Being together with someone you care about isn't always easy. You may have started off on the right foot, and may have thought that you would be that happy for the rest of your life...but then reality paid you a visit and now things aren't looking quite as good. What may surprise you is that over half of all couples have received relationship counseling of some kind while they were together. Here are some things for you to consider when it comes to seeing a counselor.
A counselor is not a miracle worker. They can't just wave a magic wand and make your relationship perfect. What they can do is listen to each of you (separately and together), and offer suggestions based on what you have told them.
The purpose of visiting a counselor is not to win some imaginary contest, nor is it to prove you are right and that your partner is wrong. If that's your attitude, then you can be sure that changing that attitude is one of the first things the counselor is going to try to do. In some ways--depending how bad things are--the counselor's role is to tear down all of the nasty walls you have put up, and then rebuild on a more harmonious foundation.
One thing you should watch out for is more arguing. What? Yes, that's right, a lot of couples find that they argue more after their first few sessions of relationship counseling. That's because they are learning new ways to communicate, and this change can bring stress of its own. Don't worry, though, if you stick with the counseling you will get past this and start to get along better and better.
Just having somebody to listen to your side of things can be quite therapeutic. Maybe you feel like your partner doesn't get what you're trying to say, or maybe you feel like they ignore you completely. Either way, having an objective party lending an ear can be a great way to work through things.
But why use a counselor at all, can't you get a lot of the same information from self-help books? You sure can. Let me ask you this: have you tried any of those books, and if so, how are they working for you? If they're not working, that's okay, it's not your fault. See, the author can only pass along what they know, but they don't know you personally. Their advice may be wonderful...for somebody else, but it just doesn't work for you. A counselor can listen to your specific problems and then craft solutions that will work best for your specific situation.
There is a catch to all of this. Nothing will happen if you do nothing. While that may sound like common sense, far too many couples go to relationship counseling and never follow through on any of the qualified professional advice they are given. That's too bad because if they did, they could end up being happier than ever. The good news is that the choice to be happy is all yours.
relationship counseling, counseling
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Save A Marriage-Communication Is The Key
Every marriage is important so each one deserves a full effort from both parties. But sometimes a couple will experience trouble and it seems that there is no way to solve the problem without divorce. If this is happening to you there are ways to save a marriage, but it will take effort on the part of both people.
The important thing to remember here is communication. Often, as couples settle into their marriage, they start to become complacent. They feel as if there is no further need to put any effort into their relationship. Both people fall into a routine and life just happens without giving any special attention to it. This is the main problem with marriage today.
If there has not been a consistent effort from both parties then now is not the time to focus on that: this is more of a survival period. This is the time that you both need to sit down together and talk. No arguing, and no finger pointing: just talk.
This is the time to be brutally honest. Write down everything that you love about the other person. Make the list as long as you can. Now, look over the list. When was the last time that you told the other person how much you love these traits about them? People love to feel wanted and this would be a good time to start letting the other person know that they are, in fact, wanted.
Ask the other person if there are things you can do to make the marriage better for them. Couples always go out of their way for each other until they marry. Then, they settle in for the long haul and things start to slip. Recognizing an area that needs improvement shows that you are genuinely interested in working on it. Showing effort and concern shows the other person that you do to want to give up and they shouldn’t either.
If communication has broken down too far then do not be afraid to bring in outside help. Counselors are trained to listen and will not take sides. And sometimes seeing things from an outside perspective brings clarity to the problem.
Many people want to save a marriage, but they might just feel so frustrated that they think it is too late. There is always time to start the healing process. Communication, patience, understanding and love are all important parts that must work together in order to be successful.
The important thing to remember here is communication. Often, as couples settle into their marriage, they start to become complacent. They feel as if there is no further need to put any effort into their relationship. Both people fall into a routine and life just happens without giving any special attention to it. This is the main problem with marriage today.
If there has not been a consistent effort from both parties then now is not the time to focus on that: this is more of a survival period. This is the time that you both need to sit down together and talk. No arguing, and no finger pointing: just talk.
This is the time to be brutally honest. Write down everything that you love about the other person. Make the list as long as you can. Now, look over the list. When was the last time that you told the other person how much you love these traits about them? People love to feel wanted and this would be a good time to start letting the other person know that they are, in fact, wanted.
Ask the other person if there are things you can do to make the marriage better for them. Couples always go out of their way for each other until they marry. Then, they settle in for the long haul and things start to slip. Recognizing an area that needs improvement shows that you are genuinely interested in working on it. Showing effort and concern shows the other person that you do to want to give up and they shouldn’t either.
If communication has broken down too far then do not be afraid to bring in outside help. Counselors are trained to listen and will not take sides. And sometimes seeing things from an outside perspective brings clarity to the problem.
Many people want to save a marriage, but they might just feel so frustrated that they think it is too late. There is always time to start the healing process. Communication, patience, understanding and love are all important parts that must work together in order to be successful.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Mending Broken Heart- Sooner Better Than Later
Love can be cruel sometimes as is evident in some relationships. If mending broken hearts seems to be a reoccurring theme in your life then you need to sit back and reevaluate what is happening to cause this vicious cycle to occur in the first place.
No one likes having their heart broken, but they especially don’t like for it to happen repeatedly. The bad part is when someone doesn’t know that it is coming. That makes the pain even worse. When this happens the first step is to look back and see if there were any warning signs.
Sometimes signs are evident to others, but the person that it is happening to is oblivious to what is going on. This might be because they are preoccupied with the situation or they are just trying to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away. Were there any signs that this was going to occur? If so, you have to find out why they occurred in the first place.
Even though losing love is hard it is not the end of the world. Undoubtedly, the one who is hurt will hear this from others, but it is, in fact, the truth. This is a time to be with others and be surrounded with friends and family. This is not the time to hear people bashing your partner, unless it is obviously justified. The key here is to get out of the house. Sitting around just invites in pity and sorrow, which is something that is not going to help at this point.
The sooner that the hurt individual gets back out into the world the easier the recovery time will be. Letting things languish only drags out the pain. They should never try to contact the other person since further rejection will only open up old wounds. If it is meant to be they will see the separation as an eye-opening experience.
After you have had some time to heal then the last step is to sit down and see what you have learned. Were you too needy? Did you rush the relationship and possibly scare them away? Or were they possibly the wrong person for you? If you think about it enough the answer will present itself to you. Have a good friend sit down with you and talk it over. Sometimes a different view can bring things into perspective. Just remember: mending broken hearts is not easy, but it is possible.
No one likes having their heart broken, but they especially don’t like for it to happen repeatedly. The bad part is when someone doesn’t know that it is coming. That makes the pain even worse. When this happens the first step is to look back and see if there were any warning signs.
Sometimes signs are evident to others, but the person that it is happening to is oblivious to what is going on. This might be because they are preoccupied with the situation or they are just trying to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away. Were there any signs that this was going to occur? If so, you have to find out why they occurred in the first place.
Even though losing love is hard it is not the end of the world. Undoubtedly, the one who is hurt will hear this from others, but it is, in fact, the truth. This is a time to be with others and be surrounded with friends and family. This is not the time to hear people bashing your partner, unless it is obviously justified. The key here is to get out of the house. Sitting around just invites in pity and sorrow, which is something that is not going to help at this point.
The sooner that the hurt individual gets back out into the world the easier the recovery time will be. Letting things languish only drags out the pain. They should never try to contact the other person since further rejection will only open up old wounds. If it is meant to be they will see the separation as an eye-opening experience.
After you have had some time to heal then the last step is to sit down and see what you have learned. Were you too needy? Did you rush the relationship and possibly scare them away? Or were they possibly the wrong person for you? If you think about it enough the answer will present itself to you. Have a good friend sit down with you and talk it over. Sometimes a different view can bring things into perspective. Just remember: mending broken hearts is not easy, but it is possible.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Relationship Break Up Get Back Together
Often people have a relationship, break up, get back together and then break up again. So what is going on? Is the relationship on or is it off? This can be a confusing time, but this is when things need to be evaluated by both sides.
Couples have differences all of the time, even after marriage. No relationship is completely perfect. Anytime you place two different individuals together there are going to be little spats-that’s just the way life works. The key is to determine if they are insignificant disagreements or if something else is going on that might be a little more serious.
Almost everyone has been in at least one relationship where there were little tiffs here and there and it seemed as if both people just couldn’t seem to work out all of the details. If there was always a little static present between the two it would account for breaking up once, or even more than once. But whatever it was that caused the difference of opinions, was it worth breaking up over or was it just the excuse needed to end the relationship? This is something that has to be answered.
In a true relationship that is meant to be, there are always going to be differences. But these couples work through it. Breaking up should not be the first answer for a solution that they come up with. It seems as if there is something deeper and this is the excuse to finally make the move to end things.
Also, it needs to be determined if it is the same person who is always offering to end things. If this is the case, then it might be the problem of only one person. This might, in fact, actually be a one-sided relationship. In that case, the one who is interested in continuing it needs to see that they are apparently the only one interested in being vested as a couple.
Some couples just can’t work things out and in this case, some couples should see that this is a clue that maybe things were not meant to be. If that were not the case, then it would not be such a struggle to stay a couple. If you are in the cycle of being in a relationship, break up, get back together and so on, then there is a reason that this keeps happening. Maybe your feelings are trying to tell you something.
Couples have differences all of the time, even after marriage. No relationship is completely perfect. Anytime you place two different individuals together there are going to be little spats-that’s just the way life works. The key is to determine if they are insignificant disagreements or if something else is going on that might be a little more serious.
Almost everyone has been in at least one relationship where there were little tiffs here and there and it seemed as if both people just couldn’t seem to work out all of the details. If there was always a little static present between the two it would account for breaking up once, or even more than once. But whatever it was that caused the difference of opinions, was it worth breaking up over or was it just the excuse needed to end the relationship? This is something that has to be answered.
In a true relationship that is meant to be, there are always going to be differences. But these couples work through it. Breaking up should not be the first answer for a solution that they come up with. It seems as if there is something deeper and this is the excuse to finally make the move to end things.
Also, it needs to be determined if it is the same person who is always offering to end things. If this is the case, then it might be the problem of only one person. This might, in fact, actually be a one-sided relationship. In that case, the one who is interested in continuing it needs to see that they are apparently the only one interested in being vested as a couple.
Some couples just can’t work things out and in this case, some couples should see that this is a clue that maybe things were not meant to be. If that were not the case, then it would not be such a struggle to stay a couple. If you are in the cycle of being in a relationship, break up, get back together and so on, then there is a reason that this keeps happening. Maybe your feelings are trying to tell you something.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Get Someone Back Takes Time
For those who want to get someone back that they were in a relationship with it does not need to be the end of he world. Often, things can be patched up, as long as it is done in the right manner and with the right intent. Going about it the wrong way will only result in driving them farther away.
The first thing to do is to give her back her space. This is crucial, but vitally important. She needs time to be alone. Most men will worry that during this separation of contact there will be another man to slide into his place. If the relationship is salvageable then this won’t be the case. She just needs time to sort things out and having someone hover over her every move will only complicate matters.
Also during this time is when the man needs to reassess the relationship. This means to get on with your life. It does not mean to go after every woman that you come in contact with, but it is fine to start talking to them and continuing friendships. This might actually work to your advantage.
The woman needs to see that she should get back with you so this will probably send her the message that your life has not become irreparably crippled since she left. Not only is this the right message for her but also it shows her that you are a strong man, which is what women want.
It is also a good idea during this transition period that a man continues to keep up his appearance. It is important to dress in the same manner that he would if his girlfriend were still around. Nothing flashy, and nothing sloppy- just ordinary. Either she will see him out in public or one of her friends will get word back to her. If it is a friend the first thing she will ask is “how did he look?” She will want to know how the breakup is affecting him. When she finds out he has gone on with his life, seemingly unscathed, it will cause her to take another look at what happened.
If a man is going to get someone back it needs to be for the right reasons. The reconciliation should be based on the fact that he feels that she is a good match. If there is hesitation in these thoughts then perhaps he needs to re-evaluate the relationship again.
The first thing to do is to give her back her space. This is crucial, but vitally important. She needs time to be alone. Most men will worry that during this separation of contact there will be another man to slide into his place. If the relationship is salvageable then this won’t be the case. She just needs time to sort things out and having someone hover over her every move will only complicate matters.
Also during this time is when the man needs to reassess the relationship. This means to get on with your life. It does not mean to go after every woman that you come in contact with, but it is fine to start talking to them and continuing friendships. This might actually work to your advantage.
The woman needs to see that she should get back with you so this will probably send her the message that your life has not become irreparably crippled since she left. Not only is this the right message for her but also it shows her that you are a strong man, which is what women want.
It is also a good idea during this transition period that a man continues to keep up his appearance. It is important to dress in the same manner that he would if his girlfriend were still around. Nothing flashy, and nothing sloppy- just ordinary. Either she will see him out in public or one of her friends will get word back to her. If it is a friend the first thing she will ask is “how did he look?” She will want to know how the breakup is affecting him. When she finds out he has gone on with his life, seemingly unscathed, it will cause her to take another look at what happened.
If a man is going to get someone back it needs to be for the right reasons. The reconciliation should be based on the fact that he feels that she is a good match. If there is hesitation in these thoughts then perhaps he needs to re-evaluate the relationship again.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back-Its Not All Up To You
If you find yourself wanting to get your ex girlfriend back the first thing that you should know is that you’re not alone. Men find themselves in this situation all of the time. Whether it is due to something that they’ve done or maybe it was just a relationship that seems to have run its course, its still a bad situation to be in. The thing to remember is that there may still be a chance to mend things.
When a man in this position is seeking help they often pour their heart out to someone. They are looking for help but instead they typically get the old adages such as “I know you’re in a lot of pain” or “I’ve been there”. While these may be the only words of wisdom that someone has to offer, unfortunately, it isn’t much help.
A man’s first instinct to go into sappy overload and drown the woman in notes, calls, emails, flowers, visits, texts and anything else to get her attention. But this is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen. Appearing as needy, or in this case, over needy, is not what a woman wants. Women don’t like to see their man as an emotional basket case. They need to know that he is strong and can take care of her. Unfortunately, rolled up the corner of a dark room in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably does not dictate strength.
The man has to give the woman some space and let her re-evaluate the relationship. Trying to get to her emotionally simply will not work: neither will trying to trick, manipulate nor pressure her back into a relationship. This will cause her to feel trapped. And who wants to feel trapped? Men run from these relationships all of the time: why shouldn’t women?
After giving her a little time to herself a man has to start slowly, and without pressure. The first conversation should not be face-to-face, as this will put a woman on the defensive. Calling is best so that she does not feel like she is being put on the spot with undue pressure. Then just talk and ask what she needs. Once you ask her, then be quiet. Let her talk. Many times a woman not only needs to be heard, but she also needs to feel as if she is being heard. Communication will often take care of things, as this is a major reason why couples do not stay together. That is a major step to get your ex-girlfriend back.
When a man in this position is seeking help they often pour their heart out to someone. They are looking for help but instead they typically get the old adages such as “I know you’re in a lot of pain” or “I’ve been there”. While these may be the only words of wisdom that someone has to offer, unfortunately, it isn’t much help.
A man’s first instinct to go into sappy overload and drown the woman in notes, calls, emails, flowers, visits, texts and anything else to get her attention. But this is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen. Appearing as needy, or in this case, over needy, is not what a woman wants. Women don’t like to see their man as an emotional basket case. They need to know that he is strong and can take care of her. Unfortunately, rolled up the corner of a dark room in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably does not dictate strength.
The man has to give the woman some space and let her re-evaluate the relationship. Trying to get to her emotionally simply will not work: neither will trying to trick, manipulate nor pressure her back into a relationship. This will cause her to feel trapped. And who wants to feel trapped? Men run from these relationships all of the time: why shouldn’t women?
After giving her a little time to herself a man has to start slowly, and without pressure. The first conversation should not be face-to-face, as this will put a woman on the defensive. Calling is best so that she does not feel like she is being put on the spot with undue pressure. Then just talk and ask what she needs. Once you ask her, then be quiet. Let her talk. Many times a woman not only needs to be heard, but she also needs to feel as if she is being heard. Communication will often take care of things, as this is a major reason why couples do not stay together. That is a major step to get your ex-girlfriend back.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Ways To Get Ex Back If You Go About It The Right Way
There are ways to get your ex back if you go about it the right way. But before any steps are taken the man needs to sit down and evaluate exactly what happened.
True relationships don’t just dissolve so there has to be something that happened to cause the split. This is the time to figure out what that was. It could have been one issue or it could be the end result of many different little things that compiled together to make a case.
Once you have a reason there will be a person who was responsible. If it is due to something that the woman did, then the man should first assess how solid the relationship was to begin with. If it were a major deal then he would automatically know what happened. Not knowing means he was either not in tuned and missed clues that something was wrong, or he did not pay enough attention.
Sometimes clues are present and they are missed. If they were missed because he was not paying attention he needs to think about why he wasn’t paying attention. Was the relationship becoming stale? If they were missed due to the fact that they were so minute that anyone would miss them then maybe she overreacted. In this instance the man should think back to while they were together. Did she have a tendency to overreact? If not, she might be hiding something.
Often, women and men will overreact to something that would generally be considered insignificant so that they can use it as an excuse to justify an action. In this case, it will be blatantly obvious. For someone who has been in a relationship for awhile they will know enough about the other person to determine what would typically set them off and what would be considered behavior that was out of the ordinary. If this is out of character for her, then the man needs to dig deeper.
This doesn’t mean that she needs to be followed: however, it is a good time to give her some distance and let her sort things out. Out of all of the ways to get the ex back, stalking has never been a good option. Give her time and ease back into contact. If she has suddenly moved on it will be apparent from how she responds to the cooling off period.
True relationships don’t just dissolve so there has to be something that happened to cause the split. This is the time to figure out what that was. It could have been one issue or it could be the end result of many different little things that compiled together to make a case.
Once you have a reason there will be a person who was responsible. If it is due to something that the woman did, then the man should first assess how solid the relationship was to begin with. If it were a major deal then he would automatically know what happened. Not knowing means he was either not in tuned and missed clues that something was wrong, or he did not pay enough attention.
Sometimes clues are present and they are missed. If they were missed because he was not paying attention he needs to think about why he wasn’t paying attention. Was the relationship becoming stale? If they were missed due to the fact that they were so minute that anyone would miss them then maybe she overreacted. In this instance the man should think back to while they were together. Did she have a tendency to overreact? If not, she might be hiding something.
Often, women and men will overreact to something that would generally be considered insignificant so that they can use it as an excuse to justify an action. In this case, it will be blatantly obvious. For someone who has been in a relationship for awhile they will know enough about the other person to determine what would typically set them off and what would be considered behavior that was out of the ordinary. If this is out of character for her, then the man needs to dig deeper.
This doesn’t mean that she needs to be followed: however, it is a good time to give her some distance and let her sort things out. Out of all of the ways to get the ex back, stalking has never been a good option. Give her time and ease back into contact. If she has suddenly moved on it will be apparent from how she responds to the cooling off period.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Saving A Relationship Tips That Work
When it comes to saving a relationship, you might feel as though you're sitting on a sinking ship. Some relationships just aren't meant to be saved, but if yours happens to be one of the lucky few that are worth the extra effort then you need to take certain steps to make that happen.
The first step to saving a relationship is sitting down and having an honest conversation with your partner. Without communication, a relationship is nothing. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, dating relationship or marriage. No matter what kind of connection you have with the person, open and honest communication is vital to making sure that you have a healthy relationship.
Another part of preserving your relationship is understanding what the problems are. Obviously, if you have to consider "saving" your relationship, then there is some sort of issue that you think is potentially harmful to your bond. If you want to stay together with this person, you have to look closely at what the real issues are. For instance, has there been infidelity? If so, you might want to consider getting some kind of counseling as a way of overcoming the problems.
Another tip for saving your relationship is going above and beyond what you would normally do. One way of thinking about this is that you should wake up each morning with the intention of doing things in your partner's life to make it better. In other words, it shouldn't all be about you. You should be thinking about things you can do to make your partner happy and more content in their daily life. They should also be thinking the same way about you. Having a one-sided relationship is never a good thing.
Saving a relationship can take a lot of hard work. It might involve going to counseling. However, the vital component to making things work is knowing when to quit. Sometimes a relationship is just not meant to be. It's not that the people in the relationship are necessarily bad; it's just that they are not a good match for each other. It's not enough to simply love someone. You have to also like and respect the person enough to be in a long-term commitment with them. For this reason, really be honest with yourself about where your relationship is heading over the long haul. If you still want to make it work, expect to put in a lot of effort.
The first step to saving a relationship is sitting down and having an honest conversation with your partner. Without communication, a relationship is nothing. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, dating relationship or marriage. No matter what kind of connection you have with the person, open and honest communication is vital to making sure that you have a healthy relationship.
Another part of preserving your relationship is understanding what the problems are. Obviously, if you have to consider "saving" your relationship, then there is some sort of issue that you think is potentially harmful to your bond. If you want to stay together with this person, you have to look closely at what the real issues are. For instance, has there been infidelity? If so, you might want to consider getting some kind of counseling as a way of overcoming the problems.
Another tip for saving your relationship is going above and beyond what you would normally do. One way of thinking about this is that you should wake up each morning with the intention of doing things in your partner's life to make it better. In other words, it shouldn't all be about you. You should be thinking about things you can do to make your partner happy and more content in their daily life. They should also be thinking the same way about you. Having a one-sided relationship is never a good thing.
Saving a relationship can take a lot of hard work. It might involve going to counseling. However, the vital component to making things work is knowing when to quit. Sometimes a relationship is just not meant to be. It's not that the people in the relationship are necessarily bad; it's just that they are not a good match for each other. It's not enough to simply love someone. You have to also like and respect the person enough to be in a long-term commitment with them. For this reason, really be honest with yourself about where your relationship is heading over the long haul. If you still want to make it work, expect to put in a lot of effort.
What To Do If You Miss Your Ex
Going through a break up is never easy. In fact, it almost always sucks (to be blunt). Still, in a way you are just relieved to be done with it. Or so you thought. Then as some time passes, you start to realize that you still miss your ex. Oh no! What are you going to do? This isn't supposed to happen, is it? The two of you are broken up, and that's that. Let's take a deeper look at the issue, and you will see that things may not be quite as bad as they seem right now.
So, you miss your ex, but is that a bad thing? That really is the question, and getting to the bottom of it will determine how well you deal with your feelings for your ex.
The first thing you need to figure out is whether you really miss your ex or not. Remember, your emotions are going to be running high, and your thinking won't always be clear after a break up. You may think you miss your ex, but the reality is that you may miss having somebody to hang out with. Or maybe you are afraid you will never find love again. Neither of those things are really about your ex, they are about you, and that's okay. The main thing is that you get to the root of what your true feelings are.
Assuming you really do miss your ex, you have a decision to make: should you get over them, or try to get back with your ex? You may have a gut reaction to that question, but you don't want to act on it too quickly. There is no wrong answer here, but you do need to think about it carefully.
If you choose to get on with your life, then you will need to work through your emotions. Yes, you miss your ex, but now it's time to move on. It won't be easy, but you need to do it if you ever want to be happy again. If you can't seem to do it on your own, then talk to a friend, member of the clergy, or a counselor. Each of them can help in their own way, and you'll be glad once it's done.
On the other hand, you may decide that you want to try to get your ex back. This brings on a whole new set of challenges, but it can be done. Luckily, there has been a lot of information written about how to do this. So, rather than going off on a whole different tangent, suffice it to say that you can easily find out how to get your ex back if that's what you have decided to do.
Just because you miss your ex, doesn't mean you have to live with that feeling. Though it may not seem possible to you now, you can get through this. You have a few options, but the key is to take action. It will take some effort, but it will be worth it once you're happy again.
So, you miss your ex, but is that a bad thing? That really is the question, and getting to the bottom of it will determine how well you deal with your feelings for your ex.
The first thing you need to figure out is whether you really miss your ex or not. Remember, your emotions are going to be running high, and your thinking won't always be clear after a break up. You may think you miss your ex, but the reality is that you may miss having somebody to hang out with. Or maybe you are afraid you will never find love again. Neither of those things are really about your ex, they are about you, and that's okay. The main thing is that you get to the root of what your true feelings are.
Assuming you really do miss your ex, you have a decision to make: should you get over them, or try to get back with your ex? You may have a gut reaction to that question, but you don't want to act on it too quickly. There is no wrong answer here, but you do need to think about it carefully.
If you choose to get on with your life, then you will need to work through your emotions. Yes, you miss your ex, but now it's time to move on. It won't be easy, but you need to do it if you ever want to be happy again. If you can't seem to do it on your own, then talk to a friend, member of the clergy, or a counselor. Each of them can help in their own way, and you'll be glad once it's done.
On the other hand, you may decide that you want to try to get your ex back. This brings on a whole new set of challenges, but it can be done. Luckily, there has been a lot of information written about how to do this. So, rather than going off on a whole different tangent, suffice it to say that you can easily find out how to get your ex back if that's what you have decided to do.
Just because you miss your ex, doesn't mean you have to live with that feeling. Though it may not seem possible to you now, you can get through this. You have a few options, but the key is to take action. It will take some effort, but it will be worth it once you're happy again.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
5 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
Yuck! Going through a break up is the pits! There was a time when the two of you were happy together, but then something happened and now the two of you have split apart. Now you have mixed feelings; one moment you are glad you are rid of your ex and all the hassles of your relationship, and the next moment you are wondering if they might want you back.
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about the two of you working things out and being a couple again. And who knows? It could happen. However, you don't want to start trying to get your ex back if they have no interest in doing the same thing, right? That's a good point. What follows are some signs your ex wants you back.
1. They aren't very nice to you. Even if they seem to want to do nothing but argue, there is always a chance of working things out when the lines of communication are open. Perhaps your ex is afraid that you aren't interested in getting back together, but yet they still want to talk to you. So, they argue in an attempt to cover up their true motives.
2. They won't leave you alone. Does it always seem like your ex is "accidentally" bumping into you at the store or other places? Are they calling, texting or sending you e-mail? All of these things show that they want to be around you and are sure signs that your ex wants you back. Of course, if they are actually stalking you, then that has to stop. Other than that, their being around you is a positive sign.
3. They want to do some catching up. If they want to hear what you've been up to then it shows that they still care for you on some level. There is a chance that they may not want to get back together, but as long as they are being friendly and want to know how you are, there is a chance of eventually working things out between the two of you.
4. They buy you gifts. Some people show their feelings by buying gifts for the people they care for. Not only that, who would buy gifts for somebody they have no obligation to or no longer care for?
5. They flat out tell you. Well, it would be hard to get a stronger signal than that. While you may be excited by the idea of getting back together, you should proceed with some caution. There will be a lot of things the two of you need to work out, and that's going to take some time. But, if your ex says they want you back, then go for it!
These are some of the best signs your ex wants you back. However, even if they don't show any of those signs, there is still a chance they want to work things out. Pay attention the things your ex does and says, and look for any hints that they still have feelings for you.
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about the two of you working things out and being a couple again. And who knows? It could happen. However, you don't want to start trying to get your ex back if they have no interest in doing the same thing, right? That's a good point. What follows are some signs your ex wants you back.
1. They aren't very nice to you. Even if they seem to want to do nothing but argue, there is always a chance of working things out when the lines of communication are open. Perhaps your ex is afraid that you aren't interested in getting back together, but yet they still want to talk to you. So, they argue in an attempt to cover up their true motives.
2. They won't leave you alone. Does it always seem like your ex is "accidentally" bumping into you at the store or other places? Are they calling, texting or sending you e-mail? All of these things show that they want to be around you and are sure signs that your ex wants you back. Of course, if they are actually stalking you, then that has to stop. Other than that, their being around you is a positive sign.
3. They want to do some catching up. If they want to hear what you've been up to then it shows that they still care for you on some level. There is a chance that they may not want to get back together, but as long as they are being friendly and want to know how you are, there is a chance of eventually working things out between the two of you.
4. They buy you gifts. Some people show their feelings by buying gifts for the people they care for. Not only that, who would buy gifts for somebody they have no obligation to or no longer care for?
5. They flat out tell you. Well, it would be hard to get a stronger signal than that. While you may be excited by the idea of getting back together, you should proceed with some caution. There will be a lot of things the two of you need to work out, and that's going to take some time. But, if your ex says they want you back, then go for it!
These are some of the best signs your ex wants you back. However, even if they don't show any of those signs, there is still a chance they want to work things out. Pay attention the things your ex does and says, and look for any hints that they still have feelings for you.
Friday, April 15, 2011
How To Stop A Divorce - Yes It Can Be Done
Getting married is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, and it often is. However, the honeymoon soon comes to an end and reality sets in. You have tried to smooth things over, but now you are on the verge of splitting up. What you need want to know is how to stop a divorce.
The main question is do you just have a feeling that a divorce is about to happen, has it been expressed verbally, or have divorce papers actually been filed? Each one requires different ways of handling the situation.
You just have a "feeling". If this is the case, then you need to take some time to get to the root of why you're feeling this way. What problems are the two of you facing as a couple? What can be done about them? You basically need to determine if these feelings are well-founded, or if you are blowing things out of proportion (that's okay, it happens). You have to start a dialog with your spouse if you want to stop a divorce. It doesn't have to be about the big "D-word", but you should discuss your marriage.
It has been expressed verbally. Let's face it, sometimes arguments can get downright nasty. Now, that doesn't excuse either one of you from making the threat of divorce, but it is a possible explanation. The key is to do your best to figure out if it was a serious threat, or if it was just a "heat of the moment" thing. Either way, seeking the advice of a professional marriage counselor is a good idea at this stage. They will be able to help the two of you sort some things out. And even if divorce was never a real threat, a counselor can help you get along better.
Papers have been filed. Believe it or not, even this situation is not completely hopeless. Sure, it will take more effort to undo it, but it can be done. Most states have laws that require a period of several months to elapse between the filing of papers and the finalization of the divorce. This is the situation that will require the most damage control, and you will have to act quickly. Pull out all the stops. Talk to your spouse right away, and let them know you are ready and willing to work things out; whatever it takes.
You will notice that all of these ways to stop a divorce have something in common: they all require action on your part if you want it to stop. Each potential threat to your marriage requires a different response, but a response is required. While there is no guarantee you will be able to prevent it from happening, it is not a problem that will go away by ignoring it. It's going to take effort, but it will be more than worth it when the two of you are still married, and happily married at that.
The main question is do you just have a feeling that a divorce is about to happen, has it been expressed verbally, or have divorce papers actually been filed? Each one requires different ways of handling the situation.
You just have a "feeling". If this is the case, then you need to take some time to get to the root of why you're feeling this way. What problems are the two of you facing as a couple? What can be done about them? You basically need to determine if these feelings are well-founded, or if you are blowing things out of proportion (that's okay, it happens). You have to start a dialog with your spouse if you want to stop a divorce. It doesn't have to be about the big "D-word", but you should discuss your marriage.
It has been expressed verbally. Let's face it, sometimes arguments can get downright nasty. Now, that doesn't excuse either one of you from making the threat of divorce, but it is a possible explanation. The key is to do your best to figure out if it was a serious threat, or if it was just a "heat of the moment" thing. Either way, seeking the advice of a professional marriage counselor is a good idea at this stage. They will be able to help the two of you sort some things out. And even if divorce was never a real threat, a counselor can help you get along better.
Papers have been filed. Believe it or not, even this situation is not completely hopeless. Sure, it will take more effort to undo it, but it can be done. Most states have laws that require a period of several months to elapse between the filing of papers and the finalization of the divorce. This is the situation that will require the most damage control, and you will have to act quickly. Pull out all the stops. Talk to your spouse right away, and let them know you are ready and willing to work things out; whatever it takes.
You will notice that all of these ways to stop a divorce have something in common: they all require action on your part if you want it to stop. Each potential threat to your marriage requires a different response, but a response is required. While there is no guarantee you will be able to prevent it from happening, it is not a problem that will go away by ignoring it. It's going to take effort, but it will be more than worth it when the two of you are still married, and happily married at that.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Dealing With Lost Love
There have been so many things written about lost love, yet none of them really resonate with us...until we have lost a love of our own. Then, all of a sudden, all of the books, poems, movies and songs make so much more sense; they really speak to us. If you have recently gone through a divorce or a break up, then there is hope.
While it's not enough to make you feel 100% better, you can take at least a small measure of comfort from knowing that you are not alone. Countless people have had to deal with the same thing. Granted, no two situations are exactly the same, just as no two people are the same. However, there has been enough shared heartache over the centuries that some really good advice has been handed down.
Of course you feel awful, and that's perfectly normal. Guilt, anger, shame, confusion, doubt, sadness, depression, relief, and any number of other emotions all mix together. You're not really sure what to make of it. Sometimes you do quite well, and other times it's so painful that it seems as though you will never be the same again. Take heart! Just because you have lost love doesn't mean you have lost your mind...at least not permanently.
Take some time to get away from everything. Now, that doesn't mean you should crawl into a corner and wallow in self-pity. But you should try to clear your mind of the break for a while. If you have any vacation time from work, then now may be a good time to take it. A small vacation where you aren't surrounded by constant reminders of your past relationship is a good way to get the fresh perspective you need.
When you come back you can start to look at the relationship again. The key is not get too worked up about it. If you find that you get over-emotional when thinking about it, then take a break, and return to it when you are ready again. You must work through this.
The reason working through it is so important is that it's the only way to get past it. It may seem impossible, but it can be done. You must confront those feelings, and the events that caused your lost love. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Each time you do it, you will find your feelings improving little by little.
The truth is that it doesn't work for everybody, so what if this isn't enough to make you feel better? Then it's time to get help from someone else. This can be a friend, member of the clergy or a counselor. Whom you choose isn't as important as the fact that you're getting some help. There is no reason why you need to feel miserable forever after a break up. And whether you ever try to work things out or not, ge
While it's not enough to make you feel 100% better, you can take at least a small measure of comfort from knowing that you are not alone. Countless people have had to deal with the same thing. Granted, no two situations are exactly the same, just as no two people are the same. However, there has been enough shared heartache over the centuries that some really good advice has been handed down.
Of course you feel awful, and that's perfectly normal. Guilt, anger, shame, confusion, doubt, sadness, depression, relief, and any number of other emotions all mix together. You're not really sure what to make of it. Sometimes you do quite well, and other times it's so painful that it seems as though you will never be the same again. Take heart! Just because you have lost love doesn't mean you have lost your mind...at least not permanently.
Take some time to get away from everything. Now, that doesn't mean you should crawl into a corner and wallow in self-pity. But you should try to clear your mind of the break for a while. If you have any vacation time from work, then now may be a good time to take it. A small vacation where you aren't surrounded by constant reminders of your past relationship is a good way to get the fresh perspective you need.
When you come back you can start to look at the relationship again. The key is not get too worked up about it. If you find that you get over-emotional when thinking about it, then take a break, and return to it when you are ready again. You must work through this.
The reason working through it is so important is that it's the only way to get past it. It may seem impossible, but it can be done. You must confront those feelings, and the events that caused your lost love. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Each time you do it, you will find your feelings improving little by little.
The truth is that it doesn't work for everybody, so what if this isn't enough to make you feel better? Then it's time to get help from someone else. This can be a friend, member of the clergy or a counselor. Whom you choose isn't as important as the fact that you're getting some help. There is no reason why you need to feel miserable forever after a break up. And whether you ever try to work things out or not, ge
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
4 Easy Ways To Relationship Self Help
Being in a loving relationship is one of the joys of life. However, most of them go through their fair share of ups and downs. If you happen to be in one of those down times, then a little relationship self help is just the thing you need.
The good news is that there are a lot of things you can start doing right to start patching things up. And even though things may seem really desperate right now, the truth is that almost any relationship can be saved if you're willing to do whatever needs to be done...so let's begin!
1. Just talk. A lot of people are surprised to find out just how many couples barely talk. They can live in the same house, and be in the same room with each other, but yet can go a whole day without uttering more than a few words. To make it worse, those few words are basically the same and have no real meaning to them. New research suggests that the more couples talk, the less likely they are to argue. It can be small talk about the weather, or how your day is going. It may not be easy at first, but the quality of your conversation will improve with practice.
2. Make eye contact. We're not talking about a quick glance, but rather a deep, long look into each other's eyes. A look that searches the soul and says "I care about you." If you haven't done this for a while, or if you generally have a hard time looking anybody in the eye, then this may be a bit uncomfortable at first. But if you are in need of some relationship self help, then this is a good habit to get into.
3. Spend time with each other. Just being together will help the two of you get to know each other all over again. If you like, you can plan "special" time together, such as dinner and a movie. However, you can also do things around the house together. It's not so much what you as much as it is that you're doing it together. But, don't fall into the same old routine. Remember to talk and make eye contact from time to time.
4. Get in touch. No, we're not talking about getting in touch with each other's feelings (though that is a good idea, too). Instead, we're talking about touching each other, physically. Not in a sexual way though, so calm down! A simple touch on the arm while talking, a quick shoulder rub, and a nice hug are just a few of the things you can due to connect on a physical level.
Doing these few things are a great way to get started on the right path to relationship self help. As mentioned, it may not be that easy at first, but it will be worth it. Once you start seeing the results, you will want to keep doing more.
The good news is that there are a lot of things you can start doing right to start patching things up. And even though things may seem really desperate right now, the truth is that almost any relationship can be saved if you're willing to do whatever needs to be done...so let's begin!
1. Just talk. A lot of people are surprised to find out just how many couples barely talk. They can live in the same house, and be in the same room with each other, but yet can go a whole day without uttering more than a few words. To make it worse, those few words are basically the same and have no real meaning to them. New research suggests that the more couples talk, the less likely they are to argue. It can be small talk about the weather, or how your day is going. It may not be easy at first, but the quality of your conversation will improve with practice.
2. Make eye contact. We're not talking about a quick glance, but rather a deep, long look into each other's eyes. A look that searches the soul and says "I care about you." If you haven't done this for a while, or if you generally have a hard time looking anybody in the eye, then this may be a bit uncomfortable at first. But if you are in need of some relationship self help, then this is a good habit to get into.
3. Spend time with each other. Just being together will help the two of you get to know each other all over again. If you like, you can plan "special" time together, such as dinner and a movie. However, you can also do things around the house together. It's not so much what you as much as it is that you're doing it together. But, don't fall into the same old routine. Remember to talk and make eye contact from time to time.
4. Get in touch. No, we're not talking about getting in touch with each other's feelings (though that is a good idea, too). Instead, we're talking about touching each other, physically. Not in a sexual way though, so calm down! A simple touch on the arm while talking, a quick shoulder rub, and a nice hug are just a few of the things you can due to connect on a physical level.
Doing these few things are a great way to get started on the right path to relationship self help. As mentioned, it may not be that easy at first, but it will be worth it. Once you start seeing the results, you will want to keep doing more.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Things To Avoid For Getting An Ex Back - 6 Tips
If you have just broken up from a relationship, whether it was a long marriage or just a few months of dating, either way you are probably feeling bad about it and wondering if there is any way to get an ex back. Most people will wonder this when they break up from a relationship but are still in love with their ex and the good news is that there are things that you can do to get your ex back. Along with the many things that you can do, there are also many mistakes that you can make, so here are some of the things you should avoid if you want to rekindle that lost love.
1. Don't constantly harass their friends. It is tempting to harass your ex's friends to find out what she is up to or if she is dating anyone else. This is just annoying to her friends and as such they will probably just complain to her about you and not have anything good to say.
2. Don't stalk your ex. Don't follow her around or turn up at her favorite hang out spots. Don't sit in your car outside her house and watch her every move. Don't text her 500 times a day telling her you love her and want her back. If you stalk her all you will do is annoy her and perhaps even begin to scare her and you could end up getting in trouble with the law over it.
3. Don't harass your ex's new partner. If she is seeing someone else don't harass him and try to cause trouble between them. Don't try to convince their new boyfriend that she'll never love them as much as she loves you, this will only make you look desperate and sad.
4. Don't call your ex's employer. If your ex is avoiding your calls don't try to get her to talk to you through her boss. Also don't call her boss to ask questions about her. All you will achieve with this is to get her in trouble and possibly even lose her job.
5. Don't call her every change you get. I know you just want to talk to her and try to work things out but if you call her constantly she will get sick of it and even angry. She might just need some space right now so you need to give her that.
6. Don't use anything they say against them. You won't win any fights by bringing up every little thing she said or did in the past and use it against her, particularly if you exaggerate things and make them much worse than they actually were.
These six points are things to avoid when you are trying to get your ex back. You want to get her back, not drive her further away so be careful in your approach. You want to give her some space and use that time yourself to decide what approach to take. It can be difficult playing the waiting game, but it will be worth it in the end.
1. Don't constantly harass their friends. It is tempting to harass your ex's friends to find out what she is up to or if she is dating anyone else. This is just annoying to her friends and as such they will probably just complain to her about you and not have anything good to say.
2. Don't stalk your ex. Don't follow her around or turn up at her favorite hang out spots. Don't sit in your car outside her house and watch her every move. Don't text her 500 times a day telling her you love her and want her back. If you stalk her all you will do is annoy her and perhaps even begin to scare her and you could end up getting in trouble with the law over it.
3. Don't harass your ex's new partner. If she is seeing someone else don't harass him and try to cause trouble between them. Don't try to convince their new boyfriend that she'll never love them as much as she loves you, this will only make you look desperate and sad.
4. Don't call your ex's employer. If your ex is avoiding your calls don't try to get her to talk to you through her boss. Also don't call her boss to ask questions about her. All you will achieve with this is to get her in trouble and possibly even lose her job.
5. Don't call her every change you get. I know you just want to talk to her and try to work things out but if you call her constantly she will get sick of it and even angry. She might just need some space right now so you need to give her that.
6. Don't use anything they say against them. You won't win any fights by bringing up every little thing she said or did in the past and use it against her, particularly if you exaggerate things and make them much worse than they actually were.
These six points are things to avoid when you are trying to get your ex back. You want to get her back, not drive her further away so be careful in your approach. You want to give her some space and use that time yourself to decide what approach to take. It can be difficult playing the waiting game, but it will be worth it in the end.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Why Do I Want My Ex Back - You May Not
It can be really tough when you are going through a break up and you will feel hurt and wonder how you will ever get over your ex. As time passes and you still miss your ex a great deal you will begin to wonder if there is anything that you can do to get your ex back. Before taking any steps to get your ex back you need to ask yourself the question "why do I want my ex back?"
This is a question that many people ask themselves when they find themselves in this situation. I'm sure you will have friends that tell you to let your ex go and move on with your life, but it isn't always as easy as that. This is someone that has played a very important role in your life and it is difficult to just let them go. Even though part of you thinks that this is the right thing to do, there is another part of you that just wants them back.
If you are asking yourself why you want your ex back then you need to consider what has happened between you recently. When you are going through a break up you face all sorts of emotions and often you just aren't thinking clearly so you need to clear your head and try to look at the situation clearly. You need to understand your feelings and try to distinguish between real feelings and feelings that are getting mixed up because of your current emotional state.
You need to ask yourself if it is this person that you really want back or is it the idea of a good, solid relationship that you want back. Relationships take time to build and it can be devastating when they fall apart and sometimes the emotions that you feel are caused by the fact that the relationship has failed rather than missing the actual person you were with. You need to ask yourself if this person really is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Is it the person that you want back or is it a relationship that you want back. You need to search deep into your heart and soul to find the answer to this question.
When you have cleared your mind and thought through everything carefully then you will know where you stand. You will know whether your mind is playing tricks with your emotions and that you really don't want this person back but instead it is the idea of a relationship that you miss. Or you may have decided that you really do love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them and so you want to do whatever it takes to get them back. If this is your choice then you have a big task ahead of you but if the two of you were meant to be together then you should be able to work it out.
If you really want your ex back then get in touch with them and ask to meet up for a coffee or go out to dinner to talk things over. Let them know how you feel and that you would like to give the relationship another go. There will be some changes that you may need to make because if the relationship has ended there must be some problems that need working through. If you are both willing to work through and resolve any problems then you might be able to make this relationship work. Just remember before taking any action toward getting your ex back that you really need to be sure by asking the question "why do I want my ex back?”
This is a question that many people ask themselves when they find themselves in this situation. I'm sure you will have friends that tell you to let your ex go and move on with your life, but it isn't always as easy as that. This is someone that has played a very important role in your life and it is difficult to just let them go. Even though part of you thinks that this is the right thing to do, there is another part of you that just wants them back.
If you are asking yourself why you want your ex back then you need to consider what has happened between you recently. When you are going through a break up you face all sorts of emotions and often you just aren't thinking clearly so you need to clear your head and try to look at the situation clearly. You need to understand your feelings and try to distinguish between real feelings and feelings that are getting mixed up because of your current emotional state.
You need to ask yourself if it is this person that you really want back or is it the idea of a good, solid relationship that you want back. Relationships take time to build and it can be devastating when they fall apart and sometimes the emotions that you feel are caused by the fact that the relationship has failed rather than missing the actual person you were with. You need to ask yourself if this person really is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Is it the person that you want back or is it a relationship that you want back. You need to search deep into your heart and soul to find the answer to this question.
When you have cleared your mind and thought through everything carefully then you will know where you stand. You will know whether your mind is playing tricks with your emotions and that you really don't want this person back but instead it is the idea of a relationship that you miss. Or you may have decided that you really do love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them and so you want to do whatever it takes to get them back. If this is your choice then you have a big task ahead of you but if the two of you were meant to be together then you should be able to work it out.
If you really want your ex back then get in touch with them and ask to meet up for a coffee or go out to dinner to talk things over. Let them know how you feel and that you would like to give the relationship another go. There will be some changes that you may need to make because if the relationship has ended there must be some problems that need working through. If you are both willing to work through and resolve any problems then you might be able to make this relationship work. Just remember before taking any action toward getting your ex back that you really need to be sure by asking the question "why do I want my ex back?”
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Is It Possible To Win Back Lost Love - Dont Make It Harder Than It Is
Trying to get back together with someone following a break up can be a difficult task. You are not alone being in this sad position of losing the one you love and wondering if there is anything that you can do to win back lost love. Perhaps you were the one who ended the relationship on the spur of the moment following a fight, but now that you've had time to think about it you have realized that you made a big mistake. There is no guarantee that you can win back your ex but there are some things that you can do to help increase your chance of success.
Firstly you need to remember that you are your own person and need to learn to live your life on your own. This is often a big mistake that people make when in a relationship is that they give up their own individuality and forget how to enjoy life on their own. To really love someone else you need to love yourself first so if you can enjoy yourself on your own then you are ready to enjoy yourself with someone else.
Next, look back on your relationship and think about what went wrong. What exactly was it that caused the break up? Was it something that happened as a one off situation that you over reacted to or had the relationship been showing signs of trouble for a long time? If you can find what went wrong with the relationship then you can take steps to fix it.
You need to be sure that you want to get back with your ex for the right reasons. Do you really love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them or do you just like the idea of being in a relationship? There is no point trying to win back lost love if it is just for the sake of being in a relationship, you really need to be in love with the person.
It is possible that your lost love has moved on with their life and if this is so then you may need to be careful in your approach. This doesn't mean that you can't win them back but it might need a different approach. If you approach your ex with their new partner and try to get them back then they may think you're a little crazy. You also shouldn't approach their new partner and make threats or even constantly tell them how she should be with you and not him. It would be best to get your ex on her own and discuss the situation with her and if she has any feelings left for you at all then she should be willing to discuss the situation. If she has no feelings for you anymore and is in love with this new person then you will need to let her go and move on.
People change over time so if this relationship ended quite some time ago then the person you were once with may have changed and not be the same person you were in love with. You may think you want her back and when you get to know her again you may realize that you don't love this person anymore. You will also have changed over time and the two of you may not be a perfect match anymore. It is possible that you could fall in love with each other again so it is worth a try but just remember that you have both changed so things might not be what you expect.
You will need to take time to rekindle the relationship and get to know each other again so don't go rushing into anything. If you are realistic about the situation there is no reason why you can't win back lost love and have a happy future together.
Firstly you need to remember that you are your own person and need to learn to live your life on your own. This is often a big mistake that people make when in a relationship is that they give up their own individuality and forget how to enjoy life on their own. To really love someone else you need to love yourself first so if you can enjoy yourself on your own then you are ready to enjoy yourself with someone else.
Next, look back on your relationship and think about what went wrong. What exactly was it that caused the break up? Was it something that happened as a one off situation that you over reacted to or had the relationship been showing signs of trouble for a long time? If you can find what went wrong with the relationship then you can take steps to fix it.
You need to be sure that you want to get back with your ex for the right reasons. Do you really love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them or do you just like the idea of being in a relationship? There is no point trying to win back lost love if it is just for the sake of being in a relationship, you really need to be in love with the person.
It is possible that your lost love has moved on with their life and if this is so then you may need to be careful in your approach. This doesn't mean that you can't win them back but it might need a different approach. If you approach your ex with their new partner and try to get them back then they may think you're a little crazy. You also shouldn't approach their new partner and make threats or even constantly tell them how she should be with you and not him. It would be best to get your ex on her own and discuss the situation with her and if she has any feelings left for you at all then she should be willing to discuss the situation. If she has no feelings for you anymore and is in love with this new person then you will need to let her go and move on.
People change over time so if this relationship ended quite some time ago then the person you were once with may have changed and not be the same person you were in love with. You may think you want her back and when you get to know her again you may realize that you don't love this person anymore. You will also have changed over time and the two of you may not be a perfect match anymore. It is possible that you could fall in love with each other again so it is worth a try but just remember that you have both changed so things might not be what you expect.
You will need to take time to rekindle the relationship and get to know each other again so don't go rushing into anything. If you are realistic about the situation there is no reason why you can't win back lost love and have a happy future together.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Is It Possible To Get A Woman Back - If You Work At It
Break ups are hard and most of us have been through them at some stage. Some guys can act like real jerks when it comes to breaking up or perhaps act like jerks beforehand which has caused the break up. They may not mean to act like jerks, it's just their nature, but if you have acted like a jerk and as a result lost the woman you love then it has become a problem. Women will also put up with bad behavior for so long and then they won't take it anymore. So if you want to get a woman back maybe it's time you stopped acting like a jerk!
Of course you don't want to change the person that you are to suit anyone but if the way that you act hurts or offends others then perhaps it is time to change. Here are some tips on how you can get a woman back even when you've acted like a big jerk.
1. Many men think of women as their property or as objects so the first thing you need to do is change the way you think about women. Women are people and have feelings and they deserve respect. A relationship won't work if you don't respect each other so it's time you started showing her some respect. When you think about it, you are the one here looking for advice on how to get a woman back so that just goes to show that perhaps you didn't treat her with respect.
2. Change the way that you treat women. It is more than just changing the way you think about women but you also need to change the way that you treat them. Don't be a jerk every time you are around women, instead act like a gentleman. You should treat all women this way regardless of whether you are trying to win them back or not. If she sees you interacting with another woman and being a jerk then you will lose any chance of winning her back.
3. Forget about the macho image. You don't have to be the best at everything and you don't need to prove a point all the time. Practice being humble and demonstrate restraint when required. Trying to be the best all the time or to act like you are better than everyone else only makes you look like a jerk.
4. Admit to her that you were a jerk. Don't try to cover up what you did wrong and don't get angry if she says you acted like a jerk. Being able to admit that you are wrong is a big point toward getting a woman back. Tell her you realize you were a jerk and apologize for it.
5. Give her space. When a relationship ends a woman needs some space to think about things. Don't rush straight over to try and work things out, you need to give her some time and some space. If you try and force her to talk to you when she isn't ready then you are just acting like a jerk again. It's all about respect so if she needs some time then you need to respect that.
6. When she is ready to talk to you then you need to show her that you have changed. You can tell her you've changed but words are just words, it is much more effective if you show her. Actions speak louder than words remember so she needs to see for herself that you really have changed.
If you want a serious relationship to work then it's time that you grow up and stop acting like a jerk and if you can do that then you should be able to get a woman back and start over.
Of course you don't want to change the person that you are to suit anyone but if the way that you act hurts or offends others then perhaps it is time to change. Here are some tips on how you can get a woman back even when you've acted like a big jerk.
1. Many men think of women as their property or as objects so the first thing you need to do is change the way you think about women. Women are people and have feelings and they deserve respect. A relationship won't work if you don't respect each other so it's time you started showing her some respect. When you think about it, you are the one here looking for advice on how to get a woman back so that just goes to show that perhaps you didn't treat her with respect.
2. Change the way that you treat women. It is more than just changing the way you think about women but you also need to change the way that you treat them. Don't be a jerk every time you are around women, instead act like a gentleman. You should treat all women this way regardless of whether you are trying to win them back or not. If she sees you interacting with another woman and being a jerk then you will lose any chance of winning her back.
3. Forget about the macho image. You don't have to be the best at everything and you don't need to prove a point all the time. Practice being humble and demonstrate restraint when required. Trying to be the best all the time or to act like you are better than everyone else only makes you look like a jerk.
4. Admit to her that you were a jerk. Don't try to cover up what you did wrong and don't get angry if she says you acted like a jerk. Being able to admit that you are wrong is a big point toward getting a woman back. Tell her you realize you were a jerk and apologize for it.
5. Give her space. When a relationship ends a woman needs some space to think about things. Don't rush straight over to try and work things out, you need to give her some time and some space. If you try and force her to talk to you when she isn't ready then you are just acting like a jerk again. It's all about respect so if she needs some time then you need to respect that.
6. When she is ready to talk to you then you need to show her that you have changed. You can tell her you've changed but words are just words, it is much more effective if you show her. Actions speak louder than words remember so she needs to see for herself that you really have changed.
If you want a serious relationship to work then it's time that you grow up and stop acting like a jerk and if you can do that then you should be able to get a woman back and start over.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Live In A Wife Led Relationship
What is a wife led relationship? Sure there may be times when you simply agree to your wife's decisions (often to stop her nagging) but that isn't typically what is referred to as a wife led relationship. This type of relationship is more when the wife becomes the dominant partner and the husband is completely submissive.
There are different degrees to wife led relationships with some having the wife only mildly dominant and perhaps only in certain circumstances. Then there are the more severe situations when the man is like a slave to the woman and does everything she requests. The man will make no decisions whatsoever regarding anything in the relationship or the home; it will all be done by the woman. The man will basically be a slave to the woman. They will appear reasonably normal in public but you will still find that the woman is making the decisions.
Some men actually like being the submissive one in the relationship and may find themselves not being as submissive as they like because the wife isn't all that comfortable with it. In a lesser degree of being submissive a man may just hand over the major decision making to his wife but still have some control himself.
Although some women enjoy being the dominant party, some women will find it very off putting, particularly if you are asking her to be the fully dominant partner, which is what a true wife led relationship is. The man is a slave to the woman and will do everything for her.
The man will do all the chores, cleaning and cooking around the house and she may bark out orders to him and he will run and do them. Although she may want to help out around the house, men that like this type of relationship will want her to expect him to do it all. They enjoy being treated like a slave.
In a wife led relationship the woman has complete control over their sexual relationship also. The man will actually expect her to use sex as a reward for completing his chores or even as a punishment when he doesn't please her. If a woman does a chore in the home the man may be disappointed because he cannot do that chore himself and be rewarded for it.
If the wife is please with her husband’s performance with his chores then she will reward him by pleasing him sexually and this is what the man looks forward to. However, if she is not happy with her husband’s work around the home then she may deny him pleasure of his own while he has to please her and give her pleasure.
Some men will like the sexual side of a wife led relationship and even enjoy when pleasure is withheld as it makes it more exciting when they are rewarded next. Other men aren't as interested in the sexual enjoyment of a wife led relationship but just like the idea of the woman being the dominant partner and making the decisions.
If you think you would like to try a wife led relationship then certainly discuss the idea with your wife. She may be pleased to join in if you are offering to do more around the home but be prepared for her to treat you like a slave.
You can give it a test run and see how it goes and if you both enjoy it then you might continue to have an enjoyable wife led relationship.
There are different degrees to wife led relationships with some having the wife only mildly dominant and perhaps only in certain circumstances. Then there are the more severe situations when the man is like a slave to the woman and does everything she requests. The man will make no decisions whatsoever regarding anything in the relationship or the home; it will all be done by the woman. The man will basically be a slave to the woman. They will appear reasonably normal in public but you will still find that the woman is making the decisions.
Some men actually like being the submissive one in the relationship and may find themselves not being as submissive as they like because the wife isn't all that comfortable with it. In a lesser degree of being submissive a man may just hand over the major decision making to his wife but still have some control himself.
Although some women enjoy being the dominant party, some women will find it very off putting, particularly if you are asking her to be the fully dominant partner, which is what a true wife led relationship is. The man is a slave to the woman and will do everything for her.
The man will do all the chores, cleaning and cooking around the house and she may bark out orders to him and he will run and do them. Although she may want to help out around the house, men that like this type of relationship will want her to expect him to do it all. They enjoy being treated like a slave.
In a wife led relationship the woman has complete control over their sexual relationship also. The man will actually expect her to use sex as a reward for completing his chores or even as a punishment when he doesn't please her. If a woman does a chore in the home the man may be disappointed because he cannot do that chore himself and be rewarded for it.
If the wife is please with her husband’s performance with his chores then she will reward him by pleasing him sexually and this is what the man looks forward to. However, if she is not happy with her husband’s work around the home then she may deny him pleasure of his own while he has to please her and give her pleasure.
Some men will like the sexual side of a wife led relationship and even enjoy when pleasure is withheld as it makes it more exciting when they are rewarded next. Other men aren't as interested in the sexual enjoyment of a wife led relationship but just like the idea of the woman being the dominant partner and making the decisions.
If you think you would like to try a wife led relationship then certainly discuss the idea with your wife. She may be pleased to join in if you are offering to do more around the home but be prepared for her to treat you like a slave.
You can give it a test run and see how it goes and if you both enjoy it then you might continue to have an enjoyable wife led relationship.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
How To Get Back With Your Ex
Just about every single person above a certain age has, at one time or another, experienced the pain of a relationship coming to an end. Trying to forget about it and moving on is the way the majority of people try to deal with it. That's a shame. Why? Because the vast majority of relationships can be saved if at least one of the people is willing to do whatever it takes. If you are such a person, then you need to know how to get back with an ex.
The first thing you need to do if you want to get back together is to take an honest look at why the break up really happened. Be careful because this is often harder than it sounds. You may notice the things that were at the surface, but those are usually just the symptoms of something deeper. For example, you may think you broke up because the two of you argued all the time. But the real question is what was the cause of the arguing? Did one of you have control issues? Were you quick to lose your temper? Was there a lack of communication? Trust? Either way, you need to dig down deep and get to the root of the problems before you can move forward.
The next step of how to get back with your ex is to start working on solutions to those problems on your own. You can work on making any changes in yourself, as they relate to your part in the problems you had. If you had no part whatsoever in the break up, then you need to rethink that belief. It always takes two, and while one person may be worthy of more blame, there is still some blame that is for you to bear. However, you can start to fix those things...but only when you know what they really are.
Once you have those things worked out, you can contact your ex. You may be tempted to lay everything on them and tell them all of the problems you have worked out, and how everything will be just perfect as soon as you are together again. Resist that temptation. Everybody is different, and your ex probably isn't in the same frame of mind as far as the possibility of working things out goes. That doesn't mean your chances are shot, it just means they need some more time. That's why you don't want to come on too strong.
The next part of how to get your ex back is to set up a meeting. This is not meant to be a date, so don't call it that, and don't treat it like one. (The only exception is if your ex brings it up first and also wants to get back together.) Keep this meeting friendly, and use it as a chance to let your ex know about some of the things you've been thinking about. Don't be pushy, and don't tell them you're ready to reunite. You don't want to scare them off. In fact, the whole purpose of this first meeting is to have your ex agree to a second meeting. Take things as they come and you will be back together before you know it.
The first thing you need to do if you want to get back together is to take an honest look at why the break up really happened. Be careful because this is often harder than it sounds. You may notice the things that were at the surface, but those are usually just the symptoms of something deeper. For example, you may think you broke up because the two of you argued all the time. But the real question is what was the cause of the arguing? Did one of you have control issues? Were you quick to lose your temper? Was there a lack of communication? Trust? Either way, you need to dig down deep and get to the root of the problems before you can move forward.
The next step of how to get back with your ex is to start working on solutions to those problems on your own. You can work on making any changes in yourself, as they relate to your part in the problems you had. If you had no part whatsoever in the break up, then you need to rethink that belief. It always takes two, and while one person may be worthy of more blame, there is still some blame that is for you to bear. However, you can start to fix those things...but only when you know what they really are.
Once you have those things worked out, you can contact your ex. You may be tempted to lay everything on them and tell them all of the problems you have worked out, and how everything will be just perfect as soon as you are together again. Resist that temptation. Everybody is different, and your ex probably isn't in the same frame of mind as far as the possibility of working things out goes. That doesn't mean your chances are shot, it just means they need some more time. That's why you don't want to come on too strong.
The next part of how to get your ex back is to set up a meeting. This is not meant to be a date, so don't call it that, and don't treat it like one. (The only exception is if your ex brings it up first and also wants to get back together.) Keep this meeting friendly, and use it as a chance to let your ex know about some of the things you've been thinking about. Don't be pushy, and don't tell them you're ready to reunite. You don't want to scare them off. In fact, the whole purpose of this first meeting is to have your ex agree to a second meeting. Take things as they come and you will be back together before you know it.
How To Get Back With Your Ex
Just about every single person above a certain age has, at one time or another, experienced the pain of a relationship coming to an end. Trying to forget about it and moving on is the way the majority of people try to deal with it. That's a shame. Why? Because the vast majority of relationships can be saved if at least one of the people is willing to do whatever it takes. If you are such a person, then you need to know how to get back with an ex.
The first thing you need to do if you want to get back together is to take an honest look at why the break up really happened. Be careful because this is often harder than it sounds. You may notice the things that were at the surface, but those are usually just the symptoms of something deeper. For example, you may think you broke up because the two of you argued all the time. But the real question is what was the cause of the arguing? Did one of you have control issues? Were you quick to lose your temper? Was there a lack of communication? Trust? Either way, you need to dig down deep and get to the root of the problems before you can move forward.
The next step of how to get back with your ex is to start working on solutions to those problems on your own. You can work on making any changes in yourself, as they relate to your part in the problems you had. If you had no part whatsoever in the break up, then you need to rethink that belief. It always takes two, and while one person may be worthy of more blame, there is still some blame that is for you to bear. However, you can start to fix those things...but only when you know what they really are.
Once you have those things worked out, you can contact your ex. You may be tempted to lay everything on them and tell them all of the problems you have worked out, and how everything will be just perfect as soon as you are together again. Resist that temptation. Everybody is different, and your ex probably isn't in the same frame of mind as far as the possibility of working things out goes. That doesn't mean your chances are shot, it just means they need some more time. That's why you don't want to come on too strong.
The next part of how to get your ex back is to set up a meeting. This is not meant to be a date, so don't call it that, and don't treat it like one. (The only exception is if your ex brings it up first and also wants to get back together.) Keep this meeting friendly, and use it as a chance to let your ex know about some of the things you've been thinking about. Don't be pushy, and don't tell them you're ready to reunite. You don't want to scare them off. In fact, the whole purpose of this first meeting is to have your ex agree to a second meeting. Take things as they come and you will be back together before you know it.
The first thing you need to do if you want to get back together is to take an honest look at why the break up really happened. Be careful because this is often harder than it sounds. You may notice the things that were at the surface, but those are usually just the symptoms of something deeper. For example, you may think you broke up because the two of you argued all the time. But the real question is what was the cause of the arguing? Did one of you have control issues? Were you quick to lose your temper? Was there a lack of communication? Trust? Either way, you need to dig down deep and get to the root of the problems before you can move forward.
The next step of how to get back with your ex is to start working on solutions to those problems on your own. You can work on making any changes in yourself, as they relate to your part in the problems you had. If you had no part whatsoever in the break up, then you need to rethink that belief. It always takes two, and while one person may be worthy of more blame, there is still some blame that is for you to bear. However, you can start to fix those things...but only when you know what they really are.
Once you have those things worked out, you can contact your ex. You may be tempted to lay everything on them and tell them all of the problems you have worked out, and how everything will be just perfect as soon as you are together again. Resist that temptation. Everybody is different, and your ex probably isn't in the same frame of mind as far as the possibility of working things out goes. That doesn't mean your chances are shot, it just means they need some more time. That's why you don't want to come on too strong.
The next part of how to get your ex back is to set up a meeting. This is not meant to be a date, so don't call it that, and don't treat it like one. (The only exception is if your ex brings it up first and also wants to get back together.) Keep this meeting friendly, and use it as a chance to let your ex know about some of the things you've been thinking about. Don't be pushy, and don't tell them you're ready to reunite. You don't want to scare them off. In fact, the whole purpose of this first meeting is to have your ex agree to a second meeting. Take things as they come and you will be back together before you know it.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Relationship Psychology Makes Things Better
The perfect relationship. Nothing goes wrong. Both of you are perfectly happy all the time. While we may wish for it, it simply doesn't exist. To be honest, it's the imperfections that make being together so interesting. Perhaps that's why relationship psychology is such a popular subject. One of the ways a lot of people use it is to patch things up when they get rocky, or even after a break up has happened.
The general principle behind relationship psychology is to teach both partners to recognize certain behaviors in themselves and the other person, and to arm them with effective ways of handling problems when they arise. The reason it's important to learn about it is that no two people are alike. It's typical for people to think other people think like them. In other words, they project their own point of view onto the other person, and then get frustrated when that person acts in a way that doesn't line up with their pre-conceived notions.
A large part of the problem is that the sexes tend to think so much differently from one another. For example, men tend to place more emphasis on actions. So, when a woman keeps insisting on talking things out, the man will try to avoid it. And if they can't avoid, they usually won't enjoy it. But, the catch is that women, generally speaking, do need to talk about things. Relationship psychology takes care of that problem by using this information and finding a solution that makes both parties happy.
You may not be able to have a perfect relationship, but what if you could have a happy one with virtually no arguing; where both of you feel fulfilled; where both of you feel loved and freely give love. It's not impossible. Sure, it can take some time to learn these new techniques, but it's more than worth it when you start seeing the results.
But what if you are trying to get your ex back? Psychology still works! The key is to try to get back together, but to do it in a way that's not too pushy. If you try to hard, your ex may pull even further back, and you could ruin any chances of working things out that you may have had. Knowing how your ex's mind works will give you the edge you need to get them back.
Now, you shouldn't use relationship psychology lightly, or for the wrong reasons. It's powerful stuff, and you are dealing with somebody else's life. That being said, as long as your motivations are pure, then there is nothing wrong with learning and using these tricks so the two of you can be happy together.
Having somebody special in your life is essential to being completely happy. There are times when it will take a lot of work, and other times things will be running smoothly. Either way, you can put the power of relationship psychology to work for you.
The general principle behind relationship psychology is to teach both partners to recognize certain behaviors in themselves and the other person, and to arm them with effective ways of handling problems when they arise. The reason it's important to learn about it is that no two people are alike. It's typical for people to think other people think like them. In other words, they project their own point of view onto the other person, and then get frustrated when that person acts in a way that doesn't line up with their pre-conceived notions.
A large part of the problem is that the sexes tend to think so much differently from one another. For example, men tend to place more emphasis on actions. So, when a woman keeps insisting on talking things out, the man will try to avoid it. And if they can't avoid, they usually won't enjoy it. But, the catch is that women, generally speaking, do need to talk about things. Relationship psychology takes care of that problem by using this information and finding a solution that makes both parties happy.
You may not be able to have a perfect relationship, but what if you could have a happy one with virtually no arguing; where both of you feel fulfilled; where both of you feel loved and freely give love. It's not impossible. Sure, it can take some time to learn these new techniques, but it's more than worth it when you start seeing the results.
But what if you are trying to get your ex back? Psychology still works! The key is to try to get back together, but to do it in a way that's not too pushy. If you try to hard, your ex may pull even further back, and you could ruin any chances of working things out that you may have had. Knowing how your ex's mind works will give you the edge you need to get them back.
Now, you shouldn't use relationship psychology lightly, or for the wrong reasons. It's powerful stuff, and you are dealing with somebody else's life. That being said, as long as your motivations are pure, then there is nothing wrong with learning and using these tricks so the two of you can be happy together.
Having somebody special in your life is essential to being completely happy. There are times when it will take a lot of work, and other times things will be running smoothly. Either way, you can put the power of relationship psychology to work for you.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Simple Relationship Rescue Techniques
Wouldn't it be great if all relationships were happy all of the time? Maybe, but we all live in the real world, and that means we often face real problems. Sure, they may start off really well, and the two of you are so in love that it's amazing, but then things start to change. The novelty starts to wear off, and before you know it you're looking for relationship rescue methods in the hopes of staying together. If any of this sounds familiar, then you are not alone. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do, as you will see.
The most important thing for you to realize is that your relationship is worth rescuing. If you disagree with this, then you need to find out why. What other things are going on? Why aren't you so sure about making things better? If there is something holding you back, you will need to fix that first before you move on to working things out. From here on out we will talk as though you truly want to improve as a couple.
Taking each other for granted is one of the biggest threats to having a strong relationship. However, this pattern can be hard to detect because, well, you're taking things for granted. The way to combat this is to take a step back and look at things objectively. Then try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and ask yourself how you would react to your behavior if you were them. Also, do your best to stop taking them for granted. Don't assume anything about their motives or feelings, but at the same appreciate the things they do.
You will need to reopen the lines of communication. If they were never really open, then you will have to learn how to talk to each other in a healthy way. This can be difficult, but you can learn how to do it with practice. The small investment you make in learning how to talk to each other will pay off in a big way in the long run; besides, it sure beats arguing all the time.
A really good relationship rescue technique is to live as though each day could be the last one you will ever spend with your partner. When you do this, all of those little things that annoy you won't really matter. You will have a new appreciation for what you have, and you will focus much less on the negative things. Doing this will put the two of you on the right track to being a healthy couple.
Remember, you do not have to accept a bad relationship. You can use relationship rescue techniques to make things better. It may not always be easy, especially if you have had a lot of time to develop bad habits as a couple, but it will be more than worth it when the two of you are happy again.
The most important thing for you to realize is that your relationship is worth rescuing. If you disagree with this, then you need to find out why. What other things are going on? Why aren't you so sure about making things better? If there is something holding you back, you will need to fix that first before you move on to working things out. From here on out we will talk as though you truly want to improve as a couple.
Taking each other for granted is one of the biggest threats to having a strong relationship. However, this pattern can be hard to detect because, well, you're taking things for granted. The way to combat this is to take a step back and look at things objectively. Then try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and ask yourself how you would react to your behavior if you were them. Also, do your best to stop taking them for granted. Don't assume anything about their motives or feelings, but at the same appreciate the things they do.
You will need to reopen the lines of communication. If they were never really open, then you will have to learn how to talk to each other in a healthy way. This can be difficult, but you can learn how to do it with practice. The small investment you make in learning how to talk to each other will pay off in a big way in the long run; besides, it sure beats arguing all the time.
A really good relationship rescue technique is to live as though each day could be the last one you will ever spend with your partner. When you do this, all of those little things that annoy you won't really matter. You will have a new appreciation for what you have, and you will focus much less on the negative things. Doing this will put the two of you on the right track to being a healthy couple.
Remember, you do not have to accept a bad relationship. You can use relationship rescue techniques to make things better. It may not always be easy, especially if you have had a lot of time to develop bad habits as a couple, but it will be more than worth it when the two of you are happy again.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
How To Win Love Back For Real
It seems like human nature to get into a rut in our relationships. When this happens we start to take our partner for granted. It's not even that we expect them to do certain things or behave a certain way; it's not a conscious thought at all. If you are on the verge of a break up, or have recently gone through one, then you know how true this is. The good news is that you can turn things around if you are willing to do whatever it takes to be happy together.
As you may have already guessed, the first step to winning back love is to stop taking it for granted. You need to appreciate your partner, who they are, what they mean to you, and also what the relationship means you. Once you start looking at things this way, you will regain a healthy perspective. You will start to notice those things about your partner that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
One of the rules of life is that you can only change yourself. So, while you are seeing your relationship in a new light, your partner may not. Remember, you can't force them to change. However, you can definitely have a big influence on their behavior. How so? Through your own actions. The last thing you want to do is get all preachy, as this will only push them further away. Instead, start acting like you're not taking them for granted.
Now, they may not even notice that you have changed, at least not in a way that they're aware of. But stick with it, and you can be sure they will start to change themselves. Don't point it out, but encourage it indirectly by rewarding it. This may seem like manipulation, and it may be, but it's being done for the right reasons. After all, if you want to win love back, and they don't want to love you, then they won't. So, don't think of it as manipulation, but rather as a way to give the two of you a chance to fall back in love without having to resort to the emotional equivalent of brute force.
It is absolutely vital that you're motivations are good, otherwise everything will backfire. If you try to win back love for the wrong reasons, and you're successful, then things will turn sour. It will be virtually guaranteed that the relationship will come to an end. However, if you do it for the right reasons, and it works, then the two of you could be happy for many, many years to come. Either way, it won't always be easy, but if you really love each other, then it will be worthwhile.
All of this may sound great, but there is a catch. You actually have to follow through on it. You need to take the first step. It doesn't matter what that first step is, what matters is that you do something, anything, to win love back. You'll be glad you did.
As you may have already guessed, the first step to winning back love is to stop taking it for granted. You need to appreciate your partner, who they are, what they mean to you, and also what the relationship means you. Once you start looking at things this way, you will regain a healthy perspective. You will start to notice those things about your partner that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
One of the rules of life is that you can only change yourself. So, while you are seeing your relationship in a new light, your partner may not. Remember, you can't force them to change. However, you can definitely have a big influence on their behavior. How so? Through your own actions. The last thing you want to do is get all preachy, as this will only push them further away. Instead, start acting like you're not taking them for granted.
Now, they may not even notice that you have changed, at least not in a way that they're aware of. But stick with it, and you can be sure they will start to change themselves. Don't point it out, but encourage it indirectly by rewarding it. This may seem like manipulation, and it may be, but it's being done for the right reasons. After all, if you want to win love back, and they don't want to love you, then they won't. So, don't think of it as manipulation, but rather as a way to give the two of you a chance to fall back in love without having to resort to the emotional equivalent of brute force.
It is absolutely vital that you're motivations are good, otherwise everything will backfire. If you try to win back love for the wrong reasons, and you're successful, then things will turn sour. It will be virtually guaranteed that the relationship will come to an end. However, if you do it for the right reasons, and it works, then the two of you could be happy for many, many years to come. Either way, it won't always be easy, but if you really love each other, then it will be worthwhile.
All of this may sound great, but there is a catch. You actually have to follow through on it. You need to take the first step. It doesn't matter what that first step is, what matters is that you do something, anything, to win love back. You'll be glad you did.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Things To Avoid For Getting An Ex Back - 6 Tips
If you have just broken up from a relationship, whether it was a long marriage or just a few months of dating, either way you are probably feeling bad about it and wondering if there is any way to get an ex back. Most people will wonder this when they break up from a relationship but are still in love with their ex and the good news is that there are things that you can do to get your ex back. Along with the many things that you can do, there are also many mistakes that you can make, so here are some of the things you should avoid if you want to rekindle that lost love.
1. Don't constantly harass their friends. It is tempting to harass your ex's friends to find out what she is up to or if she is dating anyone else. This is just annoying to her friends and as such they will probably just complain to her about you and not have anything good to say.
2. Don't stalk your ex. Don't follow her around or turn up at her favorite hang out spots. Don't sit in your car outside her house and watch her every move. Don't text her 500 times a day telling her you love her and want her back. If you stalk her all you will do is annoy her and perhaps even begin to scare her and you could end up getting in trouble with the law over it.
3. Don't harass your ex's new partner. If she is seeing someone else don't harass him and try to cause trouble between them. Don't try to convince their new boyfriend that she'll never love them as much as she loves you, this will only make you look desperate and sad.
4. Don't call your ex's employer. If your ex is avoiding your calls don't try to get her to talk to you through her boss. Also don't call her boss to ask questions about her. All you will achieve with this is to get her in trouble and possibly even lose her job.
5. Don't call her every change you get. I know you just want to talk to her and try to work things out but if you call her constantly she will get sick of it and even angry. She might just need some space right now so you need to give her that.
6. Don't use anything they say against them. You won't win any fights by bringing up every little thing she said or did in the past and use it against her, particularly if you exaggerate things and make them much worse than they actually were.
These six points are things to avoid when you are trying to get your ex back. You want to get her back, not drive her further away so be careful in your approach. You want to give her some space and use that time yourself to decide what approach to take. It can be difficult playing the waiting game, but it will be worth it in the end.
1. Don't constantly harass their friends. It is tempting to harass your ex's friends to find out what she is up to or if she is dating anyone else. This is just annoying to her friends and as such they will probably just complain to her about you and not have anything good to say.
2. Don't stalk your ex. Don't follow her around or turn up at her favorite hang out spots. Don't sit in your car outside her house and watch her every move. Don't text her 500 times a day telling her you love her and want her back. If you stalk her all you will do is annoy her and perhaps even begin to scare her and you could end up getting in trouble with the law over it.
3. Don't harass your ex's new partner. If she is seeing someone else don't harass him and try to cause trouble between them. Don't try to convince their new boyfriend that she'll never love them as much as she loves you, this will only make you look desperate and sad.
4. Don't call your ex's employer. If your ex is avoiding your calls don't try to get her to talk to you through her boss. Also don't call her boss to ask questions about her. All you will achieve with this is to get her in trouble and possibly even lose her job.
5. Don't call her every change you get. I know you just want to talk to her and try to work things out but if you call her constantly she will get sick of it and even angry. She might just need some space right now so you need to give her that.
6. Don't use anything they say against them. You won't win any fights by bringing up every little thing she said or did in the past and use it against her, particularly if you exaggerate things and make them much worse than they actually were.
These six points are things to avoid when you are trying to get your ex back. You want to get her back, not drive her further away so be careful in your approach. You want to give her some space and use that time yourself to decide what approach to take. It can be difficult playing the waiting game, but it will be worth it in the end.
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