Wednesday, January 5, 2011

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Wait - Do You

Before you learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, it's important that you stop yourself for a minute and ask yourself why you want him back. I know, you'll say it's because you still love him, and you might, but are you sure that really is the main reason? Look, it is really easy to feel your life has been shaken to its foundation after a breakup and we find ourselves scrambling to get back to anything that feels normal. This could be a big reason that you want him back but it's not a good one.

You really need to not only be completely honest about the reasons you want him back, you also need to be totally honest when it comes time to evaluate if the relationship was even healthy enough to continue with. So the question should be not about how to get him back but whether or not you should get back with him at all.

You should not get back with him if there was any type of abuse at all; physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. You absolutely should not get back with him even if he promises he will change. He won't!

If he has been in therapy for some time and has shown a commitment to changing then maybe you could consider reconciling with him but keep in mind that the two of you fell into a certain dynamic when you were together and it's very likely that you will fall back into that same dynamic if you get together again. Therapy or no therapy.

If, after careful consideration, you both decide that the relationship is worth another chance, here are some things that will show you how to get your ex boyfriend back:

1. First of all, try to contact him to see if he is even receptive to the idea. Stay casual, do not let him know right away that you want to get back together with him. Keep the conversation easy and light and just suggest meeting as friends. If he says no, then you have your answer. If he doesn't even want to meet for coffee as friends, it's unlikely that he will want to get back together as a couple with you.

If he says yes, keep everything very casual, just talk, have fun, most of all be yourself and do not try too hard. You will only succeed in turning him away. Everything will probably progress from there if he is interested in getting back together with you too.

2. If he shows no interest of reconciling with you, walk away with your head held high. Be proud of yourself that you tried. Nothing ventured nothing gained, it is important though, to know when to call it a day. Do not get angry or threaten him in any way. Just wish him well and say goodbye. At least that way you won't feel like a fool every time you remember the meeting.

These are simple things you can do to find out if he is receptive to a reconciliation, and if not you can move on knowing that you tried. Please take the time, first, to make sure that you really know how to get your ex boyfriend back and why; because not all relationships should be saved.

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