The Effects Of A Healthy Apology

What are the effects of a healthy apology, and just what is a healthy apology? To me, any apology that is sincere is well on the way to being healthy.

One of the reasons many couple's break up is that they simply have trouble communicating and that communication includes the ability to apologize.

So, the effects of a healthy apology may just be to help you save your marriage or relationship.

The exact way you apologize will depend on you and your personality as well as the personality of your partner.

If you are very easy going and have a fun personality but your partner tends to be more serious, a "funny" apology may not be the best way to go.

Another thing you should always keep in mind is that if you are going to apologize, you want to try to make sure you won't make the same mistakes again.

When my kids were young I would always tell them that if they mess up providing a sincere apology was the right thing to do, but it was only part of the equation.

I explained to them that unless they did everything in their power to make sure they never made the same mistake again, their apology really was not all that sincere.

This should be another aspect of your apology, though your partner may never know, just analyze what you did wrong and, more importantly, figure out what changes you can make so you never make the same mistake again.

If you keep doing the same things over and over again, your partner will eventually learn not to believe your apology, and they will probably start to resent the heck out of you and your phony apologies.

By making a sincere apology when you mess up and making changes to your behavior you can avoid the dangerous game of  messing up, apologize, make up, mess up again.

Unless you and your partner are in your teens, this pattern will quickly lose it's appeal and will quickly grow old... as will  your relationship.

Maturity and honesty are two of the most important factors when it comes to making any type of relationship strong and healthy.

Learning how to admit you are wrong and make an apology can not only pay huge dividends in your relationships, all of your relationships, not just the romantic variety, it can also make you a more mature and well rounded person.

Facing your own challenges and less than desirable personality traits can help you grow as a human being. When you face some issues you are then in a position to make changes. All of that can add up to make you a better person.

And that can make you a happier and emotionally healthier person to be around... which means you will likely be a lot more popular!

Take the time to learn to identify and own your mistakes by apologizing when you make them. Learning to be a better version of yourself can help your relationships and that is one of the effects of a healthy apology.

Sorry Is Sometimes Hard To Say-Really Is It

You know, I may be weird (just ask anyone!) but I have never fully understood why people say that sorry is sometimes hard to say.

While I don't like to admit I'm wrong I find it easier to say I'm sorry, than to pretend that I didn't screw up and try to move on.

To me, it takes an awful lot of work to try to get over the feelings of guilt I get when I know I'm wrong.

Sorry is sometimes hard to say and can be humbling, but in the long run I find it kind of therapeutic.

I don't have to "pretend" I wasn't wrong when I know darn well I was. It takes a lot more effort to pretend that I wasn't wrong than to just come out and offer a sincere apology.

Another thing I have noticed is the fact that people seem to be afraid to apologize because they think it will make them look weak.

Or they sometimes think that the other person doesn't really know that they've screwed up and if they admit they messed up, by apologizing, the other person will get mad.

That may be true but in my experience the people I know seem to really respect me when I stood up and admitted my mistake and apologized.

See, I don't view an apology as a sign of weakness, quite the opposite in fact. It takes a heck of a lot of guts to admit to yourself, let alone someone else, that you made a mistake.

I think that kind of courage is a sign of strength, more strength than most people seem to have.

Anyone worth their salt should admire and respect you for having the strength and courage to admit that you made a mistake.

And truthfully, if they don't, maybe they aren't someone worth your time anyway.

If a person doesn't really respect the fact that it was tough for you to admit you were wrong and admire you for doing it anyway, they may have some character flaws themselves.

If you find it ridiculously difficult to apologize, you should probably take a long look at the type of person you are.

More than likely, if you're strong enough to admit it, you will find that you have some fairly bad character traits.

Not being willing to learn from your mistakes, admit them and apologize for them probably makes you a very insecure and difficult person to be around.

It may be time for you to make some changes. It may not even be as difficult as you think it will be.

When I was younger I had a very hard time apologizing and admitting I was wrong. And it took time to change.

But I can tell you that when I matured enough to be able to admit being wrong and apologize it really was freeing and it really did make life easier for me and those around me.

So today I don't feel that sorry is sometimes hard to say, I actually find it kind of liberating to not have to always feel the need to be right.