Friday, January 6, 2012

How To Get Back With Your Ex-Its Not Hopeless

Everything seems hopeless after a break up, and you're not sure how you can get through another day. Yet, somewhere in the back of your mind, a little voice keeps asking how to get back with your ex. It may seem hopeless, but you can take comfort in the fact that the vast majority of broken relationships can be put back together. However, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Chances are that just about everybody you know is going to start offering advice on how to get back with your ex. A lot of that advice will be absolutely useless, a small portion of it could end up doing more harm than good, and some will be helpful; so how can you tell which advice is worth following and which isn't? The answer is quite simple: look at the relationship of the person offering the advice. If they constantly have problems with their partner or go through break up after break up, then you can safely ignore their advice, no matter how well-intentioned it may be. However, if the person has been happily involved with the same person for many years, then it stands to reason that they are doing something right, and that their advice is worth heeding.

Your first instinct after a break up may be to go running back to your ex, in the hopes that you can successfully beg or plead for them take you back. That rarely works, but even if it does, it will put you at a disadvantage in the relationship. Resist the temptation to go to your ex right away. A much better thing to do is wait for a while, maybe as much as a month or two, before contacting your ex. You both need some time away from each other to sort things out on your own and to calm down.

While you are taking a break from each other you should try to figure out exactly what led to your break up. That means digging deep and getting to the root causes. Figuring out the symptoms is easy; figuring out the cause of those symptoms can be difficult. As you're digging you may find some things that make you uncomfortable, but that's actually a good sign that you are getting to where you need to be. Stick with it, and keep trying to figure out what really went wrong.

After figuring out the problem, the next step of how to get back with your ex is to come up with some ideas on how to fix those problems. At this point you only have a few basic choices: forgive, forget or confront. The severity of the problem and how much control you have over it will help you determine which course of action is best.

Now you are ready to get in touch with your ex again. Stay calm and don't overdo it. How to get back with your ex is a matter of having a plan and sticking with it.

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