There are so many websites for relationship advice on the internet that they are far too many to count or even itemize in this small article.
Suffice it to say that there are plenty to choose from, all you have to do is to start looking. Any one of the search engines will take you to a list of results pages that would take 100 years or more to get through from the first ranked to the last ranked website for relationship advice.
Most likely you have a specific problem or topic that needs to be addressed and you will find no shortage of answers relating to your problem or topic. If you have something specific to discuss or find a solution for, I am sure that the information you will find has helped millions of other readers at one point or another, as well.
This being the case you will feel like you have so much support from the online world that in itself may make you feel better about your situation. If not, then you can glean what information you can from one site and then move on to another.
Every relationship is different and yet can be so similar in the problems that people face each and every day. You will be able to find answers on communication difficulties in relationships, or dating tips, marriage, sex, divorce, and everything in between.
You can even check out sites dedicated to the opposite sex to find out what is being discussed where. You could gain valuable insight into what the opposite sex is thinking and feeling about certain topics.
Do not let yourself get overwhelmed by the myriad information out there. Stick to your guns and only look for, and pay attention to, advice and suggestions about the topic you need help with otherwise you could just get lost and more confused than ever.
There are also many other ways to get the information you so desire:
Forums are great for finding up-to-date information on any number of topics. Someone always wants to help. You could find threads from someone who has gone through the exact same thing you are going through and you could find your answer immediately without having to delve through so much information.
Online dating sites could be a wealth of information. Some do have Q & A or they post articles about any number of topics.
When you go to these websites and you find one that you think you could trust to give you the best information then sign up for their newsletter. This newsletter will be delivered to your email inbox either daily, weekly or biweekly.
Go to any of the article directories and find hundreds of articles devoted to one subject or another. Sift through them all to find what you need.
Frankly, you could do it the old fashioned way and make a trip to your local library. You can find hundreds of books by various authors, known or not, in the self help section.
It is completely up to you how you feel it is best to get your questions answered. Start searching for websites for relationship advice today. Click Here for a good website for relationship advice.
Showing posts with label dating advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating advice. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I Am Still In Love But My Ex Is Not
Whether it's a boyfriend-girlfriend fling that has lasted a couple of months, or a marriage that has lasted decades, breaking up is never an enjoyable experience. There are bad breakups, and ones that are amicable, but it's all relative. One thing that can add insult to emotional injury is coming to the realization that "I am still in love but my ex is not."
How you handle the situation will depend on several factors. Regardless of what led to the breakup, or why you're feeling this way, it is something that should be addressed as soon as possible. The key is to find a resolution to your situation; otherwise you will be left with nagging thoughts about what may or may not happen.
A lot of people in your situation are afraid to talk to their ex because they are afraid of rejection. They would rather go through life fantasizing about how things could have worked out. That's really sad. It would be far better if they had found out for sure when they had the chance. Living in a fantasy world may seem to give them relief, but that relief is only an illusion. Getting back together may or may not happen, but you have to do what you can to get a definitive answer.
The more recently the breakup happened, the more important it is to get your emotions under control. You need to think clearly as you consider your options. You don't have to be a cold, logical machine, but you don't want to be a bundle of raw nerves either.
Generally speaking, you have two options: you can try to get back together with your ex, or you can let go and move on with your life.
Getting back together seems like the ideal answer when you're saying "I am still in love but my ex is not." However, before you proceed, you need to make sure that you are really in love with them. It's fairly common for people to think they are in love, when the truth is that they are just afraid to be alone. If you are sure, then you can start taking steps towards getting back together.
Letting go and moving on can be a painful experience, but it is sometimes the best option. Even if you are still in love with your ex, they may already be in a new relationship. You should not interfere in what they have now. Accept things as they really are, and do your best to move on. Finding somebody new is often the best way to get past the feelings you have for an ex.
"I am still in love but my ex is not" is a common enough complaint, but what you choose to do will depend on your situation. The advice you have been given is a good start. It would also be a good idea to seek out more information on this tricky subject.
How you handle the situation will depend on several factors. Regardless of what led to the breakup, or why you're feeling this way, it is something that should be addressed as soon as possible. The key is to find a resolution to your situation; otherwise you will be left with nagging thoughts about what may or may not happen.
A lot of people in your situation are afraid to talk to their ex because they are afraid of rejection. They would rather go through life fantasizing about how things could have worked out. That's really sad. It would be far better if they had found out for sure when they had the chance. Living in a fantasy world may seem to give them relief, but that relief is only an illusion. Getting back together may or may not happen, but you have to do what you can to get a definitive answer.
The more recently the breakup happened, the more important it is to get your emotions under control. You need to think clearly as you consider your options. You don't have to be a cold, logical machine, but you don't want to be a bundle of raw nerves either.
Generally speaking, you have two options: you can try to get back together with your ex, or you can let go and move on with your life.
Getting back together seems like the ideal answer when you're saying "I am still in love but my ex is not." However, before you proceed, you need to make sure that you are really in love with them. It's fairly common for people to think they are in love, when the truth is that they are just afraid to be alone. If you are sure, then you can start taking steps towards getting back together.
Letting go and moving on can be a painful experience, but it is sometimes the best option. Even if you are still in love with your ex, they may already be in a new relationship. You should not interfere in what they have now. Accept things as they really are, and do your best to move on. Finding somebody new is often the best way to get past the feelings you have for an ex.
"I am still in love but my ex is not" is a common enough complaint, but what you choose to do will depend on your situation. The advice you have been given is a good start. It would also be a good idea to seek out more information on this tricky subject.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Romantic Fun Ways To Get My Ex Back-Although Not Guaranteed
Breaking up is never any fun. Wanting to get back together can be scary due to the fear of rejection. Luckily, we have compiled this list of "10 romantic fun ways to get my ex back." The beauty of these ideas is that they are fun, different, and show that you still care for your ex. They also do a great job of rekindling what was once there, and getting your former partner interested in you again.
To be fair, not every single idea in the following list is guaranteed to work for every person. That being said, there should be at least a few items on the list that will be a good match for you and your ex.
1. Go on your first date again. It doesn't matter where it was, or who was there; do your best to re-create as many details of your first date as possible. If your first date was at a friend's house while watching a baseball game, then enlist the help of your friend and do it all over again.
2. Ask them to go to a spa with you. More and more spas are starting to cater to couples. Even though you are not technically a couple at this point, they will associate the positive feelings they get at the spa with positive feelings for you.
3. A trip to the local amusement park is one of the "10 romantic fun ways to get my ex back", but you can have even more fun if you have pictures taken when the two of you are at the park. You don't need to pressure your ex in any way, just let the fun do the talking. The photographs will remind them of the fun they had long after the day is over.
4. Send them a love letter. This one is a bit risky, but it should give you a clear idea of what your chances of getting back together are.
5. Go on a date with your ex. There is nothing sneaky here. Just ask them to go out on a date, and then try to keep things on the lighter side. That doesn't mean you need to wear a clown nose, but it means you should avoid heavy conversations about what led to your break up. You're simply going out to have a good time.
6. Pen a bit of verse. If you have a poetic streak, then a poem can be a romantic (for them) and fun (for you) way to get your ex back.
7. An afternoon spent at the local animal shelter gives the two of you a chance to help animals, and it also gives your ex a chance to see that you're a decent person.
8. Find a greeting card that plays music. The key here is to find a tune that suits them very well. The card can be funny or romantic.
9. Nothing brightens a person's day like a bouquet of flowers. Try to avoid roses, though, as they are usually a sign of being a couple.
10. The last of the "10 romantic fun ways to get my ex back" is to have a theme date. This is where you eat food that is related to a movie that you see during your date.
To be fair, not every single idea in the following list is guaranteed to work for every person. That being said, there should be at least a few items on the list that will be a good match for you and your ex.
1. Go on your first date again. It doesn't matter where it was, or who was there; do your best to re-create as many details of your first date as possible. If your first date was at a friend's house while watching a baseball game, then enlist the help of your friend and do it all over again.
2. Ask them to go to a spa with you. More and more spas are starting to cater to couples. Even though you are not technically a couple at this point, they will associate the positive feelings they get at the spa with positive feelings for you.
3. A trip to the local amusement park is one of the "10 romantic fun ways to get my ex back", but you can have even more fun if you have pictures taken when the two of you are at the park. You don't need to pressure your ex in any way, just let the fun do the talking. The photographs will remind them of the fun they had long after the day is over.
4. Send them a love letter. This one is a bit risky, but it should give you a clear idea of what your chances of getting back together are.
5. Go on a date with your ex. There is nothing sneaky here. Just ask them to go out on a date, and then try to keep things on the lighter side. That doesn't mean you need to wear a clown nose, but it means you should avoid heavy conversations about what led to your break up. You're simply going out to have a good time.
6. Pen a bit of verse. If you have a poetic streak, then a poem can be a romantic (for them) and fun (for you) way to get your ex back.
7. An afternoon spent at the local animal shelter gives the two of you a chance to help animals, and it also gives your ex a chance to see that you're a decent person.
8. Find a greeting card that plays music. The key here is to find a tune that suits them very well. The card can be funny or romantic.
9. Nothing brightens a person's day like a bouquet of flowers. Try to avoid roses, though, as they are usually a sign of being a couple.
10. The last of the "10 romantic fun ways to get my ex back" is to have a theme date. This is where you eat food that is related to a movie that you see during your date.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Dont Be Down,Hurt And Cunfused-Will She Love Me Again
There seems to be a common question that keeps coming up in the thoughts of guys who just went through a break up, or feel trapped in a relationship. That question is: will she love me again? The sad thing is that it doesn't matter how you got to this point. The only thing that matters to you at this point is whether or not you can get her to love you again. You may be down, hurt, hopeless and confused, but you don't have to be. Instead, you can take comfort in the fact that other men have been in the same situation and were able to get their woman to love them again.
The first thing you absolutely must do is take an honest look at what's going on. This means you have to accept things as they are. If you have just broken up, don't tell yourself the break up isn't real; accept it. This is the first step in getting her back. Also, even though you are asking, "will she love me again", there is a chance that you are misreading her signals and she really loves you anyway. What has she said or done to make you think she has fallen out of love? What real evidence do you have? See, you don't want to expend your energies on something that isn't a real problem.
Once you have determined that she doesn't love you any more, or at least not as much as she used to, you have to give her some space. This means not contacting her in any way for a while. That includes no leaving notes, no late night telephone calls, no bumping in to her "accidentally", and no emails or text messages. By trying to talk to her you run the risk of pushing her further away, so resist the temptation and giver her the time and space she needs for now.
Okay, you are off to a great start, but there's still more you can do. As long as you are leaving her alone, you should use this time to try to put her out of your mind. This will only be temporary, but it's important for you to have a clear head before moving forward. Pay attention to your needs. You may feel awful, but you still have to take care of yourself. Be sure to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.
The final step is to get to the root of went wrong. This is where you will find the clues to why she fell out of love with you. It may take some digging and won't be easy to do, but it will be worth it in the long run. Once you identify what went wrong, you can start doing what you need to do to fix it. Stick with it, and give it time and sooner or later you will get a positive answer to the question of will she love me again.
The first thing you absolutely must do is take an honest look at what's going on. This means you have to accept things as they are. If you have just broken up, don't tell yourself the break up isn't real; accept it. This is the first step in getting her back. Also, even though you are asking, "will she love me again", there is a chance that you are misreading her signals and she really loves you anyway. What has she said or done to make you think she has fallen out of love? What real evidence do you have? See, you don't want to expend your energies on something that isn't a real problem.
Once you have determined that she doesn't love you any more, or at least not as much as she used to, you have to give her some space. This means not contacting her in any way for a while. That includes no leaving notes, no late night telephone calls, no bumping in to her "accidentally", and no emails or text messages. By trying to talk to her you run the risk of pushing her further away, so resist the temptation and giver her the time and space she needs for now.
Okay, you are off to a great start, but there's still more you can do. As long as you are leaving her alone, you should use this time to try to put her out of your mind. This will only be temporary, but it's important for you to have a clear head before moving forward. Pay attention to your needs. You may feel awful, but you still have to take care of yourself. Be sure to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.
The final step is to get to the root of went wrong. This is where you will find the clues to why she fell out of love with you. It may take some digging and won't be easy to do, but it will be worth it in the long run. Once you identify what went wrong, you can start doing what you need to do to fix it. Stick with it, and give it time and sooner or later you will get a positive answer to the question of will she love me again.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Ways To Say Your Sorry-Sincere Best Policy
I suppose if you really gave it any thought you could come up with hundreds, maybe thousands, of clever ways to say your sorry.
And I guess that's kind of neat, but at the end of the day, the best apologies are always the ones that are sincere.
Too many times we apologize without really meaning it. This can happen a lot in relationships, particularly romantic relationships.
We don't really believe we are wrong but we don't want the drama so we apologize.
And, I suppose, in some cases that may be the best strategy. Some arguments or disagreements aren't ever going to be won.
But maybe instead of coming up with unique ways to say your sorry, or to apologize and not really mean it, a better approach would be to find some common ground with the other person.
Sometimes you and your partner, or friend, are not going to see eye to eye on a subject. And that's ok.
Even the most compatible people will, on occasion, have their own opinion different from the other persons.
But if you and your partner, or friends, can't even agree to disagree there is some issues that should probably be addressed.
Most of us have probably known people during our lives who are very insecure. You can't tell them anything because they can't admit that they may be wrong.
We often view this behavior as selfish or self centered and there certainly is that element involved, but in many cases it is just that the person is ultra insecure.
They can't take even the most gentle of critiques and use it as a chance to grow as a person.
They view it as a sign that their idea that they are somehow inferior is actually true. So, they can't admit they were wrong.
If that is the type of person you are with you may just have to be willing sometimes to say you are sorry even if you don't really think you were wrong.
That type of person will "hold you hostage" until they are "proven right" and if that is the case it may just make sense for you to apologize.
Though, truthfully, if that is the type of person you are involved with I would wonder at the ongoing viability of that particular relationship.
But, if you have totally screwed up, and you know it and are willing to admit it to yourself and apologize to your partner, the best way is to do it face to face.
Sure, you can get creative, and depending on your partner and the type of relationship you have, that may be a good idea.
But ultimately, the best apology is the sincere type of apology.
I used to tell my kids that an apology is only real if you mean it at the time and truly try to make sure you will never make that mistake again.
You can't apologize and then turn around and do the same thing again and truly expect anyone to believe your apology was sincere.
So, if you made a mistake and you want to apologize, you can find cute or clever ways to say your sorry, or you can just say it. But either way, make sure you are sincere and don't ever make that same mistake again.
And I guess that's kind of neat, but at the end of the day, the best apologies are always the ones that are sincere.
Too many times we apologize without really meaning it. This can happen a lot in relationships, particularly romantic relationships.
We don't really believe we are wrong but we don't want the drama so we apologize.
And, I suppose, in some cases that may be the best strategy. Some arguments or disagreements aren't ever going to be won.
But maybe instead of coming up with unique ways to say your sorry, or to apologize and not really mean it, a better approach would be to find some common ground with the other person.
Sometimes you and your partner, or friend, are not going to see eye to eye on a subject. And that's ok.
Even the most compatible people will, on occasion, have their own opinion different from the other persons.
But if you and your partner, or friends, can't even agree to disagree there is some issues that should probably be addressed.
Most of us have probably known people during our lives who are very insecure. You can't tell them anything because they can't admit that they may be wrong.
We often view this behavior as selfish or self centered and there certainly is that element involved, but in many cases it is just that the person is ultra insecure.
They can't take even the most gentle of critiques and use it as a chance to grow as a person.
They view it as a sign that their idea that they are somehow inferior is actually true. So, they can't admit they were wrong.
If that is the type of person you are with you may just have to be willing sometimes to say you are sorry even if you don't really think you were wrong.
That type of person will "hold you hostage" until they are "proven right" and if that is the case it may just make sense for you to apologize.
Though, truthfully, if that is the type of person you are involved with I would wonder at the ongoing viability of that particular relationship.
But, if you have totally screwed up, and you know it and are willing to admit it to yourself and apologize to your partner, the best way is to do it face to face.
Sure, you can get creative, and depending on your partner and the type of relationship you have, that may be a good idea.
But ultimately, the best apology is the sincere type of apology.
I used to tell my kids that an apology is only real if you mean it at the time and truly try to make sure you will never make that mistake again.
You can't apologize and then turn around and do the same thing again and truly expect anyone to believe your apology was sincere.
So, if you made a mistake and you want to apologize, you can find cute or clever ways to say your sorry, or you can just say it. But either way, make sure you are sincere and don't ever make that same mistake again.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Effects Of A Healthy Apology
What are the effects of a healthy apology, and just what is a healthy apology? To me, any apology that is sincere is well on the way to being healthy.
One of the reasons many couple's break up is that they simply have trouble communicating and that communication includes the ability to apologize.
So, the effects of a healthy apology may just be to help you save your marriage or relationship.
The exact way you apologize will depend on you and your personality as well as the personality of your partner.
If you are very easy going and have a fun personality but your partner tends to be more serious, a "funny" apology may not be the best way to go.
Another thing you should always keep in mind is that if you are going to apologize, you want to try to make sure you won't make the same mistakes again.
When my kids were young I would always tell them that if they mess up providing a sincere apology was the right thing to do, but it was only part of the equation.
I explained to them that unless they did everything in their power to make sure they never made the same mistake again, their apology really was not all that sincere.
This should be another aspect of your apology, though your partner may never know, just analyze what you did wrong and, more importantly, figure out what changes you can make so you never make the same mistake again.
If you keep doing the same things over and over again, your partner will eventually learn not to believe your apology, and they will probably start to resent the heck out of you and your phony apologies.
By making a sincere apology when you mess up and making changes to your behavior you can avoid the dangerous game of messing up, apologize, make up, mess up again.
Unless you and your partner are in your teens, this pattern will quickly lose it's appeal and will quickly grow old... as will your relationship.
Maturity and honesty are two of the most important factors when it comes to making any type of relationship strong and healthy.
Learning how to admit you are wrong and make an apology can not only pay huge dividends in your relationships, all of your relationships, not just the romantic variety, it can also make you a more mature and well rounded person.
Facing your own challenges and less than desirable personality traits can help you grow as a human being. When you face some issues you are then in a position to make changes. All of that can add up to make you a better person.
And that can make you a happier and emotionally healthier person to be around... which means you will likely be a lot more popular!
Take the time to learn to identify and own your mistakes by apologizing when you make them. Learning to be a better version of yourself can help your relationships and that is one of the effects of a healthy apology.
One of the reasons many couple's break up is that they simply have trouble communicating and that communication includes the ability to apologize.
So, the effects of a healthy apology may just be to help you save your marriage or relationship.
The exact way you apologize will depend on you and your personality as well as the personality of your partner.
If you are very easy going and have a fun personality but your partner tends to be more serious, a "funny" apology may not be the best way to go.
Another thing you should always keep in mind is that if you are going to apologize, you want to try to make sure you won't make the same mistakes again.
When my kids were young I would always tell them that if they mess up providing a sincere apology was the right thing to do, but it was only part of the equation.
I explained to them that unless they did everything in their power to make sure they never made the same mistake again, their apology really was not all that sincere.
This should be another aspect of your apology, though your partner may never know, just analyze what you did wrong and, more importantly, figure out what changes you can make so you never make the same mistake again.
If you keep doing the same things over and over again, your partner will eventually learn not to believe your apology, and they will probably start to resent the heck out of you and your phony apologies.
By making a sincere apology when you mess up and making changes to your behavior you can avoid the dangerous game of messing up, apologize, make up, mess up again.
Unless you and your partner are in your teens, this pattern will quickly lose it's appeal and will quickly grow old... as will your relationship.
Maturity and honesty are two of the most important factors when it comes to making any type of relationship strong and healthy.
Learning how to admit you are wrong and make an apology can not only pay huge dividends in your relationships, all of your relationships, not just the romantic variety, it can also make you a more mature and well rounded person.
Facing your own challenges and less than desirable personality traits can help you grow as a human being. When you face some issues you are then in a position to make changes. All of that can add up to make you a better person.
And that can make you a happier and emotionally healthier person to be around... which means you will likely be a lot more popular!
Take the time to learn to identify and own your mistakes by apologizing when you make them. Learning to be a better version of yourself can help your relationships and that is one of the effects of a healthy apology.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Relationship Psychology-Science Of Relationships
Science When it comes right down to it, psychology is at the root of every resource designed to help you with your relationships. Relationship psychology my sound complicated, but it is simply a series of methods that you can use to analyze the problems the two of you are facing. This is largely done by understanding the thinking behind behavior, and then using what you discover to help make things better.
To be blunt...not using relationship psychology can cause the two of you to ultimately break up. A lot of people think that learning "psychology" sounds difficult or boring, but you don't need to take a full-blown college course to benefit from some of the basics. With that in mind, here are a few psychological techniques you can use to have a better relationship.
We all have problems of one kind or another, and there are times when we take out the stress of those problems on the people we love; there are also times that the ones we love take their stress out on us. The point is that you should do your best to not take your stress out on your partner, but you should also be understanding if your partner does that to you.
A lot of the issues we have actually go back to our childhoods, and relationship psychology can help to minimize their impact. For example, if you were raised in a home where your mother was constantly looking over your shoulder and being critical, then you are more likely to carry on that behavior. Now, if your partner's mother was the exact opposite, then they will probably have a hard time dealing with your domineering style.
When the two of you are having a conversation, it's important for each of you to feel as though you are being heard. The way to do this is through active listening. This takes practice, and is quite different than just hearing your partner's voice. Listening requires you to pay attention to what's being said, and how it's being said. The person listening needs to focus, and should give their complete attention to the one who is talking. Thinking about what you are going to say when it's "your turn" is not listening.
The tricky thing about relationship psychology is that there are, at the very least, three parties involved, and not two as most people assume. There is you, there is your partner, and then there is the relationship itself. Each one of these has its own distinct personality, but each is influenced and influences the other two. So, you have an influence on your partner and the relationship, and they both have an influence on you. Therefore, you need to be careful when using psychology, as there can be unintended consequences when you fail to look at the bigger picture.
Of course this is just a quick overview of relationship psychology, but it's a good start. The more you learn about it, the more you will be able to put it to good use for you, your partner, and your relationship.
To be blunt...not using relationship psychology can cause the two of you to ultimately break up. A lot of people think that learning "psychology" sounds difficult or boring, but you don't need to take a full-blown college course to benefit from some of the basics. With that in mind, here are a few psychological techniques you can use to have a better relationship.
We all have problems of one kind or another, and there are times when we take out the stress of those problems on the people we love; there are also times that the ones we love take their stress out on us. The point is that you should do your best to not take your stress out on your partner, but you should also be understanding if your partner does that to you.
A lot of the issues we have actually go back to our childhoods, and relationship psychology can help to minimize their impact. For example, if you were raised in a home where your mother was constantly looking over your shoulder and being critical, then you are more likely to carry on that behavior. Now, if your partner's mother was the exact opposite, then they will probably have a hard time dealing with your domineering style.
When the two of you are having a conversation, it's important for each of you to feel as though you are being heard. The way to do this is through active listening. This takes practice, and is quite different than just hearing your partner's voice. Listening requires you to pay attention to what's being said, and how it's being said. The person listening needs to focus, and should give their complete attention to the one who is talking. Thinking about what you are going to say when it's "your turn" is not listening.
The tricky thing about relationship psychology is that there are, at the very least, three parties involved, and not two as most people assume. There is you, there is your partner, and then there is the relationship itself. Each one of these has its own distinct personality, but each is influenced and influences the other two. So, you have an influence on your partner and the relationship, and they both have an influence on you. Therefore, you need to be careful when using psychology, as there can be unintended consequences when you fail to look at the bigger picture.
Of course this is just a quick overview of relationship psychology, but it's a good start. The more you learn about it, the more you will be able to put it to good use for you, your partner, and your relationship.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Healing Relationships-First Decide If You Will Make The Effort
There are those times when we find ourselves in relationships that are good, strong, loving, and stable. That's great when it happens, but there are also times when relationships go sour. Fortunately, healing relationships, though it takes effort, is entirely possible if you go about it the right way and are willing to do whatever it takes.
Most relationships that are in trouble do not get in trouble all at once; instead, seemingly insignificant things build up over time. There may be a tipping point that gives the illusion of sudden trouble, but in most cases the trouble creeps up over time. It's important to understand this because it means that there usually isn't a quick fix for healing relationships. There will be an investment of time and effort, but it will be worth it if it means the two of you can be happy again.
The fact that you are reading this is proof that there is hope for your relationship. It proves that at least one of you cares enough about the relationship to make it better. If your partner also wants to improve things, then that's even better, but it isn't necessary. What is necessary, however, is finding out exactly where your relationship stands at this point in time.
You need to take an honest look at the relationship you have, as well as the relationship you want. Once you know those two things you can start creating a plan to go from where you are to where you want to be. It is very important for you to be honest with yourself about the way things currently are, and how you want them to be. It's one thing to want to be happy, and it's quite another to fantasize about being in a perfect relationship.
Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sadly, these mistakes often hurt people. If you are the one who caused the hurt, then you need to do what you can to make amends. If it was your partner that hurt you, then you need to find a way to forgive them. (For the record, we are talking about emotional hurts, and not physical or mental abuse.) Forgiveness is usually thought of as something you "do" to somebody else, but it's really more about giving yourself permission to let go of past hurts and to start healing.
If you are religious or spiritual, then turning to your beliefs is another way of healing relationships. Almost every religion has a ways of dealing with troubled relationships, and turning to your religion can bring you a lot of comfort in your time of need.
Healing relationships can take time, but it is possible to heal them. We have only touched on a few things to get you started in the right direction. The next step is to get more information on other ways that you can start the healing process. After all, the sooner you start, the sooner the two of you can be happy again.
Most relationships that are in trouble do not get in trouble all at once; instead, seemingly insignificant things build up over time. There may be a tipping point that gives the illusion of sudden trouble, but in most cases the trouble creeps up over time. It's important to understand this because it means that there usually isn't a quick fix for healing relationships. There will be an investment of time and effort, but it will be worth it if it means the two of you can be happy again.
The fact that you are reading this is proof that there is hope for your relationship. It proves that at least one of you cares enough about the relationship to make it better. If your partner also wants to improve things, then that's even better, but it isn't necessary. What is necessary, however, is finding out exactly where your relationship stands at this point in time.
You need to take an honest look at the relationship you have, as well as the relationship you want. Once you know those two things you can start creating a plan to go from where you are to where you want to be. It is very important for you to be honest with yourself about the way things currently are, and how you want them to be. It's one thing to want to be happy, and it's quite another to fantasize about being in a perfect relationship.
Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sadly, these mistakes often hurt people. If you are the one who caused the hurt, then you need to do what you can to make amends. If it was your partner that hurt you, then you need to find a way to forgive them. (For the record, we are talking about emotional hurts, and not physical or mental abuse.) Forgiveness is usually thought of as something you "do" to somebody else, but it's really more about giving yourself permission to let go of past hurts and to start healing.
If you are religious or spiritual, then turning to your beliefs is another way of healing relationships. Almost every religion has a ways of dealing with troubled relationships, and turning to your religion can bring you a lot of comfort in your time of need.
Healing relationships can take time, but it is possible to heal them. We have only touched on a few things to get you started in the right direction. The next step is to get more information on other ways that you can start the healing process. After all, the sooner you start, the sooner the two of you can be happy again.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Boyfriend Girlfriend Quizzes-Ways To Learn About Your Relationship
There are a lot of unknowns in any relationship. These unknowns can lead to doubt and anxiety, so trying to uncover them makes a lot of sense. Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes are one way that people like to use to learn more about their relationships. These quizzes claim to measure compatibility, whether you have found your soulmate, or if your partner is being unfaithful. While all of these are legitimate concerns, there are a few reasons why quizzes are not the best way to find the answers to these questions.
The main problem with boyfriend girlfriend quizzes is that they are made for a general audience. However, your relationship is unique and no quiz can pick up on every little detail. Even if the quiz is well-written and well-intentioned, there is no way that it can give you 100% accurate results. That wouldn't matter so much if it was a quiz on something else, but we are talking about relationships here.
Something a lot of people don't realize is that relationship quizzes can actually lower the level of trust in a relationship. This happens in two basic ways. First, the theme of the quiz can raise doubt about your relationship. For example, you may have never thought your partner was cheating, but now that you see a quiz about it, you start to wonder. The very act of taking the quiz starts to chip away at trust. Second, the conclusion of the quiz (remember, your relationship is unique) may make you believe something about your partner that isn't true. A quiz on cheating may say that your partner is definitely cheating, but there could be other explanations for their behavior.
These quizzes can also make you suspicious and paranoid. Relationship quizzes often bring up the worst things that can happen. Your partner may be completely innocent of those things, but your being aware of the possibility starts to make you look at your partner differently. All of sudden, everything they say and do sets of alarm bells and you start to wonder what's going on.
Another thing to keep in mind is that these quizzes aren't truly meant to help you with your relationship. The truth is that they are a form of entertainment, and are often meant to increase the sales of magazines (though the entertainment aspect applies to free quizzes that are found online). That gives the creator of the quiz a reason to make quizzes that are more sensational.
Does this mean that boyfriend girlfriend quizzes are all bad? Not at all. There are some good quizzes out there, but they are few and far between. But even the worst quiz can be used as the starting point of a conversation about your relationship. If you insist on taking these types of quizzes, then be very careful to not read more into the results than is actually there.
The main problem with boyfriend girlfriend quizzes is that they are made for a general audience. However, your relationship is unique and no quiz can pick up on every little detail. Even if the quiz is well-written and well-intentioned, there is no way that it can give you 100% accurate results. That wouldn't matter so much if it was a quiz on something else, but we are talking about relationships here.
Something a lot of people don't realize is that relationship quizzes can actually lower the level of trust in a relationship. This happens in two basic ways. First, the theme of the quiz can raise doubt about your relationship. For example, you may have never thought your partner was cheating, but now that you see a quiz about it, you start to wonder. The very act of taking the quiz starts to chip away at trust. Second, the conclusion of the quiz (remember, your relationship is unique) may make you believe something about your partner that isn't true. A quiz on cheating may say that your partner is definitely cheating, but there could be other explanations for their behavior.
These quizzes can also make you suspicious and paranoid. Relationship quizzes often bring up the worst things that can happen. Your partner may be completely innocent of those things, but your being aware of the possibility starts to make you look at your partner differently. All of sudden, everything they say and do sets of alarm bells and you start to wonder what's going on.
Another thing to keep in mind is that these quizzes aren't truly meant to help you with your relationship. The truth is that they are a form of entertainment, and are often meant to increase the sales of magazines (though the entertainment aspect applies to free quizzes that are found online). That gives the creator of the quiz a reason to make quizzes that are more sensational.
Does this mean that boyfriend girlfriend quizzes are all bad? Not at all. There are some good quizzes out there, but they are few and far between. But even the worst quiz can be used as the starting point of a conversation about your relationship. If you insist on taking these types of quizzes, then be very careful to not read more into the results than is actually there.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Dealing With Ending A Relationship-Live In The Here And Now
Dealing with ending a relationship is never an easy thing to do, but it is something that people have been doing since the beginning of the species. Even though it is always a difficult thing to do, you can benefit from those who have gone before you. You don't have to navigate all of the negative feelings and heartbreak on your own; instead, you can follow the proven methods that others have used in the past.
The past is a good place to start. What that means is that you need to separate the past from present, and the present from the future. The more you can live in the here and now, the better you will be at dealing with the ending of a relationship. Now, that does not mean you should forget the past or ignore the future, because doing that would be foolish. Your goal is not to pretend that the relationship never happened, but rather to realize that the present is the most important. When your mind is in the present, you have better perspective and will have an easier time coping with a breakup.
You also need to consider the practical aspects of a relationship that's coming to a close. If you have children, then you will need to work out custody arrangements. If there are any bills the two of you have in common, then you will need to sort those out as well. Property is another thing that will have to be divided. This process can be very difficult, but do your best to approach it in a logical manner and you will be able to get through it. This is all about tying up the loose ends that tend to dangle after breaking up, because it gives you a clean slate from which to move forward from.
If you find that you are emotionally troubled, and just can't seem to get better, then seek help from a professional. This can be a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, or a member of the clergy; just having somebody to talk to can work wonders. Some people are embarrassed, or think a counselor will look down on them, but that's not the case. They will be able to give you advice based on your specific situation. Another way to get help is through books that deal with the topic. You can find some excellent titles at your library or online.
There is one other thing to consider, and that is the possibility of getting back together. What you may not know is that the vast majority of relationships can be saved if there is a commitment to making it happen. It won't be easy. There will be an investment of time, emotions and effort, but it can be done. Starting over may not be the obvious solution, but it is another possible way of dealing with ending a relationship.
The past is a good place to start. What that means is that you need to separate the past from present, and the present from the future. The more you can live in the here and now, the better you will be at dealing with the ending of a relationship. Now, that does not mean you should forget the past or ignore the future, because doing that would be foolish. Your goal is not to pretend that the relationship never happened, but rather to realize that the present is the most important. When your mind is in the present, you have better perspective and will have an easier time coping with a breakup.
You also need to consider the practical aspects of a relationship that's coming to a close. If you have children, then you will need to work out custody arrangements. If there are any bills the two of you have in common, then you will need to sort those out as well. Property is another thing that will have to be divided. This process can be very difficult, but do your best to approach it in a logical manner and you will be able to get through it. This is all about tying up the loose ends that tend to dangle after breaking up, because it gives you a clean slate from which to move forward from.
If you find that you are emotionally troubled, and just can't seem to get better, then seek help from a professional. This can be a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, or a member of the clergy; just having somebody to talk to can work wonders. Some people are embarrassed, or think a counselor will look down on them, but that's not the case. They will be able to give you advice based on your specific situation. Another way to get help is through books that deal with the topic. You can find some excellent titles at your library or online.
There is one other thing to consider, and that is the possibility of getting back together. What you may not know is that the vast majority of relationships can be saved if there is a commitment to making it happen. It won't be easy. There will be an investment of time, emotions and effort, but it can be done. Starting over may not be the obvious solution, but it is another possible way of dealing with ending a relationship.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
End Of Relationship Breakup Signals-Tips To Prevent A Breakup
In a perfect world, two people would fall in love and stay together for the rest of their lives. But we live in the real world where couples split apart far too often. However, if you were able to recognize some key end of relationship breakup signals, then you may be able to prevent a breakup from happening.
The first thing you need to do is have a baseline understanding of your partner. In other words, you need to know what their normal behavior is so you will be able to identify strange behavior when it happens. Just about every breakup signal is related to your partner's behavior.
If your partner changes the way they communicate with you, then it's a sign that something is going on. Do they talk to you a lot less? A lot more? Are they using more abusive language? More romantic language? Changes in communication could be a sign of anything, but they can also be a sign that a breakup is just around the corner.
There is a group of behaviors known as emotional distancing. These are any behaviors that break the emotional bond the two of you once had. Sometimes you will see it in their eyes; sometimes it will be a change in the tone of their voice; sometimes you feel it when you touch them. It's one of those things that is hard to explain, but you will know it when you see it. As far as end of relationship breakup signals go, emotional distancing should be your cue to immediately take action to work on making things better.
Odd behavior is another warning sign. This can happen in countless ways, so you need to stay alert. For example, if they seem to be making major excuses for minor things, that's not normal. On the other hand, it may be something that you can't quite specify, but you should trust your gut if things seem off.
One of the hardest signals to notice is when your partner starts to be more romantic than they ever have before. It's easy to assume that they are just being more loving, and besides, it feels good. However, there is also a chance that they are compensating for their own guilt.
To be fair, these breakup signals are not absolute signs of trouble. There could be other logical explanations for their behavior, so don't assume the worst. If you see any of these signals, then you should use them as the basis of a conversation with your partner. Express your concerns in a calm and respectful way, and have a heartfelt discussion.
You may ultimately find that nothing is wrong. Of course there is always a chance that the end of relationship breakup signals were accurate, and things are now coming to an end. It may not be pleasant, but at least you will know and will be able to move on with your life.
The first thing you need to do is have a baseline understanding of your partner. In other words, you need to know what their normal behavior is so you will be able to identify strange behavior when it happens. Just about every breakup signal is related to your partner's behavior.
If your partner changes the way they communicate with you, then it's a sign that something is going on. Do they talk to you a lot less? A lot more? Are they using more abusive language? More romantic language? Changes in communication could be a sign of anything, but they can also be a sign that a breakup is just around the corner.
There is a group of behaviors known as emotional distancing. These are any behaviors that break the emotional bond the two of you once had. Sometimes you will see it in their eyes; sometimes it will be a change in the tone of their voice; sometimes you feel it when you touch them. It's one of those things that is hard to explain, but you will know it when you see it. As far as end of relationship breakup signals go, emotional distancing should be your cue to immediately take action to work on making things better.
Odd behavior is another warning sign. This can happen in countless ways, so you need to stay alert. For example, if they seem to be making major excuses for minor things, that's not normal. On the other hand, it may be something that you can't quite specify, but you should trust your gut if things seem off.
One of the hardest signals to notice is when your partner starts to be more romantic than they ever have before. It's easy to assume that they are just being more loving, and besides, it feels good. However, there is also a chance that they are compensating for their own guilt.
To be fair, these breakup signals are not absolute signs of trouble. There could be other logical explanations for their behavior, so don't assume the worst. If you see any of these signals, then you should use them as the basis of a conversation with your partner. Express your concerns in a calm and respectful way, and have a heartfelt discussion.
You may ultimately find that nothing is wrong. Of course there is always a chance that the end of relationship breakup signals were accurate, and things are now coming to an end. It may not be pleasant, but at least you will know and will be able to move on with your life.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner-List Of Thoughts To Keep In Mind
Anybody that tells you being in a relationship is easy has never been in a real relationship. In fact, a trip to your local library will give you some idea of how many people need help for their relationships. You can use books or anything else when evaluating your relationship with your partner, but how you do it isn't as important as just doing it. Here are some things to keep in mind as you take a closer look at your relationship.
You have to be willing to accept the facts when you uncover them. While you will most likely discover a lot of good things about your relationship, you will also find a few things that need improvement. Do not ignore the bad stuff, and do not try to justify it away. You need to face the facts, and then do what needs to be done to make things better. After all, the purpose of evaluating your relationship with your partner is to learn more about that relationship; not liking the answers is not a reason to ignore those answers.
The tricky part of the evaluation is going in without any expectations about the results. For example, if you go in asking something like "are we going to stay together," then that will skew your results. You are aiming for a true evaluation, and not trying to verify a suspicion. Be open-minded and honest as you go through the process and you will get a more accurate result.
Here are a few unbiased questions that you can ask:
1. What do you want from your relationship? Don't worry about being selfish and answer this question honestly and thoroughly. It doesn't matter if you want financial security, emotional comfort, a partner to have fun with, or anything else; what matters is that you identify what is you want your relationship to provide.
2. What does your partner want? The other side of the coin is finding out what your partner wants from the relationship. Don't be judgmental and do your best to foster an atmosphere of openness. Some of the things they say may surprise or upset you, and that's okay because you are only in the discovery stage.
3. What do you like best about your partner and your relationship? Try to think of all the different aspects of your relationship and look for as much good stuff as you can.
4. What do you like least? No person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, but you can't fix something unless you know it's a problem.
5. Where is your relationship in comparison to where you want it to be? This is the final step of evaluating your relationship with your partner. You know what you both want from your relationship, what you like, and what you don't. Now you have to take everything you have discovered and see how close to the mark you are. How much work needs to be done will depend upon many factors, but at least you now have a good idea of what to do.
You have to be willing to accept the facts when you uncover them. While you will most likely discover a lot of good things about your relationship, you will also find a few things that need improvement. Do not ignore the bad stuff, and do not try to justify it away. You need to face the facts, and then do what needs to be done to make things better. After all, the purpose of evaluating your relationship with your partner is to learn more about that relationship; not liking the answers is not a reason to ignore those answers.
The tricky part of the evaluation is going in without any expectations about the results. For example, if you go in asking something like "are we going to stay together," then that will skew your results. You are aiming for a true evaluation, and not trying to verify a suspicion. Be open-minded and honest as you go through the process and you will get a more accurate result.
Here are a few unbiased questions that you can ask:
1. What do you want from your relationship? Don't worry about being selfish and answer this question honestly and thoroughly. It doesn't matter if you want financial security, emotional comfort, a partner to have fun with, or anything else; what matters is that you identify what is you want your relationship to provide.
2. What does your partner want? The other side of the coin is finding out what your partner wants from the relationship. Don't be judgmental and do your best to foster an atmosphere of openness. Some of the things they say may surprise or upset you, and that's okay because you are only in the discovery stage.
3. What do you like best about your partner and your relationship? Try to think of all the different aspects of your relationship and look for as much good stuff as you can.
4. What do you like least? No person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, but you can't fix something unless you know it's a problem.
5. Where is your relationship in comparison to where you want it to be? This is the final step of evaluating your relationship with your partner. You know what you both want from your relationship, what you like, and what you don't. Now you have to take everything you have discovered and see how close to the mark you are. How much work needs to be done will depend upon many factors, but at least you now have a good idea of what to do.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Simple Tips For Easing The Pain Of A Breakup
"There are plenty of fish in the sea."
It seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship. I know it's their way of trying to ease the pain of a breakup, it never has the desired effect. The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.
Face the truth. When breaking up, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of ever loving again seems like it will never happen again. I mention this because it's important to know that this flow of feelings after breaking up are normal.
Another saying you are not going to want to here is it takes time. The only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Read below for a few ideas you can do to feel better in the meantime.
Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don't overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it's a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!
Stay busy: While you shouldn't try to completely ignore what you are going through, it's also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.
Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain "feel good" chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.
Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn't seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.
Nobody likes to part ways with someone that's close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup.The sooner you start the better off your be.
It seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship. I know it's their way of trying to ease the pain of a breakup, it never has the desired effect. The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.
Face the truth. When breaking up, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of ever loving again seems like it will never happen again. I mention this because it's important to know that this flow of feelings after breaking up are normal.
Another saying you are not going to want to here is it takes time. The only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Read below for a few ideas you can do to feel better in the meantime.
Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don't overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it's a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!
Stay busy: While you shouldn't try to completely ignore what you are going through, it's also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.
Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain "feel good" chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.
Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn't seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.
Nobody likes to part ways with someone that's close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup.The sooner you start the better off your be.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Breakup Signals To Watch Out For-Dont Be Blind Sided By Love
The sad truth is that people break up with one another all the time. If that fact makes you nervous, then you are probably concerned that your relationship could be headed for trouble. You may not always know where you stand until you hear it directly from your partner (one way or the other). With that in mind, here are a few breakup signals to watch out for.
You need to know your partner very well before you can pick up on their signals. The biggest thing to watch out for is a change in behavior. However, you need to have a firm understanding of what their normal behavior is like; otherwise you won't be able to detect subtle changes that could be signs of trouble.
If the two of you used to have deep conversations about important things, but now your partner doesn't want to talk to you at all, then that's an issue that needs to be addressed. If they are suddenly being overly-romantic, when they weren't before, then they may be compensating for feelings of guilt. If they get moody and cranky at the slightest thing, then there's a reason for it. While there could be any number of reasons for a change in behavior, such a change is one of the most common breakup signals.
Emotional coldness is another warning sign. This is the opposite of having strong emotions. If your partner seems distant and unfeeling, it may be an attempt to start pulling away from you. They don't laugh or cry; they don't get mad or argue; and they don't express any feelings of affection. It's as if they are a zombie when they are around you. The catch is that they may not even be aware of what they are doing, so you will have to approach the subject carefully.
Not wanting to spend time with you is also something to watch out for. There are many ways to show love for somebody, and spending time together is one of them. Time apart is an easier breakup signal to notice, but that doesn't mean it's an easier signal to endure. The sad part is that you still want to be together, but your partner seems to be spending less and less time with you.
Another important signal to watch out for is what your gut tells you. In other words, if things just don't feel right, then trust those feelings. At the very least, use those feelings as a wake up call that your relationship isn't perfect.
Being aware of these breakup signals is one thing, and dealing with them is quite another. If you see any of these signs (or any signs for that matter), then you need to take the next step and do what you need to do to save your relationship. There may be a few roadblocks up ahead, but having awareness and a good game plan will get you past them with ease.
You need to know your partner very well before you can pick up on their signals. The biggest thing to watch out for is a change in behavior. However, you need to have a firm understanding of what their normal behavior is like; otherwise you won't be able to detect subtle changes that could be signs of trouble.
If the two of you used to have deep conversations about important things, but now your partner doesn't want to talk to you at all, then that's an issue that needs to be addressed. If they are suddenly being overly-romantic, when they weren't before, then they may be compensating for feelings of guilt. If they get moody and cranky at the slightest thing, then there's a reason for it. While there could be any number of reasons for a change in behavior, such a change is one of the most common breakup signals.
Emotional coldness is another warning sign. This is the opposite of having strong emotions. If your partner seems distant and unfeeling, it may be an attempt to start pulling away from you. They don't laugh or cry; they don't get mad or argue; and they don't express any feelings of affection. It's as if they are a zombie when they are around you. The catch is that they may not even be aware of what they are doing, so you will have to approach the subject carefully.
Not wanting to spend time with you is also something to watch out for. There are many ways to show love for somebody, and spending time together is one of them. Time apart is an easier breakup signal to notice, but that doesn't mean it's an easier signal to endure. The sad part is that you still want to be together, but your partner seems to be spending less and less time with you.
Another important signal to watch out for is what your gut tells you. In other words, if things just don't feel right, then trust those feelings. At the very least, use those feelings as a wake up call that your relationship isn't perfect.
Being aware of these breakup signals is one thing, and dealing with them is quite another. If you see any of these signs (or any signs for that matter), then you need to take the next step and do what you need to do to save your relationship. There may be a few roadblocks up ahead, but having awareness and a good game plan will get you past them with ease.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Easing The Pain Of A Breakup-Heal At Your Own Pace
Easing the pain of a breakup is never easy, but it seems as though family and friends are always quick to share their advice. They will say things like "it just wasn't meant to be" or "don't worry, the right person will come along." Yes, they mean well, but their words don't do anything to make you feel better. Good intentions are nice, but they don't mean much. What you need are some actual methods to start easing your pain.
Let's be blunt. There are plenty of negative emotions that come to the surface after a breakup. Everything from anger to sadness, and from guilt to uncertainty all mix together to make you feel awful. And those feelings don't even begin to cover the feelings of loss and heartbreak.
There is one thing that will ease the pain more than anything else, and that is time. You may have heard that "time heals all wounds", but it has also been said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". These two sayings seem to contradict each other, but you have to trust that time will eventually heal the pain in your heart. Even if it doesn't seem like it's possible right now, you have to believe that it will be possible to feel better in the future.
The problem with waiting for time is that it, well, takes time. That all sounds good in theory, but you don't have time to wait. You want to start feeling better now. The good news is that you can.
Live your life - One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is living your life as if nothing happened. You need to go to work, pay your bills, and talk to your friends and family. The more familiarity you can keep in your life, the faster you will start to feel better.
Laugh - You may not feel like laughing right now, and that's okay. However, laughter causes the brain to release chemicals that not only make you feel better but also kill pain. Guilt can prevent you from wanting to fun, but giving yourself permission to laugh will help you to enjoy life more. Put in a funny movie, go to a comedy club, or watch funny videos online, whatever it takes to make you laugh.
Be realistic - Some people make the mistake of thinking that a breakup won't affect them negatively at all. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it doesn't let you deal with the situation. Instead, look at things realistically, and stop living in a fantasy world. You may have to confront some bad feelings when easing the pain of a breakup, but it's a necessary step to feeling better.
Seek help - If, despite your best efforts, you just can't seem to feel better, then getting help from an outside source is the answer. That source could be your higher power, a counselor, or a book on easing the pain of a breakup.
Let's be blunt. There are plenty of negative emotions that come to the surface after a breakup. Everything from anger to sadness, and from guilt to uncertainty all mix together to make you feel awful. And those feelings don't even begin to cover the feelings of loss and heartbreak.
There is one thing that will ease the pain more than anything else, and that is time. You may have heard that "time heals all wounds", but it has also been said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". These two sayings seem to contradict each other, but you have to trust that time will eventually heal the pain in your heart. Even if it doesn't seem like it's possible right now, you have to believe that it will be possible to feel better in the future.
The problem with waiting for time is that it, well, takes time. That all sounds good in theory, but you don't have time to wait. You want to start feeling better now. The good news is that you can.
Live your life - One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is living your life as if nothing happened. You need to go to work, pay your bills, and talk to your friends and family. The more familiarity you can keep in your life, the faster you will start to feel better.
Laugh - You may not feel like laughing right now, and that's okay. However, laughter causes the brain to release chemicals that not only make you feel better but also kill pain. Guilt can prevent you from wanting to fun, but giving yourself permission to laugh will help you to enjoy life more. Put in a funny movie, go to a comedy club, or watch funny videos online, whatever it takes to make you laugh.
Be realistic - Some people make the mistake of thinking that a breakup won't affect them negatively at all. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it doesn't let you deal with the situation. Instead, look at things realistically, and stop living in a fantasy world. You may have to confront some bad feelings when easing the pain of a breakup, but it's a necessary step to feeling better.
Seek help - If, despite your best efforts, you just can't seem to feel better, then getting help from an outside source is the answer. That source could be your higher power, a counselor, or a book on easing the pain of a breakup.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
How To Be A Challenge To Your Girlfriend
So you want to know how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, huh? While there is nothing wrong with that, it does beg the question of why you want to be a challenge, and what exactly does that mean? Perhaps it is that you are worried about her breaking up with you, or maybe it's because you heard that women like there men to be complicate, or it could be that she has accused you of being a pushover and she would like you to change. Whatever the reason, there are things you can do to add more depth to your relationship.
1. Examine your motives. Your reasons for wanting to present more of a challenge to your girlfriend will make a big difference in how successful you are, those same reasons may also provide insights into problem areas in your relationship. For example, if you want to be challenging because you're afraid she will find someone else, then you need to examine the source of that insecurity. If you want to do it because you love her and you think she will be happier because of it, then it shows that you have good intentions.
2. Learn to communicate effectively. Okay, you want to know how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, but you still need to be able to talk to each other. Learning good communication skills will make it easier for the two of you to talk and work things out. It can also add an element of challenge to your relationship because it will require both of you to think carefully about what you say to each other, and how you say it.
3. Don't let her take you for granted, and vice-versa. Not taking each other for granted can be a huge challenge all by itself. The problem with her taking you for granted is that she won't even be aware of it, which is exactly what the definition of taking someone for granted is. By being aware of it, and pointing it out to her, you can become more of a challenge because she will now have to make an effort to no longer take you for granted.
4. Get of the relationship rut. Nothing is less challenging than being predictable. It seems that the longer two people are together, the deeper their rut becomes, and that rut leads to boredom, and boredom can lead to infidelity or breaking up. However, if you vary your routine, can be somewhat unpredictable, and embrace spontaneity, then you can break out of that right. Doing this will help to keep things fresh in your relationship and your positively impulsive behavior will be a pleasant challenge for your girlfriend.
5. Don't be a jerk about it. Some guys make the mistake of thinking that women like a guy who is a jerk, but the truth is that they are just looking for a guy who is exciting. As you have seen, how to be a challenge to your girlfriend requires a few simple changes, and you make all of them and be a nice guy at the same time.
1. Examine your motives. Your reasons for wanting to present more of a challenge to your girlfriend will make a big difference in how successful you are, those same reasons may also provide insights into problem areas in your relationship. For example, if you want to be challenging because you're afraid she will find someone else, then you need to examine the source of that insecurity. If you want to do it because you love her and you think she will be happier because of it, then it shows that you have good intentions.
2. Learn to communicate effectively. Okay, you want to know how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, but you still need to be able to talk to each other. Learning good communication skills will make it easier for the two of you to talk and work things out. It can also add an element of challenge to your relationship because it will require both of you to think carefully about what you say to each other, and how you say it.
3. Don't let her take you for granted, and vice-versa. Not taking each other for granted can be a huge challenge all by itself. The problem with her taking you for granted is that she won't even be aware of it, which is exactly what the definition of taking someone for granted is. By being aware of it, and pointing it out to her, you can become more of a challenge because she will now have to make an effort to no longer take you for granted.
4. Get of the relationship rut. Nothing is less challenging than being predictable. It seems that the longer two people are together, the deeper their rut becomes, and that rut leads to boredom, and boredom can lead to infidelity or breaking up. However, if you vary your routine, can be somewhat unpredictable, and embrace spontaneity, then you can break out of that right. Doing this will help to keep things fresh in your relationship and your positively impulsive behavior will be a pleasant challenge for your girlfriend.
5. Don't be a jerk about it. Some guys make the mistake of thinking that women like a guy who is a jerk, but the truth is that they are just looking for a guy who is exciting. As you have seen, how to be a challenge to your girlfriend requires a few simple changes, and you make all of them and be a nice guy at the same time.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Break Up Help-Equals Moving Forward
So, you still have loving feelings for your ex even though the two of you have split up? There is no doubt that this can be an emotionally trying time, and you don't know what you can do. This confusion is natural, but at the same time you shouldn't let it paralyze you from moving forward. What you need is break help, and the good news is that you are about to get some!
Notice that we have already mentioned the concept of "moving forward". That means one of two things; you can either do your best to forget about your ex, or you can try to win them back. The one you choose will depend on a lot of factors, but it's an important decision to make. First you need to ask yourself if you really still love your ex. Don't just answer with an automatic 'yes', but rather take some time and think about it carefully. Maybe you love them, or maybe you are just in love with the idea of being in love. Whatever answer you arrive at is okay, so long as it's an honest answer.
If you decide it's time to move on with your life and make your ex a permanent thing of the past, then you need to make it as clean of a break as possible. For example, don't make excuses to see each other, as that will keep both of you in a sort of limbo where you have "officially" broken up, but are "unofficially" still seeing each other. If you have made the choice to move on with your life, then you need to be willing to do just that, and not do things that betray a different course of action.
If your ex is the one who keeps bothering you, but you want to make a clean break, then you need to put your foot down and let them know that you are done with them and moving on. You don't have to be mean about it, just be up front and let them know that they can now also get on with their own life. When you think about, this is actually a much nicer thing to do than to not confront them. They need to know what's going on so they can move on as well.
You are going to need even more break up help if you should decide that you want to get back together with your ex. You must be committed to doing whatever it takes, but it can be done in the vast majority of cases.
The quickest way to get back together is to wait. That sounds like a contradictory statement, but if you make your first move too soon, you may end up pushing your ex away for good. You both need time to calm down and think things over. After enough time has elapsed, you can get in touch with your ex and start working things out. This is only the start, so getting more break up help is a good idea.
Notice that we have already mentioned the concept of "moving forward". That means one of two things; you can either do your best to forget about your ex, or you can try to win them back. The one you choose will depend on a lot of factors, but it's an important decision to make. First you need to ask yourself if you really still love your ex. Don't just answer with an automatic 'yes', but rather take some time and think about it carefully. Maybe you love them, or maybe you are just in love with the idea of being in love. Whatever answer you arrive at is okay, so long as it's an honest answer.
If you decide it's time to move on with your life and make your ex a permanent thing of the past, then you need to make it as clean of a break as possible. For example, don't make excuses to see each other, as that will keep both of you in a sort of limbo where you have "officially" broken up, but are "unofficially" still seeing each other. If you have made the choice to move on with your life, then you need to be willing to do just that, and not do things that betray a different course of action.
If your ex is the one who keeps bothering you, but you want to make a clean break, then you need to put your foot down and let them know that you are done with them and moving on. You don't have to be mean about it, just be up front and let them know that they can now also get on with their own life. When you think about, this is actually a much nicer thing to do than to not confront them. They need to know what's going on so they can move on as well.
You are going to need even more break up help if you should decide that you want to get back together with your ex. You must be committed to doing whatever it takes, but it can be done in the vast majority of cases.
The quickest way to get back together is to wait. That sounds like a contradictory statement, but if you make your first move too soon, you may end up pushing your ex away for good. You both need time to calm down and think things over. After enough time has elapsed, you can get in touch with your ex and start working things out. This is only the start, so getting more break up help is a good idea.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back After She Left You
Ugh! Why is it that relationships have to be so complicated? One moment things seem to be going great, and the next moment you want to know how to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you. Before you start doing anything to win her back, you need to make absolutely sure that you really want her back. Perhaps you are just assuming you should get back together, but do some soul searching first, before you start taking action. From this point forward, we will assume that you are 100% sure about wanting to get back together.
You need a plan if you want to get anywhere. If you don't have a plan then you will expend a lot of effort getting to an unknown point, and you won't even know when you haven't arrived. Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Yes it does, and that's another reason why you need a plan; it will give your purpose more clarity. Decide what your end goal is, and then start working backwards from there, figuring out what steps will eventually lead you there.
Now, if you knew what steps to take, you wouldn't be reading this, right? There is some truth to that statement, but there also some things that you will have to figure out on your own by using some trial and error. You will probably make a few mistakes along the way, and will encounter a few obstacles. The only way to get beyond them is by being willing to do whatever it takes to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you.
She dumped you, you didn't dump her. Do you know why she dumped you? She may have told you, or you may have some idea, but what you need to do is dig deep to get to the root of the problem that caused her to break up with you. Chances are that the first ideas that pop into your head will only be the symptoms of some deeper issues. If you wish to get back together, then you are going to have to uncover the real problems, and also be willing to face them head on.
Once you figure out what really went wrong you can then work on solutions. You will be able to arrive at some solutions on your own, but they will be more effective solutions if you get input from your ex girlfriend. The only way that can happen is by the two of you talking about it. That means you will have to let her know that you would like to have another chance. If you have done the previous steps well, and if you are sincere, then she should be willing to at least hear you out. Things may get intense, but the final key of how to win your ex girlfriend after she dumped you is to keep your cool. It may not always be easy, but it is possible, and it will be worth it when the two of you are happily together again.
You need a plan if you want to get anywhere. If you don't have a plan then you will expend a lot of effort getting to an unknown point, and you won't even know when you haven't arrived. Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Yes it does, and that's another reason why you need a plan; it will give your purpose more clarity. Decide what your end goal is, and then start working backwards from there, figuring out what steps will eventually lead you there.
Now, if you knew what steps to take, you wouldn't be reading this, right? There is some truth to that statement, but there also some things that you will have to figure out on your own by using some trial and error. You will probably make a few mistakes along the way, and will encounter a few obstacles. The only way to get beyond them is by being willing to do whatever it takes to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you.
She dumped you, you didn't dump her. Do you know why she dumped you? She may have told you, or you may have some idea, but what you need to do is dig deep to get to the root of the problem that caused her to break up with you. Chances are that the first ideas that pop into your head will only be the symptoms of some deeper issues. If you wish to get back together, then you are going to have to uncover the real problems, and also be willing to face them head on.
Once you figure out what really went wrong you can then work on solutions. You will be able to arrive at some solutions on your own, but they will be more effective solutions if you get input from your ex girlfriend. The only way that can happen is by the two of you talking about it. That means you will have to let her know that you would like to have another chance. If you have done the previous steps well, and if you are sincere, then she should be willing to at least hear you out. Things may get intense, but the final key of how to win your ex girlfriend after she dumped you is to keep your cool. It may not always be easy, but it is possible, and it will be worth it when the two of you are happily together again.
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