If you are having trouble in your relationship and you and your partner just don't seem to be getting on very well lately then you may find yourself studying relationship psychology trying to work out what has gone wrong. You could end up driving yourself crazy in your attempt to find out what the problem is and there are better options that will benefit you more.
There are so many different books available about relationship psychology and they will all tell you something different, so how do you know which one is giving you the correct information? You really don't know who is giving you good information and the information that you need may also depend on your situation. Relationships can become trouble for various reasons so no one piece of advice will cover all relationship problems. There is a lot of theory behind relationships and different behaviors but whether those theories can help you is another story. Even trained counselors and relationship experts will often give the same advice to different couples when these different couples actually require different advice depending on their particular problems.
There are just so many different reasons why relationships have problems. Some couples will argue a lot over money, child raising opinions, sex or other reasons. Even when couples have similar problems, the way that people deal with those problems can vary quite a bit.
This doesn't mean that you can't find help to improve your relationship; you just don't need to study relationship psychology to get help. There is a great book available called 'The Magic of Making Up' that gives a lot of advice and much of what is discussed in this book can help with various relationship problems. It is a great self help course that will teach you to communicate better with your partner which can drastically increase the chance of improving your relationship.
Not all relationships can be saved and whether your relationship is salvageable or not may depend on the problems that have led to the current state. If a relationship is salvageable then this is the book that can help you save it. This book will help you to make that decision on whether it is worth saving your relationship and if so how to do it.
Too many couples will continue along in an unhappy relationship being in denial and not wanting to admit there is anything wrong. The longer a couple continues this way the bigger the problems will become. If there are problems in the relationship they won't disappear on their own, they need to be dealt with so you can move on and be happy together.
If you love your partner and want to save your relationship then forget about studying relationship psychology and focus on saving the relationship and making each other happy again.
Showing posts with label Relationship Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship Psychology. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Relationship Psychology Can Work In Your Favor
As humans we often tend to make things much more difficult than they really need to be. Why? Heck, I don't know. But I do know that figuring out what the relationship psychology is in your relationship and how you can make things better may not really be as hard as you thought.
The truth of the matter is that we all are excellent liars, at least when we lie to ourselves. More than likely every one has had at least one relationship in which they knew in their heart that the person they were with was the wrong person for them, but they chose to ignore it. I know I have.
It's just so darn easy to pretend that someone is something they aren't or pretend they aren't something that they are. We do it all the time. In a lot of cases it's just this 'simple' lying that makes the relationship unbearable over time.
When you and your honey are in the first blush of love, it's pretty easy to ignore the obvious signs of trouble: he will promise to call, but doesn't and you'll ignore it and make excuses for him.
Or she will snap at you and belittle you in public and you will chalk it up to her being nervous or in a bad mood.
And sometimes, it's appropriate to ignore these things. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when the mistakes become a pattern it's time to pay attention... and many times we don't.
Another problem comes along in the form of sex. A lot of people mistakenly believe that men need or want sex more than women. That is not entirely true, but they may want it for slightly different reasons than women do (besides the obvious physical pleasure).
Men often equate their worth with their sexual prowess. A man who has sex a lot or who can make his women feel really good, feels like a big man. He needs and wants the ego boost and the affirmation associated with a good romp.
A women will often want to feel like she is loved and desired. For her it's as much about the heart as it is about the body.
But the bottom line is that both men and women really just want to be loved, respected and admired by their partner. They just gain those feelings in different ways.
Once you understand that both of you want the same things, you just go about getting it in different ways, it might make the whole relationship seem a little easier. Treat your partner with love, dignity and respect and expect them to do the same for you. If both of you follow that rule, your relationship can be a wonderful experience for you both.
Relationship psychology can be complex, but don't get too caught up in the details. Just remember the golden rule: "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" that is some of the best relationship advice you can ever get or follow.
The truth of the matter is that we all are excellent liars, at least when we lie to ourselves. More than likely every one has had at least one relationship in which they knew in their heart that the person they were with was the wrong person for them, but they chose to ignore it. I know I have.
It's just so darn easy to pretend that someone is something they aren't or pretend they aren't something that they are. We do it all the time. In a lot of cases it's just this 'simple' lying that makes the relationship unbearable over time.
When you and your honey are in the first blush of love, it's pretty easy to ignore the obvious signs of trouble: he will promise to call, but doesn't and you'll ignore it and make excuses for him.
Or she will snap at you and belittle you in public and you will chalk it up to her being nervous or in a bad mood.
And sometimes, it's appropriate to ignore these things. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when the mistakes become a pattern it's time to pay attention... and many times we don't.
Another problem comes along in the form of sex. A lot of people mistakenly believe that men need or want sex more than women. That is not entirely true, but they may want it for slightly different reasons than women do (besides the obvious physical pleasure).
Men often equate their worth with their sexual prowess. A man who has sex a lot or who can make his women feel really good, feels like a big man. He needs and wants the ego boost and the affirmation associated with a good romp.
A women will often want to feel like she is loved and desired. For her it's as much about the heart as it is about the body.
But the bottom line is that both men and women really just want to be loved, respected and admired by their partner. They just gain those feelings in different ways.
Once you understand that both of you want the same things, you just go about getting it in different ways, it might make the whole relationship seem a little easier. Treat your partner with love, dignity and respect and expect them to do the same for you. If both of you follow that rule, your relationship can be a wonderful experience for you both.
Relationship psychology can be complex, but don't get too caught up in the details. Just remember the golden rule: "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" that is some of the best relationship advice you can ever get or follow.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Relationship Psychology Basics
Relationships are funny things. Sometimes they go great, other times they are maddeningly difficult. Even worse, the causes for the good times and the bad times can be hard to spot, and it is nearly impossible to predict what will happen in a relationship. How else can you explain those couples who seem to be deeply in love one day, then file for a divorce the next?
What it all comes down to is psychology. Does that mean a psychologist can save any relationship? Not necessarily, but there are some interesting things to consider. Perhaps having some simple insights into what people are thinking will help keep your current relationship that much stronger.
The National Institute of Mental Health paid for a study that the majority of young couples (18 to 21 years of age) avoided being overly intimate--in the deepest sense of the word--with one another and tried to remain as independent as possible. At the same time, there was strong evidence that they were worried about abandonment and rejection. However, those with higher self-esteem didn't worry as much.
Generally speaking, older couples do not show as strong of a tendency for this type of behavior. This is most likely because they have more life experience and that they do not tie their sense of worth to what somebody else thinks of them. To put it another way, they don't worry as much about breaking up. The interesting thing is that this attitude actually makes it less likely that they will break up. That's not to say that break ups only happen to young couples. They can happen at any age.
There have also been differences recorded between men and women. For example, women tend to try to steer a conversation, while men tend to react to conversations as they happen. It's easy to see how this can lead to a source of conflict. Different styles of communication means that what you mean to say often isn't the way it is heard. However, once you understand these differences are there, you can take that into account whenever you are talking to each other.
These are only a few basic observations on the psychology of relationships, but there are many more. While it can be fascinating to explore the differences between how men and women think, this alone isn't always enough to keep a relationship humming along nicely. What it really takes is work and commitment.
If you find things could be going better, keep the above information in mind. It's a good start. However, you should also consider seeing a marriage counselor. They have a firm grasp of the psychology of relationships. Even better, they will take the time to get to know and be able to show you how to apply that psychology and be a happier couple.
What it all comes down to is psychology. Does that mean a psychologist can save any relationship? Not necessarily, but there are some interesting things to consider. Perhaps having some simple insights into what people are thinking will help keep your current relationship that much stronger.
The National Institute of Mental Health paid for a study that the majority of young couples (18 to 21 years of age) avoided being overly intimate--in the deepest sense of the word--with one another and tried to remain as independent as possible. At the same time, there was strong evidence that they were worried about abandonment and rejection. However, those with higher self-esteem didn't worry as much.
Generally speaking, older couples do not show as strong of a tendency for this type of behavior. This is most likely because they have more life experience and that they do not tie their sense of worth to what somebody else thinks of them. To put it another way, they don't worry as much about breaking up. The interesting thing is that this attitude actually makes it less likely that they will break up. That's not to say that break ups only happen to young couples. They can happen at any age.
There have also been differences recorded between men and women. For example, women tend to try to steer a conversation, while men tend to react to conversations as they happen. It's easy to see how this can lead to a source of conflict. Different styles of communication means that what you mean to say often isn't the way it is heard. However, once you understand these differences are there, you can take that into account whenever you are talking to each other.
These are only a few basic observations on the psychology of relationships, but there are many more. While it can be fascinating to explore the differences between how men and women think, this alone isn't always enough to keep a relationship humming along nicely. What it really takes is work and commitment.
If you find things could be going better, keep the above information in mind. It's a good start. However, you should also consider seeing a marriage counselor. They have a firm grasp of the psychology of relationships. Even better, they will take the time to get to know and be able to show you how to apply that psychology and be a happier couple.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Relationship Psychology - Can Save Your Relationship
The science of relationship psychology can be used to improve your relationship, at it's core its simply a way to learn how to identify and learn to change the destructive things you do in a relationship. This could be something as simple as always falling for the wrong person or just being so insecure that you slowly tear your relationship apart.
Learning to understand each other, and actually listen to what your partner has to say is a vital skill that you must learn if you want peace in your relationship.
It's no surprise that men and woman communicate differently, too. We all know that men tend to like to take action and women are more likely to want to talk about the situation. That in a nutshell is the big reason why men and women have so many difficulties in relationships, they just need to learn how to communicate more effectively with each other.
When it comes to using relationship psychology to help improve your relationship, talk to your partner about what they think is the perfect relationship and what they expect this relationship will be like. They may have an all together different idea than you do about the subject. Say, for example, that your husband grew up in a home where his father dominated everything then he may feel he has that right in his own relationship. And if you grew up in a family that was more democratic than that and everyone was allowed to be a part of any decisions that were made, then there will be problems in your relationship.
Getting things out in the open and learning to deal with them right from the beginning will enable the two of you to not have any misunderstandings or get your feelings hurt because you understand where the other is coming from.
If you think you have met your perfect match, your soul mate, the love of your life, that does not mean that everything will always be sunshine and roses. I think a lot of people who think they have met 'the one' mistakenly assume that they will always get along and the relationship will always be perfect and that they won't have to work at it. Well, let me tell you something, life is not a fairy tale and relationships like that only happen in fairy tales.
Having a healthy relationship does not just happen, it takes some effort on both your parts. So educate yourselves right from the beginning and then put what you learn into practice, simple.
If you really want to start out on the right foot, get some premarital counseling. There are counselors who specialize in premarital counseling or the minister of your church probably offers it as well. Use this time to build on the good things about your relationship and nip the problem areas in the bud. The counselor can teach you both how to communicate effectively and give you both insight into how your partner thinks and behaves in certain situations.
Relationship psychology can be an effective tool to use to build a healthy relationship between you and your partner.
Learning to understand each other, and actually listen to what your partner has to say is a vital skill that you must learn if you want peace in your relationship.
It's no surprise that men and woman communicate differently, too. We all know that men tend to like to take action and women are more likely to want to talk about the situation. That in a nutshell is the big reason why men and women have so many difficulties in relationships, they just need to learn how to communicate more effectively with each other.
When it comes to using relationship psychology to help improve your relationship, talk to your partner about what they think is the perfect relationship and what they expect this relationship will be like. They may have an all together different idea than you do about the subject. Say, for example, that your husband grew up in a home where his father dominated everything then he may feel he has that right in his own relationship. And if you grew up in a family that was more democratic than that and everyone was allowed to be a part of any decisions that were made, then there will be problems in your relationship.
Getting things out in the open and learning to deal with them right from the beginning will enable the two of you to not have any misunderstandings or get your feelings hurt because you understand where the other is coming from.
If you think you have met your perfect match, your soul mate, the love of your life, that does not mean that everything will always be sunshine and roses. I think a lot of people who think they have met 'the one' mistakenly assume that they will always get along and the relationship will always be perfect and that they won't have to work at it. Well, let me tell you something, life is not a fairy tale and relationships like that only happen in fairy tales.
Having a healthy relationship does not just happen, it takes some effort on both your parts. So educate yourselves right from the beginning and then put what you learn into practice, simple.
If you really want to start out on the right foot, get some premarital counseling. There are counselors who specialize in premarital counseling or the minister of your church probably offers it as well. Use this time to build on the good things about your relationship and nip the problem areas in the bud. The counselor can teach you both how to communicate effectively and give you both insight into how your partner thinks and behaves in certain situations.
Relationship psychology can be an effective tool to use to build a healthy relationship between you and your partner.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Are You Studying Relationship Psychology
Are you studying relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don't appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.
There are a huge number of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but every one you read appears to contradict the others. In a recent interview, even Dr Phil, the relationship expert,admitted that most therapist and counselors don't know how to fix a partnership. Sure they will give you the theory and the reasons behind some types of behavior, but whether that sorts out your particular problem is more a matter of luck than anything else. Often they come from a background of broken relationships, but you won't know this as your counselor never divulges their personal details to their clients.
Every partnership is different and while some issues between men and women i.e. who wants more sex, who does the most housework, who earns the most money, who minds the kids more often; can be similar. However at the end of the day the issues you are facing are as a direct result of who you and your partner are.
Does that mean you can't find help? Of course not but you don't need a relationship psychology course to do it. What you need is a great self help book that will help you to communicate and relate to your partner better. Something for both of you to read and share.
I suggest the Magic of Making Up as it is written by a man which is rather unusual to start with. Mr Jackson is very happily married and committed to helping his clients either become that way or remain that way. You only have to read some of the comments from his readers to see what impact the book had on their lives. Perhaps you have come to the end of your partnership, as I am not going to lie and say every relationship can be saved, but at least wait before making your decision until you read this book. Then you will be armed with the knowledge to make the right decision for you, your partner and if appropriate your kids.
It takes guts to admit that there are issues in your partnership that need working on. It is so much easier to put your head in the sand and hope that they will go away. But the sad fact is that most won't disappear for good. They may go away for a little while but they will come back and perhaps even worse than before. Problems have a way of developing a life of their own if they are not dealt with quickly and efficiently.
You and your partner have invested a lot in each other and so you should be willing to take one more step to try to prevent a breakup. So forget about studying relationship psychology and instead concentrate on making each other happy once again.
There are a huge number of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but every one you read appears to contradict the others. In a recent interview, even Dr Phil, the relationship expert,admitted that most therapist and counselors don't know how to fix a partnership. Sure they will give you the theory and the reasons behind some types of behavior, but whether that sorts out your particular problem is more a matter of luck than anything else. Often they come from a background of broken relationships, but you won't know this as your counselor never divulges their personal details to their clients.
Every partnership is different and while some issues between men and women i.e. who wants more sex, who does the most housework, who earns the most money, who minds the kids more often; can be similar. However at the end of the day the issues you are facing are as a direct result of who you and your partner are.
Does that mean you can't find help? Of course not but you don't need a relationship psychology course to do it. What you need is a great self help book that will help you to communicate and relate to your partner better. Something for both of you to read and share.
I suggest the Magic of Making Up as it is written by a man which is rather unusual to start with. Mr Jackson is very happily married and committed to helping his clients either become that way or remain that way. You only have to read some of the comments from his readers to see what impact the book had on their lives. Perhaps you have come to the end of your partnership, as I am not going to lie and say every relationship can be saved, but at least wait before making your decision until you read this book. Then you will be armed with the knowledge to make the right decision for you, your partner and if appropriate your kids.
It takes guts to admit that there are issues in your partnership that need working on. It is so much easier to put your head in the sand and hope that they will go away. But the sad fact is that most won't disappear for good. They may go away for a little while but they will come back and perhaps even worse than before. Problems have a way of developing a life of their own if they are not dealt with quickly and efficiently.
You and your partner have invested a lot in each other and so you should be willing to take one more step to try to prevent a breakup. So forget about studying relationship psychology and instead concentrate on making each other happy once again.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Relationship Psychology
No relationship is perfect, but it's possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you have already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles could also help you to get your ex back.
Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that may possibly be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they frequently believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have really different ways of communicating those things they need or want.
Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by discussing the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.
Rather than talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they're capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will start to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he will withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.
However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who's a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. As a matter of fact, he will likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will frequently find themselves doing whatever they can to make certain you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it hard to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you are more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly also.
Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.
Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will start to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and pleasant to spend time with.
These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you are able to do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they will also work equally well if you are trying to get your ex back.
Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that may possibly be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they frequently believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have really different ways of communicating those things they need or want.
Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by discussing the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.
Rather than talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they're capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will start to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he will withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.
However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who's a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. As a matter of fact, he will likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will frequently find themselves doing whatever they can to make certain you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it hard to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you are more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly also.
Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.
Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will start to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and pleasant to spend time with.
These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you are able to do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they will also work equally well if you are trying to get your ex back.
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