Sunday, February 28, 2010

4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

It can be incredibly difficult to tell your sweetheart that you are sorry. For some, it can be difficult because of the embarrassment that they feel from their wrong-doings. For others, it can be difficult because they are simply too stubborn to apologize for something. Either way, it is important to say sorry to someone that you care about when you have done something wrong. If you are struggling with an apology, consider these 4 ways to say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The Simple Apology

Sometimes, all you need to do is give your boyfriend a simple apology. This form of apology is best for those small issues that don't really require serious thought. This can be the hardest apology for those who have issues with their ego, as those that are stubborn often hate apologizing. It is also important to note that the simple apology may not work for bigger issues. If the wrong-doing is somewhat serious, a simple apology will come across as insincere.

The Long Talk

If you have done something wrong, you may need to sit down and have a talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel, and why they are upset. Apologize, but talk about this apology. Talk to your significant other about what you did, and the steps that you will take to ensure that it never happens again. A long and serious talk is the most heartfelt way to apologize to your soul mate.

Giving Gifts

Gift giving is often seen as a secondary way to apologize for an action. While you have a normal apology, you back the apology up with gifts. The gifts are intended to make up for the problem. While gift giving will not solve your problems, it can help to make your sweet thing feel better. They may be more willing to accept your apology if you are making the extra effort to make them happy.

Going Out

Another way to support your apology is to treat your honey to a night out. Your lover may feel better about the situation if they can enjoy a night with you. While the apology is important, it is also important to remember why you are together. If you enjoy a night together, your apology may be accepted more easily.

You need to think about the action that you are apologizing for before you actually make the apology. There may be some instances that will benefit from a simple apology. There are other issues that may require a more intense apology.

Take the time to fully understand the reason for the apology and the apology method that will be appropriate. While it may seem like a lot of work, you want to make sure that you say sorry to your boyfriend in a way that will mend your relationship.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

4 Reasons to Skip the Is He The Right Boyfriend Quiz

There are multiple quizzes online that aim to help you understand your relationship. These quizzes aim to evaluate your boyfriend and your relationship, as they want to be able to tell you whether or not your boyfriend is the right person for you. Unfortunately, these quizzes are inaccurate, and should never be relied on. These are 4 reasons to skip the 'Is he the Right Boyfriend' Quiz.

The Quiz Is Not Personal

The different quizzes that you will find about boyfriends are rarely personal. They do not take into account the personality of your boyfriend. The quizzes are simply generic. You should not be basing your thoughts on your relationship on these generic tests. They could easily miss most of the important things in your relationship, and may not give you a good indication of the worth of your boyfriend.

The Quiz May Miss the Important Factors

The different love tests that you can find online will never bring together all of the important aspects of a relationship. The quiz could easily miss many of the important factors that would define a 'Good boyfriend' to you. If you rely on a test that is not holistic, you run the risk of a trusting a source that does not have all the facts, or all of the answers.

It May Force You to Ignore Your Gut

When you take a love exam, you are looking for reassurance. If the quiz tells you what you want to hear, you will be able to make an easy decision regarding your boyfriend. If the test tells you something that you were not expecting, however, you will run into multiple issues. Many will ignore their gut feeling because of what these quizzes tell them. You do not want to rely on a quiz that will contradict your gut feeling. More often than not, the gut feeling is the right feeling to trust.

The Writer May Not be an Expert

You can see multiple compatible questions online that claim to be written and supported by an expert. Some say that they are psychologists, while others say that they are relationship advisors and counselors.

Never trust these quizzes. You may not be able to tell the difference between a fake and an actual professional. You will be putting sever weight on their answer, as you believe that they are in a position of knowledge. You do not want to base your relationship decisions on a quiz that many to be written by an expert.

Quizzes like these are often found on websites that claim to be able to help you with your relationship. These websites fail to offer any personalization, removing any and all chances that they have of helping you understand your relationship. Talk to your family and friend about your boyfriend to fully understand this relationship. They will be the ones who will be able to help you answer the 'is he the right boyfriend' question.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

4 Reasons to Avoid Boyfriend-Girlfriend Quizzes

There are a lot of quizzes on the Internet that aim to analyze your relationship. They want to tell you how compatible you are with your boyfriend, and they want to tell you how good of a boyfriend or girlfriend you have. Some quizzes even aim to tell you whether or not your significant other is cheating on you. These quizzes cause nothing but problems and issues in relationships, and should be avoided.

Here are 4 major reasons to avoid boyfriend/girlfriend quizzes.

They're Making you Paranoid

You may not realize it, but these quizzes may actually be making you paranoid, as far as your relationship is concerned. The quizzes will give you advice that could cause you to question the merits of your significant other, and of your relationship. Unfortunately, many of these quizzes make these assertions without any proof. You may start to believe that your relationship isn't as good as it could be simply because of bad advice from an online quiz.

They're Too General

These types of quizzes are far too general. They ask broad, sweeping questions that do not actually indicate anything, positive or negative. Their generalizations could hurt your views of your relationship, and for no good reason.

Relationships are Unique

It is important to understand that each and every relationship is unique. Your connection and interactions with your boyfriend or girlfriend are different than any other connection you will have. Relationships are unique, and should be viewed and analyzed as such. When you rely on a quiz that is full of generalization, you rely on something that is not taking your relationship into account. Your relationship is too unique to be thrown in with simple relationship generalizations.

It Can Lower your Trust

Many will find that online quizzes can actually lower their trust, causing multiple problems in their relationship. If you start to see quizzes that talk about cheating boyfriends or girlfriends, you may begin to question the loyalty in your own relationship. Suddenly, problems that do not even exist are being brought up. You should trust that you understand your boyfriend or girlfriend, and that they are being open and honest with you. If you truly believe these things, you will find little to no need for these types of quizzes or tests.

You may turn to boyfriend/girlfriend quizzes for advice for your relationship. These quizzes should actually be the last place that you would look for relationship advice. It is ok to be confused about your relationship; simply talk to family and friends about your relationship and how you feel about your significant other. The words of advice and encouragement that they can provide will be more thoughtful, personalized, and realistic than any advice you would receive from these types of quizzes.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Cheaters How Can I Save Our Relationship

Anytime there are cheaters involved in a relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of "Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?", there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Free Advice On How To Get Your Ex Back

Are you looking for free advice on how to get your ex back? Well, you're in luck because you can definitely find a lot of it out there on the internet. Almost everyone has gone through a damaged relationship at one point or another and many are eager to share what they did to cope or win back their loved ones. Strategies differ from one person to the next and what works for someone else may not work for you. But there are some common factors that many experts agree on.

First of all, when you have broken up, you need to stay broken up for a while. This means as little contact as possible and of course, no begging, pleading and promising to make things better. Take some time off. It is what both of you need. If you do have to see each other because of unavoidable circumstances such as work or the kids, be friendly but do not get involved in any conversations that stray towards your past relationship.

Next, take this time off to focus on yourself. Stop thinking about your ex and how to win them back. Instead, think about how you can improve yourself both inside and out. If you've let yourself slide because of the relationship stresses, this is the time to put yourself back together. Make sure you are eating right and not drinking too much alcohol or abusing any other substances. You definitely want to be taking time out to exercise. Now that you are single, you have that time. Get involved in certain groups or volunteer programs. And make sure that you get out of the house with some friends every once in a while, even if you don't feel like it. Finally, getting enough sleep is crucial to your health. People who don't get enough tend to eat more and be overweight and look older.

What is the purpose of this type of free advice on how to get your ex back? It is all geared towards getting yourself back first. Chances are you've lost a little bit of that during your relationship struggles. Once you've re-established your self confidence and self esteem, you will be ready to once again approach your ex with the intention of getting back together. How long does it take? This also varies but generally you can tell when you're ready because getting him/her back will suddenly not seem so extremely urgent.

Then and only then should you try to make contact with your ex. Invite him or her for coffee or something that doesn't require too much time or commitment on either side. From here on is where the free advice on how to get your ex back will start to very again. But once you've gotten to this point, you may be able to rely on your own heart and new-found confidence to guide you through.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Can I Get Back With My Ex Lover

"Can I get back with my ex lover?" Do you find yourself asking yourself this same question over and over again? You're not alone. Thousands of people are going through break-ups every day and asking themselves the same thing. The good news is that you can get back with your ex if you have just one key element.

There really is only one thing that you need in order to bring your ex lover back to you and that is confidence. Chances are that if you're at the point of asking yourself "Can I get back with my ex lover?" then you are pretty low in the confidence ranking scale at the moment. As you go through relationship problems and fear the loss of your lover, your confidence can really take a nose dive, even if you used to be someone who was really sure of yourself.

Your confidence helps you in many ways. It can help you get hired. It can attract someone to you (if you're not over-confident) and it definitely can help you get your ex back. Confidence will help you in all walks of life and having it will keep your relationship healthy once you are back in your lovers arms.

If you lack confidence, you have low self-esteem which is why you are wondering if you can really get your lover back or not. A confident person would realize that he/she can. Your low self-esteem will tell you that you are not good enough or that your lover can easily find someone better. Once you have this in your head, you either give up or you start doing desperate things to try to get your lover back which, of course, only makes things worse. What usually happens in this case is that your ex will start to feel sorry for you. It is difficult at that stage to change his/her impression. But you can do it.

Rather than sulking and plotting how you are going to win back your ex, start concentrating on yourself. You need a spiritual make-over. Make sure you are eating right, exercising and spending time with friends. Get out even if you don't feel like it. Fake it 'til you make it. And do not contact your ex. This is your time to get your self-esteem back.

Pretty soon, you'll see that you are no longer faking it. You'll enjoy your time on your own and your time out with friends. You'll start to feel better about yourself and you'll be more attractive to others, including your ex lover. At this point you may actually question whether you really want him/her back. But if you do, you will be able to confidently approach him/her, speak about your relationship and work on bringing it back to life.

So, the answer to "Can I get back with my ex lover?" is "YES"!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Can Positive Thinking Get My Boyfriend Back - Positive Thinking Alone Wont

Are you asking yourself "Can positive thinking get my boyfriend back?" There are many merits to positive thinking. Although the thinking itself can't get your boyfriend back, the effects of you being positive and taking positive action for yourself can definitely help you out.

The reasons that men break up with women vary and all situations are different. But if you do want your boyfriend back, then you are definitely capable of doing so. First of all, start focusing your positive thinking on yourself and not your boyfriend. If you were thinking "He will come back to me" or "He will stop seeing the other person he left me for", those are relatively positive thoughts but they are focused on him. Focus your energy on yourself. Think instead, "I am irresistible," or thoughts like this.

If you're not feeling particularly irresistible right now (highly likely), it's because you have taken yourself out of the equation by focusing only on your ex boyfriend. It is time to get working on yourself. If you've been missing out on sleep and healthy meals, make sure you get back on track.

Eat lots of fruit and vegetables and make sure you're not staying up all night fretting over the situation. Sleep is a huge contributor to your emotional state. If you get enough you are calm and rational. Once you start getting low on sleep you can become hysterical and even distort certain events in your mind. Also, people who don't get enough sleep are hungrier and heavier and they look haggard.

Start exercising if you haven't done that. This can do wonders for those "positive" feelings. Also, whether you feel like it or not, you need to start getting out with the girls or other friends. And, most importantly, in this phase, do not contact your ex boyfriend. While spending time alone right now can be good for you, do not let it become a sulk session. Take this time to do all of those things you never had time to do when you were in the relationship.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, you will start looking better to others around you. Now is when you can start picturing yourself with your boyfriend again and how wonderful it will be. Think of your relationship without all the previous misunderstandings and fights.

Positive thinking towards yourself paired with imagery about your future relationship can go a long way. As time goes on and you feel more confident, you should be able to make gradual contact with your ex and start communication again. Many people at this stage decide that they don't even want to pursue the relationship anymore. But if you do and if you play it right, you can have your ex boyfriend back in your arms again.

So, if you are asking yourself "Can Positive Thinking Get my boyfriend back?" the answer is yes, it can.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Broken Relationship Grief What Stage Are You In

There are five stages to dealing with broken relationship grief, just as there are 5 stages to go through any emotional grief. Understanding where you are at and knowing that what you are feeling is all just part of a natural (though painful) process can help you get through your tough time.

The first stage is denial. This is where you convince yourself (or try to convince yourself) that your breakup didn't really occur. This also manifests itself as you waiting for the person to sit down with you at dinner or pick you up at work. In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn't sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.

The next stage is anger. This can be directed towards the world, at God ("Why me?!), at your ex and at yourself. In this stage you often want to get even with your ex or you act out towards others who try to help you.

Then comes the bargaining stage. This can actually come before you split definitively as well. Here is where you try to get him or her back by making deals or begging the person to return. You could also be bargaining with God or some higher power in this stage. . . "If you bring him/her back to me, I promise I'll go to church every Sunday. . ." This phase includes a great deal of pleading, wishing and praying for things to go back to normal.

The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they're in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.

Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It's important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past.

Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It's also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

How to Get a Woman Back If You Really Want Her

So you've lost the love of your life and you want her back. Some will say that it's easy to get a woman back. Others will tell you to just let it go. Of course, it all depends on the situation and both of your personalities but in general, with a bit of instruction and dedication, you can have your woman back in your arms again.

There are many reasons why a woman leaves a man but most of the time, it boils down to two main causes. Either the woman doesn't feel appreciated anymore or she is bored. If you've cheated on the woman you want back, of course she doesn't feel appreciated and you have broken (maybe permanently) the trust she once granted you.

Women can get bored when there is too much predictability in the relationship. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly be going on trips or surprising her with flowers or gifts. It just means that you yourself don't have to do exactly what you've always done. Sometimes when men are aiming to please, they go too far by buying expensive gifts, calling too much or saying the phrase "I love you" constantly. This can actually backfire and scare women off.

Or, it could be the opposite. Maybe you've barely shown any affection at all for the woman in your life and she's had enough. Maybe you've started breaking your promises. Even simple little promises that are broken can start the decay in a relationship. For example, maybe you didn't call when you said you would. Maybe you called off some date that you had with your ex at the very last minute and didn't give a reason. A Woman will not let this type of behavior go on too long - she will leave you. And chances are, she's spoken to you about it already and you just brushed it off.

Before you decide how to get a woman back, you need to take a look at yourself. What are the mistakes that you made? Do you still have feelings left for your woman or do you just want to get back into your old routine?

When a relationship has been broken, you need to take some time to step away from it and look at everything objectively. It might not be what you feel like doing, but it is what you really need to do if you plan on winning her back. Precisely because relationships vary significantly from one to the next, men should take some time to analyze the situation (as most women do).

While doing this, make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. After a while, you will come to some clarification and you will be able to see whether you really want to try "how to get a woman back."

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Five Steps to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without A War

After a breakup has taken place, it's very common for at least one of the parties to want to win back the other. It may seem like a difficult task, depending on the circumstances, but in general, you can follow five rules to get back together with your ex.

1. Bring your focus back to yourself. You're probably so consumed with how you can get your ex back, you've forgotten to do one of the most essential things in order to increase your chances. You've got to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Take time to go out with friends and family. Join new activities. Do what you need to do to restore your inner balance and to keep your mind off your ex for a while. This will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and make you more attractive.

2. Let your "new" self be revealed. If you've done the first step right, you are now feeling better both inside and out. In reality, the "new you" is really probably at least partly the "old you" that was hidden because of the emotional stress you took on during the breakup. It's important to remember that change is a part of life and plays a role in any relationship as well. When you embrace change, rather than fighting it off, you can reach your goals much faster and with fewer obstacles.

3. Be flexible. If you haven't yet learned this, you need to compromise in any relationship and compromising is a key that could determine whether you will get back together with your ex or not. If you don't have a willingness to compromise, you have a tough road ahead of you in any situation.

4. Forgive. Some people find this difficult because they are convinced that the other person is to blame. In relationships, both partners contribute to a break-up. Even when one person cheats on the other, while the person who has been cheated on is not necessarily to blame, there are some reasons that led the other person to cheat. Or if he/she is just unfaithful by nature, then you should not be trying to work out a relationship anyway. Maybe you are the person who did the cheating. In this case, you hope that the other person can forgive you and you also should forgive yourself in order to move on. Because the fact of the matter is, you cannot change the past. Putting the past into perspective when you deal with forgiveness is important. Remember that forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Remembering your mistakes can allow you to prevent them from happening in the future.


5. Develop a plan to get back together with your ex. You can do this on your own or with the help of a counselor or friend.

Monday, February 15, 2010

My Ex Wants To Get Back Together Are You Kidding Me

My ex wants to get back together? Is this your incredulous reaction when your ex calls you back after months of no contact? Perhaps he/she is the one who broke up with you or maybe you instigated the split. Either way, it might be somewhat of a surprise to have this person show up in your life again. And, if nothing else, it gets you thinking. . . what should you do?

Obviously, it all depends on the situation and circumstances and, especially, what state of mind you are in right now.

If your ex is the one that broke up with you and you've just finally started to settle into your new life without him/her, you might be temped to just tell him/her to leave you alone. This is perfectly natural and you'll probably feel good about it. Keep in mind that this might induce your ex to try even harder.

If you're still feeling the pain of your split and you still miss your ex, you may be relieved to have him/her asking you back. But be careful and tread slow here. Even if you feel like saying "Yes!" immediately, you might want to just ask him/her to call you back in a couple of days so you can think about it. If he/she does call you back, then they've earned a point. Try asking for a few more days. See how far it gets you and how far you want to take it.

But it's a good way to superficially test the sincerity of your ex. If you were the one who did the breaking up, you've got a whole different attitude and your feelings will probably be more readable; since you most likely went through them in your mind before breaking up.

Chances are that his/her first thought when your ex wants to get back together is that you will forgive him/her for breaking up with you in the first place or for causing you to want to break up. If you do plan to take him/her up on the offer, you need to forgive him/her in order to go on. Then, make sure that you know clearly and precisely what you want out of the relationship. And remember that you now are in the position to ask what you want and to also stipulate what you don't. Talk about it and see how your ex reacts.

Of course when you do decide to give the relationship a try, you also need to give your ex what he/she wants as well. Ask your ex to be specific about what he/she needs from you and then evaluate how well you will be able to fill them. Is there something that you just cannot do? If so, it's probably better to let the relationship go once again. Otherwise, you will be soon headed for your second break-up.

Hopefully this has helped you in your "my ex wants to get back together" situation.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Free Help Getting Back An Ex Boyfriend Can Be Better than What Mom Saide

Are you looking for free help getting back an ex boyfriend? Sometimes relying on the advice of family and friends isn't the ideal solution. Although they are often well-meaning, they may not be telling you what you really need to hear. So it can help to get the opinion of someone else who is an expert in relationships or even just someone who is impartial to your personal situation.

You can find a lot of free help getting back an ex boyfriend on the internet. Some of this is in forums or other online venues where girls or women like you share their stories on how they won back their guy. Some can be in the form of more official and professional advice. Either way, you will find that many people will advise you to take a step back from the relationship for a while. Getting back your ex boyfriend can become all-consuming but you shouldn't let it be.

Why? Well, if for nothing else, because the more obsessed you are with getting your boyfriend back, the more reluctant he will be to come back to you. It's just human nature. If you have made it loud and clear that your only objective is to win him back, you're no longer appealing in his eyes.

Instead, you need to keep busy and do not contact your ex boyfriend. What you need to be doing is trying to improve yourself both on the inside and out. Now that you are single, you have more time to pamper yourself and you may even have more money to spend on yourself.

First of all, make sure that you are eating a healthy, balanced diet which is good for your body, your skin and your overall appearance. If you've slacked off on physical activity because of your current state of mind, it's time to start exercising once again. You may want to get a workout buddy to make sure that you stick to your routine.

Even if you are not in the mood to go out with friends or family, force yourself to do so. But don't get carried away don't stay out too late every night. Your beauty sleep is just as, if not more, important than healthy foods and exercise. When you are well-rested you will tend to see everything in a better light.

This phase may take some time and you will most likely take two steps forward and one step back as you go along. This is normal so don't worry if you have some bad days. But make sure that you maintain your pact with yourself: no contact with your ex.

Once you start to feel and look better, you will even be in a position to ask yourself whether you really want to get your ex back. If so, then you are ready for the next step in this free help getting back an ex boyfriend.

Friday, February 12, 2010

I’m So Happy I Could Cry I Got My Boyfriend Back

I have been sitting here at the kitchen table with my best girlfriend, Dee, crying and laughing at the same time. Actually both of us are so darn giddy, it's hilarious. And when we start laughing really, really hard, I almost pee on myself. Oh Gawd! I've started giggling again. Hold on a second, I have to stop laughing and then I'll tell you all about it.

Now let me tell you why we are so giddy. About six months ago my boyfriend dumped me. As you can imagine, I was completely devastated.I thought I was having a heart attack; it hurt so bad. I was so messed up. All I did was cry hour after hour. I couldn’t think, much less try to go to work. You know what I’m saying right?

About 3 days into the worst event of my life, a thought hit me. It was almost like a white hot electrical shock from a huge lightning bolt coming out of the sky and hitting me. I really, really love this guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And the first question that popped into my mind was, "How do I get him back?"

I had already tried to text and call him, but he just plain ignored me. Then I went over to his house and almost got on my knees begging him to take me back. Karl was very gentle, as he explained what was going on with him and then he asked me to leave. And that’s when I blew my top. I just plain lost it. But I did leave.

After getting home I called Dee, bawling my eyes out again and she rushed over; to comfort me and give some much needed advice.

Dee had gone through the same thing with her boyfriend within the last year, so she knew what she was talking about. As we talked she told me how she had done the same things I had and they didn’t work for her either. “O.K.! Then how did you get Michael back?” I asked.

“Listen,” she said. “Lisa, the first thing you have to do is stop acting like a fool. You’re going to have to take your time and figure out what caused Karl to breakup with you. Once we have that figured out we can layout a battle plan to get him back.” And trust me that‘s precisely what we did.

Dee broke out her copy of the “Magic of Making Up” and began to list the things she had used and I was going to have to do to win my ex back:

* Start looking my best, all the time not just part of the time
* Determine why Karl and I had fallen in love the first time
* Start doing the things that had attracted Karl to me originally
* Stop texting, stop calling, stop going to his house

To make a long story short I followed our battle plan and last night Karl asked me to marry him. Oh Gawd! The ring is beautiful. Now you know why I’m so giddy I could cry.

But I have to tell you without Dee and her tips from the Magic of Making Up I would have lost Karl forever.

Guest article written by Lisa Franchino
If you would like to tell your story email allstarbrian@gmail.com

5 Tips For Dealing With Unrequited Love

Sometimes, when we love someone, they do not love us back. It can be incredibly difficult to deal with this kind of love, as your feelings are strong but unreciprocated. If you are dealing with unrequited love, you must take steps to get over those feelings. If you fail to do so, you can deal with the pain of that heartache for years. These five tips will help you to get over this unrequited love and to regain control of your emotions.

Write About your Feelings

Writing about your feelings is a simple and easy way to deal with love that is not reciprocated. Writing down these feelings is a way for you to express your frustrations and issues. People who deal with unrequited love feel as if the person they love does not listen. By writing these things down, you can feel as though you are getting your point across to someone who is paying attention to your feelings and needs.

Keep an Open Mind

It is important for you to keep an open mind when dealing with someone who does not love you back. The person may have a change of heart, and may begin to have feelings for you. They may also continue the path that they are on. You need to take both situations into consideration. Either situation is possible. You should not plan for one or the other.

Date New People

While your heart may be somewhere else, you can still date other people. Going on small dates with others may help you to lessen the pain of the unrequited love. You may realize that you feelings for that person are not as strong as you once thought they were.

Get Set Up on Blind Dates

Getting set up on a blind date can be an exciting and exhilarating experience. This is perfect for those who cannot get over an unrequited love. The blind date will not find you the love of your life. It is simply a fun experience that can help to take your mind off of the person you want that does not want you.

Write a List of What You Need in a Relationship

Write down a simple list that lists all of the things that you are looking for in a relationship. Compare the person you love to that list. This will often show you that the person you love is not giving you what you need.

It can be heard to open up about your feelings and emotions. It can hurt to think or even speak about the unrequited love. It is important for you to open up about your feelings, and about your needs. These can be key actions that will help you to get over your issues. By keeping an open mind and meeting new people, you can slowly wash away those feelings. If you are dealing with unrequited love, you need to push yourself to ensure that you are not stuck on that person forever.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

5 Tips For Getting Your Exboyfriend Or Exgirlfriend Back

It is never easy to get an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back. Your ex may have already started to get over you before you even try to win them back. If you are working on getting your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend back, there are some tips to consider. These tips will give you the best possible chance of getting your ex back.

Be Patient

It can be easy to jump the gun and get excited when trying to get an ex back. It is important for you to ignore these feelings and simply take a deep breath, as you need to be patient when trying to get someone back. The process will not be quick, as there are multiple steps involved. You need to let each step run its course to ensure success.

Give Thoughtful Gifts

The best way to show someone that you care is to buy them small, thoughtful gifts. Expensive gifts may be nice, but they can often be impersonal. Smaller, more thoughtful gifts are personal, and will show your ex that youÕve paid attention to their likes and dislikes. It will also show that you care enough to think about them and purchase a gift for them.

Plan Dinner Date

Dinner dates can often be the start of a new relationship. They can also be the start of a reconciliation between you and your ex. Take your ex on a dinner date as you try to win them back. Asking them out to this dinner can be a great way to rekindle an old flame.

Write Meaningful Letters

Meaningful letters, emails, and texts can be a perfect way to get an ex back. A small combination of these communication mediums can remind your ex about the good in your past relationship. You can show them that you are thinking about them, and that you really do miss having them in your life.

Have A Complete Strategy

The ultimate tip for trying to get an ex back is to have a full strategy. You need to know how you will work to get your ex back. You need to know how you are going to ease into the conversation with your ex. You need to know when you should start buying gifts, and when you should actually bring up the question. This strategy will give you the best chance of success.

You need to work to show your ex boyfriend of ex girlfriend that you care. You need to take the time to show them that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get your relationship back. The easiest way to do so is to be patient and be thoughtful. By giving meaningful gifts and writing meaningful letters, you are showing them that you are willing to put their interests first. Having a strategy that puts their interests first is the best way to approach the situation. Follow these tips when working on getting your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend back. They will help you to be thoughtful, meaningful, and patient.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

5 Ways To Take Your Mind Off Of Your Ex After A Breakup

When you break up with someone, you will find that it is hard for you to take your mind off of them. It is always hard to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to make a conscious effort to focus your mind on other things to stop thinking about them. There are 5 major ways for you to do so.

Have a Girls/Boys Night

Having a night with your friends is the best way to get your mind off of someone. Hanging out with the girls (or boys) will help to bring you into a better mood. It will help you to focus on other activities. You need this distraction to take your mind off of your ex.

Give Yourself a Trip to the Spa

Spas are incredibly relaxing and peaceful. Going to a spa is an easy way to get your mind off of someone. You can clear your mind of all thoughts when you are at the spa. Simply focus on the treatment that you are receiving, and the relaxation you feel. While it may only be for a short time, the relaxation can be key to your long-term effort to get over your ex.

Cleanse Your Life (get rid of everything that reminds you of them)

You cannot take your mind off of someone if you are constantly reminded of them. You need to get rid of everything that you have that reminds you of them. Some people stow away all of these belongings. Others burn them ceremoniously. Choose the method that will help you to get your mind off of the person as fast as possible.

Go Out!

If you are trying to get your mind off of an ex, you need to get out of the house. If you stay in your house, you will simply wallow in self pity, thinking of the person that you used to be with. Going out, whether it be with friends or by yourself, will keep you from thinking about what couldÕve been.

Travel

If you have the money to do so, this is the perfect time to travel. When you travel, you are caught up in the excitement of the new place that you visit. Traveling is an easy and exciting way to take your mind off of someone.

You need to give yourself something to think about when you are trying to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to do things that will consume your attention and focus. Spa trips, downtown trips, and travel trips can be an easy way to do so. These 5 tips simply give you different ways to take your focus and attention away from your ex.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Top 5 Ways To Get Over A Broken Heart

When people get into a relationship, they put their entire heart into the relationship. They put all of their emotions into that relationship. When the relationship ends, they feel stuck. It can be hard to figure out how to deal with the broken heart that comes from the end of that relationship. If you are trying to get over a broken heart, you need to make a conscious effort to heal. While every person will find success with different methods, these 5 tips can help you to get over a broken heart as fast as possible.

Have a Rebound

Some people see a rebound as a small escape from their overall heartbreak. Others see a rebound as an opportunity to be done with their broken heart altogether. This rebound can be a great short-term or long-term way to get over someone who has broken your heart.

Call Old Flames

Talking to people that you used to be in love with is a great way to mend a broken heart. Talking to people that you used to know will simply help to remind you that you have dealt with heartbreak before, and that you prevailed. It can be a good confidence boost for anyone dealing with a broken heart.

Treat Yourself

If you are dealing with a broken heart, treat yourself to some of your favorite things. Splurging on some of your favorite items, activities, or foods will help to give you some enjoyment during this rough time.

Surround Yourself with Friends

If you are dealing with a broken heart, you need to surround yourself with loved ones. Hang out with friends and family more than usual. Being around people who love you is a great way to slowly get over someone who does not love you anymore.

Talk to a Counselor or Therapist

At first, the idea of talking to a counselor or therapist for a broken hearts seems to be a little much for the situation. In all honesty, these professionals can seriously help those with a broken heart. Therapists simply help you to work out the issues that you have. You can talk openly and freely with these therapists. Many feel as though they open up more to them, as they know that they will not judge them. This back-and-forth conversation with a stranger will help you to deal with your broken heart.

It is important for you to realize that each and every person will find success in a different way. While some may find that a rebound is the best way to get over a broken heart, others will find success when they surround themselves with friends. You need to think about your own personality to choose the best method for your life.

Monday, February 8, 2010

5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together

Some people end their relationship with a clean break. Both parties agree that they should not be together. Others will simply end the relationship on their terms. While they are done with the relationship, the other person will still want to stay together. This relationship can be difficult, as the person who ended the relationship must deal with the ex who wanted to stay together. There will come a time when your ex wants to get back together. Instead of making an irrational decision, follow these 5 tips. These tips will help you to make the best decision.

Consider Your First Relationship

If your ex wants to get back together again, you need to consider the relationship that you had. Why did you break up in the first place? You need to consider the end of your first relationship before you consider another one. If the issue is something that cannot be repaired, you should not even bother with a reconciliation attempt.

Consider Your Life Now

You need to make sure that you consider your life now when considering getting back together with an ex. You may be willing to give it a shot, but do you have the time? Are you in a place in your life where you can handle a full relationship? The answers to these questions will help you in your final decision making process.

Be Patient and Kind

It is important for you to be patient and kind to your ex. They are dealing with a lot of emotions. You want to make sure that you do not make these emotions stronger. Be patient with them and listen to what they have to say. This conversation may be useful to you, as it may help you to make up your mind.

Talk To your Friends

Talk to your friends about the situation. Talk to them about how your ex feels, how you feel, and all of the different factors that will affect your decision. It will be good for you to say these things out loud to someone, as it can be helpful to talk it through with someone.

Make the Decision On Your Own

In the end, you need to make sure that you are making the decision on your own. You should not make this decision based on your ex, or on your friends. Take yourself and your own feelings into consideration. This should be the basis for your final decision.

You need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself. While you should take the words of your ex and your friends into consideration, you need to make the decision on your own. Think about what is best for you when your ex wants to get back together. When you think about your best interests, you will always make the right decision.

Friday, February 5, 2010

How To Survive A Breakup Your 4 Tips For Success

A break up can be a troubling and tiresome experience. It can be difficult for people to deal with this kind of emotion and pressure. If you are dealing with a break up, you need to make sure that you are keeping those emotions in check. If you want to know how to survive a break up, use these 4 tips for your current situation. These tips will help you to keep your emotions in check while managing to mend your broken heart.

Create Distance

If you want to survive the break up that you have just gone through, you need to create distance between you and your ex. You need to make sure that you are not talking to them. You will want to make sure that you cannot check any social media websites of theirs, and that you do not email them or text them. All communication must be shut off. This shut-off will help you to remove them from your life. The longer you stay in contact with them, the harder the break-up process will be.

Give Yourself Time

You need to give yourself time to cope. Some people want to get over their relationship as soon as it happens. Others want to drag their heart-break on as long as possible. You need to give yourself the proper time to cope with the emotions that come from that breakup. While you should not ignore these emotions, you should not dwell on them for long. Give yourself enough time to get over the relationship, but be sure to control and check your emotions so that it does not get out of hand.

Get Rid of Objects

If you are trying to get through a breakup, you need to get rid of things that remind you of your ex. Some people choose to burn these belongings. Others choose to simply store them away so that they are out of sight. Either method will work in this situation. You simply need to put away anything that could remind you of your relationship, and of the breakup.

Rely on Friends

Your friends will be your greatest tool when you are trying to get through a breakup. Your friends can help to get your mind off of the breakup. They can also help you to deal with your emotions as you go through the break-up process.

These four tips will help to keep your emotions in check. Your emotions will cause you to constantly think of your ex. These are the emotions that you must control. By creating distance and getting rid of different objects, you are controlling these emotions. The more you can control these emotions, the quicker you will get over your breakup. If you want to know how to survive a breakup, you need to follow these four tips.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

5 Ways To Write Getting Back Together Letters

There are a million different ways to try to win back your ex. One of the best methods to getting back with an ex is to write getting back together letters. These letters can help your ex to better understand your emotions. You may be able to talk them into giving your relationship a second chance through these emotions. If you are thinking about writing a letter to your ex, you have a few different options and methods to choose from.

Write Emails

If you are trying to get your point across to your ex as fast as possible, use email messages for your letters. These messages will reach your ex faster than any other method. There is an issue with this method, however, as some exes may see an email as impersonal. Be sure to be sincere and thoughtful in your message, as this will overshadow the impersonal nature of an email.

Write Hand-Written Notes

If you want to be romantic, write a hand-written note. These notes are seen as incredibly thoughtful and romantic. Your ex may see these as thoughtful and romantic because you took the time to make something for them. Handwritten notes are also seen as more personal. This could be a signal to your ex that you are taking time out of your life to get them back into your life.

Give With Gifts

Some people see gifts as thoughtful and cute. Others see gifts as unnecessary bribes. If your ex is someone who enjoys gifts, consider a gift with the letter. This small gift simply shows your ex that you are thinking about them. It shows that you are interested, and that youÕve paid attention to the things that they would enjoy.

Deliver Without Gifts

It can be easy to throw the kitchen sink at your ex. You want to give them everything, and show them all of your emotions at once. You may want to consider avoiding gifts with the letters. Use the letters as a starting point. If your ex is responding to these letters, gifts may be an important and powerful next step. By starting without gifts, you are getting a feel for their thoughts on the situation as a whole.

Use Song Lyrics

If you want to try something different and unique, compose a letter that is comprised of nothing but song lyrics. This is a time-consuming project that will show your ex that you are taking your tie to be thoughtful and unique as you try to win them back.

You need to take your ex s personality into consideration when you choose your method. The method should speak to their emotions. While some will see an e-mail as impersonal, others will see it as thoughtful. While some will see a gift as a bribe, others will see it as a nice gesture. Choose the method that is the best communication method for you and your ex. If you are going to write getting back together letters, you will want to make sure that they hear your message loud and clear.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Get Back At Ex By Being Nice 4 Ways To Get Back At Them With Kindness

There are different ways for someone to deal with their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. Some people want to cause their ex pain or suffering by being rude and vindictive. Others want to get back at ex by being nice. Those who choose to get back at their ex by being a nice person take the high-road, and come across as a better person by doing so. If you want to get back at your ex, there are 4 major ways to get back at them with kindness.

Send them Flowers

Flowers are the ultimate gesture of kindness. We can send someone flowers to tell them that we love them. We can also send flowers to tell someone that they are a good friend. Send your ex flowers that speak to this ÒfriendÓ factor. By giving them yellow roses or less-romantic flowers, you are showing an act of kindness that shows no remorse, and no romance.

Ask About Their Love Life

Asking your ex about their love life is an awkward but successful way to get back at your ex with kindness. Do not ask in an interrogating or vindictive way. Show concern for their well being and their possible relationships. If you ask about these relationships in a friendly tone, it cannot be misconstrued as evil or vindictive.

Act Happy for Them

If you want to get back at your ex by being nice, act happy for them, their life, and their new achievements. Nothing will confuse an ex more than when you are happy for their new life. Fake happiness can still make them feel awkward. They feel as though you should hate them. The fact that you are happy for them will confuse them, and get them to rethink their emotions.

Introduce Them to New Flings

An interesting way to get back at your ex with kindness is to introduce them to your new interests. It can be easy to make these introductions rude or vindictive. Simply tell your ex that you really want them to meet someone that you are seeing. You want them to get to know you, and vice versa. This could bring jealousy and curiosity out of your ex. This simple and nice gesture can actually make your ex jealous about your new relationship. This jealousy is easily the best way to get back at an ex.

It is important to find the balance between getting back at your ex and keeping your self-respect and reputation. The only way to keep this balance is to get back at someone with kindness. When you get back at ex by being nice, they cannot bad-mouth you. They cannot trash-talk you, and they cannot hate you. By being nice, you are getting back at them without giving them a reason to get over you.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

5 Steps To Exorcising Your Ex How To Get Rid Of The Demons Of Relationships Past

It can be difficult to get over your past relationship. Memories of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend can haunt you for months or years after your relationship. You need to work on getting over this relationship. Follow the 5 steps to exorcising your ex. "How to get rid of the demons of relationships" is a difficult topic to fully understand. These 5 steps can help to show you the way to success.

Stop Any and All Contact

The first step that you must take is to stop any and all contact with your ex. You may have an ex that likes to call you or text you. You may actually be the one calling and texting your ex. This line of communication needs to stop in order for you to get over your ex. This communication will simply be a reminder of a broken relationship, and will lead to nothing but heartache.

Build a Support Group

The next step that you must take is to build a support group. Talk to your family and friends about your situation. They will be able to help you stick with your goal and steps as you work on your own emotions. These friends and family members will be able to be there for you when you feel weak and vulnerable. Use their support to stay strong as you get over your ex.

Acknowledge your Feelings

The third step to this process is to acknowledge your feelings. You cannot ignore what happened to you. You cannot forget the relationship that you had. You need to cope with the feelings that the end of this relationship has brought on. Talk to your support group about your feelings. When you open up to your support group, you release your emotions. The more you acknowledge these feelings, the faster the entire process will be.

Get Them Out

The final step is to release these emotions. Each person will have a unique way of dealing with these emotions. Some will choose a hard workout or a boxing regimen to deal with their anger. Others will write in a journal to cope with their sadness. Find a way to get your emotions out. You need to get them out in order to get over your ex.

You need to have the willpower to follow these steps. It can be difficult to follow these steps, as some of them completely remove that relationship from your life. It is important to understand that you are only hurting yourself by ignoring these steps. At first, you will have to force yourself to follow the steps to exorcising your ex. How to get rid of the demons of relationships past steps will be worth it in the end.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Coping With A Break Up 4 Steps For Getting Back On Your Feet

It can be hard to deal with a break up. Many tend to dwell on their ended relationship. They waste time and emotion on something that they simply cannot change. These people need to learn how to deal with a break up. If you are coping with a break up, there are a few things that you can do to make the process as painless as possible. These 4 steps will help you to deal with the end of your relationship.

Let it All Out

The first thing that you need to do is to get all of your emotions out. You need to every single emotion out, whether it be angry, sad, frustrated, or mad. Talk to friends about how you feel. Write down your thoughts in a journal or through an online blog. If you want to get back on your feet, you need to deal with these emotions.

Hit the Town

If you want to get back on your feet, you need to get out. Go out with friends and enjoy doing activities without your ex. Ask friends to go to the movies or to go to the mall. If you feel up to it, go out to bars and clubs with your friends. You need to get out of your house. Hitting the town with close friends is the best way to do so.

Meet New People

It is important for you to meet new people when you are dealing with a breakup. This is not to say that you should be scoping out someone new to date. You should simply talk to new people and go on a few dates. These pressure-free situations will help you to get a feel for what is out there. Seeing what else is out there is an easy way to get back on your feet after a break up.

Give Yourself Time

The most important step to follow is the last. You need to give yourself time to deal with your breakup. Everyone would love to be able to get over a breakup in a matter of days. This type of turnaround time is simply impossible. Give yourself time to get over the emotions that you feel. The more time you give yourself, the more likely you are to get over your relationship.

Some people try to bottle up their emotions when dealing with a break up. They think that this will help them to cope with the end of that relationship. In reality, bottling these emotions makes the entire situation worse. You need to go out on the town with your friends and meet new people. You need to leave yourself some time to grieve, and some time to be single. If you are coping with a break up, you need to follow these steps.