Traci wanted to get guy back. She was not in a good position to do so all the same. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.
Now Traci is remorseful and she wants to get guy back. Regrettably, the guy does not want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. What’s a girl to do?
Firstly, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he does not want to listen to her, she should compose a note.
There are 3 components to a genuine apology. Firstly, there's a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there's an introspection as to why she did it. Lastly, there's a commitment to not do it again.
For example, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I hurt you badly and I am sorry. In the future, I'll be careful not to lash out at you when I am feeling crummy about myself.”
Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she has said. This might just take a couple of minutes or it may take days. If he’s not initially receptive, she shouldn't contact him until he contacts her. That means that she should not call, e-mail, or text him. She should not engage him on social networks. She should not send him gifts or letters.
She should likewise avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there's always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.
Rather, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, sooner or later, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Traci’s chance to strike.
She should keep things light. She should not go overboard and tell him how much she has missed him or how sorry she is about the state of affairs.
Rather, she should bring up a few of the positive experiences they have shared. If that goes over well, she can discuss the little things that she has missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffeehouse.
If he's agreeable to coffee, they can talk about more weighty subjects. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error once again. At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.
Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She's also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she does not have to do a great deal of work to get guy back.
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