Communication is one of the most important marriage requirements to making your marriage a success. Effective communication skills are not something everyone is born with, however, but they can be learned. If you are struggling with effective communication in your relationship read on to learn some new techniques.
Learning effective, healthy communication techniques will help your relationship become healthy and happy. When that happens you are far more likely to remain in the relationship instead of your marriage becoming just another divorce statistic.
Communication does not just mean speaking. Another important marriage requirements and part of communication is the ability to listen. Sometimes that is all that is needed, just to listen. Your spouse may just need a sounding board to be able to figure something out. After you listen carefully, ask what you can do to help and if there is something to be done then the two of you can try to come to some solution to whatever the problem is.
Communication is very complex and includes spoken and non-spoken signs. Effective communication techniques include all of them and you need to know how to interpret them accurately. Take for instance, if someone is angry, they may glare at you and sit quietly with their arms crossed. This situation is something that needs your immediate attention.
If she is left to fester then she will begin to think that you do not care about how she feels and this will only make matters worse. Reading body language is a skill that you really should perfect. It can tell you so much about how a person is feeling or even if they are lying.
If you are a perceptive person then you can pick up a lot of effective communication techniques just by paying attention to what is going on around you. If you need some help in this regard then you can and should enroll in a communication class at your local community college. This will cost you a little bit of money but it will be worth it if it helps keep your relationship healthy.
Good communication also means paying attention to the little things and letting each other know they are appreciated. Saying thank you to your spouse should never be taken for granted. Showing your appreciation for something is just common courtesy. Never give up saying the "I love you's" or "thank you's". They may just be the most important part of your relationship. Everybody needs to feel appreciated.
Understanding is also another aspect of communication that may need work. What I mean is that not enough, or not the right, questions get asked in any given situation. We assume too much. Assumptions only get you into trouble. So make sure you understand exactly what is going on. If you do not completely understand the situation then ask questions until everything is clear.
Learn the techniques of an effective communication marriage requirements and then practice them daily. Soon they will be second nature to you and your marriage will be so much stronger.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Your Husbands-The Man Of Your Dreams And Passion
When you first met this man of your dreams the passion was like nothing you had ever experienced before. You just could not get enough of each other. You spent every waking moment together and never spent more than a day or two apart. You thought it would be like that forever, didn't you? Now you are wondering how to get your husbands attention back.
The first thing you need to do is to sit down and talk to him face to face. Find out if there is anything wrong in his life. He may just be so stressed out at work that he can no longer see that which is right in front of his face, namely, you.
There are many reasons the passion goes out of a relationship. Every day life gets in the way more often than not, then you start having kids and they take up most of your time and unless you have made sure that the two of you spend at least a little quality time together every week then you tend to drift apart and lose your way back to each other.
All is not lost forever though, you can find your way back to being happy and content in your relationship. All you need to do is reacquaint yourselves with each other and treat this as turning a page in your relationship and start fresh.
If things have gone from bad to worse you could both start seeing a marriage counselor. A good counselor can help you wade through all the muck that has come between you and your spouse. Once your work through everything then you can work on your husbands attention span.
The counselor will probably tell you to make a specific day and time of the week to go out on a date and do all you can to never waiver from that day and time. If you miss even one for any reason the whole reconnecting may fail. Keep your personal lives separate from work or the kids or anything else that has ever gotten in the way of the two of you spending time together.
Plan one weekend every couple of months to get away so the two of you can spend some time alone and de-stress, get to know each other again.
If the kids are all grown and you two do not know what to do when you are by yourselves anymore. Try enrolling at the local community college and taking that class you've been meaning to take while he goes out and plays poker with the guys or watches the game and has a few beers.
Start working out to improve your body and mind. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and if you look and feel better your husband may see the change and like what he sees.
This will at least give the two of you something more to talk about and you can slowly get back to being a couple and commanding all of your husbands attention from now on.
The first thing you need to do is to sit down and talk to him face to face. Find out if there is anything wrong in his life. He may just be so stressed out at work that he can no longer see that which is right in front of his face, namely, you.
There are many reasons the passion goes out of a relationship. Every day life gets in the way more often than not, then you start having kids and they take up most of your time and unless you have made sure that the two of you spend at least a little quality time together every week then you tend to drift apart and lose your way back to each other.
All is not lost forever though, you can find your way back to being happy and content in your relationship. All you need to do is reacquaint yourselves with each other and treat this as turning a page in your relationship and start fresh.
If things have gone from bad to worse you could both start seeing a marriage counselor. A good counselor can help you wade through all the muck that has come between you and your spouse. Once your work through everything then you can work on your husbands attention span.
The counselor will probably tell you to make a specific day and time of the week to go out on a date and do all you can to never waiver from that day and time. If you miss even one for any reason the whole reconnecting may fail. Keep your personal lives separate from work or the kids or anything else that has ever gotten in the way of the two of you spending time together.
Plan one weekend every couple of months to get away so the two of you can spend some time alone and de-stress, get to know each other again.
If the kids are all grown and you two do not know what to do when you are by yourselves anymore. Try enrolling at the local community college and taking that class you've been meaning to take while he goes out and plays poker with the guys or watches the game and has a few beers.
Start working out to improve your body and mind. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and if you look and feel better your husband may see the change and like what he sees.
This will at least give the two of you something more to talk about and you can slowly get back to being a couple and commanding all of your husbands attention from now on.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Pre Marriage Counseling
Many churches require a couple to go through pre marriage counseling in order for them to perform the ceremony. I personally think that that is a great idea, especially if the couple is very young.
No matter what your age, or your maturity level, it can be easy to get overwhelmed in the moment. You fall in love and you are so happy that you never stop to consider that it might not always be that way.
Pre marriage counseling, if done properly, can be a great way for both of you to make sure you are thinking things through and that you aren't just caught up in the moment.
It will "force" the two of you to seriously think about and consider what marriage is really all about. It isn't all "playing house" and having fun.
Here are some of the most common things that will be covered in counseling. Many young couples wouldn't think about, or talk about, these things before they are married if it weren't for the counseling:
1. Finances. Not very romantic I know, but do you have any idea how many fights can stem from financial burdens and concerns? A lot. It is extremely important for the two of you to know how the other thinks about money and money issues.
For example, do both of you think that you should save a little out of each paycheck? If so, how much? What about who will do the bills? Do you think you should both do them or do you think just one person should be in charge?
These may not sound like much but they can really cause problems later in your marriage.
Oh and one word of advice: you both should be involved in the bills. What would happen if only one person did the bills and something happened to them? The other person wouldn't know anything about where the money was, life insurance information, etc. Share the bills.
2. What about your views on having children? Do you both want them? If so, how many? Should one of you stay home and take care of them? If so, which one?
If both of you have careers that are important to you, this can really be a big issue.
If you both love your careers and neither of you wants to be a stay at home parent, the time to discover that is before you have kids (or even before you get married) not after.
3. Roles of each other. If both of you work do you think the household chores should be divvied up evenly? Or does one of you still cling to the notion that housework is "women's work" and lawn work is "mens work"?
If you both work full time, how will you feel if the bulk of the cooking and cleaning still rests on your shoulders? More than likely, after a while, you will start to feel pretty resentful if you feel like you are carrying more of the burden.
Again, these are just a few of the important topics that need to come up before you are married, not after. Covering these un romantic topics early will help ensure no surprises later, and that is what pre marriage counseling is all about.
No matter what your age, or your maturity level, it can be easy to get overwhelmed in the moment. You fall in love and you are so happy that you never stop to consider that it might not always be that way.
Pre marriage counseling, if done properly, can be a great way for both of you to make sure you are thinking things through and that you aren't just caught up in the moment.
It will "force" the two of you to seriously think about and consider what marriage is really all about. It isn't all "playing house" and having fun.
Here are some of the most common things that will be covered in counseling. Many young couples wouldn't think about, or talk about, these things before they are married if it weren't for the counseling:
1. Finances. Not very romantic I know, but do you have any idea how many fights can stem from financial burdens and concerns? A lot. It is extremely important for the two of you to know how the other thinks about money and money issues.
For example, do both of you think that you should save a little out of each paycheck? If so, how much? What about who will do the bills? Do you think you should both do them or do you think just one person should be in charge?
These may not sound like much but they can really cause problems later in your marriage.
Oh and one word of advice: you both should be involved in the bills. What would happen if only one person did the bills and something happened to them? The other person wouldn't know anything about where the money was, life insurance information, etc. Share the bills.
2. What about your views on having children? Do you both want them? If so, how many? Should one of you stay home and take care of them? If so, which one?
If both of you have careers that are important to you, this can really be a big issue.
If you both love your careers and neither of you wants to be a stay at home parent, the time to discover that is before you have kids (or even before you get married) not after.
3. Roles of each other. If both of you work do you think the household chores should be divvied up evenly? Or does one of you still cling to the notion that housework is "women's work" and lawn work is "mens work"?
If you both work full time, how will you feel if the bulk of the cooking and cleaning still rests on your shoulders? More than likely, after a while, you will start to feel pretty resentful if you feel like you are carrying more of the burden.
Again, these are just a few of the important topics that need to come up before you are married, not after. Covering these un romantic topics early will help ensure no surprises later, and that is what pre marriage counseling is all about.
Fix Your Marriage
Since you are reading this article, it's a pretty safe bet that you are worried about the state of your marriage and you want some good advice on how to fix your marriage. Well, you are in the right place.
In this article I'm going to give you some "real world" ideas of things you can start doing today, right now. If you follow this advice you will and your spouse can not only fix your marriage but possibly improve all the relationships in your life.
Here we go:
1. Be realistic. Take a long hard look at you and your spouse. Do both of you really want to work on the marriage? Now is not the time for wishful thinking, it is time for a reality check.
If both of you aren't willing to make changes the odds of you saving your marriage are very low.
2. If you honestly think that both of you are interested in doing what needs to be done to save the marriage, the next step is to determine what to do.
In most cases, the longer a relationship goes on, the more resentments and bitterness have built up. Chipping away at all this "residue" will take time. But first you need to identify it.
That can be difficult. You see, no normal person goes ballistic because their husband left the seat up or because their wife burned the casserole ( a little annoyed and frustrated sure, but not enraged).
The over the top anger usually stems from something else entirely. It has been festering right under the surface and the smallest thing can set it off.
Identifying this festering anger and the real causes behind it will allow both of you to face the old hurts and anger and move on past them.
3. None of what I have talked about is all that hard, however it can still be helpful to find someone to guide the two of you through.
These emotional issues are like landmines, if you don't watch where you step they can blow up in your face. A good counselor can act as a bit of a navigator and a bit of a referee. That may make it possible for the two of you to actually accomplish something worthwhile.
4. And last, but not least, learn how to communicate in an effective non - toxic way. Too many times the old hurts and angers will show up in your words too.
When that happens, the simplest comment can sound like condemnation and it can set your partner off.
No one likes to feel like they are being blamed or judged and if the two of you don't know how to communicate and move past the debris of the past, you will continually set each other off and nothing will get accomplished.
These tips will help you gain perspective and start making positive changes which will make it easier for you to fix your marriage. It can be done, get the help you need and keep a positive attitude and the two of you may just work it out.
In this article I'm going to give you some "real world" ideas of things you can start doing today, right now. If you follow this advice you will and your spouse can not only fix your marriage but possibly improve all the relationships in your life.
Here we go:
1. Be realistic. Take a long hard look at you and your spouse. Do both of you really want to work on the marriage? Now is not the time for wishful thinking, it is time for a reality check.
If both of you aren't willing to make changes the odds of you saving your marriage are very low.
2. If you honestly think that both of you are interested in doing what needs to be done to save the marriage, the next step is to determine what to do.
In most cases, the longer a relationship goes on, the more resentments and bitterness have built up. Chipping away at all this "residue" will take time. But first you need to identify it.
That can be difficult. You see, no normal person goes ballistic because their husband left the seat up or because their wife burned the casserole ( a little annoyed and frustrated sure, but not enraged).
The over the top anger usually stems from something else entirely. It has been festering right under the surface and the smallest thing can set it off.
Identifying this festering anger and the real causes behind it will allow both of you to face the old hurts and anger and move on past them.
3. None of what I have talked about is all that hard, however it can still be helpful to find someone to guide the two of you through.
These emotional issues are like landmines, if you don't watch where you step they can blow up in your face. A good counselor can act as a bit of a navigator and a bit of a referee. That may make it possible for the two of you to actually accomplish something worthwhile.
4. And last, but not least, learn how to communicate in an effective non - toxic way. Too many times the old hurts and angers will show up in your words too.
When that happens, the simplest comment can sound like condemnation and it can set your partner off.
No one likes to feel like they are being blamed or judged and if the two of you don't know how to communicate and move past the debris of the past, you will continually set each other off and nothing will get accomplished.
These tips will help you gain perspective and start making positive changes which will make it easier for you to fix your marriage. It can be done, get the help you need and keep a positive attitude and the two of you may just work it out.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Marriage Quote
Marriage is a huge step in ones life, committing yourself fully to the person you truly love and vowing to spend the rest of your life together. It is a momentous occasion and something that you will remember for years to come.
Because it will be remembered for years to come, you should handle it with care. You and your spouse may not have the best memory, you may forget your own birthday, or what you had for breakfast, but the one thing that will be ingrained in your memory until the end of your days will be the day you got married.
You will remember every move you made, every thought you had, every word you said. And so will your spouse. This is why it is important to be careful what you say. Spouting off some witty and amusing marriage quote may seem like a good idea at the time, but years down the road you or your spouse may remember that and you will just be left going "oh god why did I say that."
The best advice you can get for your wedding day is to simply keep quiet. Odds are you will be incredibly nervous and generally when people get nervous they do or say things they shouldn't. So to make sure you do not make any memories you will regret, you should just keep quiet.
While it may seem anti-romantic to just go through the motions and say what you are expected to say, it ultimately is for the best. Marriage quote can be fun and you may think they will help alleviate the tension but you do not want to try and crack some joke only to have everyone stare at you with blank faces.
Your best man or bridesmaids may think you should say something, to pop off a witty quote here and there. And maybe you can, if that is your kind of relationship. But to be on the safe side you should just make it very clear that this is a romantic and life changing event.
While it seems a little corny, you should only say things that are sappy and romantic. Comment about how you never expected it to be this intense and amazing. Years from now you want your spouse remembering how excited and happy you were at your wedding, not some stupid marriage quote you said.
All though the reception and up until midnight make sure to keep your brain on a short leash. It is easy to get wrapped up in the excitement and the events unfolding around you. But if you can keep a handle on yourself and remain calm, you can make sure you do not do or say anything foolish or stupid.
After everything is said and done and you and your spouse are happily married, you can say whatever you want. However as long as it is the day of your wedding you need to put up a good show, so that you do not have any regrets down the line.
Because it will be remembered for years to come, you should handle it with care. You and your spouse may not have the best memory, you may forget your own birthday, or what you had for breakfast, but the one thing that will be ingrained in your memory until the end of your days will be the day you got married.
You will remember every move you made, every thought you had, every word you said. And so will your spouse. This is why it is important to be careful what you say. Spouting off some witty and amusing marriage quote may seem like a good idea at the time, but years down the road you or your spouse may remember that and you will just be left going "oh god why did I say that."
The best advice you can get for your wedding day is to simply keep quiet. Odds are you will be incredibly nervous and generally when people get nervous they do or say things they shouldn't. So to make sure you do not make any memories you will regret, you should just keep quiet.
While it may seem anti-romantic to just go through the motions and say what you are expected to say, it ultimately is for the best. Marriage quote can be fun and you may think they will help alleviate the tension but you do not want to try and crack some joke only to have everyone stare at you with blank faces.
Your best man or bridesmaids may think you should say something, to pop off a witty quote here and there. And maybe you can, if that is your kind of relationship. But to be on the safe side you should just make it very clear that this is a romantic and life changing event.
While it seems a little corny, you should only say things that are sappy and romantic. Comment about how you never expected it to be this intense and amazing. Years from now you want your spouse remembering how excited and happy you were at your wedding, not some stupid marriage quote you said.
All though the reception and up until midnight make sure to keep your brain on a short leash. It is easy to get wrapped up in the excitement and the events unfolding around you. But if you can keep a handle on yourself and remain calm, you can make sure you do not do or say anything foolish or stupid.
After everything is said and done and you and your spouse are happily married, you can say whatever you want. However as long as it is the day of your wedding you need to put up a good show, so that you do not have any regrets down the line.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Marriage Seminars
One of the leading reasons for marriage is because you want to spend more time with your loved one. But as time wears on and the honeymoon wraps up, you can very quickly find yourself not having the free time you desire.
There are a lot of reasons for why you and your spouse may be unable to spend the time together that you would like. The two most common reasons being work related or children. These distractions can be impossible to ignore and so you are left devoting all your time to everything but the person you want to devote it to.
This is where marriage seminars come into play. A lot of people may think that these seminars are for people with bad marriages, and that their marriage is not bad. Well this is not strictly the case. These seminars are for a wide variety of couples, including those who are unable to spend time together.
These weekend seminars provide the excuse to get away for a day or two and spend time together. It allows you to reconnect with one another and re-ignite the passion that brought you together in the first place. Think of it like a little mini vacation for the sole purpose of resting your relationship and allowing it to grow stronger.
Marriage seminars are generally hosted by churches who like to stress spirituality and religion. However there are also seminars hosted by various psychological groups who use mediation tools to help you. The only real difference between the two are the tools employed, both strive for the same goal that is strengthening your marriage.
When you decide to go to a seminar and manage to free up the time to do so, it can allow all the distractions of your daily life to just float away. No more bosses or kids or deadlines, just you and your spouse.
Another great benefit of going to these seminars is the ability to meet up with other couples. Once we get married and have kids, we generally lose touch with our friends as we get so engrossed with our lives and day to day routines.
Just because you find yourself all grown up and have a family does not mean you can not still have friends. These marriage seminars allow you to connect with other people in the same situation as you, or maybe to even re-connect with old friends.
The ability to talk with other couples and parents, hear their stories and their triumphs, it can work as great motivation for you for when you return to the daily grind. We all know that there are others out there going through what we go through, but when you actually meet face to face and share personal experiences, it can hold new meaning.
Regardless of why you want to go to these seminars, and regardless of what tools they employ, the end result is always the same. The desire to keep your marriage going strong and to keep the love between you and your spouse are the end result that all routes are leading to.
There are a lot of reasons for why you and your spouse may be unable to spend the time together that you would like. The two most common reasons being work related or children. These distractions can be impossible to ignore and so you are left devoting all your time to everything but the person you want to devote it to.
This is where marriage seminars come into play. A lot of people may think that these seminars are for people with bad marriages, and that their marriage is not bad. Well this is not strictly the case. These seminars are for a wide variety of couples, including those who are unable to spend time together.
These weekend seminars provide the excuse to get away for a day or two and spend time together. It allows you to reconnect with one another and re-ignite the passion that brought you together in the first place. Think of it like a little mini vacation for the sole purpose of resting your relationship and allowing it to grow stronger.
Marriage seminars are generally hosted by churches who like to stress spirituality and religion. However there are also seminars hosted by various psychological groups who use mediation tools to help you. The only real difference between the two are the tools employed, both strive for the same goal that is strengthening your marriage.
When you decide to go to a seminar and manage to free up the time to do so, it can allow all the distractions of your daily life to just float away. No more bosses or kids or deadlines, just you and your spouse.
Another great benefit of going to these seminars is the ability to meet up with other couples. Once we get married and have kids, we generally lose touch with our friends as we get so engrossed with our lives and day to day routines.
Just because you find yourself all grown up and have a family does not mean you can not still have friends. These marriage seminars allow you to connect with other people in the same situation as you, or maybe to even re-connect with old friends.
The ability to talk with other couples and parents, hear their stories and their triumphs, it can work as great motivation for you for when you return to the daily grind. We all know that there are others out there going through what we go through, but when you actually meet face to face and share personal experiences, it can hold new meaning.
Regardless of why you want to go to these seminars, and regardless of what tools they employ, the end result is always the same. The desire to keep your marriage going strong and to keep the love between you and your spouse are the end result that all routes are leading to.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Marriage In Trouble
A lot of people rush into marriage at a young age when they feel they are madly in love. The problem with this is that as they age and mature, their personality may change and they might end up not being as in love as they thought. Or worse, the person they fell in love with may not turn out to be the person they expected.
The fact that so many people rush into marriage is also why so many people rush into divorce. It is said that the divorce rate in america is upwards of 50-60%. Such a high divorce rate is simply because people do not take their marriage seriously from the start.
Divorce is not always the option, as a lot of marriages can be saved if both parties are willing to put in the effort. But how do you determine whether or not your marriage in trouble? There are several signs that your marriage may not be as good as it should be.
1. Detached. If either you or your spouse seem emotionally detached from the relationship. If they simply do not seem to care about what goes on in the marriage and show no intention to help fix it or keep it running. A marriage should be between two people who care about one another and want to work with each other. If one party simply does not care anymore, that is a bad thing.
2. More bad then good. Every marriage has it's problems and there are always bad days. The problem comes in when there are more bad days then good days. A happy marriage should have their bad days few and far between. If you are finding these bad days sprouting up all over the place, that is a sign your marriage in trouble.
3. Every conversation ends in a fight. You are two different people with different tastes, arguments and fights are to be expected. Even the best of friends will have their fights. But if you find yourselves fighting all the time over the pettiest reasons, this is because you are unhappy with your current situation.
4. Not spending intimate time together. Another sign for determining whether your marriage in trouble or not is how much time you spend together. You should enjoy spending time together and if you find it to be a chore to do so, then your marriage is in trouble. Hitting a slump is one thing, sometimes we simply do not feel like being around others. But if it persists and you consistently avoid intimate time together, this is a warning sign.
5. Abusive household. If you or your spouse is abusive then this is a big glaring red sign that your marriage is in trouble. Abuse does not have to be physical, which is why a lot of couples stay together despite there being abuse. Abuse can take shape in a variety of forms, one being physical. However verbal abuse can be just as hurtful as physical abuse and should not be tolerated.
The fact that so many people rush into marriage is also why so many people rush into divorce. It is said that the divorce rate in america is upwards of 50-60%. Such a high divorce rate is simply because people do not take their marriage seriously from the start.
Divorce is not always the option, as a lot of marriages can be saved if both parties are willing to put in the effort. But how do you determine whether or not your marriage in trouble? There are several signs that your marriage may not be as good as it should be.
1. Detached. If either you or your spouse seem emotionally detached from the relationship. If they simply do not seem to care about what goes on in the marriage and show no intention to help fix it or keep it running. A marriage should be between two people who care about one another and want to work with each other. If one party simply does not care anymore, that is a bad thing.
2. More bad then good. Every marriage has it's problems and there are always bad days. The problem comes in when there are more bad days then good days. A happy marriage should have their bad days few and far between. If you are finding these bad days sprouting up all over the place, that is a sign your marriage in trouble.
3. Every conversation ends in a fight. You are two different people with different tastes, arguments and fights are to be expected. Even the best of friends will have their fights. But if you find yourselves fighting all the time over the pettiest reasons, this is because you are unhappy with your current situation.
4. Not spending intimate time together. Another sign for determining whether your marriage in trouble or not is how much time you spend together. You should enjoy spending time together and if you find it to be a chore to do so, then your marriage is in trouble. Hitting a slump is one thing, sometimes we simply do not feel like being around others. But if it persists and you consistently avoid intimate time together, this is a warning sign.
5. Abusive household. If you or your spouse is abusive then this is a big glaring red sign that your marriage is in trouble. Abuse does not have to be physical, which is why a lot of couples stay together despite there being abuse. Abuse can take shape in a variety of forms, one being physical. However verbal abuse can be just as hurtful as physical abuse and should not be tolerated.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Marriage Games
Any relationship can take a lot of work to make it successful. Relationships are not something you can just let sit idle and expect them to work right. If you do not put in the time and effort, it will fall through. This can be made even more difficult when dealing with a long distance marriage.
Long distance marriages can require even more work than normal relationships as you and your spouse are separate from one another. These types of relationships can put a lot of strain on your marriage which can make them difficult to deal with. This is why it is important to find ways to make them work, from simple communication to playing marriage games to keep yourselves happy.
However even with that you may be left wondering what exactly you can do to make it work. You still love each other despite the distance, so you do not want to let that come between you. To this end there are several tips you can follow that can help you overcome this distance hurdle.
1. Establish a clear line of communication. Communication is the single most important part of any relationship, including marriage. So finding a means to communicate over the long distance is imperative. It can be in any number of ways, from simple phone calls, to letters, to emails, to webcams, to VOIP. Using a variety of these methods can also be employed to get the most out of your talks.
2. Try to meet up. Nothing beats meeting face to face so you should try to meet up whenever possible. Some things simply can not be done adequately over the phone or via letters, marriage games and other activities are best done in person so you can enjoy each others company. Even if it is only for a short time, meeting up every now and then can make all the difference.
3. Create a hobby. Having a hobby the two of you can share is a great way to bring you together despite the distance as well as give you something to do or talk about. Typically it is best to find something you can do over the internet, as it is often readily available and offers a wide variety of activities. But do not toss out conventional hobbies as they are still an option as well.
4. Surprise. Routines can get dull no matter what, especially in a long distance marriage. So finding ways to surprise your spouse can be a great way to add a little spice to your love life. It can be something like a gift or unexpected letter. If you are feeling especially grand you can even go so far as taking a surprise trip to meet up with them.
5. Share moments. We all experience moments in life that we would like to share with our loved ones. Just because they are not there with you does not mean you can not share them. You can share videos and pictures of special moments as marriage games and make it a fun activity that can connect the two of you.
Long distance marriages can require even more work than normal relationships as you and your spouse are separate from one another. These types of relationships can put a lot of strain on your marriage which can make them difficult to deal with. This is why it is important to find ways to make them work, from simple communication to playing marriage games to keep yourselves happy.
However even with that you may be left wondering what exactly you can do to make it work. You still love each other despite the distance, so you do not want to let that come between you. To this end there are several tips you can follow that can help you overcome this distance hurdle.
1. Establish a clear line of communication. Communication is the single most important part of any relationship, including marriage. So finding a means to communicate over the long distance is imperative. It can be in any number of ways, from simple phone calls, to letters, to emails, to webcams, to VOIP. Using a variety of these methods can also be employed to get the most out of your talks.
2. Try to meet up. Nothing beats meeting face to face so you should try to meet up whenever possible. Some things simply can not be done adequately over the phone or via letters, marriage games and other activities are best done in person so you can enjoy each others company. Even if it is only for a short time, meeting up every now and then can make all the difference.
3. Create a hobby. Having a hobby the two of you can share is a great way to bring you together despite the distance as well as give you something to do or talk about. Typically it is best to find something you can do over the internet, as it is often readily available and offers a wide variety of activities. But do not toss out conventional hobbies as they are still an option as well.
4. Surprise. Routines can get dull no matter what, especially in a long distance marriage. So finding ways to surprise your spouse can be a great way to add a little spice to your love life. It can be something like a gift or unexpected letter. If you are feeling especially grand you can even go so far as taking a surprise trip to meet up with them.
5. Share moments. We all experience moments in life that we would like to share with our loved ones. Just because they are not there with you does not mean you can not share them. You can share videos and pictures of special moments as marriage games and make it a fun activity that can connect the two of you.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Marriage Forum
Keeping your marriage alive and well can be really difficult. Statistics show that upwards of 50-60% of marriages end in divorce. The reason for this is simply because people rush into marriage. They marry young, when they are still learning and growing, and either the two simply grow apart or they find out that person is not who they thought they were.
However just because your marriage is suffering bad times does not mean you should jump ship. If you both still love each other, there are ways you can work to save your marriage. A lot of marriage forum and other media can give you tips to help you with your endeavor. This article as well has several tips you can follow.
1. Communication. This is an important aspect of any relationship that seems to get forgotten over time. We humans did not evolve with the ability to read minds. So the only way we have of finding out what is wrong is by being told.
Instead of bottling up your emotions and keeping all your problems to yourself, share them with your spouse and try to work through them. If you keep them to yourself you will end up unleashing them during a heated argument and end up blindsiding your spouse, leaving them confused and hurt.
2. Compromise. Compromising is something we were taught to do since we were kids. Different people have different views and will not always agree. When this happens try to come up with a solution that can make both parties happy. Some marriage forum out there have ideas should you be at a loss for what to do.
3. Remain calm and take it slow. Fights are a natural part of any relationship. However when they do sprout up try to keep your cool as best you can. If you lose your head you might end up saying or doing something you will regret. As well, try to take any fixes slowly. If you try to rush you can end up making things worse for your marriage.
4. Forgive and forget. We humans have a nasty habit of clinging to past grievances and holding grudges. Instead of allowing yourself to stoop to this level, try to forgive your spouse and let past mistakes go. Do not forget them as you need to fix them, however forget the anger and frustration they caused.
5. Set goals. People often times are very goal oriented, give them a set task to do and they will set out to do it. Many marriage forum goers will agree that this is a good way to help fix your marriage. Give yourself and spouse some goals to strive for in fixing up your marriage.
6. Counseling. If all else fails and nothing you try seems to work, then try going to a marriage counselor. Marriage counselors have a lot of stigma about them as it seems that only those with doomed marriages will go to them. However they save countless marriages every year and know what they are doing, and let's face it, what do you have to lose at this point?
However just because your marriage is suffering bad times does not mean you should jump ship. If you both still love each other, there are ways you can work to save your marriage. A lot of marriage forum and other media can give you tips to help you with your endeavor. This article as well has several tips you can follow.
1. Communication. This is an important aspect of any relationship that seems to get forgotten over time. We humans did not evolve with the ability to read minds. So the only way we have of finding out what is wrong is by being told.
Instead of bottling up your emotions and keeping all your problems to yourself, share them with your spouse and try to work through them. If you keep them to yourself you will end up unleashing them during a heated argument and end up blindsiding your spouse, leaving them confused and hurt.
2. Compromise. Compromising is something we were taught to do since we were kids. Different people have different views and will not always agree. When this happens try to come up with a solution that can make both parties happy. Some marriage forum out there have ideas should you be at a loss for what to do.
3. Remain calm and take it slow. Fights are a natural part of any relationship. However when they do sprout up try to keep your cool as best you can. If you lose your head you might end up saying or doing something you will regret. As well, try to take any fixes slowly. If you try to rush you can end up making things worse for your marriage.
4. Forgive and forget. We humans have a nasty habit of clinging to past grievances and holding grudges. Instead of allowing yourself to stoop to this level, try to forgive your spouse and let past mistakes go. Do not forget them as you need to fix them, however forget the anger and frustration they caused.
5. Set goals. People often times are very goal oriented, give them a set task to do and they will set out to do it. Many marriage forum goers will agree that this is a good way to help fix your marriage. Give yourself and spouse some goals to strive for in fixing up your marriage.
6. Counseling. If all else fails and nothing you try seems to work, then try going to a marriage counselor. Marriage counselors have a lot of stigma about them as it seems that only those with doomed marriages will go to them. However they save countless marriages every year and know what they are doing, and let's face it, what do you have to lose at this point?
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Marriage Quiz
Marriage is an important commitment that can stay with you for a very long time. So it stands to reason that you do not want to be stuck in a bad marriage. But how exactly do you determine if your marriage is truly bad? How do you figure out whether or not you are simply in a slump, or if it is just down right bad?
There are a multitude of marriage quiz out there to help you figure out aspects of your marriage, including whether or not it is a bad one. There are some signs you can look for when trying to figure this question out. However above all of those is the fact that you are even looking at this article.
Simply reading this article and articles like it can be a sign that your marriage is bad. Typically, if it is merely a slump you would not immediately consider reading up on signs of a bad marriage, so that is why reading this can be a sign. There are more signs to look for as well.
1. Emotionally detached. If either yourself or your spouse just seem detached from your relationship. As time goes on and we grow up, we may find our attraction waning and this can lead to a bad marriage. If one of the parties simply stopped caring along the way, it can be hurtful and detrimental to the other party who is still trying and who still cares.
2. More bad than good. Another sign to look for on a marriage quiz is just how much bad and good there is. If you are in a slump that is one thing, all marriages have their bad days. But if every day seems like a bad day then there is a problem. The good should far outweigh the bad and if this is not the case, then that is a sign of a bad marriage.
3. No desire to talk. If you or your spouse simply do not feel like talking, this is a warning sign. This goes along with being detached, and is a sign of that as well. When you stop talking and find it to be more of a chore to talk this will put strain on your marriage.
4. Every conversation ends in an argument. Fights are to be expected, you are individuals who may disagree on things. But if these fights seem to pop up at every turn this is a problem. As well if the fights turn out to be especially vicious and cruel. As spouses and partners you should be able to come to agreements and keep your cool most of the time.
5. Not spending time together. The last warning sign in the marriage quiz is not spending time together. Being busy is one thing, but when it gets to the point where one, or both of you simply do not enjoy spending time together then that is a sign of a bad marriage and you should take measures to fix it as you see fit.
There are a multitude of marriage quiz out there to help you figure out aspects of your marriage, including whether or not it is a bad one. There are some signs you can look for when trying to figure this question out. However above all of those is the fact that you are even looking at this article.
Simply reading this article and articles like it can be a sign that your marriage is bad. Typically, if it is merely a slump you would not immediately consider reading up on signs of a bad marriage, so that is why reading this can be a sign. There are more signs to look for as well.
1. Emotionally detached. If either yourself or your spouse just seem detached from your relationship. As time goes on and we grow up, we may find our attraction waning and this can lead to a bad marriage. If one of the parties simply stopped caring along the way, it can be hurtful and detrimental to the other party who is still trying and who still cares.
2. More bad than good. Another sign to look for on a marriage quiz is just how much bad and good there is. If you are in a slump that is one thing, all marriages have their bad days. But if every day seems like a bad day then there is a problem. The good should far outweigh the bad and if this is not the case, then that is a sign of a bad marriage.
3. No desire to talk. If you or your spouse simply do not feel like talking, this is a warning sign. This goes along with being detached, and is a sign of that as well. When you stop talking and find it to be more of a chore to talk this will put strain on your marriage.
4. Every conversation ends in an argument. Fights are to be expected, you are individuals who may disagree on things. But if these fights seem to pop up at every turn this is a problem. As well if the fights turn out to be especially vicious and cruel. As spouses and partners you should be able to come to agreements and keep your cool most of the time.
5. Not spending time together. The last warning sign in the marriage quiz is not spending time together. Being busy is one thing, but when it gets to the point where one, or both of you simply do not enjoy spending time together then that is a sign of a bad marriage and you should take measures to fix it as you see fit.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Marriage Definition
Marriage is a wonderful thing that binds together two people who love each other. However people change as time goes on, and if you marry young you may end up marrying that person for the wrong reasons. This is why so many marriages end in divorce.
People rush into it, they do not realize just who exactly they are marrying and as time wears on and that persons bad traits come to light, it is too late.
However despite this, many more marriages do not end in divorce. That does not mean those marriages are all peachy though. If you are looking for the proper marriage definition for determining whether or not your marriage is bad, there are several signs you should look for.
1. Are you detached. If either you or your spouse seem detached from the relationship, this is a sign of a bad marriage. Not all marriages end in some bloody divorce because things went horribly wrong. Sometimes you just find yourselves drifting apart once you realize they were not the person you thought they were.
If you realize that this is happening in your marriage you might want to take steps to fix it. Just because one of you is feeling detached does not mean you should run and file a divorce, sometimes stress and other problems arise, if it can be fixed then it should be fixed.
2. More good than bad. When looking for a marriage definition and trying to determine just where your marriage stands, you should look at the good and bad. All couples have their problems and their fights, you are not clones and you have different personalities. But if you have more bad days than good days, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship. The good should always outweigh the bad, if it is the other way around then something is wrong.
3. If you are unable to hold a conversation. Your spouse should be the first person you should be able to talk to. You should be able to share anything with them, if you find yourself unable to do this that is a warning sign.
4. Every conversation ends in an argument. As I mentioned above, every relationship has its problems. This is only natural, you will disagree and argue and fight. But if you are at the point where you are unable to even open your mouth without it devolving into a heated argument then you may want to take another look at your marriage.
5. Unwillingness to spend time together. This is a big warning sign when looking for your marriage definition. If you and your spouse rarely spend intimate time together, and simply can not seem to make time for one another this can be a big problem. In of itself it is a large problem that can threaten the stability of your relationship.
But what makes it even worse is that it can lead into other problems as well. Being unable to spend time together can lead to arguments and fights and put a lot of stress on your marriage. Whether it is because you simply lost interest in your spouse or other reasons, if you desire to keep your marriage running smoothly you should always try to put your spouse first and spend time with them.
People rush into it, they do not realize just who exactly they are marrying and as time wears on and that persons bad traits come to light, it is too late.
However despite this, many more marriages do not end in divorce. That does not mean those marriages are all peachy though. If you are looking for the proper marriage definition for determining whether or not your marriage is bad, there are several signs you should look for.
1. Are you detached. If either you or your spouse seem detached from the relationship, this is a sign of a bad marriage. Not all marriages end in some bloody divorce because things went horribly wrong. Sometimes you just find yourselves drifting apart once you realize they were not the person you thought they were.
If you realize that this is happening in your marriage you might want to take steps to fix it. Just because one of you is feeling detached does not mean you should run and file a divorce, sometimes stress and other problems arise, if it can be fixed then it should be fixed.
2. More good than bad. When looking for a marriage definition and trying to determine just where your marriage stands, you should look at the good and bad. All couples have their problems and their fights, you are not clones and you have different personalities. But if you have more bad days than good days, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship. The good should always outweigh the bad, if it is the other way around then something is wrong.
3. If you are unable to hold a conversation. Your spouse should be the first person you should be able to talk to. You should be able to share anything with them, if you find yourself unable to do this that is a warning sign.
4. Every conversation ends in an argument. As I mentioned above, every relationship has its problems. This is only natural, you will disagree and argue and fight. But if you are at the point where you are unable to even open your mouth without it devolving into a heated argument then you may want to take another look at your marriage.
5. Unwillingness to spend time together. This is a big warning sign when looking for your marriage definition. If you and your spouse rarely spend intimate time together, and simply can not seem to make time for one another this can be a big problem. In of itself it is a large problem that can threaten the stability of your relationship.
But what makes it even worse is that it can lead into other problems as well. Being unable to spend time together can lead to arguments and fights and put a lot of stress on your marriage. Whether it is because you simply lost interest in your spouse or other reasons, if you desire to keep your marriage running smoothly you should always try to put your spouse first and spend time with them.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Marriage Retreats
Love is a powerful emotion and can bring about a lot of happiness and good times. When you finally find that special someone that makes your heart race whenever you think about them, that makes you feel so good when you are around them, it is very powerful.
So it is no surprise why people want to spend their lives with the ones they love. But spending your life with your significant other is not all roses and sunshine. Marriage can be full of ups and downs, with stress building up and causing friction between you. This is why marriage retreats are so popular.
Vacations are always important, they help us unwind and work off the stress that has accumulated. This holds true for marriages as well. Sometimes you just need to get away and relax. Without the stress your daily lives bearing down on you, so that you can simply enjoy yourself and the time you have with the one you love.
But how do you go about choosing the kind of marriage retreats you want? With so many of these retreats out there it can be difficult deciding where exactly you want to go. To help with this there are several tips you can follow.
1. These retreats are not necessarily specifically designed for couples. A retreat does not have to be some specialized institution tucked away in the tropics. It can be anything that allows you to get away from the stress of your lives. It can be a cruise in the bahamas or up towards alaska. Or it could be going on a nice long road trip across the country.
2. You should try to choose something you can both enjoy. This seems like common sense but it can often be a point of contention as you both feel like you want to do separate things. You may want to go up to a ski resort whereas your spouse may want to lay out on some tropical beach. Choosing a location that makes you both important is imperative.
3. You do not always have to go together, either. When you think of marriage retreats you often think of both of you relaxing together. But sometimes the thing you need to get away from the most is your spouse. You can love someone all you want, but you can have too much of a good thing. Anyone with siblings will understand this whole heartedly.
So taking separate vacations and just unwinding solo can be just what the doctor ordered. It may be fun, it may be lonely. But regardless it will give you the alone time you wanted and will make you refreshed and excited to get back with your spouse. If you are feeling a bit lonely near the end of your trip and are excited about getting back and seeing your loved one, then you know your retreat did everything it was suppose to.
Whether you make it a big week long vacation or simply spending the weekend in a nearby town. Whether you go together or separate, getting away from the hassles of life and maybe even each other is an important part of keeping your marriage running smoothly. Without shedding off all the stress and negative emotions, it will just lead the marriage problems and that is never a good thing.
So it is no surprise why people want to spend their lives with the ones they love. But spending your life with your significant other is not all roses and sunshine. Marriage can be full of ups and downs, with stress building up and causing friction between you. This is why marriage retreats are so popular.
Vacations are always important, they help us unwind and work off the stress that has accumulated. This holds true for marriages as well. Sometimes you just need to get away and relax. Without the stress your daily lives bearing down on you, so that you can simply enjoy yourself and the time you have with the one you love.
But how do you go about choosing the kind of marriage retreats you want? With so many of these retreats out there it can be difficult deciding where exactly you want to go. To help with this there are several tips you can follow.
1. These retreats are not necessarily specifically designed for couples. A retreat does not have to be some specialized institution tucked away in the tropics. It can be anything that allows you to get away from the stress of your lives. It can be a cruise in the bahamas or up towards alaska. Or it could be going on a nice long road trip across the country.
2. You should try to choose something you can both enjoy. This seems like common sense but it can often be a point of contention as you both feel like you want to do separate things. You may want to go up to a ski resort whereas your spouse may want to lay out on some tropical beach. Choosing a location that makes you both important is imperative.
3. You do not always have to go together, either. When you think of marriage retreats you often think of both of you relaxing together. But sometimes the thing you need to get away from the most is your spouse. You can love someone all you want, but you can have too much of a good thing. Anyone with siblings will understand this whole heartedly.
So taking separate vacations and just unwinding solo can be just what the doctor ordered. It may be fun, it may be lonely. But regardless it will give you the alone time you wanted and will make you refreshed and excited to get back with your spouse. If you are feeling a bit lonely near the end of your trip and are excited about getting back and seeing your loved one, then you know your retreat did everything it was suppose to.
Whether you make it a big week long vacation or simply spending the weekend in a nearby town. Whether you go together or separate, getting away from the hassles of life and maybe even each other is an important part of keeping your marriage running smoothly. Without shedding off all the stress and negative emotions, it will just lead the marriage problems and that is never a good thing.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Marriage Song
Marriages are special contracts between two people who love each other, we all know this. But there are a lot of little things that sometimes get overlooked. Small details that mean a lot to us once we get married. These can take the form in a variety of ways from little habits we formed living together or something we both enjoy such as a marriage song.
Having these little things can bring a smile to your face when you are out doing something. How many stories have you heard about a couple being out somewhere and a certain song plays and they go "that's our song!" This happens all the time, both in the movies and in real life.
These special little momentos may be insignificant to other people but to you and your spouse they can mean the world. Having a special song to remind you of when you first met or when you first got married can be something you will remember for the rest of your lives.
These songs are not always chosen as often they take the form of whatever song was playing during that moment. However a lot of times no music was playing, that does not mean you should miss out on the fun though. Even if no song was playing you can still choose your marriage song.
The criteria for choosing such a song is entirely up to you and your spouse. But it should usually be a song you both like and hold a special meaning to the two of you. This song is a shared memory between the two of you and every time you hear it, it should remind you of the good times and how much you love one another.
So while the song itself is not that important, choosing it is. If you choose a song that does not hold much meaning to one, or both of you than it is not much of a marital song and will not hold the weight it should.
Throughout our lives most of us listen to a lot of music. We may have favorite songs, or songs that played during specific events. These are the types of songs that should be candidates for your marriage song. You can make a sort of list of all the songs that hold special meaning to you and then cross reference them to see if you share a song.
This may seem like a silly activity but that is the point. It is a fun and silly activity the two of you can share together, and it will be one more memory that comes to mind every time that song starts playing.
If by chance there is no song you both share then what the hey, wing it and just choose a song the two of you like. It's your song after all, who cares why you picked it. As long as it is the two of you making the choice together, that is ultimately all that matters. The song is yours and represents the happiness you enjoy together, so why you choose it is entirely up to you.
Having these little things can bring a smile to your face when you are out doing something. How many stories have you heard about a couple being out somewhere and a certain song plays and they go "that's our song!" This happens all the time, both in the movies and in real life.
These special little momentos may be insignificant to other people but to you and your spouse they can mean the world. Having a special song to remind you of when you first met or when you first got married can be something you will remember for the rest of your lives.
These songs are not always chosen as often they take the form of whatever song was playing during that moment. However a lot of times no music was playing, that does not mean you should miss out on the fun though. Even if no song was playing you can still choose your marriage song.
The criteria for choosing such a song is entirely up to you and your spouse. But it should usually be a song you both like and hold a special meaning to the two of you. This song is a shared memory between the two of you and every time you hear it, it should remind you of the good times and how much you love one another.
So while the song itself is not that important, choosing it is. If you choose a song that does not hold much meaning to one, or both of you than it is not much of a marital song and will not hold the weight it should.
Throughout our lives most of us listen to a lot of music. We may have favorite songs, or songs that played during specific events. These are the types of songs that should be candidates for your marriage song. You can make a sort of list of all the songs that hold special meaning to you and then cross reference them to see if you share a song.
This may seem like a silly activity but that is the point. It is a fun and silly activity the two of you can share together, and it will be one more memory that comes to mind every time that song starts playing.
If by chance there is no song you both share then what the hey, wing it and just choose a song the two of you like. It's your song after all, who cares why you picked it. As long as it is the two of you making the choice together, that is ultimately all that matters. The song is yours and represents the happiness you enjoy together, so why you choose it is entirely up to you.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Marriage Restoration
A lot of marriages suffer problems for a variety of reasons. However the most common problems being either infidelity or the fact that the two are just incompatible. It is said that around half of all marriages end in divorce. While divorce is certainly an option, it should never be one taken lightly. There are other options available.
Should you be one of those people who are willing to try marriage restoration and save their marriage, there are a lot of methods out there you can try. While I can not list all of them, there are several good tips that can help you get on the right track.
1. Communication. This is the single most important part of any and all relationships, but also a part that is often over looked. Your spouse can not read your mind, they do not know how you are feeling unless you tell them. The problem is a lot of spouses out there keep their emotions bottled up and do not talk about their problems.
These problems build up until eventually they erupt during a heated argument, leaving the other party left confused and hurt by this sudden attack. Instead of doing this, talk to your spouse about your problems and try to work them out before they build into a powder keg.
2. Compromise. A big part of marriage restoration is the ability to compromise. We are all individuals and individuals have their own personal likes and dislikes. We all desire different things, and these differences can cause arguments and fights. Instead of letting these fights spiral out of control, cool your head and try to come to a compromise that can make both parties happy.
3. Stay calm and go slow. The biggest problem people face during a fight is that they lose their cool, they say or do things they will come to regret. Keeping a level head is important during a fight so that you can try to control the situation and minimize the damage dealt. As well, you have to remember to take things slow when trying to fix up your marriage, if you rush things too much they may end up doing more harm than good.
4. Forgive and forget. Everybody fights, this is just how it is. We argue about something, get mad, and it devolves into an outright fight. What matters is what you do after that fight, whether you you hold a grudge over it and stay mad, or if you forgive your spouse and move on with your life. It is always better to simply forgive and forget, and let bygones be bygones. Holding onto those negative feelings does not do anybody any good.
5. Marriage counseling. If all else fails, and every attempt at marriage restoration does not work, then you might want to try marriage counseling. This is the final solution if all your attempts fail, but this often is the turning point in a marriage. Marriage counselors are trained professionals who know how to help you work through your problems and salvage your marriage.
Should you be one of those people who are willing to try marriage restoration and save their marriage, there are a lot of methods out there you can try. While I can not list all of them, there are several good tips that can help you get on the right track.
1. Communication. This is the single most important part of any and all relationships, but also a part that is often over looked. Your spouse can not read your mind, they do not know how you are feeling unless you tell them. The problem is a lot of spouses out there keep their emotions bottled up and do not talk about their problems.
These problems build up until eventually they erupt during a heated argument, leaving the other party left confused and hurt by this sudden attack. Instead of doing this, talk to your spouse about your problems and try to work them out before they build into a powder keg.
2. Compromise. A big part of marriage restoration is the ability to compromise. We are all individuals and individuals have their own personal likes and dislikes. We all desire different things, and these differences can cause arguments and fights. Instead of letting these fights spiral out of control, cool your head and try to come to a compromise that can make both parties happy.
3. Stay calm and go slow. The biggest problem people face during a fight is that they lose their cool, they say or do things they will come to regret. Keeping a level head is important during a fight so that you can try to control the situation and minimize the damage dealt. As well, you have to remember to take things slow when trying to fix up your marriage, if you rush things too much they may end up doing more harm than good.
4. Forgive and forget. Everybody fights, this is just how it is. We argue about something, get mad, and it devolves into an outright fight. What matters is what you do after that fight, whether you you hold a grudge over it and stay mad, or if you forgive your spouse and move on with your life. It is always better to simply forgive and forget, and let bygones be bygones. Holding onto those negative feelings does not do anybody any good.
5. Marriage counseling. If all else fails, and every attempt at marriage restoration does not work, then you might want to try marriage counseling. This is the final solution if all your attempts fail, but this often is the turning point in a marriage. Marriage counselors are trained professionals who know how to help you work through your problems and salvage your marriage.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Marriage Encounters
Marriage is a wonderful thing that binds two people who love each other together. But as wonderful as it is, it also takes a lot of work. Both parties involved have to put in a lot of time and effort to make a marriage success, and it is very much a give and take relationship.
But what happens when those two people are separated by a vast distance? What happens when they are unable to be together for whatever reason? This is a brand new and unique challenge presented to the couple. Long distance marriages can be difficult since without the usual marriage encounters to help build up their relationship, it is far easier to fall through.
This is why it is important to take the proper means to ensure the safety and success of your marriage. To help you with this are various tips about making your long distance relationship work.
1. Establish clear communication. Proper communication is the single most important part of any relationship. This is all the more true when that relationship is over a long distance. Having the ability to keep regular contact with one another is important to keep you from drifting apart and straying from your marriage. Whether it is through phone calls, mail, emails, voip, webcam, or even a mix of these. Simply keeping in touch is the key.
2. Plan to meet each other. Marriage encounters are important and nothing beats meeting face to face with the one you love. So trying to find the time to meet up in person can go a long way to strengthening your relationship. It does not have to be a grand affair either. Simply seeing each other for a few hours is all it takes to keep that spark alive.
3. Build a hobby. Having something you and your spouse can share is a great way to keep your marriage strong despite the distance. The best choices would be something on the internet that the two of you could do together as you talk with one another. However this does not mean you should exclude more conventional hobbies, as those still do the trick as well.
4. Surprise them. Variety is the spice of life. Even in conventional relationships routines can get dull and boring, so offering a surprise every now and then can keep things refreshed and invigorating. It does not have to be anything major, a gift every now and then, or a fancy letter that explains how much you miss them. If you are feeling really grand, you could even take a trip up to visit them in person.
5. Capture moments. When marriage encounters are not possible, capture the moments that you would like to share with them. We all experience moments in life that we want our loved ones to share. Just because you are separated by a long distance does not mean you can not share these experiences with them.
Take photos or videos that you can share with your spouse, show them that they are still a part of your life and that even if they are not with you physically, they are still with you emotionally.
But what happens when those two people are separated by a vast distance? What happens when they are unable to be together for whatever reason? This is a brand new and unique challenge presented to the couple. Long distance marriages can be difficult since without the usual marriage encounters to help build up their relationship, it is far easier to fall through.
This is why it is important to take the proper means to ensure the safety and success of your marriage. To help you with this are various tips about making your long distance relationship work.
1. Establish clear communication. Proper communication is the single most important part of any relationship. This is all the more true when that relationship is over a long distance. Having the ability to keep regular contact with one another is important to keep you from drifting apart and straying from your marriage. Whether it is through phone calls, mail, emails, voip, webcam, or even a mix of these. Simply keeping in touch is the key.
2. Plan to meet each other. Marriage encounters are important and nothing beats meeting face to face with the one you love. So trying to find the time to meet up in person can go a long way to strengthening your relationship. It does not have to be a grand affair either. Simply seeing each other for a few hours is all it takes to keep that spark alive.
3. Build a hobby. Having something you and your spouse can share is a great way to keep your marriage strong despite the distance. The best choices would be something on the internet that the two of you could do together as you talk with one another. However this does not mean you should exclude more conventional hobbies, as those still do the trick as well.
4. Surprise them. Variety is the spice of life. Even in conventional relationships routines can get dull and boring, so offering a surprise every now and then can keep things refreshed and invigorating. It does not have to be anything major, a gift every now and then, or a fancy letter that explains how much you miss them. If you are feeling really grand, you could even take a trip up to visit them in person.
5. Capture moments. When marriage encounters are not possible, capture the moments that you would like to share with them. We all experience moments in life that we want our loved ones to share. Just because you are separated by a long distance does not mean you can not share these experiences with them.
Take photos or videos that you can share with your spouse, show them that they are still a part of your life and that even if they are not with you physically, they are still with you emotionally.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Books On Marriage
Statistics show that upwards o 50-60% of marriages end in divorce. The reason for this is because people are foolish and marry too young. They fall in love with someone in high school or college and rush themselves into marriage. The problem with this is that people change and mature over the years. The person you fell in love with may not be the same person down the road.
This is where a lot of problems stem from. However as many problems as there may be, as many changes as there may be, you still may love each other. It is during situations such as these that you may be looking for books on marriage that can help you fix your marital problems.
There are a lot of ways you can fix your marriage, with literally tons of tips out there. While I can not go through all of them, I can list a few to help you get on the right track.
1. Communication. Communication is the single most important aspect during any relationship. We have no way of know what is troubling other people unless they tell us. It is also the same way for them. If you bottle up your emotions and do not talk about your problems, your spouse will have no idea there even is a problem.
These bottled up emotions will end up surfacing during an argument and end up blindsiding your spouse, leaving them hurt and confused. Instead of letting this happen, just talk with them and try to settle your problems before they spiral out of control.
2. Compromise. Plenty of books on marriage will tell you that compromises are everything. You are two individuals, different people with different tastes. So you obviously will not agree on every single situation. Instead of arguing and fighting when you disagree, cool your head and try to come to a compromise that can make both you and your spouse happy.
3. Stay calm and go slow. Fights sprout up in any relationship. Even the best of friends will fight. The key is to not let these fights spiral out of control and ruin your marriage. Keep your calm and make sure you do not say or do something you will end up regretting. As well when you try applying any fixes to your marriage make sure you take them nice and slow, as rushing them can do more harm than good.
4. Forgive and forget. Know which hills to die on and when to make a strategic withdraw. Not every fight and argument needs to be some major production that gets brought up for months or years to come. Instead of clinging to past fights, forgive your spouse for any transgressions and allow yourself and your spouse to move on.
5. Marriage counseling. If all else fails, if tips do not help and all the books on marriage do not work, then you may have to try going to a marriage counselor. These counselors are professionals, trained to help you salvage your marriage.
This is where a lot of problems stem from. However as many problems as there may be, as many changes as there may be, you still may love each other. It is during situations such as these that you may be looking for books on marriage that can help you fix your marital problems.
There are a lot of ways you can fix your marriage, with literally tons of tips out there. While I can not go through all of them, I can list a few to help you get on the right track.
1. Communication. Communication is the single most important aspect during any relationship. We have no way of know what is troubling other people unless they tell us. It is also the same way for them. If you bottle up your emotions and do not talk about your problems, your spouse will have no idea there even is a problem.
These bottled up emotions will end up surfacing during an argument and end up blindsiding your spouse, leaving them hurt and confused. Instead of letting this happen, just talk with them and try to settle your problems before they spiral out of control.
2. Compromise. Plenty of books on marriage will tell you that compromises are everything. You are two individuals, different people with different tastes. So you obviously will not agree on every single situation. Instead of arguing and fighting when you disagree, cool your head and try to come to a compromise that can make both you and your spouse happy.
3. Stay calm and go slow. Fights sprout up in any relationship. Even the best of friends will fight. The key is to not let these fights spiral out of control and ruin your marriage. Keep your calm and make sure you do not say or do something you will end up regretting. As well when you try applying any fixes to your marriage make sure you take them nice and slow, as rushing them can do more harm than good.
4. Forgive and forget. Know which hills to die on and when to make a strategic withdraw. Not every fight and argument needs to be some major production that gets brought up for months or years to come. Instead of clinging to past fights, forgive your spouse for any transgressions and allow yourself and your spouse to move on.
5. Marriage counseling. If all else fails, if tips do not help and all the books on marriage do not work, then you may have to try going to a marriage counselor. These counselors are professionals, trained to help you salvage your marriage.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Marriage Search
The divorce rate in America is high, upwards of 50-60%. With so many marriages failing it might cause you to worry for your own marriage. This worry is only compounded on if you and your spouse are having problems to begin with. Now days divorce seems too easy, a way to escape the hardships and pain of an unhappy marriage. But with it's ease also comes the fact that people may be jumping the gun.
Many marriages end despite both parties still loving and caring for each other. When looking at your marriage search for why exactly you chose your spouse to begin with. If you are truly unhappy and do not love them anymore, then divorce is a viable option. However if you still love them and want to save your marriage and make it work, there are some tips to help you out.
1. Communication. One of the main problems marriages suffer is the lack of communication. One or both parties keep their grievances to themselves and bottle up their emotions. This comes out during fights and the other party can feel blindsided, which just makes it that much worse. Being open with your spouse and telling them in a polite and calm manner when you have problems is important for a stable relationship.
2. Compromise. When trying to decide what to do with your marriage search yourself for the right answer. You are an individual person and so is your spouse, this means you will not agree on everything. When such disagreements arise try to come to a compromise so that both parties can be happy.
3. Remain calm and take your time. When problems do arise in your marriage it is important to stay calm and work through things slowly. If you allow yourself to get hot under the color you may say or do things you will come to regret later on. As well, being rash and trying to rush things can make them worse. So keeping your cool and taking it nice and easy when fixing problems is the key.
4. Forgive and forget. Do not make a mountain out of a mole hill. If you and your spouse have an argument over something minor, just let it go. One thing that happens a lot in marriage is one or both parties clinging to past mistakes or arguments and using them as ammunition in the next one. Instead of doing that, just forget about it, let it go and move on.
5. If all else fails, see a counselor. When you have tried every other option and you can not seem to keep your marriage from spiraling out of control, seeking professional help may be the only way. Marriage counselors are trained to help you marriage search and find, and fix, the problems you face.
It may seem like a bad omen if you have to go to a marriage counselor but that is preferable to divorce, and it might end up saving your marriage. However it is a last resort, so if you are able to take the steps to fix your marriage yourself you should try doing that.
Many marriages end despite both parties still loving and caring for each other. When looking at your marriage search for why exactly you chose your spouse to begin with. If you are truly unhappy and do not love them anymore, then divorce is a viable option. However if you still love them and want to save your marriage and make it work, there are some tips to help you out.
1. Communication. One of the main problems marriages suffer is the lack of communication. One or both parties keep their grievances to themselves and bottle up their emotions. This comes out during fights and the other party can feel blindsided, which just makes it that much worse. Being open with your spouse and telling them in a polite and calm manner when you have problems is important for a stable relationship.
2. Compromise. When trying to decide what to do with your marriage search yourself for the right answer. You are an individual person and so is your spouse, this means you will not agree on everything. When such disagreements arise try to come to a compromise so that both parties can be happy.
3. Remain calm and take your time. When problems do arise in your marriage it is important to stay calm and work through things slowly. If you allow yourself to get hot under the color you may say or do things you will come to regret later on. As well, being rash and trying to rush things can make them worse. So keeping your cool and taking it nice and easy when fixing problems is the key.
4. Forgive and forget. Do not make a mountain out of a mole hill. If you and your spouse have an argument over something minor, just let it go. One thing that happens a lot in marriage is one or both parties clinging to past mistakes or arguments and using them as ammunition in the next one. Instead of doing that, just forget about it, let it go and move on.
5. If all else fails, see a counselor. When you have tried every other option and you can not seem to keep your marriage from spiraling out of control, seeking professional help may be the only way. Marriage counselors are trained to help you marriage search and find, and fix, the problems you face.
It may seem like a bad omen if you have to go to a marriage counselor but that is preferable to divorce, and it might end up saving your marriage. However it is a last resort, so if you are able to take the steps to fix your marriage yourself you should try doing that.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Inlaws In Marriage-Tips To Deal With Inlaw Dynamics
Inlaws in marriage, wow, I can't think of another topic that has fueled the routine of more stand up comics than this. It can be a slippery slope to be sure. You want to like your in-laws, and have them like you. But sometimes they just don't know when to quit, do they? Finding common ground, and peace will require a few simple techniques for you and your spouse to learn.
My first marriage ended in divorce. It wasn't a shock to anyone. My husband begged me to marry him shortly after we started dating. I, of course, said no at first since it was just too soon. But as we got to know each other better and fell in love, my "no" turned to a "yes" and we were married.
The problems started long before the wedding bells started ringing. During the planning of our wedding his mother would constantly barge in and want to make changes to our plans. The truth is that that wouldn't have been such a problem except for the fact that my spineless soon-to-be husband let her!
That is rule number one when dealing with Inlaws in marriage: always, always keep a united front. You can argue like cats and dogs when you are alone behind closed doors, but when someone else (yes, even a parent) tries to make decisions or change existing plans you tell them no!
I'll tell you right now, it's a real kick in the teeth when the person you love and who you think loves you will take his mothers advice and make changes to your wedding plans without even asking you for your opinion. And yes, I know what you're thinking, I probably should have called it off right then and there.
And that leads me to point number two: the problems are usually pretty easy to spot if you aren't actively trying to ignore them . If your spouse was unable to set proper boundaries with their parents before the two of you got married, what in the world made you think they would after you got married?
It's wonderful that they have a close relationship with their parent(s), but there still has to be boundaries. It's you and them now not them and their parents. That may sound harsh but that is the way it has to be. You and them are the couple, you are in this life together and must make your decisions together. It's fine to get the opinion of a parent, it's even advisable since their experience may be able to help you make better choices, but ultimately decisions have to be made by the two of you only.
When it comes to dealing with Inlaws in marriage it's all about setting boundaries. The longer the two of you have been together (and the longer your inlaws have gotten their own way) the harder it will be to establish those boundaries, but if you want your marriage to succeed you must do it. And you and your spouse must be able to find some common ground. A therapist may be able to help with that part.
My first marriage ended in divorce. It wasn't a shock to anyone. My husband begged me to marry him shortly after we started dating. I, of course, said no at first since it was just too soon. But as we got to know each other better and fell in love, my "no" turned to a "yes" and we were married.
The problems started long before the wedding bells started ringing. During the planning of our wedding his mother would constantly barge in and want to make changes to our plans. The truth is that that wouldn't have been such a problem except for the fact that my spineless soon-to-be husband let her!
That is rule number one when dealing with Inlaws in marriage: always, always keep a united front. You can argue like cats and dogs when you are alone behind closed doors, but when someone else (yes, even a parent) tries to make decisions or change existing plans you tell them no!
I'll tell you right now, it's a real kick in the teeth when the person you love and who you think loves you will take his mothers advice and make changes to your wedding plans without even asking you for your opinion. And yes, I know what you're thinking, I probably should have called it off right then and there.
And that leads me to point number two: the problems are usually pretty easy to spot if you aren't actively trying to ignore them . If your spouse was unable to set proper boundaries with their parents before the two of you got married, what in the world made you think they would after you got married?
It's wonderful that they have a close relationship with their parent(s), but there still has to be boundaries. It's you and them now not them and their parents. That may sound harsh but that is the way it has to be. You and them are the couple, you are in this life together and must make your decisions together. It's fine to get the opinion of a parent, it's even advisable since their experience may be able to help you make better choices, but ultimately decisions have to be made by the two of you only.
When it comes to dealing with Inlaws in marriage it's all about setting boundaries. The longer the two of you have been together (and the longer your inlaws have gotten their own way) the harder it will be to establish those boundaries, but if you want your marriage to succeed you must do it. And you and your spouse must be able to find some common ground. A therapist may be able to help with that part.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Family Dynamics In Marriage-Take A Step Back With Unbiased Eye
There can be many different family dynamics in marriage that occur. Often, the ones you are dealing with can be causing a lot of tension and stress. To get to the heart of all the negative issues that plague your marriage, you may need a little more help. Finding a professional who can walk you through it might be a very good idea.
It's a rare individual who can look at themselves and see all of their flaws. It takes and even more unique individual to actually admit to those flaws even if they have noticed them. When you put two flawed people together with these traits into a marriage, well, yeah the sparks will fly!
The first step you have to do if you want a clear picture of the family dynamics in marriage is to take a step back and try to see your marriage as clearly and with as unbiased of an eye as possible. It might be hard for you to do but it will be easy for your friends, family or a therapist to do.
They aren't emotionally invested and they aren't worried about being the one who is "wrong". They can see things far more clearly than you will be able to see them. Of course, family and friends will be reluctant to tell you the truth because they won't want to hurt you or lose your friendship by making you mad. So, it's probably best to find a good therapist, they have nothing to lose so you know they will be honest.
Finding the unhealthy dynamics in your family is just step one, the next step will be to get all parties involved on the same page. Trying to get more than one person who is willing to face their own flaws and actively make changes is challenging, to say the least. Most people simply aren't strong enough to be willing to face their flaws let alone actually make strides to change the. Trying to get two or more to do it is close to impossible.
Still, it is worth a shot. The depth of the issues and the depth of the love are two very important factors that will help determine how likely you are to succeed in each making some needed changes. If one partner just doesn't care that much, or is just too selfish and immature, and won't try, it will be pretty close to impossible to make any real changes and make the dynamics of the family any better.
Whatever the dynamics of your family are, you should always try to make improvements if you aren't happy with the way things are. No one knows whether it will fail or succeed but if you aren't happy right now, you really don't have anything to lose, do you?
Family dynamics in marriage has many sides and can be quite convoluted. For that reason finding a professional who has experience in these issues will go a long way to helping your family find the peace and stability you all really want.
It's a rare individual who can look at themselves and see all of their flaws. It takes and even more unique individual to actually admit to those flaws even if they have noticed them. When you put two flawed people together with these traits into a marriage, well, yeah the sparks will fly!
The first step you have to do if you want a clear picture of the family dynamics in marriage is to take a step back and try to see your marriage as clearly and with as unbiased of an eye as possible. It might be hard for you to do but it will be easy for your friends, family or a therapist to do.
They aren't emotionally invested and they aren't worried about being the one who is "wrong". They can see things far more clearly than you will be able to see them. Of course, family and friends will be reluctant to tell you the truth because they won't want to hurt you or lose your friendship by making you mad. So, it's probably best to find a good therapist, they have nothing to lose so you know they will be honest.
Finding the unhealthy dynamics in your family is just step one, the next step will be to get all parties involved on the same page. Trying to get more than one person who is willing to face their own flaws and actively make changes is challenging, to say the least. Most people simply aren't strong enough to be willing to face their flaws let alone actually make strides to change the. Trying to get two or more to do it is close to impossible.
Still, it is worth a shot. The depth of the issues and the depth of the love are two very important factors that will help determine how likely you are to succeed in each making some needed changes. If one partner just doesn't care that much, or is just too selfish and immature, and won't try, it will be pretty close to impossible to make any real changes and make the dynamics of the family any better.
Whatever the dynamics of your family are, you should always try to make improvements if you aren't happy with the way things are. No one knows whether it will fail or succeed but if you aren't happy right now, you really don't have anything to lose, do you?
Family dynamics in marriage has many sides and can be quite convoluted. For that reason finding a professional who has experience in these issues will go a long way to helping your family find the peace and stability you all really want.
Monday, June 20, 2011
New Marriage After Divorce-Workout Past Baggage First
You were divorced several years ago and now are wondering how a new marriage after divorce would work out. The first one did not go so well and even though you were married for years you were just never that happy. Was it you? Was it him? Who really can answer that question? Hopefully the lawyers chimed in on this one.
My suggestion would be to talk out your insecurities with a professional before entering into another long term relationship. You are scared and have every right to be. Have faith though you can have the relationship you want and be happy for the rest of your life if you are ready to put in the work.
New marriage after divorce can be an exciting time for both of you. New love is always exciting. I makes you see the world in a whole new light. If you worked out your baggage well before this new relationship happened then you are one step ahead of the game and this relationship will be smooth sailing from the start.
Like I said it is ok to be scared, who wouldn't be. Just let the scared urge you to keep on top of the communication that is needed in any relationship and to deal with the problems as they arise. More than likely, that is what happened in the first relationship that ended so badly. Communication broke down and things did not get dealt with they were just left to fester and then they got so big they were unmanageable when they came to a head.
You are obviously a little older and with the work you did on yourself you are no doubt a lot wiser, too. Do not just revert back to the old you. If this new person in your life really does love you, they will also respect you more if you have the courage to stand up for yourself and what you believe in rather than just lay down and let them walk all over you.
You deserve better than that, especially from yourself. If you have done the work, then you should have no trouble being able to talk to your new love about anything. The more the communication lines stay open the less misunderstanding there will be and the two of you will probably rarely, if ever, have a fight. It really is all about the communication.
You would not even be considering this new marriage if there was no love there. But you probably loved your ex at some point, right? So, love does not a good marriage make. You have got to have respect and the ability to communicate what you are thinking and feeling. Someday, if you do this well in the beginning, you will both be able to tell what the other thinks and feels with out even asking. New marriage after divorce takes some work up front then you will be able to enjoy the fruits of your labors for years to come.
My suggestion would be to talk out your insecurities with a professional before entering into another long term relationship. You are scared and have every right to be. Have faith though you can have the relationship you want and be happy for the rest of your life if you are ready to put in the work.
New marriage after divorce can be an exciting time for both of you. New love is always exciting. I makes you see the world in a whole new light. If you worked out your baggage well before this new relationship happened then you are one step ahead of the game and this relationship will be smooth sailing from the start.
Like I said it is ok to be scared, who wouldn't be. Just let the scared urge you to keep on top of the communication that is needed in any relationship and to deal with the problems as they arise. More than likely, that is what happened in the first relationship that ended so badly. Communication broke down and things did not get dealt with they were just left to fester and then they got so big they were unmanageable when they came to a head.
You are obviously a little older and with the work you did on yourself you are no doubt a lot wiser, too. Do not just revert back to the old you. If this new person in your life really does love you, they will also respect you more if you have the courage to stand up for yourself and what you believe in rather than just lay down and let them walk all over you.
You deserve better than that, especially from yourself. If you have done the work, then you should have no trouble being able to talk to your new love about anything. The more the communication lines stay open the less misunderstanding there will be and the two of you will probably rarely, if ever, have a fight. It really is all about the communication.
You would not even be considering this new marriage if there was no love there. But you probably loved your ex at some point, right? So, love does not a good marriage make. You have got to have respect and the ability to communicate what you are thinking and feeling. Someday, if you do this well in the beginning, you will both be able to tell what the other thinks and feels with out even asking. New marriage after divorce takes some work up front then you will be able to enjoy the fruits of your labors for years to come.
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