Saturday, June 6, 2009

Ending A Relationship Know When To Stay And When To Go

When ending a relationship, it is important to know how to end a relationship the right way and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has troubles needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the correct determination.

A few relationships genuinely do need to end. If your spouse is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you are on the other side, and you are having trouble controlling your temper, then you are obligated to break up with the other individual for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it is clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other individual wants to get married and you do not, that's a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with somebody else, that's a sign.

Ending a relationship should not follow a big fight. This is how good relationships wind up being broken apart when there's no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other individual, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it properly so that you can both move on. There are 3 basic guidelines you need to follow:

Do not Play Games - Nobody likes to break up with somebody. That's normal, but there's a temptation to try and make the other individual do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other individual into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make certain you treat the other individual with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will merely make you both miserable.

Do it in Person - Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It's very enticing to bring the relationship to the end by e-mail or telephone or, these days, text message. That way, you do not have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But plainly, this is no way to end a relationship. If you don't interact with the other individual whilst breaking up, you will not have any sort of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in the flesh in a relatively private place.

Be Honest - You need to tell the other individual precisely why you're ending the relationship. This Is not easy, because they'll have a tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the fact is that lying to them about the reasons does not help either of you. Be honest, even if they do not want to hear it.

If you follow these 3 tips, you'll find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you may find that the troubles you have are repairable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

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