Life After Adultery-Dont Let It Defeat You

Saving a marriage after adultery can be a very hard and time consuming process. You spent all that time together, loving each other and pledging to be faithful to each other only to have that trust get betrayed. Most marriages end after an affair because it is just so hard to ever trust that person again.

Despite having an affair, some couples still very much love each other. Affairs are nothing more then a symptom of a deeper underlying problem. The first thing you need to do is find out what that problem is, what is causing you to stray from your marriage.

The thing is that as we get older we change and we may acquire different tastes or grow tired of the old. This is where affairs usually take place, once the marriage has settled into a routine and the offending party simply grew bored of it all.

It is understandable, if not acceptable, why the offending party would cheat under those circumstances. As cruel as it may sound, we all grow bored if we do the same thing over and over again. This applies to marriage just the same as it applies to everything else.

The first thing you need to do after adultery, if you wish to save your marriage, is to forgive the offending partner. This likely will not happen over night and it will be very hard. They betrayed your trust and it will take a lot of time and effort on their part to earn it back.

But once you have forgiven them, you can move on to fixing the underlying problems that led to the affair. This is a crucial step. If you do not fix the problem them history will likely just repeat itself. So it is vitally important that you find out why they cheated, really get down to the root of the problem.

Once you have discovered what exactly it was that drove them to cheat, you can work on fixing it. In most cases an affair happens because one of the people involved has grown tired of the routine sexual activities. If this was the case then you might want to sit down with your partner and discuss ways to spice up your love life.

If you can just make changes to the areas the offending party has grown tired of, it can go a long way to prevent them from every straying again. So if it was them growing bored of your love life, then make sure you fix that and talk with them about it.

If it was not something related to your love life, then it may be trickier to fix. Even if this is the case the fundamental points still hold true. Talk with them and find out specifically what they thought the problem was, and why they cheated. From there you just have to make steps towards changing those aspects.

No matter what the case may be, life after adultery can be hard and emotionally taxing. What you need to remember is that you should always do what is best for you. If you feel you can forgive them and continue loving them despite their betrayal, then go for it. However if you do not feel you can forgive them, do not feel guilty or ashamed, they betrayed you so it is your right to walk away.

Are Your Relationships Needs Being Met

You have a much better chance of having a long and happy relationship if your relationships needs are being met. One reason that many relationships don't work out is that the partners don't feel that their needs are being met. If you have broken up from your partner and managed to talk things through and get back together, then this is a particularly important time to have your needs met.

If you're partner doesn't know what your needs are then it will be difficult for them to meet your needs. Likewise, you should ask your partner what his needs are so you are better able to meet his needs. Neither of you are mind readers so this is something that you should sit down and talk about.

If you have never discussed your needs before you might be surprised at your partners needs. It is important to discuss needs as I'm sure you want to be happy together but that will be difficult if you don't know how to meet each other's needs.

Different people have different needs so you should never assume that your partners needs will be the same as yours. Your needs may be that you feel the need for your partner to tell you that he loves you regularly. So you may tell him that you love him quite often because you assume that he also has that need. Although I'm sure he loves hearing it from you, it may not be his need so his actual relationships needs may not be met.

It is much easier to keep each other happy when you sit down together and talk about your relationships needs. Your relationship will grow and become much stronger when you know how to make each other happy. It is much easier to tell each other your needs instead of hinting to your partner what your needs are.

Perhaps your needs are for your partner to help out around the home, helping with the dishes or vacuuming. There is no point getting angry if you're partner doesn't help you out with these things if you haven't even asked him to help you. Let him know that you need a little help with these things now and then and I'm sure he will be more than happy to help.

If you don't tell him that you want him to help then he just may not think to get up and help. This might make you angry and you might begin slamming cupboard doors and acting out your anger. By showing your anger in a physical way you are trying to send him a message that you want his help but really it is much easier to just ask for help.

When you use passive aggressive behavior by acting out your anger to send a message it can actually damage your relationship. It doesn't work and it can just make you feel more angry and resentful towards your partner. Then he might help you with the dishes just to try and stop you from being angry but I'm sure he would much prefer to help you with the dishes because you have asked him. Let doing the dishes be his choice as a result of your request rather than have him do it out of guilt because you are behaving angrily.

There are many relationships needs that different people have and often they are simple things like showing affection, saying 'I love you', helping with the dishes or respecting each other's feelings. Whatever your needs are make sure that you talk about them so you know how to make each other happy.

Does My Boyfirend Really Love Me-Dont Struggle Over The Answer

People never truly understand one another, after all we are not mind readers. This is why doubt can settle in the minds of people in a relationship. You want to believe your boyfriend loves you but there can sometimes be that little nagging doubt in the back of your mind.

That is a problem a lot of women face, they are unsure of whether or not their boyfriends truly love them or not. They are left asking themselves "Does My Boyfirend Really Love ME" and struggling to come up with an answer.

They do not struggle because their boyfriend may not love them and they are having trouble coming up with ways to say otherwise. They struggle because how do you determine whether or not someone loves you? It is an easy question to ask, not an easy one to answer.

There are four good signs to look for that can tell you whether or not your boyfriend loves you. These are no exact nor will they all apply, but they can be a good place to start when trying to answer this question.

1: Look him in the eyes. A man who loves and respects you will not look away and avert his gaze, he will look you straight in the eye. This is how he conveys you are his equal and that he loves you, if he refuses to look you in the eye when expressing his love it may be because he is lying and would feel bad by looking you in the eye when he said that.

2: Men respect the people they love. Respect is an important aspect of relationships and you earn it as your man falls for you. If he could not respect you he very likely would not have fallen in love with you. Part of respecting someone is being honest and open with them. You do not hide or lie to those you respect so he should be willing to share his thoughts and concerns with you. As well as hear out your own concerns and support you when you make a decision.

3: A man who is in love will always make time. People inherently want to be around things they love, it is just human nature. This holds true with men just as much as women so if your man truly does love you he would want to spend time with you, and as such would make time. If he always has something else going on or constantly comes up with excuses, this may be a sign that he does not love you.

4: He will remember your special day. We all have special and important days, be it anniversary or birthdays. If your man loves you he will remember those days and make sure to acknowledge them as best he can.

Now remember that all men are not the same, they may show some of these signs such as not looking you in the eye or forgetting important dates, but that may not mean they do not love you. Some men may simply be too shy to look you in the eye, or forgetful to remember what the date is.

You know your boyfriend better then I ever could so it is at your discretion whether or not these signs truly apply. But they can prove to be a fairly good guideline to help you answer whether or not your boyfriend loves you.

How To Save My Marriage

If your marriage is having problems you may do some research on how to save my marriage. One thing you will learn is that to save your marriage you need to have good communication. When you first start dating you talk about things all the time and even when you are first married the communication is usually quite good. Somewhere along the way though communication lines tend to break down and this is when your marriage can get into trouble. It isn't that difficult to keep the communication lines open really so that is the first change that you need to make.

To save your marriage you need both partners to want to save it. If you want to save your marriage but your spouse doesn't, then you are not likely to be successful. To get the relationship back to a good place you both need to work at it, you can't do it all by yourself.

Communication sounds easy but isn't always as easy as it sounds. There is a big difference to general day to day chit chat and really talking and listening to one another. When you talk about things that are bothering you, you need to try and listen to one another and try to understand the others point of view. You also need to talk in a way that expresses your feelings without the other person feeling like you are attacking them.

You can invite your spouse to dinner so that you can both sit down together and talk about what is going on in your relationship. It will take some work on both parts, but if you are both willing then you should be able to save your marriage.

To save your marriage you should try to spend more quality time together. When you have children and you work long hours it can be difficult to spend time together. You tend to lose the spark that you once had and you may feel that you are more like roommates than two people in love. Try to set a time each week where you can go on a date and just spend some time alone together.

Your sexual relationship might not be as good as it once was either. If you have lost the spark in your marriage then you may need to work at getting it back. You will both need to put the effort into this too. You need to make your sexual relationship romantic again instead of feeling like it's just a chore. Buy some new lingerie and have a nice candle lit dinner. Romantic music can also help the mood and make it more enjoyable. You need to start enjoying each other again like you did when you first started dating.

If you are prepared to make some changes and your spouse is too, then perhaps all that research on how to save my marriage will pay off.

Relationships Depression - How Do You Deal With It

If you have been in a relationship for a while and it is beginning to show signs of trouble it is quite possible for you to develop relationships depression. You may also develop depression if your relationship has recently broken up and have now gotten back together. You wonder why you feel depressed when you should be happy that you got back together but there may still be negative feelings over the whole break up incident.

Even when you have worked through a rough patch and got the relationship back on track the rough patch will still be fresh in your mind. You would have gone through some serious emotions during the rough stage and perhaps feared that you would love your partner, so now that you are back together shouldn't you be happy? So why are you suffering from relationships depression?

Your emotional state may also be influenced by the reasons for the rough period. If there was any cheating involved then you will have lost trust in your partner and even though you have decided to give your relationship another go, you haven't forgotten about his infidelity. You will probably fear that he may cheat on you again and this fear can lead to relationships depression.

It isn't easy to stay in a relationship with someone that has hurt you and you will wonder if he will hurt you again. You are putting yourself in a vulnerable position of possibly having this person hurt you like he did before. No wonder you are feeling depressed!

If you were the person who cheated on your partner and he forgave you then you might feel an overwhelming guilt about what you did. You may feel depressed because you know how much you hurt them and you regret having done so. He or she will also have lost trust in you and you may feel that they are constantly watching your every move and questioning everything you do.

Even when there is no cheating involved, relationships depression can still occur. Regardless of the reason why your relationship broke up or was close to breaking up, you and your partner have reached a low point to decide to break up. That is difficult to deal with and even when you are back together you may have your doubts or worry about it happening again.

You will think about your partner’s thoughts during that time and perhaps be sad that they even considered living without you. Even though you sorted things out and got back together, the thought that he was thinking about a life without you is very painful.

The feelings that you go through when your relationship was at its lowest point were very strong and you may fear those feelings happening again in future. You still remember very clearly how bad you felt and you may even think about what would have happened if you hadn't gotten back together.

Going through a break up is a very painful experience, no matter what the reason for it. Even if you didn't quite reach break up stage, if you were close to a break up then there would have been a lot of tension and stress. When a relationship ends you grieve at the loss of your partner just as you would with a death.

Life is very challenging and a break up, or near breakup, is one of those challenging times. It is great if you have worked things out and save the relationship if that is what you really want. If you were meant to be together then you will get through this stage and the relationships depression will pass.

Can Relationships Sites Help Save Your Relationship

There are many relationships sites on the internet offer all sorts of tips and advice about relationships. Some sites are created to give advice to those people who are in a new relationship and other sites focus on relationships that have broken up and those people trying to sort things out and get back together. Are these relationships sites any good and can they actually help?

These sites can help if you use the information and apply it to your situation. There will be some sites that give better advice than others and some sites are there for the sole purpose of trying to get you to buy something. These sites are filled with articles that don't really make much sense.

If you find relationships sites that are all cute or filled with silly quizzes then you should avoid these. Sites that give you tips on how to cheat on your partner without getting caught are sites to avoid. If you are seeking advice for a serious relationship then you don't want sites like these.

If you find a good site that offers good advice then it can be very helpful. Some of these sites will also have forums where you can meet other people with similar problems.

Some sites will also have testimonials about how the site has helped them. However, testimonials can be faked so take them with a grain of salt. Often good testimonials are there for the sole purpose of selling you something.

The best type of relationships sites are those that have been created by relationship experts. These sites will contain extensively written articles on the subject. They may offer counseling for relationships or may recommend some popular books, but they are usually good, quality books that can be very helpful.

Of course there are some sites that are not created by experts but still give great advice. Some sites will have columns and some may have question and answer sections. Some sites might give stories of other people who have gone through relationship problems. It can be helpful to read other people's stories and can make you feel optimistic about your own situation.

A good relationships site should never make a guarantee that they can save your marriage or relationship; no-one can guarantee that. For someone that doesn't even know you to say that they can guarantee to save your relationship is just ridiculous. They can offer you advice but they can't make any guarantees, so be very wary of sites that claim to guarantee success.

Even if someone knows your situation in great detail they still cannot guarantee that they can save your relationship. No-one should ever make that promise and if they do they are likely doing so to try and sell you their product.

No website or expert can save your marriage or relationship for you, all they can do is give you advice on what you can do to help save your relationship. It is up to you to take the information you read and put it into action.

If the information on a site seems unrealistic then stay away from the site. There is no right or wrong answer for all relationships, everyone's situation is different. When looking at relationships sites you need to read the advice and decide if it relates to your situation and if you can benefit from it. Then you can make the right decision on what you should do to put the spark back into your love life.

Advice From Relationships Experts-Is It Something You Already Know

When a couple is having trouble in their relationship they may reading or listening to relationships experts. These experts tend to tell us things that we do already know but have perhaps forgotten. Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else to make us think about doing it. Sometimes the experts just make things easier to understand. One thing relationships experts are good at is knowing how to communicate.

Experts will say something that is complete common sense but they say it in a way that you 'get it'. One such example is the concept of what to give and what to expect in a relationship.

When a relationship is new it is all exciting and fun but after a while things settle down and this is when couples can start taking each other for granted. We aren't as polite, don't thank them as much and just generally have expectations without giving much in return.

We don't do this because we are being nasty and don't want to be nice, we just forget sometimes to say thank you or do something special. If a relationship reaches the point of break up but you are able to sort things out and get back together, then the time of being kind and thoughtful becomes important again. To keep a relationship strong it is good to make an effort to do this all along.

Another lesson one can learn from relationships experts is to do things for your partner that they will appreciate. Once again this is basic common sense but something that we often overlook. There is no 'certain time' during a relationship that you should do this, it is something that you should do as often as you can.

Of course this doesn't mean that you can't do anything you like and only ever do what your partner wants. You should still do the things you like but also remember to do things that your partner likes so they know that you care enough to do that for them. Simple things like helping out with the dishes or vacuuming can go a long way.

All men and women are different and have different needs so there is no set rule for every relationship. Some people like to be told that they are loved quite often and like to be spoilt with romantic gestures. If your partner is one such person then you should make an effort to do these things.

We sometimes think that all people will like the same things or you may think that because you like something your partner will like it too. It isn't always the case though so you need to get to know what your partner likes.

Respect is another important lesson that we can learn from relationships experts. You should always treat your partner with respect and show them by your actions that you do respect them. Never talk down to your partner or put them down in front of others, always show them respect and love.

Quite often we treat strangers better than we treat those closest to us. If we are going to be home late we might not think to call them and let them know. We might not think it necessary to apologize for things that we would apologize to others for. Listen to the relationships experts and ask yourself do you treat others better than you treat your partner? If so, then it is time to start making some changes.

After Marriage-Nature Of The Beast

A failed marriage can be a hard thing to deal with. You spend all that time getting to know someone, trusting someone, only for it to fall flat on the ground. But that is the nature of the beast, taking risks and trying to find that certain someone.

Like most things in life, finding your soul mate is trial and error. Nobody knows everything about everybody, that is why we get to know people so we can better understand them. But people change over time and the person you fell in love with may not be the same person today.

That is why most marriages end in divorce, because we never truly understand someone and it is always a gamble. But do not let that dissuade you. There is still life after marriage. And you will probably end up dating again.

As traumatic and heart breaking as it is, it really is just like riding a bike. It hurts when you fall off but you need to just pick yourself back up and get back on the dating train. Just because your previous marriage failed does not mean you wont find someone else who might be more compatible with you.

The problems you face after marriage is that you are left hurting. You opened yourself up to someone, you made yourself vulnerable and it came around to bite you in the butt. Why subject yourself to that again? Because nobody wants to be alone, we all want someone we can confide in and trust.

So while it may be difficult you should never give up. That does not mean you should walk the same path, though. There are probably reasons why your marriage failed and you would not want to repeat those same mistakes.

The thing you have to keep in mind is that we learn from failure. After you take the time to heal your wounds and move on with your life, you may find yourself in a position where you are able to look back and reflect on your marriage.

Try to find out what went wrong. Were you blinded by love and ignored the warning signs that they weren't your ideal spouse? Did you cause the problems and they simply could not handle it? Did you force yourself to be with someone who didn't deserve you simply because of peer pressure or because you were afraid of being alone?

These are all questions you should ask yourself. When you find out where everything went wrong, make sure you avoid repeating those mistakes. Make sure you find someone you are compatible with. While people do change, they only change on the outside.

The heart of a person never changed so you can get a glimpse of the future by taking note of their true nature. They may seem nice now but there are always warning signs. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes and keep trying, there are seven billion people on this planet, your special someone is out there somewhere. You just have to keep looking until you find them.

Emotional Infidelity-Another Way You Can Cheat

Emotional infidelity may sound like a strange concept but it is real. We are raised to believe that cheating is when you have sexual relations with another person outside of your relationship, but that is not the only way you can cheat.

There is also an emotional affair. An emotional affair is when you share your intimate feelings with someone other then your partner. Do not mistake this for simply having friends or the way you love your kids, it is something entirely different.

Essentially the feelings you have for your partner are what create the emotional backbone for a relationship. But what happens when you have similar feelings for someone else? This is emotional infidelity and it can be just as harmful as a physical affair.

When someone is in a relationship they like to believe that they are the center of their partners universe. They want to believe they are special and that the love for them is not something that can just be passed around.

That is what makes sexual affairs so harmful, it is not just the fact that you were physically intimate with another person. It is that you were emotionally intimate as well. Physical relations are something you share with someone you deeply care about, so to do so with another shows you care for them and this can really hurt your partner.

That is why an emotional affair often leads to a physical one. But even if it never progresses to that level it can still hurt. Nobody wants to feel like they are replaceable or something to be discarded once used.

An emotional affair can start innocent enough. It can be something as simple as getting a good impression from someone and developing that relationship further. The breaking point from when it stops being a normal relationship to something more intimate is when you let your guard down and ignore the boundaries we often set for ourselves.

There are lines that separate people, we place them into different categories. There are friends, family, lovers all of whom you care deeply for but in different ways. The emotional infidelity comes in when you blur the lines between groups. When you start caring for someone as more then just a friend and more as a lover.

It is important to stay within the lines and not to carelessly hand out your love. One of the best ways to determine if you may have crossed the line is to ask yourself a simple question. Do you confide in someone more then your partner?

It is not a clear cut question since there are some secrets you do not want your partner to know. But generally if you share everything with someone other then your partner, this could be a problem. Trust is fundamental for a relationship and if you trust someone more then your partner, it might lead to further problems down the road.

An emotional affair is a tricky business and it is not as clear cut as a physical affair. You just need to try your best not to mix your feelings and ensure that a friend just remains a friend.

Relationship Advice Online-Wow Should You Take This Advice

Wow, should you really pay attention to any relationship advice online? Well, maybe. After all you don't have any idea of the qualifications of the person who is giving out the advice, they might not know what they are talking about. On the other hand, you can always search for advice online and use your own brain and your own common sense to determine how good the advice really is.

If you just want some basic relationship advice online about relatively unimportant things, maybe just to find other opinions on some aspect of your relationship, you can probably find some really great advice. Again, always just use your head and common sense. You will usually be able to tell if some piece of advice seems to make sense or if it is just a lot of garbage.

But if you have a really important issue you need resolved, something that really could be the end of your relationship if it isn't resolved properly, you may want to skip the internet entirely and go meet with a therapist.

A therapist is trained and may be able to help you and your partner navigate troubled waters. sometimes that all a couple really needs, just some guidance. Someone to point out a clear path ahead. A therapist may be your best bet for that.

A word of caution though, as with any other profession, not all therapists are created equal. There is more to a good therapist than just a lot of diplomas hanging on the wall. Do you even like the therapist? Do you feel comfortable with them? Do you trust them? These may seem like unimportant issues but they really aren't.

If you don't trust, like or feel comfortable with a therapist, how can you expect to trust the advice they give you? If you don't trust it, you won't follow it and it won't help you and your partner, will it?

Another important thing to keep in mind is whether or not your partner will be willing to join you not only at the therapy appointments but follow through with the recommendations of the therapist.

For example, before my divorce, I tried to save my marriage and I convinced my husband to go to a therapist with me. He didn't want to go but eventually agreed. One of the big problems in our marriage at the time was the fact that my husband had anger issues. He would fly off the handle at the drop of a hat and would yell at me and the kids.

So, to make things better the therapist recommended that my husband and I have code word that I could say if he was getting out of control. The problem was the first time I tried to use the code word he told me to "shut the F up" right in front of our kids. Needless to say, that was the end of our marriage.

So, the point is, if you aren't both 100% committed to making changes and working on your relationship no amount of relationship advice online, or off, will help.

Diffrent Types Of Relationship-What Direction Is Your Relationship Going

Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought it was going in one direction but the other person thought it was going in another? There are many diffrent types of relationship and it can cause a lot of pain if the two people in the relationship have different ideas of what the relationship really is, or should be.

It can be a really tough thing to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to which of the different types of relationship you each want to have. For example, if you are looking for someone to marry and want to start dating "seriously" when should you let the person you just started dating know that?

Most of us would be very hesitant to bring it up too early in the relationship because we don't want to sound desperate or like some sort of stalker. But, on the other hand, why would you want to spend months in a relationship with someone who has absolutely no interest in getting married anytime soon? It would be hard for both of you if you got in too deep only to discover that you each had different ideas of what the relationship was really all about.

One good way to avoid this, without having to actually worry about finding the right time to talk about it, would be to join an online dating site. Many of these sties are geared to a certain type of dating only so everyone on there has a pretty good idea of what the other is looking for.

Even if the dating site you choose to join isn't catering to just one type of relationship, they will usually allow you to personalize your profile and include that type of information. So again, whoever you meet will know ahead of time what you are looking for whether it is just casual dating or the hope of finding something more serious.

Of course, you can meet people the old fashioned way too, you can have your friends set you up. This too may be a good way to ensure that the person you meet is looking for the same type of relationship you are. Hopefully your friends will only set you up with people who are at the same place you are.

Failing all that, when is the best time to let the person you are dating know what type of relationship you really want? Well, I would have to say that that would depend to a large degree on the maturity level of the people involved. For example, if you are dating someone who is mature and who you can talk openly with, it should be pretty easy for you to accurately explain what you are looking for without coming on too strong.

If you are careful of how you lay things out it should be able to be done in a non threatening way for the other person, even if they want something different. That is the best advice I can give you on how to define all the diffrent types of relationship and which one you want.

Romantic Relationships-Tips To Not Hurt The Ones You Love

Romantic relationships, is there any other type of relationship in all the history of mankind that has created such joy and such pain? Probably not. There is a saying that goes "you hurt the ones you love" and it must be true based on all the sad songs and self help advice on the subject of relationships.

Whether you are looking for romantic relationships or just need some advice on how to save or make yours better, this article may be able to help out. There is no one size fits all solution to relationship problems, it is up to the couple to figure out what the issues are and how best to deal with them, but there are a few common issues that tend to come up over and over again.

Here are some of those issues along with some ideas of the best way to resolve them:

1. The all time biggie: lack of communication. But what in the world does that really mean? Well, it's all about being able to let others know what you want or don't want. Many people think that communication is about talking, and to a point it is, but it is actually much deeper than that. It's about being able to identify your own feelings and be able to express that to your partner in a constructive, non accusatory manner. That can be the trick.

We are often conditioned to not get angry or upset, this can be especially true for women who even in today's society are still expected to be "nice". After a lifetime of holding your frustration and anger, it can be a challenge to open up and let your partner know what is on your mind.

So if you and your partner seem to be doing a lot of head butting and you just don't seem to be on the same page, you need to each start with yourself first. Make sure you learn how to identify your feelings and then teach yourself constructive ways to articulate those feelings to your partner.

2. Sometimes people just come from different sides of things. You see things one way and your partner sees them another. This can be overcome to a large degree if you just pick people who you have a lot in common with. No one says the two of you should be pretty much identical in the way you look at things, but some common ground on the big issues is a good idea.

If you and your partner are totally different the next best thing would be to agree to disagree. That may sound odd, but as long as the issues you don't see eye to eye on aren't really that important than you don't really have to discuss them at all. Just respect each others intelligence and right to have their own opinion and you should be fine.

3. Learn to compromise. No matter how in sync the two of you are, you will inevitably have some disagreements. There will be times when you need to meet in the middle. Some people are just too competitive, for lack of a better word, and they have to "win" at everything. They find it very hard to just back down. If you want to have good romantic relationships, you must learn how to compromise, period.

Personal Relationships-Many Relationships Many Rules

There are many types of personal relationships we enter into throughout our lives. We have romantic relationships, relationships with friends and family and even relationships with our children and co workers. For each type of relationship there is usually a distinct set of "rules" or at least expectations.

So many people struggle unnecessarily when it comes to their personal relationships. I am not a therapist or a counselor but I do have a pretty good idea as to why some people just can't seem to have a solid and healthy relationship.

I believe that no matter what type of relationship you have the ultimate success or failure will all begin with you. Here is what I mean:

1. If you are insecure you will attract other insecure people to you. Talk about the blind leading the blind. These types of relationships aren't healthy or strong because the people in them aren't healthy and strong, and least not emotionally.

Now I'm not talking about having some insecurities, we all have those. I'm talking about the deep seated feelings of not being good enough... at anything. Most people would deny that they are insecure but it's really pretty easy to spot the signs.

For men it often shows up as overcompensating. They have a big truck or they talk overly loud or act overly macho. They often like to find submissive women who they can push around.

For women it shows up as being a submissive women who is pushed around.

If you find yourself to be in a bad relationship take some time to "strengthen" yourself. That is, in my opinion, one of the best things you can do to have better relationships. This applies to all types of relationships and not just romantic ones.

2. Another problem many people have, and I think this is directly related to insecurity too, is that they can't seem to speak up. They allow others to talk over them both literally and figuratively. They just don't have a "voice" and they aren't good at "demanding" that someone listen.

Find your voice. Teach yourself how to identify your feelings and be able to express those feelings to the people in your life. Don't be afraid of the reactions you may get, they may not be ideal, but ultimately learning to express yourself will allow you to meet more confidant people and have better relationships.

When people think of relationship issues they almost always think of romantic relationships, but that is just one of many types of relationships most people will have during their lifetime. Many of the elements that go into a successful and happy relationship can be learned. If you are willing to invest some time, and maybe find a good therapist, you can make changes and improve all the relationships in your life.

personal relationships can be the best part of our lives or they can be something that brings us a lot of pain. While we don't have complete control over the outcome of any given relationship, there are many things you can do to increase your odds of having more satisfying relationships and fewer bad ones.

Communication Relationships-Has Become A Cliche

We hear it so much it has become cliche, even so, that doesn't diminish the importance of good communication relationships. People often don't communicate well, it's a lot more than just talking and listening. There are millions of words we use and millions of non verbal communication that we use on a daily basis. To be effective at communicating with your partner, you want to be aware of both forms of communication verbal and non verbal.

How many times have you told your spouse something and you just knew they were not really listening? Sure, they may have been looking at you but you could just tell that they were not "engaged" with what you were saying? Probably more times than you can count.

Why does this happen? What happened to the good old days when your partner hung on your every word? Well, in most cases it is just a case of taking each other for granted. I don't know who started it first but it may have gone something like this:

1. You would try to tell your partner something, a story or whatever, and you could tell they weren't listening to you.

2. Since you know they never really "heard" you the first time, you repeat the story.

3. Your partner was "kind of" listening and heard part of your story so when you repeat it they really tune you out.

4. So, you try to repeat your story hoping it will be heard but again, you know your partner is not listening. In the meantime they are getting upset with you because you are repeating yourself over and over and you are getting upset with them because they don't listen to you.

Sound familiar? Many couples go through this and it is not easy to break that cycle once it starts. The first step to learning better communication is to ... well, communicate. Explain to your partner (explain, don't blame. Blaming will only make them angry and defensive and you won't accomplish anything if that happens) that you want to work on your communication skills and you would like them to work with you.

Hopefully, your partner is mature enough and loves you and the relationship enough that they will try. It's important to have realistic expectations. It's another cliche that women are more talkative than men, just balance out your relationship based on the two people in it. If your husband is the talkative one than you may be the one who has to be more willing to listen and talk more.

If one of you has been "trained" to hold their tongue either because you are afraid of upsetting your partner or because that is the way you were brought up, it's time to get over it. Learn to speak up and don't expect your partner to interpret your moods and feelings. Let them know.

I have a friend who gets very frustrated with his wife. If he wants to go to a movie, for example, he will ask her if she wants to go. She will say "yes" but her tone and body language actually indicate that she doesn't really want to go. So, he asks if she really wants to go and usually she gets aggravated that he has asked twice but if she would just speak up and say what she really means there could be less trouble.

This is just one simple example of the tension that can arise when there is not
communication relationships.

Long Distance Relationships-Will It Work Either Way

Do long distance relationships really have any chance at all of succeeding? Well, that depends on the two people in the relationship. It is very important that the two of you are on the same page and want the same things. If you aren't on the same page or don't want the same things your relationship probably wouldn't work out even if it weren't long distance.

Being separated for long periods of time from the person you love is never easy. When you are in love with someone you want to spend pretty much every waking moment with them. The last thing you want is to be away from them for a short time let alone an extended period of time.

In order to increase your odds of having your long distance relationships work out well and allowing the two of you to stay together, here are some things you really should keep in mind and discuss with your partner:

1. Everyone, and every couple, is different so it's very important that you have "the talk". And yes, I mean about sex. Some people think that it is ok to have casual relationships while they are apart while others think that even if they are apart they should stay faithful. No matter which camp you are in you have to make sure your partner is on the same page. This is not the time to assume anything. Talk about it and let them know what you expect and makes sure they are willing to live by those "rules".

2. Keeping the lines of communication open is always important for any relationship, it's just a little harder when that relationship is a long distance one. Fortunately, there are so many technological advances today it's pretty easy to keep in touch. Instead of just talking on the phone you can each get a web cam and have a face to face conversation. That can make things so much more intimate and more like you are actually together.

3. Another thing for the two of you to consider is when you will visit each other. Who will go where? Who will pay? Where will you each stay? How often will you visit? These are all great things to discuss before hand. It won't do the relationship any good if one person has one idea about how frequently you will see each other and the other person has a totally different idea. Talk it out first.

4. Having an "end point" is a good idea too. How long will the long distance part be an issue? Is someone just going away to school or will one partner eventually be joining the other? Knowing that it won't be forever can really help out.

Being away from the one you love isn't the most fun thing in the world, but it doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship either. It is possible to make
long distance relationships work, especially if you both have the same ideas from the start.

It Will Take Work But You Can Save Marriage

If you're marriage is in trouble you can save marriage from divorce if you are prepared to put some effort into it. Marriage is a partnership and it takes both partners to make it work. Remember the reason you got married in the first place - you found someone that you want to grow old with and make a home and have a family with. You found someone that you love.

So when everything started out so well, why has it turned bad now? Whose fault is it that the relationship hasn't turned out the way you dreamt it would? Does it really matter whose fault it is? Even couples who are so in love and have a strong relationship will have difficult moments to work through in their marriage. Marriage isn't always easy and sometimes you have to work at it. There is hope of saving your marriage if you both want to.

When a marriage goes through a difficult period there is usually not much communication going on between the partners. To save your marriage you need to open the lines of communication and take back control. You can't just live day by day hoping that things will sort themself out, you need to take control and fix your marriage. If you don't nurture and work at your marriage, you will lose it.

To work at your marriage effectively you need to talk about things. When you leave things without talking about them then there can be many misconceptions or misunderstandings. Each partner looks at things from their own perspective and doesn't really know how the other person feels. They may misinterpret things that are said or done because of the way that they are thinking. You need to talk to each other and listen to one another and try to see things from the other person's point of view. Good communication is essential to saving a marriage.

You love each other once and that love is probably still there, buried beneath the stress of life's problems. You get caught up in the day to day running of life that you let love slip by. You spend all your time working, paying bills, running the kids around and you just don't have enough time to spend with each other. When you first get married you don't think of the future and all the extra, stressful things that will come into your life. Although marriage may not be exactly as you imagined it, you can work toward getting that fairy tale marriage back.

First you need to talk about the problems in your marriage. Tell each other how you perceive what is happening and how you feel about it. Take the time to really listen to your partner and try to understand how they are feeling. By talking about things you can clear up any misconceptions or misunderstanding. Next you need to make a plan on how to save your marriage. Sort out finances by making a budget and sticking to it. Schedule a time in your week for you to spend time together. Start dating again, once a week go out for dinner or go to a movie or just go for a walk down the beach. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you are doing it together. Eat dinner together as a family at the dinner table and not sitting on the sofa watching TV.

You can't just go on as you are hoping for some miracle to happen to save your marriage. You need to make changes in your life and start to work on saving your marriage. If you really want your marriage to work you can save marriage if you put in the effort.

The Job Of The Relationships Wife-It Can Be Overwhelming

It isn't always being the relationships wife and trying to keep the relationship running smoothly. It often feels like you have all the responsibility and it can become a bit overwhelming at times. Many years ago men went out to work while the woman stayed home to take care of the house and family. These days the wife is often going out to work too and still expected to look after the home also.

If you try to do it all yourself you may become exhausted and have to sacrifice much of your own needs. Not only do you have a job, a house to look after, but it is often put on you to preserve the marriage and keep the spark in the relationship. Often women may end up finding themselves exhausted and even depressed.

There are two people in a relationship and you shouldn't take all the blame if your relationship is struggling. Your husband should pull his weight and make an effort to keep your relationship alive. If you both have jobs then you should both share in the housework too. If you find your relationship in trouble you need to keep in mind that there are two parties and it is not all the fault of the relationships wife.

If you are the husband you may feel that nothing you do makes your wife happy. You need to remember though that it is not your sole duty to keep your wife happy, she also needs to take some responsibility for her own happiness. Although your actions will have an effect on her happiness, she is responsible for her happiness too.

Women and men have different needs and it is important to recognize this. If you are trying to improve your relationship then you should sit down and discuss your needs so that you will both have an idea of what the other person wants and needs.

One great book that shows the different ways and needs of men and women is John Gray's Mars and Venus. Women and often more emotional than men and something that a woman may get upset about might not mean as much to a man. Men and women will approach situations and confrontations differently.

If you feel that your relationship is quite balanced and you share things equally you may still be surprised to discover that your thoughts and views are actually quite different. Men and women tend to have different roles that they fall into. You can read books about the differences between men and women and you will most likely be quite surprised.

Your spouse might not be interested in reading books but you could still have a read and see what you think. However, it takes two people to save a relationship and the relationships wife cannot do it all on her own. Having said that, sometimes if you begin to make an effort that effort will rub off on the husband and he will respond by putting in an effort himself.

Sometimes it's just a matter of being more thoughtful and respectful to your husband and he will respond by being more thoughtful and respectful to you. The role of the relationships wife can be an emotional and exhausting one but it is also one that is satisfying and rewarding.

Relationship Edicate-Do You Have It

We all strive for a relationship with other people, whether it be as friends, family, or lovers. Humans are social by nature and we generally do not like being alone. But there are some relationship edicate that we have to observe, otherwise our relationships may take a turn for the worst.

Generally a good rule of thumb is also the golden rule, do unto others as you would have done to you. Basically if you would not like being stood up on a date, or being lied to, it probably is a good idea not to do these things to others.

Always show respect for others, respect and trust are the foundation for a good, long lasting relationship. If you do not respect the other person, you will probably not treat them as they deserve to be treated. Since people do not like being mistreated or looked down on, your relationship most likely will not last.

If you do not trust the other person, this as well can lead to problems. Trust is paramount for a proper relationship since if you can not trust them, then how can they be considered a friend or a lover?

Relationship edicate extends beyond simply showing respect and trust. Like all forms of etiquette there are various things you should observe. Just as you should use the proper fork at a fancy restaurant you should make sure to abide by social rules as well.

A relationship is a give and take ordeal, you give to your friend or lover, and they give to you. But you need to know when to give and when to take, since like with everything else there is a time and place. If you give too much you can come off as overbearing and make the other person uncomfortable.

On the other side if you take too much you can come off as selfish or needy and this will just drive the other person away. It requires proper etiquette to know how to moderate yourself properly and to achieve the right balance.

Compromise is another thing you should keep in mind. Not everyone sees eye to eye on every little thing. Compromising is what allows most relationships to work. One of you may want to see one movie, while the other wants to see a different movie. You could compromise and agree to watch one movie now, and then watch the other movie next time.

If you can not come to an agreement that can lead to resentment since it looks as if you are simply selfish and always want things your way. Sometimes it requires one of you to step up and admit defeat. If one of you does that, the other will probably follow through.

It takes two to fight so as long as someone is the bigger man (or woman) and simply goes with the flow it can make things run a lot smoother. However that does not mean you should always do this, as I said it is a give and take, if you always back down then they take while you give. Both of you have to give in once and a while.

Relaitonship Breakup Advice-Sorry Nothing Makes It Easy

Breakups can be tough on both the person getting dumped and the person doing the breaking up. You spend all that time and effort into building a relationship with the person and in the end it was all for nothing as the whole thing comes crashing down. This can be hard no matter how you look at it.

Relationships can fail for any number of reasons. People are different and they can change over time, the person you got involved with may not be the same person they are today. Or maybe it was something as simple as you getting bored. No matter the reason breakups can be emotionally taxing ordeals.

Now do not get me wrong, not all relationships end due to disaster. There are plenty of times where the two people simply agree it wont work and go their separate ways. This is the best possible breakup since nobody is really left feeling hurt.

Unfortunately it does not always go that way and you may be left feeling hurt and used. This is typically where people need some relaitonship breakup advice to help them get through this troubling time.

Some of the things you should keep in mind is that you should never beg your ex to return. You may still love them and they may still love you, but if they feel this wont work out, then there is not much you can do or say to change their mind. If you persist all this does is make you look pathetic and annoys them.

Hold your head high and do not stoop to that level, while it may hurt it is best to simply accept their decision and move on with your life. Dwelling over what happened will not change the past, and it will just keep you from moving forward.

You should also try to reflect on the relationship and try to determine where it went wrong. Regardless of which side of the breakup you were on, you can still find the problems. If you were the one at fault, own up to your mistakes and try to fix them so that you do not repeat them in your next relationship. If they were at fault try to avoid hooking up with someone with similar flaws, otherwise you will just end up repeating history.

Another good relaitonship breakup advice is to try and get away after a breakup. A nice vacation or simply spending the weekend somewhere can do you a world of good. It helps take your mind off the whole thing and can uplift your spirits. It is not wrong to want to avoid pain, so distracting yourself from the emotional trauma of it all is a good thing.

In the end, simply remember that love is about trial and error like everything else. We do not know every single thing about our partners so we wont know if we are a good match or not. Simply keep on the horse and keep searching for your true soul mate, and if you hit a bump along the way do not let that discourage you.