Life After Infidelity-You Decide If You Can Save The Marriage

A marriage is a very important and sacred pact between two people. We are raised to believe that once those vows are taken we can trust our spouse for the rest of our lives. However this does not always go as we might hope.

Since none of us are able to read minds we can never truly know someone. On top of that people change over time, so the person you fell in love with may be someone entirely different today.

Even if you both love each other, times change and you might grow bored with the same old routine. This is the reason for most affairs, one spouse simply grows tired of the dull routine and wants to try something different.

While it is far from acceptable it is understandable and understanding is the first step to healing your marriage. While a lot of people would end their marriage after this act of betrayal, people often still love each other and might want to salvage their relationship even after this mistake.

But how can you trust them ever again after they back stabbed you like this? You swore to be faithful and they went off with someone else. Well there are certain things you can do to help mend the wound.

First of all, do not accept excuses. Just because you are willing to forgive and move forward does not mean you should just forget it and let them off the hook. They screwed up, big time, and they need to own up to their mistake for your relationship to work. If they want your relationship to work then they will do this, otherwise they may not be as serious as you are.

Another part of not accepting some half hearted apology is to remember the old saying "actions speak louder then words". If your spouse is truly sorry and wants to make amends, they will cut off all contact with the person they cheated with.

If they refuse to do this, or continue to see the person, then they probably are not as sorry as they led you to believe and you might want to simply cut your losses and move on with your life.

Also, do not belittle yourself. A lot of people blame themselves for their spouses affair, thinking they must have done something wrong to drive their partner to such lengths. Do not do this, it was their mistake not yours. If they had a problem they should have talked with you about it instead of running off into someone else's bed.

Lastly, whether you forgive them or move on, always hold your head high. You are not at fault for this and you deserve better. Whether you get that from your spouse or someone down the line is up to you. There is no law saying you have to stay with them if they refuse to change. Be understanding and cooperative, but never be a doormat.

As long as you try your best to make things work, and as long as your spouse realizes their mistake and tries as well, things will often work out in the end.

Relationship Breakups-When It All Comes Crashing Down

Relationship breakups can be tough on both the person being broken up, and the person doing the breaking up. You put all that time and effort into building a relationship just to have it all come crashing down. It is understandable that you will have troubled emotions over it.

However there are things you should keep in mind when ending a relationship. There is a lot of advice out there to help you through the trouble times regardless of which side of the break up you are on.

Try to remember that regardless of why you and your partner broke up, you both cared for each other at one time and you both deserve respect and decency. It is best to try and end a relationship on good terms, but if you do not end it on good terms it is probably best to simply avoid contact with your ex.

It sounds pretty obvious but a lot of people make the mistake of trying to stay in contact with their ex. This is especially true for the one who got dumped. If they broke up with you, as much as it hurts, just let them go. All you do by contacting them is annoy them and cause further friction.

Not only does that bother them, but it only causes more grief for you. Time heals all wounds but if you keep that wound open, it will never heal. So try to just move on with your life and move past the tough times.

Also try to stop and think about your relationship. Why did they break up with you? Or why did you break up with them? Try to find the reasons why your relationship failed so you can avoid making those same mistakes in the future.

If your partner is at fault (and try to be honest with yourself here) then make sure to find out what they did wrong so you can avoid those qualities in the next person you meet. If you are at fault try to work on improving those qualities so history does not repeat itself.

It is also advisable to take a little time off after a break up. Leave town and spend the weekend away having fun. This can help take your mind off all the negative emotions and help you clear your head. Sulking over the break up does not do you any good and it just prolongs the healing process.

After that you may want to put your focus into a hobby. You probably wont feel like dating again any time soon so it could be a great help to find something else to occupy your mind. If you can find a fun hobby that you can engross yourself in, it can help you put aside the hurt from relaionship breakups and allow you to get on with your life.

Lastly, try to avoid gossiping about your ex. Regardless of why you broke up they still deserve respect and all you do by gossiping about them is make yourself look bad. Try to end your relationship with dignity and grace, hold your head high and simply keep on moving forward.

Affair Relationships-Cheating, Affair Its All The Same

Relationships can be fickle things, that is why we try so hard to keep them intact. Since we can not read peoples minds or understand their true feelings, we are left struggling to get along as best we can. That is simply the nature of being human.

But because of those limitations we have to pay extra attention to how we interact. When you get into a relationship with someone it requires time and dedication. You have to put in the effort to get to know them and understand them.

However, what happens when you are not as interested in that person as you originally thought? What if they simply do not fulfill all your needs? By that point you may already be in a long standing relationship with that person.

Although they may not meet all your expectations, you probably still love them and do not want to hurt them. This is where many affair relationships happen. You are left wanting more but you still want your partner, so you wander off the path and go find someone else in an attempt to satisfy your urges.

You probably do not mean to harm your partner, you just wanted something more. Unfortunately that does not matter. Whether you intended to or not, you did indeed cause your partner great harm. Because of your inability to control your urges they are left with the emotional pain that comes from betrayal.

The key here is control. You might not be entirely fulfilled and this is where you have to stop and let logic take over. Ask yourself if you truly love this person, if you do then you have to control your urges and not betray them.

If you find yourself not as in love as you once were, do not stay out of guilt. So many people make this mistake, they find out that they are not truly in love with the person but by then it is too late. Since they do not want to hurt their partner they try to have a secret affair relationships.

Believe me, in causes them far more pain to have an affair behind their back then if you had simply broken up with them. Honesty and respect are fundamental aspects of a relationship, by having an affair you walk all over those tenants.

So if you determine that you simply are not in love with your partner anymore, be honest about your feelings and tell them that the relationship is over. Do it as gently as possible but do not allow yourself to remain in the relationship out of fear of hurting them.

Once out of that relationship you are free to pursue other people, hopefully finding someone that gives you all the fulfillment you crave.

No matter what the reason for an affair, always remember that it is about the single most hurtful thing you can ever do in a relationship. If you love your partner, or even just respect them, then an affair might not be the best choice. Instead let them go and move on, it will be better for everyone involved.

Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage

If you have been married for years and things are just not like they used to be, you may be considering divorce. You may even have taken that first step and gone to see a lawyer. This can be a confusing, scary time for you and if you continue to be unsure of which way to go, rest assured you can stop your divorce save your marriage and continue on the path to living happily ever after.

There are some things you will need to accomplish this. A strong will, determination, commitment, a solid support system and most likely, counseling. With all this you can get beyond the problems in your marriage and stop your divorce save your marriage.

The lawyers and the courts are filled to the brim with people saying they are divorcing due to irreconcilable differences. Do they have to be? Maybe you can be the couple who sets the new standard of having reconcilable differences. There are too many people who just give up on their marriage and don't want to put in the work anymore. If this is you then go ahead with the divorce but, if you find there is still some love left after all these years and you can still communicate on some level then there may be something there left to fight for.

I guess it all depends on what the issues really are that are causing the difficulties. Money and the lack of communication are two of the biggest reasons I think that people end up wanting to go their separate ways. These can be expanded to one or the other feeling controlled and ignored by the other. You may have started out as a team but somewhere along the line the one who makes the most money seems to always wear the pants in the family.

If the two of you agree that neither of you wants a divorce then start this process by sitting down and talking to each other and setting some ground rules. Then agree to see a counselor. If one of you can't seem to get there right off the bat then the one who wants to go should start seeing someone. Find someone that is a good fit for both of you so when the reluctant one comes around you will have success and not another thing to fight about. There has been enough fighting.

If a counselor is out of the question then make an appointment to see your pastor. He or she will guide you through these tough times and help you come out the other side a better and stronger couple for weathering this bad patch. Maybe just being reminded of the happy years you had will be enough and if this is the same pastor who married you he or she can help you see that what you have is worth all this. Reading a couple of scriptures and a reminder of your vows and the love that was once there may be just the ticket to stop your divorce save your marriage

How To Say Sorry To Your Boyfriend-We All Have To Once In Awhile

Relations require a lot of work and can be wonderful things. But sometimes we can argue and have fights. When this happens both parties get mad at each other and there is obvious friction.

When this happens you probably want to apologize to your boyfriend. Whether you were to blame or not sometimes it is good to just say sorry and move on.

If this is the case you may asking yourself how you go about apologizing to him. Well there are a number of things you can do to Say sorry to your boyfriend and to make it seem sincere.

If you do not apologize after doing something wrong it could severely damage your relationship. Even if you do not break up it can put a very big fissure between the two of you and cause a lot of tension which will just build up until the next fight.

Saying sorry to your boyfriend can be hard, especially if he was at fault. But even so there are things you can do to help make it easier and increase the chances of him accepting your apology.

1: Make sure to give him some space. Sometimes people just need to be left alone to be mad. If you try to act too soon it could just spark another fight and undo all your efforts. So giving him some time to cool off can greatly increase your chances of success.

2: Let him vent. This is another important thing you have to do. Even if you give him some space and try to talk, he might start yelling again because he is mad. It is human nature to get defensive and retaliate when threatened. Resist this urge as best you can. Let him yell and get it all off his chest, listen to what he has to say. He will calm down and be more willing to talk it over with you.

3: Be sincere. People can pick up on subtle traits and body language which can give you away if you are lying. If you are sorry then say sorry, otherwise it might do more harm then good. Apologies only mean something if you actually mean it.

4: If all else fails, come up with a more long term plan. If nothing you do seems to make a difference, and you are serious about saving your relationship, then you may have to take the high road and work at it. Do not become pushy or needy in any way, shape or form. It is human nature to withdraw or retaliate when pushed so if you try to pressure him about saving the relationship or about how you will change, it will only put him off.

As well avoid any and all arguments. Even if it means being a little yes man and agreeing to everything he says. He needs time to come around and you have to walk on egg shells during this period.

But do not confuse that with becoming a doormat. If he takes advantage of your behavior and tries to milk it for all it is worth, then you might not be able to salvage your relationship. There is walking on egg shells and then there is allowing him to take advantage. You have to draw the line and if he takes too long, you may want to just walk away.

How To Deal With A Boyfriend Break Up

Have you just broken up with your boyfriend? Are you spending your days wondering if you can get him back? This article will give you some helpful advice about a boyfriend break up.

The first thing you need to do is decide whether the relationship is really over or if this break up is just a temporary split. If the relationship is really over then you need to acknowledge that so you can move on.

Of course it is going to take time to get over your ex as he has been a big part of your life for a long time. There are things that you can do to try and reconcile with him if you believe that is what you really want.

If you have realized that you are not meant to be together, that the relationship is truly over, then there are steps that you can take to bring closure to the relationship and your feelings.

It will help if you can talk about your feelings. Keeping your feelings bottled up will only drag things on longer than necessary. If you can communicate your hurt you can begin healing and move on. You can do this by:

- Talking to friends or family who are there for you. You might find that some of your friends are not up to the challenge of helping you through a break up, but a true friend will be there to give you a shoulder to cry on.

- Talk to a therapist about your feelings. You can visit a therapist on a short term basis just to talk about your situation, without needing to share your feelings with anyone you know personally.

- Write about your feelings in a journal. Even writing your feelings down can help release them and allow you to move on.

You will need to get rid of anything that belongs to your ex. Keeping his things around the house will be a constant reminder of him so it's best to get rid of them. You can give things back to your ex or just throw them away. If there are things that you just can't bring yourself to throw out then put them in a box and store them away.

Next, you need to make some plans for how to spend your time. When you were in a relationship you probably spent most of your time together so now you need to learn to go out and do things on your own. Look at this as a chance to do your own thing and to be able to do what you want, when you want.

Don't sit around the house feeling sad and depressed about the break up, you need to get out and enjoy yourself. Join a gym or start a new hobby. Go out with your friends or visit your family. There are so many things that you can go out and do instead of just sitting home feeling sorry for yourself. You will soon find that you are enjoying life and missing your ex a lot less.

Before you know it you will be enjoying life and not even thinking about your ex. You may even begin to develop feelings for someone new. Life will go on and this boyfriend break up will be a thing of the past!

Cheating Boyfriend-Relationships About Trust

Relationships are about trust and communication, but over time that can erode away. You may start out loving one another but those feelings can fade over time. You get bored with each other and want to experience new things. This is why most affairs occur.

There are ways you can find out if you have a Cheating boyfriend. They are not exact or set in stone, but they can be fairly decent guidelines to help you determine whether or not your man is going to someone else for his needs.

1: If he comes home late this could be a sign he is cheating. Now obviously it is not if he comes home late once in a while. There are a lot of reasons he may be late, from working late to having to deal with traffic. This only becomes an issue if he does it consistently.

Another thing you can look for is what he does when he gets home. If he goes straight to the shower, this can be a tell tale sign he is having an affair. If he is cheating on you he will want to hide the evidence, which is why he goes straight to the shower. He will probably avoid you at all costs as he heads for the shower.

2: If your romantic life has dwindled out, this can be another sign. It is not concrete evidence that he is cheating, as there can be other reasons why your love life is suffering. If this is the only sign you recognize you may want to simply talk with him about it as there is probably another reason why this is happening.

3: If he makes excuses for not spending time with you or generally just avoids you. If he is having an affair he will want to spend time with that person over you. So if he always comes up with an excuse when you try to do something with him, this can be a pretty big red flag.

Something you should keep in mind if you suspect you have a Cheating boyfriend is to play dumb. You can not prove anything if he is trying to hide it, so to catch him you need to be smarter then he is. If you pretend to be clueless and not suspicious at all, he will lower his guard.

You can lull him into a false sense of security by doing this, he will think he is some sly devil who is getting off scott free but in reality he is falling right into your trap. Eventually he will make a mistake, leaving a certain text message on his phone or allowing you to answer a call from his mistress.

Once you get the evidence you need you can confront him on it and take the course of action you deem appropriate. Whether you dump him or give him another chance is up to you. Just keep in mind that not all men cheat, and you would not want to wrongly accuse your boyfriend of being a cheater. So make sure you get solid evidence before making a move, otherwise it might be you who ruins your relationship.

Boyfriend Girlfriend Quizzes-They Are Just For Fun

Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes can be a fun way to find out what kind of girlfriend or boyfriend you would make. They are just simple quizzes that will take your answers and calculate just what kind of girlfriend/boyfriend you would be.

I am sure you all have taken one of those quizzes, you know the ones. The ones where it asks you what character you are from a movie or something. Well these quizzes are basically that, you answer as best you can and it tells you what it thinks you will be.

Now obviously these are not some fool proof method to help you find your soul mate. They are just fun things to do in your spare time. That aside, they can be fairly helpful at helping you realize just what kind of person you are and what kind of boyfriend/girlfriend you would make.

Some of the more detailed quizzes out there can really go in depth about your personality. You can be taking them and really think long and hard about who you are and what you could contribute to a relationship.

If you are already in a relationship they can prove to be a fun activity you can do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. The two of you can take a quiz and find out if you are true soul mates, or laugh as it says you should be at each other's throats.

Since there are so many of those types of boyfriend girlfriend quizzes out there on the internet, you can go around trying different ones to see if you can get different answers. You could see if it is a universal truth where all the quizzes say the same thing, or if they all say completely different things.

You can also send those quizzes that you thought were really great to your friends. It is always fun seeing what those sort of things say about the people you know and you can make it a little game amongst your circle of friends.

There are dozens of types of quizzes as well. You can take a quiz to determine just what kind of boyfriend or girlfriend you could be. Or you could take a quiz to determine what kind of boyfriend or girlfriend is the perfect match for you.

There are also quizzes designed to be taken together. So you can get with your boyfriend or girlfriend and take the quiz and see just how compatible you really are. These types of quizzes tend to be fairly long and in depth so if you feel like doing one make sure to set aside enough time to complete it.

No matter what kind of quiz you are looking for, you can probably find it somewhere on the internet. And although these quizzes are far from scientific fact, they can prove to be not only fun, but fairly enlightening as well. They can show you facets of yourself that you may not have realized before, or give you insight into what kind of partner you would be good with.

Four Stages Of Breaking Up-Love Makes The World Go Around

It has often been said that "love makes the world go 'round", and there is a lot of truth to that. Maybe that's why going through a break up is such a tough thing to deal with. It's impossible to feel your best when your emotional needs aren't being met; you feel a certain emptiness and you're not sure if you'll ever be the same. Nobody is saying it's easy, but knowing the 4 stages of breaking up will help you to get through it.

Stage 1 - Shock is the first thing people experience after breaking up.IT doesn't matter if you saw it coming, or if it happened out of the blue; feeling shock at the finality of the situation is normal. The good news is that it's fairly easy to get through this stage in a short amount of time.

Stage 2 - The 2nd of the 4 stages of breaking up is denial. It's worth noting that denial comes in many different forms. What it really boils down to is refusing to accept the truth. In a way, denial is nothing more than a coping mechanism. After all, it's easier to pretend nothing's wrong than it is to face all of those "nasty emotions" head on. But you will never get past the break up if you maintain a state of denial. It may be hard to believe, but things really will get better...once you start seeing them as they really are.

Stage 3 - After the shock and denial wear off, people often find that they are depressed. While being sad and heartbroken are normal, and will pass, true depression should always be treated. If you exhibit any of the warning signs of depression, then you need to talk to a doctor, psychiatrist or counselor as soon as possible. Depression should be taken seriously. That being said, chances are good that you are just incredibly sad and the feeling will lessen as more time passes.

Stage 4 - You will have been through a lot by the time you get to the point of acceptance, but it will be worth it. It would be great if you could skip the other stages to get to this point, but that rarely happens. Accepting that it's really over and that your life still goes on will give you a fresh perspective on life.

These 4 stages of breaking up apply to most people, however everybody is different. Whatever you go through after a break up, remember that you can get through it. If you need to get someone to help you move past it, then do what needs to be done. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it once you are happy again.

How To Recognize The Warning Signs Of A Breakup-May Help The Recovery

To say nobody enjoys going through a break up would be an understatement. Even the best of break ups have more than their fair share of negative feelings. You both may agree it's best to go your separate ways, and even seem to be getting along rather well (considering the circumstances). Or...maybe the break up is down and dirty and it's a living nightmare. Regardless of how it ends up, the more advance notice you have, the better equipped you will be to handle it or possibly even save your relationship. With that in mind, here's how to recognize the warning signs of a breakup.

Avoiding each other: It's okay to want some alone time, but only to a certain point. It's also normal for both people in a relationship to have some idea of what the other person is doing. There should also be some level of interaction, even if you're not getting along all that well. But if either one of you are going out of your to avoid the other person, then that's a definite warning sign of a breakup. After all, you can't work through your problems if you never see each other.

No communication: This goes hand-in-hand with avoidance, but can take place when the two of you are together. For example, you may spend all day in the same house but never talk to each other. Or maybe you know something is bothering your partner, but they refuse to talk to you. If this is happening, then you need to do whatever you can to reopen the lines of communication.

Arguing: While you shouldn't have any difficulty recognizing this warning sign of a breakup, you may not have as much to worry about as you think. As long as the arguing is focusing on behavior, and not getting personal or hurtful, then it's quite possible that you will be able to work things out. Nobody likes a heated argument, but at least it's an attempt at some form of communication, and that means there is a glimmer of hope.

Sudden changes and odd behavior: If your partner used to be quiet, but now all they want to do is talk; if they used to like to come home right after work, but now they're working as much overtime as they can; or if they are giving extra attention to their appearance then it's a sign that something is going on. Does it mean a break up is on the horizon? Maybe, maybe not. However, sudden changes in behavior should be enough to be more alert to what's going on in your relationship.

Once you know how to recognize the warning signs of a breakup you can take action start turning things around. Whether or not you try to work things out is entirely up to you. But if your relationship should ultimately come to an end, at least you will have had a chance to make it better. At the very least you won't be surprised. Either way, stay alert for these warning signs and do what you need to do if any of them should happen to come up.

Is My Boyfriend A Good Match For Me-Only You Can Make That Decision

It seems as though the first few weeks of dating a new guy are fantastic. He seems wonderful, and you even start wondering if he's "the one". But then some tie passes and the initial attraction starts to wear off. Now, instead of thinking he's Mr. Right, you're starting to ask yourself "is my boyfriend a good match for me?" It's an important question to ask, and the sooner you can answer it, the better. Here are a few things for you to keep in mind as you search for the answer.

One of the best things you can do is talk to your boyfriend. Be sure you're not grilling him with questions because he's not on trial. The whole purpose is to try to get to know him better. Ask him about his thoughts on the things that matter the most to you. While you're not looking for 100% agreement, it's important to share at least some of the same values. You should keep these conversations very low-key and friendly, and he should never feel as though he is defending himself. Pay attention to his answers and then take a few days to really think about them.

You should also find out how he views your future together. Be very careful here, because a lot of guys will view this as being pushed into making a commitment...and that could scare him off. Don't worry, if the two of you get along and are a good match, he will eventually warm up to the idea of being in a more committed relationship. But for now you want to find out how he views family life and things like that. You can always compromise on some things, but only to a point. For example, if he wants to have 8 kids, but you only want 1 or 2, then it may be time to move on...or at least have a deeper conversation on the subject.

There is more to answering the question of "is my boyfriend a good match for me" than just talking to him. You need to be honest with yourself about how you feel about him, and how he makes you feel. Right now you may be a bit nervous because the novelty of a new relationship is starting to wear off, but that alone isn't enough to dump him. Let's face it, nobody's perfect. Are there things about him that irritate you? Does he have a few habits that drive you up the wall? If so, then that's perfectly normal.

Does he make you feel important? Does he value and respect you? Is he able to put up with your imperfections? If he doesn't make you feel good about yourself, then you may want to break things off sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you can answer yes to those questions then it's a very strong sign that the two of you are a good fit for one another.

Mending A Broken Heart-Roller Coaster Of Emotions Not Forever

It's a pretty safe bet that many members of the animal kingdom feel various emotions. There is even strong evidence to suggest that some species care deeply for members of their family group, yet it's hard to imagine that any animal could have the same depth of affection as people do. Being in love is one of the strongest emotions there is. Even though love is a marvelous thing, there are some downsides to it. First, love can cloud your judgment; preventing you from seeing things as they are. Second, love doesn't always last and that can lead to intense heart break that may seem like it will never end. If this sounds familiar to you, then you can take comfort in knowing that mending a broken heart is possible.

However, you need to stay grounded in reality. The truth is that while you can mend your heartache, it's rarely easy, and it will take some time before you return to feeling normal. That being said, it is worth the effort when you consider the alternative of not fixing the problem.

The funny thing about a broken heart is that you won't always feel like it's broken. There will be times when you feel sad, no doubt, but there will also be times that you feel guilty, angry or even relieved. But, until you are completely over your former partner, you can be sure that there is some heart break playing a role in your emotions. So, how do you go about mending a broken heart?

To be blunt, you need to confront the problem. While you may be able to take temporary comfort in denial, it will only delay things from getting better. You have to be completely honest with yourself and how you feel.

Being honest is the only way you will be able to work things out. It won't be easy, but you need to figure out why you feel so heartbroken. Do you feel betrayed by your ex? Do you feel you betrayed them? Was there a death? Were they unfaithful? Do you feel guilty? Do you think you could have done more? Do you think you did all you could, and just can't understand why you broke up anyway? Whatever it is, identifying the real problem is the key to solving it.

Once you have figured out what the root of your broken heart is, you can fix it. For example, if you're feeling guilty, then you need to forgive yourself. But if it was something your partner did, then you need to forgive them. You have to be willing to do whatever it is that needs to be done.

You also need to be realistic about mending a broken heart. Because it isn't always easy, you may not be able to do it on your own. If you find you're just not getting any better, then it may be time to seek help from a counselor...again, whatever it takes. Give it time and face it head on, and you will be feeling better before you know it.