What Are The Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup

The emotional roller coaster of a painful breakup typically affects both parties in similar ways. The intensity might be different for the person who wanted the breakup than for the 'dumpee', but both people will go through the emotional stages of a relationship breakup.

Knowing and recognizing the different steps for what they are could help you move through the process a little easier. Each stage is essential so you are able to heal and be whole and able to find love again some day. Do not try to shrotcut the steps, just remember that after you have gone through each step you will be on the road to feeling better.

There's no time limit for how long each step should take to get through. How long it takes will depend on numerous things such as how secure you're in yourself and what type of a support system you have.

Here are the 5 major steps in a relationship breakup:

1) Pain. This will frequently hit hard and fast. At first the pain can be diminished somewhat by a feeling of disbelief but once that passes the pain can seem unbearable. This is a physical pain. You might not be able to eat or sleep. Everything seems like too much effort. You just want to crawl into a corner and be left alone.

2) Denial. This is the step when you start thinking that it is all a big mistake and surely your ex will realize it very soon and the two of you will be back together. That can be a dangerous way to think. It is important that you try to move through this stage as quickly as possible. Lingering too long in this stage can really make it harder to heal and move on.

3) Anger. This is when all your fear and hurt turns to anger. You are outraged that someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deeply. This stage is very destructive and hurtful to both parties and if you're not careful how you handle this stage you migh sabotage any chances you have of getting back together.

It's also important to make sure you don't become overly bitter. If you let that bitterness grow too strong it could follow you into other relationships making it harder to ever having a fulfilling relationship again.

4) Grieving. At this stage you will mourn your lost relationship. You will often spend a lot of time reminiscing about all the good times the two of you had shared. It is very important to keep a close watch on your mental health during this stage.

If you ever feel like 'ending it all' make sure you seek help immediately. It is impossible to believe while going through this but you really will love again, if you allow yourself to.

5) Acceptance. You will finally reach a point where you realize it's over. You are stronger and better able to start thinking more about your future and less about your past. This time can be bittersweet: you've realized and dealt with the fact that your relationship is over which is sad, but you're also excited about new opportunities and convinced you will find love again.

The more you know about the emotional stages of a relationship breakup
and how to deal with them the easier and quicker you can move on from living in the past to a bright new future. Just make sure you understand that this is all normal and it will get better, just hang in there.

Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner - Before You Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

It does not matter if you have been in a relationship for a while or if it is brand new, most people will reach a point where they're considering taking their relationship to the next level. The next level may mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle. Regardless what the next level is for you, now is the time to begin evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it might seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be really hard. There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation could be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you might already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you have fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see. Few people will still have the strength to truthfully admit that there may be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is good.

2) During the early days and most of the 'dating phase' of a relationship your partner, and you, can be really guarded and careful of what they let the other see. With a few people it is a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other's it is a more innocent "putting the best foot forward" type of thing.

Either way this tendency could make an honest evaluation really hard.

One of the most important things you are able to do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It is also important to take your time. Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someoone so badly they're willing to be mis-treated just so they do not have to be alone.

If you truly want a strong relationship make certain you are strong first. If you're happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you will not be so desperate for a relationship that you allow yourself to be mis-treated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do. The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they truly are and not just as you want them to be. That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentiallly abusive relationship.

I Lost Love

Are you still holding a candle for your ex, telling your friends and family 'I lost the love of my life'? If that sounds like you then there may still be hope to get your relationship back. There are a few things anybody can do to make an ex fall madly in love with you all over again. You truly can rekindle that old flame.
The first thing you need to think about is what may have gone wrong. Stop worrying about telling people 'I lost love' and think about what positive steps you are able to take instead. When you are able to identify what you think went wrong in the relationship, you are in a good position to begin working on tactics to rectify it and then put some things in place to get your relationship back.
All relationships begin filled with excitement and adrenaline. You both want to please the other person, so you make a big effort to look good and say the right things. You both enjoy each others company, because you are both trying very hard to be pleasant.
At this point most relationships move into a comfortable phase, where you both feel a bit more relaxed. This is the phase where a lot of relationships break up and it can take anywhere from a month to a year to reach this point, and even longer with others.
Regrettably, some women misread the signals from their man. They think his comfortable phase means he's pulling away. Most women's first instinct is to try hard to bring him closer again. The common tactic they try is to cling tighter to him, wanting to see him more frequently and wanting him to reassure her that he's not leaving.
The fact is men view these tactics as desperation and neediness, which makes them pull away. When their fun-loving, happy girlfriends begin these frantic efforts to cling to them, men feel as though they have lost the girl they fell in love with. Alternatively, they have a stranger who's making him feel as though he can not do anything right. This is the primary reason why men begin to pull away from their girlfriends.
By taking a bit of time out after a break up and working on finding your own confidence again means that you will realize you've the power to make yourself happy. You can pursue interests that please you or hang out with friends who make you feel good. These activities should also help you to realize that you do not need your ex to make you feel happy. You are able to do that yourself.
With your new self-confidence and positive attitude, you are in a much better position to call your ex and suggest getting together for a friendly chat over a cup of coffee. Let him see that you have found that happy, confident girl he fell in love with and his feelings will come rushing back. Remember, in the beginning of your relationship, it was the happy, easy going version of you that he fell in love with.
No relationship is perfect and of course you will have moments where things aren't so perfect, but by making sure you both enjoy the time you spend with each other, you will be less likely to be telling people 'I lost love' and more likely to tell people 'I found the love of my life'.

Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it's possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you have already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles could also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that may possibly be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they frequently believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have really different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by discussing the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Rather than talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they're capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will start to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he will withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who's a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. As a matter of fact, he will likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will frequently find themselves doing whatever they can to make certain you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it hard to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you are more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly also.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will start to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and pleasant to spend time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you are able to do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they will also work equally well if you are trying to get your ex back.

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship may seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and regardless what they do, their partner appears to be pulling further and further away from them. In an attempt to pull their relationship back together, a lot of people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but regrettably these tactics could occasionally end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you are able to put to good use for you when you are saving a relationship. Most relationships move through numerous phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with one another.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you would expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

A lot of women start trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

Actually, these actions are driving you further apart rather than saving a relationship that was once good fun to be a part of. If you are serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you will need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. A lot of women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make certain your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with one another, you felt secure that you did not need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction

As mentioned earlier, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you are attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it is natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with one another, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. A lot of people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication

Effective communication when you are working on saving a relationship does not mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. As a matter of fact, this may break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most often they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It is natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you are able to use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. A lot of people start to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships start to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can frequently make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Rather than giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

1. Small Talk

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk does not mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

Small talk is merely sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2. Eye Contact

How many times do you truly look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, a lot of people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they do not make eye contact.

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with one another, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you also in non-sexual ways could help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and do not have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you are out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in one another that could be really effective relationship self help techniques.

4. Appreciation

Rather than focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them in the first place, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and do not waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5. Time Out

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it is normal to enjoy each other's company, it is also important to remember that everybody needs a little recess from time to time.

This may be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that a lot of couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage one another to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

How To Get Back With Ex

Are you thinking about ways how to get back with ex? Almost every adult on the planet has gone through a relationship break up at some point in their lives. Most of the time people simply move through the hurt and try to move on.
What these people do not realize is that around 90% of all relationship break ups could have been stopped and if they have already happened, then they could be reversed.
The first step in learning how to get back with your ex is to look objectively at how come the break up happened. You will not be able to change the reasons why you broke up, but you should be objective enough to realize that it takes two. This means accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship, understanding what mistakes you may have made and learning from them.
Try to think about what specific attributes attracted your ex to you when you first met. This does not necessarily mean your looks. It means ask yourself what did you do back then that made him so happy to spend plenty of time in your company?
Compare this to the time you spent together just before the break up. Was he becoming distant, which made you want to hang onto him even tighter? Was he pulling away, which made you try hard to let him know how much you loved him? Maybe you spent plenty of time analyzing the relationship in an effort to fix it before the break up happened.
Each of these things spells 'needy' to a male, yet the biggest thing that attracts most men to their partners is a happy, confident girl that makes them feel good to be around. Neediness could frequently push a man away from even the best relationship.
Work hard on regaining your confidence and your happiness. Remember, these are the things your ex fell in love with to begin with, and they are the same things that can make your ex fall in love with you all over again.
Men and women communicate very differently to one another. When a woman is trying to find out how to get back with her ex, she will attempt to get her ex to talk about what went wrong. She wants to analyze and fix whatever was broken in the relationship.
Men will not view this as a sign that it should be fixed or that you should get back together. They simply view it as being too needy and they'll start wondering how to find somebody who makes their time spent together happy and fun again.
The next big positive step you can take to get back with your ex is to arrange to meet for a chat about the possibility of remaining in touch with one another. Do not be surprised if he's initially a bit hesitant. After all, he will be remembering only the reasons you broke up.
He will need some gentle reminding about all the reasons he fell in love with you in order to make him realize you were one of the best things that had happened to him. Your gentle reminders should be to show him that you are happy and confident again, just like you were when he fell in love with you the first time. You should not be yelling at him or blaming or accusing and you should not be telling him all the good things you did. These things do not work. Merely allow him to see the happy, confident, independent person that swept him off his feet and his feelings will begin to re-emerge all on their own. Then you will have a strong foundation for how to get back with your ex.

I Miss My Ex - What Should I Do

Are you thinking 'I miss my ex' after a painful relationship break up? If this sounds like you, then you are not alone. Missing your ex is a normal part of the grieving process after any break up, but some women's longing to see their ex one more time goes much deeper than merely missing the companionship.

In these cases, women could feel as if they have missed out on their chance at true love. If this sounds like you and you find yourself saying 'I miss my ex' then there might be some things you are able to do to win back your relationship.

Even if you think you have tried everything you can to get your ex back, maybe you need to reconsider your tactics, as some of the things you may be doing may possibly be pushing him even further away. Some things women try in order to get their ex to realize how much they miss him can frequently make him run the other way rather than coming back to you.

These things can include calling him and telling him you miss him and you love him in an upset, miserable tone. To a man, this sounds like desperation from a really unhappy person. Men like to spend time with people who make them feel good. This means they will seek women who are happy and confident because they make him feel as though he's capable of making them happy.

If you have ever called your ex and cried about how upset you are now he's gone, then you may have pushed him even further away. Don't worry, though. It's possible to fix this sort of mistake by merely not contacting him for a couple of days to give him plenty of time to miss you. After all, if you are texting or e-mailing or phoning him day in and day out, when has he had a chance to miss you yet?

While you are spending some time away from him, you need to spend some time working on building up your own self-confidence. Give yourself a mini makeover. When women look good, they feel good also. Spend some time doing things that make you feel good. Go out with some girlfriends and do some fun things together.

Building your own self-confidence will help to stop you thinking about the negative, upsetting aspects of telling yourself over and over 'I miss my ex'. Rather than this, begin thinking about positive things you are able to do to become the happy, confident woman that your ex fell in love with in the first place.

After all, when you are able to put yourself back into a positive frame of mind, you will be ready to give him a call and suggest you both catch up for a friendly coffee and a chat. This will give you a chance to let him spend some time with the happy, confident version of you that he once loved and was attracted to. If you feel your emotions coming to the surface and you feel like you want to beg or plead with him or if you feel like you are going to cry, remember that the unhappy you is the one he pulled away from and broke up with.

So if you're thinking 'I miss my ex', take heart. There is still hope you can work on ways to get your ex back.