Marriage Relationship

To me, it's really sad how a marriage relationship can fall apart. It almost always starts off with such promise and before you know it, the relationship is headed for the rocks.

There are those that say it is inevitable, that a marriage relationship just isn't meant to last. Personally, I don't agree with that. I think a marriage can last and thrive.

I'm not talking about the couple who brag that they've been married for X number of years but can't stand the sight of each other. I'm talking about a strong, respectful, loving relationship that lasts through the curve balls life throws at us.

I absolutely believe that that type of relationship is possible but I also don't believe it's magic or that it happens by accident. I think that to have that type of relationship there are several key ingredients that need to be there.

Ideally, these ingredients will be there right from the start, but if not, both of the people in the marriage are mature enough to be willing to make whatever changes that need to be made.

Here are the "magic ingredients" that I think can make a marriage last forever:

1. You must be compatible. Sounds like a no brainer, doesn't it? But think about it for a minute, how many couples have you known that just are too different to make a relationship work?

Most of us can think of several couples right off the top of our heads who are obviously not compatible. They have different views on everything. They are constantly bickering and arguing over the simplest of things. Not compatible

People often get together for the wrong reasons; sexual attraction or just plain loneliness and desperation. When that happens no one stops to figure out if they are a good match.

If you want a happy marriage, marry someone you have a lot in common with. Someone you can like and respect and someone who will like and respect you too.

2. Learn how to be a grown up. Again, obvious, but too many people do and say such dumb things. Again, from your own experience, how many people do you know who just don't seem to be able to effectively communicate their wants and needs?

They will pout, whine, give someone the silent treatment, basically act like a child, but they can't seem to really communicate with others.

3. Try to jettison most of your baggage. Too many people just don't seem to be willing to move on from some past hurt. They keep hanging onto it likes it's some sort of treasured possession, it's not. Let it go.

If you keep hanging on to your old baggage you will inevitably keep repeating the same mistakes. Who wants that?

That is not the way to make any relationship work, especially a marriage. To make your marriage work, be an adult and marry an adult.

So, to make a marriage relationship strong and healthy, keep these things in mind. If you are already married try to make some changes and hopefully your partner will too.

Stop Playing Games With Your Marriage

As hard as it is to understand, couples still play games with each other after they're married. To be blunt, this game playing is hazardous to the health of the marriage relationship and should be avoided at all costs. There simply is no place for it in a happy marriage.

Aha! Maybe that's the point. If you or your spouse are always playing games, then it could be taken as a sign that your marriage isn't as happy as it could be. Or, perhaps the situation is worse and your marriage is in real trouble. Even if it is humming along nicely, the very fact that mind games are being played means there is room for improvement.

Of course we are talking about mind games up to this point. This may be referred to as manipulation, deceit, laying guilt trips or otherwise being dishonest about what's really going on. however, there are other types of marriage games that you can play. What we are talking about here are more purposeful games that both of you play together. There isn't anything sneaky about them, and they are designed to help strengthen your relationship.

"Why I love you." This game is just like it sounds. You look each other in the eye, then each spouse takes turns mentioning one reason why they love the other one. The first few times you play this it may be difficult to name more than a few things, that's okay. You both have to agree to not take the game personally f the other one is having a hard time. The more you play, the more fun you will have.

"What you mean to me." This game is played the same as the "Why I love you" game, but you each take turns saying what you mean to the other. Just imagine how much better you will make each other feel as you get better at rattling off your lists of why you love and appreciate each other.

"Silence is golden." They say the vast majority of our communication is non-verbal. You can put this to the test and work on having a better relationship at the same time. Go for a preset amount of time where you will agree to talk to each other without using any words. If possible, try doing it for an entire day. Also, choose a block of time where you will be together for most of it, otherwise it won't have the same effect. You may be amazed at just how much you can say without using any words at all.

While there are some games you shouldn't play when you are married (like mind games), there are marriage games that will help you grow closer as a couple. The three games above are a good start, but there is no reason you can't make up games of your own, or find other games people have created for the purpose of a happier marriage.