Showing posts with label get back together with your ex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label get back together with your ex. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Get Back Together With Your Ex - Timming Is Everything

Want to know how to get back together with your ex? You may think that it's impossible, but in most cases, it's not. It's always best to give your ex a little time before you talk to them. Let them cool off somewhat and spend some time alone. Many people want to rush right back in because they're afraid that if they give their ex too much time they will find someone else. And sometimes they do, but don't worry, rebound relationships rarely work out. Just give both of you some time to breathe.

Another thing to keep in mind is that unless you make some changes things will only work out the same way when the two of you do get back together. You don't want that do you? Of course not, no one wants to repeat a cycle where they cause pain for themselves and their partner. That's why it's a great idea to figure out what went wrong the first time. By doing this you can make some changes so you don't just repeat the same destructive cycle over and over again.

So, when trying to get back together with your ex, how do you figure out what went wrong? It will take some time and honesty. The best way is to think back about some of the arguments you and your ex had. What did you argue about? What did your ex complain to you about regarding your behavior? For example, if your ex says you never listen then that means, at least from their perspective, that you aren't really 'tuned' into them and their needs. Now, of course, this might just be their perception, but more often than not, there's some reason they believe this to be true. If you look honestly at yourself and your behavior you may see some of what they are talking about.

So, now that you have some ideas of what issues you've had, now what? Well, now you change. I know, I made that sound easy and it will take time but that's the next step. Once you are aware of the way you act, it's much, much easier to make changes. We tend to do (and act) in default mode most of the time. It's not until we actually, consciously, choose to monitor the way we act and the things we say that we can make real changes. It will take time and practice to make these changes, but you can do it if you want to badly enough.

The really neat thing about all of this, is that not only can you get your ex back and have a great relationship with them, but you'll also be a better person.

So, to recap, if you really want to find a way to get back together with your ex and making it last this time, your best bet is to face up to the problems and find ways to fix them. Accept the mistakes you've made and learn to improve on the person you are. Once you show this side to your ex they will probably be calling you and begging you to get back together. Cool huh?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Five Steps to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without A War

After a breakup has taken place, it's very common for at least one of the parties to want to win back the other. It may seem like a difficult task, depending on the circumstances, but in general, you can follow five rules to get back together with your ex.

1. Bring your focus back to yourself. You're probably so consumed with how you can get your ex back, you've forgotten to do one of the most essential things in order to increase your chances. You've got to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Take time to go out with friends and family. Join new activities. Do what you need to do to restore your inner balance and to keep your mind off your ex for a while. This will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and make you more attractive.

2. Let your "new" self be revealed. If you've done the first step right, you are now feeling better both inside and out. In reality, the "new you" is really probably at least partly the "old you" that was hidden because of the emotional stress you took on during the breakup. It's important to remember that change is a part of life and plays a role in any relationship as well. When you embrace change, rather than fighting it off, you can reach your goals much faster and with fewer obstacles.

3. Be flexible. If you haven't yet learned this, you need to compromise in any relationship and compromising is a key that could determine whether you will get back together with your ex or not. If you don't have a willingness to compromise, you have a tough road ahead of you in any situation.

4. Forgive. Some people find this difficult because they are convinced that the other person is to blame. In relationships, both partners contribute to a break-up. Even when one person cheats on the other, while the person who has been cheated on is not necessarily to blame, there are some reasons that led the other person to cheat. Or if he/she is just unfaithful by nature, then you should not be trying to work out a relationship anyway. Maybe you are the person who did the cheating. In this case, you hope that the other person can forgive you and you also should forgive yourself in order to move on. Because the fact of the matter is, you cannot change the past. Putting the past into perspective when you deal with forgiveness is important. Remember that forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Remembering your mistakes can allow you to prevent them from happening in the future.


5. Develop a plan to get back together with your ex. You can do this on your own or with the help of a counselor or friend.