Showing posts with label Save Our Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Save Our Relationship. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Cheaters How Can I Save Our Relationship

Anytime there are cheaters involved in a relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of "Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?", there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship

If you have ever been in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, you might wonder how you are able to ever move on. The question is for cheaters how can I save our relationship? There are a lot of things you are able to do to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but you have to keep in mind that sometimes a relationship simply can't be saved.
If both parties want to try to save the relationship and move on after an affair it will take a lot of time and maturity. It is really tough to trust again after somebody has taken your trust and thrown it away. Some people won't be able to get over it and it will not only end their existing relationship but that lack of trust can follow them to relationship after relationship for the rest of their lives.
Because the hurt you can cause another individual could literally scar them for life it is really important that you really think it through before you decide to cheat. After all, is a little fun on the side, or a quick ego boost really worth the pain you will be causing another human? If you're so insecure that you think it is worth it just so you are able to feel better about yourself and more desirable you should in all likelihood not be in any relationship and spend some time in a therapists office.
One of the biggest things you'll need to do to move your relationship forward after an affair is to have both parties be brutally honest about the initial breakdown of the relationship and their part in it. Blame for ruining a relationship is always shared by both parties, not always evenly, but there are reasons the relationship fell apart to the point that somebody thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by somebody else.
Once you are able to truthfully admit what went wrong you can solve the problem if you and your partner can communicate effectively. This means you have to avoid name calling, fingerpointing, and accusations. If you are able to communicate in an adult fashion about the problems in your relationship and what you are able to do to fix them you might be able to salvage your relationship.
The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved. If you're involved with somebody who has a long history of cheating you should just move on. They're obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they'll never change. If, on the other hand, somebody just gave into a moment of weakness you may be able to work together to save your relationship. So ask yourself: cheaters, how can I save our relationship?

Monday, September 14, 2009

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I am sorry. If you are reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship. I know how hard that could be. If you're asking, 'How can I save our relationship?" I do have a few tips that may be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a a couple of things you have to consider really carefully and truthfully first. You have to decide why you want to save your relationship. That may sound like a dumb comment to make but occasionally we cling to things that we should just let go. We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone. Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make certain that it should be saved.

Now that you have done your honest soul searching and you have determined that your relationship is worth saving here are a a couple of tips you are able to follow which should help:

1) It's not all about you. So frequently in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden. They are the 'fixer'. They're the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage. If that person is you than you have to recognize that you can not do it all. If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. When a relationship begins to falter there are many hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties. These hurts can build up into a big wall of resentment. That wall is really difficult to tear down. It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you may need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that could help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it. If you have screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it. This is key. Remember in step 2 when I discussed resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your errors and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you might have caused. To somebody who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a really sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you'll be well on your way to answering the question " how can i save our relationship?". Remember, the problems did not spring up overnight and they are not going to go away overnight either. But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.