I recently read a novel and I was impressed with something one of the main characters had to say. It had to do with helping people work on problems in their marriage and the marriage definition that would work for them.
The character, who was a priest, was telling someone about a couples counseling class he just got through with. He was disheartened because he saw so plainly what many in the class did not; most of them married the wrong people.
He observed that since they were in a marriage with someone that they really weren't compatible with that they would never be truly fulfilled in that relationship.
He wanted to be able to tell them that they should just move on, but of course being a priest, he could not.
I think that is a huge, and often overlooked, point. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons or they just each have their own unique marriage definition and aren't compatible with their partner.
If that is the case, and you and your partner have a really wide divide in your outlooks, it will be virtually impossible to have a happy and fulfilling marriage.
For anyone out there who is not married I urge you to move slowly before you decide to tie the knot. Really get to know your would be partner.
Don't turn a blind eye to the trouble signs that are right in front of you. Many times people will make excuses and ignore what is right in front of their face.
But, if you do that, you risk your future happiness. Now, no one is suggesting that you shouldn't get married until you meet someone perfect.
If perfection is your ultimate goal you will be single for a very long time. No, what I'm referring to is simply finding someone who is perfect for you.
Someone who has a similar outlook on life, both with the big and little things.
Someone who won't require too much compromise on your part.
Being able, and willing, to compromise is an integral part of any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise.
But, if you find that you are constantly compromising and the two of you seem to almost never find common ground, that will get old very quickly.
If that is the case you must face the reality that the two of you simply are not compatible.
If you keep your eyes wide open from the start and don't let unrealistic romantic expectations cloud your judgement, you can avoid being hurt later on.
Instead of ignoring warning signs and allowing yourself to become involved, only to be miserable later and having to suffer or break it off, why not be aware and break things off early if it becomes apparent that you two aren't compatible?
Your marriage definition is basically what you think a marriage should be and what you think the roles of each partner should be. Make your life easier and marry someone with similar outlooks. That way you will have a much better chance of finding true happiness.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment