Marriage Requirements For A Happy Union

Perhaps it's a sad commentary on our society that the legal requirements for marriage are relatively simple. The main things the law wants to be assured of is that both parties are old enough, not related and that they pay to file the marriage license. Let's face it, that's a pretty low bar to get over. This lack of more marriage requirements must also be one of the root causes for the high divorce rate in this country. But as you will see, that doesn't have to be the case.

Those are only the legal marriage requirements though. Virtually any couple that wants to get married can do so. It's easy; maybe too easy. However, the other prerequisites are much more meaningful and have a bigger impact on how happy a couple will be. What these requirements all basically boil down to are compatibility.

But what about the concept of "opposites attract"? The truth is that it is more of a romantic notion than true reality. Study after study has shown that even if opposites do attract, they very rarely stay together. this is because there is too little common ground on which to build a relationship. While it can be appealing to meet somebody that is so different from you, the novelty soon wears off. That doesn't mean you should each be carbon copies of one another, far from from it. But you should have a few things in common. Of course, these are all things you should know before you even start thinking about getting married.

There are three main requirements for marriage. If you find that any of these are missing, that's okay. Just being aware of them gives you a chance to make them a part of your relationship or improve on them if needed.

Good Communication. You have to be able to talk to each other, not at each other. The secret to this is listening. That's much more than hearing what your spouse is saying, you also have to pay attention and try to really understand. If you are unable to communicate with one another, then your marriage is headed for trouble. The good news is that better communication techniques can always be learned. That being said, communication will only work if you meet the next prerequisite.

Respect. Everything derives from respect. You take each other seriously (in a good way) and are accepting of you each are. Don't talk down to each other. While you may each have different roles within the marriage, neither one of you is more important than the other.

Love. As the old saying goes, "Love conquers all". When you have love, you can live with the other things not being what they should be. However, there can be a problem when only one of you are in love. This puts things too far out of balance, and means it will be harder to work things out. But as long as the feelings of love are mutual, there are no other requirements of marriage that really matter.

Marriage Requirements - Do You Make The Grade

It is amazing how many people will search for marriage requirements to see if they can legally get married or perhaps to see if they can have a Church wedding. Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger.

Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such. More people give longer thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles. The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn't help.

The sad fact is though that most people do not walk away from a broken marriage without incurring pain and scarring. It is difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die. And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it. They don't regret getting married, they regret getting divorced!

So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation? The first step is to be realistic in your expectations. While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable. You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You need to show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own. Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe. And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don't want to be left with a stranger for company.

You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other. Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines day or your wedding anniversary. In the Magic of Making Up you will get more ideas on how to prevent your marriage or relationship from joining the depressing list of the divorce statistics. So stop worrying about marriage requirements and concentrate instead of being sure that you two are made to last the distance.