Tuesday, March 10, 2009

How To Get My Boyfriend Back After I Drove Him Away

One of the queries that you might ask yourself is how to get my boyfriend back. The pattern of dating is full of ups and downs, and most of the downs are the effect of a misunderstanding. So when you're trying to figure out what failed, here are a few hints as to where men get the wrong message and wind up backing off.

A lot of men back off for a reason that appears unreasonable. By trying too hard to please the guy, serving his every need, in the long run you are selling yourself as a doormat in his eyes. The idea is to be respectful with who you are, and how you sell yourself. That's not to say you should be dominant, merely that you should say that being somebody who's respectable is how to get my boyfriend back. Men do like to be treated well from time to time, but they want women who can standup for themselves.

Another thing that will send them away is to discuss your ex's. Men are competing when they're dating. They're thinking of the other men who are potential challengers to their efforts, so when you mention other men in your life you're giving them something to compare against. Again, this isn't to say you shouldn't say anything. Background and personal history is significant. Acknowledging that you dated one man throughout highschool and college is important. Telling your date that he's a footballer with twenty awards, his game stats, where his tattoos are, etc. is overmuch. Concentrating on one ex will sell the idea that either you still have feelings for him, or if it's all negative, you'll cause your date to over analyze themselves.

Business like behaviour, or conversely being too promiscuous, will work against you. The general ideal is a refined or feminine behavior. Too much on the skin side can work against you, but being boylike will also push away prospects. You should be feminine, conservative, and somebody who's not cheap or intimidating.

Pressuring him is another turn off. This includes trying to get him to define his role and analyze who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to like having their feelings challenged, and if he has an idea that's proven wrong, then it may send him packing.

Another thing to send him packing is to try and alter him. You can't. Men think that being steady means that you want him for him, so trying to alter him is going to tell him he has a serious problem. Even if he doesn't have a problem, trying to alter him will challenge his beliefs and strip him of who he is. Let him be him. If you need something else, find somebody else.

No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect; but when you're trying to work out how to get my boyfriend back, these are steps to make certain you don't scare him off.

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