Dealing with ending a relationship is never an easy thing to do, but it is something that people have been doing since the beginning of the species. Even though it is always a difficult thing to do, you can benefit from those who have gone before you. You don't have to navigate all of the negative feelings and heartbreak on your own; instead, you can follow the proven methods that others have used in the past.
The past is a good place to start. What that means is that you need to separate the past from present, and the present from the future. The more you can live in the here and now, the better you will be at dealing with the ending of a relationship. Now, that does not mean you should forget the past or ignore the future, because doing that would be foolish. Your goal is not to pretend that the relationship never happened, but rather to realize that the present is the most important. When your mind is in the present, you have better perspective and will have an easier time coping with a breakup.
You also need to consider the practical aspects of a relationship that's coming to a close. If you have children, then you will need to work out custody arrangements. If there are any bills the two of you have in common, then you will need to sort those out as well. Property is another thing that will have to be divided. This process can be very difficult, but do your best to approach it in a logical manner and you will be able to get through it. This is all about tying up the loose ends that tend to dangle after breaking up, because it gives you a clean slate from which to move forward from.
If you find that you are emotionally troubled, and just can't seem to get better, then seek help from a professional. This can be a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, or a member of the clergy; just having somebody to talk to can work wonders. Some people are embarrassed, or think a counselor will look down on them, but that's not the case. They will be able to give you advice based on your specific situation. Another way to get help is through books that deal with the topic. You can find some excellent titles at your library or online.
There is one other thing to consider, and that is the possibility of getting back together. What you may not know is that the vast majority of relationships can be saved if there is a commitment to making it happen. It won't be easy. There will be an investment of time, emotions and effort, but it can be done. Starting over may not be the obvious solution, but it is another possible way of dealing with ending a relationship.
Showing posts with label relationship problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship problems. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
End Of Relationship Breakup Signals-Tips To Prevent A Breakup
In a perfect world, two people would fall in love and stay together for the rest of their lives. But we live in the real world where couples split apart far too often. However, if you were able to recognize some key end of relationship breakup signals, then you may be able to prevent a breakup from happening.
The first thing you need to do is have a baseline understanding of your partner. In other words, you need to know what their normal behavior is so you will be able to identify strange behavior when it happens. Just about every breakup signal is related to your partner's behavior.
If your partner changes the way they communicate with you, then it's a sign that something is going on. Do they talk to you a lot less? A lot more? Are they using more abusive language? More romantic language? Changes in communication could be a sign of anything, but they can also be a sign that a breakup is just around the corner.
There is a group of behaviors known as emotional distancing. These are any behaviors that break the emotional bond the two of you once had. Sometimes you will see it in their eyes; sometimes it will be a change in the tone of their voice; sometimes you feel it when you touch them. It's one of those things that is hard to explain, but you will know it when you see it. As far as end of relationship breakup signals go, emotional distancing should be your cue to immediately take action to work on making things better.
Odd behavior is another warning sign. This can happen in countless ways, so you need to stay alert. For example, if they seem to be making major excuses for minor things, that's not normal. On the other hand, it may be something that you can't quite specify, but you should trust your gut if things seem off.
One of the hardest signals to notice is when your partner starts to be more romantic than they ever have before. It's easy to assume that they are just being more loving, and besides, it feels good. However, there is also a chance that they are compensating for their own guilt.
To be fair, these breakup signals are not absolute signs of trouble. There could be other logical explanations for their behavior, so don't assume the worst. If you see any of these signals, then you should use them as the basis of a conversation with your partner. Express your concerns in a calm and respectful way, and have a heartfelt discussion.
You may ultimately find that nothing is wrong. Of course there is always a chance that the end of relationship breakup signals were accurate, and things are now coming to an end. It may not be pleasant, but at least you will know and will be able to move on with your life.
The first thing you need to do is have a baseline understanding of your partner. In other words, you need to know what their normal behavior is so you will be able to identify strange behavior when it happens. Just about every breakup signal is related to your partner's behavior.
If your partner changes the way they communicate with you, then it's a sign that something is going on. Do they talk to you a lot less? A lot more? Are they using more abusive language? More romantic language? Changes in communication could be a sign of anything, but they can also be a sign that a breakup is just around the corner.
There is a group of behaviors known as emotional distancing. These are any behaviors that break the emotional bond the two of you once had. Sometimes you will see it in their eyes; sometimes it will be a change in the tone of their voice; sometimes you feel it when you touch them. It's one of those things that is hard to explain, but you will know it when you see it. As far as end of relationship breakup signals go, emotional distancing should be your cue to immediately take action to work on making things better.
Odd behavior is another warning sign. This can happen in countless ways, so you need to stay alert. For example, if they seem to be making major excuses for minor things, that's not normal. On the other hand, it may be something that you can't quite specify, but you should trust your gut if things seem off.
One of the hardest signals to notice is when your partner starts to be more romantic than they ever have before. It's easy to assume that they are just being more loving, and besides, it feels good. However, there is also a chance that they are compensating for their own guilt.
To be fair, these breakup signals are not absolute signs of trouble. There could be other logical explanations for their behavior, so don't assume the worst. If you see any of these signals, then you should use them as the basis of a conversation with your partner. Express your concerns in a calm and respectful way, and have a heartfelt discussion.
You may ultimately find that nothing is wrong. Of course there is always a chance that the end of relationship breakup signals were accurate, and things are now coming to an end. It may not be pleasant, but at least you will know and will be able to move on with your life.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner-List Of Thoughts To Keep In Mind
Anybody that tells you being in a relationship is easy has never been in a real relationship. In fact, a trip to your local library will give you some idea of how many people need help for their relationships. You can use books or anything else when evaluating your relationship with your partner, but how you do it isn't as important as just doing it. Here are some things to keep in mind as you take a closer look at your relationship.
You have to be willing to accept the facts when you uncover them. While you will most likely discover a lot of good things about your relationship, you will also find a few things that need improvement. Do not ignore the bad stuff, and do not try to justify it away. You need to face the facts, and then do what needs to be done to make things better. After all, the purpose of evaluating your relationship with your partner is to learn more about that relationship; not liking the answers is not a reason to ignore those answers.
The tricky part of the evaluation is going in without any expectations about the results. For example, if you go in asking something like "are we going to stay together," then that will skew your results. You are aiming for a true evaluation, and not trying to verify a suspicion. Be open-minded and honest as you go through the process and you will get a more accurate result.
Here are a few unbiased questions that you can ask:
1. What do you want from your relationship? Don't worry about being selfish and answer this question honestly and thoroughly. It doesn't matter if you want financial security, emotional comfort, a partner to have fun with, or anything else; what matters is that you identify what is you want your relationship to provide.
2. What does your partner want? The other side of the coin is finding out what your partner wants from the relationship. Don't be judgmental and do your best to foster an atmosphere of openness. Some of the things they say may surprise or upset you, and that's okay because you are only in the discovery stage.
3. What do you like best about your partner and your relationship? Try to think of all the different aspects of your relationship and look for as much good stuff as you can.
4. What do you like least? No person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, but you can't fix something unless you know it's a problem.
5. Where is your relationship in comparison to where you want it to be? This is the final step of evaluating your relationship with your partner. You know what you both want from your relationship, what you like, and what you don't. Now you have to take everything you have discovered and see how close to the mark you are. How much work needs to be done will depend upon many factors, but at least you now have a good idea of what to do.
You have to be willing to accept the facts when you uncover them. While you will most likely discover a lot of good things about your relationship, you will also find a few things that need improvement. Do not ignore the bad stuff, and do not try to justify it away. You need to face the facts, and then do what needs to be done to make things better. After all, the purpose of evaluating your relationship with your partner is to learn more about that relationship; not liking the answers is not a reason to ignore those answers.
The tricky part of the evaluation is going in without any expectations about the results. For example, if you go in asking something like "are we going to stay together," then that will skew your results. You are aiming for a true evaluation, and not trying to verify a suspicion. Be open-minded and honest as you go through the process and you will get a more accurate result.
Here are a few unbiased questions that you can ask:
1. What do you want from your relationship? Don't worry about being selfish and answer this question honestly and thoroughly. It doesn't matter if you want financial security, emotional comfort, a partner to have fun with, or anything else; what matters is that you identify what is you want your relationship to provide.
2. What does your partner want? The other side of the coin is finding out what your partner wants from the relationship. Don't be judgmental and do your best to foster an atmosphere of openness. Some of the things they say may surprise or upset you, and that's okay because you are only in the discovery stage.
3. What do you like best about your partner and your relationship? Try to think of all the different aspects of your relationship and look for as much good stuff as you can.
4. What do you like least? No person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, but you can't fix something unless you know it's a problem.
5. Where is your relationship in comparison to where you want it to be? This is the final step of evaluating your relationship with your partner. You know what you both want from your relationship, what you like, and what you don't. Now you have to take everything you have discovered and see how close to the mark you are. How much work needs to be done will depend upon many factors, but at least you now have a good idea of what to do.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back After She Left You
Ugh! Why is it that relationships have to be so complicated? One moment things seem to be going great, and the next moment you want to know how to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you. Before you start doing anything to win her back, you need to make absolutely sure that you really want her back. Perhaps you are just assuming you should get back together, but do some soul searching first, before you start taking action. From this point forward, we will assume that you are 100% sure about wanting to get back together.
You need a plan if you want to get anywhere. If you don't have a plan then you will expend a lot of effort getting to an unknown point, and you won't even know when you haven't arrived. Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Yes it does, and that's another reason why you need a plan; it will give your purpose more clarity. Decide what your end goal is, and then start working backwards from there, figuring out what steps will eventually lead you there.
Now, if you knew what steps to take, you wouldn't be reading this, right? There is some truth to that statement, but there also some things that you will have to figure out on your own by using some trial and error. You will probably make a few mistakes along the way, and will encounter a few obstacles. The only way to get beyond them is by being willing to do whatever it takes to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you.
She dumped you, you didn't dump her. Do you know why she dumped you? She may have told you, or you may have some idea, but what you need to do is dig deep to get to the root of the problem that caused her to break up with you. Chances are that the first ideas that pop into your head will only be the symptoms of some deeper issues. If you wish to get back together, then you are going to have to uncover the real problems, and also be willing to face them head on.
Once you figure out what really went wrong you can then work on solutions. You will be able to arrive at some solutions on your own, but they will be more effective solutions if you get input from your ex girlfriend. The only way that can happen is by the two of you talking about it. That means you will have to let her know that you would like to have another chance. If you have done the previous steps well, and if you are sincere, then she should be willing to at least hear you out. Things may get intense, but the final key of how to win your ex girlfriend after she dumped you is to keep your cool. It may not always be easy, but it is possible, and it will be worth it when the two of you are happily together again.
You need a plan if you want to get anywhere. If you don't have a plan then you will expend a lot of effort getting to an unknown point, and you won't even know when you haven't arrived. Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Yes it does, and that's another reason why you need a plan; it will give your purpose more clarity. Decide what your end goal is, and then start working backwards from there, figuring out what steps will eventually lead you there.
Now, if you knew what steps to take, you wouldn't be reading this, right? There is some truth to that statement, but there also some things that you will have to figure out on your own by using some trial and error. You will probably make a few mistakes along the way, and will encounter a few obstacles. The only way to get beyond them is by being willing to do whatever it takes to win your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you.
She dumped you, you didn't dump her. Do you know why she dumped you? She may have told you, or you may have some idea, but what you need to do is dig deep to get to the root of the problem that caused her to break up with you. Chances are that the first ideas that pop into your head will only be the symptoms of some deeper issues. If you wish to get back together, then you are going to have to uncover the real problems, and also be willing to face them head on.
Once you figure out what really went wrong you can then work on solutions. You will be able to arrive at some solutions on your own, but they will be more effective solutions if you get input from your ex girlfriend. The only way that can happen is by the two of you talking about it. That means you will have to let her know that you would like to have another chance. If you have done the previous steps well, and if you are sincere, then she should be willing to at least hear you out. Things may get intense, but the final key of how to win your ex girlfriend after she dumped you is to keep your cool. It may not always be easy, but it is possible, and it will be worth it when the two of you are happily together again.
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