Friday, September 25, 2009

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea

Here is a question that people have all the time. Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are a lot of people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you are able to think of on a daily basis. A lot of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them once again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it. The good to writing letters is that they'll allow you to express feelings that you may not otherwise be able to express. There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they would ever be able to say verbally. So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they could definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges. The most honest way to break up with somebody is in person, although a lot of people just do not have the backbone to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships. If you would like to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and view the previous good point about writing letters. Even though they could help you communicate things that you find difficult to communicate verbally, your ex in all likelihood already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you are able to change for the better for your ex and that is something that's more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this may be a bit of an academic debate. The reason for that is that a lot of times the direct approach isn't the best one when it comes to getting your ex back. Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach. If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship once again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along. That's far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally doesn't involve the writing of any letters. This means that at best, there's debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

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