Is It Possible To Save My Marriage?

Is it possible to save my marriage? If you're in what feels like a loveless marriage or you're already at the point of separation and/or divorce, you may very well be asking yourself this question. Often times, only one person in the marriage is thinking this question. The other either doesn't even realize there is something wrong, or just wants out altogether. If you are thinking that you need to start working on your marriage because it feels like it's in a downward plunge, or you want to get your marriage back, then here are a few tips you can use.
The first step in order to be able to answer your question of "Will I be able to save my marriage?", is to take a step back from it. Try to analyze your situation objectively, without all the emotions. This is hard, and it is probably harder if you are still in the marriage but do the best you can. Write things down. Try to figure out turning points, mistakes, what went wrong, and how you could have possibly avoided it. If you have already split with your husband or wife, minimize contact as much as possible so that you can have the time to get a more objective perspective. This is not about blaming, but rather about assessing the situation so try to do this without placing blame on yourself or on your spouse. When you are doing this, try to pick out the real reasons for problems, not the symptoms. For example, if one of you cheated, that is not really the problem, but the result of an underlying problem, or several of them. Of course, that just adds to all the problems because a relationship is based on trust, and cheating really violates that. But there were other issues that lead to the cheating as well. You may also want to see a counselor or therapist who can help you determine some of the problems and give you an unbiased viewpoint.
After the "assessment phase" comes the time for action. This is where you should speak to your spouse about what you've been analyzing. This is most likely not going to be fun so gear up for some opposition and prepare to be strong. You of course want to listen what he or she has to say, but make sure that your voice is heard too. Also be prepared to change your mind if your spouse brings up something that you hadn't realized or thought of. This is not particularly enjoyable, but at least you are communicating. And communication is the key to all relationships, whether it be marriage, friendship, work, etc. Continue to communicate. If it seems that you are continuously butting heads over every little point, and neither of you is willing to listen or give in, then the answer to the question of "Is it possible to save my marriage" might be no. But if you see even a little bit of progress, hold on to that and make it work.