Friday, September 30, 2011

Relationship Advice

If you want to be happy in your relationship, let me give you a little relationship advice. C-0-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E with each other about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. If an issue comes up tackle it immediately. Every relationship will have issues, no one is perfect and that includes the two of you.

You will hit a rough patch sooner or later. It does not matter what the rough patch is all about, just know that there will be one. Hitting a rough spot does not mean that the relationship has to be over, in fact, hitting a rough spot and making it through will make your relationship stronger and more able to handle the next rough patch that comes along.

Trusting your spouse is very important. It can keep you both secure in how you handle the relationship. Some people trust just as a matter of course and take it away only if something happens for them to feel like they can no longer trust. Some make you earn the trust they put in you and are completely devastated if that trust is broken.

Some also feel that it is trust, not love, that will make or break a relationship. If trust is not there or has been betrayed then it may take quite a bit of groveling to get it back, if you ever do. Some important relationship advice, be so ready to kiss some serious booty if you are the betrayer. You have your work cut out for you.

You are in love, no one is disputing that, but in all seriousness doesn't it do you some good every now and again to just get the heck away from each other? It should. Go out separately with friends or spend the day with family. Give each other a break and just go your own separate ways like one day a week. You will be healthier for it and will also come back with stories to tell about how your day went. You both will appreciate the other that much more because of this.

When conflict does come up, it is very important to know how to handle yourselves decently in a fight. No finger pointing, or name calling, keep the fight fair. Learn how to compromise. If there is mutual respect in the relationship all of this will be very easy to maintain. Respect will lead to negotiation which, in turn, will lead to a compromise that the both of you can live with.

Being able to compromise in any given situation lets you both have your say and lets you both see that your opinion matters. When what you have to say matters then no one can ever have the upper hand and the two of you can truly call yourselves partners.

Following good relationship advice and dealing with the issues as they surface will help the two of you feel so much more secure in your relationship and the stronger and more secure you are the longer the relationship will last. With just a little work, your relationship can be one of the best around.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Love Relationship Advice

You met someone and you think they might be the one you have been looking for your whole life. Now you need some love relationship advice to make sure you don't blow it. There are many things you can do to ensure that your relationship doesn't go by the wayside. Loving someone is not easy but with a little mutual respect and trust you can make it easier on both of you. Love is also not as hard as some make it out to be. You just have to leave all the baggage at the door and deal effectively with anything new that comes along.

Love can be an amazing thing. One minute you feel euphoric and the next scared to death. Eating and sleeping go right out the window. Then the exhilaration of the whole thing comes rushing back and you smile all the time. The love relationship advice you are looking for can help you sort out all the different emotions coming at you and make everything easier to deal with.

When starting a new love relationship you need to be confident in yourself and the fact that you can and will be the perfect partner to your new interest. I do not mean that you have to change and be someone you are not but just have the confidence to stay who you are through the whole thing.

You need to learn from past mistakes and then let them go. Do not let them get in the way of new experiences, especially a new love interest. Treat this new love as if it were your first love. Do everything you can to keep the romance alive. Try your best to not bring old baggage to this new relationship. You want this new relationship to work out for the best not crash and burn after just a few months, right?

Do not try to be perfect in every way, that can be exhausting. Just be yourself all the time. Also, do not expect your new love to be perfect either. Start out by communicating effectively and then when there is a problem you two can sit down and talk it out like the adults that you are and not behave like children.

It shows a great amount of maturity to love someone unconditionally when the chips are down than when everything is going great. It also shows the strength of the bond the two of you have created together. If one of you runs and hides when a problem arises then your relationship will suffer and may not last altogether.

Love is a choice as is happiness, continuing to love one another during trying times will make you stronger and bring you closer together. Happiness and security comes from mutual trust and respect in a relationship. Choose to be happy and secure in your relationship then do all you can to protect and preserve that relationship. Take this love relationship advice to heart because, as they say, love is what makes the world go 'round.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Get Over Love

Being in a loving relationship is one of the best experiences you will ever have. When things are going good, you feel great, but when they come to an end there is nothing but heartache. Still, you at some point you are going to have to move beyond it and get over love. The love you used to have is gone and you need to find a way to accept it so you can start living your life again.

Before we start getting into some of the steps you can take to get over love, it's important to point out that it won't always be easy.

Your first course of action should be figuring out whether or not things are truly over between the two of you. Just because you have had a heated argument and aren't together right now, doesn't mean that you can't work things out. Perhaps you drove each other crazy, or hurt each other's feelings, but all of those things can be fixed. The catch is that you both have to want to work things out, and be willing to do whatever it takes.

Of course, getting back together is a valid way to get over a lost love, because you are effectively finding them again. Remember, you can't change the other person so they either need to be ready to change, or you need to be able to live with their lack of change. Saying you're sorry and forgiving them for anything they did wrong will go a long way toward patching things up. If there is no possibility of getting back together, then the following advice should help.

For the time being, you should do your best to remove any traces of your ex from your life. Things like love letters and photographs are obvious, but there are things that are less obvious, such as any items the two of you purchased together. You do not have to throw these things away or destroy them, just get them out of sight for a while. The fewer reminders you have of your lost love, the better.

You will also need to tie up any loose ends. For example, if the two of you had a joint bank account then you need to freeze or close it as soon as possible. Once that's done, you can divide the money up fairly. There may also be various items that you have to sort out. Do your best to remain logical and respectful during this process. If it gets to be too much for either of you then try again in a few days if at all possible.

Now comes the fun part...rediscovering yourself for who you really are. It is really easy to change when you're in a relationship. Not all changes are bad, but they are still changes. This may sound silly to some people, but the best way to get over love is to fall in love with who you really are. After all, nobody would deny that having positive self-esteem is much more enjoyable than wallowing in self-pity.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

How To Be A Confident Girlfriend

There is a common belief that men and women are equal. Unfortunately, that isn't the truth, at least not in the real world. Now, it's true that they are of equal worth, but society as a whole has not caught up to that belief. There are still men who think women should be weak, and that can take its toll on any relationship. Maybe that's why so many women want to know how to be a confident girlfriend. The good news, as you will see, is that it can be done.

You have to be a confident person before you can be a confident girlfriend. A large portion of confidence is knowing who you are and being happy with who you are. If you fall short in either of these areas then you will not be very confident. So, take some time to get to know yourself. If you don't like who you are, then do what you can to improve it. If there are deep-seated issues, then you may wish to see a counselor to help you get beyond whatever it is that's preventing you from accepting yourself for who you are.

Once you are confident and comfortable with who you are, it's time to work on being a more confident girlfriend. This may come as a surprise, but most men actually prefer women who are confident. They simply don't have the time for all of the neediness and drama that seems to follow insecure women. So, you can stop acting unconfident and weak right now, especially if you have only been doing it in the hopes that it would make your boyfriend love you more.

Having the right attitude is also a key factor to being confident in a relationship. Too many women are afraid that their boyfriend will suddenly find someone else and leave them by the curb. Here's the thing...it doesn't matter. You need to know this: if he dumps you, that's okay. Think about it, why would you want to be with a man who doesn't love you, or doesn't love you for who you are? Of course you may feel heartbroken, but when one door closes all other doors are open for you. There are a lot of guys out there that will accept you for you. Just knowing this fact can help you to be more confident in your current relationship because you will no longer be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

Maybe the simplest way to answer the question of how to be a confident girlfriend is to just do it. You owe it to yourself, and you owe to your boyfriend if you really love him. All it takes is accepting yourself for who you are, understanding that he wants you to be confident, and that there is always going to be somebody out there who cares about you.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend

In a perfect world there would be things like true love at first sight and soulmates. All love would last for a lifetime, and nobody would ever be unfaithful. Love and trust would go hand in hand. But we don't live in a perfect world, and that means things sometimes go wrong. Just the thought of your boyfriend being unfaithful can be enough to drive you nuts. Luckily there are some signs of a cheating boyfriend that you can use to help figure out if he's being faithful or not.

Before we get to the signs, it's important to point out that they are not proof. Any of them could be signs of something else; such as stress or depression. However, the presence of any of these signs should be taken as a cue that something could be wrong. You also need to be careful that you're not misreading the signs due to your own insecurity in your relationship. This is often the case if you have been cheated on (or have cheated yourself) in the past. Do your best to remain objective when looking for these signs of a cheating boyfriend.

Working late - It may seem like this is one of those classic signs, but it's a classic for a reason. A lot of guys will say they are working late so they can meet up with another woman. Of course you shouldn't jump to conclusions, either. If your boyfriend is paid hourly, then you should see an increase in his income if he's really working late. Ask him a few questions about work, then pay attention to his answers.

Avoidance - If he used to look forward to seeing you, but now he seems distant or like he's trying to avoid you, then that could be a sign. Maybe he's afraid of commitment, maybe something else is going on, or maybe he's cheating and is afraid of getting caught.

Change in appearance or spending more time on his appearance - Some guys already spend a lot of time on their appearance, others don't. What you really want to look for are changes. If he used to spend 5 minutes getting ready and now he spends 45 minutes, then that's a potential sign. Also, if he suddenly changes his style of clothing, it could be because someone else is dressing him.

Knowledge of past indiscretions - While you can't convict your boyfriend based on his past, it certainly can make you leery of what he's doing now. So, if he cheated in the past, it could be one of the signs of a cheating boyfriend. At the very least, you know he has that potential. However, always remember that people can and do change, so don't make assumptions one way or the other.

Odd phone calls, text messages or e-mails - This is not meant to give you permission to go snooping through his private conversations. However, if you are getting odd messages from people you don't recognize, then that's also a potential red flag.

You know your boyfriend best, so use these signs of a cheating boyfriend as a guideline. They aren't enough to prove anything, but they can help you to dig a bit deeper if you have to.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

How To Be Nice To Your Girlfriend

As guys we sometimes get a bit confused as to treat our girlfriends. Maybe it's because we are different in so many ways, generally speaking. Sometimes we try, but they seem to take things the wrong way, despite our best intentions. All you want to know is how to be nice to your girlfriend. You love her and want her to know how you feel in both words and actions.

Not taking her for granted is a good start. This isn't meant to sound harsh but it's true: she is not obligated to stay with you. She has every right to leave you, and could do so at any moment. Now, that doesn't mean you should be constantly worried, or let that though make you jealous, but it does mean that you should value her and make no assumptions.

Even if you're not taking her for granted, you may still be wondering how to be nice to your girlfriend in a way that she will appreciate. Before you can do that, you have to know what things she likes. You also need to know what type of affection she responds best to. For example, you may think saying "I love you" is all it takes to let your feelings be known. But maybe she was raised in a home where affection was shown through physical touch, such as a pat on the back or a shoulder massage. Knowing this will help you in your efforts to be nice. In this case, a foot rub after she has had a hard day will go much further than telling her how much you love her.

There are also some basic things you can do, no matter how she likes to be shown affection. Treating her with respect is always the right thing to do. Even if you are arguing, you should still treat her with respect. She is a person, and deserves to be treated with common decency. Don't treat her like an inferior, don't talk down to her, and don't treat her like she's stupid.

This is also a perfect time to remember the Golden Rule. In other words, ask yourself how you would like her to treat you. Or, how would you feel if she started saying and doing to you what you say and do to her? Would you be okay with that, or would it rub you the wrong way? If you wouldn't like it, then that's a strong sign that you need to change.

One of the big problems is that you may think that you are being nice, but your girlfriend doesn't think so. When this happens you will need to talk to each other to find out what's going wrong. You're trying to be a good guy, and she wants you to be a good guy, and a little communication can go a long way. How to be nice to your girlfriend really is as simple as that.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Never Cheat On Your Crazy Boyfriend

There are all kinds of people in this world, and that's what makes life interesting. The down side is that you sometimes run into to people who are somewhat off balance. If your boyfriend fits that description, then there's a good chance that your girlfriends are telling you to cheat on him, to play the field. But a good rule of thumb is to never cheat on your crazy boyfriend.

Let's be honest, cheating and being a "player" is more acceptable in today's society, but that doesn't make it right. Some people will argue that it's okay to cheat on your boyfriend if he's emotionally unstable. The way those people justify it is by saying that he somehow deserves to be cheated on because of his behavior. Wrong!

The problem with the idea of justified cheating is that it tries to fix a wrong by doing wrong. The saying "two wrongs don't make a right" applies here. When you started going out with him, you made a promise to not be unfaithful. Perhaps you never talked about it, but that promise is always assumed in this kind of a relationship. Keeping your word and remaining true are important character traits.

Now, it may be true that your boyfriend is indeed crazy (however you define that term), or isn't a nice guy, but as long as the two if you are going out, it's up to you to be faithful. Your girlfriends probably just want you to see somebody else, which is why they are encouraging you to cheat on him. Here's what they don't realize: cheating on him will only lead to bad things.

Let's look at the two possibilities and what the likely result is:

1. He will find out. Chances are quite high that he will find out about you cheating on him. How will he react? What are the real odds that he will just shrug it off and be on his merry way? If you already think he's "crazy" then cheating on him isn't going to help the situation in any way.

2. He won't find out. Even if he never finds out, you will always know that you cheated on him. It may feel good or exciting at the time, but then guilt and low self-esteem will set in.

So, what can you do if you don't want to be with him anymore? The main thing is to not let him scare you into staying with him. That is a form of abuse, and you should get away from him as soon as possible. If he's not forcing you to stay, but you want to go your separate ways, then you will have to break up with him. In fact, you can do just about anything you want to, as long as you never cheat on your crazy boyfriend.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Skills To Get A Boyfriend

The desire to be with someone is deeply engrained in us. Some may say it is what makes us human and others say it is an evolutionary trait. Regardless of what the reason is, it is a driving desire. If you are a female who has been alone for too long, then learning some skills to get a boyfriend makes a lot of sense.

Before you start learning these skills, you have to ask why you want a boyfriend in the first place. The reason this is important is that it can have an impact on how you go about getting a boyfriend. Let's put it this way: The criteria you would use for finding the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with will be different than the criteria you use to find some guy to have a fling with. Now, that doesn't mean you should lower your standards just to satisfy an urge, but it does mean that you can be less choosy if you are not looking for a lifelong relationship at this time.

The good news is that there are a few basic skills to get a boyfriend, whether for the short term or the long term.

1. Be yourself. This cannot be stressed enough. It's so easy for us to think we know what a certain guy is looking for. Then, without giving it much thought, we start saying and doing the things we think the guy will like. In reality, this is a no-win situation. There is always a chance that he will see right through what you're doing, and won't appreciate the phoniness. He may not see through it, but you may be guessing wrong as to what he wants.

Then again, he may fall for you completely. So what happens if the two of you hit it off and it turns into a more serious relationship? You would have to keep living the lie, and that simply is not possible. You will either be totally stressed out, or he will find out.

So, be yourself, and let him decide if you're right for him. If not, that's okay; there are a lot of guys out there who will like you for who you really are.

2. Learn to listen. Let's face it, some guys don't like to do a lot of talking, however, that doesn't mean you should fill the space with mindless chatter. Instead, learn how to get him to open up by being a good listener. The other benefit of doing this is that it will give you a better idea of who he really is.

3. Don't come on too strong. This is one of the most important skills to get a boyfriend, especially if you haven't been with a guy for quite some time. You may feel desperate on the inside, but don't let it show on the outside. Just relax, listen and be yourself and you will be well on your way to landing a new boyfriend.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why Women Leave Men

If you are a man and worried that the special woman in your life is going to leave you, then you want to read the following information. The question of why women leave men goes back to the dawn of relationships. A lot of guys think they have the answer, but you may be surprised.

The longer a relationship lasts, the more time there is for little things to pile up. A casual remark here, a hurt feeling there, or the occasional funny look all have their way of accumulating. Your girlfriend or wife may not even comment on any of these things when they happen, but you can be sure that they are remembering them. It's like a bank account that keeps a running tally.

Every time you do something to offend her or hurt her feelings, it's like a debit to her account; doing something she likes counts as a credit. The problem is that it takes several credits to weaken a debit, but it's nearly impossible to wipe out all of the debits. The best you can hope for is to keep making enough deposits for her to not bring up the debits.

That alone can be a problem, but that's not the only reason why women leave men. The other main cause is that men don't understand women. We think we know what they want, but that thinking is often faulty and only leads to more problems. Most men are taught that women are emotionally needy and must have a man around to take care of her. There is nothing wrong with wanting to support your family, but you need to be careful that you don't treat your girlfriend or wife as though she were dependent on you.

Roles are a major factor in any relationship. You need to realize that she is your partner. She is not an object or your mother. Again, there is nothing wrong with taking care of each other, but you need to make sure that you aren't crossing the line into other roles. You also have to be careful that you're not taking her for granted.

There is one more thing that you can do to help prevent her from leaving you. What is it? Communication. Well, to be more precise: effective communication. When you think about it, even an argument is a form of communication, it's just that it's negative. You need to learn how to communicate with your wife or girlfriend, and the best way to start is to learn how to listen. This is often difficult for guys to do, but you have to learn how if you really love her and want her to stay.

It should be noted that all of these things are generalizations. All women are different, and that uniqueness should be celebrated. It can be tricky trying to do things right, but as long as you're doing it for the right reasons; it will happen. Keep working at being a better man for her and then you won't have to worry about why women leave men.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Serious Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

All relationships go through many stages, but it's not a good idea to rush into them. This is especially true if your boyfriend and you are thinking of moving on to the next level. The "next level" could refer to moving in together, an engagement, or any other serious step forward. Before you do any of these things, there are some serious questions to ask your boyfriend first.

There are a lot of things that should be discussed at some point, and they become even more important as the two of you get more serious about each other. While the idea that "opposites attract" is popular, the truth is that the more a couple has in common, the more likely they are to stay together. But the only way to find out how he feels about the bigger issues is to ask him. With that in mind, here are some topics for serious questions to ask your boyfriend.

1. What are each of your roles within the relationship? This is an excellent question to ask as it can reveal how each of you were brought up, how you see things now, and what your future may be like. Just the idea of "roles" is repulsive to some people, while others think they should be well-defined. That doesn't mean they are right or wrong, but it is better to know how he feels about things in this regard. You won't agree on everything, and when this happens you need to decide if you will be able to get past the differences.

2. How will you handle money? It is often said that disagreements about money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Whether that's true or not, it's a good idea to work this out sooner rather than later. Will you pool all of your money and pay bills and buy things with it? Will you pool some of your money? None of it? Who will pay bills? Will you have separate bank accounts? Are either of you in debt now? These are only a few of the money-related questions you should ask before you get too deep into your relationship.

3. Will you have children? You may not have to ask this question in the earliest stages of the relationship, but it is something that will eventually need to be discussed. If you both want kids, are you both able to have them? Is adoption an option? How many children do you want? How soon do you want them?

This list isn't meant to cover everything you should talk about, but it does cover the bigger issues, and can open the door for a deeper discussion. These serious questions to ask your boyfriend may not always be the easiest to discuss, but they are vital if you want the relationship to move forward.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Why Is My Boyfriend Acting The Way He Is

People change. That's a rather simple statement, but there can also be a lot of depth hidden in those two words. If you are in a relationship, then you are well-aware of how appropriate this saying can be. However, if your boyfriend has been acting really strange lately, has been trying to avoid you, or is treating you poorly, then you are probably asking yourself "why is my boyfriend acting the way he his?"

If it's any comfort, you should know that a lot of women have asked themselves that exact same question over the years. To be honest, there is a chance that you will never find out the real reason, and that's okay. On the other hand, you are probably worried it could be for any number of reasons, and none of the reasons you are imaging are good.

The first thing you need to consider is that your boyfriend isn't acting differently at all. In other words, the only thing that has really changed is you. Either something else in your life has changed, or you are only now becoming aware of how your boyfriend is acting...even though he may have been acting this way the entire time. Your gut reaction will be that this isn't possible, but take a step back and try to look at things objectively.

Let's assume that your boyfriend really is acting differently. What you need to do is clear your mind of any preconceived ideas for the causes of his behavior. No matter what you think the reason is, there is a strong chance that you are mistaken. Also, if you have a preconceived idea of why he's acting a certain way, then that can lead to false accusations.

Generally speaking, men don't like to talk about things; they are taught to be tough and not show any signs of weakness. For example, your boyfriend may be worried about losing his job, but he won't want to tell you that he's worried because that would be a sign of weakness. However, he could be expressing that stress in other ways, such as having a bad temper. You see the bad temper and ask why is my boyfriend acting this way.

Your mind starts racing and you may even try to think of what you could have done to make him mad. But the truth is that you haven't done anything; it's his job that's the source of the problem. Things will only get better when you get to the root of the problem.

That means you are going to have to get him to open up about what's really bothering him. Under no circumstances should you start the conversation by saying the four words men dread most: "we need to talk." Just tart a natural conversation in a calm and welcoming way. A good way to do this is to ask a few non-threatening, non-accusatory questions. Once he opens up you will have the answer to your question, "why is my boyfriend acting the way he is?"

Saturday, September 17, 2011

How to Be a Challenge to Your Girlfriend

Every relationship will have its ups and downs; that's just the way it is. There will be times when the two of you are excited to be around one another, but there will also be times when you feel bored. Boredom wouldn't be that big of deal, except that it can lead to breaking up. So, it makes sense that you can stay together if you can learn how to be a challenge to your girlfriend.

There are many ways that you can do this, but let's talk about the concept of being a challenge. We are not talking about being difficult or being a jerk just to get your girlfriend to respond. A lot of guys think they be a real "challenge" by being mean or confrontational. While there is no question that such behavior will make dealing with you a challenge, that's not what we're referring to in this article.

Instead, we are talking about being a challenge to your girlfriend in ways that keep things more interesting. Remember, you are trying to prevent things from getting so boring that she will seek excitement elsewhere.

Of course that raises the question of what counts as boring. There is no direct answer that will apply to everybody. You know your girlfriend better than anyone else, so think about the kinds of things she will respond to. For example, if she's a thrill seeker, then a trip to a quiet art museum may not be the best way to rekindle a spark of excitement in your relationship. On the other hand, if she likes quiet things then skydiving probably isn't a good choice.

You will notice that we are only speaking in generalities here. See, even the thrill seeker may enjoy a trip to the museum from time to time. To put it another way, you need to be careful to not get into a rut. And if you are already in a rut, you must do what you can to get out of it.

How to be a challenge to your girlfriend doesn't involve being phony. You still need to be yourself, otherwise things will backfire. So, no matter what you do to, be sure that you are always staying true to yourself. If you try too hard, it may only confuse her, and she may start wondering what's wrong.

There is a common myth that playing "hard to get" is a good way to challenge a girlfriend. It is true that it can work, but it's also true that it is a tactic that is very difficult to pull off. The odds are stacked heavily against this technique, so it's best to avoid it completely.

Think about the things she wants, then give them to her with a bit of a twist. You want her to enjoy herself, but you don't want to be predictable. How to be a challenge to your girlfriend really isn't difficult, but it does take a bit of time and knowing something about who your girlfriend is.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Making The Most Of A Bad Break Up

It is an awful feeling when your relationship ends so how do you deal with a bad break up? You shouldn't just go on with life and pretend that everything is ok. It's not healthy to deny what you are feeling and keep those feelings bottled up. It is fine to let yourself feel the hurt, in fact it is necessary for you to move on with your life.

You should handle your feelings in a healthy way. If you are feeling anger, it is not a good idea to go and threaten or hurt your ex because of your anger. There are better ways to handle your feelings.

It will take time to get over your ex and for the feelings of hurt and anger to go away. You will be able to move on faster if you use the time constructively and use it as a learning experience in relationship skills. This will be a much healthier way for you to deal with the bad break up and will also benefit you in future relationships.

Take a few days to feel your pain, but do put a time limit on it. You don't want to fall into a depression because you can't get over the hurt and pain that you are feeling. You will feel anger at some point and there are some ways to let that anger out without hurting anyone.

If you are really angry with your ex then take a picture of them and put it on the wall. Buy some marshmallows and use the marshmallows as darts to throw at the picture. Throw the marshmallows as hard as you can and while you throw them yell at your ex and tell him/her exactly what you think and what you are feeling. Let it all out! It might sound silly to throw marshmallows at a picture but it really is a great way to get out your anger and frustrations. You may even find yourself laughing and much happier when you have finished.

If you find yourself laughing after the marshmallow challenge then you know that your troubles aren't that bad and you will get past them. You will realize that you will survive and that you can handle what you are going through. Breaking up is not the end of the world, but a new beginning. If the relationship has broken up then chances are you just aren't meant to be together and now you can move on and find the real love of your life.

Don't rush out and start dating straight away though or you may find yourself in another bad relationship because it is a rebound relationship. Take some time to enjoy life being single and enjoy who you are for yourself and not for someone else. You will be much stronger now that you have used this bad break up as a learning experience and have improved your own self esteem and confidence. Your future relationships will be much stronger and happier.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

How To Get Over Someone When A Relationship Ends

It is difficult to know how to get over someone when a relationship ends. Break ups can leave you feeling devastated and unsure of what the future holds.

After a break up some people will cry, scream and be completely and utterly miserable. They might even vow to hate the opposite sex forever and vow never again to fall in life. Other people will handle a break up more effectively and after a brief mourning period will get on with their life.

Either way there will be feelings of hurt and anger to begin with. If you choose to move on and get on with your life you need to learn how to be single again and how to be happy on your own. It will take some time to get over your ex but it will happen.

You do need to go through hurting stage before you can move on so take a day or two to cry and feel bad. As much as it isn't nice to feel this way it has to happen. Just make sure that the hurting stage doesn't go on for too long as the longer you cry and hurt the longer it will take to pull yourself out of this stage and move on.

When you have spent a day or two in the hurting stage, you should then start to clear away anything that reminds you of your ex. Clothes, photos, cards, jewelry or anything you have that reminds you of your ex must be either give back to your ex, thrown away or stored away.

Once you have finished getting rid of all the reminders you need to get out of the house. Call a friend and go meet them for lunch or a coffee. Go shopping and buy yourself something new or just go for a walk in the park.

You should keep away from your ex for a while. Don't call them or text to them even as a friend, this will just drag out the healing process. If this relationship is truly over then there is no point dragging things on so adopt a complete zero contact policy.

Try to find things to do to keep your mind off the past. Join a gym, take up a new sport, try your hand at a new hobby or get a great book to love yourself in. While you are alone, this is your chance to do the things that you love and not have to worry about what your partner thinks. This is YOU time! Make the most of this time to live life and enjoy doing the things that you love to do.

When you are enjoying yourself on your own you will soon love life and be happy again. You will become optimistic about your future. You shouldn't just rush out and find someone else to date; a rebound relationship is not a good idea. It is best to move on and be happy on your own and then when the time is right you will meet someone new and you will be in the right frame of mind to begin a new relationship.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Simple Tips On How To Deal With A Break Up

Are you still in pain following a relationship break up? This article will share with you some helpful tips on how to deal with a break up and move on with your life. During this painful time you aren't always thinking straight and may do or say something you regret later. These tips will help you through the healing process and avoid doing anything that you are going to later regret.

The first feeling following a break up is one of hurt and you should take the time that you need to feel this hurt. You may want a few days where you just stay home, do nothing and see nobody. You might not feel like cleaning the house or visiting friends and that's fine. This is your time and you need the time to process everything that has happened. There are some things you won't be able to avoid; you shouldn't avoid going to work if it will risk your job. Do the things that must be done, but anything else can wait.

This hurting period shouldn't last too long though or you could find yourself becoming depressed and that can be really difficult to pull yourself out of. Allow yourself a few days to feel hurt and then get up and get moving again. You still might not be over your ex, but you need to move onto the next stage. You need to continue with your life while you continue the healing process.

Now that you have had some down time you need to start taking care of yourself. You need to start eating a healthy diet again and start exercising. Even if you didn't eat all that healthy or exercise before, starting now is a good way to help you through this healing process. You may feel like doing the opposite and going out and drinking and sleeping around, but although this might bring you some short term relief, it will make you feel worse long term. Getting your life on track with a healthy diet, exercise and enough sleep will be much better for you long term.

Now you need to accept that the relationship is over. You need to think about what the relationship was really like and what troubles you had. Obviously the relationship had issues or you would still be together. Maybe the two of you really aren't that good together or perhaps one party cheated on the other. Whatever the reason for the break up, there was a reason. The relationship is over and it's time to accept that and move on. You should avoid your ex for a while at least as if you see them you are just being reminded of what you lost. You should avoid them completely until you are over them and feeling much stronger emotionally.

Lastly, remember that healing takes time. Don't expect to be over your ex immediately, it will take time. Try to move on with your life and go out and do things that you enjoy and before you know it you will find yourself having fun and having a smile on your face. Even though you are feeling bad now, you will soon be happy again and moving on to a better future. How you deal with a break up really does make a difference to how well you do in your future.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Do You Need Break Up Help

If you think that your relationship is about to break up help is there to give you advice on how to handle a break up in the best way. You don't want to break up with someone through a text message or even over the phone. You also don't want to break up with someone in a public place or when you are with friends. This person is someone that you have cared about so show them a bit of respect and break up with them in an appropriate way.

If you are in a situation where you have a violent partner and the news of a break up may send them into a violent rage, then it would be acceptable to break up with them over the phone or in a public place.

When breaking up with someone try to be honest as they deserve to know the truth. However, if you have met someone else and that is why you are breaking up with them, you don't need to share that with them. Break ups are painful and you don't need to cause them any more pain than they will already feel. If you are seeing someone else, try to keep it quiet for a while so it isn't obvious that you were seeing them prior to breaking up.

Don't just rush into a break up; think about what you are going to say beforehand. Even if you are sure this is what you want, you will probably still feel a little nervous. Don't let your partner talk you out of breaking up if you are sure that this is what is best for you. If you think about what you are going to say and be prepared then it will be easier to be confident and stand your ground.

When you have broken up you need to give them space. Don't start calling them to see how they are, even if you still care about them and are concerned about them. Calling them will only give them false hope that you may be able to reconcile. Even when you are doing the breaking up you will still feel some sadness and a sense of loss, which is to be expected. You may need to change some of the habits you had and do things differently so you can move on.

If you are not seeing anyone else, then you should try being single for a little while and be happy on your own. You will be more successful in a relationship if you are a happy person on your own. You need to adjust to life without your partner and you don't want to rush into another relationship on the rebound.

It's tough breaking up with someone regardless of whether you are doing the breaking up or not. Unless the relationship was really bad and you hate your ex, you will feel some sadness at the end of a relationship. Follow the tips above to give you the break up help that can keep your split respectful and amicable which is the best outcome for both partners.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Stop Unwanted Divorce

If you have been through it, divorce can feel as final as someone close to you dying even if you were the one who initiated it. If you were not the one to initiated it and it was all of a sudden handed to you on your doorstep, there are ways to stop unwanted divorce. You will have to muster up all the patience along with some determination you have ever mustered up before in your life because this will probably take some time.

First, do some soul searching and try to figure out what your specific role is in the failing relationship. This will be one of the most difficult things for you to do especially if you were blindsided by receiving the divorce papers. It has to be done so take this first step to stop unwanted divorce before there are anymore arguments and the blame game gets rolling. The more you figure out about yourself and your strengths and weaknesses then the easier time you will have trying to fight this.

Next, go talk to a professional. That's what they are there for. There will be no judgments or stigmas for trying to help yourself so make this a priority. It doesn't even necessarily have to be a marriage counselor either, right away. It can be your pastor or even a grief counselor. Stay away from family or friends who might have their own opinions and try to project them on to you. This may not be what you need to be hearing right now. You need to concentrate on resolving your current problems not something interjected by family or friends.

Remain upbeat and hopeful. Do not give up, even if things look bleak. Even in the worst of marriages there always still is hope that things can turn around and this is where that patience we talked about comes into play. Be patient and understanding any time you talk to your spouse. Agree with them when they start to tell you what they are feeling. This is the best thing you can do to get to the real reason they want out of the relationship.

Agreeing with them will show them you may still have some merit and that maybe they are making a mistake by divorcing you. Showing them this side of you may be very new to them and they may even ask you where it came from. You can always say that it was always there and this was just the thing that pulled it out of you. You might just make them fall in love with you all over again.

Keeping them confused and continuing to show your love and devotion to them may just make them change their minds and want to make the relationship work. And wouldn't it be so cool if you could say from now on that it was you who saved your marriage from divorce. Stop an unwanted divorce by following these suggestions and remaining calm, cool, and collected.


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Stop Your Divorce Reviews

Stop your divorce reviews refers to several sites online that review books on this topic. At these specialized sites you can find reviews on books on divorce all in one place. Basically one stop shopping. Make sure though that the sites you choose to get your reviews are not slanted in one direction or the other and offer you the best divorce review books out there.

The stop your divorce reviews sites you find should tell you that the books they review are not biased in any way and that they will guide you toward the books that will truly help your situation. It wouldn't hurt either if they offered a money back guarantees on the books they sell. You need to be able to trust the information your are getting in this trying time and not have to deal with someone else's BS.

All you need are the right tools to assist you. The wrong tools will only make things worse in the long run. If you needed a screwdriver to tighten a loose screw you would not try to use a saw would you? Nope, I didn't think so. Find the right tools and you should be well on your way to fixing what is broken.

The books you find should be chock full of great ideas and should also be easy to understand with tips that are easy to follow. Sometimes you find material written by experts that you can't make heads nor tails out of because they are full of technical terms and big words that you just do not get.

The authors of these books should know their audience and speak to you like you are human and in need of simple things to do and say to try to repair your marriage not damage it further. Not everyone thinks alike and that is why these books are so popular, to help you get to thinking a different way about marriage and love.

All of the techniques they talk about and show you should be backed by real-life testimonials of the people who have been helped and the results of that help. How many marriages has this author been able to help? One, ten, one hundred, or more. They should tell you their success rate for saving marriages. If they can't then find another book. Your situation is unique and should be treated as such by everyone concerned.

The review site should have some type of rating system in place to rate the books they have on their review list. One to five stars, for example with the best book rating five star and on down from there. Now, do not think that just because a book has been rated with five stars that it is the one for you. Has your type of situation been addressed in the book? If not then you may want to go on to another stop your divorce reviews until you find what you need.

Friday, September 9, 2011

How Do I Stop My Divorce

If you are thinking to yourself,"How do I stop my divorce?" then keep reading. This article will give you some pointers on things to do that will actually work. We are going to start by telling you all the usual things that people say when someone's marriage is in trouble.

First, say you are sorry. If you are the one who messed things up to the point of divorce then man-up or woman-up and own what you did. Do not ever play the blame game. It's no one's fault or it's everyone's fault, take your pick. This is the first step in finding the answers to the how do I stop my divorce question.

Next, if you have been in touch with a lawyer then I would suggest that you contact them and cancel everything. No more meetings, no more documenting everything, no more feeling like someone is looking over your shoulder and into everything you do in your life.

When it comes to having contact with your spouse make sure you never beg them to take you back. This is hands down the wrong thing to do. Because they won't and you will just look pathetic and needy. You want to put your marriage back together you need to appear strong and capable of handling anything and everything no matter what your role was in the marriage to begin with.

So, speak with them but keep everything light and do not get into any heavy stuff, especially over the phone. Do you know what they will be doing on the other end of the line? They will be rolling their eyes and making their fingers into the shape of a gun and pretending to shoot themselves in the head because you have become way too much like work and they do not have any time for you at all any more.

You could try to ask them out for coffee or lunch, too. If they accept once again remember to keep it light. If you have taken some time to make things about you better you may have run into some information that told you that you could try some reverse psychology type stuff on your spouse.

When they make a statement, agree with them. They have to have been right at some point in the marriage so let them be again, now. If you want to reduce the level of stress in the room and at the table then try this. Whatever comes out of their mouth, agree with it. Even if they say what a jerk they think you are, agree with it.

People in a relationship just want to matter. They want to have some say in things and that their opinion is important, too. I do not care if you have to fake it till you make it, so to speak. You need to peel their negative feelings off like and onion and if you can do that then you can find the nice loving person and their feelings underneath it all. All they want is for you to want the same things that they do. Try it, see if it works to answer your, "how do I stop my divorce", question.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Stop Divorces

There are no set in stone ways to stop divorces from happening. They happen all the time and some of them for good reason. But, there are ways to minimize the stress involved with them. Divorce is difficult for both of you and decreasing tension and stress is very important to getting the whole thing settled amicably.

First, just to let the dust settle, get some distance from each other. This will let things like anger and hurt subside and maybe let you both see things objectively. For the first couple of weeks do not have any contact unless absolutely necessary. Let cooler heads prevail so the next time the two of you meet up then you can have a civilized conversation.

At this time you can tell each other you still love each other but really, in the grand scheme of things that really is a mute point. Sometimes the "I love you's" really do not mean all they should but if you want to throw one in there every now and then I guess it can't hurt.

If you do let cooler heads prevail and then want to get serious about talking about how to stop divorces devastating, hurtful effects then do so. But, do it in a quiet setting that is conducive to keeping things calm so you can both remain rational and sane about what you really want to do.

Maybe it would help to keep a tally of each others reasons, like pros and cons, for staying married or getting divorced. These things, written down in black and white will help you both see where the problems lie and maybe even how they can be fixed. Not that it is the do all, end all but without all the BS between you, you might just be able to see that it is a relatively easy fix.

After sitting down together, if things are still up in the air, it might behoove you both to agree to get some outside counseling. Do not make the mistake of running separately to family members or even mutual friends. They will feel like they are supposed to choose between you and they also will impart on you their opinions of the situation which could possibly widen the gap between you. Find an impartial professional to help you sort things out.

A good counselor will encourage communication and help you learn how to be a couple. I think that is the biggest problem among married people who end up getting divorced. They never learned to be a couple and manage their lives together. Human beings are inherently selfish and one wrong slight can set you firmly on the path of becoming even more selfish and looking out for yourself instead of what is best for you both as a couple. Honesty, communication and striving to always improve what you have is essential in keeping what you have. A marriage, like anything worth having, is a work in progress.

If you do not want your marriage to become a statistic then put all your energy into repairing it so you can stop divorces destruction.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Stop Divorce Now

One or both of you started divorce proceedings but now it's been a little while and cooler heads seem to have prevailed and you both are considering reconsidering. So after the process has started how do you stop divorce now? If you both are on the same page then you need to sit down with each other and figure out if this is the best course of action.

I am sure that your lawyers would disagree and also try their darndest to talk you out of stop divorce now but if your marriage was meant to be then nothing anyone could say would make a difference. They are just letting the lack of making a buck do their talking anyway.

Sit down and figure out what led the both of you to the decision to file for divorce in the first place. Many times it was just some misunderstanding that got way out of control and things never should have gotten as far as they did down the divorce court path as they did to begin with.

Maybe instead of rushing right out to a lawyer, the two of you should have just talked things out and maybe gotten a counselor instead of lawyers. Marriage is work and if one or both of you wasn't making the effort then things start to slack off, little things start setting off big bombs and all of a sudden you both start thinking that it is over. Not in most cases.

Counselors can help sort through all the BS so the two of you can get back to the two of you and leave all the crap behind. And if you have family members trying to "help", well, that is just a recipe for disaster and divorce. Keep family members out of your business. Tell them nothing.

Try this. Put everything bad aside for now and play the "remember when" game. Reminisce about the start of your relationship and how you talked about anything and everything under the sun. Talk about the good times and then the bad times will start to seem so petty you will probably begin to laugh at the absurdity of it all and maybe just decide to forgive and forget.

Forgiveness can go a long way to helping a relationship get back on course and get healthy again. Even if the problem was an infidelity. Yes, that's right, an infidelity. Now, I'm not saying that all marriages could survive an infidelity but if it was minor, say nothing more than a wayward kiss, then things could be worked out.

You both could very well stop divorce now by learning that honesty is really the best policy and communication is key to maintaining your relationship. If you have lost the ability to communicate effectively with each other then have a counselor teach you new ways to get the message across to each other. A good counselor will give you exercises and homework to learn new strategies of communication so your marriage can stand the test of time.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Stop Your Divorce Book

Do you want to be one of the one out of every two marriages to fall apart? If not then maybe you could find some help with a good stop your divorce book. You could then save yourselves from becoming just another statistic.

So, those vows you took, did you mean them or were they kind of, "Well, yeah, I do for now until something better comes along"? That, my friend, seems to be the way too many couples approach their marriage.

Another reason too many marriages end in divorce is that the whole marriage thing gets taken for granted. Marriage is work people and anyone who thinks otherwise is doomed to fail. Marriage is not going to always be like the dating and then the honeymoon. Soon after, the
Honeymoon will end and reality will set in.

When that happens then the real work begins, too. There has to be daily communication between you, not to mention respect and trust. If you have taken your vows seriously then there should be only slight problems

Before you even get married there should be clear, set ground rules for everything. That way there will be no misunderstandings and making mountains out of molehills. If this does not happen then things will soon start to spiral out of control and you will find yourself at the library looking for a stop your divorce book. A book from the library will tell you all the things you are reading here and so much more.

Before there are any children brought into the marriage, especially if you rushed into things, learn to live together and make the household run smoothly. Do not, under any circumstances bring a child into the midst of your stupidity with the hopes that everything will suddenly be ok, it won't. The only thing that will happen is that now there is a child that will be hurt beyond belief when the two of you do split up.

The statistics on children of divorced parents is underwhelming at the least. They are more likely to suffer from depression, start smoking or drinking or doing drugs, or all of the above. Not to mention they are more likely to be unable to maintain their own relationships and marriage also. And how would you feel if they didn't "choose" you to be the parent they wanted to be with. It would just add more stress and strife to an already bad situation.

I usually do not like to recommend specific material in my articles but this is one time I will make an exception. I you want the title of a really good stop your divorce book, go to the library and check out the author Homer McDonald who wrote the book called, "Stop Your Divorce". In this book he tells how he developed the theory that simply agreeing with your spouse can help save your marriage.

Arguing only fuels the fire and makes you look desperate and needy. This will only drive the other away faster. So agree, agree, agree. Don't be a doormat but you know what they say about attracting more flies with honey than you do vinegar.

Friday, September 2, 2011

How To Stop My Divorce

Admit it, you did something stupid and now she says she wants a divorce. She is tired of all the crap and doesn't want to deal with it, or you, anymore. You don't want one and are now scrambling for ways on how to stop my divorce. You are desperately looking for something to say or do that will change her mind.

Let me tell you something, everything you are considering trying will only continue to push her away. Don't send flowers, ok, they are nice but she will only see them as some sort of manipulation. In reality, that is exactly what they are, a manipulation. You cannot manipulate yourself back onto her good side. It will never work, she will see right through it.

So, where do you start how to stop my divorce?

First, stop fighting and arguing. You are never going to get her to change her mind this way and she will just dig her feet in and the resentment will keep building. You can't talk someone in to feeling a certain way when they already feel another. She is justified in the way she feels and doesn't want to change. Talk is cheap and she knows it.

She also does not want to keep hearing "I love you" all the time. Whether it is true or not she is convinced that she no longer loves you and has shut all her feelings off except the ones that will see her through a divorce. She thinks it is over between you and is preparing herself to start changing the way she looks and acts in life so she can survive. This may seem a little selfish but this really is a natural step to take to have a smooth transition between married life and single life.

Oh, and do not ever try to reassure her that you have or will be "changing" your behavior. Again, she will not believe you and really is an attempt on your part to continue trying to control the situation. You can't and depending on what you did to prompt her into asking for a divorce then she may think you have lost the right to control anything anymore.

If you want her to do a one-eighty then you need to be as agreeable, and as sincere, as you can possibly be. Let her be right from here on out. That's all she probably wanted from you in the first place, to just be right some of the time. When one of you controls the other by shooting down every idea, or comment, or suggestion and always has a "better" way of doing things it gets real old, real fast. If you want to win her back start making her feel like her opinion is the one that means the most.

You doing a one-eighty and learning these different tactics is the only way you will be allowed back in her life. She did not marry you originally to be under your thumb all the time and be controlled like she doesn't have a brain in her head. She married you because she loved you and wanted to be your equal partner in the marriage. So if you stop fighting, arguing, telling her you love her and showering her with gifts, or reassuring her that you can change and stay positive and let her be right and agree with everything she says from here on out then you will have learned a valuable lesson in how to stop my divorce.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Ways To Stop Divorce

There are plenty of ways to stop divorce if the two of you have changed your minds and decided to stay together. If you have been separated for a while and live in a state where you had to file separation papers, they are already on file with the court pending your divorce. If the state you live in does not require separation papers to be filed your process will go a little smoother.

In states requiring separation papers be filed, if you want ways to stop divorce and to get back together then you must now sign a piece of paper that says you want to revoke the separation and then get it notarized. Then you can be free to move back in together and begi your life together all over again.

If, however, there was a petition for dissolution of marriage filed with the court during the separation by one or both of you then you will have to petition the court to dismiss the petition, then go before the judge to have the settlement agreement revoked as well.

You can choose to leave it at having the judge dismiss the petition for dissolution of marriage but if you do not get the settlement agreement revoked then if things eventually do not work out between you then you will be bound by the original settlement agreement set in place by the court.

Leaving the settlement agreement in place means that if there is another break down of communication then one or the other can have contempt motions filed against them by the other. It is in your best interest to try to work on making things better between you instead of heading for divorce court.

In states that do not required separation papers to be filed but you have petitioned the court for dissolution of marriage then all you need to do is ask the judge to dismiss them then get on with your lives. If no court papers have been filed then just get on with things like you normally would. Nothing further needs to be done.

If you relationship inevitably does not work out then you already know the step to take to file for dissolution of marriage and you can file a new petition. Remember, though, that if you have both hired a lawyer to watch over your best interests then you could be shelling out quite a bit of money during these times. So, make up your minds about what you want before hiring an attorney.

Laws for filing separation papers and divorce papers are different in every state. Make sure you know what your state requires. You could call and ask a divorce attorney beforehand to get your facts straight. A family law attorney can tell you what the process is for filing and then undoing a separation. So, what does this mean? Find an attorney to talk to before you do anything. Even for ways to stop divorce. The subject of this article is meant for your information only and is written by a non-attorney. The information in this article should not be used as legal advice.