Many people are uncomfortable with airing their 'dirty laundry' in public. They just don't want to sit down with a therapist and hash out their troubles. They do, however, want help for those trouble and for those people relationship self help is as close as the internet.
There are many fine books and other resources online that will help the two of you find your way back to the love you once felt for each other. You don't have to go to a therapist if that idea makes you uncomfortable, you can do it yourself.
If you are unsure where to start, simply do a search for forums that are centered around relationships. Here you will likely be able to get recommendations on some great self help resources, as well as some excellent advice from others in the forum.
If you want to get started right now, here are some tipsand ideas on where to get started:
1. I hate to ask, don't get mad, but the first thing to consider is are you really sure your partner cares about the relationship as much as you do? It's really easy to convince yourself that your partner is as concerned with your relationship as you are, but in a lot of cases, that's not the truth.
To be honest, a lot of relationship problems start because only one person is trying. It's not uncommon to have relationships where one person simply doesn't care and the other person is the one who does all the heavy lifting.
That dynamic can only last so long before the one doing all the work gets fed up and stops trying, from that point on, it's all down hill.
Take a minute (and be honest) and take a long hard look at your relationship. If you find that this describes your relationship, you must know that it won't be impossible but it will be a lot harder to turn things around.
2. Next you and your partner need to carefully look at the problems in your relationship. Try to figure out what the problems are, and be honest, and sit down to find alternative ways of acting or treating each other.
3. Please keep in mind that it won't happen overnight. If you or your partner is expecting a quick fix you will be disappointed. If you expect this process to be quick and easy and it takes longer than you would like, it's possible that you will give up because you think it's simply not going to work out.
Instead, maintain realistic expectations and be willing to stick with it until you see some progress. If both of you are really trying, things will get better it's just a matter of time.
The basic recipe is to find what is causing the problems between you, figure out how to correct those problems (in many cases it will mean changing some habits between the two of you, hence the amount of time it will take) and just give it time.
It sounds easy, but it will take enormous commitment from both of you to make it work. The good news is that if you are both committed you can do it and it's pretty easy to find all the relationship self help you will need.
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All good things to keep in mind, especially number two. Can't fix a problem until you know what it is.
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