instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people can't bear to be on their own so will fit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They're used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for somebody to love them and need them and therefore they could become deeply emotionally involved really quickly. Ironically this is frequently the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swamped by the level of neediness.
It's worth noting that often somebody on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They're hurting emotionally and mentally and could crave comfort from another human being. This could mean that they wind up in a relationship for the sake of having someone to hold rather than to be with that individual. Their new partner could get very hurt as the realization kicks in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they could provide a band aid solution to a painful situation.
It's always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make certain that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everybody needs time on their own especially if they come out of a long term partnership.
It's a bit like grieving - there's a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it. For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everybody will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.
If you do find yourself involved with somebody who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date others. Keep in contact with them if you're interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although perhaps not immediately. This is actually the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Great Relationship Advice For Men
Men frequently wonder if they're speaking the same language as women because they can land in hot water really quickly. They look for relationship advice for men in order to avoid these situations but most relationship advice is written by women for other women.
There are a few basic rules that men need to understand in order to increase their success rate with women.
The first one is you need to worry when your woman gives you the silent treatment. Most men go silent because they've nothing left to say but when a woman goes silent, it's typically a little hint that you have upset her. While you might think that silence is golden, women use not talking as a punishment. So if your girlfriend has a silent day, think back over your actions and try to determine what you have done to upset her.
Secondly, PMS is not always the reason for a woman being in a bad mood. Occasionally they are upset and hurt over something and it has nothing to do with when their period is due. If you constantly blame PMS, you will in all probability find yourself searching the lonely hearts columns in the near future.
Women like to discuss their problems but this does not mean that they want you to fix everything. Most females are quite capable of looking after themselves and they just want to let off steam. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Just in case, it was so you could listen to what your partner is saying before you jump in with the solution. Do yourself a favor and believe that silence in this instance goes a long way.
When looking for relationship advice for men, they frequently look in the wrong places. It's not ideal to ask your partners father what her problem is. First of all he is unlikely to understand her any more than you do but being the apple of his eye, he will wonder what you have done to upset her.
It helps to remember that your female partner and an elephant have something in common - their memory. Your partner will never forget anything so do not be surprised if she has a list a mile long of all the things you did wrong in the last 6 months.
Try talking to your partner. Tell her frequently how much you love and appreciate her and cuddle her without always expecting it to lead to sex. Like people of both sexes, women like to be held and appreciated without feeling they have to give you something in return.
Likewise if you are worried about something speak to your partner. While she might be female, she is not helpless and two heads are often better than one at solving a problem. Additionally, if she knows what is bothering you she is less likely to become emotionally distant having decided that you must be having an affair or are planning to leave her.
Life long partnerships take work on both sides but be careful what sources you use as relationship advice for men.
There are a few basic rules that men need to understand in order to increase their success rate with women.
The first one is you need to worry when your woman gives you the silent treatment. Most men go silent because they've nothing left to say but when a woman goes silent, it's typically a little hint that you have upset her. While you might think that silence is golden, women use not talking as a punishment. So if your girlfriend has a silent day, think back over your actions and try to determine what you have done to upset her.
Secondly, PMS is not always the reason for a woman being in a bad mood. Occasionally they are upset and hurt over something and it has nothing to do with when their period is due. If you constantly blame PMS, you will in all probability find yourself searching the lonely hearts columns in the near future.
Women like to discuss their problems but this does not mean that they want you to fix everything. Most females are quite capable of looking after themselves and they just want to let off steam. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Just in case, it was so you could listen to what your partner is saying before you jump in with the solution. Do yourself a favor and believe that silence in this instance goes a long way.
When looking for relationship advice for men, they frequently look in the wrong places. It's not ideal to ask your partners father what her problem is. First of all he is unlikely to understand her any more than you do but being the apple of his eye, he will wonder what you have done to upset her.
It helps to remember that your female partner and an elephant have something in common - their memory. Your partner will never forget anything so do not be surprised if she has a list a mile long of all the things you did wrong in the last 6 months.
Try talking to your partner. Tell her frequently how much you love and appreciate her and cuddle her without always expecting it to lead to sex. Like people of both sexes, women like to be held and appreciated without feeling they have to give you something in return.
Likewise if you are worried about something speak to your partner. While she might be female, she is not helpless and two heads are often better than one at solving a problem. Additionally, if she knows what is bothering you she is less likely to become emotionally distant having decided that you must be having an affair or are planning to leave her.
Life long partnerships take work on both sides but be careful what sources you use as relationship advice for men.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tips To Getting Your Ex Back
Getting your ex back dominates the thoughts of many a man and woman. Maybe you were the one to finish the relationship thinking that life was passing you by. Having been in the nightmare that's the singles world, you've decided that your ex was fantastic and now you need to know how to get them back. Or perhaps you were the one who was dumped but having had time to pull yourself together you are determined to teach your former partner the error of their ways.
Before you consider how to get your ex back in your life, you should be 100% certain that this is the outcome that you want. You're going to spend a lot of time and energy accomplishing this wish but it will be a waste of everybody's time if you are doing it only for revenge. This applies to those people that have been dumped so begin dreaming of revenge and how it will make them feel better. One quote that I believe in is revenge is a dish best served cold. What it means is that you have to let your emotions, primarily your anger, calm before taking any action. What I believe the quote is trying to achieve is that by the time you have cooled off, you will forget about your ex and be putting your energies into meeting somebody new.
But for those of us who have decided that our ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend was the ONE, here are a few tips to try to getting your ex back.
1) Don't appear needy. Desperation is never an attractive quality. You will be far more successful in attracting your ex mate if you appear to be living your life fully. Do not call or make contact with them. You will have sufficient mutual friends to be able to appear to be in the same location as your ex by accident.
2) Don't stalk your ex - again this isn't the way forward. You want them to come back to you not have them report you to the police for stalking.
3) Always look your best. Wear their favorite clothes, hairstyle, makeup etc. Remember all those little details that used to drive them wild and use them to your advantage.
4) Do not try and make your ex jealous by dating somebody else. This is juvenile behavior. There is never an excuse for using another person in this way.
5) Try being direct. Men and women frequently have communication issues therefore the best selling books such as "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" etc. So occasionally the best way to getting your ex back is just to tell them how you feel. Aside from a little pride, what do you have to lose?
If you are sure that getting your ex back in your life will make you happy, you need to pull out all the stops!
How To Win Back Lost Love
If you're determined to win back lost love, then go for it. You only have one life and it's up to you how you live it. If you're certain that this individual is the right partner for you, go get him/her today.
Be strong and single-minded in your approach. Now you know what you want, it will be easier to ignore everybody else’s advice and well meaning contributions. If this individual is your lost love, then trust your own judgment. You know them better than anybody else so you should be able to work out how best to get them to return to you.
Make sure of your motives particularly that you are not trying to rekindle lost love because you're scared of being on your own. Being single could be fun, it just takes a little getting used to. It's difficult to be objective when emotions are involved so it's always a good idea to write down a list of all the reasons why you want this individual back. Also write down a list of why the relationship failed. Plainly you would expect the first list to be the long one!
Occasionally people break up and it's the wrong decision. We can all take our lives for granted and as we get older we occasionally wonder if we have missed out. These feelings could cause people to do silly things like walking out on their relationship. If being apart has shown you the error of your ways, then make contact with them and ask to meet up.
If you hurt your ex, you must be prepared to take things really slowly and at their pace. They're unlikely to fall in your arms declaring undying love if you've hurt them badly. If they do, you must still carry on with caution as any lingering problems need to be resolved.
Be aware that regardless how much you miss the other person, there was a reason why you broke up and that needs to be dealt with to prevent it causing fresh troubles. There are a few things that just can't be overcome no matter how much we love the other individual. The idea that love conquers everything belongs in Hollywood not in real life.
If, for instance, you broke up because your partner wants kids and you do not then it's unfair to get back together unless you have changed your mind. Denying another person the chance of having kids causes the type of pressure that very few if any relationships can endure. The resentment will in all likelihood kill the love you shared.
If you have issues that can be resolved with some mutual work, then go for it. Life is too short to waste time in regrets. Occasionally it's not always the easy way forward to try to win back lost love but frequently it's the best step you could ever take.
Be strong and single-minded in your approach. Now you know what you want, it will be easier to ignore everybody else’s advice and well meaning contributions. If this individual is your lost love, then trust your own judgment. You know them better than anybody else so you should be able to work out how best to get them to return to you.
Make sure of your motives particularly that you are not trying to rekindle lost love because you're scared of being on your own. Being single could be fun, it just takes a little getting used to. It's difficult to be objective when emotions are involved so it's always a good idea to write down a list of all the reasons why you want this individual back. Also write down a list of why the relationship failed. Plainly you would expect the first list to be the long one!
Occasionally people break up and it's the wrong decision. We can all take our lives for granted and as we get older we occasionally wonder if we have missed out. These feelings could cause people to do silly things like walking out on their relationship. If being apart has shown you the error of your ways, then make contact with them and ask to meet up.
If you hurt your ex, you must be prepared to take things really slowly and at their pace. They're unlikely to fall in your arms declaring undying love if you've hurt them badly. If they do, you must still carry on with caution as any lingering problems need to be resolved.
Be aware that regardless how much you miss the other person, there was a reason why you broke up and that needs to be dealt with to prevent it causing fresh troubles. There are a few things that just can't be overcome no matter how much we love the other individual. The idea that love conquers everything belongs in Hollywood not in real life.
If, for instance, you broke up because your partner wants kids and you do not then it's unfair to get back together unless you have changed your mind. Denying another person the chance of having kids causes the type of pressure that very few if any relationships can endure. The resentment will in all likelihood kill the love you shared.
If you have issues that can be resolved with some mutual work, then go for it. Life is too short to waste time in regrets. Occasionally it's not always the easy way forward to try to win back lost love but frequently it's the best step you could ever take.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
What To Do When Your Ex Has Just Broken Up With You
We all panic when we break up and when your ex has just broken up with you, you're likely to feel hurt, angry and maybe a little bewildered.
So what could you do? It actually depends on whether you want this man or not. If you do not want him in your life, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and then look forward to having fun being single. Do not waste time trying to get revenge on this man as you'll only wind up hurting yourself.
But if you truly want this man in your life and maybe feel your behavior has contributed to the break up, there are a couple of things you are able to do.
Your first one is to let him know how you feel. Write him a letter, apologizing for any bad behavior and reminding him of the good times you shared together. Do not be scared to tell him how much he means to you and how much you miss him.
Assuming you get a positive response to your letter, agree to meet him but do so in a public place. This will help prevent your discussions turning into a large argument. You will need to be prepared to tell your man how you feel. Do not hide your feelings. If you're angry tell him how come but try not to turn the meeting into a blame fest.
This won't help you in convincing him that you are good together. Keep the conversation to facts and also use the word I and not you. For instance you should say "I feel let down" rather than "you let me down". This is a good deal less confrontational and less likely to cause offense or lead to another argument.
Allow him to criticize you also. It's best if this is done in a constructive way. We all have our faults and some of your less attractive character traits might be, in part, to blame for why he broke up with you.
It's really important that you listen to what he says. Do not assume you know what he's trying to say. Encourage him to say what is on his mind as this is the chance for you both to work through any issues in your relationship and come out of this a stronger couple. He might have made the decision to break up, but your behavior in all likelihood contributed to his decision.
Don't play games and do not feel that you have to hold something back in order to make him come back to you. This will only cause feelings of resentment which might lead to you breaking up once again. Do not look on a breakup as a negative. All couples go through good and bad patches. It's a normal feature of adult relationships.
Follow these tips and one day as a happy couple, you might actually be thankful that for the day you found out that your ex has just broken up with you.
So what could you do? It actually depends on whether you want this man or not. If you do not want him in your life, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and then look forward to having fun being single. Do not waste time trying to get revenge on this man as you'll only wind up hurting yourself.
But if you truly want this man in your life and maybe feel your behavior has contributed to the break up, there are a couple of things you are able to do.
Your first one is to let him know how you feel. Write him a letter, apologizing for any bad behavior and reminding him of the good times you shared together. Do not be scared to tell him how much he means to you and how much you miss him.
Assuming you get a positive response to your letter, agree to meet him but do so in a public place. This will help prevent your discussions turning into a large argument. You will need to be prepared to tell your man how you feel. Do not hide your feelings. If you're angry tell him how come but try not to turn the meeting into a blame fest.
This won't help you in convincing him that you are good together. Keep the conversation to facts and also use the word I and not you. For instance you should say "I feel let down" rather than "you let me down". This is a good deal less confrontational and less likely to cause offense or lead to another argument.
Allow him to criticize you also. It's best if this is done in a constructive way. We all have our faults and some of your less attractive character traits might be, in part, to blame for why he broke up with you.
It's really important that you listen to what he says. Do not assume you know what he's trying to say. Encourage him to say what is on his mind as this is the chance for you both to work through any issues in your relationship and come out of this a stronger couple. He might have made the decision to break up, but your behavior in all likelihood contributed to his decision.
Don't play games and do not feel that you have to hold something back in order to make him come back to you. This will only cause feelings of resentment which might lead to you breaking up once again. Do not look on a breakup as a negative. All couples go through good and bad patches. It's a normal feature of adult relationships.
Follow these tips and one day as a happy couple, you might actually be thankful that for the day you found out that your ex has just broken up with you.
How To Get A Guy Back After A Breakup
Are you certain that you want to get your guy back after a breakup? It could be difficult to know precisely how you feel in the days following the breakdown of your relationship. Feelings of loneliness and wounded pride could be confused with real love. It's always a good idea to try and analyze your relationship and why it failed. If the reason is that long term you're not compatible then do yourself a favor and move onto the next guy. You and your ex deserve to be happy but this doesn't necessarily mean that will be as a couple.
But if you're truly pining for him try these tips:
1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He will not find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.
2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there's no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now isn't the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Do not change your image. He fell for you the way you're so now isn't the time to change.
3) Try to ascertain why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologize and do this properly. Men have feelings also although they typically manage to hide them better than women.
4) Did you play too many games? I do not know what it's about us women but for some reason we occasionally treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach does not work in most cases and men, like all human beings, don't like being played. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not really good at reading signs and subtle hints.
If you do get back together, make certain that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up to begin with. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you're looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas. While sexual attraction is tremendous and in my view a essential part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once more with the question of how to get a guy back after a break up.
But if you're truly pining for him try these tips:
1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He will not find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.
2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there's no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now isn't the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Do not change your image. He fell for you the way you're so now isn't the time to change.
3) Try to ascertain why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologize and do this properly. Men have feelings also although they typically manage to hide them better than women.
4) Did you play too many games? I do not know what it's about us women but for some reason we occasionally treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach does not work in most cases and men, like all human beings, don't like being played. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not really good at reading signs and subtle hints.
If you do get back together, make certain that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up to begin with. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you're looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas. While sexual attraction is tremendous and in my view a essential part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once more with the question of how to get a guy back after a break up.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together
If you're reading this, you are apparently looking to convince your ex boyfriend to get back together. But the question you should be asking yourself is why? Do you truly want this individual back or are you just feeling lonely and frightened of being single.
Being single could be good fun but it's a different lifestyle from that of a couple. You do not have to please anyone else which could be liberating but being on your own again could also be scary. You might feel that you will never meet Mr Right and that time is passing you by.
But never get back with your ex boyfriend just since you are scared of being on your own. He might be your ex but the next guy on the block might be the ONE. If you split for silly reasons such as game playing or a temper tantrum and you want this guy back then it's best to try and apologize for your behavior.
If he chose to break up with you, he might have got cold feet. Guys do not always want to admit that they prefer spending time with one lady instead of playing the field. Examine your relationship and see if this may be the case with your guy.
Signs to look out for include the way he treated you. If he generally behaved like a gentleman then there is a good chance he's regretting the break up. Another good sign is if he introduced you to his family, particularly his mother. Men do not tend to bring home their girlfriends unless they're pretty serious about her and sees a future together.
So when trying to convince your ex boyfriend to come home, you need to try to see the relationship from your partners point of view. Being able to see each other's view gives you a better chance of resolving your differences. You will both need the freedom to express your feelings even if these are possibly hurtful for the other person to hear.
So long as both parties do not use this chance as a means of hurting one another, you stand a good chance of working through the issues. Knowing how to criticize and accept criticism is a good beginning point for any relationship.
You both need to be assertive and decide what it is that you want out of this relationship. Knowing where you stand means that you can both move forward with your lives even if it means that you do break up. Hopefully you will choose that you would like to be together and are more committed to resolving your differences.
If you do feel angry then let it show. Just make sure that when you show your anger you do not reject your partner at the same time. You're trying to help him realize that you belong together and not apart.
Following these tips might help to convince your ex-boyfriend to get back together. Good luck.
Being single could be good fun but it's a different lifestyle from that of a couple. You do not have to please anyone else which could be liberating but being on your own again could also be scary. You might feel that you will never meet Mr Right and that time is passing you by.
But never get back with your ex boyfriend just since you are scared of being on your own. He might be your ex but the next guy on the block might be the ONE. If you split for silly reasons such as game playing or a temper tantrum and you want this guy back then it's best to try and apologize for your behavior.
If he chose to break up with you, he might have got cold feet. Guys do not always want to admit that they prefer spending time with one lady instead of playing the field. Examine your relationship and see if this may be the case with your guy.
Signs to look out for include the way he treated you. If he generally behaved like a gentleman then there is a good chance he's regretting the break up. Another good sign is if he introduced you to his family, particularly his mother. Men do not tend to bring home their girlfriends unless they're pretty serious about her and sees a future together.
So when trying to convince your ex boyfriend to come home, you need to try to see the relationship from your partners point of view. Being able to see each other's view gives you a better chance of resolving your differences. You will both need the freedom to express your feelings even if these are possibly hurtful for the other person to hear.
So long as both parties do not use this chance as a means of hurting one another, you stand a good chance of working through the issues. Knowing how to criticize and accept criticism is a good beginning point for any relationship.
You both need to be assertive and decide what it is that you want out of this relationship. Knowing where you stand means that you can both move forward with your lives even if it means that you do break up. Hopefully you will choose that you would like to be together and are more committed to resolving your differences.
If you do feel angry then let it show. Just make sure that when you show your anger you do not reject your partner at the same time. You're trying to help him realize that you belong together and not apart.
Following these tips might help to convince your ex-boyfriend to get back together. Good luck.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me
Do you care? Asking yourself the question does my ex want to get back with me is the wrong way forward. The real question is do you want your ex back? If the answer to that is yes, then you can start worrying about what your previous partner wants.
A lot of people never understand why their relationship ended. I find it amazing that many people going through a divorce are unable to explain why they are ending their marriage, especially when there are children involved.
It takes two to break up a relationship despite the fact that it is very easy to blame the other person. Even when someone else has an affair, it isn't always 100% their fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning anyone being unfaithful but sometimes people are pushed into things. If you take your man or woman for granted and forget to pay them any attention, they may end up looking somewhere else. Some people will have affairs just because they can get away with it. These people do not belong in a monogamous relationship. But sometimes, a relationship is worth saving and the affair, whilst hurtful, can eventually strengthen the bonds between the couple.
Examining why a couple broke up will help both parties understand the issues in their relationship. It will highlight those areas that require work. All partnerships involve work and commitment. Men and women often appear to live on different planets never mind speak other languages. My husband once said to my Dad that he didn’t understand me. My dads’ reply: that is where you are going wrong son you Never try to understand a woman!
Whilst it is the sexual attraction that initially attracts men and women, it is their compatibility that will keep them together long after the sexual flame resembles a candle as opposed to a flame thrower. So before you start wondering how your ex partner is feeling, you need to be certain of your own wants and desires. Are you sure that this person is right for you? Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with them? Do you want the same things out of life i.e. kids, traveling, similar standard of living etc? Do you share the same ideals and views about how to live your life?
It is very important to first establish if you would like to try again. Knowing what you want will help you to work out what your ex wants. Despite what Hollywood and other entertainment providers would have you believe, men want stable happy relationships just as much as women. Generally the male is not as good as vocalizing what he wants and can finish a relationship rather than have to deal with a bad patch.
So instead of wasting time trying to answer does my ex want to get back with me, why not invite him round for coffee and see what happens.
A lot of people never understand why their relationship ended. I find it amazing that many people going through a divorce are unable to explain why they are ending their marriage, especially when there are children involved.
It takes two to break up a relationship despite the fact that it is very easy to blame the other person. Even when someone else has an affair, it isn't always 100% their fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning anyone being unfaithful but sometimes people are pushed into things. If you take your man or woman for granted and forget to pay them any attention, they may end up looking somewhere else. Some people will have affairs just because they can get away with it. These people do not belong in a monogamous relationship. But sometimes, a relationship is worth saving and the affair, whilst hurtful, can eventually strengthen the bonds between the couple.
Examining why a couple broke up will help both parties understand the issues in their relationship. It will highlight those areas that require work. All partnerships involve work and commitment. Men and women often appear to live on different planets never mind speak other languages. My husband once said to my Dad that he didn’t understand me. My dads’ reply: that is where you are going wrong son you Never try to understand a woman!
Whilst it is the sexual attraction that initially attracts men and women, it is their compatibility that will keep them together long after the sexual flame resembles a candle as opposed to a flame thrower. So before you start wondering how your ex partner is feeling, you need to be certain of your own wants and desires. Are you sure that this person is right for you? Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with them? Do you want the same things out of life i.e. kids, traveling, similar standard of living etc? Do you share the same ideals and views about how to live your life?
It is very important to first establish if you would like to try again. Knowing what you want will help you to work out what your ex wants. Despite what Hollywood and other entertainment providers would have you believe, men want stable happy relationships just as much as women. Generally the male is not as good as vocalizing what he wants and can finish a relationship rather than have to deal with a bad patch.
So instead of wasting time trying to answer does my ex want to get back with me, why not invite him round for coffee and see what happens.
Are You Sure You Want Your Ex Back
So the relationship is over but now you've determined that you want your ex back. Are your sure it's your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you're missing and not just having somebody special in your life? This is particularly important if you were the one who chose to break up.
Most relationships go through a bad patch at some point. Some of the best marriages have survived problems that would have torn apart less sturdy partnerships. Relationships are all about give and take. That does not mean that one person gives and the other takes! Men and women are really different and we need to learn to live with each other.
Deciding you would like to share your life with somebody is a big commitment. The sexual attraction between a couple, particularly in the early stages, could frequently cloud their judgment and it's surprising how many people enter into long term relationships without having agreed the basics. Little things like where you would like to live and whether you would like to have kids are frequently forgotten in the excitement of being together.
Men and women fall out for all kinds of reasons. At times of financial and family stress, we frequently pick on those nearest to us. When you care for another individual and know them intimately you have the power to truly hurt that person. If we ourselves are hurting, we frequently turn that hurt and anger onto the other person.
It's important to understand why you broke up to begin with. If you ended the relationship because one of you wanted kids and the other did not, then you will find that this in all likelihood has not changed. You might get back together but in the long run will break up again if this issue isn't resolved. Forcing somebody into a large life commitment like having a kid against their will doesn't typically result in a long term happy relationship. If you have very different viewpoints on these life issues, you should stay apart and find somebody more compatible to fall in love with.
If, on the other hand, you break up because of jealousy or some other petty incident then your relationship might be worth saving. If you truly miss your previous partner and know that you would like to share your life with them, then you must do everything in your power to get back with your ex.
Contact your partner and let him/her know that you would like to meet up to talk about the future. Don't get involved in a dissection of what went wrong before. It's too easy to put the blame on the other person. Alternatively agree that there were problems but that you would like to rekindle the relationship. If you want your ex back and your relationship was serious then you may want to propose counselling. It's often helpful to have an impartial person listen to your discussions. You're less likely to lose your temper, storm out and find yourself suddenly single again.
Most relationships go through a bad patch at some point. Some of the best marriages have survived problems that would have torn apart less sturdy partnerships. Relationships are all about give and take. That does not mean that one person gives and the other takes! Men and women are really different and we need to learn to live with each other.
Deciding you would like to share your life with somebody is a big commitment. The sexual attraction between a couple, particularly in the early stages, could frequently cloud their judgment and it's surprising how many people enter into long term relationships without having agreed the basics. Little things like where you would like to live and whether you would like to have kids are frequently forgotten in the excitement of being together.
Men and women fall out for all kinds of reasons. At times of financial and family stress, we frequently pick on those nearest to us. When you care for another individual and know them intimately you have the power to truly hurt that person. If we ourselves are hurting, we frequently turn that hurt and anger onto the other person.
It's important to understand why you broke up to begin with. If you ended the relationship because one of you wanted kids and the other did not, then you will find that this in all likelihood has not changed. You might get back together but in the long run will break up again if this issue isn't resolved. Forcing somebody into a large life commitment like having a kid against their will doesn't typically result in a long term happy relationship. If you have very different viewpoints on these life issues, you should stay apart and find somebody more compatible to fall in love with.
If, on the other hand, you break up because of jealousy or some other petty incident then your relationship might be worth saving. If you truly miss your previous partner and know that you would like to share your life with them, then you must do everything in your power to get back with your ex.
Contact your partner and let him/her know that you would like to meet up to talk about the future. Don't get involved in a dissection of what went wrong before. It's too easy to put the blame on the other person. Alternatively agree that there were problems but that you would like to rekindle the relationship. If you want your ex back and your relationship was serious then you may want to propose counselling. It's often helpful to have an impartial person listen to your discussions. You're less likely to lose your temper, storm out and find yourself suddenly single again.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back You Can You Know
Do you lie awake at night asking yourself over and over "how to get my ex boyfriend back"? Maybe you broke up over something relatively foolish and now recognize that he was the love of your life.
Did he break up with you? Or did you finish the relationship but now regret it? If you were together for a while, it's easy to take a good relationship for granted. We often do not recognize what we have until it's gone.
If you're the only one of your friends in a long term relationship, you might have felt that you were missing out on the fun times and so wanted to be single. Or perhaps the sexual side of your relationship had cooled off and you felt a greater attraction to the cute bartender at your local club.
It's difficult to keep the romance going in a relationship and frequently we forget what first attracted us to the men in our lives. There is also the factor that somebody elses life is always more fascinating. Why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side? You should never forget that appearances are deceptive and your beautiful next door neighbor's smile may be hiding a nightmare existence.
So now you have realized that the cute single guy is on his own for a reason and you want your ex boyfriend back. You are going to have to work hard to gain his trust again. After all, you in all likelihood hurt him quite badly by dumping him especially if there was no real reason why other than you were bored.
Call him and ask him out to dinner. Wear his favorite clothes and perfume. In brief, make a big effort to remind him why he fell for you. Apologize for your behavior. Blame your hormones, your job, stress or your boss but don't put any of the blame on him. This isn't the time to list out all the reasons why you were bored or fed up. You would like to build his self esteem not destroy him.
Ask for a second chance. Remind him of all the good times you enjoyed together. Tell him that your time apart has made you realize that he's the only man you are interested in. Unless you know he wants marriage and children, do not go too heavy on this tactic. Keep it light. Stroke his ego by letting him know how much you want him. Reassure him that you are 100% sure that this is what you want.
You've to be prepared to hear some home truths on what he thinks of your conduct. He will need answers to his questions and will in all likelihood need to let off some steam. Don't retaliate or get involved in trading insults. Listen to what he has to say!
After all if you would like to know the answer to how to get my ex boyfriend back, you might just have to ask him.
Did he break up with you? Or did you finish the relationship but now regret it? If you were together for a while, it's easy to take a good relationship for granted. We often do not recognize what we have until it's gone.
If you're the only one of your friends in a long term relationship, you might have felt that you were missing out on the fun times and so wanted to be single. Or perhaps the sexual side of your relationship had cooled off and you felt a greater attraction to the cute bartender at your local club.
It's difficult to keep the romance going in a relationship and frequently we forget what first attracted us to the men in our lives. There is also the factor that somebody elses life is always more fascinating. Why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side? You should never forget that appearances are deceptive and your beautiful next door neighbor's smile may be hiding a nightmare existence.
So now you have realized that the cute single guy is on his own for a reason and you want your ex boyfriend back. You are going to have to work hard to gain his trust again. After all, you in all likelihood hurt him quite badly by dumping him especially if there was no real reason why other than you were bored.
Call him and ask him out to dinner. Wear his favorite clothes and perfume. In brief, make a big effort to remind him why he fell for you. Apologize for your behavior. Blame your hormones, your job, stress or your boss but don't put any of the blame on him. This isn't the time to list out all the reasons why you were bored or fed up. You would like to build his self esteem not destroy him.
Ask for a second chance. Remind him of all the good times you enjoyed together. Tell him that your time apart has made you realize that he's the only man you are interested in. Unless you know he wants marriage and children, do not go too heavy on this tactic. Keep it light. Stroke his ego by letting him know how much you want him. Reassure him that you are 100% sure that this is what you want.
You've to be prepared to hear some home truths on what he thinks of your conduct. He will need answers to his questions and will in all likelihood need to let off some steam. Don't retaliate or get involved in trading insults. Listen to what he has to say!
After all if you would like to know the answer to how to get my ex boyfriend back, you might just have to ask him.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
How Do I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend
This is the question my husband’s brother asked me the other day. Why did you break up was my response when truly what I wanted to ask was how could you be such a donut to dump her?
He looked a little sheepish and told me that he had met this girl at work and she smiled at him. Apparently she's young, very pretty and looks rather like she belongs in Baywatch. So he, being a macho-man type, decided that he had to dump his lovely girlfriend to date this beach babe. Needless to say, he before long discovered that she had been smiling at his mate and looked on him like he was something on her shoe.
Well he deserved that but I believe he had ditched his girlfriend for a less obvious reason. He loves her and was scared of making a commitment to her. He had began thinking about settling down and having children and nobody had made him feel this way before. But he was worried that being a career girl, this wasn't the future she had planned.
Regrettably he's not really good at expressing his feelings so determined that it was better to end the relationship instead of try to find out if his partner shared his vision of the future. Doh!
Honestly, how can somebody so intelligent on a professional level be so emotionally backward. Anyway his ex partner is a lovely lady who, God love her, adores him so I knew that getting back with his ex girlfriend was possible. It was also a good idea as despite his obvious faults, they make a good couple and he does love her.
So I told him to write her a letter. He decided an e-mail would do but I insisted it had to be a letter. A hand written letter is such an old fashioned way of courting somebody that it almost always assures a positive response. So off he went to purchase some paper and a pen and as I thought complete the task at hand.
Then he was back. “But what do I write?” He asked. Seriously he would have let me write the whole thing for him. So I told him to tell her how he felt. An MBA from Harvard and he's looking at me like I advised him to pull out his finger nails. I said “Tell her you love her and that you're really sorry for the way you behaved and that you would like to take her out this Saturday to her favourite restaurant”.
Believe me that this approach works much better than a text, a bunch of roses and a takeaway. Thankfully his partner knows him well and saw the funny side, and my brother in law is no longer asking "how to get back together with my ex girlfriend".
His new question is what to say to his future father in law when he pops the question but I will leave my husband to deal with that one!
He looked a little sheepish and told me that he had met this girl at work and she smiled at him. Apparently she's young, very pretty and looks rather like she belongs in Baywatch. So he, being a macho-man type, decided that he had to dump his lovely girlfriend to date this beach babe. Needless to say, he before long discovered that she had been smiling at his mate and looked on him like he was something on her shoe.
Well he deserved that but I believe he had ditched his girlfriend for a less obvious reason. He loves her and was scared of making a commitment to her. He had began thinking about settling down and having children and nobody had made him feel this way before. But he was worried that being a career girl, this wasn't the future she had planned.
Regrettably he's not really good at expressing his feelings so determined that it was better to end the relationship instead of try to find out if his partner shared his vision of the future. Doh!
Honestly, how can somebody so intelligent on a professional level be so emotionally backward. Anyway his ex partner is a lovely lady who, God love her, adores him so I knew that getting back with his ex girlfriend was possible. It was also a good idea as despite his obvious faults, they make a good couple and he does love her.
So I told him to write her a letter. He decided an e-mail would do but I insisted it had to be a letter. A hand written letter is such an old fashioned way of courting somebody that it almost always assures a positive response. So off he went to purchase some paper and a pen and as I thought complete the task at hand.
Then he was back. “But what do I write?” He asked. Seriously he would have let me write the whole thing for him. So I told him to tell her how he felt. An MBA from Harvard and he's looking at me like I advised him to pull out his finger nails. I said “Tell her you love her and that you're really sorry for the way you behaved and that you would like to take her out this Saturday to her favourite restaurant”.
Believe me that this approach works much better than a text, a bunch of roses and a takeaway. Thankfully his partner knows him well and saw the funny side, and my brother in law is no longer asking "how to get back together with my ex girlfriend".
His new question is what to say to his future father in law when he pops the question but I will leave my husband to deal with that one!
Monday, August 10, 2009
How To Go Get An Ex Back The Right Way
How to go get an ex back is a fairly common question but one that should be relatively easy to answer. If you were to blame for the breakup then you should apologize. We should always treat other people as we would like to be treated but occasionally we could treat our neighbors better than our partners. Having somebody special in our lives can mean that we take them for granted and expect them to put up with our black moods, PMS or other human failings.
So say you're sorry and mean it. Do not just say it to get your ex back but mean it regardless of what the future holds for you. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss what failed and see if you do have a future together. You should agree some basic ground rules or else you run the risk of it turning into a blame fest.
The first rule is that both of you should be there because you want to be not because you are being emotionally blackmailed. This is especially true if you have children together as one partner could frequently put pressure on the other to stick together for the sake of the kids. Believe me, most kids would rather to have two different families than to witness two people tearing one another apart.
The second rule should be that you're not getting together to have an argument - if either party gets abusive then the meeting is over. You're there to have a discussion about your relationship and see if you would both like to take it forward. It might be helpful to set a time limit for each person to talk about how they're feeling. When they are talking the other person should be listening.
This is a time for you both to express what you like about one another and what parts of your life together could do with a little work. Maybe you never get to spend time alone together so an idea might be that you have a date night once a week or two weeks. This is a night where it's just the two of you and all talk of children, mortgage, debts etc is banned. This would be your time as a couple to try to relight the forces of attraction that brought you together to begin with.
You will in all likelihood find that both of you are finding the same issues hard. You both in all likelihood miss spending quality time together and you might both be under financial and emotional pressure. Occasionally life gets in the way and we frequently expect our partners to become mind readers and be able to see a problem without us saying anything. We do not tend to make time in our lives to really talk to our spouse. It's never too late to begin.
Now when you're asked how to go get an ex back, you will be able to say that communication and quality time together are the keys to lifelong happiness.
So say you're sorry and mean it. Do not just say it to get your ex back but mean it regardless of what the future holds for you. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss what failed and see if you do have a future together. You should agree some basic ground rules or else you run the risk of it turning into a blame fest.
The first rule is that both of you should be there because you want to be not because you are being emotionally blackmailed. This is especially true if you have children together as one partner could frequently put pressure on the other to stick together for the sake of the kids. Believe me, most kids would rather to have two different families than to witness two people tearing one another apart.
The second rule should be that you're not getting together to have an argument - if either party gets abusive then the meeting is over. You're there to have a discussion about your relationship and see if you would both like to take it forward. It might be helpful to set a time limit for each person to talk about how they're feeling. When they are talking the other person should be listening.
This is a time for you both to express what you like about one another and what parts of your life together could do with a little work. Maybe you never get to spend time alone together so an idea might be that you have a date night once a week or two weeks. This is a night where it's just the two of you and all talk of children, mortgage, debts etc is banned. This would be your time as a couple to try to relight the forces of attraction that brought you together to begin with.
You will in all likelihood find that both of you are finding the same issues hard. You both in all likelihood miss spending quality time together and you might both be under financial and emotional pressure. Occasionally life gets in the way and we frequently expect our partners to become mind readers and be able to see a problem without us saying anything. We do not tend to make time in our lives to really talk to our spouse. It's never too late to begin.
Now when you're asked how to go get an ex back, you will be able to say that communication and quality time together are the keys to lifelong happiness.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Get Back At Your Ex Why Would You Bother
Many people, women particularly it has to be said, appear to spend hours thinking of ways to answer the question of how to get back at your ex? My view on this is why bother? The only person you'll wind up hurting is yourself. Anger and regret are negative emotions and don't have any long term value to add to your life.
Couples split up for all kinds of reasons but I firmly believe that it takes 2 to tango. Yes, he might have had an affair or she might have a drink problem but at the end of the day it's typically too simple to lay the blame for the break up at one person's feet.
But when a relationship ends it should be final unless both of you decide that you wish to get back together. Otherwise, move on. Do not waste your time or energy trying to dream up ways to destroy his life or pick fights with her new man.
Every man or woman over the age of 21 has been dumped at some point in their lives. If they say they have not, they're in all likelihood lying. Breaking up could be extremely painful - you only have to see how many movies and songs are written on the subject. Even classic books involve painful relationships - have you read Jane Eyre lately?
Relationships of all types make the world go round and it would be a really boring place if we were happy always. Stories such as Cinderella and sleeping Beauty end when the couple kiss and we all believe they'll live happily ever after. Cinderella and Beauty have found their Mr Right, but what they do not know is that his first name is always!
Life is too short to live it out with a grudge against somebody else. The only person that will suffer will be you and those that love you. Your ex will be long gone - do you truly think that they give you more than a fleeting thought. They did not care enough about you to stay together so why would they care now?
There are plenty of loveable people for you to date and perhaps fall in love with. But you will never find a fulfilling new relationship if your life is consumed by hatred for somebody else. Being on your own for the first time in a while could be hard but it may also be liberating. Think positively - you now have the chance to do all the things you wanted to do but your partner was not interested in.
Make a list of twenty things you have to be thankful for and read this nightly before you fall asleep. Add five things to your list daily and you will shortly find yourself enjoying life so much that you will not have time to worry about how to get back at your ex. It will be more like ex who?
Couples split up for all kinds of reasons but I firmly believe that it takes 2 to tango. Yes, he might have had an affair or she might have a drink problem but at the end of the day it's typically too simple to lay the blame for the break up at one person's feet.
But when a relationship ends it should be final unless both of you decide that you wish to get back together. Otherwise, move on. Do not waste your time or energy trying to dream up ways to destroy his life or pick fights with her new man.
Every man or woman over the age of 21 has been dumped at some point in their lives. If they say they have not, they're in all likelihood lying. Breaking up could be extremely painful - you only have to see how many movies and songs are written on the subject. Even classic books involve painful relationships - have you read Jane Eyre lately?
Relationships of all types make the world go round and it would be a really boring place if we were happy always. Stories such as Cinderella and sleeping Beauty end when the couple kiss and we all believe they'll live happily ever after. Cinderella and Beauty have found their Mr Right, but what they do not know is that his first name is always!
Life is too short to live it out with a grudge against somebody else. The only person that will suffer will be you and those that love you. Your ex will be long gone - do you truly think that they give you more than a fleeting thought. They did not care enough about you to stay together so why would they care now?
There are plenty of loveable people for you to date and perhaps fall in love with. But you will never find a fulfilling new relationship if your life is consumed by hatred for somebody else. Being on your own for the first time in a while could be hard but it may also be liberating. Think positively - you now have the chance to do all the things you wanted to do but your partner was not interested in.
Make a list of twenty things you have to be thankful for and read this nightly before you fall asleep. Add five things to your list daily and you will shortly find yourself enjoying life so much that you will not have time to worry about how to get back at your ex. It will be more like ex who?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
How To Keep A Woman Happy
So you want to know how to keep a woman happy? It is not easy to do but once you master it, you will win the heart of your woman forever. So it is worth a try right?
A Woman sometimes just needs to talk. Men are programmed to find solutions to every problem but sometimes we just want you to listen to us. We don't want you to look after us or solve every issue we raise but just to listen.
Yes I know she can spend two hours on the phone to a friend that she is meeting that afternoon anyway. It goes back to the days of cavemen. Whilst the men were out hunting, the women were at home where their ability to bond with others was directly proportionate to their chances of survival. They depended on the other women to look after them and their families should they fall sick. Childbirth in those days often resulted in a death sentence for these women.
Women like to go to the toilets in twos and threes. It is just a girl thing and the sooner you come to accept it the better. Don't get paranoid, we are not going to discuss you in detail - that will happen tomorrow.
Buy your lady flowers. But rather than buying her a bunch of roses, send her one of her favorite flowers every so often. This way she will know that you are thinking of her rather than just making a grand gesture.
Little things mean a lot to most women. So regardless of the fact that you are working 60 plus hours per week to pay your mortgage or put the kids through school, always find time to ring her at least twice a day. Ring to say that you miss her and then ring her back later on to tell her what time you expect to be home.
Say thank you when she does something ordinary. Everyone including women like to be appreciated so if you come home and it is obvious she has cleaned the bathroom, notice it and make an effort to keep it clean. That means helping your towel to find its way off the bathroom floor.
If your woman has had a hard day at the office, run her a hot bath and hand her a glass of chilled wine whilst you put the kids to bed and prepare dinner. Don’t ruin it by expecting sexual favors in return. In a recent survey, when women were asked what would make them happy, one of the most common answers was to be kissed without being groped!
Surprise her with a note under her pillow telling her how much you love her or appreciate her. Ok she will probably assume you have done something wrong and wonder if you are feeling guilty but underneath she will be pleased.
Making a woman happy involves doing the little things in life just that little bit more.
A Woman sometimes just needs to talk. Men are programmed to find solutions to every problem but sometimes we just want you to listen to us. We don't want you to look after us or solve every issue we raise but just to listen.
Yes I know she can spend two hours on the phone to a friend that she is meeting that afternoon anyway. It goes back to the days of cavemen. Whilst the men were out hunting, the women were at home where their ability to bond with others was directly proportionate to their chances of survival. They depended on the other women to look after them and their families should they fall sick. Childbirth in those days often resulted in a death sentence for these women.
Women like to go to the toilets in twos and threes. It is just a girl thing and the sooner you come to accept it the better. Don't get paranoid, we are not going to discuss you in detail - that will happen tomorrow.
Buy your lady flowers. But rather than buying her a bunch of roses, send her one of her favorite flowers every so often. This way she will know that you are thinking of her rather than just making a grand gesture.
Little things mean a lot to most women. So regardless of the fact that you are working 60 plus hours per week to pay your mortgage or put the kids through school, always find time to ring her at least twice a day. Ring to say that you miss her and then ring her back later on to tell her what time you expect to be home.
Say thank you when she does something ordinary. Everyone including women like to be appreciated so if you come home and it is obvious she has cleaned the bathroom, notice it and make an effort to keep it clean. That means helping your towel to find its way off the bathroom floor.
If your woman has had a hard day at the office, run her a hot bath and hand her a glass of chilled wine whilst you put the kids to bed and prepare dinner. Don’t ruin it by expecting sexual favors in return. In a recent survey, when women were asked what would make them happy, one of the most common answers was to be kissed without being groped!
Surprise her with a note under her pillow telling her how much you love her or appreciate her. Ok she will probably assume you have done something wrong and wonder if you are feeling guilty but underneath she will be pleased.
Making a woman happy involves doing the little things in life just that little bit more.
Should I Get Back Together With My Ex Boyfriend
If you read any agony aunt columns you'll frequently see a letter titled "should I get back together with my ex boyfriend". The answer is always; "It depends!".
It hinges upon your age, how long you were together, why you broke up and ultimately what both of you want.
What does age have to do with it? A few people met their first love in their early teens and become convinced that this is the only person in the world that matters. For a few it works out really well and years later they're celebrating their Golden Jubilee. But for most of us, our passionate youthful infatuations are not real love and we go on to meet our true soul mates. So if you're really young and have just split up with your first boyfriend, you should probably try dating other boys first to see whether Mr Ex is in fact Mr Right as opposed to Mr Right now. If you have dated a load of men and this man is your ideal mate, then you should make every effort to get back together with him.
How long you were together will also play a part in whether you should make up or not. A couple who have been together a few weeks don't know one another that well despite what they might think. The sexual attraction between couples in the early stages of a romance could often blind you to the fact that your partner isn't a candidate for a lifelong happy relationship. Emotions run really high in the early days and you may find yourself splitting up on a weekly basis. If this is the case, it's often a sign that there's no future for you at this point in time.
If you've been together for years, you might have split up because you've taken one another for granted. Couples drift apart as life gets in the way. You frequently find that you spend more quality time with your neighbors and friends than you do with your significant other. Illness, stress and financial worries can also play a part. If you have been together forever and have suddenly split up, then you should make every effort to sit down and discuss your relationship to see is it worth saving. Occasionally, sadly it isn't but at least you will know that you've made every effort.
Why you broke up will partially determine whether you should get back together or not. If you and you ex boyfriend have split because of a frivolous misunderstanding then you should try getting back together. It's pointless letting your pride stop you from saying sorry if you acted childishly. If on the other hand you have split up due to lies, deceit, fraud or an affair, the decision to get back together is a lot harder.
Ultimately it hinges upon what both of you want. You can't force somebody else to love you even if you do resort to emotional blackmail. Saying I want to get back together with my ex boyfriend is easily achievable if he also wants this to happen.
It hinges upon your age, how long you were together, why you broke up and ultimately what both of you want.
What does age have to do with it? A few people met their first love in their early teens and become convinced that this is the only person in the world that matters. For a few it works out really well and years later they're celebrating their Golden Jubilee. But for most of us, our passionate youthful infatuations are not real love and we go on to meet our true soul mates. So if you're really young and have just split up with your first boyfriend, you should probably try dating other boys first to see whether Mr Ex is in fact Mr Right as opposed to Mr Right now. If you have dated a load of men and this man is your ideal mate, then you should make every effort to get back together with him.
How long you were together will also play a part in whether you should make up or not. A couple who have been together a few weeks don't know one another that well despite what they might think. The sexual attraction between couples in the early stages of a romance could often blind you to the fact that your partner isn't a candidate for a lifelong happy relationship. Emotions run really high in the early days and you may find yourself splitting up on a weekly basis. If this is the case, it's often a sign that there's no future for you at this point in time.
If you've been together for years, you might have split up because you've taken one another for granted. Couples drift apart as life gets in the way. You frequently find that you spend more quality time with your neighbors and friends than you do with your significant other. Illness, stress and financial worries can also play a part. If you have been together forever and have suddenly split up, then you should make every effort to sit down and discuss your relationship to see is it worth saving. Occasionally, sadly it isn't but at least you will know that you've made every effort.
Why you broke up will partially determine whether you should get back together or not. If you and you ex boyfriend have split because of a frivolous misunderstanding then you should try getting back together. It's pointless letting your pride stop you from saying sorry if you acted childishly. If on the other hand you have split up due to lies, deceit, fraud or an affair, the decision to get back together is a lot harder.
Ultimately it hinges upon what both of you want. You can't force somebody else to love you even if you do resort to emotional blackmail. Saying I want to get back together with my ex boyfriend is easily achievable if he also wants this to happen.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back
How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back? Truthfully, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. A few men just do not know when they're onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the absurd.
My male friends have finished with girls for:
1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!
2) Her mother
3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.
Now alright I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there's the dreaded notion that a woman might turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women did not date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died off long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!
I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their spouses. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?
On the other side of the list, they could put the things that wind them up. All right she might nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she may stop. She might not want more than a snuggle every evening but 5 times a week does not mean that she isn't caring enough.
Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper might seem like a cold approach but it's a really practical way of seeing what a good relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the 2 lists and determine if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you're doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Occasionally we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness isn't a reason to get back together.
If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners don't grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?
Take a leaf out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you're not a complete disgrace, you will not have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.
My male friends have finished with girls for:
1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!
2) Her mother
3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.
Now alright I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there's the dreaded notion that a woman might turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women did not date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died off long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!
I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their spouses. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?
On the other side of the list, they could put the things that wind them up. All right she might nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she may stop. She might not want more than a snuggle every evening but 5 times a week does not mean that she isn't caring enough.
Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper might seem like a cold approach but it's a really practical way of seeing what a good relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the 2 lists and determine if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you're doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Occasionally we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness isn't a reason to get back together.
If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners don't grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?
Take a leaf out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you're not a complete disgrace, you will not have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Need Some Tips On Making Up With My Boyfriend
When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me.
Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you also.
1) Men do not like chit chat: typically speaking men do not like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you're trying to get back together, do not force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved poorly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.
2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at one time. This is very true so do not try and fight it. Very few men can multitask and it's their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man can't listen to you while reading his paper or watching television the better. Most of the time, he's not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he's programmed the less arguments you will have.
3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and begin DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which could cause troubles at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, reasonably. You are able to spend time with your girlfriends while he's fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will in all likelihood be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.
4) do not assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men generally tend to be a little slow in picking up signals particularly about relationships. For this reason, you occasionally need to be really direct and tell them precisely how you feel. Men do not like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more frequently than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a bit baffled.
5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Typically men find it really difficult to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you're implying they have done something wrong. This could cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving other people directions.
I'm not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.
Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you also.
1) Men do not like chit chat: typically speaking men do not like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you're trying to get back together, do not force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved poorly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.
2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at one time. This is very true so do not try and fight it. Very few men can multitask and it's their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man can't listen to you while reading his paper or watching television the better. Most of the time, he's not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he's programmed the less arguments you will have.
3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and begin DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which could cause troubles at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, reasonably. You are able to spend time with your girlfriends while he's fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will in all likelihood be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.
4) do not assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men generally tend to be a little slow in picking up signals particularly about relationships. For this reason, you occasionally need to be really direct and tell them precisely how you feel. Men do not like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more frequently than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a bit baffled.
5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Typically men find it really difficult to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you're implying they have done something wrong. This could cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving other people directions.
I'm not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Win Your Love Back The Example Of Marie And Chris
You can win your love back. Let me give you an example.
Marie made a major error. She saw Chris talking to her best friend Julia and thought he was flirting with her. Marie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Chris.
It turns out that he was actually consulting Julia on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. He was truly hurt that Marie would think so little of him and did not want to have to do anything to do with her after that.
You might think that you can't win your love back after such a state of affairs. But let me tell you what Marie did to get Chris back.
Brad was not talking to her, so she could not talk about the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had blown a fuse. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his consideration in planning a romantic date.
Then, she shut up. She did not call, text or e-mail him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.
After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” e-mail. She kept it casual.
Chris was obviously nuts about Marie since he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day. But, he was also hurt. Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” e-mail.
The night he got the e-mail, he called Marie. She tried to keep things light and fun. Chris appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Marie agreed.
Marie went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Chris had given her for her birthday and she put on the fragrance that he liked so much.
Marie decided that she would only discuss positive things. She particularly tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.
Chris appreciated this. He loved Marie and did not want things to end. But, he did not want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together would not be filled with unnecessary drama. He also needed to know that talking to a different woman would not set off fireworks.
The couple agreed that they'd take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court one another once again. They would stop taking one another for granted.
A year later, Chris and Marie agreed that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long run. While Marie initially flipped her lid, her calm handling of the state of affairs afterwards made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.
Marie made a major error. She saw Chris talking to her best friend Julia and thought he was flirting with her. Marie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Chris.
It turns out that he was actually consulting Julia on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. He was truly hurt that Marie would think so little of him and did not want to have to do anything to do with her after that.
You might think that you can't win your love back after such a state of affairs. But let me tell you what Marie did to get Chris back.
Brad was not talking to her, so she could not talk about the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had blown a fuse. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his consideration in planning a romantic date.
Then, she shut up. She did not call, text or e-mail him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.
After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” e-mail. She kept it casual.
Chris was obviously nuts about Marie since he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day. But, he was also hurt. Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” e-mail.
The night he got the e-mail, he called Marie. She tried to keep things light and fun. Chris appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Marie agreed.
Marie went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Chris had given her for her birthday and she put on the fragrance that he liked so much.
Marie decided that she would only discuss positive things. She particularly tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.
Chris appreciated this. He loved Marie and did not want things to end. But, he did not want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together would not be filled with unnecessary drama. He also needed to know that talking to a different woman would not set off fireworks.
The couple agreed that they'd take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court one another once again. They would stop taking one another for granted.
A year later, Chris and Marie agreed that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long run. While Marie initially flipped her lid, her calm handling of the state of affairs afterwards made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Win Ex Boyfriend Back In 7 Easy Steps
Has your guy just dumped you? It truly hurts doesn’t it? Well, here’s how to win ex boyfriend back in 7 easy steps.
1. Do you truly want him back? O.K., this might appear like an odd step to go through, but it's very important. Your boyfriend might seem indispensible, but you will be capable to move on without him. If he is somebody worth keeping, read on. But if he’s just “any old guy” do not hang on for the sake of hanging on. As the old saying goes, “there are other fish in the sea.”
2. Think about how come you broke up. Think carefully about what he said when he dumped you. Also remember the things he said to you in the days right prior to you broke up. He might have indicated that you were too clingy or that you had let yourself go. If he wants you to change, you have to determine whether you would like to be the girlfriend he wants to have.
3. Do not bug him. Occasionally, girls think that they should call or text their ex a bunch of times hoping that showing how much they love their guy will get him back. Alternatively, you should give him some space. This will let both of you evaluate the relationship. If you're in school together, you do not need to go out of your way to avoid him, but do not chase him down either.
4. Do not manipulate him. You might be tempted to flirt with his friends, for example, in an attempt to make him jealous. More likely, it will just make him annoyed and put him off you. He might even think you're acting slutty. So, stay away from doing manipulative actions.
5. Play hard to get. Do not let him think that he can wiggle his little finger and you'll come rushing to his side. Let him squirm a little bit. Remember guys like the chase.
6. Do not send friends as emissaries. It is common for girls to send their girlfriends to “feel out” your ex. But this just annoys guys. If you're going to communicate something to him, do it yourself. Do not put him in the awkward position of having to explain his feelings to your friends.
7. Do not get worried about a new girlfriend. It is in all likelihood just a rebound relationship. It's not uncommon for a guy to hook up with a new girl right after he's broken up with you. But these rebound relationships seldom last. It's really possible that he will come back to you after he has some time to work things out. Meanwhile, become everything he wants in a girl. Get gorgeous. Be friendly. Be happy. These things will pry him away from the good time girl and back into your arms.
A lot of girls do not know how to win ex boyfriend back. They do it all wrong and end up pushing him away instead. When you follow the 7 steps in this article, you'll be able to come out a winner in the game of love.
1. Do you truly want him back? O.K., this might appear like an odd step to go through, but it's very important. Your boyfriend might seem indispensible, but you will be capable to move on without him. If he is somebody worth keeping, read on. But if he’s just “any old guy” do not hang on for the sake of hanging on. As the old saying goes, “there are other fish in the sea.”
2. Think about how come you broke up. Think carefully about what he said when he dumped you. Also remember the things he said to you in the days right prior to you broke up. He might have indicated that you were too clingy or that you had let yourself go. If he wants you to change, you have to determine whether you would like to be the girlfriend he wants to have.
3. Do not bug him. Occasionally, girls think that they should call or text their ex a bunch of times hoping that showing how much they love their guy will get him back. Alternatively, you should give him some space. This will let both of you evaluate the relationship. If you're in school together, you do not need to go out of your way to avoid him, but do not chase him down either.
4. Do not manipulate him. You might be tempted to flirt with his friends, for example, in an attempt to make him jealous. More likely, it will just make him annoyed and put him off you. He might even think you're acting slutty. So, stay away from doing manipulative actions.
5. Play hard to get. Do not let him think that he can wiggle his little finger and you'll come rushing to his side. Let him squirm a little bit. Remember guys like the chase.
6. Do not send friends as emissaries. It is common for girls to send their girlfriends to “feel out” your ex. But this just annoys guys. If you're going to communicate something to him, do it yourself. Do not put him in the awkward position of having to explain his feelings to your friends.
7. Do not get worried about a new girlfriend. It is in all likelihood just a rebound relationship. It's not uncommon for a guy to hook up with a new girl right after he's broken up with you. But these rebound relationships seldom last. It's really possible that he will come back to you after he has some time to work things out. Meanwhile, become everything he wants in a girl. Get gorgeous. Be friendly. Be happy. These things will pry him away from the good time girl and back into your arms.
A lot of girls do not know how to win ex boyfriend back. They do it all wrong and end up pushing him away instead. When you follow the 7 steps in this article, you'll be able to come out a winner in the game of love.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Dont Be A Dumped Boyfriend Who Does Everything Wrong
Sam was a dumped boyfriend. His girlfriend Keri had been unable to attend a party with him, but he wanted to go anyway. He ended up making out with some random girl and of course, one of Keri’s friends couldn’t wait to tell her the news.
Keri called Sam that night and told him that she never wanted to see him again. She called him a number of unprintable names as well.
Of course, Sam felt bad about the whole situation. He knew he had a lapse of judgment, but didn’t think that one evening of bad behavior should end a good relationship.
So, Sam jumped right in and tried to win Keri back. But, as we will see, he did everything wrong.
First of all, when Keri called, he groveled. Rather than apologizing and moving forward, he begged Keri to take him back. She, of course, was in no mood to do so. She was justifiably angry.
Then, he compounded the problem by pursuing her aggressively in the next few days. She got more than a hundred texts from him in 6 days. He called at least 3 times a day including once at 1 in the morning. He sent flowers to her at work.
Then, a week later, completely desperate, he went and sang love songs under her window. Her neighbors called the police.
Sam’s first problem was that he didn’t give Keri a chance to breathe. She needed some space to decide whether to go on with the relationship. And, her dumped boyfriend took that space away.
When nothing seemed to work, Sam decided on another tack. He started seeing other girls and flaunting it in her face.
Keri had a friend named Robin who never seemed to be able to get a date. Sam asked Robin out and she accepted. Then, Sam called Keri and asked her where Robin would like to go on their date. Sam thought that Keri would be jealous when she heard he was dating her friend.
But Keri was furious. She felt that Sam was taking advantage of Robin to get back at her. And, she felt Robin was selling her out. Sam was making no headway here.
When Keri started dating a new guy, Sam did everything possible to disparage the boyfriend. He tried to compare the new guy unfavorably to himself.
Unfortunately, by this time, Sam had burned all of his bridges. Keri had moved on and didn’t want to have anything further to do with Sam.
The relationship didn’t have to end like this. Keri could have forgiven Sam for his lapse at the party. But, because Sam acted like an oaf afterwards, he lost the ability to get her back. If you are a dumped boyfriend, don’t compound matters by being a Sam.
Keri called Sam that night and told him that she never wanted to see him again. She called him a number of unprintable names as well.
Of course, Sam felt bad about the whole situation. He knew he had a lapse of judgment, but didn’t think that one evening of bad behavior should end a good relationship.
So, Sam jumped right in and tried to win Keri back. But, as we will see, he did everything wrong.
First of all, when Keri called, he groveled. Rather than apologizing and moving forward, he begged Keri to take him back. She, of course, was in no mood to do so. She was justifiably angry.
Then, he compounded the problem by pursuing her aggressively in the next few days. She got more than a hundred texts from him in 6 days. He called at least 3 times a day including once at 1 in the morning. He sent flowers to her at work.
Then, a week later, completely desperate, he went and sang love songs under her window. Her neighbors called the police.
Sam’s first problem was that he didn’t give Keri a chance to breathe. She needed some space to decide whether to go on with the relationship. And, her dumped boyfriend took that space away.
When nothing seemed to work, Sam decided on another tack. He started seeing other girls and flaunting it in her face.
Keri had a friend named Robin who never seemed to be able to get a date. Sam asked Robin out and she accepted. Then, Sam called Keri and asked her where Robin would like to go on their date. Sam thought that Keri would be jealous when she heard he was dating her friend.
But Keri was furious. She felt that Sam was taking advantage of Robin to get back at her. And, she felt Robin was selling her out. Sam was making no headway here.
When Keri started dating a new guy, Sam did everything possible to disparage the boyfriend. He tried to compare the new guy unfavorably to himself.
Unfortunately, by this time, Sam had burned all of his bridges. Keri had moved on and didn’t want to have anything further to do with Sam.
The relationship didn’t have to end like this. Keri could have forgiven Sam for his lapse at the party. But, because Sam acted like an oaf afterwards, he lost the ability to get her back. If you are a dumped boyfriend, don’t compound matters by being a Sam.
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