Relationship Break Up - 2 Schools Of Thought

Breaking up is hard enough to do as it is, no one wants to have to endure a big scene where theres a lot of crying and pleading. Yuck. To find the best way to go through a relationship break up and make it as easy as possible on both of you, here are a few tips.

More than likely by the time you're ready to end the relationship you've already had enough emotional scenes to last a lifetime and just can't face the idea of another one. That's the reason that some people take the (tacky) route of leaving a voice mail message or sending a text message to breakup. While it's understandable that you'd want to avoid another scene, it's a crappy way to end a relationship.

There is a middle ground, somewhere between a tacky text message and a full on emotional assault:

1. For one thing, make darn sure you really want to breakup. Now is not the time to be wishy washy. Give it some thought and don't do it on the spur of the moment or you may just end up regretting it and eating your words. But, once you've made up your mind give yourself a day or so to get your head around it. When the times comes you have to be calm and firm and allowing yourself time to get used to the idea will help you accomplish that.

2. Now that you've decided that a breakup is the right thing to do and you've gotten used to the idea, don't drag it out forever. Decide on the best time and place, and make it soon, to have 'the talk' with your partner. When choosing the best time and place you should choose a time where you can take some time and explain things. Don't tell your best friend or anyone else until you talk to your partner, you don't want someone to slip up and say something before you've had a chance to talk to your partner, the news has to come from you.

As to the location, there are two schools of thought on that. Some people recommend a restaurant or some place public to keep the scene to a minimum. While other people think that this type of conversation should be handled in private so that your soon - to- be-ex doesn't have the added humiliation of breaking down in public. Personally, unless I were afraid for my safety, I'd go for the private location. I just think that your partner deserves that much respect.

3. When the two of you meet, don't go for the big buildup. Just say what you want to say and get it out. Make sure you explain why you've reached the decision you have (explain, don't justify. It's your decision to make you don't have to justify it). Be compassionate but firm. Don't waver in the least. Let them talk if they want, but only for a short time. It won't do either of you any good to sit through a long, uncomfortable pleading session. If they have something to say, fine, let them have their say. But if it's just one long attempt to get you to change your mind you have to pull the plug.

4. After you've done the deed, leave. Don't call them and don't accept their calls if they call you. It may sound harsh but it's far worse for you to send mixed signals and talk to them if you really don't want them in your life. Best for both of you to just move on.

A relationship break up is never a fun thing to go through, but if you have to do it, do it as compassionately, and quickly as possible. It's best for both of you.

Three Steps To Get Them Back After A Relationship Break Up

You have suffered a relationship break up, and now you are wondering if it is possible to get your ex back. This is a natural reaction, and they call it suffering through a break up with good reason.

The answer to that question is yes far more frequently than you may believe, but you need to approach things properly to have any chance of getting back together after a relationship break up.

Before you begin the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself the all-important question:"should I fix this relationship?" After a relationship break up, you will understandably be feeling lost and lonely.

This isn't a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings may lead you to brush aside the very real troubles that lead to the relationship falling apart in the first place.

But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it is time to take the correct steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

You need to take a planned and measured approach, though, and not just go charging right in. You would not run on a broken leg, and you need to take the same sort of care in healing after a relationship break up.

Step One: Date Somebody Else

I recognize this appears like weird advice when you are trying to get your ex back, but this is a really useful step. The keyword here is date; this isn't an invitation to begin a full-fledged romance.

But dating others will serve two uses. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you are not thinking about them and are thing about your date, then this is a sign that you might be moving on.

The other reason is that it will give you some space to contemplation on your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you'll need to do the following step.

Step Two: Know what went wrong

The cliché is that people that do not know that their history is doomed to repeat itself. This is seldom more true than in repairing a broken relationship. If you do not know precisely what failed, you will not be capable to fix it, so it's really crucial that you figure out where things failed so that you are able to navigate around the reasons for your relationship break up.

Step Three: Use a Light Touch

Begin slowly and do not rush things. Don't, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately return to the good old days before the relationship break up. You need to view this as starting all over, and you need to let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will put your ex off quicker than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

While this article will certainly begin you on the road to winning them back after a relationship break up, you might still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, do not hesitate to seek the advice that will assist you get back to the place where you were happy.