Tuesday, July 7, 2009

How Get Your Ex Back Let Her Make The First Move

Do you wonder how get your ex back? So did Mike O’Casey. His girlfriend had stormed out one day and said “I don’t ever want to see you again. Mike was devastated to say the least. He was desperate and wanted to know how get your ex back.

The first thing Mike needs to realize is that his ex, Valerie, needs some space. She was apparently stressed and / or angry about something and she needs to recoup.

The last thing Valerie needs is for Mike to jump in and start phoning, texting, and e-mailing her. She does not need flowers or love letters. These are all things not to do when you wonder how get your ex back.

Alternatively, he should wait for Valerie to call him. She will have to contact him sooner or later, if only to arrange to pick up the things she has at his house. She's also going to want closure on the situation.

At this point, Mike needs to be ready to make his move. He needs to be open to talking about the problems that their relationship was going through and admit his role in them. He also needs to confront Valerie on the things she was doing that caused challenges in their partnership.

Mike and Valerie need to have a long candid talk. But, Valerie needs to initiate the contact.

When somebody has just walked out of your life, you might feel a need to grab them back. This is the wrong maneuver.

There was apparently a problem that needed a grand gesture on your ex’s part. Once he or she gets that out of their system, you're ready to make progress on the problem.

But, if you crowd your ex, you tell him or her that you're desperate for their love. You let them know that they're completely calling the shots. When you give in this way, you're really pushing them away.

If you're wondering how get ex back, you should begin by giving him or her the space needed to get some perspective on the relationship. If you do not, you will drive them even further away.

Your ex is obviously attracted to you. He or she would have left quietly if they just wanted to move on. The good news is that the grand gesture or dramatics lets you know that they still have a considerable amount of emotional energy invested in the relationship.

But, do not squander that emotional energy by pursuing them prematurely. Let your ex settle down and get some perspective. Only then will you be able to solve the problems in your relationship.

Mike was patient and waited for Valerie to call him. When she did, she was fairly embarrassed about how she had left things. When Mike suggested they meet for coffee and discuss things, she readily agreed. Valerie wanted to get their relationship back on track, and the way Valerie handled things allowed her to have the space she needed to do so.

And, that's how get your ex back.

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