Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How To Get Your Ex To Come Back - 3 Methods

Aggressive Approach:


It's a fact that the aggressive approach is in all likelihood the one that most people are tempted to try right off the bat. When you're thinking about how to get your ex to come back, chances are really good that you have had thoughts of bursting into their home and either arguing with them or begging them to come back to you. This is the aggressive approach in your mind, but it is not precisely the aggressive approach that can work.
Your aggressive approach that could work best involves meeting your ex a lot at different social gatherings. You're going to need to act confident around them at all times and make it look as though you are able to take them or leave them. Be nice and courteous, but also make certain that they're well aware of the fact that you're talking to them because they are there, not because you're hung up on them. If executed right, the aggressive approach could bring a lot back for you, but it could also backfire immensely if you overdo it. It's the big risk for big reward scenario in this particular game.


Conservative Approach:


Honestly the conservative approach is the one that the fewest people think of naturally. This one has the lowest chance of success, but it also has the lowest chance of backfiring. That means that with the conservative approach, you still have a really good chance at remaining friends for life with your ex even if you do not get them back. If that's something that's of serious secondary importance to you, this is a technique you may want to try out rather than the aggressive approach.
Your conservative approach basically involves allowing things to happen organically. If you see them at parties you see them at parties. If you do not, it is also no big deal. When you do talk to them, you need to be truthful about your feelings, but not to the point where you scare them away.
Just mention that you think about them still and that you still feel a connection with them. Less is more in this case. Think conservatively in all areas and you will have a good idea of this approach. It will sooner or later place the ball in their court and that in the end is why it's the most successful; if you combine getting them back and keeping them as a friend as 2 successful outcomes.


Middle of The Road Approach:


As should be obvious, learning how to get your ex to come back does have a middle of the road choice. In this choice, you begin conservatively to give your ex time to get over the feelings that forced them to dump you. Once they've dulled those feelings and started to equalize them with the feelings that made them want you, ramping your strategy up to become more aggressive is what you should do over time. If you blow this approach though, you are able to lose them as a friend completely just like with the aggressive approach.

How To Get Your Ex GF Back Quickly

For anybody that's dabbled in the world of giving relationship advice, the title will actually be a bit of a red herring. The chief reason for this is that the vast majority of successful relationships that re-engage after a breakup are actually going to be relationships that do it really quickly after the initial breakup happens. While there are others where the two participants can get back together months or even years after breaking up, typically this isn't how things work in the real world.
So, want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly? Well, the first thing that you need to work out is whether there's actually a future in that relationship. If it turns out that there's no future to the relationship, you should begin focusing on other goals. Try to meet new people and push your ex-lover out of your life. It's much healthier to pursue other options than to try and reignite a relationship that you know will take you nowhere.
If, on the other hand, you feel strongly that getting your girlfriend back could indeed lead to a strong and long relationship, there's no harm in giving it a whirl. In this situation, many people make the mistake by taking the direct approach. They go right up to the girl and ask them if they're interested in starting things up again. This might work with certain guys, but it's a method that's doomed to failure with just about every ex-girlfriend in the world nowadays.
So what should you do alternatively? Well, if you want to do things properly, you need to have your ex see you living a good life. You need to attend the same social events as they do and then engage them in casual conversation there. You can even bring a casual date to the events just to show that you are not hung up on trying to get your ex back totally. The appearance of having moved on is a big thing in these situations because it could make your ex jealous and that in turn could potentially lead to them realizing that they still have feelings for you.
If you want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly, this is essentially the information you are looking for in a nutshell. Jealously and the realization of feelings can lead your ex to the conclusion that they still would like to have you in their life and to be in yours. This is the only way that you're going to be able to achieve a healthy relationship with your ex. Unless they realize right here and right now that they still would like to share their life with you, this is going to be doomed from the start.
Where you go from that point is up to you. Also, it's important to realize that your ex may see you and be fine with it, having already moved on herself. So one way or another, this method will tell you precisely where you and your ex stand.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Get Your Ex To Come Back What Works And What Does Not

If you want to get your ex to come back, you need to understand the difference between what works and what does not. Do not get sidetracked by semantics. There are people that will argue that any strategy could be successful given the right circumstances. Technically, that's correct. However, are you interested in technicalities if some strategies practically work just once in many lifetimes? Chances are you aren’t and that's why we need to clearly divide the different approaches into those that work and those that don't.
Straight off the bat, the best approach to take is the one of giving your ex some time and space at the start. Remember that regardless of who broke up with whom, your ex is going to need some time in order to get over the breakup itself. They're going to need time and space from you. At this point, if you continue to see them frequently, you risk alienating them even further and dooming your chances of ever getting back together with them.
Eventually, they will get over the breakup. At that point, you can begin to build your relationship with them once again. It's at this point that the successful strategies can diverge. There's the aggressive strategy and the conservative one from this point.
The aggressive strategy calls for you to really ramp things up and gamble on them not truly being committed to the breakup. You can push them a little harder with the aggressive strategy, but you still need to walk the line in order to make certain that you do not overdo things. If you do, you risk the strategy backfiring and you losing your ex both as a potential lover and as a potential friend.
A lot of people are interested in staying friends with their ex even if they can’t get them to come back. If you want to make certain that your ex is your friend if you can not get your ex to come back, the conservative strategy is the one for you to take. This involves slowly letting the relationship build and then going from good friends to lovers once the opportunity presents itself. Don't push your ex and don't push yourself. You have got time as friends that you are able to treasure until the opportune moment comes.
This strategy is frequently less successful at getting back to a romantic relationship than the aggressive one since the opportunities for change are fewer when you are being conservative. Nevertheless, it does not have the same blowback potential that the aggressive one has and therefore is better overall for making sure that you maintain some sort of positive relationship with your ex, even if that relationship is non-romantic in nature.
In the end, the decision that you make will have a lot to do with the priorities that you have. If you unquestionably want your ex back romantically and do not care about their friendship, you are more likely to go aggressive. If you want to preserve some sort of relationship with them at all costs, conservative is the obvious choice.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - A Sure Fire Method

If you're somebody that has had to suffer the sting of getting dumped by a boyfriend, you can trust that there are many around the world that feel your pain. Several right now are wondering precisely the same thing that you are.
If you would like to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, there's one thing that you must understand right now. While you may definitely be able to get your lover back after time spent apart, what you need to realize right now is that there may be a chance that it never happens. There are a lot of old clichés about love, but a lot of them do apply to situations where people have had love denied to them by somebody that used to be integral to their lives. The best thing that you are able to do for your life is prepare yourself to move on if it turns out that your ex is gone for good. This is the healthiest solution for anybody of any gender in the situation of pursuing an ex.
If you are determined to have your ex back and understand the risks mentioned above, here are a few things that you are able to do in order to make that work.
For starters, the thing you must not do if you would like to properly execute the plan is badger your ex. You wanted to know how to get your ex boyfriend back and this is precisely what the answer to that question is. The more you badger your former love, the more they'll pull away from you. If you ever want to see them back in your life as that special somebody, you need to give them breathing space and make them realize just how desirable you are. If they do not make that recognition, you'll never have that connection with them again.
What’s the best way to help them along to this realization? Actually, it is just to make yourself into a person that is really desirable. The good news here is that since your ex by definition already had to have been in a relationship with you before, they must find you desirable on some level. So the only work you need to do is make certain that you live generally happily and that you are warm and outgoing to other people when you are in the presence of your ex. The more they see that you seem to have adjusted healthily to life without them, the more likely they are to want to be in your life again.
The same is true for when you manage to get a date with your ex once more. A lot of people at this point would be tempted to shift all the way back into relationship mode. That's a disaster that you must avoid at all costs. Continue with the plan and you will have the best chance of producing the results that you want. This isn't a sure formula for getting your ex lover back, but it's definitely the one that's the best odds of working.

Monday, September 28, 2009

How To Get Your Ex To Fall Back In Love

The bad news, when it comes to finding out how to get your ex to fall back in love, is that your ex really hates you right now because they have dumped you. Therefore, you're going to need to be really delicate about getting them back to the place they were at when they were in love with you.
Nevertheless, the good news is that since you're trying to get your ex-lover to fall back in love with you, by definition they must have fallen in love with you the first time around. The good news from that is that since they've fallen in love with you once already, there's definitely a chance for them to be able to do it once again.
But how do you get them to go from that theoretically realization to actually making it take place? That's not as easy. Nevertheless, you need to fight the urge to yell and scream at them while pressuring them back into the relationship. This is how most people would react and it's unquestionably the bad way of doing things. Even if it ends up working in the end, you will be getting into an unhealthy relationship that likely will not end well for you or your ex. If you truly care about them, you should not want that for them.
One of primary things that you should do in order to get them back to the place where they were in love with you is show them the individual that you were. Chances are good that you changed from the person they fell in love with to the person they dumped. You need to rediscover the person inside you that they fell in love with and show them that person whenever you see them around. This might seem a little obvious, but it's definitely something that could work if you carry it through to its end. It's an obvious strategy, but one that's hard to accomplish.
Pride and stubbornness are two things that will do you in when you are learning how to get your ex to fall back in love. If you cling to the old arguments, you're sunk before you start. This is particularly true if some of those arguments are the ones that led to the breakup to begin with. All of that needs to be put aside if you're serious about once again winning the affections of your ex.
Will this plan guarantee that you'll be able to rediscover the love that your ex had for you? No it won't. But then again, there's no plan out there that could really do this for you. What this plan will do is allow you the best chance of reconnecting with your ex. It will peel everything that your ex disliked about you when they dumped you away and reveal the person underneath that they fell in love with. There's no better plan for trying to win them back.

Find Out How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

If you're somebody that's trying to find out how to get your ex girlfriend back, there's good news and bad news. Most people like the bad news first, so here goes. The bad news is that there's no sure fire technique for getting your ex-lover back. The fact of the matter is that a lot of exes are gone for good and at some point you may wind up having to deal with that and move on.
That was the bad news. The good news is that if you're willing to control a lot of your more natural instincts, you may end up finding that your ex has started to become interested in you once more.
The first instinct that you need to control is the instinct to yell and scream at your ex every time that you see them around. This is a really natural instinct, particularly if you were shocked by the breakup and feel betrayed by your ex-lover. Nevertheless, it is an instinct that you need to curb right here and right now if you ever want a decent shot at getting her back again. The more civil you are to her, the more probable it is that she will become interested in you again. So return her things that were at your place when you next see her and always be prepared to laugh and be merry around her. They may not seem like big things to you right now, but they could be the tipping point in the future.
The second instinct that you need to control is the instinct to decide right away how things are going to happen. A lot of people don't really care one way or the other whether their ex has a relationship far away from them or close to them so long as they know what the relationship will be right away. This is wrong. You should let your post-romance relationship develop naturally. With a few exes, your best position is being the individual they see every so often at parties. With a few, you are able to eventually become a best friend and a confidant. Take it slow and let them choose which way things will go. Both of these positions could lead to successful re-ignition of a relationship, so keep that in mind when trying to curb this instinct.
Finally, the third instinct that you need to curb if you ever would like to successfully find out how to get your ex girlfriend back is the instinct to force the issue. A lot of people will force the issue with their ex, forcing them to make a decision when they really are not ready for it. If you force the issue right away, obviously you will get a no from the ex. After all, she just broke up with you! You do not want to force the issue. Alternatively, you want to sit back and give them the space they need, pushing slowly later on after they've gotten over the feelings that made them dump you to begin with.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:

The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex girl back is to simply be yourself. If you truly would like to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to to begin with. Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you. You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the good person that you are. Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:

Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better. This is actually another one of those tips that's counter intuitive for some people. Many people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them. This is something that's likely to push them out of your life permanently. Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you. Give them that space and respect their privacy. Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and perhaps they will start to pick up the things that made them want you to begin with.

Move On Slowly:

Another thing that you are able to do is to move on slowly. This isn't something that’ll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back. What it will do for you however is begin to put your mind back into healthy mode. Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship. Most of the time, they are not coming back to you. If you move on slowly and begin to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally. That’ll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don’t Blow Opportunities:

The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment. If you do the things discussed above, your ex might begin to take an interest in you once again. If she does, make certain that you keep on doing those things. Be yourself, be honest and above all else don't pester them. If you suddenly begin to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you'll destroy all the progress you have made.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea

Here is a question that people have all the time. Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are a lot of people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you are able to think of on a daily basis. A lot of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them once again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it. The good to writing letters is that they'll allow you to express feelings that you may not otherwise be able to express. There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they would ever be able to say verbally. So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they could definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges. The most honest way to break up with somebody is in person, although a lot of people just do not have the backbone to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships. If you would like to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and view the previous good point about writing letters. Even though they could help you communicate things that you find difficult to communicate verbally, your ex in all likelihood already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you are able to change for the better for your ex and that is something that's more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this may be a bit of an academic debate. The reason for that is that a lot of times the direct approach isn't the best one when it comes to getting your ex back. Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach. If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship once again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along. That's far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally doesn't involve the writing of any letters. This means that at best, there's debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

What To Do When You Miss Your Ex


Do you miss your ex? Are you having trouble moving on? Here are seven strategies to pursue when you miss your ex.
1. Decide that it is over. As long as you think there is a chance to get back together, you will continue to experience feelings of missing your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. If you practice strategies like texting or phoning them trying to catch them off guard, you will continue to keep the feelings alive. When you miss your ex, try one of the other strategies presented here.
2. Get rid of all of their stuff. Do an exchange where you give them their stuff and they give you yours. Don’t hold on to physical items for sentimental reasons, it will just remind you of how much you miss your ex. If there are small things that you don’t give back (such as a tooth brush or a comb) throw them away. You don’t need the constant reminders.
3. Write them a letter – then burn it. One reason why you continue to miss your ex is because you haven’t gotten them out of your system. So, write a letter pouring out all of your feelings about the relationship and the break up. When you have released your emotions, then get rid of the letter. There is something emotionally satisfying about watching your words go up in smoke.
4. Reconnect with your friends. Sometimes when you get in a hot and heavy relationship, your ties to friends and even family wither. If this is the case, reconnect with your friends. Redevelop relationships that you have let simmer. Your friends and family love you even if your ex doesn’t anymore.
5. Make new friends. One of the reasons you miss your ex is because he or she took up so much of your time. Now, in addition to the intense emotional void you are feeling, you have time on your hands. Fill that time with new activities or interests. Take a class at the local university’s extension program. Learn to do the tango. Join a co-ed softball team. Volunteer to clean up the park through an environmental program. When you keep busy, you will find that closing the time void also helps you close the emotional void.
6. Get a pet. A dog, cat, or other pet can help you reconnect to what is real. A pet needs your attention and love. A pet can also give you love. When you miss your ex, you can reach out for a pet who loves you.
7. Start dating other people. The world moves on. There are lots of other fish in the sea. Once you reconnect with your friends, start new activities, and even start to walk the dog, you will begin to see all of the opportunities you have with the opposite sex. Don’t worry that a first date has to lead to a complicated relationship when you are not ready for one. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Soon, you will stop feeling that you miss your ex so much.
Follow these seven steps and you will soon find that you are not saying you miss your ex at all!

Stop My Divorce

Divorces are at an all time high. Some of the times it appears that it is easier to get a divorce than to get married.
People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Kids, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you might be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”
There are 3 steps to stopping a divorce.
The first thing that you have to recognize is that saying you have changed doesn't mean you actually have changed. If you're the person who's at fault in the relationship, it is not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.
If you've been having affairs, for example, it's going to take time for your partner to believe that you're no longer going back to your wandering ways. It's not enough to tell your partner that you are not stepping out any longer. You'll have to take concrete actions. As an example, you might need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you might have to seek a new job that keeps you close to home.
Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For example, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money troubles which weaken the marriage, she might have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too frequently, he might have to commit to being home by 6:30 nightly regardless what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it's your marriage, you'll make the necessary changes. But do not just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.
The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument won't win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.
Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.
You can not use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you'll lose.
Finally, do not think that you are able to win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they're right and their partner is wrong. This might work in a officially scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it is certain to fail. Rather than arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, talk about possible solutions rather than argue back.
Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Begin by following the “stop my divorce” advice I have laid out in this article.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Can Me And My Boyfriend Get Back Together

A lot of girls would like to know, “can me and my boyfriend get back together?” Well, part of the answer to that question depends on you and part depends on your ex boyfriend. This article will look at the things you are able to do to make it more probable that you and your boyfriend can get back together.
Firstly, you need to demonstrate that you've learned from past mistakes. You should look at what did not work the first time around and see if you are able to improve on it. Did he complain that you spent too much time with your girls? Then, plan to spend more time with him if you get back together.
The next thing you need to do is remind him of all of the good things in your relationship. Who were you when you first got together? Has anything changed? For example, when you got together were you a bubbly outgoing girl who had lots of things on your plate? Then, as you got more involved with him, did you drop a lot of your activities? Perhaps he dropped you because you were not as engaging as you used to be.
Put your hurt feelings aside and consider how you are able to support your ex boyfriend. While he is just a friend now, by being there to support him, perhaps you are able to turn the relationship back into something more.
If his friends were critical of you, that might have been the reason behind the break up. Try to win his friends over as they have a good deal of influence on who he opts to date.
One of the most powerful tools you have to get your ex boyfriend back is to reminisce about the good times you shared. As you put the positive memories in his mind, he will feel more like getting back together with you.
Go to the places you used to go together and do the activities you used to do together. Not alone will this make it more probable that you will just “run in” to your ex boyfriend, you'll also be developing the hobbies that he enjoys. Also, if there was a pastime that he encouraged you to take up while you were in the relationship, you may want to consider doing it now. It will signal to him that you've changed and have become even more interesting.
Always look your best. You never know when you might run into him. Guys are so much more visual than girls are. So, your appearance matters.
Be a positive person. Guys do not like depressed, whining girls. Be positive and upbeat around all kinds of people – but particularly your ex!
But, whatever you do, do not be too obvious that you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back. The pressure will make him like you less, not more.
You'll notice that the advice I have given you here will make you a more attractive girlfriend whether it's for your ex or for a new guy. That is because improving yourself will always get you a boyfriend.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I Miss My Ex Girlfriend

When you find yourself saying “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you need to find ways to move forward with your life. Regardless how bad the break up was, there is life after your ex. Finding your way through the depression that follows the end of the relationship can be difficult. That is why you need to take concrete actions to move forward.
Firstly, you need to work on bringing closure to the relationship. Closure is the process by which you move on from a situation. While you might find specific situations in which you say, “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you won't be in this state always.
Start by definitively saying that the relationship is over. As long as you think there's a chance that you can get your ex back, you won't be able to move on. Healing begins with putting an end to the relationship.
Next, you need to physically close the relationship. You do that by exchanging all of the possessions in the other’s care. Give her back the toothbrush and curling iron she kept at your house and ask her for the sweat shirt that she had borrowed for the long term. If you owed one another money, settle up.
Once you have your possessions back, give yourself some physical space. While you might want to remain friends with your ex in the end, staying away in the short term will facilitate healing. Don’t call, text, or e-mail one another. If she tries to contact you, screen her out.
And, do not show up at places she is likely to be. You do not want to give her any opening to get under your skin. Seeing her with another guy so soon will just prompt feelings of “I miss my ex girlfriend” all over again.
You might even need to change a few of your social habits. If you go to a small church, you might want to consider changing houses of worship at least in the short term. You might have to pick a new favorite bar or hang out also.
When you start going new places, you'll inevitably meet new people. Some of these people will be female. These new women are good prospects for dates.
While it might seem right now that you will never want to date another woman, the truth is that the sooner you get back on the dating scene, the sooner you will begin to heal.
It might not be enough to just be available though. Consider actively seeking out women. Take a class at the local university’s extension program. Join a co-ed softball team. Take up a new hobby. All of these strategies will allow you to begin meeting new women.
If a woman intrigues you, ask her out even if you can not picture yourself in a long term relationship with her. A date is just a fun social experience, not a commitment.
Pretty soon, you will not be saying “I miss my ex girlfriend” nearly as often. You will have moved on with your life.

Get My Ex Back

Do you wonder “how do I get my ex back?” This article will show you five different strategies to get my ex back. These are not strategies that can be done in conjunction with each other. Pick one path and stick to it.
The second path is to be needy. This isn't a suggested path. When you're needy, you write lots of love letters, pester them with dozens of texts or e-mails, and call them at least 5 times a day. Unless your ex is a real wimp, this will in all likelihood turn them off rather than get your ex back.
The alternative to being needy is the second path which is to be available. If you have some hope that your ex will want you back after you have given them a little bit of space, your best strategy is merely to be available. Answer their phone calls and e-mails, give them a shoulder to cry on, and do not harass them about getting back together. It’s all right to go on with your life and date others during this period, but do not flaunt it in your ex’s face.
If you follow the available path, you will just “show up” places where your ex is likely to be hanging out. You will find occasional excuses to call your ex (but never more than once every few days).
In this path, you'll also send emissaries to him or his friends broaching a reconciliation.
But if you do not think being available is going to work, you are able to choose the third path which is to be aggressive – about others. If you choose the aggressive path, you're going to play on one of mankind’s primal urges, namely jealousy.
This third path could also be called “date your ex’s best friend” because that is one of the strategies on this path.
What you will want to do is make yourself your ex’s dream girl (or guy) and then pursue his friends. When you show up at places he or she hangs out, you will pay lavish attention to your ex’s friends and none whatsoever to him or her.
When you do land a date with your ex’s friend, you should text your ex and ask him what sort of restaurant to make reservations at for your date. Get in your ex’s face with the fact that you're on the market.
As your ex sees that you're a valuable commodity, they will want you back. Jealousy is a powerful human emotion.
Be aware that playing games like this could backfire. If you invest a lot of emotion in “tricking” your ex into wanting you and he or she really is over you, you may hurt yourself badly. Only you can decide whether this strategy is worth the consequences it might cause you.
So, there are three different paths to how to “get my ex back.”

Monday, September 21, 2009

Relationships - Break Up To Make Up

This is your guide: Relationships – Break Up to Make Up. The break up might be just the first stage in getting back together with an ex.
If you had been dating for any length of time, you and your ex had a lot invested in the relationship. You obviously loved and cared for one another. But something failed and one of you decided to call it quits. How you handle the relationship break up might have a lot to do with whether you can ever make up.
If you're the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion. Whether you are genuinely calling it quits or just wanting a break, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.
It is normally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place. That is because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around. Also, do not draw the break up out. Just say your piece and leave.
Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open. Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.
Do not play games with your ex. Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.
If you've found that you would like to get back together with your ex, consider the following:
· Tell them that you are interested· Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends· Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.
Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity. During this time, you are able to bring up the positive memories you shared. You are able to also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.
If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, do not assume that you are able to begin right back where you left off. Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates. Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.
Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up. Do not assume that your ex’s feelings were not hurt by the cooling off period.
Continue improving yourself. Do not fall into bad habits just because you have got your ex back. Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.
That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.

Consider Counseling To Help Save Marriage

If your relationship is in trouble, you might want to consider counseling to help save marriage. Your marriage is the central point in your life. All of your other relationships – with children, with family, and with friends – revolve around the marriage axis. Therefore, there's a need to help save marriage.
How do you know if marriage counseling is right for you? If you have any of these problems, you coulded want to consider counseling to help save your marriage:
· Infidelity· Communication· Conflict· Work-Life Balance· Problems with Children· Blended Family Issues· Family Violence· Substance Abuse
A family counselor or therapist will be able to help you to enhance your family relationship by helping you to explore effective communication techniques, conflict resolution solutions, and other kinds of “coping skills” that will make your family work better. A therapist could also help you work on resolving deep issues that have carried over from childhood traumas.
So, how to you select a family therapist? Well, you should know that you do not have to pick the first one you call. It's perfectly acceptable to interview 3 to 5 counselors before choosing which therapist will work best for you and your spouse.
Some of the questions you may want to ask include:
· Have you worked with couples experiencing the difficulties we are having?· What should I expect from counseling?· What are your treatment methods?· What are your prices?
You can find the names of therapists by asking for referrals from friends or family members who have tried counseling themselves. There are also referral services set up by non-profit boards who could give you the name or names of licensed professionals.
If you don't get a satisfactory number of referrals, you may want to check out therapist’s sites on the internet. When the yellow pages was the only source of advertising for therapists, the consumer would get little more than a name and a phone number. But now, a counselor’s site could include a resume, articles he or she has written, and a description of their practice. You can get an idea of how a therapist will work from his or her internet site.
You do want to make certain that the therapist you choose is licensed. Some therapists have what is known as a MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist License) which can only be obtained after a therapist completes both a master’s degree in Psychology and 1500 hours of internship work under another licensed therapist. Other acceptable licenses include the LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), Ph.D or Psy.D. (Psychologist with a doctorate degree) and M.D. (Psychiatrist.)
You want to prefer a licensed professional because there are educational, internship, and practice standards that must be maintained to retain the license. “Relationship coaches” and others with similar names don't have similar obligations.
Different counselors have different payment options. Some offer sliding scale fees while others are able to take insurance.

The Best Way To Save Marriage Embrace Conflict

In a lot of states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are “irreconcilable differences” and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that's inherent in a close partnership between two people.
We frequently think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at one another always. But if these couples could communicate their needs through elevated voices, they're actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.
It's these silent couples who need to save marriage through embracing conflict.
While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who do not acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to break up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.
So, if you would like to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:
· Allow enough time for proper communication. If you're not spending enough time together to air your differences and share your strengths, you'll find your relationship is in trouble. Work on building couple’s time back into your life. For example, make a point of eating dinner together numerous times a week or going out on a date very week.
· Really listen when your partner speaks. It's amazing how much we tune out our partners. He or she might be telling you what you need to know. But, if you're not listening, it's all in vain.
· Determine why your partner is annoyed. When your husband or wife is being especially grouchy, determine what is really going on. Occasionally, it might be that you have done something that's annoyed them. Other times, it might be that something completely unrelated has happened. But you will not know unless you ask.
· Get inside his or her world. As couples start to drift apart, they begin to live in separate worlds. When you make an attempt to get inside his or her world, you might just save the marriage.
· Stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse’s needs. But, do not be quick to judge or criticize.
· Be honest. One of the biggest problems for people who do not like conflict is that they can not be honest about what they want and need. When you begin to express honest opinions about things, you'll start to save marriage.
Marriage is hard work. But, if it's worth it to you to save marriage, you'll do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I Miss My Ex Boyfriend

After you break up with a guy, there's a period of loneliness. Not alone are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there's also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did. If you're saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are a few ways to get past the feeling.
There are two steps to getting over an ex. The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to begin on the next phase of your life.
Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life. There are a lot of things you are able to do to stop saying “I miss my ex boyfriend.”
Firstly, you should determine that he does not want you back. As long as you think that there's a chance you are able to get back together, you will not start to heal.
To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have. Do not keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket. If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up.
If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.
Do not contact him and do not let him contact you. Maybe you are able to be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives. If you give in and answer his telephone calls, e-mails, or texts, you're just letting a wound fester.
If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it. Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up. But do not send it to him. Throw it away, or even better, burn it. This will help you bring closure to the relationship.
After you have gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, begin putting yourself out there again. It might feel awkward initially, but you're going to have to face life as a single person sometime. The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you'll meet somebody new.
If your ex took up a big part of your life, you'll want to find new past times. This might mean reconnecting with your girlfriends. Or, it might mean going out and finding new friends.
One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new. Join a class or a co-ed sports team. See if your local book store has a monthly book club. Begin going to church again.
While it might be difficult to get started on the social scene again, you'll find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you're engaged in activities you enjoy.
When you have the opportunity to, start dating again. Even if the first guy isn’t somebody you are able to see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies. As you get back into the routine of dating, you'll be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.
Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

How To Save My Marriage

Do you wonder “how to save my marriage?” This article tells you how to save your marriage.
First, you need to identify the trouble in your relationship. Some common troubles include:
· Money concerns· Child rearing difficulties· Lack of sex· Lack of communication· Loss of identity
And, of course, there are many others. You may discover that there is one main problem or you may identify several smaller problems that are eating away at your marriage.
When you identify the problem or problems that are at the root of your marriage troubles, you will be able to move on to the next step which is close, personal interaction.
In this step, you will need to be open to extensive conversation. If you have not had a lot of open communication during your marriage, you may want to consider counseling in order to facilitate the personal interaction that is key to this step.
If you really want to save your marriage, you will set aside time to work on your marriage issues every single day. You could set aside some time like after the children go to bed or you could decide to take a walk after dinner every day for just the two of you. But, you should plan to get back in touch with each other. A daily habit of quality time with your spouse is very important.
Take some “romantic time” each week. For some couples, this means reinstating a “date night” every week. On Tuesdays, for instance, you get a sitter and go out for a picnic or walk around the mall. As you can see, this doesn’t have to involve wine and roses every week, but a romantic time that you can look forward to all week is essential.
As you spend time together being romantic and discussing your problems, you must have an open mind toward what your partner is telling you. You need to understand that a lot of the problems in your marriage are caused by – get this – you! Until you really listen to your partner, you are not going to be able to effect the kind of personal change necessary to save your marriage.
You need to have faith in your partner. You need to give him or her the benefit of the doubt. You need to believe that the marriage still can and will work. You also need to believe that your partner is still essentially the same person he or she was when you married them. If you cannot have faith in your partner and in your marriage, you might as well give up now.
Finally, you have to be open to forgiveness. If your partner has made mistakes – even major ones – you must be able to forgive. If you insist that there are things that cannot be forgiven, there is no hope for your marriage.
Everyone makes mistakes. Some people make big mistakes. If that person makes a genuine apology – which includes acts of contrition and an effort to change – they deserve forgiveness.
This article gave you answers to that perplexing question, “how to save my marriage.”

Do You Want To Save Your Marriage

I have one question for you: do you want to save your marriage? If the answer is yes, you have a difficult road ahead of you. But, before you begin down that path, you have to answer this question in the affirmative.
Take a hard look at the state of your marriage. Is this the person you want to be with in 5 years?
If not, you do not need to read any further. Just go down to the closest divorce attorney.
Still with me? Good. I am going to show you how to save your marriage.
Once you've decided that your marriage is worth saving, you are able to begin to do the work that's necessary. Do not even think about going to the divorce lawyer any longer. You have made the commitment to stick with your relationship.
Now that you have put divorce out of your mind, accept that there will have to be changes in the relationship. If you want the relationship to work more than your partner does, then you are the one who's going to have to do the most changing. That is a simple fact. It's like the person who's the bigger aversion to messiness usually does the most cleaning around the house. The person who wants the relationship to work more will have to do the most changing.
You have to be prepared to talk more too. Set aside time to get to know your partner once again. If he or she has hobbies that they're willing to share with you, get involved even if you're not all that into darts or scrap-booking.
If your partner is willing to agree to it, marriage counseling might be what you need to save your marriage. A relationship counselor or therapist will be able to look at your marriage from the outside, ask probing questions, and get you to open up to one another.
There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Once you have the “idea” out of your head, you will be able to work on what is real and what is good. These are the standards you should be applying to your marriage.
Do you want to save your marriage? Good. But know the hard work lies ahead.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Do I Need Free Love Spells To Get Him Back

If you've just broken up with your boyfriend or husband and are at the end of your rope trying to get him back you might be at the point where you would consider anything. If you're asking the question:" Do I need free love spells to get him back?" then you really need to read the rest of this article.

Before you start dabbling in magic there might be a simpler and easier way to go. Just communicating with him in a calm and rational manner might be all it will take. At this point in the game an actual 'old fashioned' written letter sent in the mail might be a good way to let him know where you are coming from.

Texts are just too impersonal. It's hard to truly explain how you feel with an electronic delivery system. But sending a letter handwritten by you will surely get his attention.

For the letter to be effective you have to make sure that you keep a few points in mind:

1) Don't be negative. This isn't the time for guilt trips, venting your anger, or whining about your broken heart. This is the time to honestly own whatever part you played in the breakup of the relationship.

Even if most of the blame is his you still had something that you did wrong and regret. Explain why you did what you did. Don't try to justify it, just explain what you were thinking at the time and why you took the actions you took.

2) Don't promise that you'll change. You should be honest with yourself about anything that you need to work on but that's it. You arn't going to change yourself and remake yourself for every boyfriend you have. That's not healthy. But you can and should work on improving yourself. And you can tell him what you plan to work on and why.
3) Talk a little about your life now, without him. Don't brag about a new guy and try to make him jealous and don't sound all down and whiny. Just tell him something good. Not all the details but just enough to pique his curiosity. Make sure you end your letter with something positive, something that reminds him of the wonderful, fun loving women he fell in love with.

You don't have to resort to free love spells to get him back all you need to do is find a way to remind him of how great you are and how great the two of you used to be. If you can do this and intrigue him all over again you will have a better chance of getting back with your ex.

What Are The Most Effective Get Him Back Secrets

If you are going through a breakup that you do not want you may be wondering how you are able to get back with your ex. Are there truly any "get him back secrets" and if so, what are they?

If you're seeking some relationship secrets I have got good news and I have got bad news.

The bad news is that there aren't, at least as far as I have ever heard, any secret techniques to get back with your ex. There are no secret potions or love spells or magic tricks that will bring your ex back crawling on his hands and knees just pleading with you to take him back.

The good news is that you do not need secrets. All you need is an easy to follow, simple step by step "road map" that you are able to use to reconcile with your ex. If you find a good plan and follow it, even though it might be difficult occasionally to stick to, the results that you get may have you believing that it was magical after all!

If you really want to get back with your ex the first thing you need to do, even though this is going to sound weird, is to stop talking to him. If you're constantly contacting him this will likely backfire for a couple of reasons:

1) He will not be able to miss you. You want him to begin to doubt his decision to end the relationship. He needs to miss the times you spent together and the things you did. If you are constantly trying to contact him how can he miss you?

2) If you will not leave him alone you're just becoming an annoyance. That is not how you want him to think of you, is it?

Another thing you have to avoid is the tendency to want to fix the relationship and change yourself so he will come back. While it's important for you to understand what qualities you have that may need some work, you should never change who you are just to accommodate somebody else.

If the two of you aren't compatible then it is time for you to move on, regardless how painful it might be. It is simply not healthy for you to reinvent yourself for every relationship you have and it's a great way to find yourself in one abusive relationship after another.

And last, but not least, communicate. That does not mean cry, nag, beg or threaten. That means to have an adult conversation where you can openly and honestly explain to him how you are feeling. It's also important that you let him tell you how he is feeling also. This isn't the time to get angry or upset over what he tells you. This needs to be a 'safe zone' for both of you to honestly express yourself.

If you think that your relationship truly is worth saving and you want " get him back secrets" than follow the list above. This is an truthful and proven way to reconcile with your love.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Can Positive Thinking Get My Boyfriend Back

After going through a difficult breakup most people would be willing to try just about anything to stop the pain and get their love back. If you've done everything you are able to think of to do and are now wondering, 'how to get back with ex boyfriend?", then this article is for you.
There has been a lot of talk lately about the effects of positive thinking and how it could impact your day-to-day life. Using this process to get back with your boyfriend seems like a logical next step. But it isn't the do all, end all you might have heard. There's more to it than just the thinking part.
To successfully use positive thinking to make the desired changes in your life you have to remember that it takes two steps: picture what you want, and take specific action to make that want a reality.
Just sitting around day dreaming about getting your boyfriend back will not do it. But thinking about getting your boyfriend back while you take positive steps to make it happen will be more likely to work.
So what positive steps should you be taking? Generally this is where most people mess up, they take a lot of action but it is all the wrong kinds of action.
You do not want to constantly text, e-mail and call your ex. That will not accomplish a thing except perhaps a restraining order. What you want to do is leave it alone.
I know this sounds wrong, but it's not. No one is attracted to a clingy, weepy, desperate person and your ex won't be either. You need to take a step back and spend some time working on you. Do not change who you are to get your boyfriend back, but honestly analyze any areas in your life that could use a little change of attitude. This is for you not for him.
The beauty of this is that you make yourself into a better person all the while giving him time to miss you and remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.
That way no matter what happens, whether you get back together or not, you will have grown as a person and will have more to offer whomever you find yourself in a relationship with.
Can positive thinking get my boyfriend back? Yes...sort of. Just remember that positive thinking is only step 1 in a 2 step method. Use both steps to have the absolute best chance of accomplishing your goals.

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I am sorry. If you are reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship. I know how hard that could be. If you're asking, 'How can I save our relationship?" I do have a few tips that may be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a a couple of things you have to consider really carefully and truthfully first. You have to decide why you want to save your relationship. That may sound like a dumb comment to make but occasionally we cling to things that we should just let go. We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone. Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make certain that it should be saved.

Now that you have done your honest soul searching and you have determined that your relationship is worth saving here are a a couple of tips you are able to follow which should help:

1) It's not all about you. So frequently in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden. They are the 'fixer'. They're the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage. If that person is you than you have to recognize that you can not do it all. If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. When a relationship begins to falter there are many hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties. These hurts can build up into a big wall of resentment. That wall is really difficult to tear down. It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you may need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that could help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it. If you have screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it. This is key. Remember in step 2 when I discussed resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your errors and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you might have caused. To somebody who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a really sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you'll be well on your way to answering the question " how can i save our relationship?". Remember, the problems did not spring up overnight and they are not going to go away overnight either. But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

How Do I Get Back With Ex Husband

Divorce. Yuck! Now that you have gone through that hell on Earth you might be starting to think that the whole thing was a big mistake. If you want to know how to get back with ex husband this article can help.

If you went to a therapist after your divorce and asked how to get back with your ex one of the first things they would in all likelihood do is ask you why you wanted to take them back.

That's a great question. If you have had time to truthfully evaluate your marriage and have come to the conclusion that you ended it too soon without trying hard enough to save it then that's one thing.

But if you, like so many others, are just now facing the fear and uncertainty of being newly single and are beginning to think being in a bad marriage is better than being alone you really need to find some help to get over the feelings of loneliness and depression before you do something you will regret.

If you are positive that getting back with your ex is the best thing for both of you, here are a a couple of simple steps you are able to follow:

1) Try to talk to him. Not yell or nag, but talk. And listen. Try to honestly and maturely talk about why the relationship ended. What misunderstandings took you so far away from each other.

If the two of you can honestly discuss how you are feeling, without recriminations, than you might actually see that you are not that far apart after all. You have just been coming at it from opposite directions.

2) Take some time to honestly evaluate what part you played in the deterioration of your marriage. No one is ever totally blameless. What was your part and are you willing to change whatever behavior it was that contributed to the breakup?

3) Try to find resources that will help the two of you communicate. So many couples just have a difficult time expressing themselves and listening to their partners. If you are able to find a way to work around this you may have a shot at not only getting back with your ex but also of making your marriage what you would truly like it to be.

Divorce is one of the ugliest and hardest things we can go through. If you have come to the conclusion that yours was a mistake and you want to know how to get back with ex husband then following these tips will be a good first step in the right direction.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Get Back Your Love In 3 Easy Steps

All right you are broken up because you've lost the love of your life and now you want them back. But is it possible to get back your love? If so, then how? Let me show you...

I know it is a cliche, but it is true: breaking up is hard to do. That's why people almost always do the wrong thing when they're going through a breakup. They are hurt, angry and scared and they just react. And that's where the trouble begins.

If you want to get back with your love you need to follow a couple of simple tips. Following these tips will not always be easy but you will have a much better chance of getting back together with your ex then you would if you do not follow them.

1) Do not suffocate them. Even though it is hard to keep your distance that's precisely what you have to do. Even when you want to scream at them that they're being dumb and they are throwing away a wonderful relationship you need to hold that in.

You need to give your ex time to miss you. If you make them angry by pursuing them relentlessly you will lose them forever. And this is precisely what most people do.

2) Do not spend too much time worrying about them, concentrate on you. Now would be a good time for you to take stock of you. Decide what traits you have that may have contributed to the relationship falling apart and try to fix them.

Remember, you aren't fixing them to get your ex back, you're fixing them because they need to be fixed and you want to be the best person you are able to be.

No matter what happens with your ex, whether you get back together with them or not, if you take this important step now you'll grow as a person and that could only make your future relationships much better.

3) At some point the two of you will need to talk. Don't do this right away even though that's what you will want to do. You both need time to let things cool off otherwise any conversation you have is likely to end up with crying, or screaming, or both.

Once a little time has gone by you both could realize that you miss one another and hopefully have an honest conversation about what each of you is feeling and where you would like to go from that point on.

Just remember this isn't about proving that you are right and they are wrong. It is about trying to truthfully evaluate and understand each other's viewpoint. That's the only way you are able to build a solid relationship.

Following these 3 seemingly simple steps could really help you get back your love. It is not going to be easy but it is the only way to reconcile and build something strong for the future.

Friday, September 11, 2009

What Is The Best Way To Get A Woman Back

Few things in life suck as much as losing somebody you love. It is really difficult to deal with and a lot of people will do just about anything to find out the best way to get a woman back. If you want to get back with your ex, do not give up. It's possible and I will show you how.

In order to get back with your ex you are going to need to think outside the box. When most people are trying to get back with their ex they almost always do the wrong things.

That is why listening to your friends may be the worst thing you are able to do because chances are they will tell you to do the exact opposite of what you should actually be doing.

Here is a list of some Do's and Don'ts. Follow this list and you will have a much better chance of getting back with your ex.

DON'T S

1) Harass, badger, nag, or threaten. No one likes to be pushed. Do not chase after her. She already gets the fact that you still care and you want her back, now it is time to back off a little bit and give her some space.

2) Lock yourself in your house and never go out. This is what a lot of people do. They go to work but other than that they just hide in a dark room.

3) Hookup with somebody else. Not only is this a good way to lose your girlfriend for good, it is also unfair to the new woman. You would just be using her to get over your hurt.


DO'S

1) Give your woman some space. Give her time to miss you. She can not remember you fondly and miss you if you're constantly in her face. This could be really hard to do but it is one of the most important things to remember if you want her back.

2) Go out with your friends. Try to have fun. It will be difficult, but it is really important not only for your mental health but also so that your ex will begin to see you, again, as a fun loving person. The way she saw you when you first got together.

3) Be honest about whether or not the relationship is worth saving. Not all relationships should be saved. Also be willing to honestly admit whatever part you had in the relationship falling apart and be willing to make some changes to your behavior.

Follow the steps I have listed above and you will be much more likely to get a woman back.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ex Girlfriend Wanting To Get Back - How Do I Do It

It is a classic and tragic story. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy just wants girl back. It is so common that you could place an ad in the local paper: "ex girlfriend wanting to get back, please help."

Even though it happens daily that does not make it any easier when it is you that's going through it. It's still painful and it still sucks.

You do not need to give up though. There are a a couple of things you are able to do that will make things easier, make you a better man and perhaps help you get your ex girlfriend back also.

1) The first thing you want to do is cease and desist all calls, texts, e-mails, etc. It will be one of the most difficult things you have ever done but you have to stop chasing her. Think about it for a minute. When somebody is chased what do they do? That's right, they run. You do not want to push her further away from you. Back off and give her some space.

Remember, no one likes a weak, whiny, insecure person. That's just not a turn on. Your ex is no different. Do not cling or you'll only push her further away.

2) Have fun. I know that this sounds like absurd advice, but it is important. It sort of relates to step 1. Go out with friends and try to live everyday to the fullest. If you are able to do this you'll benefit in a few ways.

For one thing she will hear about all the fun you are having and she will begin to miss the fun the two of you used to have. She will also think of why she fell in love with you to begin with.

It will also help you to keep your mind off of your ex for a little while. That is a great way to keep from going crazy during this hard time.

A word of caution though: do not use this step as a pathetic and childish attempt to make her jealous. That is very immature and does not work. If you truly care about your ex and you want her back you should avoid stupid, destructive and childish games. No good relationship can ever be built on those traits.

3) Try to communicate with her. Do not argue, or badger. Just talk...and listen. This isn't about being right, it is about trying to truly understand where the other person is coming from. This is a time to put your ego on hold.

If you feel like you should place an ad in your local paper that says: "ex girlfriend wanting to get back" than you're pretty serious about getting your ex back. Follow the simple tips I have listed here and you have a much better shot at making that happen. And you can save the money on the ad!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

What Are The Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup

The emotional roller coaster of a painful breakup typically affects both parties in similar ways. The intensity might be different for the person who wanted the breakup than for the 'dumpee', but both people will go through the emotional stages of a relationship breakup.

Knowing and recognizing the different steps for what they are could help you move through the process a little easier. Each stage is essential so you are able to heal and be whole and able to find love again some day. Do not try to shrotcut the steps, just remember that after you have gone through each step you will be on the road to feeling better.

There's no time limit for how long each step should take to get through. How long it takes will depend on numerous things such as how secure you're in yourself and what type of a support system you have.

Here are the 5 major steps in a relationship breakup:

1) Pain. This will frequently hit hard and fast. At first the pain can be diminished somewhat by a feeling of disbelief but once that passes the pain can seem unbearable. This is a physical pain. You might not be able to eat or sleep. Everything seems like too much effort. You just want to crawl into a corner and be left alone.

2) Denial. This is the step when you start thinking that it is all a big mistake and surely your ex will realize it very soon and the two of you will be back together. That can be a dangerous way to think. It is important that you try to move through this stage as quickly as possible. Lingering too long in this stage can really make it harder to heal and move on.

3) Anger. This is when all your fear and hurt turns to anger. You are outraged that someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deeply. This stage is very destructive and hurtful to both parties and if you're not careful how you handle this stage you migh sabotage any chances you have of getting back together.

It's also important to make sure you don't become overly bitter. If you let that bitterness grow too strong it could follow you into other relationships making it harder to ever having a fulfilling relationship again.

4) Grieving. At this stage you will mourn your lost relationship. You will often spend a lot of time reminiscing about all the good times the two of you had shared. It is very important to keep a close watch on your mental health during this stage.

If you ever feel like 'ending it all' make sure you seek help immediately. It is impossible to believe while going through this but you really will love again, if you allow yourself to.

5) Acceptance. You will finally reach a point where you realize it's over. You are stronger and better able to start thinking more about your future and less about your past. This time can be bittersweet: you've realized and dealt with the fact that your relationship is over which is sad, but you're also excited about new opportunities and convinced you will find love again.

The more you know about the emotional stages of a relationship breakup
and how to deal with them the easier and quicker you can move on from living in the past to a bright new future. Just make sure you understand that this is all normal and it will get better, just hang in there.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner - Before You Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

It does not matter if you have been in a relationship for a while or if it is brand new, most people will reach a point where they're considering taking their relationship to the next level. The next level may mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle. Regardless what the next level is for you, now is the time to begin evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it might seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be really hard. There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation could be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you might already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you have fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see. Few people will still have the strength to truthfully admit that there may be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is good.

2) During the early days and most of the 'dating phase' of a relationship your partner, and you, can be really guarded and careful of what they let the other see. With a few people it is a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other's it is a more innocent "putting the best foot forward" type of thing.

Either way this tendency could make an honest evaluation really hard.

One of the most important things you are able to do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It is also important to take your time. Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someoone so badly they're willing to be mis-treated just so they do not have to be alone.

If you truly want a strong relationship make certain you are strong first. If you're happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you will not be so desperate for a relationship that you allow yourself to be mis-treated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do. The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they truly are and not just as you want them to be. That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentiallly abusive relationship.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I Lost Love

Are you still holding a candle for your ex, telling your friends and family 'I lost the love of my life'? If that sounds like you then there may still be hope to get your relationship back. There are a few things anybody can do to make an ex fall madly in love with you all over again. You truly can rekindle that old flame.
The first thing you need to think about is what may have gone wrong. Stop worrying about telling people 'I lost love' and think about what positive steps you are able to take instead. When you are able to identify what you think went wrong in the relationship, you are in a good position to begin working on tactics to rectify it and then put some things in place to get your relationship back.
All relationships begin filled with excitement and adrenaline. You both want to please the other person, so you make a big effort to look good and say the right things. You both enjoy each others company, because you are both trying very hard to be pleasant.
At this point most relationships move into a comfortable phase, where you both feel a bit more relaxed. This is the phase where a lot of relationships break up and it can take anywhere from a month to a year to reach this point, and even longer with others.
Regrettably, some women misread the signals from their man. They think his comfortable phase means he's pulling away. Most women's first instinct is to try hard to bring him closer again. The common tactic they try is to cling tighter to him, wanting to see him more frequently and wanting him to reassure her that he's not leaving.
The fact is men view these tactics as desperation and neediness, which makes them pull away. When their fun-loving, happy girlfriends begin these frantic efforts to cling to them, men feel as though they have lost the girl they fell in love with. Alternatively, they have a stranger who's making him feel as though he can not do anything right. This is the primary reason why men begin to pull away from their girlfriends.
By taking a bit of time out after a break up and working on finding your own confidence again means that you will realize you've the power to make yourself happy. You can pursue interests that please you or hang out with friends who make you feel good. These activities should also help you to realize that you do not need your ex to make you feel happy. You are able to do that yourself.
With your new self-confidence and positive attitude, you are in a much better position to call your ex and suggest getting together for a friendly chat over a cup of coffee. Let him see that you have found that happy, confident girl he fell in love with and his feelings will come rushing back. Remember, in the beginning of your relationship, it was the happy, easy going version of you that he fell in love with.
No relationship is perfect and of course you will have moments where things aren't so perfect, but by making sure you both enjoy the time you spend with each other, you will be less likely to be telling people 'I lost love' and more likely to tell people 'I found the love of my life'.

Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it's possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you have already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles could also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that may possibly be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they frequently believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have really different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by discussing the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Rather than talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they're capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will start to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he will withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who's a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. As a matter of fact, he will likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will frequently find themselves doing whatever they can to make certain you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it hard to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you are more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly also.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will start to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and pleasant to spend time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you are able to do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they will also work equally well if you are trying to get your ex back.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship may seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and regardless what they do, their partner appears to be pulling further and further away from them. In an attempt to pull their relationship back together, a lot of people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but regrettably these tactics could occasionally end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you are able to put to good use for you when you are saving a relationship. Most relationships move through numerous phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with one another.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you would expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

A lot of women start trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

Actually, these actions are driving you further apart rather than saving a relationship that was once good fun to be a part of. If you are serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you will need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. A lot of women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make certain your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with one another, you felt secure that you did not need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned earlier, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you are attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it is natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with one another, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. A lot of people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you are working on saving a relationship does not mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. As a matter of fact, this may break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most often they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It is natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you are able to use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. A lot of people start to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships start to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can frequently make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Rather than giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

1. Small Talk

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk does not mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

Small talk is merely sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2. Eye Contact

How many times do you truly look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, a lot of people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they do not make eye contact.

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with one another, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you also in non-sexual ways could help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and do not have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you are out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in one another that could be really effective relationship self help techniques.

4. Appreciation

Rather than focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them in the first place, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and do not waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5. Time Out

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it is normal to enjoy each other's company, it is also important to remember that everybody needs a little recess from time to time.

This may be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that a lot of couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage one another to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

How To Get Back With Ex

Are you thinking about ways how to get back with ex? Almost every adult on the planet has gone through a relationship break up at some point in their lives. Most of the time people simply move through the hurt and try to move on.
What these people do not realize is that around 90% of all relationship break ups could have been stopped and if they have already happened, then they could be reversed.
The first step in learning how to get back with your ex is to look objectively at how come the break up happened. You will not be able to change the reasons why you broke up, but you should be objective enough to realize that it takes two. This means accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship, understanding what mistakes you may have made and learning from them.
Try to think about what specific attributes attracted your ex to you when you first met. This does not necessarily mean your looks. It means ask yourself what did you do back then that made him so happy to spend plenty of time in your company?
Compare this to the time you spent together just before the break up. Was he becoming distant, which made you want to hang onto him even tighter? Was he pulling away, which made you try hard to let him know how much you loved him? Maybe you spent plenty of time analyzing the relationship in an effort to fix it before the break up happened.
Each of these things spells 'needy' to a male, yet the biggest thing that attracts most men to their partners is a happy, confident girl that makes them feel good to be around. Neediness could frequently push a man away from even the best relationship.
Work hard on regaining your confidence and your happiness. Remember, these are the things your ex fell in love with to begin with, and they are the same things that can make your ex fall in love with you all over again.
Men and women communicate very differently to one another. When a woman is trying to find out how to get back with her ex, she will attempt to get her ex to talk about what went wrong. She wants to analyze and fix whatever was broken in the relationship.
Men will not view this as a sign that it should be fixed or that you should get back together. They simply view it as being too needy and they'll start wondering how to find somebody who makes their time spent together happy and fun again.
The next big positive step you can take to get back with your ex is to arrange to meet for a chat about the possibility of remaining in touch with one another. Do not be surprised if he's initially a bit hesitant. After all, he will be remembering only the reasons you broke up.
He will need some gentle reminding about all the reasons he fell in love with you in order to make him realize you were one of the best things that had happened to him. Your gentle reminders should be to show him that you are happy and confident again, just like you were when he fell in love with you the first time. You should not be yelling at him or blaming or accusing and you should not be telling him all the good things you did. These things do not work. Merely allow him to see the happy, confident, independent person that swept him off his feet and his feelings will begin to re-emerge all on their own. Then you will have a strong foundation for how to get back with your ex.