So the relationship is over but now you've determined that you want your ex back. Are your sure it's your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you're missing and not just having somebody special in your life? This is particularly important if you were the one who chose to break up.
Most relationships go through a bad patch at some point. Some of the best marriages have survived problems that would have torn apart less sturdy partnerships. Relationships are all about give and take. That does not mean that one person gives and the other takes! Men and women are really different and we need to learn to live with each other.
Deciding you would like to share your life with somebody is a big commitment. The sexual attraction between a couple, particularly in the early stages, could frequently cloud their judgment and it's surprising how many people enter into long term relationships without having agreed the basics. Little things like where you would like to live and whether you would like to have kids are frequently forgotten in the excitement of being together.
Men and women fall out for all kinds of reasons. At times of financial and family stress, we frequently pick on those nearest to us. When you care for another individual and know them intimately you have the power to truly hurt that person. If we ourselves are hurting, we frequently turn that hurt and anger onto the other person.
It's important to understand why you broke up to begin with. If you ended the relationship because one of you wanted kids and the other did not, then you will find that this in all likelihood has not changed. You might get back together but in the long run will break up again if this issue isn't resolved. Forcing somebody into a large life commitment like having a kid against their will doesn't typically result in a long term happy relationship. If you have very different viewpoints on these life issues, you should stay apart and find somebody more compatible to fall in love with.
If, on the other hand, you break up because of jealousy or some other petty incident then your relationship might be worth saving. If you truly miss your previous partner and know that you would like to share your life with them, then you must do everything in your power to get back with your ex.
Contact your partner and let him/her know that you would like to meet up to talk about the future. Don't get involved in a dissection of what went wrong before. It's too easy to put the blame on the other person. Alternatively agree that there were problems but that you would like to rekindle the relationship. If you want your ex back and your relationship was serious then you may want to propose counselling. It's often helpful to have an impartial person listen to your discussions. You're less likely to lose your temper, storm out and find yourself suddenly single again.
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