So how do you improve recovery from a break up? The trick is to get back together. Most couples split for silly reasons. With some good communication they could overcome their problems and be happy.
You first need to decide if you want to get back with this person. Forget about what they want for a moment and concentrate on what you would like. Once you are certain, you will be much more convincing as you persuade the other person to give you another chance.
If you decide that you do not want to get back with your ex partner you should have no problem getting over the break up. But I don’t think you are willing to let that relationship go, do you?
You need to set up a meeting with your ex to discuss your future. Apologise for anything that went wrong, whether it was your fault or not; and agree to put it in the past. Yes you need to resolve your issues but you don't need to dwell on them.
Focus on the positives. What have you got going for you? Why should the two of you be together? Talk about the great times you have had, the history you share, the sexual attraction that burns between you and hopefully you will be celebrating getting back together very soon.
It may take a couple of meetings and a while to get back on track but it will be worth it. If you had a great relationship it is worth fighting for. Finding someone special to love who loves you in return isn’t easy and shouldn’t be given up lightly. Add to that a shared history, family and children and you will soon realise, if you haven’t already done so, that you belong together.
If there was a reason for your breakup, perhaps one of you had an affair; it doesn’t need to spell the end. Affairs always happen for a reason. Perhaps you were not paying your partner any or enough attention. Perhaps they felt taken for granted. Or it could be something as simple as too many drinks at the Christmas/office party. None of these make adultry right.
I know that it is not easy to accept your partner sleeping with someone else; but you can get over it. If you still love this person and want them in your life, go to couples counselling and see can the therapist help you both to work through your feelings. You may find that you cannot live with the deceit and betrayal and decide to split up after all. But you could also decide that by bringing all the problems into the open, you can resolve them and go forward with a much stronger relationship. You just need to approach the situation with an open mind.
Having someone you love in your life is far too important to let it go over something trivial or in some cases something very hurtful. So forget about trying to improve the "breakup recovery" and concentrate on getting your partnership back on track.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
How To Avoid Break Up Letters And Stay Together
Nobody likes to receive a "Dear John" letter, phone call and thanks to technology; a "Dear John" text message (is that cruel or what?). The good news is that you can avoid getting break up letters and messages.
Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.
We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.
Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.
Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.
The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.
Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.
Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.
Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.
Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.
We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.
Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.
Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.
The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.
Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.
Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.
Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
How To Escape The Final Stages Of Breaking Up
As we know very few people suddenly break up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.
We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.
Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.
Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.
Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.
Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.
So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.
True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.
We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.
Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.
Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.
Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.
Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.
So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.
True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Do You Know The 3 Warning Signs Of A Breakup
If you know the warning signs of a break up you will be better able to avoid splitting from your lover. All relationships are different but there are usually similar symptoms of trouble to look out for:
1) Your partner is ignoring you.
Now I don’t mean that they are not talking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they are feeling or even where they were? If you are like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a little work.
Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they are your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.
So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?
2) Your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.
If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this. Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.
3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom
While sex is only a three letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time. Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings. So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.
You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isn’t. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!
1) Your partner is ignoring you.
Now I don’t mean that they are not talking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they are feeling or even where they were? If you are like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a little work.
Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they are your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.
So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?
2) Your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.
If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this. Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.
3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom
While sex is only a three letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time. Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings. So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.
You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isn’t. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Warning Signs Of A Break Up What You Need To Do NOW
If you see warning signs of a break up you need to act quickly to avoid splitting up. It's a great deal easier to prevent a split then to try to reconcile after the event.
So what should you be watching out for? The obvious one is if you're both always arguing. I believe it's healthy for couples to argue from time to time as making up is fun! But when you just fight and do not make friends, you're on dangerous ground.
Perhaps worse is when you've gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore each other. There's nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with somebody and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.
Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with others. Now do not get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It's when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.
If you see any signs of trouble, you can't ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a really nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.
If you have kids arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.
Do not jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You'll only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Alternatively, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation? Is there anything they feel could be improved?
Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgemental. It is not going to be easy and you might have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.
You might not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it may be all it takes to begin the process of getting your relationship back on track. There's a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. Meanwhile, you need to reassure one another that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that's worth fighting for.
Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.
So what should you be watching out for? The obvious one is if you're both always arguing. I believe it's healthy for couples to argue from time to time as making up is fun! But when you just fight and do not make friends, you're on dangerous ground.
Perhaps worse is when you've gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore each other. There's nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with somebody and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.
Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with others. Now do not get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It's when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.
If you see any signs of trouble, you can't ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a really nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.
If you have kids arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.
Do not jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You'll only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Alternatively, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation? Is there anything they feel could be improved?
Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgemental. It is not going to be easy and you might have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.
You might not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it may be all it takes to begin the process of getting your relationship back on track. There's a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. Meanwhile, you need to reassure one another that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that's worth fighting for.
Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Do You Know How To Prevent A Long Term Relationship Breakup
All couples experience rough patches from time to time; which could lead to a breakup. Frankly, if you don't, you may find out your missing out on a really meaningful part of your relationship. It's not a question if you are, but when you are going to hit that rough patch in your relationship. The question you need to be asking yourself right now is "Before this happens, I need to know 'how to prevent a long term relationship breakup' from happening to us." The following tips may well help you avoid that heartwrenching breakup.
We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.
Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk about the kids, job, your money issues and of course talking about family members (or suffer the consequences).
The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret about yourself. Talk to your partner about their interest, passion and most of all listen to what they say.
When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It isn't all together about having sex (a man would ask "It isn't?"), but holding hands, listening, talking, cuddling, affectionate, being there when needed and perhaps most all trusting one another.
If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out. Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and desperation on both sides. But you can't pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game.
Both of you have to make a list of all the nice things you would like to do/have done to each other; you should forget revenge and mayhem (really bad for saving a relationship). Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice, hot bath and allow her to soak for an hour; with only the candles for company. And guess what that can lead to for the man.
Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the "X" factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. However, the good news is, with work by you both, you can fan those "smoldering ember's into an all consuming fire of passion.
Couples that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings, make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life isn't a bed of roses, but it's a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love.
These are just a few of the things involved in "how to prevent a long term relationship breakup". Be sure you take the time to implement these things now and stop any further damage to your relationship.
We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.
Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk about the kids, job, your money issues and of course talking about family members (or suffer the consequences).
The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret about yourself. Talk to your partner about their interest, passion and most of all listen to what they say.
When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It isn't all together about having sex (a man would ask "It isn't?"), but holding hands, listening, talking, cuddling, affectionate, being there when needed and perhaps most all trusting one another.
If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out. Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and desperation on both sides. But you can't pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game.
Both of you have to make a list of all the nice things you would like to do/have done to each other; you should forget revenge and mayhem (really bad for saving a relationship). Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice, hot bath and allow her to soak for an hour; with only the candles for company. And guess what that can lead to for the man.
Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the "X" factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. However, the good news is, with work by you both, you can fan those "smoldering ember's into an all consuming fire of passion.
Couples that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings, make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life isn't a bed of roses, but it's a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love.
These are just a few of the things involved in "how to prevent a long term relationship breakup". Be sure you take the time to implement these things now and stop any further damage to your relationship.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
What Is The Remedy For A Broken Heart
Unless you've been lucky, you have in all likelihood been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?
Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Maybe you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It's worth apologizing and asking for another chance if you feel this individual is your significant other.
It might be that you both said things that you regret. Frequently couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health not to mention families. See if your relationship is worth saving . You can go to counseling for unbiased help and advice. It's worth a shot, as getting back together with your loved one, is a really good remedy for a broken heart.
Occasionally though a relationship ends and it's final. Yes you'll feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period, after a difficult breakup, precisely like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost but then acknowledge it's time to move on.
You need to look after yourself. Why not take that vacation you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your regular routine. Your life will be different now so rather than approaching it with fear, grab this chance with both hands. Who knows, something or somebody better might just be around that next corner.
I don't believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they're teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who might have made mistakes in their respective pasts but have now found happiness again.
We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Occasionally our significant other changes also and as a couple, we adapt and stick together. Frequently though, we find we want different things and while you might be heartbroken initially, you might ultimately be happier with somebody else; or even on your own.
If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to somebody. There are plenty of counselors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping other people also. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children's school or visit elderly neighbors, we frequently forget about our own problems.
It's really easy to wallow in feeling of sadness but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.
Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Maybe you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It's worth apologizing and asking for another chance if you feel this individual is your significant other.
It might be that you both said things that you regret. Frequently couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health not to mention families. See if your relationship is worth saving . You can go to counseling for unbiased help and advice. It's worth a shot, as getting back together with your loved one, is a really good remedy for a broken heart.
Occasionally though a relationship ends and it's final. Yes you'll feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period, after a difficult breakup, precisely like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost but then acknowledge it's time to move on.
You need to look after yourself. Why not take that vacation you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your regular routine. Your life will be different now so rather than approaching it with fear, grab this chance with both hands. Who knows, something or somebody better might just be around that next corner.
I don't believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they're teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who might have made mistakes in their respective pasts but have now found happiness again.
We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Occasionally our significant other changes also and as a couple, we adapt and stick together. Frequently though, we find we want different things and while you might be heartbroken initially, you might ultimately be happier with somebody else; or even on your own.
If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to somebody. There are plenty of counselors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping other people also. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children's school or visit elderly neighbors, we frequently forget about our own problems.
It's really easy to wallow in feeling of sadness but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.
Monday, November 2, 2009
4 Tips And More On Overcoming A Breakup
Unless you met the love of your life and stayed with them forever, you must have experienced the ending of a love affair. Here are a few tips on overcoming a breakup:
1) Be nice to yourself:
While you might be feeling low and unloved, the end of a relationship does not have to mean you stay on your own forever. Mr or Ms Right could be the next person to walk through the door. Meanwhile be nice to yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but your last lover was not interested in. There are in all likelihood some shows and films that you'd love to see. Grab some friends and head out for the evening.
2) do not be seen as being desperate:
Desperation isn't an attractive emotion in anybody. If you want your ex to take you back, you need to show them what they're missing. They will not want somebody who's miserable all the time. They want the person they originally fell in love with.
So despite how you're feeling you always need to present the best side of you in public. Dress nicely so you look good and above all plaster a smile on your face. Even if you feel like you're going to die from the pain, you never know when you will meet your ex or a mutual friend, so act happy; even if it's the performance of your life. You can cry into your pillow when you are home alone.
3) do not let your life stop:
Yes! I said you could cry into your pillow but I didn’t mean all day every day. Feeling miserable after a break up is natural but if you wallow in self pity, you typically wind up feeling worse. There's more to life than any partner so get out there and start enjoying yourself. You might have to pretend for a while but soon you'll find that you're actually having fun again.
4) do not over analyze what went wrong:
Yes we need to learn from our mistakes but the breakup might not have been your fault. It could simply be that the other person got scared of commitment i.e. cold feet. If they get in contact , agree to meet them for a drink and see how things go. Be polite and listen to what they have to say. If they want you back, do not be too eager, but agree to see how it goes.
If you were the one who finished things, but now realize you made a mistake, tell your ex. They're not mind readers and they will not know you want to rekindle your love affair unless you tell them.
Men and women frequently get things wrong as we see life so differently. Occasionally we have to split from our partner to realize what we had was real love. Frequently a break and a little communication goes a long way to overcoming a breakup and getting back together.
1) Be nice to yourself:
While you might be feeling low and unloved, the end of a relationship does not have to mean you stay on your own forever. Mr or Ms Right could be the next person to walk through the door. Meanwhile be nice to yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but your last lover was not interested in. There are in all likelihood some shows and films that you'd love to see. Grab some friends and head out for the evening.
2) do not be seen as being desperate:
Desperation isn't an attractive emotion in anybody. If you want your ex to take you back, you need to show them what they're missing. They will not want somebody who's miserable all the time. They want the person they originally fell in love with.
So despite how you're feeling you always need to present the best side of you in public. Dress nicely so you look good and above all plaster a smile on your face. Even if you feel like you're going to die from the pain, you never know when you will meet your ex or a mutual friend, so act happy; even if it's the performance of your life. You can cry into your pillow when you are home alone.
3) do not let your life stop:
Yes! I said you could cry into your pillow but I didn’t mean all day every day. Feeling miserable after a break up is natural but if you wallow in self pity, you typically wind up feeling worse. There's more to life than any partner so get out there and start enjoying yourself. You might have to pretend for a while but soon you'll find that you're actually having fun again.
4) do not over analyze what went wrong:
Yes we need to learn from our mistakes but the breakup might not have been your fault. It could simply be that the other person got scared of commitment i.e. cold feet. If they get in contact , agree to meet them for a drink and see how things go. Be polite and listen to what they have to say. If they want you back, do not be too eager, but agree to see how it goes.
If you were the one who finished things, but now realize you made a mistake, tell your ex. They're not mind readers and they will not know you want to rekindle your love affair unless you tell them.
Men and women frequently get things wrong as we see life so differently. Occasionally we have to split from our partner to realize what we had was real love. Frequently a break and a little communication goes a long way to overcoming a breakup and getting back together.
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