Affair relationships, can they really last? If your relationship has started off as an affair and the two of you are wondering if you should leave your spouses and try to make a go of your relationship, you have to carefully consider the consequences of such an action.
It's very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing you're both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that you've both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won't each cheat on each other? Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.
For one thing, are there kids involved? This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzzies for the person who broke their other parent's heart (at least that's the way the kids will see it. More than likely they'll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).
Even if there aren't kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.
One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didn't share any responsibilities. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it's way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new 'soulmate' may not seem so brand new in five or ten years... just like your spouse.
Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just don't feel love for your spouse (and I'm not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.
If it comes to that, it's best for everyone involved if you don't let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.
Affair relationships almost never work, but if the two of you have decided that even though you met in the wrong way, you still have a deep love for each other and that your marriages have been over for a long time, you might as well give it a go. Just keep the fact that you've been together while you were still married to other people, between the two of you. No need to cause unnecessary pain.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Marriage Infidelity - Gut Check Time
Let's face facts, not all marriages should be saved. Sometimes the two partner's just aren't compatible and just can't make thinks work. At other times there are real issues such as marriage infidelity, which can be virtually impossible to move past.
If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.
Here's a few things to keep in mind:
1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.
If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.
2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse.
Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.
3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.
On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
Also, the person who strayed has to own it, period. Now is not the time to blame your spouse and use the classic line: "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me". B.S. You are every bit as guilty, maybe more so, in the failing of your marriage as your spouse. Don't blame your weakness and the fact that you cheated on your partner. You did it, period. Own it and you'll be a better person for it.
Marriage infidelity can be gotten past, but only if the two of you are willing to try, and try hard. Good luck.
If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.
Here's a few things to keep in mind:
1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.
If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.
2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse.
Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.
3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.
On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
Also, the person who strayed has to own it, period. Now is not the time to blame your spouse and use the classic line: "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me". B.S. You are every bit as guilty, maybe more so, in the failing of your marriage as your spouse. Don't blame your weakness and the fact that you cheated on your partner. You did it, period. Own it and you'll be a better person for it.
Marriage infidelity can be gotten past, but only if the two of you are willing to try, and try hard. Good luck.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Relationship Break Up Advice - Dont Let It Whip You
It seems like every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article about relationship break up advice. The truth is that finding out the best way to deal with a breakup is information virtually every one will need at some point. Whether you want to try to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it will take time (and having some friends around won't hurt either).
The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new. Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.
Even though we may wish we could at times, we can't just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we'd been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we'll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don't call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.
Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic. For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it's all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done. Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.
If you've been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.
No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget. The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.
The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new. Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.
Even though we may wish we could at times, we can't just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we'd been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we'll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don't call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.
Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic. For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it's all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done. Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.
If you've been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.
No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget. The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.
Monday, August 23, 2010
How Can I Get My Boyfriend To Love Me Again - Right Now
Sometimes a relationship can be over before it's over. The two of you may still be together but the warmth, love and companionship is gone. At times like this a woman may ask the question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again? Answering this question will be easier if the two of you are still together, but not impossible if you aren't. You have to figure out what caused the relationship to cool and then try to reverse whatever that was.
If the two of you recently broke up the thing that you feel most like doing is the one thing you absolutely should never do: call him (text him, IM him, etc. ) This is especially important if he broke up with you. If you start acting like some sort of crazy stalker lady, at worst you're going to end up with a restraining order against you and at best he'll only think of you as his 'sure thing, back up plan'. Neither of those are terrific options. Give him space.
That doesn't mean that you have to go out and find another guy or hide under your bed. While you are giving your ex time, take some time for you. I'm sure that there are things that you wanted to do or liked to do that got put on the back burner while the two of you were together. Now is the time to remember those things and start doing them again.
Most men prefer a woman who is self sufficient and confidant. Those are probably traits you had at first, it's time to re introduce yourself to those traits and start having fun and doing all the things you meant to do or used to do. Your ex will hear about it through the grapevine and he will be intrigued. You might just find that he is calling you, by resorting to the woman you used to be you are reminding him of the woman he fell in love with. Plus, by keeping yourself busy you aren't allowing yourself time to wallow and obsess.
The same principle can hold true if you and your guy are still together, but just not feeling the love. Don't make a big issue out of it, just start doing some of the things that you were planning on doing but somehow got sidetracked when you and your guy got together. Whatever it was, whether it was going back to school, learning to cook, taking a trip, etc. This will remind both of you of the woman you used to be. That can help him remember the love he had for you and it can remind you of the person you used to be and make positive changes to be that woman again.
The question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again, can seem so sad and hopeless. But it doesn't have to be. There are many things that you can do, many of which are much easier than you may have thought possible, that can help you and your boyfriend rekindle the love the two of you had before.
If the two of you recently broke up the thing that you feel most like doing is the one thing you absolutely should never do: call him (text him, IM him, etc. ) This is especially important if he broke up with you. If you start acting like some sort of crazy stalker lady, at worst you're going to end up with a restraining order against you and at best he'll only think of you as his 'sure thing, back up plan'. Neither of those are terrific options. Give him space.
That doesn't mean that you have to go out and find another guy or hide under your bed. While you are giving your ex time, take some time for you. I'm sure that there are things that you wanted to do or liked to do that got put on the back burner while the two of you were together. Now is the time to remember those things and start doing them again.
Most men prefer a woman who is self sufficient and confidant. Those are probably traits you had at first, it's time to re introduce yourself to those traits and start having fun and doing all the things you meant to do or used to do. Your ex will hear about it through the grapevine and he will be intrigued. You might just find that he is calling you, by resorting to the woman you used to be you are reminding him of the woman he fell in love with. Plus, by keeping yourself busy you aren't allowing yourself time to wallow and obsess.
The same principle can hold true if you and your guy are still together, but just not feeling the love. Don't make a big issue out of it, just start doing some of the things that you were planning on doing but somehow got sidetracked when you and your guy got together. Whatever it was, whether it was going back to school, learning to cook, taking a trip, etc. This will remind both of you of the woman you used to be. That can help him remember the love he had for you and it can remind you of the person you used to be and make positive changes to be that woman again.
The question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again, can seem so sad and hopeless. But it doesn't have to be. There are many things that you can do, many of which are much easier than you may have thought possible, that can help you and your boyfriend rekindle the love the two of you had before.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Win Over The Man You Love Dating - 4 Tips
Tired of dating? Want to move your relationship to the next level? Want to win over man you love dating? Well, if you go about it in the right way, you'll greatly increase the chances of making it work out just the way you hoped it would. Of course, your idea of what exactly the 'next level' is and his may be two different things. Your idea of the next level may be marriage, to him it may just mean living together, or vice a versa. Make sure that when you talk about the next level that you clearly define what exactly that means to you.
Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help 'push' things along:
1. Talk to him. Tell him what you want. Be careful how you approach this because you don't want to sound whiny or needy (if this is something you really want and you really feel strongly about it's easy to sound a little desperate if you're not careful). Again, don't just tell him you want to take things to the next level, be clear on what that means to you.
2. It's important that you don't push the issue. It's great to bring it up after all, you can't expect him to read your mind can you? You just have to make sure that you're going to be able to accept whatever he wants without getting upset. If the two of you have been together for a while and this topic has never come up it's almost a sure bet that he isn't interested in taking things to the next level, if he were he would have already brought it up (of course, it's possible that he's just shy or afraid to bring it up because he didn't know what you'd say and he got scared).
3. If he isn't interested in making any changes then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what he means. Does he mean that he can see the two of you moving forward some time in the future, but he's just not ready right now? Or does he mean he doesn't see your relationship going much further than it is right now? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it's important that you find out where he's at when it comes to your relationship.
4. If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the relationship will go, you're just not on the same page when it comes to a time line, than that's actually ok. At least you both see the relationship heading in the same direction. If your guy doesn't see any future in the relationship you're going to have to face a really tough decision: stay or go. Many women will stay and think that they can change his mind, and maybe you can, but you shouldn't. Even if you can talk him (or threaten him) into moving the relationship along, is that really the best foundation for a future? You had to force someone to be with you? No so much, it'll be hard but you are better off just moving on.
Many people find themselves in a great relationship and they want to take things to the next level, whatever that may mean to them. If you want to stop dating and move up to the next level you can follow this advice to win over man you love dating and move things along a bit faster.
Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help 'push' things along:
1. Talk to him. Tell him what you want. Be careful how you approach this because you don't want to sound whiny or needy (if this is something you really want and you really feel strongly about it's easy to sound a little desperate if you're not careful). Again, don't just tell him you want to take things to the next level, be clear on what that means to you.
2. It's important that you don't push the issue. It's great to bring it up after all, you can't expect him to read your mind can you? You just have to make sure that you're going to be able to accept whatever he wants without getting upset. If the two of you have been together for a while and this topic has never come up it's almost a sure bet that he isn't interested in taking things to the next level, if he were he would have already brought it up (of course, it's possible that he's just shy or afraid to bring it up because he didn't know what you'd say and he got scared).
3. If he isn't interested in making any changes then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what he means. Does he mean that he can see the two of you moving forward some time in the future, but he's just not ready right now? Or does he mean he doesn't see your relationship going much further than it is right now? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it's important that you find out where he's at when it comes to your relationship.
4. If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the relationship will go, you're just not on the same page when it comes to a time line, than that's actually ok. At least you both see the relationship heading in the same direction. If your guy doesn't see any future in the relationship you're going to have to face a really tough decision: stay or go. Many women will stay and think that they can change his mind, and maybe you can, but you shouldn't. Even if you can talk him (or threaten him) into moving the relationship along, is that really the best foundation for a future? You had to force someone to be with you? No so much, it'll be hard but you are better off just moving on.
Many people find themselves in a great relationship and they want to take things to the next level, whatever that may mean to them. If you want to stop dating and move up to the next level you can follow this advice to win over man you love dating and move things along a bit faster.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Love Me Again - Who Knows
If you and your girl have been together for a while you may find that the excitement is gone and you're just not sure she even loves you anymore. At times like these the one thing that keeps going through your mind is: how can I get my girlfriend to love me again? The truth is that this situation can be very common in any longer term relationship. Just because your girl isn't as affectionate as she once doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't still love you. The two of you can regain what you've lost.
Over time people change. We all do. The problem is that when it comes to a relationship two people may not change in the same way. For example, if you and your girl loved to party every night of the week, but lately she just doesn't seem that interested, yet you still want to go, this is a classic sign of two people who are maturing at different rates. In a case like this there may not be anything you can do. It might be best to just end the relationship and find someone who shares your interests.
Sometimes though the changes may be unsettling but they don't have to be deal breakers. If you and your girl can talk and find some common ground you can not only re- ignite the passion in your relationship you can also find great new ways to spend time together.
Sometimes it's best to start at the beginning, as much as possible. More than likely you've changed since you and your girl have been together, and maybe not in good ways. Take stock of the way you act and the way you treat her. Can you honestly say that it's the same as it was when the two of you first met? Do you still do all the little things (hold the door, tell her you love her, compliment the way she looks, etc.) that you used to do? If not, why not? She would still like to hear that.
Have you gotten lazy? Do you still workout the way you did when the two of you first met? Do you like to go out and do the things the two of you used to do, or do you just want to lounge on the couch and watch t.v.? She might simply be getting bored with you if you've become a slug.
When the two of you first met did you have a lot of dreams and ambitions? Do you still? If not, you may have lost some of the passion you had for life and that may have been one of the things she found so attractive about you when you first met. It might be good for you and your relationship to find some of that passion and ambition again. You don't want to get in a rut, it's not good for you or your relationship.
If you're wondering: how can I get my girlfriend to love me again, you can start by evaluating your relationship. Honestly answering these questions can be a great way to start. Once you know the problem you'll have a much better time of coming up with solutions.
Over time people change. We all do. The problem is that when it comes to a relationship two people may not change in the same way. For example, if you and your girl loved to party every night of the week, but lately she just doesn't seem that interested, yet you still want to go, this is a classic sign of two people who are maturing at different rates. In a case like this there may not be anything you can do. It might be best to just end the relationship and find someone who shares your interests.
Sometimes though the changes may be unsettling but they don't have to be deal breakers. If you and your girl can talk and find some common ground you can not only re- ignite the passion in your relationship you can also find great new ways to spend time together.
Sometimes it's best to start at the beginning, as much as possible. More than likely you've changed since you and your girl have been together, and maybe not in good ways. Take stock of the way you act and the way you treat her. Can you honestly say that it's the same as it was when the two of you first met? Do you still do all the little things (hold the door, tell her you love her, compliment the way she looks, etc.) that you used to do? If not, why not? She would still like to hear that.
Have you gotten lazy? Do you still workout the way you did when the two of you first met? Do you like to go out and do the things the two of you used to do, or do you just want to lounge on the couch and watch t.v.? She might simply be getting bored with you if you've become a slug.
When the two of you first met did you have a lot of dreams and ambitions? Do you still? If not, you may have lost some of the passion you had for life and that may have been one of the things she found so attractive about you when you first met. It might be good for you and your relationship to find some of that passion and ambition again. You don't want to get in a rut, it's not good for you or your relationship.
If you're wondering: how can I get my girlfriend to love me again, you can start by evaluating your relationship. Honestly answering these questions can be a great way to start. Once you know the problem you'll have a much better time of coming up with solutions.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Win Back Woman You Love Dating - With Sugar And Spice
When you decide that it's time to win back woman you love dating than you're going to have to figure out the best approach, and that can vary depending on why she left. Did you end things and now you've come to the realization that you made a mistake and you've changed your mind? If so, that will require one type of approach. Did she leave you? Did you cheat? Did she cheat? All of these different scenarios will require a slightly different approach to get the best results.
For the most part, if you ended things and now you are having second thoughts it's usually best to let her know that you made a mistake. There's really no reason to wait. You broke up with her, she may still love you, time to find out. Of course, be aware that you may have to do a lot of groveling and begging, but in most cases she'll be happy to take you back (assuming you weren't a huge jackass when you ended things).
If she broke up with you just because things weren't going well, than your best approach is to give her a little space and after a period of time contact her as a friend. Try to spend time with her and have fun, remind her of the great guy she fell in love with. Don't push to get back together, take it slow. Try to forget that the two of you ever had a relationship and just act as you would when you first meet someone new. She may find that she has missed you and this reminder of how fun you are may just be the little push she needs.
If she broke up with you because you cheated, you owe it to her to make darn sure that it won't happen again. Be warned, infidelity is very very hard to get past (just take a look at all the celebrity divorces recently) Once you've trusted someone and they've betrayed you it can be almost impossible to allow yourself to trust again. This is the hardest of all the scenarios to get over, though if handled properly you may have a chance.
If infidelity or some other form of abuse was the reason behind the breakup, you may increase your shot at a reconciliation if you attend some counseling. Nothing will go further to show her that you are truly sorry and that you've truly changed than to go to counseling. And don't just make it a game either, if you've screwed up you should make changes, you can be a better man. Don't just pretend that you care and that you want to change... really care and really want to change.
So step one is to figure out why she left in the first place and then determine the best way to win back woman you love dating. No matter what you do, make sure you keep your ego out of the mix. Be straight forward and honest and if you're not sure you can commit to her and the relationship 100%, just let her go.
For the most part, if you ended things and now you are having second thoughts it's usually best to let her know that you made a mistake. There's really no reason to wait. You broke up with her, she may still love you, time to find out. Of course, be aware that you may have to do a lot of groveling and begging, but in most cases she'll be happy to take you back (assuming you weren't a huge jackass when you ended things).
If she broke up with you just because things weren't going well, than your best approach is to give her a little space and after a period of time contact her as a friend. Try to spend time with her and have fun, remind her of the great guy she fell in love with. Don't push to get back together, take it slow. Try to forget that the two of you ever had a relationship and just act as you would when you first meet someone new. She may find that she has missed you and this reminder of how fun you are may just be the little push she needs.
If she broke up with you because you cheated, you owe it to her to make darn sure that it won't happen again. Be warned, infidelity is very very hard to get past (just take a look at all the celebrity divorces recently) Once you've trusted someone and they've betrayed you it can be almost impossible to allow yourself to trust again. This is the hardest of all the scenarios to get over, though if handled properly you may have a chance.
If infidelity or some other form of abuse was the reason behind the breakup, you may increase your shot at a reconciliation if you attend some counseling. Nothing will go further to show her that you are truly sorry and that you've truly changed than to go to counseling. And don't just make it a game either, if you've screwed up you should make changes, you can be a better man. Don't just pretend that you care and that you want to change... really care and really want to change.
So step one is to figure out why she left in the first place and then determine the best way to win back woman you love dating. No matter what you do, make sure you keep your ego out of the mix. Be straight forward and honest and if you're not sure you can commit to her and the relationship 100%, just let her go.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
How Do I Get My Husband To Fall In Love With Me Again
If you want to find a way to not just save your marriage but to make it unbelievable again, like it was in the beginning (or maybe even better than it's ever been before) you are probably asking: how to get my husband to fall in love with me again, what can I do? The truth is that there are many things you can do and they will all help you with your marriage and make you a more well rounded, happier person at the same time.
Everyone changes over time. That's not a bad thing, the only thing that can be bad is if those changes aren't positive changes. If you've lost sight of the person you were when you and your husband first married you might have turned into some boring housewife without even knowing it. It's really easy to let go of some of what makes us 'us' as a relationship progresses.
When you and your husband first met you probably had a lot of friends, hobbies, work goals, etc. Do you still? If not have you gotten bitter about some of those 'lost opportunities'? Could it be that you are actually taking some of that frustration out on your husband? These are all things you need to seriously consider.
If that has happened without you realizing it, it's actually pretty easy to overcome. Just take a long look at yourself and determine if you are bringing as much to the relationship now as you did in the beginning. It might have been you that started to disconnect and your husbands coolness could simply be a result of that.
Do be careful though to not go too far the other way. While it's important to try and maintain some fun and intimacy in your relationship, especially if it was you who kind of lost track of it to begin with, it's not your sole responsibility. You and your husband have got to be equal partners in rebuilding your love and trust.
What things did you and your husband do when the two of you first got married? I realize that you can't go back in time and you might be a lot busier now with kids and careers, but there must be some elements of that earlier time that the two of you can try to recapture. Instead of a week long trip skiing how about just an overnight in a local resort town? Even if you can't get away overnight because of the kids, how about a sexy 'booty call' in the middle of the week in the afternoon (with your husband of course!)? Talk about spicing things up!
And don't forget, it's not all about sex. If the love life isn't what it used to be than you might want to try to add some more fun, but just spending time together talking and laughing about unimportant things can do wonders. For a short time forget about the kids, the bills, the careers, the new roof you need and just enjoy some time playing. When was the last time you and your husband just played and acted silly? Try it, it can do wonders for both of you.
There, you have your answer to the question: how can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? It's not that hard, just remember the fun the two of you used to have and try to have a little fun again.
Everyone changes over time. That's not a bad thing, the only thing that can be bad is if those changes aren't positive changes. If you've lost sight of the person you were when you and your husband first married you might have turned into some boring housewife without even knowing it. It's really easy to let go of some of what makes us 'us' as a relationship progresses.
When you and your husband first met you probably had a lot of friends, hobbies, work goals, etc. Do you still? If not have you gotten bitter about some of those 'lost opportunities'? Could it be that you are actually taking some of that frustration out on your husband? These are all things you need to seriously consider.
If that has happened without you realizing it, it's actually pretty easy to overcome. Just take a long look at yourself and determine if you are bringing as much to the relationship now as you did in the beginning. It might have been you that started to disconnect and your husbands coolness could simply be a result of that.
Do be careful though to not go too far the other way. While it's important to try and maintain some fun and intimacy in your relationship, especially if it was you who kind of lost track of it to begin with, it's not your sole responsibility. You and your husband have got to be equal partners in rebuilding your love and trust.
What things did you and your husband do when the two of you first got married? I realize that you can't go back in time and you might be a lot busier now with kids and careers, but there must be some elements of that earlier time that the two of you can try to recapture. Instead of a week long trip skiing how about just an overnight in a local resort town? Even if you can't get away overnight because of the kids, how about a sexy 'booty call' in the middle of the week in the afternoon (with your husband of course!)? Talk about spicing things up!
And don't forget, it's not all about sex. If the love life isn't what it used to be than you might want to try to add some more fun, but just spending time together talking and laughing about unimportant things can do wonders. For a short time forget about the kids, the bills, the careers, the new roof you need and just enjoy some time playing. When was the last time you and your husband just played and acted silly? Try it, it can do wonders for both of you.
There, you have your answer to the question: how can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? It's not that hard, just remember the fun the two of you used to have and try to have a little fun again.
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