Showing posts with label can this marriage be saved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label can this marriage be saved. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Can This Marriage Be Saved

When in a marriage you can face a lot of ups and downs, it is during these down periods that your marriage will be strained. If things continue to be bad you may find yourself wondering can this marriage be saved? A lot of marriages end in divorce for a variety of reasons, but the most common one is that the couple simply did not work out.

If you really want to save your marriage you need to take the steps to fix what is broken. If you let it just sit and hope for the best, nothing will happen. However if you actively try to make things work then there are some tips that can help you.

1. Communication.
Communication is extremely important, but also one of the things a lot of relationships lack. Instead of openly talking with one another, one or both parties will keep their emotions bottled up and keep their problems to themselves.

The problem is that these emotions do not stay bottled up, and often erupt during arguments and fights. When this happens the other party feels blindsided and hurt, which just escalates the conflict. Instead of letting this happen, just talk your problems out.

2. Compromise.
When wondering can this marriage be saved, one great method you can use to ensure it's survival is to simply compromise. It is something we are taught to do since childhood and it is the most important during a marriage. You are two individuals with individual thoughts and desires, so you will not agree on everything. This is why it is so important to come to a compromise so that both parties can be happy.

3. Keep calm and go slow.
When trying to fix the problems in your marriage always remember to keep a cool head about you. Nothing will come from getting mad and screaming and yelling like a fool. Instead remain calm and in control so that you can make the proper decisions. As well, take things slow. If you try to rush and push your fixes, it will backfire and just make things work. Rome was not built in a day and your marriage will not be fixed in a day.

4. Forgive and forget
. It is important to let things go in a marriage. You will always have your arguments and disagreements, what determines how much they impact your marriage is how big of a deal you make out of these arguments. Instead of clinging to past mistakes and fights, let them go and move on.

5. Set goals. When wondering can this marriage be saved, a good idea is to set you and your spouse some goals. having something to actively strive for can make it easier to fix what is broken.

6. If all else fails, see a counselor. If you have tried everything you can think of and your marriage is still spiraling down the drain, then seek professional assistance. Marriage counselors are trained to help couples reconcile their problems, so using them to help you out may just be what is needed to save your marriage.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Can This Marriage Be Saved - Perhaps

If you find that your relationship with your spouse is in a lot of trouble, you have probably asked yourself "can this marriage be saved?" No matter how bad it may seem, the answer is that it most likely can be saved. Even though the divorce rate is far too high, virtually every marriage can be salvaged, as long as the couple is willing to do whatever it takes.

However, there may be some marriages that are not worth saving, at least not in their current state. If you are in a marriage that is mentally or physically abusive, then asking if it can be saved is not the right question. Then you need to ask if you can be saved from the relationship. It's not easy, but it is critical that you get out. Perhaps your spouse will change, but you need to make sure, and see solid proof before you give them a second chance. Luckily, such exceptions make up only a small fraction of all marriages.

So, back to the question of whether or not your marriage can be saved. Well, it can only be saved if you want it to be saved. And, the fact that you are reading this is a good sign. However, take some time to seriously reflect upon whether or not you really want it to be saved. It's okay to answer no, so long as you answer honestly and after plenty of thought. Either way, something as important as a marriage shouldn't be taken lightly.

Now, if you have given it enough thought, and decided that you still love your spouse, and that you would like to stay married, then you are already on the right path to making it work. And it will take work. It's better to be up front about it, than it is to give you false pretenses and say it will be easy. It will take commitment and effort, but most things worthwhile do.

The first thing you have to do is talk to your spouse. You need to let them know that you think your marriage is in trouble. They will either agree, or have no idea whatsoever. But you need to open the lines of communication on the issue if you want to move forward.

Note your spouse's reaction as you bring up the subject. Are they shocked, sad, angry, hurt or confused? Whichever it is, respond accordingly. This will be your first opportunity to show you care about your spouse and keeping your marriage together. You have to remember that you are most likely catching your spouse off guard so try to be understanding of their feelings.

The next step is to commit to making things work out. You will also need to have your spouse's commitment to do the same thing. Granted, you may have to explain your reasons for why you're asking can this marriage be saved, and let them know you would like it to be saved.