Your Affair-Own Up To Your Mistake

If you need to find out how to save your marriage after your affair, the first thing you need to figure out is if the marriage is worth saving. Ask yourself why you had the affair in the first place.

If you have turned a new leaf and can honestly say why you had your affair in the first place then you can get down to the root of the issue and make an honest apology for your mistake. If you thought that for some reason your spouse did not love you anymore then you need to find out if that is the case.

You should have done this before you even thought about cheating but doing it now is better than not doing it at all.

One major point, do not pretend that the affair did not happen. The fact that it did is the biggest issue the two of you need to face if you are going to try to make things better. Sit down together or with a counselor to try to figure out what all the problems were and the reason for the infidelity.

This will not be easy and feelings will get hurt on both sides. Realizing that we all have things that we do not like about the ones we love is sometimes hard to face. This may be the entire problem. You found someone who was completely different from the one you say you love and it was exciting and passionate right from the beginning.

I would like you to think back and remember how things were when you first met your spouse-to-be. Remember the excitement and passion that the two of you shared? If that is all you were looking for it might still be there in your relationship.

What you should have done is try to find ways to bring that excitement and passion back to your marriage instead of finding it with someone else.

Oh well, what's done is done and if you now want to truly try to put your marriage back together you should concentrate on making amends to your spouse. He or she is probably very hurt and feeling rejected at this point and you need to do everything you can to make him or her feel like they are the only person in the world for you again.

Taking your problems to a reliable therapist or talking to your pastor may give you some pointers on making things right again. You must give your spouse some room to breathe and figure things out on their own as well. Do not crowd them or force them to do things they may not want to do. Do not be demanding in any way, you lost that right when you strayed.

Agree with everything they say even if they are angry and lay blame for all their current problems on you. And I cannot say this enough, apologize, apologize, apologize. You will have to apologize for everything, I don't care what it is. If she thinks you spent too much time in the bathroom, apologize.

Eventually things will calm down and get better but if you are the one who had your affair you must do all you can to help the relationship heal.