Monday, November 30, 2009

Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

Are you considering getting back together with your ex boyfriend? The idea probably seems quite exciting, especially if both of you are remembering all of the good times that you had together. But you should definitely do some serious thinking before you and your boyfriend decide to get back together.

Many couples do successfully reunite and end up with very strong relationships after a break-up. However, some couples end up getting back together for the wrong reasons or without fully dealing with the factors that led to the dissolution of the relationship. If you want your rejuvenated relationship to be a success, make sure that you first take the time to consider the following issues:

• Old wounds need to be healed.

In other words, there was some reason why you and your boyfriend broke up in the first place; has this issue been resolved? If not, it is likely that your relationship may fail again. You and your boyfriend must find a way to either deal with the problems that led to the break-up or you must jointly decide that the break-up issues are no longer conflicts. It isn’t enough to simply have regrets about the relationship and how it ended; things must change.


• Let go of old expectations.

If you and your boyfriend decide to give the relationship another try, you will need to learn to treat it as a new relationship--not as an extension of your old one. This doesn’t mean that you need to completely start fresh; however, you do need to rebuild trust and friendship. You will need to reassess your goals as a couple and work on creating a new life together.

• Don’t let emotions make decisions about reuniting or about the new relationship.

Of course it can feel quite thrilling to talk again with your ex, and you both may be feeling the euphoria of falling for each other once again. Yet allowing those feelings to control whether you and your boyfriend get back together could be a mistake. You both need to think rationally about how a new relationship would be--without letting the floods of emotion overcome you. Similarly, when making decisions about the new relationship, it is best to do so calmly and with sensible and reasonable thought. If either of you allow emotions to cloud your judgment, you may come to regret it later on.

If you really want to get back together with your boyfriend, make sure that you and he are both really ready for another try at the relationship. By doing so, you could end up saving yourself a great deal of heartache if, for some reason, the relationship does not fare well again.

It may seem quite easy to believe that your boyfriend has changed because of your great desire to reignite the relationship; however, if it isn’t actually true you will just be setting yourself up for failure. Instead, set yourself up for success by being honest with your boyfriend and making sure that the two of you do not follow the same path that led to your first break-up.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back

Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake. It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back. These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.

If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips. Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly. If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.

Try these tips as you work toward getting your exgirlfriend back:

• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship. Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.

• Be kind whenever you see her. Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment. This will show her that you still care about her.

• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you. Let her express herself and do not interrupt. Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.

• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up. Work on changing these habits. For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested. Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.

Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back. Avoid doing any of these:

• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex. This is not attractive at all.

• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.

• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back. This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship. And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.

By following these tips, you should be able to work towards getting your exgirlfriend back. Good luck!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage

If your relationship between the two of you to the point of questioning how long you will be together, you may be asking how to save my marriage. Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.

Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

- No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.

- Marriage requires work. For your relationship to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.

- Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.

- Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.

- Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Saving A Relationship 3 Tips For Doing So

Whether you've recently broken up, or you're afraid you're on the brink of a breakup you can take heart, saving a relationship is possible. You can reignite the flame that the two of you once shared. It won't necessarily be easy or fast, but if you're committed to making it work there is hope.

I've compiled a list of some of the things you need to do to salvage and repair your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when you are analyzing your relationship:

1. Do you really want to stay in the relationship? I know this may sound like a dumb question but sometimes when we think we want to keep our relationship what we really mean is that we're afraid of having to find someone new, or starting over. If you're brutally honest with yourself you can determine if you really want to continue the relationship or if you're just scared of being on your own.

Another part of this question is to determine if your partner really wants to work on the relationship too. Even if you decide that your relationship is worth saving, that doesn't mean your partner shares your conviction or will be willing to invest the time and effort to work on your problems.

2. Honestly evaluate what went wrong in your relationship. Again, this will need to be done by both of you. This can be the hardest part, it's always easier to blame someone else for the problems but it's tougher to own up to your part in the break down of your relationship.

Before you can repair it you need to know not only what is broken but why it broke. The two of you may even want to visit a couples counselor to help you objectively work through this phase. Sometimes having an objective third party in the room can help you both stay calm and face things you may not have been willing or able to face on your own.

3. Try to remember what drew you to each other in the first place. If you've been in a relationship for a while you obviously loved and enjoyed each other. So often in a relationship what happens is that the 'stronger' one (or the most selfish one) controls the relationship. They become the one who tends to take more than they give. The other partner will take on the role of the giver. Over time the 'taker' will get bored because the fun loving person they fell in love with has become a doormat and the 'giver' will get sick of not getting their needs met often enough.

If your relationship has fallen into this trap you both need to take a step back and remember what attracted you to each other. This might be a good time to not only remember but to tell the other person. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and vice a versa.

Saving a relationship will take time, work, and commitment by both parties, but it can be done. If you think your relationship is worth saving and your partner thinks so too, than by all means, follow the tips above and you can salvage your relationship.

Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship

Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do. Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time. If you think the best way to save your relationship is to 'spice up your sex life' you may want to think again. Here is some advice on sex to repair your relationship.
First of all don't buy into the old cliche that if you have great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave. Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone won't be enough to keep your relationship strong. A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you will struggle and most likely won't be happy in the relationship.
A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that's ok. It's more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it's balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you are in sync you should seriously consider ending the relationship because the two of you just aren't a good fit, and that's unlikely to change.
So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be, consider some of these points:
1. How was your relationship in the beginning? Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together? What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together? If you don't do those things together anymore, why not? If you analyze these changes in your relationship you will be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.
2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship? After all you're both part of the situation, and the problem. Why not share with each other what you are feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner? No one will know what they are thinking better than they do.
Make sure that when you ask your partner what they're thinking you give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel in a 'safe' environment. What I mean by that is don't get mad and yell at them if they say something you don't want to hear. If you do then you are sending them a signal that they can't open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won't turn to you. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.
Once they've told you how they feel, it's your turn. And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.
If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you'll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that's simply not the case. Use the advice on sex to repair your relationship tips I've given you above to start to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Healing Relationship Wounds

If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you will need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won't necessarily be quick and easy, and you won't be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you will need to take to repair your broken relationship. A lot of what you will have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It's usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a 'game plan' to fix it. You wouldn't expect your mechanic to fix your car without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they've been wrong or made mistakes. But you can't fix it until you know what is broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you've behaved in the relationship and what things you've done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a big a role in a broken relationship as what you've done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you've figured out the mistakes you've made you will need to determine if you're wiling to invest the time needed to fix them. If you can't make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There's no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you will need to honestly consider is whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You can't do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's also time to move on.

Something else you will need to consider is that if you save your relationship it will never totally be 'back the way it used to be'. That doesn't mean it can't still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it better than it was before, it'll just take some time...and lot's of love.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Long Distance Relationship Advice

Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge. It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work. It will also take some sound long distance relationship advice, and that's where I come in.

In this article I've outlined some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive. I've also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship.

One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page. Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks it's ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.

For the most part, a couple won't even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be a long term one. There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be 'the one'.

Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills. When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you can't have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.

That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around. The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they don't get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

If you are an insecure person, though most people won't admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship. Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isn't one.

If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work. No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities.

You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a 'fling' with someone while away from your partner. Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if that's the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Healing A Broken Relationship

Healing a broken relationship isn't hopeless, but it will be a challenge. How much of a challenge will depend on many things.

One of the first things that will factor into how you should go about fixing your relationship is why the relationship is in trouble in the first place. Is your relationship broken because of infidelity? If so, was it you or your partner that cheated? This type of relationship can be fixed but it is the hardest thing to overcome and both partners have to be willing to work very hard to make things right.

With infidelity it would seem like the partner who cheated would have to do all the work, but that isn't really the case. The truth of the matter is that it will take just as much work for the person who was cheated on to try to overcome their fear of being hurt again, their mistrust of their partner, as well as their anger and desire for revenge.

If your relationship has broken down more gradually over time, this might be a little easier to mend. Of course, it will still take time and work and you both will need to be 100% committed to working on it. Many relationships in this category die like a plant in a garden, from lack of nurturing. It's not usually a big thing that ends it but rather a series of small, seemingly unimportant, things that will weaken the relationship to the point where it will break very easily.

This type of relationship will take an honest assessment of what each of you has done, or not done, to weaken the relationship. Once you've both admitted the part you've played in the breakdown of the relationship, at least to yourself, it's time to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss what went wrong, what you think needs to be done to make it right, as well as what you personally are willing do to fix the relationship.

This part of the process will be very difficult and will often lead to some horrendous fights. Why? Because this is the part where you will have to listen to your partner tell you why they aren't happy with you. This won't be easy for you to hear. And the same goes for your partner when it's your turn to talk. Very often one partner won't be able to deal with what they perceive as criticism when their partner is trying to explain why they aren't happy. Once that happens it will often end up in a screaming match and nothing will get accomplished.

This is the point where you, and your partner, will need to grow up. If neither one of you is able to calmly listen to your partner while they try to explain what has made them unhappy in the relationship you won't have any chance at all of working things out.

Healing a broken relationship isn't impossible, but it will take work. If you or your partner aren't able to be mature and able to face your faults and be willing to work on changing them then you will have a much harder time of fixing your relationship.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Advice On Love To Save Your Relationship

Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it's tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it's aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It's not so much about how much time you spend together, it's more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together. Keep that in mind when going over the list:

1. Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it's your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma's, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.

This is so important for two reasons. One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life. That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you'll be more relaxed and at ease. And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other. It's fun to have shared experiences where you can say 'remember when we did...'? That creates a deeper bond between the two of you.

2. So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day, or if they picked up milk on the way home. Try to make time each week to really talk. Don't turn it into a complaining time, just talk. Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc. Make it a positive time. Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.

3. Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner. Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don't let yourself forget that. And while you're reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too. If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh. So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on. And that's a shame. Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don't ever let your partner feel like you don't find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Many people will tell you that relationships are 'hard' and that they 'take a lot of work'. I don't agree. I believe that if you are with the right person, if you're both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy. Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

Healing From A Broken Relationship

Healing from a broken relationship is a tough thing to do, but the good news is, it can be done. You just need to understand the process and allow yourself the time that you need.
One of the first things to remember is there is no time limit. It will take you as much time as it takes you, period. There is no set rule on how long it should take you, though you still should be making some forward progress after a few months. You may be a long way from being back to normal, but you should be starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
One word of caution, though: if you don't seem to be making any progress at all, you may want to hire a therapist to help you through the worst of it. Sometimes having an objective third party who can offer unbiased advice is a good way to help us jumpstart our recovery. It may even help speed the process along a little, and who wouldn't want that?
Another thing you can do to help speed things along is find yourself. This may sound like strange advice but in most relationships you will lose a little of yourself. This seems to be particularly common with women. It's easy to become a 'we' and lose a little 'me'. And a little of that isn't a bad thing, but once the relationship has ended it's time to get your 'me' back.
This process will help you heal and grow. It will remind you that there was a time when you were happy without your ex. This 'reawakening' can be a very exciting time and it can help dull at least some of the pain you're feeling since the breakup. If nothing else, it will give you something to occupy your mind with.
Spending time with family and friends will help you enormously too. Surrounding yourself with people who love you will help you stay strong. When in the midst of a bad breakup it's easy to forget that you will be happy again. It can be hard to see past that black hole, but if you're with your family and friends they will help you feel the love that you are missing from your ex.
While this isn't the time to wallow, it might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of the things in the relationship that made you unhappy, or mad, or both. You don't want to dwell on the relationship too much at this point but reminding yourself of the bad times might help you gain a little clarity and move the healing process along a little bit.
No matter how you choose to go about it, just remember that healing from a broken relationship is possible. You will get through it and you will find love and happiness again. If you learn from your past relationship you can take that knowledge with you into your next relationship which will help make that relationship even better. Just hang in there.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Love Relationship Advice

For most people, it's pretty easy to find love. The challenge often seems to be to be able to make it last. Keeping your love for each other strong is not impossible. You just have to understand why it falls apart and make sure you, and your partner, avoid those traps. That's where love relationship advice comes in handy.
With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet 'the one'. It's a much better method than cruising the bar scene looking for someone special. For most couples the first few months is pretty easy. You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect. You can see no wrong in them or what they do. And maybe there isn't anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.
They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if that's true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.
Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship. These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it. If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:
1. Unrealistic expectations. As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong. As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, it's easy to lose some of that early 'glow'. This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just don't love each other anymore and break up.
In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this 'normal' mode than you will in the early 'glow' mode. It's important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.
2. Inability to effectively communicate. Men and women express themselves differently...that's just the way it is. The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if you're willing to take some time to learn how. The whole 'it's a guy thing' or 'it's a girl thing' is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out. In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner. The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?
3. Don't confuse sex with love. This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways. Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level. Yes, it's pleasurable, but the pleasure isn't just physical it's emotional as well.
Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man. For them too, it's pleasurable but it's also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity. Sometimes when a relationship gets to the 'comfortable' stage this difference in views about sex can create problems. If one partner doesn't seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.
If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of. While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, it's important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably won't be quite as important as it once was. That doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you or find you attractive, it's just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.
I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love you've found. Being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person really is one of life's blessings. Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.

Guy Advice On Healing A Relationship

If you're struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship. You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don't know any more than you do. Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.
There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.
Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.
In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very 'manly' thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.
So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?
There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.
I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.
Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.
The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Want Him To Love Me Again

"I want him to love me again" is expressed by many women all over the world, in different languages, environments and situations. Some married women find themselves saying those exact words to close friends or family members when they're not feeling the intimacy that was once an everyday part of their marriage.
Some women have been on the bad end of a breakup or divorce and desire nothing more than the return of their man and his love. And some women were the instigators of the broken relationship, citing the loss of love as a reason or possibly rethinking their decision and hoping to return to the way things were. Whatever the situation, the sentiment is heartfelt but the solutions not always easy or clear cut.
If you're trying to win back your guy's love, one thing you need to understand is what men look for in a relationship and whether or not this was missing in yours. So, what are the things that men need? Above all, men crave admiration. So you need to let him know that he's wanted and admired.
While it may be obvious for you, it probably won't be as much so or enough to him, so when in doubt, go overboard with flirtation and affection. Did you get comfortable in the relationship and tend to dress casually most of the time and forget about make-up and sexy clothes? Or even worse, did you dress up for work but stay in sweats and tennis shoes at home?
Did your boyfriend or husband leave you for another woman? Most women mistakenly think their man has found a better looking women. That's not usually the case. In fact, when and if you end up meeting the "other" women who happens to be pretty normal looking, the typical reaction is to think. . ."what does he see in her"? It's most likely not just what he sees in her but what he feels in her. She makes him feel respected, admired and wanted again.
Are you still in your relationship and constantly being accused of being a nag by your partner? This isn't anything new, right? You’ll often hear men complain about being “nagged to death.”
What they're really saying is that they want their wife or girlfriend to be satisfied with who he is and what good qualities he has to offer. Realize that the nagging isn't the real problem – it’s the fact that you are conveying that you're unsatisfied with who he is and what he has to offer. That's what really gets to a man and drives him out of a relationship.
Don't take this to mean that you have to be lovey-dovey all the time and can never express your true feelings, anger or sadness. But when you are proud of your man, make sure he knows it! Don't just show the negative feelings that come up and take the love and admiration for granted. Keeping this in mind will keep the fire of his love alive.
This information should help you if you're in the mindset of "I want him to love me again."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - Yes I Can

So you are now single or with somebody new. . .but you can not get your ex out of your mind. You are always thinking "How can I get my ex to love me again. . ." And then you in all likelihood push the thought away because it seems impossible. The good news is that you can get your ex back in your arms. It's been done before, and not infrequently, and it can be done again, by you.
Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, a lot of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men's and women's brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren't.
So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let's have a look at why he or she isn't around to begin with.
Why do men leave relationships? It is pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren't getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and perhaps they found it someplace else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I could not make her happy!”
Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”
Now, you may think that your ex's reasons for leaving do not fit into one of those categories. You might be thinking, "my husband left me because I cheated on him." But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren't getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or perhaps you are thinking. . .although that's not an excuse. Or maybe you are thinking "My girlfriend left me because I was never around." But ask yourself, why were you never around?
Now that you are not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in your relationship. Meanwhile, make certain you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.
Then, after you have had time to concentrate on yourself and look at your relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don't re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question "Can I get my ex to love me again?" Yes, you can!
The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you'll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.
But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to "Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?" is "Yes, I can!"

Thursday, November 19, 2009

How To Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again

Have you lost your wife or girlfriend and been asking yourself "how to make her fall in love with me again?" Whether you feel that your less-than-happy relationship is coming to a close or it's already ended, you can actually turn the situation around to your advantage. You'll have to be commited and strong but getting her to love you again can be done.

When you are so emotionally involved in a situation, you're too close to look at it objectively and analyze what the problems are and how to solve them. So the emotional side gets the better of you and you then end up making the whole situation even worse. The only way to make sure this doesn't happen is to maintain your dignity at all costs, no matter what. This most likely even means walking away (if you already haven't) in the beginning. And that is probably the hardest part. But it is the most effective way over the long haul.

Let's look at human nature. What you'll read next is sad but true. . .people get bored with something or someone who is there for them all the time, no matter what. Think about yourself. Are you attracted to someone who is always around, answering your every need and catering to your every whim? Pretty borning, right? Now think about how your wife or girlfriend sees you. How she sees you depends on how highly you value yourself. And if you don't value yourself enough right now, you need to change that. Learn to recognize what you deserve, not what you're used to. If you act like a loser, you will be treated like a loser. If you think of yourself as the victim of the situation, then you are the victim of the situation. Now ask yourself, why should anyone else, including your girlfriend or wife, think highly of you if you don't think very highly of yourself? Realize that things don't happen by themselves. . .only you have the power to change things about yourself, how you see yourself and how others treat you.

If you're not already doing so, take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods and exercise. Go out with friends more often and try to have some fun.

When you're not always hanging around just waiting for your wife or girlfriend to change her mind, she will actually have the chance to miss you . . . maybe not easy, but very effective.

The above actions will take you out of the "black hole" of your situation so that you can view it from a more objective angle while at the same time giving your girlfriend or wife the space that she needs and showing her that you are not going to wait around forever. Put these "how to make her fall in love with me" methods to work and enjoy the results.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Want My Wife To Love Me Again

Are you unable to think about anything except "I want my wife to love me again"? Has your marriage gone by the wayside and you don't know why or what to do about it? Here are some tips that can help you out.

If you don't know why your wife has stopped loving you (or so she says), then that's the first thing you need to figure out. First of all, if your wife is still with you, then she probably does still love you. If she didn't, she would be somewhere else. So that's something positive you want to keep in mind. So why is she saying that she doesn't love you or just acting like she doesn't love you?

The main reason that a woman will feel like she's fallen out of love is because she isn't getting the attention and appreciation that she craves. Women are multi-faceted and do many things for you and your family. They work, take care of the kids, do all the household duties, have a social life that includes other friends and families and other interests that you both may not share.

So, ask yourself, do you appreciate everything your wife does for you? Do you apprecitate that she is her own person and has her own ideas and interests, not all of which will be the same as yours. Do you appreciate all the little things she does to show you she cares? If so, then you need to let her know if you haven't already.

On the other hand, there is such a thing as overdoing it. You don't want to be fawning all over your wife and constantly asking her what's wrong and how you can help her or make her feel more loved. If you've been doing that and it's just making her push you away even more, then it's time to stop. Don't be negative or hostile about it. continue to be positive and cheerful.

But just give her space. Focus on taking care of yourself. Make sure you're eating right, exercising and going out with friends. Take the kids out on your own and leave your wife some time to herself. You can still offer comments up like "Boy, you sure do look nice today" but leave it at that. Then walk out the door and go to work.

Once you step back a bit and give your wife some space, as well as focus on yourself and show her that you are not going to dye without her, she will start to see you as someone that is to be admired and appreciated as well. Take it slow and let her make the first move towards you again. Hopefully this has helped you take some of the mystery and pain out of the statement "I want my wife to love me again."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How Do I Get My Husband To Love Me Again

"Dear Abby. . .How do I get my husband to love me again?" Have you been thinking this to yourself and wondering where to turn for help? You're marriage has gone stale and you do not know precisely why, or even if you do know why, you do not know exactly what to do about it.

What usually takes place regrettably is that as time passes, the powerful love, respect and admiration that women feel from their husband is replaced by feelings of hurt, awkwardness and distance. Some women are certain that their husbands have fallen out of love with them. sometimes the husband actually spells it out. Or occasionally the husband denies this but the "something's-wrong-feelings" are still around. If you feel that your husband has fallen out of love with you, there are steps you are able to take to bring you back to where you once were in your relationship and/or to make your marriage even stronger.

Try to remember to when you and your husband first fell in love. Do you remember what you loved about him and what he loved about you? Naturally we all change as we get older so some of our qualities have become stronger and some have vanished. A very common example of this is when a career-woman becomes a stay-at-home mom.

Occasionally husbands miss the way their wives were before they became homemakers. So now you are thinking, "Well, I can't do anything about that!" To some extent that's true. You have a new and important role now in life that you should not give up but you could try to add some variety in every now and then by taking a night off to go out with friends or volunteer for a cause. This will remind your husband, and in all likelihood even yourself, that you're a multi faceted person with a lot to offer.

Here is something else that you need to consider if you are trying to get your husband to fall back in love with you. Remember what the bible says? "Do unto others as you would have done to you. . ."? How are you treating your husband? Of course how you act towards him may be altered if you feel that he does not love you any longer. But how have you been treating him in the last few years even before you noticed the change in him? It is easy and commonplace to start taking your husband for granted once you are married and even more so after the years go on. He probably does the same with you.

Perhaps you have been dedicating yourself to the kids mostly and that means less one-on-one time with your man? Or maybe you are constantly nagging him about certain things you want done around the house which he neglects to do?

If you are able to switch your behavior around and begin treating your husband the way you'd like to be treated, he will eventually catch on and do the same. By letting your husband know that you appreciate and love him, you will bring the two of you closer. And that's one answer to your question "How do I get my husband to love me again?"

Monday, November 16, 2009

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Love Me Even If Ive Cheated

Are you asking yourself "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . ." after you have cheated? If so, you have probably already tried everything you are able to think of. You have told her it did not mean anything, you have apologized over and over again and said you would never do it again, you have begged on your hands and knees for forgiveness. But that did not work and you are back to square one.
You need to be careful when you are trying to win your girlfriend back under any circumstances. . .but particularly if you have cheated. You do want her back desperately and would do anything to change what you did but it will not be in your advantage to appear desperate. That would only contribute to the many reasons she has for not accepting you back right now. But how can you show her how sorry you are then?
One of the best strategies in regaining your girlfriend's heart is to write her a letter. Tell her that you agree with her decision to take some time. Tell her that she's exactly right, the two of you should really be going your own separate ways. Tell her that you have seen the end coming for quite a while now. After that, write a short apology. Tell her how really sorry you are for cheating on her. Agree that it showed a tremendous lack of respect towards her and once again convey how you truly regret having done it. And finally, reveal that something truly wonderful as happened in your life and you would like to tell her about it whenever you are able to. Sign off in a neutral way and you have created the letter.
Whether you have realized it or not, sending a letter that contains those concepts is an extremely effective way to get your girlfriend's "love blood" flowing again. You are showing in a really classy way that you know what you have done and understand how it has hurt her and, simultaneously, you are showing her that you are not totally devastated and mucking around in self-hate and pity. ..You are ready to begin anew. It is very likely when your girlfriend reads the letter that she will contact you soon afterwards and you will not be in the position of begging for her time and forgiveness any longer.
This is just the first step in winning your girlfriend's heart back and you will definitely need to be ready when she gets back in touch with you after reading your letter. While you are waiting for her answer, make certain you take care of yourself, go out with friends and keep yourself busy - concentrate on being positive and upbeat. You want to be in the right frame of mind when your girlfriend gets back to you. Do not hang around the phone and mope when you have not heard anything yet.
Give it time. And play it cool when she does get in touch with you. Hopefully this has helped you with the first step in your question of "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . .even after I've cheated."

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I Want My Husband To Love Me Again - Is That To Much To Ask

"What do I want? I want my husband to love me again. That's the way it should be so why is it not happening?"
If you are thinking along those lines because you are trapped in what you consider to be a loveless marriage, then pay attention to the following steps that you are able to take to remedy the situation.
All marriages have their own varying dynamics, problems and ups and downs. If you are still trying to work things out with your husband who has either told you that he does not love you any longer or just makes you feel that way, you are the one who needs to take action. The good news is that if your husband has not left you, then he in all likelihood still does love you, whether he knows it or not. You just need to prove it to him.
The most common reason that a man will distance himself or come out and tell you that he does not love you any longer is because he himself does not feel admired and respected. Although it might be obvious to you that you admire and respect your husband, it might not be to him. There are a lot of pressures that come into play in married life which cause admiration and respect to take a back step to disappointment and anger.
If you are putting your emphasis on your kids, it is easy to get annoyed when your husband complains that you do not pay any attention to him any longer. After all, your kids should be both of your priorities, right? And your husband should realize this, right? What your husband sees is that he isn't getting the attention he once had. . .the attention that made him feel important and made him feel in love.
So, begin by showing your husband a bit more respect and admiration. This will most likely be really difficult to begin with, particularly if he's ignoring you or just away a lot. It will bring your ego down a peg or two. . .but if it is worth it to you to get your husband back, then stick with it. Try a bit less nagging about doing the house chores or work around the house. And when your husband does do something, thank him for it. Do not just take it for granted.
Try to be more caring in your words and actions. You do not want to be fawning all over him all the time, but you are able to tell him you love him and bring up good memories of the fun times you shared. If your husband just ignores you initially, do not let that stop you. Also make certain that you're taking care of yourself and doing things that you like to do. Eat right, get some exercise and go out with friends every from time to time. This will bring up your self-esteem and also change the way others, including your husband, perceive you.
If you are thinking "I want my husband to love me again", then take the above steps to get him back.

How Can I Get My Husband To Fall In Love With Me Again

Whether you feel that you are in a loveless marriage or your marriage has taken a nose dive, you might be asking yourself "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? This article will address some ways that can help you win back the heart of your husband (if you have truly lost it, that is).

If you happen to be in what you feel is a "loveless marriage", you should understand that if your husband is there, he in all likelihood still does love you. "Falling out of love" is a term that's frequently applied to hum-drum marriages but what it oftentimes means from the man's point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going. Your husband might have pulled away from you because he's not happy but could offer no more detailed explanation for his feelings. Men have a hard time accurately interpreting and then communicating what they are feeling. Even if they can not put words to it, what they're often feeling is the relationship does not make them feel good about themselves anymore.

When you first began your relationship, you were both putting your best foot forward and putting a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves.

So your relationship became stronger and both you and your husband felt wanted, important, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it is important to understand that when your husband says (or you think) he does not love you any longer, that might not be true. It is really likely that he's actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

So, now that you know this. . .what can you do? First, you get it all out. Tell your husband that you're feeling a distance in your marriage and you miss the closeness and intimacy that you both once enjoyed. Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage. This may scare him because he thinks it will take a lot of work but do not worry about that. The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

Then you show him that he'll probably like what you have in mind. Define what you miss in your relationship. If that happens to be more affection, then show more real affection to your husband. If you want more appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Sure, you have to take the first steps, but in time, you will see that he responds. It is not unusual in the beginning that your husband will just look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. This will in all likelihood be hard on your ego but do not give up! You will see sooner or later that you have found the answer to "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again?"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Can My Wife Love Me Again

If you're asking yourself "Can My Wife Love Me Again?", you're definitely not alone. All relationships and circumstances vary but many married couples face problems and lots of husbands are asking themselves the very same question. This article will give you some general start-up tips that can help you out.

First off, you need to put yourself in the right mindset. If you're feeling down and low, you won't be very attractive to anyone, including your wife. So you need to turn your feelings around to be positive. Think of the good times you and your wife have had and how much she loved you when your relationship was just beginning. Think of how you courted her and think of how you can start doing it again. It should even be easier this time around since you know her better.

After you've put yourself into a more positive state, you'll need to objectively analyze the why's and how's of why she drifted off or even left you in the first place. Did you take her for granted and never offer thanks and appreciation for everything she did? Did you just fall into a comfortable mode and not feel the need to tell her and show her that you loved her? All women need to feel loved and taken care of. So start with the simplest way to win back her heart by saying "I love you." Do you remember the last time you spoke those exact words to her, and not just out of habit at the end of a phone call but while looking straight into her eyes? A lot of time may have already passed since the last genuine "I love you" came out of your mouth - it's something your wife needs to hear.

Another reason your wife may have distanced herself from you is if you treated her badly and didn't respect her. A lot of actions fall under that category and being unfaithful is at the top of the list. If this is you, then you need to change your ways. Women are extremely sensitive and comments or questions that might just be water off your back could really hurt her. If you constantly yelled at your wife, this is something that needs to stop. Are you willing to change? If you are asking yourself "Can my wife love me again?", you also need to ask yourself. . ."Am I prepared to change to win back her love?" Be truthful to yourself in your answer.

The thought of losing your loved one is frightening, especially if you've shared many years together. Hopefully these insights will help you reach your goal of winning back your wife's love and putting your family back together. And no matter what your situation, it's never too late to start over with a brand new slate.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Your Question - How To Get My Wife To Love Me Again - Your Answer Here

It's a tough one you've been asking yourself for a while now. . . "How to get my wife to love me again?"

There are many avenues that need to be explored when coming up with an answer to your question and of course the answers depend on your specific situation and circumstances. But there are some basic strategies that any man can apply towards gaining his wife's love back.

First, you need to figure out why your wife has stopped loving you (or why she says that she doesn't love you anymore, even if that may not be true).

What are some common reasons for this?

Reason Number 1:
I've lost my wife's love because I had an affair and she found out.

Reason Number 2:
My wife found someone new that she feels is better than me.

Reason Number 3:
I haven't stuck to my promises and agreements. I promised her that I would change my attitude or some of the things that annoy her but I haven't done so. This has lead to disappointment and loss of hope on her part.

Reason Number 4:
I neglected my wife in her eyes. I didn't give her the love and attention she needed.

Reason Number 5: I tried to control everything she did. I didn't allow my wife enough freedom and space to do what she wanted.

Once you've identified the reason or combination of reasons, you can start to go to work on the problem. Many marriages that fail do so because the real problems aren't really understood. Communication is a huge part of making the marriage work - and men think differently than women so even if you think you know how your wife feels about something (because that's the way you feel), chances are you probably don't. So talk to her.

Without the right communication, it's really hard to resolve and kind of conflict, big or small. The right kind of communication will allow your damaged relationship to start recuperating and later to thrive if you give your wife the opportunity to share her dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with you.

If your wife has conceded to trying in the marriage again, don't just go back to what wasn't working. Keep things interesting, do little things to show your wife how much you love and appreciate her or do something pleasantly surprising.

Keeping your promises is another important part of the equation. If you haven't kept your promises in the past, start doing so now. Your past broken promises have no doubt ruined the trust in your relationship but you can start repairing that now.

Finally, give your wife the space and time she needs. Let her know that you are there for her but don't smother her.

Hopefully the above information is enough to get you started working on your solving your big concern of "How to get my wife to love me again".

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

How To Improve Break Up Recovery

So how do you improve recovery from a break up? The trick is to get back together. Most couples split for silly reasons. With some good communication they could overcome their problems and be happy.
You first need to decide if you want to get back with this person. Forget about what they want for a moment and concentrate on what you would like. Once you are certain, you will be much more convincing as you persuade the other person to give you another chance.
If you decide that you do not want to get back with your ex partner you should have no problem getting over the break up. But I don’t think you are willing to let that relationship go, do you?
You need to set up a meeting with your ex to discuss your future. Apologise for anything that went wrong, whether it was your fault or not; and agree to put it in the past. Yes you need to resolve your issues but you don't need to dwell on them.
Focus on the positives. What have you got going for you? Why should the two of you be together? Talk about the great times you have had, the history you share, the sexual attraction that burns between you and hopefully you will be celebrating getting back together very soon.
It may take a couple of meetings and a while to get back on track but it will be worth it. If you had a great relationship it is worth fighting for. Finding someone special to love who loves you in return isn’t easy and shouldn’t be given up lightly. Add to that a shared history, family and children and you will soon realise, if you haven’t already done so, that you belong together.
If there was a reason for your breakup, perhaps one of you had an affair; it doesn’t need to spell the end. Affairs always happen for a reason. Perhaps you were not paying your partner any or enough attention. Perhaps they felt taken for granted. Or it could be something as simple as too many drinks at the Christmas/office party. None of these make adultry right.
I know that it is not easy to accept your partner sleeping with someone else; but you can get over it. If you still love this person and want them in your life, go to couples counselling and see can the therapist help you both to work through your feelings. You may find that you cannot live with the deceit and betrayal and decide to split up after all. But you could also decide that by bringing all the problems into the open, you can resolve them and go forward with a much stronger relationship. You just need to approach the situation with an open mind.
Having someone you love in your life is far too important to let it go over something trivial or in some cases something very hurtful. So forget about trying to improve the "breakup recovery" and concentrate on getting your partnership back on track.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

How To Avoid Break Up Letters And Stay Together

Nobody likes to receive a "Dear John" letter, phone call and thanks to technology; a "Dear John" text message (is that cruel or what?). The good news is that you can avoid getting break up letters and messages.
Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.
We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.
Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.
Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.
The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.
Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.
Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.
Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

How To Escape The Final Stages Of Breaking Up

As we know very few people suddenly break up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.

We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.

Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.

Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.

Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.

Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.

So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.

True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Do You Know The 3 Warning Signs Of A Breakup

If you know the warning signs of a break up you will be better able to avoid splitting from your lover. All relationships are different but there are usually similar symptoms of trouble to look out for:

1) Your partner is ignoring you.

Now I don’t mean that they are not talking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they are feeling or even where they were? If you are like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a little work.

Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they are your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.

So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?

2) Your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.

If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this. Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.

3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom

While sex is only a three letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time. Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings. So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.

You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isn’t. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Warning Signs Of A Break Up What You Need To Do NOW

If you see warning signs of a break up you need to act quickly to avoid splitting up. It's a great deal easier to prevent a split then to try to reconcile after the event.
So what should you be watching out for? The obvious one is if you're both always arguing. I believe it's healthy for couples to argue from time to time as making up is fun! But when you just fight and do not make friends, you're on dangerous ground.
Perhaps worse is when you've gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore each other. There's nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with somebody and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.
Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with others. Now do not get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It's when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.
If you see any signs of trouble, you can't ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a really nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.
If you have kids arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.
Do not jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You'll only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Alternatively, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation? Is there anything they feel could be improved?
Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgemental. It is not going to be easy and you might have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.
You might not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it may be all it takes to begin the process of getting your relationship back on track. There's a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. Meanwhile, you need to reassure one another that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that's worth fighting for.
Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Do You Know How To Prevent A Long Term Relationship Breakup

All couples experience rough patches from time to time; which could lead to a breakup. Frankly, if you don't, you may find out your missing out on a really meaningful part of your relationship. It's not a question if you are, but when you are going to hit that rough patch in your relationship. The question you need to be asking yourself right now is "Before this happens, I need to know 'how to prevent a long term relationship breakup' from happening to us." The following tips may well help you avoid that heartwrenching breakup.
We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.
Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk about the kids, job, your money issues and of course talking about family members (or suffer the consequences).
The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret about yourself. Talk to your partner about their interest, passion and most of all listen to what they say.
When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It isn't all together about having sex (a man would ask "It isn't?"), but holding hands, listening, talking, cuddling, affectionate, being there when needed and perhaps most all trusting one another.
If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out. Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and desperation on both sides. But you can't pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game.
Both of you have to make a list of all the nice things you would like to do/have done to each other; you should forget revenge and mayhem (really bad for saving a relationship). Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice, hot bath and allow her to soak for an hour; with only the candles for company. And guess what that can lead to for the man.
Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the "X" factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. However, the good news is, with work by you both, you can fan those "smoldering ember's into an all consuming fire of passion.
Couples that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings, make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life isn't a bed of roses, but it's a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love.
These are just a few of the things involved in "how to prevent a long term relationship breakup". Be sure you take the time to implement these things now and stop any further damage to your relationship.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What Is The Remedy For A Broken Heart

Unless you've been lucky, you have in all likelihood been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?
Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Maybe you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It's worth apologizing and asking for another chance if you feel this individual is your significant other.
It might be that you both said things that you regret. Frequently couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health not to mention families. See if your relationship is worth saving . You can go to counseling for unbiased help and advice. It's worth a shot, as getting back together with your loved one, is a really good remedy for a broken heart.
Occasionally though a relationship ends and it's final. Yes you'll feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period, after a difficult breakup, precisely like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost but then acknowledge it's time to move on.
You need to look after yourself. Why not take that vacation you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your regular routine. Your life will be different now so rather than approaching it with fear, grab this chance with both hands. Who knows, something or somebody better might just be around that next corner.
I don't believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they're teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who might have made mistakes in their respective pasts but have now found happiness again.
We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Occasionally our significant other changes also and as a couple, we adapt and stick together. Frequently though, we find we want different things and while you might be heartbroken initially, you might ultimately be happier with somebody else; or even on your own.
If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to somebody. There are plenty of counselors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping other people also. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children's school or visit elderly neighbors, we frequently forget about our own problems.
It's really easy to wallow in feeling of sadness but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.

Monday, November 2, 2009

4 Tips And More On Overcoming A Breakup

Unless you met the love of your life and stayed with them forever, you must have experienced the ending of a love affair. Here are a few tips on overcoming a breakup:
1) Be nice to yourself:
While you might be feeling low and unloved, the end of a relationship does not have to mean you stay on your own forever. Mr or Ms Right could be the next person to walk through the door. Meanwhile be nice to yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but your last lover was not interested in. There are in all likelihood some shows and films that you'd love to see. Grab some friends and head out for the evening.
2) do not be seen as being desperate:
Desperation isn't an attractive emotion in anybody. If you want your ex to take you back, you need to show them what they're missing. They will not want somebody who's miserable all the time. They want the person they originally fell in love with.
So despite how you're feeling you always need to present the best side of you in public. Dress nicely so you look good and above all plaster a smile on your face. Even if you feel like you're going to die from the pain, you never know when you will meet your ex or a mutual friend, so act happy; even if it's the performance of your life. You can cry into your pillow when you are home alone.
3) do not let your life stop:
Yes! I said you could cry into your pillow but I didn’t mean all day every day. Feeling miserable after a break up is natural but if you wallow in self pity, you typically wind up feeling worse. There's more to life than any partner so get out there and start enjoying yourself. You might have to pretend for a while but soon you'll find that you're actually having fun again.
4) do not over analyze what went wrong:
Yes we need to learn from our mistakes but the breakup might not have been your fault. It could simply be that the other person got scared of commitment i.e. cold feet. If they get in contact , agree to meet them for a drink and see how things go. Be polite and listen to what they have to say. If they want you back, do not be too eager, but agree to see how it goes.
If you were the one who finished things, but now realize you made a mistake, tell your ex. They're not mind readers and they will not know you want to rekindle your love affair unless you tell them.
Men and women frequently get things wrong as we see life so differently. Occasionally we have to split from our partner to realize what we had was real love. Frequently a break and a little communication goes a long way to overcoming a breakup and getting back together.