Many people are uncomfortable with airing their 'dirty laundry' in public. They just don't want to sit down with a therapist and hash out their troubles. They do, however, want help for those trouble and for those people relationship self help is as close as the internet.
There are many fine books and other resources online that will help the two of you find your way back to the love you once felt for each other. You don't have to go to a therapist if that idea makes you uncomfortable, you can do it yourself.
If you are unsure where to start, simply do a search for forums that are centered around relationships. Here you will likely be able to get recommendations on some great self help resources, as well as some excellent advice from others in the forum.
If you want to get started right now, here are some tipsand ideas on where to get started:
1. I hate to ask, don't get mad, but the first thing to consider is are you really sure your partner cares about the relationship as much as you do? It's really easy to convince yourself that your partner is as concerned with your relationship as you are, but in a lot of cases, that's not the truth.
To be honest, a lot of relationship problems start because only one person is trying. It's not uncommon to have relationships where one person simply doesn't care and the other person is the one who does all the heavy lifting.
That dynamic can only last so long before the one doing all the work gets fed up and stops trying, from that point on, it's all down hill.
Take a minute (and be honest) and take a long hard look at your relationship. If you find that this describes your relationship, you must know that it won't be impossible but it will be a lot harder to turn things around.
2. Next you and your partner need to carefully look at the problems in your relationship. Try to figure out what the problems are, and be honest, and sit down to find alternative ways of acting or treating each other.
3. Please keep in mind that it won't happen overnight. If you or your partner is expecting a quick fix you will be disappointed. If you expect this process to be quick and easy and it takes longer than you would like, it's possible that you will give up because you think it's simply not going to work out.
Instead, maintain realistic expectations and be willing to stick with it until you see some progress. If both of you are really trying, things will get better it's just a matter of time.
The basic recipe is to find what is causing the problems between you, figure out how to correct those problems (in many cases it will mean changing some habits between the two of you, hence the amount of time it will take) and just give it time.
It sounds easy, but it will take enormous commitment from both of you to make it work. The good news is that if you are both committed you can do it and it's pretty easy to find all the relationship self help you will need.
Showing posts with label Relationship Self Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship Self Help. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, September 13, 2010
Relationship Self Help - Simple Relationship Tips
Believe it or not there are some very simple relationship self help techniques that you can apply to your relationship to regain some of the closeness you once felt for each other. It is really too bad that day to day challenges get in the way of the love you have for each other and put it all on the back burner.
If things do not get switched to the front burner every now and then it seems as if they almost get forgotten and then the harder it is to remember where to find them again. It is as if you went from not being able to keep your hands off of each other in the beginning to rarely ever touching each other after five years.
To keep a relationship alive, touching is very important. It shows the other that even though there are a million and three things that need to be dealt with, you are trying to stay connected, even in some small way. Hold hands wherever you go, walking down the street, riding in the car, sitting and watching TV together, whatever. Also, reach out and touch your partner even as you just walk by them. This will make them feel loved and let them know you care.
Did you know that research shows that if you talk to your partner about anything and everything throughout your relationship it is less likely that either one of you will explode over something huge. Know why? Because if the lines of communication are open for the little things, then they will stay open for the bigger things that come along. Learning to communicate effectively is the single most important relationship self help technique you can do to improve or maintain your relationship.
Another technique you can use is to try to remember the things you like and love about your partner. Stop focusing on the things that annoy you and turn your attention back to the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Those little annoyances creep in and soon become big annoyances and then they just seem to take over and dwarf everything else that really counts in your relationship.
Last, but not least, do you spend all your time together or not enough time together? Either way can be damaging to a relationship. Too much time together can cause those little annoyances we talked about to rear their ugly heads a lot sooner and also encourage boredom. Think about it, if you are spending every waking moment together you will end up not having a single thing to talk about. So, spend some time away from each other every once in a while. Miss each other. You will come back to the relationship with a new appreciation for your partner, not to mention maybe a good story or two to share.
Using one or all of these relationship self help techniques will help keep your relationship strong and healthy and your love alive and well.
If things do not get switched to the front burner every now and then it seems as if they almost get forgotten and then the harder it is to remember where to find them again. It is as if you went from not being able to keep your hands off of each other in the beginning to rarely ever touching each other after five years.
To keep a relationship alive, touching is very important. It shows the other that even though there are a million and three things that need to be dealt with, you are trying to stay connected, even in some small way. Hold hands wherever you go, walking down the street, riding in the car, sitting and watching TV together, whatever. Also, reach out and touch your partner even as you just walk by them. This will make them feel loved and let them know you care.
Did you know that research shows that if you talk to your partner about anything and everything throughout your relationship it is less likely that either one of you will explode over something huge. Know why? Because if the lines of communication are open for the little things, then they will stay open for the bigger things that come along. Learning to communicate effectively is the single most important relationship self help technique you can do to improve or maintain your relationship.
Another technique you can use is to try to remember the things you like and love about your partner. Stop focusing on the things that annoy you and turn your attention back to the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Those little annoyances creep in and soon become big annoyances and then they just seem to take over and dwarf everything else that really counts in your relationship.
Last, but not least, do you spend all your time together or not enough time together? Either way can be damaging to a relationship. Too much time together can cause those little annoyances we talked about to rear their ugly heads a lot sooner and also encourage boredom. Think about it, if you are spending every waking moment together you will end up not having a single thing to talk about. So, spend some time away from each other every once in a while. Miss each other. You will come back to the relationship with a new appreciation for your partner, not to mention maybe a good story or two to share.
Using one or all of these relationship self help techniques will help keep your relationship strong and healthy and your love alive and well.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship
There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you are able to use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. A lot of people start to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships start to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can frequently make people feel more like roommates than lovers.
Rather than giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.
1. Small Talk
Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk does not mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.
Small talk is merely sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.
2. Eye Contact
How many times do you truly look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, a lot of people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they do not make eye contact.
When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with one another, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.
3. Non-sexual Physical Contact
Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you also in non-sexual ways could help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and do not have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you are out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in one another that could be really effective relationship self help techniques.
4. Appreciation
Rather than focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them in the first place, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and do not waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.
5. Time Out
Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it is normal to enjoy each other's company, it is also important to remember that everybody needs a little recess from time to time.
This may be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that a lot of couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage one another to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.
Rather than giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.
1. Small Talk
Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk does not mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.
Small talk is merely sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.
2. Eye Contact
How many times do you truly look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, a lot of people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they do not make eye contact.
When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with one another, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.
3. Non-sexual Physical Contact
Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you also in non-sexual ways could help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and do not have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you are out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in one another that could be really effective relationship self help techniques.
4. Appreciation
Rather than focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them in the first place, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and do not waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.
5. Time Out
Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it is normal to enjoy each other's company, it is also important to remember that everybody needs a little recess from time to time.
This may be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that a lot of couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage one another to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.
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