You know, relationships are great...when they are going well. You feel awesome, and there are times when you are so content that you can't imagine them getting any better. That's all well and good, but unfortunately, not all relationships last. Yes, we are talking about the dreaded break up. When this happens we feel downright awful.
If this has happened to you recently, then you know how bad it can be. Maybe you saw it coming for quite some time, or maybe it happened suddenly. Either way, you want to know about the possibility of saving your relationship. There is a silver lining to the dark cloud that's hanging over you, and that is the fact that most relationships can be saved. The catch is that you have to follow a proven plan, and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to work things out.
All of your feelings, as bad as they may be, are normal. You have been through a lot, and you will have good days, and not-so-good days. While it's okay to feel awful, you shouldn't let it take over your life, and it should only be temporary. Go ahead and feel bad for a while, but then work on clearing your head so you can move on to the next step of saving your relationship. This may sound impossible but you will have an easier time with it if you can keep your ultimate goal in mind.
Head cleared? Great! The next thing to do is unearth what went wrong. The problem is that we are quick to notice those things that are on the surface, but that won't quite cut it. For example, you may think the problem is arguing. But the truth is that arguing is only the symptom of a deeper issue. Your task is to figure out what those deeper issues are. After all, you can't fix it if you don't know what's really broken.
Now that you know what the real problems, it's time to roll up your sleeves and start fixing them. You really only have a few choices as to how you can handle them. You can ignore them, fix them, or forgive them. It will all depend on how serious the problem is, and how likely it is that it will have an effect on the two of you if you should get back together. Small problems that don't really mean much can often be ignored. Problems that affect how the two of you interact with one another should be solved. Problems that only came up once or twice, but were somewhat major can be forgiven. Of course you and your ex will have to decide what is best for each issue.
Following these steps will put you on the right track to getting back together again. Keep in mind that saving a relationship is going to take some effort, but the best things in life often do.
Showing posts with label saving my relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saving my relationship. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Relationship Rescue - Keep Ahead Of The Game
For years I told my kids to choose wisely when it comes to relationships. I pointed out that it takes two people to make a relationship work, but only one to ruin it. If they find themselves in a relationships with someone who isn't grown up enough to work on the issues than they might find themselves in need of relationship rescue.
While it's never too late to make a relationship work, the longer you wait the more work you will have. Try to stop problems in their tracks before they become ingrained patterns of behavior - which will be much harder to deal with down the road.
So, you may be wondering, how can I save my relationship now that things have gotten out of hand? The first, and maybe the hardest, thing you have to do is to honestly assess the relationship. Are you truly convinced that your partner cares as much about the relationship as you do? If not, than it may well be time to call it quits and move on.
It is pretty close to impossible to fix the troubles in a relationship if you are the only one trying. As painful as it might be in the short term, you will most likely find that in the long run you are much happier and you may even wonder why you hung on so long.
If you believe that both of you are committed to making things work than the next order of business is to figure out what you've been doing wrong and change it. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible if the two of you work together.
Change, even change for the better, is a tough thing for most people. Obviously the way you and your partner have been doing things in your relationship isn't working. If you want things to be better you have to be willing to do things differently, and that can be difficult and scary.
You must be patient with yourself and your partner. You are both undergoing a lot of changes and it isn't always going to be smooth sailing. If one or the other of you 'messes up' be compassionate and don't beat yourselves up about it.
I realize that in our society we want, and expect, quick and easy solutions to our problems, but it won't be quick and it probably won't be easy. Be willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to get the results you need and want. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive your partner for their mistakes. If you both do that, you will already be further ahead of most couples.
Finding relationship rescue for your tattered relationship is as close as your partner. Just talking and deciding if you are both of the same page when it comes to your relationship (and if you are both willing to do what it takes to make it work) is sometimes all you really need to do.
While it's never too late to make a relationship work, the longer you wait the more work you will have. Try to stop problems in their tracks before they become ingrained patterns of behavior - which will be much harder to deal with down the road.
So, you may be wondering, how can I save my relationship now that things have gotten out of hand? The first, and maybe the hardest, thing you have to do is to honestly assess the relationship. Are you truly convinced that your partner cares as much about the relationship as you do? If not, than it may well be time to call it quits and move on.
It is pretty close to impossible to fix the troubles in a relationship if you are the only one trying. As painful as it might be in the short term, you will most likely find that in the long run you are much happier and you may even wonder why you hung on so long.
If you believe that both of you are committed to making things work than the next order of business is to figure out what you've been doing wrong and change it. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible if the two of you work together.
Change, even change for the better, is a tough thing for most people. Obviously the way you and your partner have been doing things in your relationship isn't working. If you want things to be better you have to be willing to do things differently, and that can be difficult and scary.
You must be patient with yourself and your partner. You are both undergoing a lot of changes and it isn't always going to be smooth sailing. If one or the other of you 'messes up' be compassionate and don't beat yourselves up about it.
I realize that in our society we want, and expect, quick and easy solutions to our problems, but it won't be quick and it probably won't be easy. Be willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to get the results you need and want. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive your partner for their mistakes. If you both do that, you will already be further ahead of most couples.
Finding relationship rescue for your tattered relationship is as close as your partner. Just talking and deciding if you are both of the same page when it comes to your relationship (and if you are both willing to do what it takes to make it work) is sometimes all you really need to do.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Saving A Relationship The Easy Way
If you are interested in saving a relationship go and buy The Magic Of Making Up now. This book is written by a happily married man who gives you cheerful down to earth practical advice on how to save your marriage or partnership. Just have a look at all the testimonials he has had to see that his advice works and fast.
Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don't want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.
We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.
This would not exist if there weren't loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.
Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.
Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.
A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.
The good news is that you can learn how to do all these so long as you have a good teacher and they don't come much better than Mr T W Jackson. Saving a relationship will be easy once you get his book. What are you waiting for?
Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don't want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.
We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.
This would not exist if there weren't loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.
Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.
Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.
A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.
The good news is that you can learn how to do all these so long as you have a good teacher and they don't come much better than Mr T W Jackson. Saving a relationship will be easy once you get his book. What are you waiting for?
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