Friday, July 31, 2009

How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back She May Not Mean To Break Up

There is no question that women are dramatic. They often say or do things that they really don’t mean. Three fourths of the break ups are initiated by women. But, often they don’t really “mean” to break up. They are just being their normal drama queen selves. But, if you react to a break up badly, you may lose your girlfriend forever. So, here’s how to get ex girlfriend back.

First of all, give her some space. If you don’t call her, she may call you.

Give her a chance to learn what life without you is really like. She may not like staying in on a Saturday night. She may miss cuddling – or more.

By maintaining phone silence, you are also letting her know that you can live without her. She has to decide whether she wants you, because you are prepared to move on.

This is an important tactic in the how to get ex girlfriend back strategy because you may be dying to make up with her. Still, you must stay on the program.

Don’t make a dramatic gesture of your own. Don’t send flowers. Don’t send a long love letter. And, don’t stand under her window and sing!

If she hasn’t called you after a week or so, you need to initiate contact. Email her and casually ask how things are going. Try to keep things unemotional. You want to appear to be pursuing a “just friends” strategy.

If this isn’t enough, you may have to step things up. You can send her a text message, write on her facebook wall, or call her about once a week. Occasionally show up somewhere she hangs out. But don’t bug her. Be prepared to talk to other people.

Make sure that you remember the important dates in her life. You should always send a card or small gift on her birthday so she knows you are thinking about her during the day that belongs to her. If you have a meaningful anniversary, you might want to drop her a note telling her what it means to you. But keep it short and sweet.

If she hasn’t indicated that she’s ready to get back together with you after a month or so, you have to start thinking about the rest of your life. If you’ve learned that you can live without her, you may just want to look for a new girlfriend.

But if you still want to know how to get ex girlfriend back, you can step things up.

For instance, ask one of her friends out and then call her and ask her what kind of restaurant you should take the friend to on the date. This will get her thinking about whether she is ready to really let you go.

At this point, she may just make another dramatic gesture. She may say that she wants you back on whatever terms you set.

Most importantly, you should never “stalk” your ex girlfriend. Think of the song “I’ll Be Watching You” as a guide of things NOT to do. Being relaxed and casual about the future of your relationship is your best bet.

And, that’s how to get ex girlfriend back.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Surviving A Break Up There Is Hope

Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It might seem like there's no hope. But, truly there is.

First off, you have to decide whether the relationship is truly over or whether it is just a temporary situation. Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a respite.

But other times, you know that it's over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was in all likelihood the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.

Occasionally you are able to turn to friends and family members to talk about the situation. If they're sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.

Regrettably, most people are consumed with their own states of affairs. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they might listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”

If this is the case, you might want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. A lot of people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.

At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.

If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.

Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that’s not a bad place to be in.

You can now do the things you want. She didn’t like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He didn’t like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.

And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.

Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.

And that’s how to go about surviving a break up.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Love Break Up Getting Through A Distressing Situation

Are you in love? Break up with your boyfriend could be the most devastating thing in your life if you were truly in love. How can you get through this state of affairs?

Firstly, you need to ascertain whether the relationship is really over. There are a number of ways to get an ex boyfriend back.

You do not want to chase him. You want to give him some space, especially in the first days after a break up. So, do not pester him with calls or texts. Alternatively, let him call you.

If he does not contact you immediately, do not stress about it. Instead, after about a week, call him yourself. But, keep it casual. Do not go all weepy on him and ask him to get back together. Also, keep it short. 5 or 10 minutes should suffice.

If you're still in love after this amount of time, you need to consider making more fundamental changes.

For example, do you need a makeover? Would a new hairstyle or new clothes attract him back? Do you need to lose a couple of pounds?

Also, consider whether there were aspects of your personality that drove him away. Were you always nagging him? Did you drop all of your own friends and hang around with him solely? You might have been crowding him.

If you've identified areas where you are able to change, you need to do them. It might take time, but if he's truly in love, break up will not last.

But, you also have to be prepared to move on. Luckily, any changes you make to win your ex boyfriend back will also help you attract a new guy. For example, learning not to nag a man will help you keep any new boyfriend. And, your new more glamorous self will be sure to attract lots of attention.

Use the time between boyfriends to find out what you truly want in a man also. What was it that attracted you to your ex? Did these qualities hold on over time or did they annoy you after a while? Did you go for somebody on the basis of looks alone to determine that made for a really conceited man? Did you like his sarcastic humor only to find out that he turned it on you?

You should also use this time between boyfriends to figure out what you want in yourself. What can you improve – not for the sake of a guy – but to make the quality of your own life better? This might mean getting back in touch with your girlfriends, taking up a class, or going to church again.

Remember, love break up do happen. Occasionally you are able to get back together and occasionally you can not. The important thing is to be able to roll with the punches and progress to the newer, better you.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

How To Win Your Ex Back When Youre Suffering From The Pain Of A Break Up

Are you suffering from the pain of a break up? Do you feel that you would do anything to turn back the clock a few days? If your love’s run out, here’s how to win your ex back.

Firstly, do not go out and chase them. They in all likelihood need some space. As a matter of fact, frequently they will come to regret their decision if they aren’t pressured.

That means that you should not call, text or e-mail them for a week or so. Whatsoever you do, do not go begging them to come back. Do not send flowers or love notes. Alternatively, hang back and chill.

After a week or so, if your love has not made any contact, it's now alright to do it yourself. But be casual about it. Drop them an e-mail saying “how are you doing?” Once again, do not overdo it. You do not want to appear too eager.

Just as there's power in romantic relationships, there's a power balance in a break up situation. If you give up your power by chasing your ex, you actually lessen your chances of getting them back.

If the situation was a minor blow up, you might be able to win your ex back by stepping back for a few days and then dropping a casual hint that you're still interested.

But, if a month or so has gone by and you are still not back together, it is time to step things up. By this time, he or she has in all likelihood began thinking of new mates. Now, it is time to really learn how to win your ex back.

It's really important not to crowd your ex, even when you're pursuing them. Do not stalk. It's all right to show up where they hang out now and again, but be prepared to pay attention to others besides your ex.

You should also consider contacting your ex now and then in a casual way. For example, you may e-mail them saying “I walked by the park where we flew kites that time and it made me think of you. I miss those days.” Also, make certain that you always remember their birthday with a card or small gift. This will let them know that they're still on your radar.

One controversial maneuver is to ask one of your ex’s friends out on a date. Then text your ex and ask him or her where the friend would like to go on the date. This will make your ex think that you're moving on and make him or her question whether they truly want to be broken up.

It's O.K. to date others while you're broken up, but you should refrain from sleeping with them. Your ex might consider this a final sign that the relationship is over. So, be true to your love even though you've broken up.

And that is how to win your ex back.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

How To Get Over Girl

A lot of girls dump their boyfriends and do not give any real reason. They have the urge to purge and drop their lover without him doing anything to her. Occasionally they want to get back together immediately, but other times, they move on leaving you to hold the bag. This article will talk about how to get over girl.

Firstly, you should understand that you're not alone. Most men fear being dumped by a serious lover than being rejected in the early stages of dating. This is since the bonds men form with the women they're dating are important to them. Occasionally it seems that the men see them as more important than the women do despite all of the literature directed toward women about relationships.

To get over girl, you need to stop adoring her. Do not put her up on a pedestal like some sort of Greek Goddess. She has feet of clay which she exposed by dumping you when you did nothing wrong.

Do not hold on to past memories of her. Remove the photos and momentos in your home that remind you of her. If you have some of her “stuff” remove it or give it back to her.

If you've entangled finances, sort them out so you are able to move on. This includes both joint banking accounts and settling debts you owe one another.

Do not allow her to occupy the space in your mind that she had when you were together. She is part of the past and you have to live in the present and the future.

Close out all contact with your ex. Do not call her “just to chat” or allow her to continue to e-mail or text you. Instead, tell her that she called it quits and you would like to begin afresh life without her in it.

This might make her want to pursue you even harder. Women are strange that way. They want what they can not have. If you're open to resuming the relationship, you are able to allow this communication to go on. But, if you would like to begin the healing process, she should be a persona non gratis in your life.

Do not be scared to express your feelings. Occasionally writing in a journal or writing music is sufficient. Other times, you will need a shoulder to lean on. If the situation is severe, consider getting short term counseling.

In conclusion, do not mope around the house. Get back into the game. While you might not be ready to begin dating again, you should go to the gym, play hoops with your buddies and go to a bar now and then. Do not stick around the house because you're too sad to go out.

If you have the chance to go out on a casual date, take advantage of it. Show the girl a good time, even if you are not really that in to her. You'll be more ready for a real relationship if you have kept up your dating skills.

That's how to get over girl.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Advice On A Boyfriend Break Up

Have you just broken up with a guy? Are you lost without him? Do you wonder if you can get him back? Here’s some advice about a boyfriend break up.

Firstly, determine whether the relationship is really finished. Until you can say that he's part of your past and not your present and future, you won't be able to move on.

This isn't to say that you have to put him in the past immediately. There are a number of steps you are able to take to get him back. You can stay part of his life in a casual way hoping to become boyfriend and girlfriend once again.

But, if you're ready to move on, there are a number of steps you are able to take to reach closure. Closure is the process where you recognize that the relationship is over and you begin to heal.

Perhaps the first thing you should do is communicate your hurt. There are numerous ways to do this:

· Talk to friends and family who are truly sympathetic and can help you work through your feelings. A true friend will do this, but many of your so called friends will not be up to the challenge.
· Go into short term therapy so you are able to work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party
· Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music. This is a cheap way to express yourself and does not require anybody else to participate.

Once you've come to some level of closure, get rid of anything you have of your ex’s. These things will only remind you of him and the boyfriend break up. Some things you will want to return because they have value. Other things you can just toss. And, if he has given you gifts that you would like to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.

Next, work out how you are going to spend your time now that you're not part of a couple. You might feel that time hangs heavy on your hands. Or, you might find that you're liberated by not having to do everything your ex wanted you to do.

Get involved in things that make you happy. Go to the gym so that you look and feel good. Spend some time getting pampered at the spa. Take a Spanish class at the community center. Or, start to volunteer with the Big Sisters of America.

By doing things that please you, you will become a happier person. You will find that you miss your ex a great deal less.

One of the ways you will know that you're over your ex is that you'll begin to develop feelings for a new guy. Perhaps these will be reciprocated. Eventually, you will find a new man and form afresh relationship. That will be when you know you've truly moved on. The boyfriend break up will not be so serious any longer.

What Can Save Marriage When Everything Seems Hopeless

What can save marriage when everything seems hopeless?

Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions. It's the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the foundation for society. So, there's a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.

But that does not mean that marriages today do not run into trouble. The changing roles of men and women, financial pressures, and difficulties with kids all make it difficult to make marriages work.

So who do you turn to?

Maybe the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church.

While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will concentrate on making the marriage work in a holistic sense. Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.

Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist?

A secular therapist’s education focuses almost completely on treating individual psycho pathologies. Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors might have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy. Do you think this approach can save marriage?

A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together. With the exception of abuse in the relationship, they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever.

Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling. Increasingly seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees. But even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.

If you do not have a church home, you may have some trouble finding a pastor to help you. And, you do not have 6 months to establish membership in a church before approaching the pastor.

In this case, you are able to call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars. Once you've established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you might be able to do follow up counselor with the same person.

A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with a lot of different types of issues. There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions. You'll also have time to work on questions individually.

Communication is a big issue at these conferences. If you are able to work on your communications issues, you'll find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.

Sex, finances, and child raising are also addressed. The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship. You do not have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you'll be when you leave.

Marriage is tough. Occasionally it seems like the relationship can't endure. But, there are so many reasons to see if you can not make it work. In this case, consider seeing if a pastor can save marriage.

Friday, July 24, 2009

5 Strategies To Win Back Lost Love

We all have emotions and love is the strongest passion of them all. Consequently, when love ends, it might seem fatal. But there are ways to win back lost love. This article will look at five strategies to pursue when you are trying to get your lover back.

Firstly, you need to be honest to yourself and to each other. If there were underlying problems in your relationship, it's essential that you address them. For example, if housekeeping was a big issue, you need to address it before you are able to get back together. If you're messy and your ex was a neat freak, it can cause a considerable amount of stress in the relationship. If one person felt they were doing all the housekeeping, it could cause a strain. Finances are another area where there could be strain. To win back lost love, you have to address these areas before you get back together.

Next, you need to be a dependable person. If you have broken up already, you need to be dependable as an ex. You need to be there when he or she needs you, even though you no longer have a “responsibility” to. For example, if she is moving, lend a helping hand and your truck. If he needs somebody to type his resume, do it for him.

Third, encourage your ex. One of the things people miss when they break up is the encouragement their partner gives them. So, to win back lost love, try to determine where they're discouraged and cheer them up. If they're having a performance review at work, send an e-mail timed to get there right before the meeting. If they're singing a solo at church, show up to give them some moral support.

Fourth, listen to them when they call. Most of the time after a break up, there's some level of communication. Frequently, this degenerates into fights. But, if you truly listen to the things your ex is telling you, you might be able to work out a way to get back into their life. Encourage them to share their problems with you. Do not try to solve them. Just let them express their concerns with life. Be a sounding board.

Fifth, do not sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be played on the playing field. If you sit on the sidelines, it is likely that somebody else will become the quarterback of their life. Do not give up on the relationship unless you're ready to move on yourself. Things are not going to get better on their own. You have to go out and make things better.

If you want to win back lost love, you have to take this five part action guide to heart. You have to be proactive.

The most important thing is to truly care about your ex and to show him or her that you do care. You should not be worried if they date others because they will come back to you if you are the right person for them.

You should know that it's possible to win back lost love. Now go out there and do it!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Did Your Girlfriend Break Up With You

Did your girlfriend break up with you? You're not the first guy to go through this. As a matter of fact, girls initiate three quarters of the break ups while guys only dump the girl in one quarter of the situations. Therefore, guys have to deal with being dumped far more frequently than girls do.

Compounding the problem is the impression that men are supposed to deal with their emotions stoically. While women are allowed to dissect every part of their relationship, men are expected to roll with the punches.

But this does not mean that men do not have emotions. They hurt when women dump them. A girlfriend break up is rather painful.

Firstly, men tend to place more value on stable relationships than women do. While a man may be interested in a fling with a woman who isn't his girlfriend, what he truly wants is somebody who will be there in good times and bad.

But, once your girlfriend has dumped you, it is important to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life.

Firstly, you should find some way to express yourself. Girls could do this by writing poetry or discussing the relationship endlessly with their friends. Men frequently do not feel comfortable with these options. But, if you play the guitar or piano, try writing some music that allows you to express your feelings. A lot of the good songs are about the pain of breaking up.

Next, you need to clear out your place of all of the things that remind you of her. If she has clothes at your house, give them back. Throw away her toothbrush. And, if she has given you any gifts that you want to keep, box them up for the time being until you can look at them without having turbulent emotions.

You'll want to close off communications with her, at least for the short term. If either of you owe the other money, try to settle up so that won’t be an avenue for talking.

Then tell your ex that you want to go silent for a while. That means no calls, texts, or emails. Stay off each other’s myspace and facebook pages. In time, you may be able to be friends again, but right now you both need to give each other the space to heal.

Then, you need to get out of the house. Make a point of playing pick up basketball with your friends. Go out to a bar from time to time. Become a big brother to an underprivileged kid.

Then, start to get back into the dating scene once again. At first, you can have casual dates that may not lead to anything. But, over time, you will meet someone you really care about. And, at that point, you will know that you have some closure about the old relationship. You won’t be worried about the old girlfriend break up any more.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Getting Over Break Up When Your Heart Is Broken

A couple of things are more painful than having your heart broken.

Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up. Occasionally you are the one who called it off and other times your ex did, but in either case, there's pain on both sides. And, occasionally the break up happened for good reasons while other times it appeared to go up in a puff of smoke for no reason at all. These can be the most painful of all.

If you do not go about getting over the break up though, there could be a few serious consequences. Do not fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love. The worst trap of all is to begin to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.

Firstly, you should realize that if you do not get over your ex, it will be toxic to any future relationship you may have.

Second, realize that you can not run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it. You have to face the pain head on and deal with it.

There is no way out of a broken heart. There is only a way through. Accept that there is going to be pain. Use the time during this period to understand the hurt. Some ways to do this are to write in a journal, get counseling, or pour your heart out in song. Recognize there are no fast solutions to getting over break up.

Next, you need to examine whether there's anything in your past that would have lead to this break up. For example, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship? Take note of those things because they'll help you foster healthier relationships in the future.

Do not paint yourself as the victim of the relationship either. Take responsibility for your actions. While your ex might have been the one whose “fault” was the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you.

By eliminating your “victim story” you become a healthier, more attractive partner for a future boyfriend or girlfriend. You will begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

When you handle your broken heart badly, you perpetuate your pain. You will never go about getting over break up.

But, when you are able to handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable healing.

Getting over a broken heart takes work. It also takes time. Do not underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.

You have just lost a person who was extremely important to your life. But, use this time for growth and you'll become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future. That's how you really go about getting over break up.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Moving On - Break Up Advice

Sheila knew it was time to be moving on. Break up with her boyfriend Mike had just happened. She knew there was no chance of getting back together, so she had to get on with her life.

First, Sheila tried talking to her friends about the break up. At first, they were sympathetic. But soon, they became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own issues. Sheila became frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mom, on the other hand, couldn’t talk about anything but Mike. She thought Sheila was insane to let him get away. It sometimes seemed like her mom had been more in love with Mike than Sheila ever was.

After a few weeks, Sheila decided to go to a therapist for five sessions. Over the course of a few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.

The first thing she did was to for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Mike’s things. Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back. Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away. And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Mike.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Mike was around. For instance, Mike would never go to the ballet with her. Sheila had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle. When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went. This is not something she would have done if she had been together with Mike.

She also decided to join an adult dance class. Partially, it got her out of the house two nights a week. It also got her back into shape. But, she was able to meet new people as well. She liked the comraderie of the class.

She also explored new passions. She never knew much about fine wines. Mike had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white. But when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate. She began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine.

And, she met Robert. Robert was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food. He was also interested in Sheila.

Part of how Sheila knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Mike was that she was interested in Robert.

Sheila doesn’t know whether the relationship with Robert is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling. But she does know that she doesn’t miss Mike when Robert is around. And that’s moving on break up advice!

Thinking Of Divorce Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor

Are you thinking of divorce? Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor. There are a lot of therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are truly good? This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.

Firstly, you want to see what their credentials are. There are 3 basic classes of counselors.

The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people attended graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. Additionally, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the individual must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are frequently more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.

Then there's the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They could work in institutions or with individuals.

Finally, there's the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Frequently called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have two year degrees and may not have written a dissertation. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

If you're using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will in all likelihood direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they're less expensive.

Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the costliest while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you're trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.

Consider the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

Frequently, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this may make counseling affordable when it otherwise may not be.

Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:

· What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
· Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
· Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session? Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
· Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?

A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you do not have split up. Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal. If you do not feel that you're in synch with your counselor, move on and find somebody who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ex Wants Back Together But I Dont

Ex wants back together but you don't? That's an incredibly hard position to be in, particularly if you have reasons to keep the peace or are just still interested in being friends. You want to make certain that you do not cave into the pressure to get back together, though. It may be the right thing but you need to examine the reasons that you broke up to begin with. If you aren't completely convinced that it's the right thing then you really shouldn't. We will be looking at two of the big reasons that you might have broken up and may very well be why you should not get back together once again, even though ex wants back together.

Among the things that may be why you broke up to begin with is that you have your eyes set on marrying and do not believe that they're “the one” for you. Your ex wants back together but you might have found out that they aren't, for some reason, what you're seeking in a spouse. You have certain ideals and certain things that you're looking for in a marriage partner. While you were dating, you discovered that this person did not have what you needed.

It does not matter what precisely the reasons are, it's something that you can not see yourself living with the rest of your life. If you have realized that they aren't what you need, then why waste time on on a futile effort if it's only going to take away from your ultimate goal of getting married. You will only be putting off the inevitable future break up and perhaps missing out on finding that one that you truly should be with. Your ex wants back together but it merely would not be the life time commitment that you crave so choosing not to only makes sense.

Another reason that it may not be a good idea to get back together with ex even though ex wants back together is you plainly just do not have the feelings towards them that you had formerly. If there are no other good reasons for being together, children together being the main and most important one, then it really Is not fair to either individual. Both of you deserve to be in a situation better than one person being “stuck” with the other. You deserve to not feel so obligated and they deserve to not be with somebody who would simply rather not be with them.

If your ex wants back together, while it might seem the easiest solution to get back together, it might not be the best one. Look closely at the reasons that you broke up to begin with. If you're convinced that they just aren't right for you then do not feel pressured into doing something that ultimately would do neither one of you any good. Do not do the wrong thing trying to do the nice thing and get back together because ex wants back together.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back Ever

“Can I get my girlfriend back ever?” If that's what you're wondering it appears like you might be in a desperate situation. There is hope but it might be only a sliver. You have to believe that it will not result in your or hers heart getting broken again. The fact is one of you screwed up. Who was it? Could the individual who made the mistake that caused you to get broken up to begin with be trusted again? The answer to that question might not let you know the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” but it will help you know if you should.

Is it a good idea for both of you to get back together? If you're fully convinced that it is then you may be able to. The problem is in convincing the ex girlfriend that you should. You need to write down all the reasons that it will be a good idea to get back together. It does not need to be a letter or anything. It could be just a list of all the reasons why it would be a good thing to get your girlfriend back. You can even put at the top of it, “Can I get my girlfriend back or should I even try?”

On this list you're going to put down every reason that it would be good to get back together. Try brain storming if you have trouble coming up with good ideas. Write down everything that you are able to think of whether it’s silly or not. Occasionally the little things make all the difference in the world. After you have your list, go through and write down an objection for each one. Do not be afraid to do this, it is called being objective. The answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” Perhaps yes if you can find all objections and overcome them.

View this all critically and try to convince yourself that it Is not a good idea. If you can not do that then it is a matter of letting your ex girlfriend know the reasons why you should. What you have done with all of this is made yourself able to deal with any objections and concerns that she has of why it would not be a good thing. You might have very well discovered the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” by answering all the questions surrounding that one.

There's one objection that you may not be able to overcome and that is, “I just don’t want to.” If she just doesn't want to get back together, there might be no other reason for it. You can not make her want you. You can not convince her that she should. This is one of the things that you have to be prepared for. What you will be doing, though, is getting to that answer. If she does have a part of her that wants to be with you then the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” is ‘yes’.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Getting Back Together After A Break Up

Is getting back together after a break up something that the both of you would like to do or is it one sided? This is the place that you need to begin. If it's something that the both of you are committed to doing then you very well may see this working out. It will take a commitment from the both of you and a desire to give in and work conjointly to overcome the matters that caused the break up or divorce. If, though, it's one sided and you're the only one who's truly interested in getting back together after a break up, then you might be fighting an uphill battle.

What is going to make to getting back together after a break up work or not is total commitment from both of you. Each of you have to be capable to concede that you were and are wrong about things. You have to be able to acknowledge that without trying to justify everything. When you try to justify errors you made you're basically making up excuses. Just be able to admit it and move on to correct it. It will likely take both of you working together to overcome your mistakes. It is a partnership that both of you are going to have to be invested in 100% but the commitment level from both of you needs to be completely balanced.

It is really easy to think that it's the other person that's to do the work. It's too easy to let one person do the work. If it's just one person who is doing the majority of the work in this reconciliation attempt, it most likely is going to fail. It took two to make the relationship or marriage happen in the first place. Repairing the relationship is going to take both of you together. You have to struggle together for there to be a life together at all. This is something that you should have known when you first got together and it's something that you have to know for it to work from here on out.

If you're the only one of the two of you who thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it's only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It's sad to say but if it Is not both of you wanting it and working towards it, it might be a unproductive attempt. This does not mean that you should not try, it just means that you'll have a monumentally hard time making this work. It's difficult enough getting back together after a break up when two of you are working for it. Getting back together after a break up on your own might just take a great deal more patience and perseverance.

Again, it will be hard regardless what. What is going to help with the success of it is making a point that you have a good support system. If you have friends and family who are not alone encouraging you but assisting you, your chances of success grow as you continue getting back together after a break up.

Getting Boyfriend Back Go Get Him

If you're truly interested in getting boyfriend back then you might have to be a little more aggressive than you are used to being. You might have to put yourself in the role of the hunter instead of the hunted. If you're more experienced in being pursued than pursuing than you might be in for a tough time, unless you are able to figure out a way to hunt that suits your strengths. You have to use the tools that you have at your disposal. You'll have to be creative. You will also have to know how guys think and make decisions and use that to your advantage. Getting boyfriend back might rely on the hunter becoming the hunted.

The natural role of the male is that of the hunter. It's typically the guy who wants to go out and capture what he wants. He needs to feel the thrill of the chase. He needs to feel like he's attaining something. Yes, he needs to feel like he scored. How do you use that to your advantage? Is there something that you are able to do to go out and recapture somebody who would rather be the one capturing rather than being captured? Yes, there is. Getting boyfriend back is going to cause you to trick the boyfriend back into thinking that he is pursuing you and capturing you.

In getting boyfriend back, you're going to have to use everything that you know about your ex boyfriend. You're going to have to know what he's interested in. You have to know what drives him and what makes him jump at opportunities. You might have to look really closely, though, because things might have changed. Pay close attention to what motivates him to act and then see if you are able to get and be those things that motivates him.

What this means is that you're going to be using yourself as bait in trying to land this big fish. The greatest draw that will help you in getting boyfriend back is going to be what you cause him to see in you. Become what it is that he wants you to be. Let him see that you're what he is seeking and can not live without. That you are what he has to have and what he has to go after.

You have to be subtle taking this strategy in getting boyfriend back. You can not throw yourself down and say, “Here I am!” As attractive as you may be you might have just made yourself boring. What he needs to have is a chase. What you are going to do is cause him to imagine you. You have to give him just a bit of attention and a small piece of what it is that he wants to see and then take it away. Do not take it too far away, remember ‘out of sight, out of mind’. Your goal is to make yourself just out of reach after making him want to reach out for you. Getting boyfriend back requires a bit of teasing but it is a good way for the hunter to get what they want.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

There are a lot of people like you who are struggling to determine how to get back with your ex boyfriend. The problem may be as with any apparently insurmountable obstacle and that's all they can see is the mountain in front of them. It is difficult to process and figure out how you are able to fix what went so wrong. It may be overwhelming. It does not have to be, although. The secret to learning how to get back with your boyfriend might be in the little things.

Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.

Q: How to get back with your ex boyfriend?
A: One step at a time.

What you need to do is carefully look at what it was that made what you had together so special. What were the little things that made the two of you smile? What was it that made him smile? If you are able to find those things and not alone remind him of them but make him think of them then you have a chance. Was there some look that you gave that made him grin? Give him that look. Was there some song that he loved to hear? Hum a bit of it or sing just a little really softly if you are able to carry a tune. Even if you can not sing, give a little smile when he is around and sing just a little bit of it lightly enough that he just barely hears it and laugh at yourself.

Give him a reason to give you just a little help with something. Show that you can still rely on him and you feel comfortable asking him for a little assistance. The hard thing with this isn't becoming a burden on him. You need to not bother him with trivial things or very frequently, just a little something every once in while. The point is to be like a good perfume worn right. It has to be sweet enough to catch his attention and wet his appetite but not strong enough to knock him out of his chair and into a coma.

How to get back with your ex boyfriend is going to involve numerous planned and orchestrated tactics. You're going to have to arrange “accidental” and “spontaneous” meetings. It can not look like you're tying to manipulate and you do not need to make yourself known. Be that individual that he thinks he sees but do not “draw attention” to yourself. Be there, be seen, but do not “see” him except to possibly give a little smile or a wink but then vanish. Enough of that done correctly and you truly have found the secret how to get back with your boyfriend.

When you really have your eye set it and want to know how to get back with your ex boyfriend, you're going to have to be stealthy. You're going to have to lure him but let him make the moves. Make him hunt you. Make him pursue. Your job is to get him to think it is his idea to get back together with you. Best way how to get back with your ex boyfriend is to get him to ask the same thing about you.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Get Back Together With Ex Bad Idea

You might be tempted to try and get back together with ex but is it truly something that you want to do. It may be the best thing in the world but it may also be World War II. The best way to determine is to attack the idea and tear it apart. You want to be able to find all the reasons that it will not work and not to be negative about the chances either. You want to see if it could handle an imaginary beating before you give you and your former lover a real emotional beating. If it withstands the examination, then just perhaps it Is not a bad idea to get back together with ex.

It may very well be that you have grown out of the relationship. People grow over time. If you or your former spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend have gone through an emotional growth spurt then it may be that one of you outgrew the other. It may also be that you outgrew the need for the other. People change and where you had so much in common and had so many common needs, there might be little there. If it truly is a good idea to get back together with ex then you'll find that both of you genuinely do need one another and make one another stronger. Look closely, though. Have your paths diverged? Are you like a stream that has branched off into two? Look truthfully at the direction you're going and be real about it.

Could it be that one of you actually is more interested in the other more than they are in them? Are you more interested in a relationship with them than they are with you? Is it the other way around? If you think that you may want to get back together with ex then you should be someplace near the same in level of interest. You should be on pretty equal billing here. There should be a mutual admiration society of two going on here. If there isn't that balance, then it in all likelihood Is not a good idea to get back together with ex.

Now is it a matter of one of you being controlling over the other? This is something that's really common in couples and is a leading factor in unhappiness within the relationship and is a major part of breaking up or divorce. In this instance you'll truly have to take a good, hard look at the state of affairs. Is it emotionally healthy for both of you? Are one of you in the driver seat and the other a captive passenger? Then this truly in all likelihood Is not a situation where it is a good idea to get back together with ex.

There are a lot of other reasons that people break up and those might not have been the situation that the two of you were in but the principle applies for most every situation. Take a good and honest look at it and fight to see the reasons that it will not work. If you are able to convince yourself that it will only end in a breakup again, then you should not do it. If, nevertheless, you decide that it Is not guaranteed or even mostly likely that you'll break up again, then it may be a good idea to get back together with ex.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Love To Get Your Ex Wife Back

If your goal is to get your ex wife back then you have to admit something that you might not want to. You might have to admit you are weak. Will you have to admit it to her? That depends upon how she views you at the moment, how you've come across in the past and how she will view you in the future. The trick to get your ex wife back is to let her know that you have changed and that you are, can be, and will be the one that she wants.

Wanting to get your ex wife back is admitting that you're weak. You're admitting that you need her and are incomplete with out her. You're acknowledging that you have to have her in order for life to make sense and/or work. Once you make the effort, she's going to be figuring that out on her own. Just making the effort to get your ex wife back is proof of that. How did she view you before the break up? Did you divorce because you were seen as being weak? Hopefully that's not the case. If so, coming back and trying to reconcile after the divorce or break up might be seen as groveling back and might not be something that she wants to see from her man.

If, though, you were seen as being especially hard-nosed and egoistic then you're essentially saying that you were wrong. This isn't a bad thing. When you show that you are able to admit that you were wrong shows that you're willing to admit that you're human. Being wrong is weak but admitting it and trying to correct it takes vast strength. Letting down your guard and telling the her that you were wrong shows that you're serious about wanting to get your ex wife back. Even though it is admitting that you're weak, it's showing that you're strong enough to deal with it.

When you are trying to win your ex wife back, you have to know that you're putting your future in another persons hands. The results are far from sure. The truth is the damage might already be done and it has reached the point of no return. Does this mean that you should not try? Nope. It does mean that everything that you do has to be above and beyond any reasonable doubt that she may have. This will mean being honest in not just admitting how wrong you might have been but honest in really trying to change.

If you go back to your ex wife and try to convince her that you've changed and that you're worth the risk, you have to be honest. If you aren’t and you aren’t willing to follow through on your commitment to be better things will only crumble once again. If you're going to go through with the effort to get your ex wife back, make certain that the change in you is real.

Love To Get Your Ex Wife Back

If your goal is to get your ex wife back then you have to admit something that you might not want to. You might have to admit you are weak. Will you have to admit it to her? That depends upon how she views you at the moment, how you've come across in the past and how she will view you in the future. The trick to get your ex wife back is to let her know that you have changed and that you are, can be, and will be the one that she wants.

Wanting to get your ex wife back is admitting that you're weak. You're admitting that you need her and are incomplete with out her. You're acknowledging that you have to have her in order for life to make sense and/or work. Once you make the effort, she's going to be figuring that out on her own. Just making the effort to get your ex wife back is proof of that. How did she view you before the break up? Did you divorce because you were seen as being weak? Hopefully that's not the case. If so, coming back and trying to reconcile after the divorce or break up might be seen as groveling back and might not be something that she wants to see from her man.

If, though, you were seen as being especially hard-nosed and egoistic then you're essentially saying that you were wrong. This isn't a bad thing. When you show that you are able to admit that you were wrong shows that you're willing to admit that you're human. Being wrong is weak but admitting it and trying to correct it takes vast strength. Letting down your guard and telling the her that you were wrong shows that you're serious about wanting to get your ex wife back. Even though it is admitting that you're weak, it's showing that you're strong enough to deal with it.

When you are trying to win your ex wife back, you have to know that you're putting your future in another persons hands. The results are far from sure. The truth is the damage might already be done and it has reached the point of no return. Does this mean that you should not try? Nope. It does mean that everything that you do has to be above and beyond any reasonable doubt that she may have. This will mean being honest in not just admitting how wrong you might have been but honest in really trying to change.

If you go back to your ex wife and try to convince her that you've changed and that you're worth the risk, you have to be honest. If you aren’t and you aren’t willing to follow through on your commitment to be better things will only crumble once again. If you're going to go through with the effort to get your ex wife back, make certain that the change in you is real.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back

How to get an ex boyfriend back is a hard thing to do particularly if he does not want to come back. His not wanting to take you back might be a short-term situation or it may be a long term one. For the most part it depends on the state of affairs. You can not force him to change his mind but you are able to do a few things that may help influence him. Part of it comes in knowing what failed and how come. The rest comes in finding what could be done differently and then convincing him that it could be. How to get an ex boyfriend back might be a tough road to travel and the destination might be unknown but it could result in a lifetime of rewards.

What happened to get you to this point where you need to know how to get an ex boyfriend back to begin with? You need to take an honest look at what took place in the relationship. Was it something that you did or something that he did? If it was something that he did, you might want to rethink the whole thing because you need to be perfectly certain that he Is not going to do it once more. If it was something that you did then what was it that brought you to the point that a split would happen? What and where did things go wrong? First and foremost, what is going to keep it from happening again? You have to have an answer for this.

What is going to be done differently if you're successful in determining how to get an ex boyfriend back? Why should he believe that things are changed or will be different? Are you changing a few things? Is he? This will take more than just words and a desire to be better: it will take action. It will take effort on both your part and his. In this you must be willing to lead by example and you might have to prove that you're trustworthy in this before he will give you another chance.

Proving to him that you can have a better relationship might be the hardest part of it. If there are mistakes that have been made in the past that kept repeating, how could you prove that it won’t happen again? Only one way it could happen and that's to be incredibly diligent in your efforts to not let that take place again. If somebody wants you to stop smoking and it's important to not let them down then how are you going to show that you are able to stop? Easy answer, you do not do it any longer. You avoid situations where you're likely to crave it or where you may be tempted to do it. You also seek help. That is what it's going to take with learning how to get an ex boyfriend back.

You will not be able to do it on your own. Restoring a broken relationship will take more than your efforts and desires. It will take both of you. You need an ally to help you get matters back together. Once you've gotten your ex boyfriend convinced that it's worth working on then you'll have your ally and will have discovered how to get an ex boyfriend back.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Should I Get Back With Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with ex girlfriend when you think you can not be away from her? When you believe you can not live without her and your life is incomplete you might have a challenge on your hands. It Is not an impossible challenge, though. It's something that you are able to do but it will take a lot of self-contemplation and thought about the situation. If you think you may want to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make certain it is worth it.

If you're trying to figure what made you have to get back with ex girlfriend to begin with you need to ask your self a few questions. What was the reason for the break up to begin with? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? This is something that may be difficult to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered individual? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so certain that you're done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking?

Before you try to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make certain that it's a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it's just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it might not be the best for them. You might have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you, it may not have good or positive results.

If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then why do you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there's real remorse and a willingness to change, you may have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do this again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that's harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably do not. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did is not going to repeat itself then perhaps you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to see that that she's done looking out for only her self-interest and is more concerned in something that's good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you are able to act in the best interest of one another. You can not expect this relationship to go far if either one of you is egoistic. If you genuinely believe that you both are done being self-centered and can really be focused on the relationship it might be a good thing to get back together with ex.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Only Human Getting Back With Your Ex

Getting back with your ex is an incredibly hard thing to do because there's been feelings hurt and hearts broken. What could make it worse is there are also in all likelihood very unrealistic expectations of what you want from one another. The thing to recognize is that you're both human and fully capable of making mistakes. Not alone that but it should be understood that both of you are going to make mistakes. The reason that you're broken up or divorced is that there were mistakes made on both of your parts. As much as you'd like to believe it, neither one of you are perfect and are, in reality, quite far from it. Getting back with your ex means recognizing this.

While getting back with your ex or trying to do that it's going to be very obvious and simple to point out the mistakes that the other made. What is going to be more difficult is to point out the mistakes that you made. You have to look closely and see what it was that you did that either helped make the split possible but helped make the situation and relationship as bad as it got. You have to own up to your part in the ending of the relationship.

You have to own your own mistakes. You can not hide them. You can not cover them up. You can not make excuses for them. You can not sugar coat them. You can not pretend they aren’t there. You can not do any of that and have the reconciliation effort succeed. Pointing fingers is what caused the split to materialize to begin with. Pointing fingers isn't going to help getting back with your ex. You're only human. That point might appear obvious but in the attitude we take occasionally we might not show we feel that way.

In getting back with your ex, you have to realize likewise that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend or ex husband or ex wife you no longer want to be your ex. You have to understand that if you want them to be with you for the long-run or for life you have to realize how special they are to you. They can not realize that if they can not feel that you think that. They have to know that you would like to be with them. If you treat them like trash for the mistakes they made and hold it over their head they aren’t going to feel really special. The mistakes they made might have been bad but you need to let them know that you would like to be with them anyhow. They have to see from you that they are special enough to look past their faults.

Is not that what you want? To know that even with all your faults that they love you still? What greater way is there than to show that to the person you want to be with? There's no other thing that's going to help them feel truly special. It does not excuse mistakes but it says that what you have together is bigger and better than what it was that tore you apart. Getting back with your ex means realizing each other’s humanity and loving each other anyway.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

How Get Your Ex Back Let Her Make The First Move

Do you wonder how get your ex back? So did Mike O’Casey. His girlfriend had stormed out one day and said “I don’t ever want to see you again. Mike was devastated to say the least. He was desperate and wanted to know how get your ex back.

The first thing Mike needs to realize is that his ex, Valerie, needs some space. She was apparently stressed and / or angry about something and she needs to recoup.

The last thing Valerie needs is for Mike to jump in and start phoning, texting, and e-mailing her. She does not need flowers or love letters. These are all things not to do when you wonder how get your ex back.

Alternatively, he should wait for Valerie to call him. She will have to contact him sooner or later, if only to arrange to pick up the things she has at his house. She's also going to want closure on the situation.

At this point, Mike needs to be ready to make his move. He needs to be open to talking about the problems that their relationship was going through and admit his role in them. He also needs to confront Valerie on the things she was doing that caused challenges in their partnership.

Mike and Valerie need to have a long candid talk. But, Valerie needs to initiate the contact.

When somebody has just walked out of your life, you might feel a need to grab them back. This is the wrong maneuver.

There was apparently a problem that needed a grand gesture on your ex’s part. Once he or she gets that out of their system, you're ready to make progress on the problem.

But, if you crowd your ex, you tell him or her that you're desperate for their love. You let them know that they're completely calling the shots. When you give in this way, you're really pushing them away.

If you're wondering how get ex back, you should begin by giving him or her the space needed to get some perspective on the relationship. If you do not, you will drive them even further away.

Your ex is obviously attracted to you. He or she would have left quietly if they just wanted to move on. The good news is that the grand gesture or dramatics lets you know that they still have a considerable amount of emotional energy invested in the relationship.

But, do not squander that emotional energy by pursuing them prematurely. Let your ex settle down and get some perspective. Only then will you be able to solve the problems in your relationship.

Mike was patient and waited for Valerie to call him. When she did, she was fairly embarrassed about how she had left things. When Mike suggested they meet for coffee and discuss things, she readily agreed. Valerie wanted to get their relationship back on track, and the way Valerie handled things allowed her to have the space she needed to do so.

And, that's how get your ex back.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together With - Get A Commitment

Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend. To get back together, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

Brian was an on again off again sort of man. He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and say they should see others. This had happened 3 times and Jenny was sick of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend. To get back together this time would require something more.

So, Jenny sat down and decided what she needed from Brian. She decided that she would pursue a two prong strategy.

Firstly, she said that they may get back together one more time. If he called things off after that, she would progress with her life. Brian had to be very serious this time.

But the second prong was just as significant. Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers. She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon. Brian would comply at the start but then ask for more space after a few weeks.

So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship. She would not pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women. Other than that basic principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the understanding that he would control the pace, Brian was rather receptive.

Brian, like most men, needed to be the pursuer. When Jenny set the pace, she took away his ability to pursue her. He found that he felt both emasculated and smothered simultaneously.

So, Jenny stopped calling him. She let Brian call her. She stopped proposing date ideas and let him set things up.

Jenny found that initially they did not go out as frequently as she would have liked. And, their dates were less “creative” than they would have been had she planned them.

But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it had been in the past. Brian no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was with her. And, he no longer needed to take “breaks” from her.

Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted. She knew she wanted Brian and she knew she wanted him full time.

But, she also needed to figure out what Brian wanted. He wanted to have space and he also wanted to be in control of the relationship. Despite being a modern woman, Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.

Suddenly, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend. To get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs. Then deliver.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Get Back Together With Ex Listen To Him

Kristi was devastated. She wanted to get back together with ex boyfriend Thad. Thad had told her that he needed some “space.” Thad said that he still cared for her but did not want to date exclusively any longer.

What should Kristi do to get back together with ex Thad? Should she call him and text him? Should she show up and flirt with his friends? Should she ignore him completely?

Actually, she should do none of these. Rather, she should listen to him.

He says that he loves her but that he needs space. While this might seem like a cliché, the truth is that a lot of times when people use this line they mean what they say.

Occasionally a relationship just gets ahead of an individual. They might not be ready for the responsibilities a relationship carries. But that does not mean that they do not love their ex. As a matter of fact, they might love him or her a bit much and would like to take a step back.

Given that this is the case, let’s have a look at what disastrous things could happen if you handle the situation poorly.

For example, if Kristi were to continuously pursue Thad with calls, e-mails and texts, she would not be giving him the space he needed to get his head on straight. Letters, gifts, and singing songs under his window late at night would have the same effect.

One of Kristi’s friends advised that she begin flirting with all of Thad’s friends to make him jealous in an attempt to get back together with ex. This is a common recommendation because it's assumed that men will want what other men have. The problem is that by playing games now, Kristi would be jeopardizing her relationship in the future. And, there's a strong likelihood that Thad would just be angry at Kristi and push her even further away.

Another choice Kristi considered was just ignoring him completely. In some ways, because she was so hurt by Thad’s rejection, she wanted to punish him in turn.

But, if she's open and receptive but not pushy when they meet one another in social situations that are not contrived, she shows him what a fantastic woman and fantastic human being she is. She becomes somebody that he wants to spend time with. She has allowed him to see her at her best.

Kristi has a number of choices if she wants to get back together with ex. But, her best choice is merely to listen to Thad. He has said he needs space. So, she should give it to him. She should let him have the chance to decide whether to get back together.

My guess is that Thad will come back to Kristi and he will be ready to take the relationship to the next level. If Kristi plays her cards right, she will have a stronger relationship overall.

That’s how to get ex back in a healthy way.

How To Win Ex Back Battle For Her Heart

Do you know how to win ex back? When a woman has left a man, she in all likelihood has a good reason, at the least in her own mind. Thus, you have to be prepared to struggle for her heart if you would like to win ex back.

A relationship has a beginning, a middle and an end. The question is whether you're in the middle and just taking a hiatus or whether it's truly over and you're at the end.

If your girlfriend wants to begin the relationship anew, you need to be able to work things out on a fresh start. You should plan out your steps ahead of time if you want the new relationship to work out better than the old one did.

Firstly, consider why you broke up. Were there underlying problems that plagued your relationship? If so, how can you fix them going forward?

Second, analyze why you want your ex back. Do you just feel lonely because she is not around? If so, any woman will do. But, if you have a hole in your heart that only she will fill, that’s different.

Third, you need to become the person that she needs. Think back to what you were like when she fell in love with you. Have you changed? Did you stop doing interesting things when you devoted all of your time to her? Have you stopped going to the gym thinking that there is no reason to stay in shape now that you have snagged the girl? Become the person she wants to win ex back.

Fourth, consider that the first thing you say to your ex after a break up might be the most crucial words ever to come out of your mouth. The wrong words could change the balance of the relationship. Do not beg her to come back. Do not do anything to irritate her. She in all likelihood still harbors good feelings for you and you do not want to do anything that would change this.

Fifth, you are able to use the good memories you have built to your advantage. Talk of the good times you had. If she gave you a special sweater, wear it when you know she is going to be around. If you are able to, arrange to meet at a place that has meaning for you for a quick drink.

Sixth, try to mirror her words and body language. If she uses an rare word, try to work it into the conversation yourself. If she places her left hand on her cheek, do the same. Do not overdo it or be obvious, but this kind of “mirror imaging” gets you back in synch.

Seventh, let her know that you're thinking about her. Go out of your way to send her a card on her birthday. If you know she has a big review at work, send her an encouraging note.

By following these seven steps, you should be able to win ex back. As long as you're still on friendly terms, you are able to use your friendship to become romantic once again.

10 Steps To Ex Get Back Together

Do you miss your ex? Get back together is possible. You just have to know how to do it.

Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her. There are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up. I will try to explain them in this article about how to deal with your ex. Get back together with her using these 10 techniques.

1.) Do not be afraid to call her. While calling 10 times a day says you are desperate, phoning once or twice a week keeps you on her radar.

2.) Likewise, send her an e-mail now and again. Just saying “what’s up?” gives her the opportunity to reconnect.

3.) Do not date other girls. As long as you are yearning for her, be true to her. If you do once in a while see another girl, do not sleep with her if you ever would like to get back together with your ex. Get back together without creating a new “history” with other women.

4.) Do not forget her birthday. A birthday is a good “excuse” to get back in touch. Everybody likes to be remembered, celebrated, and even gifted on their birthday. So, treat her like a princess on this day.

5.) Analyze her. Work out what she needs in a man. Be aware of what she says and does when she talks. You need to understand your ex now more than ever before.

6.) Do not be jealous. After you have broken up, you do not have any claim on her. So, do not exhibit jealousy if she goes out with a different guy. Remember she's your ex. Get back together means that you have to understand this basic principle.

7.) Be on the lookout as to how she acts with other guys. If she stands up for you when other guys put you down, it is a good sign she is still interested in you. But, if she takes out the butcher knife and stabs you in the back, then there is not much hope of getting back into a healthy, happy relationship.

8.) Do not play games. When you’re broken up with somebody you love, it’s easy to begin the “mind games.” But, you can damage her for life with this sort of behavior. You do not want to hurt her if you want to get back together. So, just do not play mind games.

9.) Power is important. Hold your cards close to your chest. Relationships are hard. When you're together, you are able to communicate, but apart, you need to keep your feelings close to your vest. When you say “I love you” to a girl you have broken up with, you have given away all of your power and she has you in a dangerous position.

10.) Be desirable. During the break up, stay in shape or get back into shape. Expand your interests. In short, be the boyfriend she wants. You already have a history. If you're even more alluring this time around, she is sure to want you back.

It's possible to reconcile with your ex. Get back together using the advice in this article.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

How To Win Love Back Fight Your Instincts

How to win love back is hard because it goes against every instinct that we have. For example, when a woman walks away from a man, it's in his nature to chase her down and recapture her.

Men love the chase. They love to be on the hunt. But, when a woman has walked away, she needs space, not a chase.

As difficult as it is for men to recognize this, it's sometimes the only way to win love back.

That means that when a woman leaves you, be really careful about what the next actions you take are because they may be important in whether you get her back or not.

For example, do not call, e-mail, or text the woman. Let her contact you first.

Women always need to talk. She will not be satisfied until she's had a chance to bring closure to the relationship. But, let her initiate this call. By waiting for her to make the call, you've let her know that you're not desperate for her. This gives you the upper hand.

Now, you might be wondering if this will show her that you do not care. But, the opposite is true. How to win love back begins with a recognition that occasionally women really do need space to work out what is going on in the relationship.

Occasionally women need to make a “grand gesture” to illustrate their independence. This could take the form of walking out or saying “I never want to see you again.”

But, if she's in love with you, she does not truly mean this. What she is actually saying is “let me have some time to process what just went on.”

If you have done something to hurt her, you need to be apologetic when she calls you. You need to show that you're ready to make a change and that you value both her and the relationship. But you need to give her the space she needs to process the hurt.

However, occasionally women make these “grand gestures” merely to get attention. If you have got a game player on your hands, you need to take charge right now and let her know that you're not going to put up with her antics. One way you do this is to not play the game. And that means not to chase her every time she departs.

There are a lot of reasons that women walk away from you and tell you that they never want to see you again. Some of the times they're hurt and some of the times they're just trying to be manipulative. In either case, you do not want to be the first one to call since that puts you in the position of being desperate.

Rather, let her call you. That way, you have some control over how the call goes. Be sympathetic to her needs, but do not put up with any bull. That’s how to win love back.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How To Win Ex Girlfriend Back Let Her Make The First Move

Do you know how to win ex girlfriend back? Let’s look at the situation with Tom and Sheri.

Shari was busy one night and Tom attended a party alone. It was dumb, but he began to make out with one of Shari’s acquaintances there. Shari, naturally, heard about it and had a dramatic confrontation with Tom.

“I never want to see you again,” she said. “I'm so out of here.”

Tom’s destroyed. He knows he was wrong, but he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back. He misses Shari.

The first thing Tom needs to do is sincerely apologize. This isn't just a quietly mumbled “I am sorry” either. He needs to realize what he did wrong, figure out why he did it, decide whether he will ever do it over again, and most especially, communicate all of this honestly to Shari.

At this point, Tom should stop. The ball is now in Shari’s court.

Tom should not call Shari. He should not e-mail, text, or comment on her wall. He should not send flowers or candy.

What he should do is let her make the next move. She is 100 % in control here. If Tom goes out to score, he is going to lose her. If he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back, he needs to be planning for the next step not focusing on the present.

At some point, Shari will initiate contact. There are more pretexts for doing this. For example, she might be mad and want to exchange all personal property. Or, she may be missing him and just want to talk.

At this point, Tom needs to make his move. He needs to show her that he is the one.

He should put the incident behind him. Tom should only bring up what happened if she does first.

Otherwise, he should discuss the positive memories that they have had together. He should bring up specific incidents that were special for the two of them.

For instance, he may say, “I was walking around downtown and I saw the restaurant we went to on our first date and I thought of you.”

If he keeps it casual, he could talk about missing her. “I miss the way you laugh at my corny jokes,” is a great line. Telling her that he can not imagine life without her is a bad one.

If she is receptive, and she in all likelihood will be (why else is she calling?) Tom should suggest a casual get together. For example, he should ask her to meet him for coffee or something similar. A half hour mini-date may get things back on track for them.

If he plays it right, he will have found the right solution to the how to win ex girlfriend back dilemma.