The Best Way To Save Marriage Embrace Conflict

In a lot of states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are “irreconcilable differences” and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that's inherent in a close partnership between two people.
We frequently think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at one another always. But if these couples could communicate their needs through elevated voices, they're actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.
It's these silent couples who need to save marriage through embracing conflict.
While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who do not acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to break up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.
So, if you would like to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:
· Allow enough time for proper communication. If you're not spending enough time together to air your differences and share your strengths, you'll find your relationship is in trouble. Work on building couple’s time back into your life. For example, make a point of eating dinner together numerous times a week or going out on a date very week.
· Really listen when your partner speaks. It's amazing how much we tune out our partners. He or she might be telling you what you need to know. But, if you're not listening, it's all in vain.
· Determine why your partner is annoyed. When your husband or wife is being especially grouchy, determine what is really going on. Occasionally, it might be that you have done something that's annoyed them. Other times, it might be that something completely unrelated has happened. But you will not know unless you ask.
· Get inside his or her world. As couples start to drift apart, they begin to live in separate worlds. When you make an attempt to get inside his or her world, you might just save the marriage.
· Stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse’s needs. But, do not be quick to judge or criticize.
· Be honest. One of the biggest problems for people who do not like conflict is that they can not be honest about what they want and need. When you begin to express honest opinions about things, you'll start to save marriage.
Marriage is hard work. But, if it's worth it to you to save marriage, you'll do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.