"There are plenty of fish in the sea."
It seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship. I know it's their way of trying to ease the pain of a breakup, it never has the desired effect. The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.
Face the truth. When breaking up, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of ever loving again seems like it will never happen again. I mention this because it's important to know that this flow of feelings after breaking up are normal.
Another saying you are not going to want to here is it takes time. The only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Read below for a few ideas you can do to feel better in the meantime.
Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don't overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it's a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!
Stay busy: While you shouldn't try to completely ignore what you are going through, it's also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.
Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain "feel good" chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.
Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn't seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.
Nobody likes to part ways with someone that's close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup.The sooner you start the better off your be.
Showing posts with label breakup advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breakup advice. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Breakup Signals To Watch Out For-Dont Be Blind Sided By Love
The sad truth is that people break up with one another all the time. If that fact makes you nervous, then you are probably concerned that your relationship could be headed for trouble. You may not always know where you stand until you hear it directly from your partner (one way or the other). With that in mind, here are a few breakup signals to watch out for.
You need to know your partner very well before you can pick up on their signals. The biggest thing to watch out for is a change in behavior. However, you need to have a firm understanding of what their normal behavior is like; otherwise you won't be able to detect subtle changes that could be signs of trouble.
If the two of you used to have deep conversations about important things, but now your partner doesn't want to talk to you at all, then that's an issue that needs to be addressed. If they are suddenly being overly-romantic, when they weren't before, then they may be compensating for feelings of guilt. If they get moody and cranky at the slightest thing, then there's a reason for it. While there could be any number of reasons for a change in behavior, such a change is one of the most common breakup signals.
Emotional coldness is another warning sign. This is the opposite of having strong emotions. If your partner seems distant and unfeeling, it may be an attempt to start pulling away from you. They don't laugh or cry; they don't get mad or argue; and they don't express any feelings of affection. It's as if they are a zombie when they are around you. The catch is that they may not even be aware of what they are doing, so you will have to approach the subject carefully.
Not wanting to spend time with you is also something to watch out for. There are many ways to show love for somebody, and spending time together is one of them. Time apart is an easier breakup signal to notice, but that doesn't mean it's an easier signal to endure. The sad part is that you still want to be together, but your partner seems to be spending less and less time with you.
Another important signal to watch out for is what your gut tells you. In other words, if things just don't feel right, then trust those feelings. At the very least, use those feelings as a wake up call that your relationship isn't perfect.
Being aware of these breakup signals is one thing, and dealing with them is quite another. If you see any of these signs (or any signs for that matter), then you need to take the next step and do what you need to do to save your relationship. There may be a few roadblocks up ahead, but having awareness and a good game plan will get you past them with ease.
You need to know your partner very well before you can pick up on their signals. The biggest thing to watch out for is a change in behavior. However, you need to have a firm understanding of what their normal behavior is like; otherwise you won't be able to detect subtle changes that could be signs of trouble.
If the two of you used to have deep conversations about important things, but now your partner doesn't want to talk to you at all, then that's an issue that needs to be addressed. If they are suddenly being overly-romantic, when they weren't before, then they may be compensating for feelings of guilt. If they get moody and cranky at the slightest thing, then there's a reason for it. While there could be any number of reasons for a change in behavior, such a change is one of the most common breakup signals.
Emotional coldness is another warning sign. This is the opposite of having strong emotions. If your partner seems distant and unfeeling, it may be an attempt to start pulling away from you. They don't laugh or cry; they don't get mad or argue; and they don't express any feelings of affection. It's as if they are a zombie when they are around you. The catch is that they may not even be aware of what they are doing, so you will have to approach the subject carefully.
Not wanting to spend time with you is also something to watch out for. There are many ways to show love for somebody, and spending time together is one of them. Time apart is an easier breakup signal to notice, but that doesn't mean it's an easier signal to endure. The sad part is that you still want to be together, but your partner seems to be spending less and less time with you.
Another important signal to watch out for is what your gut tells you. In other words, if things just don't feel right, then trust those feelings. At the very least, use those feelings as a wake up call that your relationship isn't perfect.
Being aware of these breakup signals is one thing, and dealing with them is quite another. If you see any of these signs (or any signs for that matter), then you need to take the next step and do what you need to do to save your relationship. There may be a few roadblocks up ahead, but having awareness and a good game plan will get you past them with ease.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Easing The Pain Of A Breakup-Heal At Your Own Pace
Easing the pain of a breakup is never easy, but it seems as though family and friends are always quick to share their advice. They will say things like "it just wasn't meant to be" or "don't worry, the right person will come along." Yes, they mean well, but their words don't do anything to make you feel better. Good intentions are nice, but they don't mean much. What you need are some actual methods to start easing your pain.
Let's be blunt. There are plenty of negative emotions that come to the surface after a breakup. Everything from anger to sadness, and from guilt to uncertainty all mix together to make you feel awful. And those feelings don't even begin to cover the feelings of loss and heartbreak.
There is one thing that will ease the pain more than anything else, and that is time. You may have heard that "time heals all wounds", but it has also been said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". These two sayings seem to contradict each other, but you have to trust that time will eventually heal the pain in your heart. Even if it doesn't seem like it's possible right now, you have to believe that it will be possible to feel better in the future.
The problem with waiting for time is that it, well, takes time. That all sounds good in theory, but you don't have time to wait. You want to start feeling better now. The good news is that you can.
Live your life - One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is living your life as if nothing happened. You need to go to work, pay your bills, and talk to your friends and family. The more familiarity you can keep in your life, the faster you will start to feel better.
Laugh - You may not feel like laughing right now, and that's okay. However, laughter causes the brain to release chemicals that not only make you feel better but also kill pain. Guilt can prevent you from wanting to fun, but giving yourself permission to laugh will help you to enjoy life more. Put in a funny movie, go to a comedy club, or watch funny videos online, whatever it takes to make you laugh.
Be realistic - Some people make the mistake of thinking that a breakup won't affect them negatively at all. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it doesn't let you deal with the situation. Instead, look at things realistically, and stop living in a fantasy world. You may have to confront some bad feelings when easing the pain of a breakup, but it's a necessary step to feeling better.
Seek help - If, despite your best efforts, you just can't seem to feel better, then getting help from an outside source is the answer. That source could be your higher power, a counselor, or a book on easing the pain of a breakup.
Let's be blunt. There are plenty of negative emotions that come to the surface after a breakup. Everything from anger to sadness, and from guilt to uncertainty all mix together to make you feel awful. And those feelings don't even begin to cover the feelings of loss and heartbreak.
There is one thing that will ease the pain more than anything else, and that is time. You may have heard that "time heals all wounds", but it has also been said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". These two sayings seem to contradict each other, but you have to trust that time will eventually heal the pain in your heart. Even if it doesn't seem like it's possible right now, you have to believe that it will be possible to feel better in the future.
The problem with waiting for time is that it, well, takes time. That all sounds good in theory, but you don't have time to wait. You want to start feeling better now. The good news is that you can.
Live your life - One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is living your life as if nothing happened. You need to go to work, pay your bills, and talk to your friends and family. The more familiarity you can keep in your life, the faster you will start to feel better.
Laugh - You may not feel like laughing right now, and that's okay. However, laughter causes the brain to release chemicals that not only make you feel better but also kill pain. Guilt can prevent you from wanting to fun, but giving yourself permission to laugh will help you to enjoy life more. Put in a funny movie, go to a comedy club, or watch funny videos online, whatever it takes to make you laugh.
Be realistic - Some people make the mistake of thinking that a breakup won't affect them negatively at all. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it doesn't let you deal with the situation. Instead, look at things realistically, and stop living in a fantasy world. You may have to confront some bad feelings when easing the pain of a breakup, but it's a necessary step to feeling better.
Seek help - If, despite your best efforts, you just can't seem to feel better, then getting help from an outside source is the answer. That source could be your higher power, a counselor, or a book on easing the pain of a breakup.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
What To Do After A Break Up
Relationships are filled with all kinds of ups and downs. Unfortunately, far too many relationships come to an end and result in a break up. There is no question that these situations can be difficult, but if you have recently gone through a break up then there is hope. It isn't always easy to figure out what to do after a break up, but things will go more smoothly when you go about it the right way.
Dealing with the aftermath of a break up isn't on anybody's list of fun things to do, but you can do things that will make the process easier.
1. Realize that both parties are responsible, to some degree, for the break up. There is plenty of blame to go around after a break up, but you also need to look at yourself to see what role you played in the two of you splitting up. You won't be able to get past the hard feelings until you admit your part in what has happened.
2. You both need a lot of space. It never fails, one of the people in the relationship will want to talk about the break up, and they will keep pushing and pushing and... It gets to be too much and this behavior only makes things worse. It can be confusing trying to figure out what to do after a break up, and you have to come to terms with a lot of things on your own; your ex does too. No matter how much you want to run back and explain or beg, don't do it right away.
3. Accept the truth. It is so easy to live in a fantasy world after a break up. People often act like it didn't really happen or that things really weren't all that bad. Denial is a big problem and will only prolong the pain and heartache that comes after breaking up. Being honest with yourself and what really happened is the key to moving on with your life.
4. Seek happiness. It may not seem possible right now, but you can be happy. The catch is that you have to be proactive and track down your own happiness. That not only refers to going out and having a good time, but also to finding inner happiness.
The question of what to do after a break up isn't always easy to answer. Let's face it, you're not going to feel all that great. You'll feel pitiful, deep down inside it hurts, you don't know what you're going to do and you may even feel that you just can't go on. But by following the tips that were just shared in this article you will be able to get on with your life and things will get better. Remember, a break up does not have to be the end; in fact a break up can be the start of something even better.
Dealing with the aftermath of a break up isn't on anybody's list of fun things to do, but you can do things that will make the process easier.
1. Realize that both parties are responsible, to some degree, for the break up. There is plenty of blame to go around after a break up, but you also need to look at yourself to see what role you played in the two of you splitting up. You won't be able to get past the hard feelings until you admit your part in what has happened.
2. You both need a lot of space. It never fails, one of the people in the relationship will want to talk about the break up, and they will keep pushing and pushing and... It gets to be too much and this behavior only makes things worse. It can be confusing trying to figure out what to do after a break up, and you have to come to terms with a lot of things on your own; your ex does too. No matter how much you want to run back and explain or beg, don't do it right away.
3. Accept the truth. It is so easy to live in a fantasy world after a break up. People often act like it didn't really happen or that things really weren't all that bad. Denial is a big problem and will only prolong the pain and heartache that comes after breaking up. Being honest with yourself and what really happened is the key to moving on with your life.
4. Seek happiness. It may not seem possible right now, but you can be happy. The catch is that you have to be proactive and track down your own happiness. That not only refers to going out and having a good time, but also to finding inner happiness.
The question of what to do after a break up isn't always easy to answer. Let's face it, you're not going to feel all that great. You'll feel pitiful, deep down inside it hurts, you don't know what you're going to do and you may even feel that you just can't go on. But by following the tips that were just shared in this article you will be able to get on with your life and things will get better. Remember, a break up does not have to be the end; in fact a break up can be the start of something even better.
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