This is not intended to be a discussion on the Bible, or anything religious, but I'd like raise a specific point. According to the Bible, there are only two acceptable reasons for divorce, and one of those is a cheating spouse. The point is that infidelity is a serious offense. Conventional wisdom states that people should split up if one of them has been unfaithful. It doesn't have to be that way if both parties are willing to do what it takes. Restoring trust in relationships isn't easy, but it can be done. Here are some ideas on how to make that happen.
The main thing to keep in mind as you go through the process of restoring trust is that it requires changes in the actions and attitudes of both people in the relationship. Even after something as serious an affair, a relationship can be saved. The key is start with small amount of trust, and continuing to build on it.
Before you can start rebuilding trust, you need to take an honest look at what went wrong. Our natural tendency is to blame the other person, and they are likely at fault to some extent, but the only person you have total control over is yourself; therefore, you need to get to the root of what you may have done to end the relationship. Once you find the source of the problem, you can take steps to fix it.
For example, if your partner had an affair, what was it that they were seeking from someone else? What was it that you weren't providing? You will need to improve these things if you want to have a future together. Don't get me wrong, it's never right to cheat, but we are trying to restore a relationship and work on trust. While you can't undo the past, you can certainly create a better future.
The next step is to start actually gaining some trust again. One of the best things you can do is assume the other person is being honest. By doing this, you will get trust in return. Of course, that is easy to say, but much harder in practice. So, the trick here is to take small steps. Tell your significant other that you will be home by 7:00 PM, then be home by 7:00 PM (or a little early if at all possible). It doesn't have to be anything big, just start demonstrating your ability to stick to your word.
Over time, these small steps start to accumulate and build on one another. But, you must keep doing it, and always follow through on what you say you're going to do. Excuses will not cut it at this point. In fact, if there is any possibility, any doubt in your mind at all, then it's better to not say anything at all.
Restoring trust in relationships is not an easy task. And the more severe the reason for the lack of trust, the harder it will be to regain it. Keep your focus on trust, and keep taking those small steps, and before you know it, you will be happy again.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Help - What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. Falling out of love is a miserable feeling. After a break up, it's perfectly natural to ask a question like, "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?" It is also natural to ponder on all of things that went wrong and what you could have done better. This thinking then leads to thoughts of begging, apologizing or otherwise begging your case until your former loved one is ready to take you back.
However, even though these things may play a part in getting back together, and definitely seem logical, they frequently lead nowhere. None of the methods mentioned earlier get to the root cause of the break up. That's why they aren't enough to patch things up. The not-so-good news is that uncovering the real reasons behind a break up can be difficult. So, do your best to dig deep and find out what really went wrong, but also realize that the true causes may remain hidden. If that's the case, don't worry, there are still steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back, though it may be a bit more complicated.
Forget about it! About what? About her, about your relationship, about the idea of getting back together. At least for now. You both need the space and time to come to terms with what has happened. Do not expend any energy on making up, at least not yet. Hang out with your friends (if they're single, so much the better), pursue a new hobby, or throw yourself into a project at work. Whatever it takes to stop you from focusing on your relationship. Unfortunately, you can't predict how long this step will take. The best advice, then, is to not force it, and you will know when the time is right to move on to the next step.
Now that you have a cushion of time and space you have something you desperately need: Perspective. You will now have to do your best to be objective, and ask yourself if you really want to get back with your ex. See, that's why you need time. If you try to answer this question too soon after breaking up, then you won't get an accurate answer. Assuming you decide that you would like to get your ex back, you can go to the following step.
The final part of answering the question "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to contact her and start making things right. The secret here is to not be too forceful, to not overdo. If you waited long enough, she has had enough time to sort things out as well. When you finally meet again, talk things over calmly. Admit any wrongdoing, but remain positive and solution oriented. A negative mood will lead to arguments, and decrease your chances of getting back together. While you can't change the past, you can learn from it and do what needs to be done to have a happy future together.
However, even though these things may play a part in getting back together, and definitely seem logical, they frequently lead nowhere. None of the methods mentioned earlier get to the root cause of the break up. That's why they aren't enough to patch things up. The not-so-good news is that uncovering the real reasons behind a break up can be difficult. So, do your best to dig deep and find out what really went wrong, but also realize that the true causes may remain hidden. If that's the case, don't worry, there are still steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back, though it may be a bit more complicated.
Forget about it! About what? About her, about your relationship, about the idea of getting back together. At least for now. You both need the space and time to come to terms with what has happened. Do not expend any energy on making up, at least not yet. Hang out with your friends (if they're single, so much the better), pursue a new hobby, or throw yourself into a project at work. Whatever it takes to stop you from focusing on your relationship. Unfortunately, you can't predict how long this step will take. The best advice, then, is to not force it, and you will know when the time is right to move on to the next step.
Now that you have a cushion of time and space you have something you desperately need: Perspective. You will now have to do your best to be objective, and ask yourself if you really want to get back with your ex. See, that's why you need time. If you try to answer this question too soon after breaking up, then you won't get an accurate answer. Assuming you decide that you would like to get your ex back, you can go to the following step.
The final part of answering the question "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to contact her and start making things right. The secret here is to not be too forceful, to not overdo. If you waited long enough, she has had enough time to sort things out as well. When you finally meet again, talk things over calmly. Admit any wrongdoing, but remain positive and solution oriented. A negative mood will lead to arguments, and decrease your chances of getting back together. While you can't change the past, you can learn from it and do what needs to be done to have a happy future together.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Relationship Advice for Men - It's Evolutionary
So much different relationship advice for men is out there that it can be difficult to figure out what really works. So, what do men need to know if they are interested in a more relationship? The most important bit of advice is to look at what women really want, based on their actions, as opposed to assuming what they say is 100% accurate.
The question then becomes one of being able to identify what their actions are. And the best way to do that is to observe the type of men they end up, regardless of what they say they want. While women may say they want a sensitive man with a good sense of humor, and one that listens; they go out with men who aren't sensitive, make plenty of money, dominate conversations, and may or may not be all that funny.
The reason why women do this may surprise you. It's not because they don't know what they really want, it's because they don't know that they know what they really want. Okay, that may sound confusing, but it isn't. What we are talking about is the subconscious mind, and that's where the best relationship advice for men comes from.
It all comes down to one thing: The propagation of the species. This has been the underlying factor since the dawn of humanity, and its power is found in both men and women. While having children with a particular man may be the furthest thing from her mind (as far as she knows), deep down in the subconscious, she is evaluating mates for their ability to be a good father for her potential family.
We then get back to the things women say they want. Does having a good sense of humor mean he will be a strong protector and bread winner for the family? Not really. And it's the sense of security and ability to provide food for the family that the subconscious is most concerned with.
Let's take a quick look at biology to see why this is so important. Men have the ability to reproduce for, in theory, from the onset of puberty until they die; that's a big window of opportunity. On the other hand, women have a much smaller window in which they can viably reproduce. Therefore, women can't afford to gamble, and need a partner that will be able to provide for the long-term.
In today's world, these deep-seated desires manifest themselves in various ways. In past centuries women may have dreamt of marrying royalty, as they were the ultimate providers. Today, princes and kings have been replaced by athletes, celebrities and rock stars. Another bit of evidence is the engagement ring. It not only shows that the man has the ability to provide, but also that he is will to share the fruits of his labor (and you thought it was simply romantic).
So, when it comes to relationship advice for men, don't worry about all the static and conflicting viewpoints. All you really need to do is dig down to the subconscious level to see what women really want, no matter what they think they want.
The question then becomes one of being able to identify what their actions are. And the best way to do that is to observe the type of men they end up, regardless of what they say they want. While women may say they want a sensitive man with a good sense of humor, and one that listens; they go out with men who aren't sensitive, make plenty of money, dominate conversations, and may or may not be all that funny.
The reason why women do this may surprise you. It's not because they don't know what they really want, it's because they don't know that they know what they really want. Okay, that may sound confusing, but it isn't. What we are talking about is the subconscious mind, and that's where the best relationship advice for men comes from.
It all comes down to one thing: The propagation of the species. This has been the underlying factor since the dawn of humanity, and its power is found in both men and women. While having children with a particular man may be the furthest thing from her mind (as far as she knows), deep down in the subconscious, she is evaluating mates for their ability to be a good father for her potential family.
We then get back to the things women say they want. Does having a good sense of humor mean he will be a strong protector and bread winner for the family? Not really. And it's the sense of security and ability to provide food for the family that the subconscious is most concerned with.
Let's take a quick look at biology to see why this is so important. Men have the ability to reproduce for, in theory, from the onset of puberty until they die; that's a big window of opportunity. On the other hand, women have a much smaller window in which they can viably reproduce. Therefore, women can't afford to gamble, and need a partner that will be able to provide for the long-term.
In today's world, these deep-seated desires manifest themselves in various ways. In past centuries women may have dreamt of marrying royalty, as they were the ultimate providers. Today, princes and kings have been replaced by athletes, celebrities and rock stars. Another bit of evidence is the engagement ring. It not only shows that the man has the ability to provide, but also that he is will to share the fruits of his labor (and you thought it was simply romantic).
So, when it comes to relationship advice for men, don't worry about all the static and conflicting viewpoints. All you really need to do is dig down to the subconscious level to see what women really want, no matter what they think they want.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Write Your Own Heartbroken Poem Your Own To Heal
There are few things that compare to being in a happy, loving relationship. Being able to share your life with somebody else is on of the highlights of our existence. But, if you have ever broken up with somebody, then you know that the reverse is also true; being alone is heartbreaking.
Writing a poem as the result of being heartbroken isn't all that uncommon. Perhaps you have written them in other situations where you have been sad about something, such as the loss of a family member or pet, leaving friends behind or other events. Although it seems that nothing else inspires the writing of such sad poetry as a divorce or break up.
Why do people turn to poetry? Because it is such a special method of self-expression. Also, as long as you aren't worried about being published, you can write whatever you choose. No need to worry about how good it is.
There's also no need to understand the rules of different poetic forms. Forget meter and rhyming schemes and all of the other conventions of academic poetry. The goal is to feel better, not get a good grade. You are expressing yourself, not trying to conform. On the other hand, some people like the rules, and find it helps them to better share their feelings on paper.
To get over the pain of a break up it is vital to face the pain head on as soon as possible. You may want to run away from the situation or try to avoid the pain, but it will not go away on its own - it needs to be confronted. This can be difficult, and writing things down in the form of a heartbroken poem can help get you on the right path to feeling better after breaking up with somebody you cared deeply about.
So how do you do it? Just start writing. Use imagery and special words that capture how you feel, or use simple words in a simple way. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
You are doing this for your benefit. Do not try to write like the classic poets of centuries gone by. Be you. If you like, you can ever write everything down in a prose style, and then go through and make it more poetic. Whatever works for you.
Now that you have one poem done, write another one, then another. Explore different parts of your painful experience. Don't wallow in your pity...get it out of your system. While it may seem like you are just writing words, many people find writing poetry to be a very emotional experience. At the same time it can also be cathartic. Leading you from pain to happiness as you write more and more.
You do not ever have to share, but if you feel you would like to, or that it could help others, then by all means, go ahead and share. You can show them to people directly or post them online. Furthermore, if you want it, some sites will let others critique your work. But when it comes to your heartbroken poem it's up to you.
Writing a poem as the result of being heartbroken isn't all that uncommon. Perhaps you have written them in other situations where you have been sad about something, such as the loss of a family member or pet, leaving friends behind or other events. Although it seems that nothing else inspires the writing of such sad poetry as a divorce or break up.
Why do people turn to poetry? Because it is such a special method of self-expression. Also, as long as you aren't worried about being published, you can write whatever you choose. No need to worry about how good it is.
There's also no need to understand the rules of different poetic forms. Forget meter and rhyming schemes and all of the other conventions of academic poetry. The goal is to feel better, not get a good grade. You are expressing yourself, not trying to conform. On the other hand, some people like the rules, and find it helps them to better share their feelings on paper.
To get over the pain of a break up it is vital to face the pain head on as soon as possible. You may want to run away from the situation or try to avoid the pain, but it will not go away on its own - it needs to be confronted. This can be difficult, and writing things down in the form of a heartbroken poem can help get you on the right path to feeling better after breaking up with somebody you cared deeply about.
So how do you do it? Just start writing. Use imagery and special words that capture how you feel, or use simple words in a simple way. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
You are doing this for your benefit. Do not try to write like the classic poets of centuries gone by. Be you. If you like, you can ever write everything down in a prose style, and then go through and make it more poetic. Whatever works for you.
Now that you have one poem done, write another one, then another. Explore different parts of your painful experience. Don't wallow in your pity...get it out of your system. While it may seem like you are just writing words, many people find writing poetry to be a very emotional experience. At the same time it can also be cathartic. Leading you from pain to happiness as you write more and more.
You do not ever have to share, but if you feel you would like to, or that it could help others, then by all means, go ahead and share. You can show them to people directly or post them online. Furthermore, if you want it, some sites will let others critique your work. But when it comes to your heartbroken poem it's up to you.
6 Sure Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship
If there is one thing that is vital to any successful relationship, it's trust. It makes sense to do what you can to improve trust if you want to be a happy couple. The funny thing is that the things we often think will work end up having the opposite effect. So, what can you do? You can start by following any of the following six tips to help you build trust in a relationship.
1- "Spice things up?" That's what your well-meaning friends will try to tell you do at the first sign of trouble. While this may work in some cases, it may not be the best course of action if you are trying to gain more trust. What often works is being predictable. That's because it goes hand in hand with expectations. It's easier to trust somebody if you have some idea of what they will do in certain situations. That's what we're talking about here. You don't have to be a boring, mindless machine, but do try to have some level of predictability.
2 - Congruity. What's that? That's just a fancy way of saying that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. No matter how good you think you are at saying something, if you don't really feel that way your body language won't match. Criminologists who specialize in lie detection are trained to spot these incongruities. If they can do it, how much better will your partner be at it? After all, they know you much better. Nobody likes a phony. So be sure your body language matches your words if you want to build trust in a relationship.
3 - Give to get. Ever wish your partner would trust you more? There's one sure way to make that happen, and it's by trusting them first. It doesn't matter if you think you're more trustworthy or not. It is incredibly difficult to trust somebody who doesn't trust you. Believe in your partner. Try to catch your significant other telling the truth, and also operate from the expectation that they are telling the truth in the first place. It will help, and keep things running more smoothly.
4 - Be an open book. Keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty and is counterproductive to building trust. If it helps, assume your partner will find out eventually anyway; so they may as well learn the truth from you. Simple.
5 - What do you need? Your partner isn't a mind reader. You have to be clear as to what your needs are, as to what you want, and so on. It's also important to assert yourself when you need to. Again, don't leave it to your partner to guess. They will usually be wrong and will lead to a loss of trust.
6 - Grow as a couple. Just like a garden, a relationship needs the right kind of care and cultivation for it to be bountiful Go through new experiences, good or bad, together. Be there for each other. By doing this you will deepen the level of trust in your relationship. Decide that it is indeed important to build trust in a relationship and work together to make it happen. You will be a stronger, happier couple as a result.
1- "Spice things up?" That's what your well-meaning friends will try to tell you do at the first sign of trouble. While this may work in some cases, it may not be the best course of action if you are trying to gain more trust. What often works is being predictable. That's because it goes hand in hand with expectations. It's easier to trust somebody if you have some idea of what they will do in certain situations. That's what we're talking about here. You don't have to be a boring, mindless machine, but do try to have some level of predictability.
2 - Congruity. What's that? That's just a fancy way of saying that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. No matter how good you think you are at saying something, if you don't really feel that way your body language won't match. Criminologists who specialize in lie detection are trained to spot these incongruities. If they can do it, how much better will your partner be at it? After all, they know you much better. Nobody likes a phony. So be sure your body language matches your words if you want to build trust in a relationship.
3 - Give to get. Ever wish your partner would trust you more? There's one sure way to make that happen, and it's by trusting them first. It doesn't matter if you think you're more trustworthy or not. It is incredibly difficult to trust somebody who doesn't trust you. Believe in your partner. Try to catch your significant other telling the truth, and also operate from the expectation that they are telling the truth in the first place. It will help, and keep things running more smoothly.
4 - Be an open book. Keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty and is counterproductive to building trust. If it helps, assume your partner will find out eventually anyway; so they may as well learn the truth from you. Simple.
5 - What do you need? Your partner isn't a mind reader. You have to be clear as to what your needs are, as to what you want, and so on. It's also important to assert yourself when you need to. Again, don't leave it to your partner to guess. They will usually be wrong and will lead to a loss of trust.
6 - Grow as a couple. Just like a garden, a relationship needs the right kind of care and cultivation for it to be bountiful Go through new experiences, good or bad, together. Be there for each other. By doing this you will deepen the level of trust in your relationship. Decide that it is indeed important to build trust in a relationship and work together to make it happen. You will be a stronger, happier couple as a result.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
How To Find The Best Books On Relationships
The ideal relationship is hard to come by. Nobody's perfect, so even the best of intentions aren't always enough to keep two people together. If your relationship is on shaky ground, or you've recently split up, then you may be interested in books on relationships. They are among the most popular categories of books, and tons of new titles are thrust upon consumers on a regular basis. So, how can you choose what the best books on relationships are? Good question, let's see if we can answer it.
To begin with, don't let a series of letters after the author's name impress you. All the letters mean is that they have earned a degree of some kind (assuming they credentials are legitimate). It doesn't mean automatically mean they understand relationships. Sure, they may understand what a text book says, and what the leading theories are, but that's not the same as practical experience. That expertise doesn't mean all that much when it comes to real people.
Instead of looking at all the abbreviations after their names, you should try to look for their life experience. How long have they been in a relationship? Did they go through a rough time and then fix it? Have they helped others? Do they offer proof? A quick way to find out is to read the author bio near the front or back of the book and see if these things are mentioned.
This next method for finding the best books on relationships is harder, but worthwhile if you are able to do it. But the books that aren't the same idea re-written in twenty different ways. Some books are so filled with fluff, when they could be summed up in one sentence like, "be nice to each other". Such products aren't worth the money or time it takes to read them. What you need are books that offer new information, and several different solutions. Another way of looking at it is specific steps are better than vague generalities.
Finally, take a look at those who are recommending any of the books you are interested in. Do they have an air of generality about them? Do they all sort of sound the same, maybe written by the same person? Do they mention actual situations and results? Read the recommendations and see how they all add up. Also, see if the people making the comments are from different backgrounds and located in different places.
You will get some idea by the words they use and how they use them. The idea is that the more wide-ranging the happy readers are, the more likely the book will be right for you.
The sad truth is that there are a lot of poorly written books and guides on staying together or getting back together. Don't let that thought discourage you, though. There are plenty of titles counted among the best books on relationships. If you don't find one right away, keep trying, it's worth it.
To begin with, don't let a series of letters after the author's name impress you. All the letters mean is that they have earned a degree of some kind (assuming they credentials are legitimate). It doesn't mean automatically mean they understand relationships. Sure, they may understand what a text book says, and what the leading theories are, but that's not the same as practical experience. That expertise doesn't mean all that much when it comes to real people.
Instead of looking at all the abbreviations after their names, you should try to look for their life experience. How long have they been in a relationship? Did they go through a rough time and then fix it? Have they helped others? Do they offer proof? A quick way to find out is to read the author bio near the front or back of the book and see if these things are mentioned.
This next method for finding the best books on relationships is harder, but worthwhile if you are able to do it. But the books that aren't the same idea re-written in twenty different ways. Some books are so filled with fluff, when they could be summed up in one sentence like, "be nice to each other". Such products aren't worth the money or time it takes to read them. What you need are books that offer new information, and several different solutions. Another way of looking at it is specific steps are better than vague generalities.
Finally, take a look at those who are recommending any of the books you are interested in. Do they have an air of generality about them? Do they all sort of sound the same, maybe written by the same person? Do they mention actual situations and results? Read the recommendations and see how they all add up. Also, see if the people making the comments are from different backgrounds and located in different places.
You will get some idea by the words they use and how they use them. The idea is that the more wide-ranging the happy readers are, the more likely the book will be right for you.
The sad truth is that there are a lot of poorly written books and guides on staying together or getting back together. Don't let that thought discourage you, though. There are plenty of titles counted among the best books on relationships. If you don't find one right away, keep trying, it's worth it.
5 Best Ways To Get Back At Your Ex
The relationship between two people is a delicate bond. A bond that requires building up and maintenance for the relationship to flourish and be healthy. The sad fact is that breaking up is a reality and is often frustrating, stressful and nerve wracking. After a break up it is perfectly normal for you to want to get back at your ex.
However, you need to ask yourself if that's really the best thing to do. The art of getting back at your ex can actually lead to getting back together with your ex. By applying the following five tips, your ex may appreciate you more, and want to get back together with you.
1) Stay strong. The last thing you want to do is beg. Acting needy and clingy smacks of hopeless desperation, and is more of a turn off than anything. Also, by being weak you will be giving more power to your ex, and that tends to make things worse. Instead, give your ex the impression that you are doing fine without them by staying strong. Perhaps your ex will realize you have moved on, but they weren't as ready to split as they first thought.
2) Reduce communication. What? You may be wondering how not talking to each other could ever help you get your ex back. It seems so counterintuitive. But in the long run, it can be a smart move. It gives both parties a chance to cool down and reassess what went wrong. Additionally, it gives your ex more time to miss you. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in this case and can lead to being together again.
3) Flexibility is vital. Avoid ultimatums and demands. Instead of arguing, try sympathizing and listening. Go with the flow and be flexible. Your ex may be happy to see that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable. This alone may be enough get them thinking about being a couple again. Plus, it shows them that you don't always have to argue. (Now, how did I know you have argued in the past?)
4) Go out! Look, you broke up...everybody gets that. But that doesn't mean you need to wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from your friends and having a good time. Go out. Live a little. Have fun. Be with friends. You don't need to start dating to prove a point, just have a good time. Not only will doing this be therapeutic, it will also make you look better in the eyes of your ex.
5) Be yourself. That's all. Just be who you are. Chances are that your ex was originally attracted to some element, or elements of who you really are. Be confident in being whoever you are. Nobody likes a phony, and your ex, in time, may respond to the same things they found so appealing when they first met you. Mending those broken bonds are a sure way to get your ex back for good.
However, you need to ask yourself if that's really the best thing to do. The art of getting back at your ex can actually lead to getting back together with your ex. By applying the following five tips, your ex may appreciate you more, and want to get back together with you.
1) Stay strong. The last thing you want to do is beg. Acting needy and clingy smacks of hopeless desperation, and is more of a turn off than anything. Also, by being weak you will be giving more power to your ex, and that tends to make things worse. Instead, give your ex the impression that you are doing fine without them by staying strong. Perhaps your ex will realize you have moved on, but they weren't as ready to split as they first thought.
2) Reduce communication. What? You may be wondering how not talking to each other could ever help you get your ex back. It seems so counterintuitive. But in the long run, it can be a smart move. It gives both parties a chance to cool down and reassess what went wrong. Additionally, it gives your ex more time to miss you. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in this case and can lead to being together again.
3) Flexibility is vital. Avoid ultimatums and demands. Instead of arguing, try sympathizing and listening. Go with the flow and be flexible. Your ex may be happy to see that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable. This alone may be enough get them thinking about being a couple again. Plus, it shows them that you don't always have to argue. (Now, how did I know you have argued in the past?)
4) Go out! Look, you broke up...everybody gets that. But that doesn't mean you need to wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from your friends and having a good time. Go out. Live a little. Have fun. Be with friends. You don't need to start dating to prove a point, just have a good time. Not only will doing this be therapeutic, it will also make you look better in the eyes of your ex.
5) Be yourself. That's all. Just be who you are. Chances are that your ex was originally attracted to some element, or elements of who you really are. Be confident in being whoever you are. Nobody likes a phony, and your ex, in time, may respond to the same things they found so appealing when they first met you. Mending those broken bonds are a sure way to get your ex back for good.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Can You Win Your Love Back?
Can you win your love back? Men and women from all over the world ask themselves this question over and over again, day in and day out. Some of them will just continue to ask the question, or try winning their loves back through persuasion or begging. But the truth of the matter is, you cannot control another person's actions, no matter how much you want to or how right you think you are. What you can do is control yourself, and how you come across to other people.
So when you're making a plan to win your love back, instead of focusing on him or her, you need to focus on yourself. Remember that it is not impossible to rekindle your ex's love for you. And also remember that in most situations, the ex still cares for his or her partner. Whatever happened to cause the breakup cannot be taken back, but you can work on not letting those things happen again when and if you know what they are.
Back to the main point of this article. . .how do you get your ex back? There are actually some very straightforward steps that you can take to accomplish this. And these have been proven to work again and again. The very first step is to leave your ex alone, if you haven't already done so. That's right. Just let him or her go. If you've been pestering him or her up until now, this first step will actually work very well right away. Your ex will wonder what happened to make you stop. And then, instead of thinking of how to ward you off, or being annoyed with you, he or she will start wondering if you've met someone else. And they may actually start to regret not having given you a chance. Do not give in at this stage. Avoid all contact if possible. If your ex happens to seek you out in this stage, you can answer his or her calls. Be cordial and say it was nice to hear from them. But do not ask to meet or ever initiate any kind of correspondence. If he or she asks you why you haven't called, just explain that you've been thinking about stuff. If they want to talk about getting back together, by all means listen, and try to make an objective decision about what to do. Do not say "Yes!" immediately.
But in most cases, your ex will not start calling you only because you've stopped calling them. So, use this "away-time" to better yourself by eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, taking time to look nice when you go out to work or out for fun, and just relaxing. You need time to build yourself back up so that when you do contact your ex again, you will be able to present a strong, healthy, catch to him or that he would not want to pass up. In very general terms, that's how you win your love back.
So when you're making a plan to win your love back, instead of focusing on him or her, you need to focus on yourself. Remember that it is not impossible to rekindle your ex's love for you. And also remember that in most situations, the ex still cares for his or her partner. Whatever happened to cause the breakup cannot be taken back, but you can work on not letting those things happen again when and if you know what they are.
Back to the main point of this article. . .how do you get your ex back? There are actually some very straightforward steps that you can take to accomplish this. And these have been proven to work again and again. The very first step is to leave your ex alone, if you haven't already done so. That's right. Just let him or her go. If you've been pestering him or her up until now, this first step will actually work very well right away. Your ex will wonder what happened to make you stop. And then, instead of thinking of how to ward you off, or being annoyed with you, he or she will start wondering if you've met someone else. And they may actually start to regret not having given you a chance. Do not give in at this stage. Avoid all contact if possible. If your ex happens to seek you out in this stage, you can answer his or her calls. Be cordial and say it was nice to hear from them. But do not ask to meet or ever initiate any kind of correspondence. If he or she asks you why you haven't called, just explain that you've been thinking about stuff. If they want to talk about getting back together, by all means listen, and try to make an objective decision about what to do. Do not say "Yes!" immediately.
But in most cases, your ex will not start calling you only because you've stopped calling them. So, use this "away-time" to better yourself by eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, taking time to look nice when you go out to work or out for fun, and just relaxing. You need time to build yourself back up so that when you do contact your ex again, you will be able to present a strong, healthy, catch to him or that he would not want to pass up. In very general terms, that's how you win your love back.
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