Sunday, June 7, 2009

How To Save Your Relationship After Adultery

After adultery a relationship is the weakest it is ever in all likelihood to be, but this may be a good thing. This sounds like it's difficult to believe, but the fact is that the time after adultery is also the time that could make or break a relationship, which could be a huge opportunity.

Nobody likes to be cheated on. Nobody should be cheated on. But cheating Is not the problem, it is the symptom. There's always a greater problem underlying the unfaithfulness and if there's anything good to come after adultery, it is knowing that there's a problem that you need to address.

The time when a relationship is at its weakest is also the best time to do the work that will bring it to being its strongest. There's an idea in the military that you need to tear an individual down so that you are able to build them back up, stronger than they ever were before, and this is true in relationships also.

After adultery what your relationships needs is a total overhaul. This Is not optional, because if you try to just go back to the way things were, then what you will find is that history will just repeat itself. You need to begin over and build things back up from the bottom. Tear it down to bring it back stronger than it was before.

The first thing you need to do is spend some time separate. This might seem counter intuitive since you are dealing with an after adultery situation, when the urge may be to not let your partner out of your sight for a single moment. But the time apart will allow you to see your relationship from another angle, and this view will be crucial for the relationship repair process.

The next thing you need to do is to work out precisely what the problem was, and the answer to this question is not 'they were sleeping with somebody else'. You need to find the deep down problem that was behind the unfaithfulness, and you need to do something about the problem.

After you have done those two things, it is time for you to begin the relationship over. The key part is to do it from the start. Go on dates once again. Begin over just as if you were dating someone else. You need to treat this as a new relationship because if you want to repair your relationship after adultery, then it has to be a new relationship.

Although you are being building a new relationship after adultery, you do need to keep in mind the problems that made all this essential. The idea here Is not to have the same relationship you had before, the idea is to have a better one, and this means you need to avoid making the same mistakes.

Rebuilding a relationship after adultery will be difficult, but it will also be one of the most worthwhile things you can do. Remember, there's help available out there, and seeking it out one of the best things you are able to do for your relationship.

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