Relationship breakups can be tough on both the person being broken up, and the person doing the breaking up. You put all that time and effort into building a relationship just to have it all come crashing down. It is understandable that you will have troubled emotions over it.
However there are things you should keep in mind when ending a relationship. There is a lot of advice out there to help you through the trouble times regardless of which side of the break up you are on.
Try to remember that regardless of why you and your partner broke up, you both cared for each other at one time and you both deserve respect and decency. It is best to try and end a relationship on good terms, but if you do not end it on good terms it is probably best to simply avoid contact with your ex.
It sounds pretty obvious but a lot of people make the mistake of trying to stay in contact with their ex. This is especially true for the one who got dumped. If they broke up with you, as much as it hurts, just let them go. All you do by contacting them is annoy them and cause further friction.
Not only does that bother them, but it only causes more grief for you. Time heals all wounds but if you keep that wound open, it will never heal. So try to just move on with your life and move past the tough times.
Also try to stop and think about your relationship. Why did they break up with you? Or why did you break up with them? Try to find the reasons why your relationship failed so you can avoid making those same mistakes in the future.
If your partner is at fault (and try to be honest with yourself here) then make sure to find out what they did wrong so you can avoid those qualities in the next person you meet. If you are at fault try to work on improving those qualities so history does not repeat itself.
It is also advisable to take a little time off after a break up. Leave town and spend the weekend away having fun. This can help take your mind off all the negative emotions and help you clear your head. Sulking over the break up does not do you any good and it just prolongs the healing process.
After that you may want to put your focus into a hobby. You probably wont feel like dating again any time soon so it could be a great help to find something else to occupy your mind. If you can find a fun hobby that you can engross yourself in, it can help you put aside the hurt from relaionship breakups and allow you to get on with your life.
Lastly, try to avoid gossiping about your ex. Regardless of why you broke up they still deserve respect and all you do by gossiping about them is make yourself look bad. Try to end your relationship with dignity and grace, hold your head high and simply keep on moving forward.
Showing posts with label Relationship Breakups. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship Breakups. Show all posts
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, September 3, 2010
Relationship Breakups Stink - No Ifs Or Buts
Finding the best ways of handling relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.
There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.
1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be hurting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life. Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.
2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think they were fun before this pain started). Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can. It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.
One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.
Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.
There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.
1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be hurting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life. Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.
2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think they were fun before this pain started). Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can. It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.
One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.
Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Relationship Breakups What You Need To Know
Relationship breakups are a terrible thing, and are crushing for most people. What most people want, more than anything else, is to find somebody to spend their lives with, somebody who will always be there for you. Thinking you've this and then losing it is among the worst events most people will suffer in their life.
After relationship breakups, people tend to suffer from the same sort of emotional healing process that people who have suffered the death of a loved one. This Is not surprising, because the death of a relationship is very much like the death of somebody. But contrary to the death of an individual, sometimes something could be done to take back the death of a relationship.
Relationship breakups don't have to be forever in a lot of cases. Far more relationships could be saved than those that are permanently demolished. What you've to know and understand is the various kinds of relationship breakups that exists and what you are able to do about them.
This article is going to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationship breakups and what strategies you will need to undertake to fix them. Not all relationships could be repaired, and not all of them should be, but most of them can. You just need to know the right formulas for each sort of breakup.
The Abusive Relationship Breakups
This is a breakup that should stay a break up. Different than the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. There's a chance that you might be considering returning to somebody who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this sort of breakup. No one should take being abused.
The Mutual Breakup
Occasionally, both people in the relationship might want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is genuinely a mutual breakup, there's a good chance that this is another relationship that should not be amended. Then again, if it was just called a relationship and was actually one of the next two varieties of relationship breakups, that's another matter altogether.
They Broke Up with You
This is generally the most hurtful sort of break up. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly how come the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what failed is something you may or should fix. If it's something you are able to and should fix, then this needs to be your starting point.
You Broke Up with Them
Occasionally, we break up with people and then realize we have thrown away something good. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is restore trust. This means that you are going to essentially begin the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.
Disregardless which of the relationship breakups you have underwent, you need to be aware that assistance is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship with your ex.
After relationship breakups, people tend to suffer from the same sort of emotional healing process that people who have suffered the death of a loved one. This Is not surprising, because the death of a relationship is very much like the death of somebody. But contrary to the death of an individual, sometimes something could be done to take back the death of a relationship.
Relationship breakups don't have to be forever in a lot of cases. Far more relationships could be saved than those that are permanently demolished. What you've to know and understand is the various kinds of relationship breakups that exists and what you are able to do about them.
This article is going to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationship breakups and what strategies you will need to undertake to fix them. Not all relationships could be repaired, and not all of them should be, but most of them can. You just need to know the right formulas for each sort of breakup.
The Abusive Relationship Breakups
This is a breakup that should stay a break up. Different than the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. There's a chance that you might be considering returning to somebody who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this sort of breakup. No one should take being abused.
The Mutual Breakup
Occasionally, both people in the relationship might want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is genuinely a mutual breakup, there's a good chance that this is another relationship that should not be amended. Then again, if it was just called a relationship and was actually one of the next two varieties of relationship breakups, that's another matter altogether.
They Broke Up with You
This is generally the most hurtful sort of break up. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly how come the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what failed is something you may or should fix. If it's something you are able to and should fix, then this needs to be your starting point.
You Broke Up with Them
Occasionally, we break up with people and then realize we have thrown away something good. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is restore trust. This means that you are going to essentially begin the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.
Disregardless which of the relationship breakups you have underwent, you need to be aware that assistance is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship with your ex.
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