Thursday, May 21, 2009

Is There A Secret To Relationships

If there were a magic secret to relationships, somebody would have already bottled it and made billions of dollars. But there are many ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and a few are merely reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is truly a secret.

• Love. It is not adequate to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them frequently. You should never be in a relationship if you do not feel true love for somebody, and feel comfortable expressing it.

• Respect. If you do not respect the individual you are with, there is little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is frequently a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what’s the point?

Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness all of the time. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you are alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

• Thoughtfulness. Put your partner’s needs and wants at the top of your list. Tiny gestures are oftentimes some of the most powerful.

• Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship rapidly, even if they are lies about nothing of import. Do not do anything deceptive and you will never have to lie to begin with.

All of those are important to a relationship and might be called the “secret to relationships.” But you truly need all of them for a good relationship, and they’re things everyone already knows. The hard part could be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honesty is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Do not be scared to let your partner see your true self, particularly when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness could go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You will back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you do not necessarily feel they are doing the right thing, you could respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, also. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But perhaps he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he does not have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you are able to find what your partner perceives as the most adoring thing and do that, you are expressing your love perfectly for that individual. And you are being thoughtful, also. You are thinking of that individual and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you have found the secret to relationships that could make your partnership a happy one.

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