If your relationship needs work and you have a lot of unanswered questions finding marriage seminars may be of some help to you.
The first thing marriage seminars will tell you is the two of you need to learn to communicate better. Send the kids out with grandma and grandpa for the length of the meeting and get down to the nitty gritty of the relationship.
Start by making a pact that neither of you is allowed to get mad at what is presented at this meeting. Each of you will be required to list what you each think is good and bad about your relationship. Make this list as complete as possible. You do not have all night and need to try to get at least some of your questions answered.
Come up with ways to make each item listed better or go away all together. Be creative with your ideas, if you both end up laughing during the session so much the better.
Make a commitment to each other that you will both do everything you can to make your relationship a better one. This is the first step in relearning how to work together in your relationship and before you know it everyone will be much happier. Even your kids will notice the decreased tension in the household.
Part of the session may include how to get back to doing and appreciating the little things for each other again. It is too bad that we all get complacent and stop doing the things that make relationships special when we were just getting to know one another. If the love continues, then there is hope for the two of you and your relationship.
If you do not already have a date night, choose one night of the week for one. Go to a favorite restaurant each week or make it a little more interesting and adventurous and choose a different place each week. It does not matter where you go just as long as you go together and keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
Along with these tips you will learn, it might not hurt to check into seeing a relationship counselor just to fine tune some of the things you learn. Someone well versed in helping couples stay together may help. Where there is love there is always hope. If there are issues that the two of you cannot work out by yourselves this is the best option to make things better. A good counselor will work with both of you, separately and together, to come up with ways to compromise that are acceptable to each of you.
If lack of communication is an issue in your relationship, marriage seminars and a good counselor can show you better ways to communicate with each other and give you exercises to do at home so you can practice. No one is born knowing how to communicate effectively, you have to learn it. So do not feel bad by having to ask for help just feel good that your marriage will not become just another statistic.
Showing posts with label Marriage Counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage Counseling. Show all posts
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Marriage Definition-Interpet As An Individual
I recently read a novel and I was impressed with something one of the main characters had to say. It had to do with helping people work on problems in their marriage and the marriage definition that would work for them.
The character, who was a priest, was telling someone about a couples counseling class he just got through with. He was disheartened because he saw so plainly what many in the class did not; most of them married the wrong people.
He observed that since they were in a marriage with someone that they really weren't compatible with that they would never be truly fulfilled in that relationship.
He wanted to be able to tell them that they should just move on, but of course being a priest, he could not.
I think that is a huge, and often overlooked, point. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons or they just each have their own unique marriage definition and aren't compatible with their partner.
If that is the case, and you and your partner have a really wide divide in your outlooks, it will be virtually impossible to have a happy and fulfilling marriage.
For anyone out there who is not married I urge you to move slowly before you decide to tie the knot. Really get to know your would be partner.
Don't turn a blind eye to the trouble signs that are right in front of you. Many times people will make excuses and ignore what is right in front of their face.
But, if you do that, you risk your future happiness. Now, no one is suggesting that you shouldn't get married until you meet someone perfect.
If perfection is your ultimate goal you will be single for a very long time. No, what I'm referring to is simply finding someone who is perfect for you.
Someone who has a similar outlook on life, both with the big and little things.
Someone who won't require too much compromise on your part.
Being able, and willing, to compromise is an integral part of any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise.
But, if you find that you are constantly compromising and the two of you seem to almost never find common ground, that will get old very quickly.
If that is the case you must face the reality that the two of you simply are not compatible.
If you keep your eyes wide open from the start and don't let unrealistic romantic expectations cloud your judgement, you can avoid being hurt later on.
Instead of ignoring warning signs and allowing yourself to become involved, only to be miserable later and having to suffer or break it off, why not be aware and break things off early if it becomes apparent that you two aren't compatible?
Your marriage definition is basically what you think a marriage should be and what you think the roles of each partner should be. Make your life easier and marry someone with similar outlooks. That way you will have a much better chance of finding true happiness.
The character, who was a priest, was telling someone about a couples counseling class he just got through with. He was disheartened because he saw so plainly what many in the class did not; most of them married the wrong people.
He observed that since they were in a marriage with someone that they really weren't compatible with that they would never be truly fulfilled in that relationship.
He wanted to be able to tell them that they should just move on, but of course being a priest, he could not.
I think that is a huge, and often overlooked, point. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons or they just each have their own unique marriage definition and aren't compatible with their partner.
If that is the case, and you and your partner have a really wide divide in your outlooks, it will be virtually impossible to have a happy and fulfilling marriage.
For anyone out there who is not married I urge you to move slowly before you decide to tie the knot. Really get to know your would be partner.
Don't turn a blind eye to the trouble signs that are right in front of you. Many times people will make excuses and ignore what is right in front of their face.
But, if you do that, you risk your future happiness. Now, no one is suggesting that you shouldn't get married until you meet someone perfect.
If perfection is your ultimate goal you will be single for a very long time. No, what I'm referring to is simply finding someone who is perfect for you.
Someone who has a similar outlook on life, both with the big and little things.
Someone who won't require too much compromise on your part.
Being able, and willing, to compromise is an integral part of any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise.
But, if you find that you are constantly compromising and the two of you seem to almost never find common ground, that will get old very quickly.
If that is the case you must face the reality that the two of you simply are not compatible.
If you keep your eyes wide open from the start and don't let unrealistic romantic expectations cloud your judgement, you can avoid being hurt later on.
Instead of ignoring warning signs and allowing yourself to become involved, only to be miserable later and having to suffer or break it off, why not be aware and break things off early if it becomes apparent that you two aren't compatible?
Your marriage definition is basically what you think a marriage should be and what you think the roles of each partner should be. Make your life easier and marry someone with similar outlooks. That way you will have a much better chance of finding true happiness.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Online Marriage Counseling
The internet is becoming more and more popular for all types of things. Today you can even get online marriage counseling. Why would you want to do that? Well, there are many advantages to going to the internet to get help with your marriage.
Of course, it may not be your cup of tea. You should also make sure to discuss this option with your spouse first. If one of you isn't comfortable with the idea of an online therapist, it won't work.
To make counseling work you both have to be willing participants and feel comfortable. So if your spouse is reluctant to try this type of counseling, don't try to push them. That will only add one more level of stress to an already stressful relationship.
Before you decide whether or not online marriage counseling can help you or if you think that this may be the perfect type of counseling for you, I've compiled a list of some factors that you should take into consideration.
Here are some issues to consider before jumping online for your therapy:
1. Going online for your marriage therapy can make it easier to work around tough schedules. If you and your spouse have uncertain or changing work schedules, it may be easier to get an online therapist.
You will most likely have an easier time of finding hours that will accommodate your schedule.
2. Since there is a level of anonymity you and your spouse may find it easier to open up about personal issues.
These are the very issues that may be causing the trouble in your relationship so if you don't open up about them and learn to deal with them, you will have a hard time making progress.
Not actually being in the same room with the counselor makes it much easier for many people to talk more openly about extremely personal issues.
Having this open dialog is one of the first steps to take in order to be able to resolve the conflicts in your relationship.
3. Online counseling can be done via private chat, webcam, email and even over the phone. Find the method(s) that you feel the most comfortable with and then find a counselor that can accommodate you with that method of communicating.
At the end of the day the most important thing to save your marriage is to find a competent counselor who you like and trust and who you feel comfortable enough with to discuss some very intimate details about your relationship.
Being able to "talk" to the counselor online is much less threatening for many people. That makes it easier to get to the bottom of the issues that are really bothering you.
No matter what type of counseling you decide to get, offline right in their office or online marriage counseling, it is important to be willing to truly open up and be honest. If going online makes that easier than do it. Without honesty you just won't be able to make the changes that need to be made.
Of course, it may not be your cup of tea. You should also make sure to discuss this option with your spouse first. If one of you isn't comfortable with the idea of an online therapist, it won't work.
To make counseling work you both have to be willing participants and feel comfortable. So if your spouse is reluctant to try this type of counseling, don't try to push them. That will only add one more level of stress to an already stressful relationship.
Before you decide whether or not online marriage counseling can help you or if you think that this may be the perfect type of counseling for you, I've compiled a list of some factors that you should take into consideration.
Here are some issues to consider before jumping online for your therapy:
1. Going online for your marriage therapy can make it easier to work around tough schedules. If you and your spouse have uncertain or changing work schedules, it may be easier to get an online therapist.
You will most likely have an easier time of finding hours that will accommodate your schedule.
2. Since there is a level of anonymity you and your spouse may find it easier to open up about personal issues.
These are the very issues that may be causing the trouble in your relationship so if you don't open up about them and learn to deal with them, you will have a hard time making progress.
Not actually being in the same room with the counselor makes it much easier for many people to talk more openly about extremely personal issues.
Having this open dialog is one of the first steps to take in order to be able to resolve the conflicts in your relationship.
3. Online counseling can be done via private chat, webcam, email and even over the phone. Find the method(s) that you feel the most comfortable with and then find a counselor that can accommodate you with that method of communicating.
At the end of the day the most important thing to save your marriage is to find a competent counselor who you like and trust and who you feel comfortable enough with to discuss some very intimate details about your relationship.
Being able to "talk" to the counselor online is much less threatening for many people. That makes it easier to get to the bottom of the issues that are really bothering you.
No matter what type of counseling you decide to get, offline right in their office or online marriage counseling, it is important to be willing to truly open up and be honest. If going online makes that easier than do it. Without honesty you just won't be able to make the changes that need to be made.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Marriage Counseling Advice
Want some marriage counseling advice? I'm glad you asked. It's important to find a counselor who is qualified, but what does that mean?
There is more to being qualified than just having a bunch of diplomas on the wall. Not all counselors, no matter what their diplomas say, are good.
They may have the "training" but that does not necessarily mean that they are good at helping people achieve their goals. It's as much about chemistry between you and your counselor as anything else.
I, and some other people I know, have gone to counselors who really didn't seem to get what they wanted. Others, have gone to counselors who really didn't provide much in the way of "support".
They would let their patient talk and talk (and for some folks, that's all they really need or want) but they never provided any real world tools that could help the patient actively make the changes in their marriage that they wanted to make.
Many people want those tools. They want specific things to do or say that will bring about the changes they are hoping for. This is one thing to consider before you start going to a particular counselor. What do you want from them?
Do you just want someone who will listen or do you want someone who can show you some actual techniques (as opposed to theories) that you can start using right away?
It's important that you know what you want and find a counselor who practices in that way.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to know what you want in your marriage too. Many people will think that they want to save the marriage, and in most cases this is what they want, but only to a point.
What most people really want is to feel like they are loved and understood by their spouse. That feeling of being loved and understood is more important than just saving the marriage.
And here is where it can get tough, your spouse may not be willing to make the changes needed to provide you with the type of marriage you really want. In other words, it may not be in your best interest to save the marriage at all.
Tough to hear, I know, but it's the truth. You should probably try to find a counselor who isn't afraid to tell you the truth, even if you might not always want to hear it.
This scenario was played out by my sister several years ago; Her husband was extremely abusive to her and the kids. It wasn't any type of physical abuse, but it was severe and it was abuse.
My sister went to a counselor associated with her church. This counselor actually made her feel guilty because she had finally had enough and was ready to leave the marriage.
The counselor was so "stuck" in his religious beliefs that he wasn't able to help my sister at all. He was unable or unwilling to try to stay objective and consider what was best for my sister and her kids. All he could think of was that the marriage must be saved at all costs.
To me, that kind of mindless "let's save the marriage no matter what" type of thinking has no place with any counselor. I caution you to carefully look at any counselor before you hire them.
If they seem more inclined to be concerned with maintaining their own beliefs rather than helping you, run don't walk. Find someone who is not only qualified, but willing and able to help you decide what is best for you. That is the best marriage counseling advice I can give.
There is more to being qualified than just having a bunch of diplomas on the wall. Not all counselors, no matter what their diplomas say, are good.
They may have the "training" but that does not necessarily mean that they are good at helping people achieve their goals. It's as much about chemistry between you and your counselor as anything else.
I, and some other people I know, have gone to counselors who really didn't seem to get what they wanted. Others, have gone to counselors who really didn't provide much in the way of "support".
They would let their patient talk and talk (and for some folks, that's all they really need or want) but they never provided any real world tools that could help the patient actively make the changes in their marriage that they wanted to make.
Many people want those tools. They want specific things to do or say that will bring about the changes they are hoping for. This is one thing to consider before you start going to a particular counselor. What do you want from them?
Do you just want someone who will listen or do you want someone who can show you some actual techniques (as opposed to theories) that you can start using right away?
It's important that you know what you want and find a counselor who practices in that way.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to know what you want in your marriage too. Many people will think that they want to save the marriage, and in most cases this is what they want, but only to a point.
What most people really want is to feel like they are loved and understood by their spouse. That feeling of being loved and understood is more important than just saving the marriage.
And here is where it can get tough, your spouse may not be willing to make the changes needed to provide you with the type of marriage you really want. In other words, it may not be in your best interest to save the marriage at all.
Tough to hear, I know, but it's the truth. You should probably try to find a counselor who isn't afraid to tell you the truth, even if you might not always want to hear it.
This scenario was played out by my sister several years ago; Her husband was extremely abusive to her and the kids. It wasn't any type of physical abuse, but it was severe and it was abuse.
My sister went to a counselor associated with her church. This counselor actually made her feel guilty because she had finally had enough and was ready to leave the marriage.
The counselor was so "stuck" in his religious beliefs that he wasn't able to help my sister at all. He was unable or unwilling to try to stay objective and consider what was best for my sister and her kids. All he could think of was that the marriage must be saved at all costs.
To me, that kind of mindless "let's save the marriage no matter what" type of thinking has no place with any counselor. I caution you to carefully look at any counselor before you hire them.
If they seem more inclined to be concerned with maintaining their own beliefs rather than helping you, run don't walk. Find someone who is not only qualified, but willing and able to help you decide what is best for you. That is the best marriage counseling advice I can give.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Fix Your Marriage
Since you are reading this article, it's a pretty safe bet that you are worried about the state of your marriage and you want some good advice on how to fix your marriage. Well, you are in the right place.
In this article I'm going to give you some "real world" ideas of things you can start doing today, right now. If you follow this advice you will and your spouse can not only fix your marriage but possibly improve all the relationships in your life.
Here we go:
1. Be realistic. Take a long hard look at you and your spouse. Do both of you really want to work on the marriage? Now is not the time for wishful thinking, it is time for a reality check.
If both of you aren't willing to make changes the odds of you saving your marriage are very low.
2. If you honestly think that both of you are interested in doing what needs to be done to save the marriage, the next step is to determine what to do.
In most cases, the longer a relationship goes on, the more resentments and bitterness have built up. Chipping away at all this "residue" will take time. But first you need to identify it.
That can be difficult. You see, no normal person goes ballistic because their husband left the seat up or because their wife burned the casserole ( a little annoyed and frustrated sure, but not enraged).
The over the top anger usually stems from something else entirely. It has been festering right under the surface and the smallest thing can set it off.
Identifying this festering anger and the real causes behind it will allow both of you to face the old hurts and anger and move on past them.
3. None of what I have talked about is all that hard, however it can still be helpful to find someone to guide the two of you through.
These emotional issues are like landmines, if you don't watch where you step they can blow up in your face. A good counselor can act as a bit of a navigator and a bit of a referee. That may make it possible for the two of you to actually accomplish something worthwhile.
4. And last, but not least, learn how to communicate in an effective non - toxic way. Too many times the old hurts and angers will show up in your words too.
When that happens, the simplest comment can sound like condemnation and it can set your partner off.
No one likes to feel like they are being blamed or judged and if the two of you don't know how to communicate and move past the debris of the past, you will continually set each other off and nothing will get accomplished.
These tips will help you gain perspective and start making positive changes which will make it easier for you to fix your marriage. It can be done, get the help you need and keep a positive attitude and the two of you may just work it out.
In this article I'm going to give you some "real world" ideas of things you can start doing today, right now. If you follow this advice you will and your spouse can not only fix your marriage but possibly improve all the relationships in your life.
Here we go:
1. Be realistic. Take a long hard look at you and your spouse. Do both of you really want to work on the marriage? Now is not the time for wishful thinking, it is time for a reality check.
If both of you aren't willing to make changes the odds of you saving your marriage are very low.
2. If you honestly think that both of you are interested in doing what needs to be done to save the marriage, the next step is to determine what to do.
In most cases, the longer a relationship goes on, the more resentments and bitterness have built up. Chipping away at all this "residue" will take time. But first you need to identify it.
That can be difficult. You see, no normal person goes ballistic because their husband left the seat up or because their wife burned the casserole ( a little annoyed and frustrated sure, but not enraged).
The over the top anger usually stems from something else entirely. It has been festering right under the surface and the smallest thing can set it off.
Identifying this festering anger and the real causes behind it will allow both of you to face the old hurts and anger and move on past them.
3. None of what I have talked about is all that hard, however it can still be helpful to find someone to guide the two of you through.
These emotional issues are like landmines, if you don't watch where you step they can blow up in your face. A good counselor can act as a bit of a navigator and a bit of a referee. That may make it possible for the two of you to actually accomplish something worthwhile.
4. And last, but not least, learn how to communicate in an effective non - toxic way. Too many times the old hurts and angers will show up in your words too.
When that happens, the simplest comment can sound like condemnation and it can set your partner off.
No one likes to feel like they are being blamed or judged and if the two of you don't know how to communicate and move past the debris of the past, you will continually set each other off and nothing will get accomplished.
These tips will help you gain perspective and start making positive changes which will make it easier for you to fix your marriage. It can be done, get the help you need and keep a positive attitude and the two of you may just work it out.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Has Your Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - What Can You Do To Save It
Marriage doesn't seem to carry as much weight as it did many years ago but there are still many people and religions that view marriage as a sacred institution. Marriage is the foundation of a family and without a solid foundation a family can soon fall apart.
The world has changed over the years and as such there seems to be so much more pressure financially which can take its toll on a marriage. There also seems to be more difficulties with children behavior problems these days, whether this is due to the changing roles of men and women or due to the increasing number of additives and preservatives in the foods that they eat, regardless of the cause, the behavior problems can put an incredible strain on the relationship between the parents.
These are just a couple of reasons that a marriage can begin to fail, there are many more. If you feel that your marriage could be on the rocks what can you do to help get it back on track?
Church is one institution that values marriage very highly and as such can be a great place to get help if your marriage is in trouble. You can visit a psychologist or a family therapist for marriage counseling and these can help, but they tend to take a more individualistic approach to marriage counselling. A church pastor will take a holistic approach to making a marriage work and this approach can have a much better chance of saving a marriage.
Is a pastoral counsellor really any better than a secular therapist?
The problem with a secular therapist is that they have been taught to treat individual psychopathologies. Even counsellors that specialize in marriage and family counselling don't often have many classes that deal specifically with couple's therapy. The 'individual' approach is not the approach needed to save a marriage that is a union of two people.
On the other hand, a pastoral counselor is taught to counsel couples as couples to help bring them closer together and repair any problems that have arisen in their marriage. The church believes that marriage is forever and when a couple has taken those marriage vows, a pastoral counsellor will be dedicated to help save that marriage if the couple seeks their help.
There are some pastors that have formal education in counselling as many churches now offer pastoral counseling degrees. There are also many ministers who do not have a formal degree but still have taken seminars and classes on the subject.
If you are not currently a member of any church then it can be a little more difficult finding a pastoral counsellor to help save your marriage. If you're marriage is struggling then you won't want to wait six months to establish a membership in a church before you can approach a paster for counselling.
If you find yourself in this situation and do not have a membership at any church, you can perhaps call some of the churches in your area and enquire about couple retreats where they may hold weekend seminars targeted to saving marriages. If you attend a seminar like this you can then build up a relationship with the pastor and can then possibly follow up with that pastor for some marriage counselling.
Couple's retreats themselves can be very helpful for a troubled marriage. Couple's retreats often run group sessions as well as work with couples individually and can cover a big range of different issues that couple's might face.
Often the biggest problem with many relationships is a lack of communication and these couple's retreats can help you work on your communication skills within your marriage. If you can improve your communication then you might find that many areas of your relationship will also improve.
There are also other issues addresses during couple's retreats, such as finances, sexual relationships and child raising. By addressing all of these issues they can help you to get back on track with each area of your relationship. The hope is that when you leave a couple's retreat you will be much happier and have a better understanding of each other than when you first arrived.
Marriage isn't easy and is something that often needs to be worked at. If you're marriage is having difficulties and you feel like it is falling apart, then you need to take a long look at your relationship and find the good in it and find the reasons why it is worth saving. If you need some help then visit a pastoral counsellor who may be able to help you get your marriage back on track.
The world has changed over the years and as such there seems to be so much more pressure financially which can take its toll on a marriage. There also seems to be more difficulties with children behavior problems these days, whether this is due to the changing roles of men and women or due to the increasing number of additives and preservatives in the foods that they eat, regardless of the cause, the behavior problems can put an incredible strain on the relationship between the parents.
These are just a couple of reasons that a marriage can begin to fail, there are many more. If you feel that your marriage could be on the rocks what can you do to help get it back on track?
Church is one institution that values marriage very highly and as such can be a great place to get help if your marriage is in trouble. You can visit a psychologist or a family therapist for marriage counseling and these can help, but they tend to take a more individualistic approach to marriage counselling. A church pastor will take a holistic approach to making a marriage work and this approach can have a much better chance of saving a marriage.
Is a pastoral counsellor really any better than a secular therapist?
The problem with a secular therapist is that they have been taught to treat individual psychopathologies. Even counsellors that specialize in marriage and family counselling don't often have many classes that deal specifically with couple's therapy. The 'individual' approach is not the approach needed to save a marriage that is a union of two people.
On the other hand, a pastoral counselor is taught to counsel couples as couples to help bring them closer together and repair any problems that have arisen in their marriage. The church believes that marriage is forever and when a couple has taken those marriage vows, a pastoral counsellor will be dedicated to help save that marriage if the couple seeks their help.
There are some pastors that have formal education in counselling as many churches now offer pastoral counseling degrees. There are also many ministers who do not have a formal degree but still have taken seminars and classes on the subject.
If you are not currently a member of any church then it can be a little more difficult finding a pastoral counsellor to help save your marriage. If you're marriage is struggling then you won't want to wait six months to establish a membership in a church before you can approach a paster for counselling.
If you find yourself in this situation and do not have a membership at any church, you can perhaps call some of the churches in your area and enquire about couple retreats where they may hold weekend seminars targeted to saving marriages. If you attend a seminar like this you can then build up a relationship with the pastor and can then possibly follow up with that pastor for some marriage counselling.
Couple's retreats themselves can be very helpful for a troubled marriage. Couple's retreats often run group sessions as well as work with couples individually and can cover a big range of different issues that couple's might face.
Often the biggest problem with many relationships is a lack of communication and these couple's retreats can help you work on your communication skills within your marriage. If you can improve your communication then you might find that many areas of your relationship will also improve.
There are also other issues addresses during couple's retreats, such as finances, sexual relationships and child raising. By addressing all of these issues they can help you to get back on track with each area of your relationship. The hope is that when you leave a couple's retreat you will be much happier and have a better understanding of each other than when you first arrived.
Marriage isn't easy and is something that often needs to be worked at. If you're marriage is having difficulties and you feel like it is falling apart, then you need to take a long look at your relationship and find the good in it and find the reasons why it is worth saving. If you need some help then visit a pastoral counsellor who may be able to help you get your marriage back on track.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Can Marriage Counseling Save A Marriage In Crisis
Every marriage goes through ups and downs. A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters. Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others begin to crumble. For any marriage in crisis, however, marital counseling can help.
Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages--signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.
Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:
• The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.
• The couple doesn’t fight fairly.
• The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.
• The couple doesn’t talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.
• The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.
• The couple has a low level of intimacy--or none.
• The couple doesn’t talk much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.
Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.
Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.
Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:
• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple--and how to meet those needs
Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.
Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages--signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.
Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:
• The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.
• The couple doesn’t fight fairly.
• The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.
• The couple doesn’t talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.
• The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.
• The couple has a low level of intimacy--or none.
• The couple doesn’t talk much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.
Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.
Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.
Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:
• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple--and how to meet those needs
Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.
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