Sunday, November 6, 2011

Marriage Search

The divorce rate in America is high, upwards of 50-60%. With so many marriages failing it might cause you to worry for your own marriage. This worry is only compounded on if you and your spouse are having problems to begin with. Now days divorce seems too easy, a way to escape the hardships and pain of an unhappy marriage. But with it's ease also comes the fact that people may be jumping the gun.

Many marriages end despite both parties still loving and caring for each other. When looking at your marriage search for why exactly you chose your spouse to begin with. If you are truly unhappy and do not love them anymore, then divorce is a viable option. However if you still love them and want to save your marriage and make it work, there are some tips to help you out.

1. Communication. One of the main problems marriages suffer is the lack of communication. One or both parties keep their grievances to themselves and bottle up their emotions. This comes out during fights and the other party can feel blindsided, which just makes it that much worse. Being open with your spouse and telling them in a polite and calm manner when you have problems is important for a stable relationship.

2. Compromise. When trying to decide what to do with your marriage search yourself for the right answer. You are an individual person and so is your spouse, this means you will not agree on everything. When such disagreements arise try to come to a compromise so that both parties can be happy.

3. Remain calm and take your time. When problems do arise in your marriage it is important to stay calm and work through things slowly. If you allow yourself to get hot under the color you may say or do things you will come to regret later on. As well, being rash and trying to rush things can make them worse. So keeping your cool and taking it nice and easy when fixing problems is the key.

4. Forgive and forget. Do not make a mountain out of a mole hill. If you and your spouse have an argument over something minor, just let it go. One thing that happens a lot in marriage is one or both parties clinging to past mistakes or arguments and using them as ammunition in the next one. Instead of doing that, just forget about it, let it go and move on.

5. If all else fails, see a counselor. When you have tried every other option and you can not seem to keep your marriage from spiraling out of control, seeking professional help may be the only way. Marriage counselors are trained to help you marriage search and find, and fix, the problems you face.

It may seem like a bad omen if you have to go to a marriage counselor but that is preferable to divorce, and it might end up saving your marriage. However it is a last resort, so if you are able to take the steps to fix your marriage yourself you should try doing that.

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