Friday, December 18, 2009

How To Be A Confident Girlfriend Without Being Over Confident

How to be a confident girlfriend is something every woman needs to learn to be. There are very few men out there who like a woman who is lacking in self confidence. They tend to be needy and always need reassuring. This can be quite a turn off when it goes on for any length of time.

Sure we all have days when we feel awful. I am positive that even Carmen Electra wakes up some mornings feeling less than gorgeous but you do not need to tell the world about it. Men love confident women as they know that when they get them into bed, they won't be afraid to ask for what they want. Also confidence is power and some men love powerful women. But don't go overboard as confidence does not mean that you have to be arrogant. Yes there is a fine line but it is one that doesn't need to be crossed.

So how do you build your self esteem? You can do this in a number of ways but the most effective is to practice positive thinking. It is hard to feel low and ugly when you are walking around with a big smile on your face. Make a list of your good points and see how many things you have to feel grateful for. Be genuinely thankful for what you do have as then you may see even more of the positives that are already part of your life.

If you experienced something in your life that has affected your confidence then get some help. Counseling is a wonderful way of working through past demons and learning how to leave the past where it belongs i.e. behind you. You can't change what happened but you can change your reaction to these events and how it affects your future.

Fake it for a while. Pretend you are the most confident woman in the world. Your subconscious can't tell the difference between a lie and the truth so if you fake it for long enough, you will start believing and your self esteem levels will improve.

Ask your man why he is with you but not in a whiny type of way. You can ask him to tell you what he most loves about you? What he thinks your best assets are? Also choose your moment with care, this is not a post sex question.

Ask your friends to write down a list of your nicest characteristics. I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised at how people value you and what qualities they think you have. Practice being assertive and reward yourself for the successes you have achieved in life. If there is something you are really afraid of, why not try it today?

Perhaps you are afraid of heights, so try booking a hang gliding course. Ask your boyfriend to come with you. Maybe do it as a charity fundraiser. Once you face your fears and conquer them, you will no longer have to ask how to be a confident girlfriend. Your inner self confidence will shine like a beacon.

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