Getting Over Break Up When Your Heart Is Broken

A couple of things are more painful than having your heart broken.

Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up. Occasionally you are the one who called it off and other times your ex did, but in either case, there's pain on both sides. And, occasionally the break up happened for good reasons while other times it appeared to go up in a puff of smoke for no reason at all. These can be the most painful of all.

If you do not go about getting over the break up though, there could be a few serious consequences. Do not fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love. The worst trap of all is to begin to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.

Firstly, you should realize that if you do not get over your ex, it will be toxic to any future relationship you may have.

Second, realize that you can not run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it. You have to face the pain head on and deal with it.

There is no way out of a broken heart. There is only a way through. Accept that there is going to be pain. Use the time during this period to understand the hurt. Some ways to do this are to write in a journal, get counseling, or pour your heart out in song. Recognize there are no fast solutions to getting over break up.

Next, you need to examine whether there's anything in your past that would have lead to this break up. For example, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship? Take note of those things because they'll help you foster healthier relationships in the future.

Do not paint yourself as the victim of the relationship either. Take responsibility for your actions. While your ex might have been the one whose “fault” was the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you.

By eliminating your “victim story” you become a healthier, more attractive partner for a future boyfriend or girlfriend. You will begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

When you handle your broken heart badly, you perpetuate your pain. You will never go about getting over break up.

But, when you are able to handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable healing.

Getting over a broken heart takes work. It also takes time. Do not underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.

You have just lost a person who was extremely important to your life. But, use this time for growth and you'll become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future. That's how you really go about getting over break up.