Friday, May 29, 2009

The Relationships Wife Keep Her Happy

If you are the relationships wife, you know you are not in an easy position. You may feel put upon, as though everything from the home to some of the income is your responsibility. For a long time men worked while the wife took care of hearth and home. Today’s relationships wife is supposed to work and do it all with a smile on her face!

But you can not do it all, and you can not have it all. At any rate you can not without personal sacrifice and exhaustion. Add saving your relationship and preserving your marriage into the mix, and it is a sure formula for fatigue and depression.

When things have failed in your relationship, you should remember that you are not exclusively responsible for fixing them. He plays a part, also, and you should let him do equal duty or at the least some of it. Everything that happens, good or bad, isn't only because of the relationships wife.

And if you are the husband and the idea of keeping her happy seems daunting, you must remember that you are not entirely responsible for her happiness either. You can contribute to it, and it is pretty easy for you to ruin it, but whether or not she is a happy person generally is primarily up to her.

It is important for the relationships wife to understand that men and women have different needs. This is important for the husband to realize, also. When you are trying to heal your marriage, it may be a good idea for both of you to read books that discuss the differences between men and women.

John Gray’s books about Mars and Venus are great for pointing out the very different ways men and women feel nurtured in a relationship. They also point out how differently men view emotional things than women, and how each occasionally has an approach that is directly opposite of what the other person might want.

Even if you feel like you share things evenly and have a really balanced relationship, you may discover that it is not. The relationships wife will tend to fall into certain roles, just as the husband does. Reading books about these differences could be an eye opening experience.

Even if your spouse Is not interested in reading such books, you should give them a try. It is not easy to heal a relationship when only one person appears to do all the work. But if you make an attempt, very frequently it makes such a difference that the other individual can not help but change either.

It can be an unconscious thing, in fact. By learning the best way to approach your spouse about certain issues, or understanding the way he or she naturally deals with things, it makes you a more thoughtful and courteous partner.

That exclusively is enough to affect the other individuals behavior and make things better. You should not have to do everything, but this is one thing you must take upon yourself. Whether you are the relationships wife or the husband, you are capable of helping heal the relationship.

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