Monday, October 31, 2011

A Divorce By Mail

Divorces are taxing affairs to deal with and often take a lot of time and money. So avoiding as much of the grief and hassle as you can is the best thing you can do. There are a variety of ways you can go about avoiding all the unnecessary troubles that accompany a divorce.

A divorce by mail is one of the ways you can go about avoiding all the grief. If you deal with your spouse indirectly you do not have to deal with all the emotional troubles and even potential legal troubles. It is best to keep your distance during a divorce.

If you talk to your spouse without a lawyer present, you might end up agreeing to something you should not or saying something you should not. This is why you should always have your lawyer present when dealing with your spouse

Also, if you have children you will want to try and keep them out of it as much as you can. During a divorce parents often end up making very large mistakes when it comes to their kids. They try to force the kids to pick sides and try to turn the kids against the other parent. This sounds awful but it does make sense.

The parent is worried about what is going on and is worried about the future. They are losing their spouse and no matter what this will have an emotional impact. So they want to ensure their kids will not leave them, and that their kids still love them. This comes out by the parent trying to force the kid to choose them.

It is best to avoid doing this. Even in a nasty divorce you will want to have at least a little cooperation with your spouse in order to protect your kids and give them a stable environment. Just because your life is in turmoil does not mean your kid's lives should be as well.

Another thing you can do in a divorce by mail is make proper demands. In some divorces people will try to take revenge for misdeeds by taking everything they can. As much as you may feel wronged, it is best to just make a fair and equal agreement and move on. Getting on with your life is better then trying to get some petty revenge.

During a divorce you will also want to make sure you keep good and detailed records. One spouse hiding money from another is a common occurrence during a divorce so by maintaining detailed records you can prove to the court that your spouse has done this.

You also want to keep close tabs on shared accounts or close them entirely. Preventing your spouse from taking all the money and leaving you high and dry is a very important step you must take in order to protect yourself.

A divorce by mail can be a challenge but ultimately it will allow you to have the least amount of grief and hassle. And being able to get through your divorce with the least amount of emotional drain is always best.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

A Divorce Certificate

A divorce certificate is something that comes out of every divorce. It lists the pertinent information such as both parties names, and when and where the divorce. These are pretty much the same as a marriage certificate, only for divorces.

A divorce can be a very painful and taxing experience. It can be long and drawn out and cost a lot of money. But as problematic as it is, it is also often very necessary as both parties have grown apart for whatever reason. However with all those problems to deal with, having to deal with getting a certificate is simply one more problem to deal with.

There are ways you can go about avoiding, or at the very least, minimizing the negative effects a divorce might have on your life. And considering how traumatic a divorce can be, anything that might help alleviate those pains should be welcomed with open arms.

Firs thing you want to remember when dealing with a divorce is to not lose your cool. Divorces are notorious for bringing out our emotional sides, and our ugly sides. The stress and pain of the whole fiasco can get to you, causing you to do things you might regret. So always remember to keep your composure as best you can.

This also ties in with children, if you have any. Kids are often the biggest victims in a divorce. As a parent you want to protect your kids but divorces often cloud this and cause you to make mistakes. Even though you are a parent, you are also human. You might talk bad about your spouse in front of your kids, subtly influencing their views.

You might also openly try to turn your kids against your spouse, and force them to choose sides. This is perfectly understandable, you are hurting and want to know your kids will not abandon you, and that they still love you.

But this is part of keeping a cool head, they are just kids. You need to realize that no matter what problems you have, they will always love you. So instead of trying to make them pick sides, instead work together with your spouse to ensure your kids do not suffer.

While a divorce certificate has no effect on this, the divorce itself will influence their lives significantly. It is your job as their parent to protect them as much as possible and to make sure their lives are not disrupted just because yours is.

While protecting your kids is important, there are also other important aspects that need your consideration as well, such as keeping tabs on your finances. You want to protect yourself as much as possible so keeping records of your money can prevent your spouse from taking it all and hiding it, preventing you from getting any.

A divorce can be a very problematic occurrence that requires a lot of will power and focus. There are so many aspects you have to deal with, from protecting the kids to protecting yourself, to getting a divorce certificate. Just try not to get overwhelmed and try to rely on those closest to you for help.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Divorce Checklist

Divorces are very long and troublesome ordeals. They can be dragged out for a long time which can in turn run up the cost. They can also be very emotionally draining. So it is wise to be as prepared as you can be for your divorce so you do not get overwhelmed.

A divorce checklist can help you stay organized and keep your thoughts oriented during your divorce. There is so much going on that you need to be able to focus on what is important so you can get through this.

There are a lot of things you could add to your check list, so I can not list everything simply because there is so much. But there are some rather big things you should keep in mind when proceeding forward.

1. Keep your kids out of it. If you have kids, then this is probably the most important one. Divorces have a nasty habit of dragging children into the mix, for a variety of reasons. Whether it is because you are afraid of losing your kids along with everything else, and thus try to force them to pick you over your spouse.

Or because you are trying to spite your spouse by turning your kids against them. Or even just because you lost your cool and say things you should not in front of them. Try to remember that just because your life is in turmoil does not mean you should stop protecting your kids.

2. Another addition to a divorce checklist should be to make sure you get a good lawyer. You might think that all lawyers are there for you, on your side. But that is not always the case. Some lawyers want to take the path of least resistance and get it over with as soon as possible so they can get paid. So make sure you get a lawyer willing to go all out and fight for you.

3. Maintain records of your finances and assets. Keeping track of everything can make sure nothings gets lost or stolen during your divorce. A dirty trick some people play is hiding money to prevent their spouse from getting a fair amount. By keeping detailed records you can prevent this from happening.

4. Try to avoid contact with your spouse. Using your lawyers to communicate is your best bet. If you speak to your spouse without your lawyer present, you might agree to something you should not have, or say something that should not have been said. Making sure you only deal with your lawyer protects you during the divorce.

A divorce is not a pleasant affair and can be very troubling and overwhelming. But if you use a divorce checklist to help you organize your thoughts and stay focused, you can do well in your divorce. It is all about keeping your head above water and not getting dragged down during the whole ordeal. As long as you write up a check list with everything you need to worry about, you can keep yourself covered mentally, you do not want to break down during your divorce after all.

Friday, October 28, 2011

A Divorce Attorney

A divorce is a very difficult ordeal for anyone to deal with. It is made even more difficult by the inclusion of lawyers and all the legal hurdles you have to jump over. This is what makes a a divorce attorney so important. Like it or not, dealing with lawyers and money are part of a divorce. So it is imperative that you get the best attorney you can.

There are numerous things you should look into when deciding what kind of lawyer to get. The right lawyer really can make or break a divorce so to get the best outcome you need to have the best lawyer fighting for you. But not all lawyers all the same, or even work in the same fields of law. So you need to do your research to find the one best suited for your divorce.

The first thing you need to look into when looking for a lawyer is what they specialize in. There are different types of lawyers, from general lawyers to specialized ones. A lawyer who works only on family law and divorces will have a lot more knowledge about it then a lawyer who works on a variety of topics.

By getting a lawyer who specializes in divorces, you are getting a lawyer with intricate knowledge to the workings of a divorce. They can protect you against loop holes and over sights while making sure you get your fair due.

Another thing you want in a divorce attorney is for them to be up front with their fees. A lot of lawyers shy away when asked about how much they charge and like to leave it vague until it is time to get paid. By getting a lawyer who is up front with you about how much they charge, you know exactly what you are getting into. You might also be able to work out a payment plan with them if you are having money problems.

One of the most important things you should look into is whether or not your lawyer is truly on your side. Some lawyers really could not care less, and will opt to take the easiest route to get the divorce settled as quickly as possible so they can get paid. It is best to ensure you get a lawyer who will fight for you and make sure you get what you want out of your divorce.

Nothing is worse then having your own lawyer throw you to the wolves just to get his money. I can tell you from experience that there is not much worse then that in a divorce. So making sure you find a lawyer who will actually fight for you is the most important thing in your lawyer. So make sure to get recommendations from credible sources.

Finding a divorce attorney can be a difficult process and just one more thing you have to worry about during an already troubling time. But it is an important aspect of your divorce and you will want to get the best lawyer you can to make the whole ordeal just a little bit easier.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Divorce Is Troublesome

As there are a lot of hurdles to deal with in a lot of circumstances when one partner gives the other divorce papers the recipient will refuse to sign In the vein attempt at halting the divorce however this is not the
case.

The courts have realizes this is a possible, and rather common occurrence and have made laws to prevent it. When one spouse refuses to sign the divorce papers for 30 days, it comes down to what is called a divorce by default. This is basically where the recipient has forfeited their right to have a say in the divorce.

While they may have thought they were hindering the process, in reality all they were doing is making it easier on the person serving the divorce. By refusing to sign the papers they wave their right to have any say over the divorce, as such they can not contest the split of assets.

The person serving the divorce can file a claim for whatever assets they wish and if the judge approves, then that spouse gets it all without hassle. This can be the easiest method of divorce but also the hardest for the one being served. As they can have much more taken then if they had fought.

While a divorce by default is the simplest and easiest method of divorce, it is still a divorce and divorces are inherently troublesome and time consuming. So do not think you can just get a default divorce willy nilly and get everything you want. As there are still procedures you must follow.

The default divorce happens when the recipient does not sign the divorce papers for 30 days, but you need to prove to the court that this is what really happened. You have to show evidence that you did indeed contact your spouse and gave them the papers, and that they willingly chose not to sign them.

If you do not provide evidence of this, then you can not proceed on with your divorce. There are a variety of ways you can proof this and it is best to talk with your lawyer about the best method. Your lawyer will be able to tell you what exactly you need to do in order to prove to the court that you served your spouse the papers.

Proving that you served the papers is the most complicated part of the process, as well as the most time consuming since you have to wait the full 30 days. But after you get past this part it is fairly smooth sailing. Since after you have proven that your spouse received the papers but refused to sign them, you can move on with the rest of the process.

You can lay claim to assets acquired during your marriage and once you have it all listed you can present it to the judge. Again you should work with your lawyer to determine what exactly you want to get. If the judge approves of your claims then that is pretty much it. You have won your divorce and gotten what you wanted.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A Divorce Ceremony

A divorce can be a very traumatic and taxing event. It can be a lengthy and costly experience and can generally just bring you down. So it is no wonder that people want to celebrate and feel good after it is all done and the smoke has settled.

A divorce ceremony is not as uncommon as you might think. A lot of people will hold a party when a divorce is finalized and done with. It can be a great way to lift the spirits and unwind after such a long and taxing process.

However a lot of people go into such an event with the wrong mind set. Just like everything, the meaning put into it is just as important as the celebration itself. If you go into it with the wrong attitude, it will not give you what you are looking for.

A lot of people will perform actions during the ceremony such as giving back rings, or burning their marriage certificate or reversing their vows. This all might sound like a fun idea at the time but it can hinder your growth into the future.

The whole point of a divorce ceremony is to use it to accept what has happened, to cleanse yourself and move forward. If you use it to cultivate the negative emotions, the anger and bitterness you feel, it is being counter productive and just holding you back.

You should use that ceremony as a chance to let it all go, flush out all those negative emotions. The ceremony should be there to help you accept the divorce, accept why it ended, understand why it ended, and forgive your spouse. By letting go of all those negative emotions and coming to terms with it all, you can freely move on with your life.

This is especially true if your marriage was not that great and ended on bad terms. Holding a grudge does not do anybody any good.

What you can do to help you with this is to remember all the good times that were had. Even if your marriage was bad and ended badly, there had to have been good times as well. After all there is a reason you fell in love with them and married them in the first place.

By recalling all those good times you had together, you can better accept all the bad times as well. And accepting it all, the good and the bad, is the kind of mindset you need in such a ceremony.

So while divorces are often seen as failures on the part of both parties. And while they are often negative affairs. You do not need to let that negativity influence you forever. A divorce ceremony is the best time for moving on with your life.

Also remember to save any documents you might have. As I mentioned earlier, many people will burn their marriage certificate and you should not do this. Not only does it cultivate those negative feelings, but you may very well need that document some day. So keeping it somewhere safe and sound can both be a legal safety net, and also an emotional way of accepting what has happened and locking that part of your life away.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Divorce Case-Also Is Effected By The Bad Economy

In today's economic climate everybody is strapped for cash and struggling to pay the bills. So you may not be able to afford the costs of getting a divorce. From hiring a lawyer, getting mediation and other services the cost of a divorce can be quite substantial. So how do you go about a divorce case if you can not afford it?

This is a big reason why a lot of couples stay in unhappy marriages instead of getting a divorce. They are afraid of how much it might cost and worried about what that debt would do to their future if they did decide to proceed.

The fear of not being able to afford a divorce is a great scare tactic employed in marriages to ensure the unhappy party remains. But it is only that, a scare tactic. While divorces can be expensive there are ways to get around those expenses.

Leaving your spouse does not mean you have to become poor and live on the street. All you have to do is find ways to getting a divorce without breaking your wallet.

You can start a divorce for very little and find ways of solving it outside of the court, saving you money. You know your situation better then anyone else so paying an attorney hundreds an hour just so you can sit there and recount your tale, only to spend a few more hours as he tries to get a handle on it, is just a waste of money.

You really do not need a lawyer in a divorce case as you can represent yourself. This might seem scary and, to be honest, it really is. A divorce case is like any other court case and can be quite daunting. But if you are serious about ending your marriage but simply do not have the money, this is probably the best way.

There are so many sources of information out there thanks to the internet. So you can educate yourself on the ins and outs of your divorce case in order to better represent yourself. There are forums out there where people will share their stories and where divorce attorneys and law students share their knowledge to help people in your position.

There are also self help books and the good old law books that can teach you what you need to know. A simple trip to your local library can help you pick up a lot of excellent reference material for your court case.

So whether it is using other people or books, online or off, there is so much information out there that you can get for free. By utilizing this knowledge you can represent yourself in your divorce case and save hundreds on attorney fees. If you arm yourself properly with all the knowledge you have collected, a divorce case should not prove to be as daunting as you once thought.

There is a risk of you representing yourself but if you simply do not have the money, at least you can arm yourself properly and go in with a fighting chance.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Divorce Blog

A divorce is never easy, even if done on good terms there are so many things you have to take into consideration. And if it is not on good terms, that just makes everything that much harder. So avoiding the grief and pain of a divorce is always desirable. There are numerous ways you can avoid excess grief during a divorce.

A divorce blog will be a good way of finding out ways to avoid grief. But also articles such as this can contain methods to help you out. While there are countless ways you can use to avoid grief during a divorce, there are five that will be listed here.

1: Avoid involving children. If you have kids then you want to do what is best for them and ensure they are happy and healthy. But a divorce can often bring out our ugly sides and without even realizing it you are dragging your kids into the whole mess. The most common way people get their kids involved is by trying to force them to pick sides.

During a divorce both parents want their kids to side with them, both because they want to know their kids love them, and so they can cause pain to their spouse. As tempting as it might be just remember that it harms your children, and you do not want that. It is best to maintain as stable an environment as you can. While it will be difficult working with your spouse, it is for the good of your kids.

2: Making demands. Another topic a divorce blog might hit upon is dealing with demands during a divorce. People will use a divorce as a chance to exact revenge and this just causes more problem. Even if you feel you were mistreated, it is best to make fair deals for both parties so that you can come to an agreement faster and get the divorce over with. Dragging it out does not do anybody any good.

3: Communicating with your spouse. Communication is a very important aspect of a divorce, just not between you and your   soon to be ex. Try to avoid direct contact as much as possible. Always talk through your lawyer or with your lawyer present so that you do not agree to something that might come back to bite you in the butt.

4: Maintain good records. Keeping a good record of various things can really benefit you during a divorce. Keeping tabs on your finances can ensure your spouse does not try to swindle you. As well, keeping tabs on shared bank accounts so that your spouse can not take all the money and hide it.

5. Making decisions with your lawyer.
One of the most important aspects that you will find in a divorce blog is to work with your lawyer. They are there to fight for you and your assets during a divorce. So before you take any action you should always consult with your attorney to make sure you are doing the right thing.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

A Divorce And A Confidant

A divorce can be a very problematic and taxing affair, whether it is done on good terms or bad. There are so many things you need to take into consideration when getting divorced, from legal matters to emotional ones. So a divorce and a confidant go hand in hand. Having someone you can talk to in order to help you work through your divorce can be invaluable.

We all need a shoulder to lean on once in a while, especially during traumatic events such as a divorce. So having family or friends you can confide in to help you work through it can go a long way in making the whole affair easier to deal with.

It also is not very difficult to find a confidant. Most often we use those close to us such as a family member or a close friend. But it does not necessarily have to be one of those. A lot of people treat their lawyers like confidants, since that is part of the reason the lawyer is there to begin with.

By talking with your lawyer and spelling out your worries and fears they can help you. This of course depends on the lawyer since not all lawyers are willing to get that in depth with their client. However if you have a lawyer who is willing to talk with you, that can be a great help.

Given all the hurdles you have to jump over during a divorce, there are a lot of things you might want to talk about that would be better suited for your lawyer. During a divorce people will often seek out opinions on what they should do and what they should agree on. Asking your lawyer both in a professional and legal sense, but also in a personal sense can help you make a well rounded decision.

A divorce and a confidant just make sense. But while a confidant can be a great support to help you through the divorce, there are some things they simply can not help with. While getting opinions on what you should do is always a good thing, ultimately it comes down to what you want and how you feel.

It is best to try and end a divorce as quickly and peacefully as possible. Dragging it out is not only expensive but also emotionally draining. A lot of people also try to use it as some sort of revenge which is a very big mistake. Make sure you are not trying to get them back by taking all their money or possessions. Just try to come to a fair and equal agreement and be done with the whole ordeal.

The faster you get through it all, the less you will need to rely on a a divorce and a confidant. While you probably have people willing to lend you and ear and a shoulder, they will not want to do so forever so the faster you can get through your divorce the better it is for everyone since it also allows you to get on with your life that much sooner.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A Divorce By Phone Review

Divorces are never a fun thing and are always riddled with grief and hassle. They cost a lot both in terms of time and money and generally are just unpleasant experiences. Even if you are parting on good terms there will still be some pain involved. So you will want to minimize the amount of grief that is caused by the whole experience.

A divorce by phone review can help you look over everything and get you set up for the long road ahead. There are a lot of aspects in a divorce that you have to keep track of. This can be very stressful and painful as some things you may not want to face and you might feel overwhelmed by everything.

There are things you can do in order to prepare yourself for your divorce and to help you handle it. The biggest problem you will face will very likely be emotional as a divorce can be very draining. So finding ways to diminish these effects are best.

Finding ways to make demands during the divorce is something you can work on to decrease the stress and grief involved. In a lot of a divorces one partner might feel hurt and betrayed and might try to use the divorce as a means of getting back at their spouse by taking everything.

If you can it is best to avoid doing this. It will drag out your divorce which will only make it that much more painful but also that much more costly. And even if you win there could be problems down the road. So it is best to try and settle things fair and square so that you can move on easier. A divorce by phone review can help you figure out how best to go about this.

Another thing you might want to take into consideration is dealing with your spouse. During a divorce it is best to avoid as much contact as possible. Always make sure your lawyers are present when you talk or simply talk through your lawyers exclusively.

If you talk to one another without lawyers present, it can harm you in your divorce. You might agree to something you might rather not have agreed to, or said something you should not have said. Lawyers are there to protect you even if they have to protect you from yourself.

Also try to keep detailed records of your finances. A dirty trick that is often used during divorces is taking money and hiding it. By hiding the money they make sure you do not get what you should. By keeping close records on your money you can prevent them from doing this.

You should also think about closing any joint accounts to prevent them from taking all the money. If they take all the money from your accounts you can be left high and dry, which is never a good thing.

A divorce by phone review can help you with all of these aspects and help you get through your divorce. Getting through this ordeal and on with your life is the most important part of any divorce.

A Divorce- Christians Also Go Through It

Divorce is something that thousands of people face every day. This also includes christians. The debate in the christian community over divorce is strong and diverse. Many believe divorce is unacceptable as stated by the lord. However many others believe it is acceptable under certain circumstances.

In a divorce christian faith can be tested and it can be hard to know what to belief with so many conflicting statements. However christianity is all about faith, and more contemporary christians acknowledge that reality does not quite go according to God's plan.

It is our duty as god's people to try our best to live our lives as god would want, but to also live our lives as we would want. As much as the bible may look down on divorces, it is also a necessary evil.

Humans have free will and part of having free will is making mistakes and adapting over time. If god did not want us to evolve he would not have given us the ability to do so. Because of this gift, we often change over time. The person you may have married might not be the same person today.

Whether you simply grew apart or because a betrayal was committed in your marriage, a divorce might often prove to be the best option. A divorce christian will suffer a harder time during a divorce then others. Not only must they contend with all the problems of a divorce, but also the test on their faith as they know they are going against god's plan.

However we must remind ourselves that god is all knowing, and forgiving of our sins. While he may not like divorces, we know that he will understand. As much as god may be against divorces, he would be more against you staying in an abusive relationship or staying with somebody you do not love.

Some christians like to follow the bible to the letter, and use it as a shield and sword in the fight over whether or not a divorce is acceptable. But one thing we must remember is that the bible was written centuries ago and time changes. What may have been right then may not be right now.

As we progress and learn more about ourselves and the universe god put us in, we also become more open to new ideas and realizations. And one such realization is that god does not want us to suffer needlessly, and as such would not want us to remain in a relationship we do not want.

Ultimately it comes down to you and what your take on the christian faith is. This particular christian believes god to be understanding of our plights and forgiving of our transgressions as long as they are not made recklessly and often.

If you believe a divorce christian is acceptable, and do not wish to remain in your relationship then you should get out. However if you believe god wants you to remain then by all means, stay and fix your relationship. It all comes down to personal faith.

Friday, October 21, 2011

A Divorce Article That Will Give You The Best Tips

A divorce, regardless of whether or not it is on good terms or bad, can be a costly and traumatic experience. Neither side are likely to come to an easy agreement and it can be dragged out, cause grief for everyone involved. However if you can come to agreements and end it quickly, you can save everyone a lot of grief.

There are a lot of a divorce article out there that can give you advice and help you get through your divorce. They can come in a wide range of topics to help you with virtually any problem you might have. This one will list five things you can do to avoid grief in a divorce.

1. Avoid involving children. If you have kids you probably love them dearly and want what is best for them. However divorces often bring out our ugly side and parents find themselves dragging their kids into the divorce. The most common way kids are involved is by trying to get them to pick sides. Both parents trying to turn the kids against the other parent. This is the worst thing you can do for your children and you must not do it under any circumstance.

Kids are impressionable and by dragging them through this can cause a very traumatic scar that will be with them for the rest of their lives. As bitter as you are with your spouse, it is best to try to maintain a stable atmosphere for your kids. At the very least you should be able to set aside problems with your spouse for your kid's sake.

2. Making demands. Another thing a divorce article might cover is how you lay down demands for your spouse. People will use divorces as an excuse to exact revenge for whatever mis-deeds they feel their spouse has committed. You should avoid doing this, even if your divorce is bitter and your marriage not the best, it is advisable that you make fair agreements and allow both parties to have a fair amount.

3. Communicating with your spouse. Communication is important, just not between you and your spouse. Avoiding contact is best during a divorce, only talking through your lawyers, or when your lawyers are present. This is mostly for legal reasons since if you agree to something your spouse says, they can use that in court and screw you over. So it is best to only talk with a lawyer present.

4. Keep good records. Maintaining good records is important in a divorce, and any legal affair for that matter. You should keep a record of finances to protect yourself as well as dealing with any shared accounts so your spouse can not just take all of the money, leaving you with nothing.

5. Decide things with your lawyer. The last and most important thing a divorce article can tell you is to talk with your lawyer and come to decisions with them. Your lawyer is there to protect you and your assets during a divorce so make sure to always consult with your lawyer before taking action.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Troubled Relationship- Get It Back On Track

If you are trying to get a troubled relationship back on track you need to cut out all the BS, learn to communicate and be more than willing to compromise for the benefit of the relationship. Do not let anything get in the way of fixing the relationship.

Do not take anything for granted. If things are bad enough then the two of you need to find a qualified therapist to go talk to. Do not give yourselves any outs. No more excuses. If you are going to fix this troubled relationship then you both need to go all out and devote yourselves to each other and the fix.

You will probably expend more energy on your relationship than you ever have before. You will finally see that to make a relationship work you need to expend some energy, you just can't let your relationship float on the wind, it will just get carried away by that wind.

You must take an active role in repairing your relationship. No more passivity. You already know that that does not work, right? So, do the exact opposite of what you were doing. If more people would do this then there would be a lot less failed marriages.

Make counseling a condition that cannot be broken. If you both agree that the relationship is fixable then counseling has to be mandatory. No excuses, no discussion. and no blowing it off to go have a beer with the guys. Have the beer later.

To find a good counselor you could ask someone you know who went through the same thing if they had a good one, If they did have a good experience then get the guys number and give him a call to set up an appointment. If you do not know anyone then look iin the yellow pages to find a counselor in your area.

You might even be able to find some type of support group that specializes in helping put relationships back together. Or maybe your counselor has some suggestions for you in that respect. A counselor that is worth his salt will undoubtedly give you exercises to do while you are out of the office to get the two of you communicating effectively and spending quality time together.

If you want to, it may be a good idea to research the counselor you choose before actually making the appointment. Be sure they are licensed and have experience in the type of counseling you need. Ask for references if you feel the need to. You need an expert to help you through this, do not settle for mediocre. Fixing your relationship is too important.

If the two of you have maturity on your side then the better the chances are of you rebuilding the troubled relationship. The stronger the relationship gets, the stronger the trust and mutual respect will get as well. Eventually the counselor will cut you loose to try things on your own. If, at any time, there is a break down in communication and things start to get out of hand again then immediately get yourselves back to the counselor.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Love Relationship-Soul Mate Or Not

A true love relationship is rare. Finding your soul mate is a wonderful thing to experience. Most of us do not find "the one" to spend the rest of our lives with. So we make do with someone who is close enough.

If you are lucky enough to find your very special someone then make sure you know how to hang on to them. With so many marriages ending in failure if you do not hold on with both hands you may just be giving up the best thing that has ever, or will ever, happen to you.

One of the best things the two of you can do is talk to each other. Face to face, on the phone, even texting and emailing these days are acceptable forms of communication. When you take the time to talk make sure that you will have very few distractions. Talking on the phone during the evening hours is a great time because you are more relaxed and typically distractions are minimal. Talk about anything that comes to mind. Tell stories and just get to know each other.

Obviously, if you have just met you will want to go out on dates together. Pay attention to the types of things that they like to eat. You can gain a wealth of knowledge about someone by what they order in a restaurant. Make mental notes of special things and learn how to cook them.

Take things slowly. There really is no rush when starting a love relationship. If you know that this person is the one for you then trust that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Even soul mates can rush into things and screw them up. Take your time and really get to know each other. The rest of your lives is a long time.

If you really want to make a connection, touch each other. Touching helps create a strong bond between you and shows that you care. Don't touch too soon though, that can be creepy. You do not want to scare anyone away so make sure that when you start touching it will be accepted as the beginnings of the trust you will share between you. If another person allows you to touch them then that means they trust you.

Trust is key in any relationship. Being intimate does not just mean having sex. Intimacy starts with touching. Holding hands, walking arm in arm, touching their shoulder as you pass by, all of this and much more is also considered being intimate with your partner. Touch is a wonderful way to communicate your feelings for the other person.

As the relationship deepens ask to see photo albums of when they were younger. Find a comfortable spot, maybe in front of the fireplace, pour each of you a glass of wine and just relax and have fun. If you both bring a photo album then you can see into each other's past together creating an even deeper bond to your love relationship. Then, make plans to meet the parents.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Healthy Relationship-Cant Wait To Get Home

How do you tell if you are in a healthy relationship? One good way to know you are is if you always feel good about going home. If you can't wait to get home after a long days work just to see his or her smiling face then your relationship is probably a healthy one.

Two people in a healthy relationship experience less stress and are more capable of handling a stressful situation when one comes along. Know why? Because they have help, that's why. They have someone who supports them in every way. They zig, the other zags. It is just that simple.

The kinds of things that make a good relationship are effective communication, trust, mutual respect, being flexible when it counts and keeping everything real. If you have these things in your relationship then you probably treat each other as equals and do not experience too many problems.

By keeping everything real I mean that you should not expect your spouse to do anything you would not do. Being in a relationship is a two way street so do not expect more from your spouse than you are willing to put forth yourself.

I also cannot stress how important communication is in any relationship. This is the basis for keeping things healthy. If you talk about your feelings then there can be no surprises and no one will ever get blindsided. If something comes up that may be a little difficult to talk about find the courage to talk about it. Otherwise it will just fester and soon the good relationship won't be so good anymore.

Part of good communication skills is the ability to listen. Have the courtesy to remain silent when your spouse is talking, do not interrupt and do not try to fix it right away. If a fix is needed then figure it out together. Remain partners at all times.

Disagreements happen. No one is perfect. Handling them with dignity and grace is important. Do not attack your spouse but do not be a doormat either. If you have done something wrong apologize and then work together to learn how to get past it. Having the ability to forgive and forget also is key to keeping a relationship healthy. Do not, under any circumstances throw things back in each other's faces. If you gave forgiveness once then let it go and move on.

Show love and genuine concern for your spouse. Be there for each other to lean on. I have found that a healthy relationship does not mean that each of you is strong at all times. When one of you isn't then the other one must be and vise versa. This is what committing yourself to another person is all about.

Obviously being faithful is also part of having a good relationship. If you have committed yourself to someone have enough respect for yourself and them to remain faithful and do not go pandering about with someone else. This is the worst thing you could do in any relationship and one of the biggest reasons why relationships fail.
These things are all what a healthy relationship is all about.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Communication Relationship-The Most Important Factor

Communication relationship is one of the most important factors to having that relationship being successful. Effective communication skills are not something everyone is born with, however, but they can be learned. If you are struggling with effective communication in your relationship read on to learn some new techniques.

Learning effective, healthy communication techniques will help your relationship become healthy and happy and when that happens you are far more likely to remain in the relationship instead of your marriage becoming just another statistic of divorce.

Communication does not just mean talking. A very important part of communication is the ability to listen. Sometimes that is all that is needed, just to listen. Your spouse may just need a sounding board to be able to figure something out. If they need you to help fix something then after you listen carefully the two of you can try to come to some solution to whatever the problem is.

Communication is very complex and includes verbal and non-verbal aspects. Effective communication relationship techniques involved all of them and knowing how to interpret them accurately. Take for instance, if someone is angry, they may glare at you and sit quietly with their arms crossed. This situation is something that needs your immediate attention.

If she is left to fester then she will begin to think that you do not care about how she feels and this will only make matters worse. Reading body language is a skill that you really should perfect. It can tell you so much about how a person is feeling or even if they are lying.

If you are a perceptive person then you can pick up a lot of effective communication techniques just by paying attention to what is going on around you. If you need some help then you can attend a communication class at your local community college. This will cost a little bit of money but may be worth it's weight in gold if it helps save your relationship.

Good communication also means paying attention to the little things and letting each other know they are appreciated. Saying thank you to your spouse should never be taken for granted. Showing your appreciation for something is just common courtesy. Never give up saying the "I love you's" or "thank you's". They may just be the most important part of your relationship. Everybody needs to feel appreciated.

Understanding is also another aspect of communication that can remain underdeveloped. What I mean by underdeveloped is that not enough questions get asked in any given situation. We assume we know what they other is talking about without clarifying. Assumptions only get you into trouble. So make sure you know exactly what is going on. If you don't completely understand then ask questions until everything is clear.

My advice, practice, practice, practice. Learn the techniques of an effective communication relationship and then practice them daily. Soon they will be second nature and you won't even have to think about them any more.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Relationship Counseling-Four Steps To Know

Let's talk a little bit today about how to proceed if you feel you and your partner need relationship counseling. There are four things you need to keep in mind during this difficult time.

The first one is choosing the right marriage counselor. If you feel comfortable,and your spouse agrees, ask friends or family whether they have had a good experience with a marriage counselor to help them get through their difficulties. This can be the first step in finding a referral that might be useful to you. If there is no one to ask then do a search on the internet for counselors in your area.

Secondly, if you do find such a person whether it's through a personal referral, off of the internet or through an ad, you must to check the counselor's credentials, see whether or not that person is licensed and if they have the experience working with couples. Ask what their success rate is with relationship counselin and how long they have been a counselor.

The third thing you want to do is talk to this person by phone. Basically, you are interviewing them for the job of helping you save your marriage. write down a list of  questions so you are prepared and talk to them for ten to fifteen minutes to get a good feel for who they are and how they can help you and your spouse. This is the beginning of your professional relationship and a great way to find out if you will have a rapport with them.

If you hit it off over the phone then the fourth step is to make an appointment to go to your first session. The first session with this counselor will give you the information you need to either continue seeing him or her or to find someone else. First impressions are important. If the phone interview goes well then it is promising that the in person first meeting will goes just as well.

Keep in mind that you both have to be comfortable with the counselor you choose. If one of you isn't then the counseling will not work and may even cause more fighting and stress in your relationship.

If you have gotten him to agree that your relationship needs work that is one big step. Getting him to do something about it is another story, however. Many people, men in particular, do not want their dirty laundry aired all over the neighborhood. They just do not want their ego taking a hit, I guess. They may think that someone will think less of them if they have to have counseling even though we all know that is just a bunch of BS.

I do not advocate playing games or trying to manipulate one another but if the male half of your relationship balks at all about getting relationship counselin then, if it is not a problem for you, find an attractive female counselor. He might find it within himself to get to every session and open up a little more freely than he would if you were seeing a male counselor. Just sayin'.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Bad Relationship- Noone Deserves To Be Unhappy

If you are in a bad relationship the best thing you could do for yourself is get out of it as soon as you can. No one deserves to be unhappy. I know you feel like you are all alone in the world but the first thing you need to understand is that you are not alone and there are people and resources you can tap into that can help you.

Use these resources to help you make a plan to get away. Ask family to help you store some things or give you a safe place to stay until you can get on your feet again. If you think you have enough time, try to save some money so you have a little to start you out. If you can't do this and have no family to help there are shelters that are available for you to take advantage of.

Leaving a bad relationship is scary but it will be the best thing you have ever done and will give you the confidence to get on with your life, especially if you have children to watch out for. Be strong and find the courage to walk out the door and do not look back.

When you are packing, take only what you need and nothing more. You are going to want to get out clean. You will probably only have a small window of opportunity to get away and the lighter the load the faster you can move.

If there has been abuse in your relationship you may need to have some back up when you leave. Ask the police to help you, they may or may not depending on whether or not there have been reports of abuse filed by you over the course of your relationship. If the police won't help, ask family or friends to help you get out quickly.

Once you make the decision to go you do need to move quickly. For one, you do not want to change your mind. Changing your mind only means more abuse and like I said no one deserves to live like that.

Do not let them know where you are going. If they have been controlling and abusive they will try to find you and if they do, they will try to hurt you again, at the worst and at the most they will try to manipulate you to coming back. They will attempt to make promises they have no intention of keeping and when they get you back the next time the abuse happens it will be so much worse than ever before. For your own safety, do not leave any evidence of where you went. And for goodness sake, if they find you do not go back with them.

Once you are away from them for a while and things have calmed down. Find a counselor to talk to. You need to start to feel better about yourself as soon as you can. What happened to you in that bad relationship was not your fault. People change and not always for the better. Let the counselor work with you so you can get on with your life.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Relationship Advice Online-Narrow It Down For Your Relationship

There is so much relationship advice online it would take someone years to get through it all. Although with a little research you should be able to narrow it all down to find just exactly what you need help with.

For instance, are you looking to find someone to date and spend time with? If you are you could always try a dating site or two. Just make sure they are reputable sites. Maybe try some of the ones that you have heard of already.

If you are honest about the information you put in your profile on these sites they should be able to match you up with someone who has the same interests as you do so you will at least have some things to talk about when you set up a first date. In any relationship it is important to start of on the right foot.

When looking for relationship advice online, one major thing you will find is advice about being confident and secure in who you are before you try to have a relationship. If you come into a relationship with a lot of baggage and have many insecurities your relationship will suffer. Maybe not right at the beginning but those insecurities will rear their ugly heads at some point and start to eat away at the relationship.

So, what does this mean? This means you should do what you need to do to get rid of the insecurities you have. This may mean talking to someone who can help, like a counselor. No one ever has the perfect parents and truthfully, our parents can mess us up pretty badly sometimes. So much so that any type of personal relationships we try to have in our adult lives just do not, or cannot, work out for the best.

You also cannot look to someone else to 'make' you happy. Happiness comes from within and if you do not start a relationship happy then after the initial 'honeymoon period' is over and the relationship settles into some type of a routine that unhappiness will be very apparent and you will do all you can to sabotage your new relationship because somewhere down deep inside you really feel like you do not deserve anything good in your life.

You may not even know you are doing it but the evidence that you are, in part, will be like taking the little things that should really not ever get in the way in your relationship and making them huge fights that put you at odds with your mate.

If you put some energy into bettering yourself before you enter into your next relationship then, believe it or not, you will find that the self-confidence you exude will not only attract more members of the opposite sex, it will attract those who are also confident in themselves.

So find a good counselor and research some relationship advice online to become secure in who you are and where you are going in this life before trying to have a relationship with someone else. Be careful here to because there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Do not cross that line, it is very easy to do and arrogance is not attractive at all.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Relationship Problem Advice-Identify The Stress

If you need some relationship problem advice, let's take a look at what the causes of your relationship distress may be. Problems in a relationship may start out as minor but if they do not get dealt with in a timely manner then someone's feelings get hurt and they can balloon into a three headed monster and end up being the death of the relationship.

This does not have to be the case. In my opinion the three biggest relationship problems are:  Lack of communication, money, and not spending enough quality time together (if there are no children involved), or differences in how each of you thinks the children should be raised (if there are).

You have got to have a plan of action. Life and marriage just does not happen. You have to put some effort into it daily to keep it running smoothly. If the relationship is threatened in any way you need to nip it in the bud and talk it out with your partner or if that is not possible then go see someone who specializes in relationship counseling.

Prevention is the best way to handle problems. More relationship problem advice to you is if the lines of communication stay open at all times then you can catch the little problems as they arise and deal with them until they get resolved. Sometimes though, things can get a little out of hand and then those are the times when we all need a second opinion, so to speak. Do not hesitate to talk to a neutral third party to help resolve even the smallest of issues if you can't come to a resolution on your own.

If the biggest problem in your relationship is money and all that that entails, then clear lines have to be drawn and each one of you needs to know how the other one feels about saving, spending, budgeting, short and long-term goals, investing. The bills should be paid together on a weekly basis when all the money is in the bank.

Decide on what day of the week to do it and then sit down at the same time each week in the same place each week and pay the bills together. If you make and keep this appointment with each other every week then there can be no misunderstandings. Each of you take what you need for the week right off the top and use the rest to pay the bills on time and in full.

Parenting issues take a lot of communication, too. Ways to raise the children you are planning should be addressed even before the first pregnancy. If there are already children when the two of you get together then there need to be even clearer rules that apply to the children and "step" parent. The "step" parent needs to know just how much authority they have when it comes to disciplining the children, especially in your absence.

I guess what I am saying is that if there is good communication all around then there will be very little problems to worry about. So, learn some skills like active listening so you can carry on a conversation and actually hear what your spouse is saying to you at any given time. Address the problems as they arise so you can avoid the three headed monster and having to get relationship problem advice.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Advice Relationships-Use It Or Lose It

The best piece of advice relationships counselors will give you is to learn to communicate effectively with each other. If you master the art of communication then everything else will follow. You will wonder at just how easy everything else becomes when you give each other carte blanche to say what ever needs to be said.

Just as long as the communication between you stays respectful. Say what needs to be said but do not be mean, nasty, or cruel. That's not communication, that's abuse. If something happens in your relationship that makes you mad then tell your spouse that you are mad but that instead of going off half-cocked, you want to take some time to organize your thoughts and figure out the best way to approach things.

Then, when given enough time, you can calm down and look at things rationally and come back to the discussion with a fresh set of eyes. Anger is blinding and when you are angry nothing can be accomplished to the positive. If the anger stems from something that was hurtful, it is human nature, I think, to want to hurt right back. If this should happen then take my advice relationships can't survive if one of you is always pitted against the other one.

Sometimes fighting can be a good productive thing to do. But, if it is a constant thing in your relationship then it will wear down the love and the relationship will not survive. Pick and choose which hills you want to die on and which ones you don't. If the fight is about how one betrayed the other then this needs to happen. If it is a fight about the toilet seat being left up, then, not so much.

Most of the time, the mistakes we make are just that, mistakes. Not intentional hurts but still they hurt anyway. If you are the one who has done the hurting, then apologize as soon as you can and as sincerely as you can. a sincere apology will go a long way to fixing a lot of things. Ask what you can do to make it better.

Keep the romance alive. Do things together and do things apart. Quality time can be described both ways. Spending time together is fine but, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Spending all of your time together is just not healthy. So, spend some quality time apart too. This way you will always have something to talk about and new stories to tell.

If you find that life is getting in the way of the two of you finding time to spend together then it would be a good thing to do to set aside some time every week and plan to spend that time together. Go have dinner, see a movie, just take a walk down by the river. It doesn't matter what it is just as long as you are doing it together. If nothing else then to just remember each other's names.

With this advice relationships may have a better chance of survival and neither of you will ever go to bed angry.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Break Up Relationship-Takes Time And Patience

How do you get over the pain of a break up relationship? One day at a time, that's how. Sometimes, just one minute at a time. With time and a smattering of patience thrown in, you can pretty much make it through anything.

Keep a level head on your shoulders and accept the break up relationship with dignity. Do not do or say anything that could potentially come back to bite you in the rear end. Just accept the reality of the situation, cut your losses and learn to move on.

When the dust settles after the initial break up. You need to allow time for the grieving. You bet, I said grieving. The grieving process can be a lot like it is when someone you love dies. There are certain steps you must take to come out the other side. So let yourself feel the sadness, or the anger and resentment, for as long as it takes to get through it.

If the hurt is too much to handle then find someone to talk to or go online and join a forum or a chat room about lost loves and get some advice there. In this digital world today this is where most of the "therapy" happens and you can find forums or chat rooms or blogs on any subject under the sun.

If the relationship you were in was the type that made you put some of your friendships on the back burner then go ahead and reconnect with those that you set aside. They will be glad to hear from you. Some of them may have their nose out of joint because they will feel slighted but if you apologize then all should be well and you can back to being friends again.

The same thing applies to your family. Plan a family dinner and cook all your favorite dishes. Make this a real "feel good" type reunion, so to speak. Family is family and they are there for you no matter what.

One more thing to remember, do not attempt to start seeing someone new unless and until you are completely ready to. This sort of behavior can only result in more hurt. For you and the new guy, too. Rebound relationships rarely ever work. Just take your time and learn to be yourself for a while.

Change up your routine. Find something new to do with your free time. Take some day trips to places you have always wanted to go. There is bound to be somewhere real close by that you have never been to before.

Here's what you do, get an atlas or just a map of your area and check out what types of things there are within a 100 mile radius of you house. Make a list and then just start at the top and go on down the list. Pretty soon the break up relationship will be a distant memory.

Relationship Advice For Women- Shop Around

If you need relationship advice for women you can find some of what you are looking for right here. Finding the right guy for you can be tough. Your best bet is to make a list of the attributes that you find appealing in a man and then, depending on how long the list is, take the top five attributes and concentrate on finding those in one man.

Steer clear of including physical characteristics in your first five attributes. Looks fade and it is shallow to date a man solely on his looks. Go for things like dependability and a good sense of humor.

Shop around, date several men before making any decisions. Every one is different and, who knows, you might find one that has a characteristic that you did not know you were looking for.

Maybe you will date someone who is loyal and dedicated to taking care of his mother. If he doesn't live with her then this could be an admirable trait in a man or it could mean that she is a manipulative you-know-what and just feels the need to control her son. Does she call up and make him feel guilty if he hasn't visited in a while? Look out, she may also feel like no one is good enough for her son and will try to drive a wedge between you.

More relationship advice for women includes making a list of the things you like to do and are willing to share with the right person. These are questions you need to ask on your first few dates to get an accurate picture of what type of person he is. Does he think the things that interest you are stupid or does he think that learning new things will be a good challenge for him.

If he is willing to put his needs behind yours at times then maybe he is someone worth considering for a long-term relationship. Also, does he have the capacity to compromise if a conflict comes up. Ask him, flat out, how he would handle a problem in a relationship. You both need to know this stuff and the sooner the cards are all out on the table the sooner you can get on with things.

What about religious views? If you have strong ties to a certain church he needs to know that. He may have his own and you will both have to figure out what to do about this. Strong religious views have ruined more than one relationship, I am sure.

Have a good handle on what your goals are in life. If he has some of the same goals then you are off to a good start. If some compromises need to be made then talk about it and make them. None of this has to be done in the first ten minutes though, have some fun and enjoy each other's company. Some of this stuff will work itself out and you can figure some out just by talking with each other. Do not be pushy, it will all work out like it is supposed to.

The best relationship advice for women is to find a man that will support you in every way throughout the rest of your life, then marry him.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Free Relationship Advice-Just Do A Little Research

When your relationship is on trouble, where do you turn? Well, you could go out and get a counselor or spend your money on books and ecourses to help you fix what is broken in your relationship or you can do a little research on the internet for free relationship advice.

Free relationship advice is out there, all you have to do is find it. Your best bet is to sign up to receive email newsletters. These come directly to your email either daily or weekly and can be invaluable when you are trying to figure things out about your relationship.

The information comes in the form of little tidbits and maybe even suggestions you can put into practice in your own relationship to try to make things better. Other free resources include articles, videos, talking to your pastor or someone who has been through what you are going through.

These resources will help you find solutions to your problems if your relationship just needs to be fine-tuned. If there is a bigger problem like infidelity then you may want to consider professional counseling. A counselor will help you figure out whether or not your relationship is worth saving or not. This can become quite the costly option though.

The free stuff is available to you and you can use it even if your partner is not willing to do it with you. Learn all you can and put it into practice. If it works for your current relationship then so much the better. If not then you can apply what you have learned to the next relationship.

With the right tools you can do just about anything from fixing a relationship to fixing a car. Having the right information will take you a long way and make you strong and happy in your life.

Take what you learn with a grain of salt at first, try different things to figure out what will work for you in your current situation. Not everything that is free will fit, or fix, your problems.

Check out the chat rooms and blogs as a part of your research. Some of these can offer great insights to relationship problems and difficulties and sometimes you can even post questions of your own and have others respond and give their opinion as to what can be done to make things better.

Like I said before, just make sure you take the information you get and ferret out only what you need. There is absolutely no sense asking for more trouble than what you already have. If communication is the biggest problem then learn some good communication skills to use. Learn to read your partner's body language. This can tell you a lot about what they are feeling and how they are acting.

Free relationship advice can be given by anyone. If you trust the source of the information then use it. All you have to do is find what works and then put it into practice. You can save your relationship if it is worth saving. Make a list of what you think the problems are in your relationship and then determine if you want to take the time to find a solution for each of them.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Relationship Help At The Touch Of Your Fingertips

Personal relationships are an important part of life. Everyone needs someone to love. Love makes you feel special, not to mention all warm and fuzzy inside. But, when the warm fuzzies start to fizzle out where do you turn for relationship help?

I suppose the first, most obvious answer is, right here where you are, the Internet. You can find a wealth of information on relationship help right at your finger tips. It really is very simple, just type in what you want information on into your web browser bar and click 'enter'.

You will immediately be brought to a results page where all you have to do is pick the article, just like this one, that you want to read or find the website for the product that you want to buy. Just choose the one that seems to be perfect for your situation and then just read it.

There are websites solely dedicated to the preservation of relationships. You can find what you need at these websites and even sign up to receive their newsletters by email daily or weekly or however often they offer them. Just the newsletters alone may give you the information you want. All you have to do is create a folder specifically for them right in your email. Then when you get one just put it in that folder and they are right there whenever you want or need them.

Keeping a relationship healthy is easy. If the two of your are compatible, and even if you are not, a relationship should just be easy. Having someone to come home to and share your innermost thoughts and dreams with is a big deal. Sure, there will be a rough patch or two but if the two of you are the adults you think you are then you should have no problems dealing with the problems effectively and coming through stronger on the other side.

If the Internet doesn't do it for you and you feel the need to talk to someone, go for it. What ever you do, though, be prepared to shell out some dough. Buying an ebook or ecourse on the subject or going to a counselor will both cost some money. Either way is a smart move to keep you and your relationship healthy.

Another place you can look is your local library. Check out a book or two on the subject and take them home to read them. Follow the steps they say to take and you should be on your way to a healthy relationship when you are done reading them.

Each of these suggestions will get you to where you want your relationship to be just keep in mind that there will be homework and things to try. Maybe even games to play with your significant other to get you on the right track. Who knows, just have fun with it all. Life is too serious sometimes, do not let your relationship drag you down, too.

Relationship help is easy to find no matter where you look. It seems that it is pretty big business even though the divorce rate is still one in two marriages. Go figure. Do not become a statistic. Fix yours and be happy.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Long Distance Relationship Take Alot Of Work

I have never been in a long distance relationship but I think if you are considering one then there have to be clear boundaries and conditions that each of you follow to be able to keep the relationship strong and healthy. If the two of you are secure in who you are to begin with then the relationship between you will be too.

A long distance relationship takes work. Probably more work than a regular distance relationship. Depending on how far the two of you are living apart, seeing each other on somewhat of a regular basis may be quite the challenge.

If the distance is only hundreds of miles then swapping weekends should not be a problem but if the distance is thousands of miles then seeing each other will take planning and saving up for tickets and such.

There are ways to make this type of relationship work and keep it strong and thriving.

For instance, make sure you both are on the same page. Is this relationship one that will be exclusive? If so, make sure that each of you agrees to this.

Set up times when one will call the other. Make it the same every day and stick to it. Nothing will harbor suspicion more than not calling at the pre-determined time. If an emergency comes up then jot off a quick text to your love and promise to call as soon as the crisis is over then apologize and explain what happened in detail.

The more you stay in touch the stronger the relationship will be in the long run. With so many ways to stay in touch these days i.e., email, text, cell phones, video chat, not to mention the old standby, snail mail. Sending flowers on a weekly basis may not be a bad idea either. Anything to make the other feel like they are always in your thoughts is a good idea.

Keeping in contact on a daily basis will make time go by quicker until you can be together again. Cards and letters will make each other smile and keep the love alive. Care packages and little surprises that come in the mail will keep the relationship moving forward as well. If you are out shopping and you see something that reminds you of him, pick it up and send it to him.

Make plans to get together as often as is feasible. If it is doable, pick a spot that is halfway between the two of you and one weekend a month drive to that destination and stay in a hotel. Do not deviate from the plan and do not cancel at the last minute unless it is an emergency. Trust has to go farther in this type of relationship and insecurities can give life to a very active imagination.

Every move you make has to be completely on the up and up. If suspicion enters the picture at any time the long distance relationship will suffer and probably come to an end. Everything you do has to be above reproach.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Ending A Relationship With Style

If the time has come to start thinking about ending a relationship there are some things you need to know to do it in style. Even if the trust and respect between the two of you has been long gone, you need to summon it back up and deal with the break up with some class. You will feel better about yourself for doing this much.

Ask them to meet you in a public place for coffee or whatever and when the time comes to end the relationship just say it and get it out on the table. There may be some discussion as to why you want to break up but if the relationship has been on the skids for some time it may not come as a surprise to your soon to be ex.

Never think that ending a relationship by email, text, or over the phone is a good idea. It isn't. The only time this is acceptable is if you think there will be violence then, by all means, do what you have to do to stay safe.

If you know for certain that your soon to be ex will not get violent then have enough respect for yourself to break up with them in person. You will know that you handled the break up with dignity and when they calm down they will respect you for it also.

There really is no way to let someone down easy. The best thing you can do is get it all out on the table so it can be dealt with. Do not prolong the issue. Say what needs to be said, excuse yourself then leave. This is best for both of you. There is no need to stick around and get caught up in a fight.

Do not place the blame on them even if it belongs there. Tell them that you just do not think that the relationship is working out and that you would like to move on. Break ups are hard for all concerned. You may breathe a sigh of relief when it is all over but you will also have some grieving to do even if you are the one initiating the break up. Especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for some time.

Tell them that after the break up you will adopt a no contact policy and if they try to contact you do not pick up the phone or answer any emails or texts. If they continue to try to get in touch with you you may have to consider changing your number. Remove them from all of your contact lists and continue to live your life.

Ending a relationship that is no longer working is really the best thing you can do. You owe it to yourself to be happy. It is time to stop making excuses and start living your life the way you were meant to. When your ex sees the difference then they will see that breaking up was the best thing that could have happened for the both of you.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Love Relationships Seven Principals To Achieve


Besides the obvious, compatibility, love relationships need trust, mutual respect, honesty, and effective communication to thrive and be of a benefit to both parties.
You could throw in having the ability to compromise when issues arise and actually being friends with each other as other aspects that are needed in a good relationship, too.

Having a relationship based on these seven principles is what we all dream of achieving at least one time in our lives. I believe they call this finding the "one". That perfect person that each of us dreams about finding to spend the rest of our lives with.

Some of us are lucky enough to find that special someone so we can be content for the rest of our lives. Too many of us settle for someone we can't possibly be happy with just to have someone around. I personally do not think that that is living. If you end up marrying someone that constantly brings you down or holds you back, is it really a good relationship. No, it isn't.

We all need people around us who will build us up and encourage us when the chips are down. Having someone add to those chips is no good and maybe you should rethink your relationship and move on.

Maintaining good love relationships takes some time and attention but are relationships really as hard as some make them out to be? I don't think so. Maybe I am just one of the lucky ones, but in my opinion if a relationship takes work and is hard to manage, maybe you should get out of it and find one that isn't.

Relationships should be fun and passionate and full of love. You should complement each other well. Where one is weak the other is strong. A good relationship is a good partnership. Partners share everything with each other. Partners have consideration for one another and take care of each other.

I think too many people enter into a relationship and immediately start pitting themselves against each other like it is some kind of competition or something. They have a "what's in it for me" type of attitude instead of adopting a "what's in it for us" type of attitude.

If you both strive everyday to be there for each other and work together to maintain the relationship you will begin to wonder, as I do, why so many people have so much trouble in their relationships. It just doesn't have to be that way. Life is too short to be miserable or unhappy and only you can change it.

We all want to be loved and love someone in return. When there is too much stress and strife in a relationship it does make it too much like work Since there is too much stress and strife in everyday life wouldn't it be nice to be able to have someone you can have as a refuge from it all? That's the way good love relationships should be.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Relationship Breakup A New Beginning

We have all had a relationship breakup at least once in our lives and they can be quite painful for all involved. After the initial shock of the relationship ending though you might want to look at it like it not being the end of something but the beginning of another something that may be even better.

For every experience we have we learn something from it. That's what helps us increase our wisdom in this life. Take what you learn from everything and use it to further enrich your life. This includes what you learn from things that you fail at. Like a relationship breakup.

I was in a relationship once that was as toxic as they come. But, in the course of the relationship I learned several things about myself that I never knew I had inside me. I found a strength of character that was hiding, or maybe even developed during that relationship. I also found a deep spirituality that I did not know I had as well. The relationship was short lived, only about a year and a half, but the things I came away with will last me a lifetime.

I guess what I am saying is that even though a relationship may not last at least you can benefit in other ways and try to remember what was good about being with that person. Maybe not right after the breakup but with some time and distance you will be able to see clearer just exactly what you learned during that time with them.

Once the relationship has ended and the grieving period is over, try to learn to enjoy your time by yourself. Learn who you really are not who someone else thinks you should be. If you think about it, if you try to be someone you are not and ignore the warning bells going off in your head then that relationship really cannot last. If you are not loved for who you are then stop settling, break it off and either be by yourself for a while then find someone who will love you for you.

I think it is almost impossible to find someone to love if you are not secure in who you are to begin with. That is why so many marriages fail. Too may insecurities on both sides. Too many people try to manipulate each and every situation to their own benefit when what they should be doing is trying to find ways to compromise when the need arises and make each other happy instead of miserable and even more insecure than when the relationship started.

If more people would just use the sense God gave them and think of the other person a little more and themselves a little less then a relationship breakup could be avoided and more people would consider themselves to be happy. Love is an important part of life and too many people don't know how to handle it, or mistreat it when they do have it. Such a shame.