Monday, July 20, 2009

Moving On - Break Up Advice

Sheila knew it was time to be moving on. Break up with her boyfriend Mike had just happened. She knew there was no chance of getting back together, so she had to get on with her life.

First, Sheila tried talking to her friends about the break up. At first, they were sympathetic. But soon, they became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own issues. Sheila became frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mom, on the other hand, couldn’t talk about anything but Mike. She thought Sheila was insane to let him get away. It sometimes seemed like her mom had been more in love with Mike than Sheila ever was.

After a few weeks, Sheila decided to go to a therapist for five sessions. Over the course of a few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.

The first thing she did was to for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Mike’s things. Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back. Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away. And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Mike.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Mike was around. For instance, Mike would never go to the ballet with her. Sheila had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle. When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went. This is not something she would have done if she had been together with Mike.

She also decided to join an adult dance class. Partially, it got her out of the house two nights a week. It also got her back into shape. But, she was able to meet new people as well. She liked the comraderie of the class.

She also explored new passions. She never knew much about fine wines. Mike had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white. But when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate. She began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine.

And, she met Robert. Robert was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food. He was also interested in Sheila.

Part of how Sheila knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Mike was that she was interested in Robert.

Sheila doesn’t know whether the relationship with Robert is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling. But she does know that she doesn’t miss Mike when Robert is around. And that’s moving on break up advice!

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